1
00:00:00,337 --> 00:00:01,873
Wow, you're really
good at this.

2
00:00:01,875 --> 00:00:05,046
Well, I have an extremely
low center of gravity.

3
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:08,269
I'm like a pyramid.

4
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:11,976
How you doing over there?

5
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:15,484
Oh, I hope it's just a sprain.

6
00:00:16,152 --> 00:00:17,738
I cannot walk into that E.R.

7
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:20,927
with another video game injury.

8
00:00:20,929 --> 00:00:23,248
Hey, Sheldon,
you want to play next?

9
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:25,637
Oh, I would, but
I'm on my way out.

10
00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:28,876
Where?
Texas.

11
00:00:28,878 --> 00:00:30,847
Right now?

12
00:00:30,849 --> 00:00:31,933
Why?

13
00:00:31,935 --> 00:00:33,419
Is someone sick?
Yes.

14
00:00:33,421 --> 00:00:37,026
My sister's uterus came
down with a baby.

15
00:00:38,129 --> 00:00:39,865
Oh, she's pregnant?
That's great.

16
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,836
You're gone an uncle...
Uncle Sheldon.

17
00:00:41,838 --> 00:00:44,575
No, I will be
Uncle Dr. Cooper.

18
00:00:45,461 --> 00:00:47,548
How come you never said
she was pregnant?

19
00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:49,552
Well, I never told you
about my brother's kidney stone.

20
00:00:49,554 --> 00:00:50,804
You want to hear
about everything

21
00:00:50,806 --> 00:00:52,891
that comes out
of my family's genitals?

22
00:00:53,861 --> 00:00:55,429
Well, congrats, and it's nice

23
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,862
you're gonna be there
for your sister.

24
00:00:56,863 --> 00:00:57,593
Yes.

25
00:00:57,653 --> 00:00:59,605
I'm filling in for her husband
who's recovering

26
00:00:59,607 --> 00:01:01,909
from a horrible
motorcycle accident.

27
00:01:01,911 --> 00:01:04,130
Lucky duck.

28
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,952
Wow, so, how long
will you be gone?

29
00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:08,757
Well, she's due tomorrow.

30
00:01:08,759 --> 00:01:10,844
Although it did take her six
years to finish high school,

31
00:01:10,846 --> 00:01:12,296
so who knows?

32
00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,518
Can I give you a ride
to the airport?

33
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,139
Oh, no, thank you, I don't want
to be an inconvenience.

34
00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:18,442
Chop-chop, Leonard.

35
00:01:18,444 --> 00:01:20,446
We leave in ten minutes.

36
00:01:46,152 --> 00:01:51,157
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

37
00:01:51,183 --> 00:01:53,236
All right, here's the deal.

38
00:01:53,338 --> 00:01:55,457
Sheldon is gone,
so the tree decorating rules

39
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,493
are out the window.

40
00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:57,512
Yeah, which means

41
00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,015
we don't have to use
his ridiculous

42
00:01:59,017 --> 00:02:01,920
ornament-spacing template.

43
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,108
And I'm happy to report
its kickstarter campaign

44
00:02:04,110 --> 00:02:06,980
is holding strong at zero dollars.
Ah.

45
00:02:06,982 --> 00:02:09,903
Wait, so Star Wars
and Star Trek characters

46
00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:12,190
can go on the same branch?

47
00:02:12,192 --> 00:02:13,494
I know, it's crazy.

48
00:02:13,496 --> 00:02:15,531
Welcome to the Thunderdome,
people!

49
00:02:17,336 --> 00:02:18,704
I've never done this before.

50
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,006
It's kind of fun.

51
00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:21,041
Yeah, if your mom could see

52
00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:22,361
her little Bar Mitzvah boy
right now,

53
00:02:22,363 --> 00:02:23,481
she'd have a heart attack.

54
00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:25,985
Good idea, I'll take a picture.

55
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,947
Honey, I'm a little strapped
for cash this year,

56
00:02:31,949 --> 00:02:35,253
so for Christmas I was
thinking of giving you...

57
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:38,126
this.

58
00:02:38,128 --> 00:02:39,463
I love it.

59
00:02:39,465 --> 00:02:40,798
Okay.

60
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,769
But it is what you got me
last year.

61
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,806
Yeah.
And last night.

62
00:02:46,896 --> 00:02:48,446
Hello.

63
00:02:48,448 --> 00:02:49,816
Hi, Stuart.

64
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:50,868
Oh, good, I'm glad you guys

65
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,204
didn't wait for me to start.

66
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,439
Although you said 7:00

67
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,329
and it's-it's 7:00,
but that's fine.

68
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:02,090
Oh, it's probably Sheldon.

69
00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:03,209
Hi, Sheldon.

70
00:03:03,211 --> 00:03:05,481
Everybody's here, say hi.

71
00:03:05,483 --> 00:03:06,633
Hey. - Hey.
Hey, buddy.

72
00:03:06,635 --> 00:03:08,135
Howdy.
Hi.

