1
00:00:01,564 --> 00:00:04,932
Changes in jet streams
can affect the speed

2
00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:07,234
at which the Earth
rotates on its axis,

3
00:00:07,236 --> 00:00:10,604
so bad weather can actually
make the day longer.

4
00:00:10,606 --> 00:00:13,474
Well, there must be a hell
of a storm somewhere.

5
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:17,378
Joke if you must,

6
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:19,480
but you're going to
miss these moments.

7
00:00:19,482 --> 00:00:21,248
With Leonard home
in a few days,

8
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:24,451
this was your last time driving
me to the grocery store.

9
00:00:24,453 --> 00:00:26,420
You know,
I will miss this.

10
00:00:26,422 --> 00:00:29,557
I'll tell you what,
if my apples are mealy,

11
00:00:29,559 --> 00:00:33,894
we'll hit the produce section
for one last crazy blowout.

12
00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:36,096
Heck, you can even
push the cart.

13
00:00:36,098 --> 00:00:40,434
Please don't take my looking
forward to Leonard's return

14
00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:43,771
as criticism of the job you've
been doing in his absence.

15
00:00:43,773 --> 00:00:45,239
I won't.

16
00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:49,944
That criticism will come later
in your report card.

17
00:00:49,946 --> 00:00:52,079
Yeah, I didn't stay
for the detention,

18
00:00:52,081 --> 00:00:54,148
I'm not gonna read
the report card.

19
00:00:57,552 --> 00:00:58,519
Hello.

20
00:00:58,521 --> 00:00:59,653
Leonard!

21
00:00:59,655 --> 00:01:00,988
Shh, shh.
Hi!

22
00:01:00,990 --> 00:01:02,389
Keep your voice down.
Oh, my God.

23
00:01:02,391 --> 00:01:03,691
You weren't supposed
to be here till Sunday!

24
00:01:03,693 --> 00:01:04,925
We finished
the experiment early,

25
00:01:04,927 --> 00:01:06,627
so I thought I'd come home
and surprise you.

26
00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:08,128
Oh, my gosh, why
are we whispering?

27
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:09,029
I didn't tell Sheldon,

28
00:01:09,031 --> 00:01:10,731
so we could have
a few days alone.

29
00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:12,666
Oh, that is
so romantic.

30
00:01:12,668 --> 00:01:14,902
Uh, sure,
that's why I did it.

31
00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:19,406
Oh... I just cannot
believe you're here.

32
00:01:19,408 --> 00:01:20,841
Penny, it's
your lucky day!

33
00:01:20,843 --> 00:01:22,877
Three of the eggs are
clearly not jumbo.

34
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:24,245
Grab your keys.

35
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:54,501
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

36
00:01:54,956 --> 00:01:57,525
Uh, Stuart,
I was wondering

37
00:01:57,527 --> 00:01:59,326
if you could help me
find something.

38
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,363
Happy to, unless it's hope
or a reason to live.

39
00:02:03,198 --> 00:02:06,600
Oh, you make me laugh,
sad clown.

40
00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,036
Anyhoo...

41
00:02:09,038 --> 00:02:11,539
Leonard will be back
in a couple days

42
00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:13,841
and I need a welcome-home
gift for him.

43
00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:16,377
As he's been at sea,
perhaps something

44
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,979
with a nautical theme
might be appropriate.

45
00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:21,816
Okay, well, I don't know
how much you want to spend,

46
00:02:21,818 --> 00:02:25,219
but I do have this pretty
cool Aquaman statue.

47
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,825
Aquaman?

48
00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:33,394
Oh, this isn't
a gag gift, Stuart.

49
00:02:34,229 --> 00:02:35,629
Yeah, just as well.

50
00:02:35,631 --> 00:02:37,264
It's a pretty
rare piece.

51
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,700
I'd rather just sell it
to a real collector.

52
00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,236
I'm a real collector.

53
00:02:43,805 --> 00:02:45,239
How rare is it?

54
00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:46,740
Oh, I shouldn't even
have mentioned it.

55
00:02:46,742 --> 00:02:49,410
How about a Batman
squirt gun?

56
00:02:49,412 --> 00:02:51,112
Don't try and trick me

57
00:02:51,114 --> 00:02:53,247
into buying something
I don't want.

58
00:02:53,249 --> 00:02:55,382
Now let's talk Aquaman.

59
00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:59,620
What were they thinking,
putting Doctor Octopus's mind

60
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:01,322
in Spider-Man's body?

61
00:03:01,324 --> 00:03:03,324
Well, I've been
quite enjoying that.

62
00:03:03,326 --> 00:03:05,626
It combines all the
superhero fun of Spider-Man

63
00:03:05,628 --> 00:03:08,762
with all the body-switching
shenanigans of Freaky Friday.

64
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,533
Both versions:
original and Lohan.

65
00:03:12,535 --> 00:03:14,969
"Both versions: original and Lohan."

66
00:03:14,971 --> 00:03:16,103
You're an idiot.

67
00:03:16,105 --> 00:03:18,305
Hey, what's your problem?

68
00:03:18,307 --> 00:03:20,574
I'm sorry, I've been
kind of snippy lately.

69
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,910
It's probably this
stupid diet I'm on.

70
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:23,944
Why are you on a diet?

71
00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:26,080
I've put on
a couple pounds.

72
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:29,517
Had to buy these pants
in the men's section.

73
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,054
Well, we've all
seen your mom.

74
00:03:35,457 --> 00:03:36,624
That Butterball turkey

75
00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:38,759
was bound to come
home to roost.

76
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,796
$1,200!
That's my final offer!

77
00:03:44,065 --> 00:03:46,033
All right, Sheldon,
you win.

78
00:03:46,035 --> 00:03:48,202
I'm sure Leonard
is gonna love this.

79
00:03:48,204 --> 00:03:51,071
Oh, right,
a present for Leonard.

80
00:03:52,073 --> 00:03:54,575
You better throw in
that squirt gun.

81
00:03:54,577 --> 00:03:56,177
Yeah, I don't know.

82
00:03:56,179 --> 00:03:59,213
This squirt gun, it's,
uh, it's pretty rare.

83
00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:02,616
Ooh.

84
00:04:03,718 --> 00:04:07,421
And this is me doing
the Titanic pose on the boat.

85
00:04:07,423 --> 00:04:09,423
Ah.

86
00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:10,624
And... oh.

87
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,526
That's me getting rescued
after I fell in.

88
00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:14,028
Oh.

89
00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:16,297
Oh, that's the pizza.

90
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,398
Yep.

91
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,133
Here's some money.
Thank you.

92
00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:20,401
And I'm gonna hit the head.

93
00:04:20,403 --> 00:04:22,203
That's what us
salty sea dogs say

94
00:04:22,205 --> 00:04:23,904
when we have to go pee-pee.

95
00:04:26,274 --> 00:04:28,042
Hey.
$22.50.

96
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:29,977
Okay, here's, uh, $25.
Keep the change.

97
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,178
Seriously?

98
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,847
I just walked up, like,
four flights of stairs.

99
00:04:33,849 --> 00:04:34,848
Oh.

100
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,383
Okay.

101
00:04:36,385 --> 00:04:37,952
Well, here's, um...

102
00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:40,087
30-something cents

103
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:42,156
and a promise
I won't call your boss

104
00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,992
and tell him
you reek of marijuana.

105
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:48,996
Oh, Penny, I see
you've ordered pizza.

106
00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:50,598
I have Chinese food.

107
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,632
That's nice.

108
00:04:51,634 --> 00:04:55,269
Oh, that's
a rather earthy cologne.

109
00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:59,940
My uncle used
to wear that.

110
00:05:00,942 --> 00:05:02,843
Perhaps we can enjoy
one last meal together

111
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,612
before Leonard returns.
Yeah, thanks,

112
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,280
but I kind of feel like
eating alone tonight, so...

113
00:05:06,282 --> 00:05:07,481
Are you sure?

114
00:05:07,483 --> 00:05:10,150
With your Italian pizza
and my Chinese noodles,

115
00:05:10,152 --> 00:05:11,685
we could play Marco Polo.