73
00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,906
Hello.

74
00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:12,996
The second I go out of town

75
00:03:12,998 --> 00:03:15,316
you throw a Christmas party
without me?

76
00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:16,954
Yeah, kind of.

77
00:03:16,956 --> 00:03:18,624
That's so thoughtful.

78
00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,461
You guys are the best.

79
00:03:20,463 --> 00:03:23,183
Hey, how's your sister?

80
00:03:23,185 --> 00:03:25,721
She went into labor an hour ago.

81
00:03:25,723 --> 00:03:28,175
That's wonderful.
So you're at the hospital?

82
00:03:28,177 --> 00:03:30,948
No, she chose to have a home
birth... because she wants

83
00:03:30,950 --> 00:03:34,856
to live in the Stone Age
and a cave wasn't available.

84
00:03:34,858 --> 00:03:38,046
You know, many
people believe

85
00:03:38,048 --> 00:03:40,050
that home births are
better because the mother

86
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:41,553
is in a warm,
comfortable environment

87
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,641
where she can be nurtured
by loved ones.

88
00:03:43,643 --> 00:03:45,393
And turn the bedroom floor

89
00:03:45,395 --> 00:03:48,382
into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide.

90
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,105
Shelly, come on!

91
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:53,409
Your sister's fully dilated

92
00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,698
and she wants
a nice family picture

93
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:58,787
before there's blood everywhere!

94
00:03:58,789 --> 00:04:00,406
Oh, boy.

95
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:04,081
I picked the wrong day
to wear my good robot T-shirt.

96
00:04:06,303 --> 00:04:08,056
If you were having
Sheldon's baby

97
00:04:08,058 --> 00:04:10,026
would you really want
him in the room?

98
00:04:10,028 --> 00:04:11,930
Yeah, if he's in the room
when they're making the baby,

99
00:04:11,932 --> 00:04:14,486
I'll give you ten dollars.

100
00:04:15,454 --> 00:04:16,823
Hey, I brought over
It's a Wonderful Life

101
00:04:16,825 --> 00:04:18,544
if you guys want
to watch it later.

102
00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:19,779
Oh, I love that movie.

103
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:20,748
I've never seen it.

104
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,652
- Me neither.
- It's great.

105
00:04:22,654 --> 00:04:25,508
It's Christmastime and
Jimmy Stewart's really depressed

106
00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:28,062
and he's gonna jump off a bridge
and kill himself...

107
00:04:28,064 --> 00:04:30,283
Don't need to see it.
Living it.

108
00:04:31,269 --> 00:04:32,404
But then he gets to see
what the world

109
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,809
would be like
if he'd never been born.

110
00:04:34,811 --> 00:04:36,195
Hey, you ever imagine
what that would be like?

111
00:04:36,197 --> 00:04:37,582
Not being born?

112
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:39,317
What do you think?

113
00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:40,755
What do you think?

114
00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,925
What do you think?

115
00:04:44,797 --> 00:04:46,767
You make jokes about Sheldon,

116
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:48,102
but if it weren't
for him,

117
00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:49,455
I don't think
any of us

118
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,392
would be sitting
in this room right now.

119
00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:52,979
Really? Sheldon not being here

120
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:55,818
is the main reason
I'm in this room.

121
00:04:57,388 --> 00:04:58,690
It's true.

122
00:04:58,692 --> 00:05:00,410
None of you would know me.

123
00:05:00,412 --> 00:05:02,164
You wouldn't
know Bernadette.

124
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:04,586
You wouldn't be dating Penny.
You don't know that.

125
00:05:04,588 --> 00:05:06,389
I've been going to the
Cheesecake Factory for years.

126
00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:07,508
I could have picked her up.

127
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:14,221
Oh, you weren't joking.

128
00:05:14,223 --> 00:05:15,156
No.

129
00:05:15,158 --> 00:05:16,693
Okay, sweetie,
let me tell you

130
00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:18,781
exactly how that
would have gone down.

131
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,456
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.

132
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:27,965
I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk
out of my nipples.

133
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,086
Sorry, I thought
we're saying things

134
00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:31,807
that are never
gonna happen.

135
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,194
Maybe this time
he's going to do it.

136
00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:36,148
Hope you're thirsty,
here it comes.

137
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:40,206
Watch me.

138
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,580
Hey, you guys ready to order
or you need a few minutes?

139
00:05:43,582 --> 00:05:44,866
I, uh, ah, um, I...

140
00:05:44,868 --> 00:05:46,418
A few minutes it is.

141
00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:50,728
You didn't ask her out,
but that was a lot of sounds.

142
00:05:52,431 --> 00:05:54,184
You guys are
making me nervous.

143
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,905
Fine, then go talk
to her on your own.

144
00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:57,942
I will.

145
00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:06,208
Excuse me.

146
00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:07,461
Yeah?

147
00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:10,667
Hi, uh, um, I'm Leonard?