116
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:14,688
I mean, of course, a
reenactment of a meal

117
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,057
in the life of Marco Polo
the Venetian explorer,

118
00:05:17,059 --> 00:05:20,661
not Marco Polo the
terrifying water sport.

119
00:05:20,663 --> 00:05:23,631
Uh, yeah, it sounds fun,
but no thanks.

120
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,065
Have a good night!

121
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,934
What, now...
do you have company?

122
00:05:26,936 --> 00:05:28,669
No. No, no, no.

123
00:05:28,671 --> 00:05:30,337
You know what?
Th-The toilet's been doing that.

124
00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:31,772
I called
the building manager, so...

125
00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,907
Oh, I can take a look at it.
Well...

126
00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:35,175
I'm quite familiar
with plumbing.

127
00:05:35,177 --> 00:05:36,477
Not to brag,

128
00:05:36,479 --> 00:05:39,813
but I spent most of fifth grade
with my head in a toilet.

129
00:05:39,815 --> 00:05:41,315
Yeah, no, no, no.

130
00:05:41,317 --> 00:05:42,816
You know what,
Sheldon, it's okay.

131
00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:44,585
You don't have to go
into the bathroom.

132
00:05:44,587 --> 00:05:46,086
That's curious.

133
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:47,421
If there's no one here,

134
00:05:47,423 --> 00:05:50,691
why are there two glasses
of wine on the table?

135
00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:52,192
Oh.

136
00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:54,061
Well, you know,
I-I've got two hands

137
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,330
and a bit of a drinking problem.

138
00:05:56,332 --> 00:05:57,765
Of course.

139
00:05:57,767 --> 00:05:58,932
Ask a silly question.

140
00:05:58,934 --> 00:05:59,867
Oh.

141
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,569
That's odd.

142
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,370
Um, what?

143
00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:04,605
There are takeout containers

144
00:06:04,607 --> 00:06:05,873
in the trash can.

145
00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:08,409
So? That's my dinner
from last night.

146
00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:11,512
What's odd is
they're in the trash can.

147
00:06:11,514 --> 00:06:12,880
Okay.

148
00:06:12,882 --> 00:06:14,081
Look, honey,
I promise there's no one's here.

149
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,215
I've had a long day.

150
00:06:15,217 --> 00:06:16,750
I just want to have
a quiet dinner by myself.

151
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:19,186
Oh, very well.

152
00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:22,623
I'm no stranger to enjoying
the pleasures of solitude.

153
00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:25,993
Oh!
What?

154
00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:27,895
Have you gotten Leonard
a welcome-home gift yet?

155
00:06:27,897 --> 00:06:29,029
No.
Oh, great.

156
00:06:29,031 --> 00:06:30,497
Do you want
to go halfsies

157
00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:32,232
on a $200 squirt gun?

158
00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:36,403
Hi, honey.

159
00:06:36,405 --> 00:06:37,404
Hey.

160
00:06:37,406 --> 00:06:39,206
I made some brownies.
You want one?

161
00:06:40,075 --> 00:06:41,909
You're kidding, right?

162
00:06:42,844 --> 00:06:44,044
I mean, you know

163
00:06:44,046 --> 00:06:45,879
I'm trying to lose weight.

164
00:06:45,881 --> 00:06:49,516
God, I thought we were partners
in this marriage.

165
00:06:49,518 --> 00:06:51,151
We are. Stop it.

166
00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:52,986
And for the last time,
you're not fat.

167
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:55,089
Really? Tell that
to the bathroom scale,

168
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:57,424
'cause one of you is lying.

169
00:06:57,426 --> 00:06:59,760
Fine, forget I asked.

170
00:06:59,762 --> 00:07:01,929
How was dinner
at your mom's?

171
00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:02,996
Awful.

172
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:05,466
I had to rub her ointment
all over her again.

173
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,034
Why can't she do it?

174
00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:10,304
'Cause we've got a deeply
unhealthy relationship.

175
00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:12,806
Which reminds me,

176
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,142
do you think you can get
any samples of this from work?

177
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,777
This was supposed
to last her a month,

178
00:07:16,779 --> 00:07:18,011
but they didn't take
into account

179
00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:19,980
the square footage of her back.

180
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,385
Let me see.

181
00:07:24,387 --> 00:07:26,086
How long have you been
putting this on her?

182
00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:27,254
I don't know.

183
00:07:27,256 --> 00:07:28,222
Few weeks. Why?

184
00:07:28,224 --> 00:07:31,024
This is really strong
estrogen cream.

185
00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:32,826
Please tell me
you've been wearing gloves.

186
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:35,562
Like these swollen sausages
could fit in gloves.

187
00:07:37,265 --> 00:07:39,533
Howie, the estrogen's getting
absorbed by your skin.

188
00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:40,901
That's why you've been

189
00:07:40,903 --> 00:07:44,872
all bloated and moody
and a giant pain in the ass.

190
00:07:44,874 --> 00:07:48,242
You're full of estrogen
and you don't act like that.

191
00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:49,510
That's 'cause I'm a woman.

192
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:53,113
I've had years of practice
riding the dragon.

193
00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:55,716
Fine.

194
00:07:55,718 --> 00:07:57,151
I'll wear gloves next time.

195
00:07:57,153 --> 00:07:58,652
It's still gonna take
a few weeks

196
00:07:58,654 --> 00:08:00,254
for the hormones
to leave your system.

197
00:08:00,256 --> 00:08:02,723
I feel so stupid.

198
00:08:02,725 --> 00:08:05,492
And fat.

199
00:08:05,494 --> 00:08:06,894
It's okay.

200
00:08:06,896 --> 00:08:08,962
You still look
great to me.

201
00:08:08,964 --> 00:08:11,031
In fact, why don't
we go in the bedroom

202
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,066
and I'll prove
it to you?

203
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,435
Sex? Really?

204
00:08:14,437 --> 00:08:16,837
I mean, that's just
your solution to everything!

205
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,774
Oh, and here's
a fun thing.

206
00:08:20,776 --> 00:08:22,709
I worked it out
so that there are

207
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,144
two different
words for spoon:

208
00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,747
"planko" and "janko."

209
00:08:26,749 --> 00:08:29,082
"Planko" is a spoon
with food,

210
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,084
"janko" is a spoon
without food.

211
00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:34,988
"Janko" is spelled
with a silent "ptang."

212
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,026
Sheldon, you're
not even listening

213
00:08:39,028 --> 00:08:41,395
to the rules of my
made-up language.

214
00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:42,796
Yes, I am.

215
00:08:42,798 --> 00:08:44,665
Then what does
"tweepadock" mean?

216
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,366
Uh...

217
00:08:46,368 --> 00:08:47,734
elephant?

218
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,003
Lucky guess.

219
00:08:52,607 --> 00:08:53,841
I'm sorry.

220
00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:55,509
I'm just distracted
by something

221
00:08:55,511 --> 00:08:57,010
that happened over at Penny's.

222
00:08:57,012 --> 00:08:58,145
What happened?

223
00:08:58,147 --> 00:09:01,048
I fear Penny is being
unfaithful to Leonard.

224
00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:02,115
What?

225
00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:04,051
She claimed to be alone

226
00:09:04,053 --> 00:09:07,054
when there was obviously
someone else in her apartment.

227
00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:09,556
I have no choice but
to assume the worst,

228
00:09:09,558 --> 00:09:11,992
given Leonard's
lengthy sea voyage

229
00:09:11,994 --> 00:09:15,362
and her famously
ravenous nether regions.

230
00:09:16,364 --> 00:09:18,365
I don't think Penny
would cheat on Leonard.

231
00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:19,600
Oh, really?

232
00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:25,205
She and I once had
a staring contest.

233
00:09:25,207 --> 00:09:28,242
She clapped really loud
and made me blink.

234
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,713
It's a small leap from
there to sexual infidelity.

235
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,650
You're being ridiculous.

236
00:09:36,652 --> 00:09:39,186
Amy, there were Chinese
food containers...

237
00:09:39,188 --> 00:09:41,421
in the trash can.

238
00:09:43,258 --> 00:09:44,958
Poor Leonard.

239
00:09:50,698 --> 00:09:52,199
Do you hear anything?

240
00:09:52,201 --> 00:09:54,201
I hear a woman's voice.

241
00:09:54,203 --> 00:09:55,435
Is it Penny?

242
00:09:55,437 --> 00:09:57,104
No, it's you.

243
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:02,276
All right,
I hear whispering and giggling.

244
00:10:02,278 --> 00:10:03,777
Now I think
I hear kissing.

245
00:10:03,779 --> 00:10:06,747
Yeah, like you know
what kissing sounds like.

246
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:10,284
There's kissing
in Star Trek, smarty-pants.

247
00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:12,119
Let me listen.

248
00:10:14,589 --> 00:10:15,956
Sounds like Leonard.

249
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:17,291
Please.

250
00:10:17,293 --> 00:10:19,326
Why would Leonard
come home early

251
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,328
and waste his time kissing Penny

252
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:24,531
when he could be hanging out
with his best buddy?

253
00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:27,134
Yeah, that's it.

254
00:10:27,136 --> 00:10:28,802
I'm catching
her in the act.

255
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:30,837
No, Sheldon, don't.

256
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,172
Aha!

257
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,540
What the hell?

258
00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:34,808
Leonard?

259
00:10:34,810 --> 00:10:36,777
Sheldon, you cannot just
barge in here like that!

260
00:10:36,779 --> 00:10:38,979
Right.

261
00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:42,316
Penny!

262
00:10:42,318 --> 00:10:44,885
Penny!
Penny!

263
00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:49,222
Are you going to

264
00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:52,292
answer the door or should I
open it and say "aha" again?

265
00:11:00,669 --> 00:11:02,270
I'm sorry, Sheldon.

266
00:11:02,272 --> 00:11:03,438
I should've told you I was back.

267
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,340
I just wanted to have
a couple days alone with Penny.

268
00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:07,175
Oh, no, I should apologize.

269
00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:09,344
Uh, I never realized
to what extent

270
00:11:09,346 --> 00:11:11,379
our friendship was
a burden to you.

271
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:13,047
That is not fair.

272
00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:16,384
I complain about what a burden
it is at least once a month.

273
00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:17,985
Oh, no, no,
let's not sugarcoat this.

274
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:21,956
You find me finicky,
pedantic and annoying.

275
00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:23,191
No, he doesn't.

276
00:11:23,193 --> 00:11:27,495
I actually have used
those exact words before.

277
00:11:27,497 --> 00:11:29,197
In that order.

278
00:11:30,499 --> 00:11:32,266
Well, Leonard,
I think it's high time

279
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:35,770
you and I address
the "tweepadock" in the room.

280
00:11:35,772 --> 00:11:37,672
The what?

281
00:11:37,674 --> 00:11:39,474
Amy?
Please leave me out of this.

282
00:11:39,476 --> 00:11:41,275
Uh... fine.

283
00:11:41,277 --> 00:11:42,443
Leonard,

284
00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:43,745
there's no need for you

285
00:11:43,747 --> 00:11:45,213
to pretend to like me anymore.

286
00:11:45,215 --> 00:11:46,914
Come on, I said I was sorry.

287
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:48,516
No, no, you save your apologies

288
00:11:48,518 --> 00:11:51,886
for after you've had
disappointing coitus with Penny.

289
00:11:53,889 --> 00:11:56,591
It was fine.

290
00:11:56,593 --> 00:11:58,259
Come on, this is silly.

291
00:11:58,261 --> 00:12:00,061
Hey, um, I brought you back

292
00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:03,398
a little present
from my trip, huh?

293
00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,267
It's that sailor cap
that you wanted.

294
00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:07,735
It's neat, huh?

295
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,406
You honestly think you can
buy back my friendship

296
00:12:11,408 --> 00:12:12,807
with a cheap souvenir?

297
00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:14,642
I don't.

298
00:12:14,644 --> 00:12:15,710
No, I really don't.

299
00:12:15,712 --> 00:12:17,211
Just try it on.

300
00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:22,216
Oh, yeah.

301
00:12:22,218 --> 00:12:24,118
Hello, sailor.
Ooh, now we're talking.

302
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,389
Excuse me.

303
00:12:36,932 --> 00:12:39,000
This changes nothing.

304
00:12:39,935 --> 00:12:41,135
Except the Halloween costume

305
00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:42,470
I'm wearing this year.

306
00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:45,406
Amy, you're going
to be Olive Oyl.

307
00:12:45,408 --> 00:12:46,974
Lay off the donuts.

308
00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,613
Thanks for coming over.

309
00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:53,514
No problem.

310
00:12:53,516 --> 00:12:55,316
Ooh, you made
little sandwiches!

311
00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:58,019
Yeah, that's cucumber
and cream cheese.

312
00:12:58,021 --> 00:12:59,720
That's turkey and loganberry.

313
00:12:59,722 --> 00:13:03,524
And don't tell my hips, but I'm
warming up a brie in the oven.

314
00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:05,526
Nice. So...

315
00:13:05,528 --> 00:13:07,495
Mmm. What's up?

316
00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:10,565
Okay, well, I've been reading up
on all the side effects

317
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,567
you can get from estrogen,

318
00:13:12,569 --> 00:13:13,901
and...

319
00:13:13,903 --> 00:13:16,604
I need you to be honest with me.

320
00:13:16,606 --> 00:13:20,107
Do my boobs look bigger to you?

321
00:13:20,109 --> 00:13:22,910
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.

322
00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,879
Come on, Raj,
it's a "yes or no" question.

323
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:26,214
I'm not sure.

324
00:13:26,216 --> 00:13:28,216
Um, wait.

325
00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:30,885
Jump up and down...
let's see if they jiggle.

326
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,093
Uh, no, I...

327
00:13:39,095 --> 00:13:40,828
I still can't tell, uh...

328
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:43,731
Oh, you know what?
Okay, uh, give me some of this.

329
00:13:46,802 --> 00:13:47,969
Seriously?

330
00:13:47,971 --> 00:13:49,337
Do you want my help or not?

331
00:13:50,172 --> 00:13:52,373
Fine.

332
00:13:57,312 --> 00:13:58,779
Okay, yup.

333
00:13:58,781 --> 00:14:01,449
See, see, that-that
looks like...

334
00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:02,550
that looks like
they could be bigger.

335
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,586
But you know, I bet...
I bet when I do it,

336
00:14:05,588 --> 00:14:08,656
mine do the same thing.

337
00:14:12,361 --> 00:14:13,761
Yeah, they kind of do.

338
00:14:13,763 --> 00:14:15,563
Hmm. Uh, let me
see something.

339
00:14:15,565 --> 00:14:18,266
Hey, easy!

340
00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:19,901
My nipples are sensitive.

341
00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:20,902
Oh.

342
00:14:20,904 --> 00:14:22,069
Sorry, sorry, uh...

343
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:25,773
Okay.

344
00:14:30,512 --> 00:14:32,713
I mean...

345
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,584
Yeah, m-maybe.

346
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,753
Okay, let me feel.

347
00:14:46,528 --> 00:14:50,064
No, I am definitely
up a cup size.

348
00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:51,299
You know, b-but
they're very firm,

349
00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:52,967
so you've got that
going for you.

350
00:14:52,969 --> 00:14:54,001
You think?

351
00:14:54,003 --> 00:14:56,203
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
very perky.

352
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:58,472
Thank you.

353
00:14:58,474 --> 00:15:00,474
I really needed
to hear that today.

354
00:15:03,412 --> 00:15:04,712
Ooh, brie's ready!

355
00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:06,781
Yay!

356
00:15:10,752 --> 00:15:11,752
Good morning.

357
00:15:11,754 --> 00:15:13,054
Hello.

358
00:15:13,056 --> 00:15:15,656
So am I driving
you to work

359
00:15:15,658 --> 00:15:17,491
or are you still mad at me?

360
00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:19,160
I'd like a ride.

361
00:15:19,995 --> 00:15:21,329
Assuming you actually do

362
00:15:21,331 --> 00:15:22,730
take me to work.

363
00:15:22,732 --> 00:15:24,599
Where do you think
I would take you?

364
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,634
Who knows?

365
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,703
Uh, you said
you'd be home yesterday,

366
00:15:28,705 --> 00:15:30,805
but you came home
three days ago.

367
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:32,139
You say you're
taking me

368
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:34,375
to work, but for all I know,

369
00:15:34,377 --> 00:15:38,045
I'll end up
in a deserted amusement park.

370
00:15:38,047 --> 00:15:40,681
Or a cornfield maze.

371
00:15:40,683 --> 00:15:42,483
Or a back alley dog fight.

372
00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:44,251
You tell me.

373
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,187
I'm going to work.

374
00:15:46,189 --> 00:15:47,622
You can come if you want.

375
00:15:47,624 --> 00:15:49,824
Okay.

376
00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:53,194
By the way, you have
something on your shirt.

377
00:15:53,196 --> 00:15:54,695
No, I don't.

378
00:15:54,697 --> 00:15:56,163
Hurts, doesn't it?

379
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:03,237
You know, I find
myself wondering

380
00:16:03,239 --> 00:16:05,706
if anything you've
ever told me is true.

381
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,241
I didn't make it back.

382
00:16:07,243 --> 00:16:09,443
The ship sank,
I'm in hell.

383
00:16:11,613 --> 00:16:15,583
You say you're from New Jersey,
but how can I believe you?

384
00:16:15,585 --> 00:16:18,452
Why would anyone claim
to be from New Jersey

385
00:16:18,454 --> 00:16:20,588
if they weren't?

386
00:16:22,424 --> 00:16:24,625
All right,
I'll give you that one.

387
00:16:24,627 --> 00:16:27,294
Hey, I said
I was sorry.

388
00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:28,929
What else
do you want from me?

389
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:30,931
I want you to admit that
what you did was wrong.

390
00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:31,932
Fine.

391
00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:34,235
What I did was wrong.

392
00:16:34,237 --> 00:16:35,936
I wish I could
believe you.

393
00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:38,706
You know what?

394
00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:40,041
I'm not driving
you to work,

395
00:16:40,043 --> 00:16:41,676
because you're
incredibly annoying.

396
00:16:41,678 --> 00:16:44,478
You say one thing
and do the other,

397
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,282
so then you are driving me
and you find me a delight.

398
00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:50,284
Stop it.
Keep it up?

399
00:16:50,286 --> 00:16:51,085
Bye!

400
00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:52,653
Hello!

401
00:16:57,292 --> 00:17:01,395
So I guess you're really holding
up the other four fingers?

402
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,833
Oh, hey, what are you
doing here so early?

403
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:06,967
Driving Sheldon to work.

404
00:17:06,969 --> 00:17:08,602
He's still mad at Leonard, huh?

405
00:17:08,604 --> 00:17:09,970
Well, he's mad at you, too.

406
00:17:09,972 --> 00:17:13,941
He says you're the succubus
who led his friend astray.

407
00:17:15,544 --> 00:17:18,379
I don't know
what "succubus" is, but...

408
00:17:18,381 --> 00:17:21,115
it has "suck" in it,
so that can't be good.

409
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,552
Thought I heard
you out here.

410
00:17:24,554 --> 00:17:25,453
Hey, Sheldon.

411
00:17:25,455 --> 00:17:26,921
You don't get a "hey."

412
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:28,823
You get a "hmm."

413
00:17:28,825 --> 00:17:30,357
Come on, don't be like that.

414
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,094
We had so much fun together
the last couple of months.

415
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:34,328
You're right.

416
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,197
Which makes your betrayal
all the more devastating.

417
00:17:36,199 --> 00:17:37,364
Sheldon...

418
00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:39,333
I let you buy
feminine hygiene products

419
00:17:39,335 --> 00:17:41,368
with my supermarket club card.

420
00:17:42,571 --> 00:17:44,405
You have any idea
the kind of coupons

421
00:17:44,407 --> 00:17:46,307
I'm going to get
in the mail now?

422
00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:48,776
Sheldon, your fight's
with Leonard.

423
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:50,377
Penny's got nothing to do...

424
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:52,113
Careful, Amy.

425
00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:55,950
The friend of my enemy's
girlfriend is my enemy.

426
00:17:55,952 --> 00:17:56,817
Really?

427
00:17:56,819 --> 00:17:57,918
Yes.

428
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,553
You're either with me
or against me.

429
00:17:59,555 --> 00:18:01,889
You want to take
the bus to work?

430
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,992
Maybe there's a third option.

431
00:18:07,162 --> 00:18:10,598
FYI, I had a doughnut
for breakfast, you jerk.

432
00:18:13,535 --> 00:18:15,503
So now we're just
waiting for the data

433
00:18:15,505 --> 00:18:16,871
from the ship to be crunched,

434
00:18:16,873 --> 00:18:19,507
but the numbers look
pretty promising.

435
00:18:19,509 --> 00:18:20,674
That's so great.

436
00:18:20,676 --> 00:18:22,810
If you guys prove the existence
of Unruh radiation...

437
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:23,911
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

438
00:18:23,913 --> 00:18:25,513
My eyes are up here.

439
00:18:27,716 --> 00:18:29,283
Howard, Raj.

440
00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:31,085
Judas.

441
00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:33,254
You know what?

442
00:18:33,256 --> 00:18:34,722
You're a crazy person.

443
00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:37,024
A crazy person
with a long memory,

444
00:18:37,026 --> 00:18:40,094
and if all goes
according to plan, a robot army.

445
00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:41,996
Stop it.

446
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:43,264
Or a mutant army.

447
00:18:43,266 --> 00:18:45,933
It depends on how
my Kickstarter goes.

448
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,303
I said, stop it!

449
00:18:49,305 --> 00:18:51,705
Now, listen to me.

450
00:18:51,707 --> 00:18:55,176
You two aren't just friends.

451
00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:57,144
You're best friends.

452
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,980
And that's a beautiful thing.

453
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:05,619
I mean, Leonard, you know why
he's so mad at you?

454
00:19:05,621 --> 00:19:07,421
It's 'cause he missed you!

455
00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:09,056
Yeah, and as his friend,

456
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:11,826
you should be happy

457
00:19:11,828 --> 00:19:15,029
he has love in his life.

458
00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:16,931
As I do.

459
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:21,068
This man held my breast
the other day,

460
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:22,903
and I love him for it.

461
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:27,675
A little loud, dude.

462
00:19:28,977 --> 00:19:32,913
So, can we please put aside
these petty differences

463
00:19:32,915 --> 00:19:36,116
and just be glad
we're here together?

464
00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,688
Okay.
I suppose so.

465
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:43,490
Thank you.

466
00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:45,729
Uh, it wasn't anything weird.

467
00:19:45,731 --> 00:19:48,031
It was just to see
how big they were.

468
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,713
And then Leonard took me
to the barber and the dentist,

469
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:02,515
and then to cap off
the perfect day,

470
00:20:02,517 --> 00:20:06,052
the Los Angeles Bureau
of Weights and Measures.

471
00:20:07,054 --> 00:20:09,122
I thought the measures
were going to be the stars

472
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:12,525
of the show;
turns out it was the weights.

473
00:20:12,527 --> 00:20:15,595
I'm so glad you guys
are friends again.

474
00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:18,297
And I'm glad you and I
are friends again, too.

475
00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:19,665
Aw.
Which reminds me.

476
00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:22,435
This came in the mail,
and I want you to have it.

477
00:20:22,437 --> 00:20:25,972
"50 cents off Vagisil."

478
00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:30,109
Think of me
when you apply it.

479
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,080
Uh, can I just say,

480
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,215
I've missed all of us
hanging out together.

481
00:20:36,217 --> 00:20:37,850
Yeah.
Me, too.

482
00:20:37,852 --> 00:20:40,453
Um, since when can
Koothrappali talk

483
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:42,221
in front of the girls
without a beer?

484
00:20:42,223 --> 00:20:44,424
Oh, that happened
right after you left.

485
00:20:44,426 --> 00:20:45,992
And no one told me?

486
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:49,262
Can't believe
we forgot to tell him.

487
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,933
Think of Sheldon
when you apply it.

488
00:20:53,935 --> 00:20:58,935
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man