148
00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:13,673
Really? You don't
sound so sure.

149
00:06:13,675 --> 00:06:16,646
No, I am he.

150
00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:21,021
Uh, any-anyway, um,

151
00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:23,159
there's been something
I've wanted to ask you

152
00:06:23,161 --> 00:06:25,296
for a long time. Um...

153
00:06:25,298 --> 00:06:27,133
What's that?
Eh, uh, well,

154
00:06:27,135 --> 00:06:29,538
I was wondering...
if you're not too busy...

155
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,958
um, uh, if,

156
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,647
if you'd be interested in...

157
00:06:34,432 --> 00:06:37,939
telling me where
the restroom is?

158
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:43,115
I think you're too late.

159
00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:47,842
Come on, I would not
have peed my pants.

160
00:06:47,844 --> 00:06:49,745
She nailed it.
Sounds about right.

161
00:06:50,765 --> 00:06:53,386
But, you forget, I did
ask you out in real life.

162
00:06:53,388 --> 00:06:55,858
Which couldn't have happened if
you didn't live across the hall

163
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:58,195
from her, which couldn't have
happened without Sheldon.

164
00:06:58,197 --> 00:06:59,699
Same goes
with you guys.

165
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:01,068
If Leonard wasn't with Penny,

166
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,571
she never would
have set you up.

167
00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:04,441
Doesn't matter. Bernadette
still would've been working

168
00:07:04,443 --> 00:07:05,744
at The Cheesecake Factory,

169
00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:08,783
and I still would've been
working this beefcake factory.

170
00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:12,892
You would've been all over me.

171
00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:14,595
Well...

172
00:07:17,018 --> 00:07:18,904
Hey, Penny, can
I take that table?

173
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,023
Sure, why?

174
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:22,160
The one in the turtleneck
is cute.

175
00:07:22,162 --> 00:07:23,646
Open wide,

176
00:07:23,648 --> 00:07:26,201
here comes the happy train.

177
00:07:27,756 --> 00:07:31,496
Mm-hmm, chug-a
chug-a, yum, yum.

178
00:07:32,832 --> 00:07:34,886
Oh.

179
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,672
Hang on.

180
00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:40,113
You got a... you got
a little something.

181
00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:45,022
Never mind.

182
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:48,580
Oh, man,

183
00:07:48,582 --> 00:07:51,034
that is so us.

184
00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:57,063
You know, maybe you and
I wouldn't be together,

185
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:58,883
but you wouldn't have
done so great yourself.

186
00:07:58,885 --> 00:08:00,386
Why?
Because I know exactly

187
00:08:00,388 --> 00:08:02,558
the kind of guy you
would've ended up with.

188
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:07,333
Hey, babe.

189
00:08:07,335 --> 00:08:09,004
Hey. Did you remember
to pay the rent?

190
00:08:09,006 --> 00:08:11,793
Better. I used the money
to buy these magic beans.

191
00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:15,049
Hey, he may be
an idiot, but at least

192
00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:16,803
he didn't pee himself.

193
00:08:18,591 --> 00:08:20,811
Oh, hold on.

194
00:08:21,781 --> 00:08:23,766
Aw, babe, I peed myself.

195
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,792
Me, too.

196
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,427
The end.

197
00:08:41,436 --> 00:08:42,855
Hi, Sheldon.

198
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:44,140
Everything okay?

199
00:08:44,142 --> 00:08:46,863
No, it's not.

200
00:08:46,865 --> 00:08:48,702
I've seen things.

201
00:08:49,884 --> 00:08:54,160
Lady things.

202
00:08:54,161 --> 00:08:55,830
Listen to me.

203
00:08:55,832 --> 00:08:58,670
That is not the way
they usually look.

204
00:09:01,494 --> 00:09:03,112
Doesn't matter.

205
00:09:03,114 --> 00:09:05,784
This is no way
to make new humans.

206
00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:08,072
People coming out of people.

207
00:09:09,576 --> 00:09:11,913
It's some kind
of dirty magic show.

208
00:09:11,915 --> 00:09:14,585
Sheldon Lee Cooper.

209
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,423
You get back
in this room right now.

210
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,712
Bring a mop.

211
00:09:19,714 --> 00:09:21,047
Did you hear that?

212
00:09:21,049 --> 00:09:22,718
A mop.

213
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,189
I have two PhDs yet somehow
I'm the janitor

214
00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:27,160
of my sister's birth canal.

215
00:09:36,716 --> 00:09:38,803
Hey, Sheldon sent us all

216
00:09:38,805 --> 00:09:40,004
an e-mail.

217
00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:41,942
"Happy holidays from Texas."
Aw.

218
00:09:41,944 --> 00:09:43,144
And there's pictures.

219
00:09:43,146 --> 00:09:44,213
Aah!

220
00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:46,284
Don't open them.
Do not open them.

221
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,238
Oh, come on.

222
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,208
Childbirth is a
natural, beautiful...

223
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:53,248
Oh, it's like someone
sawed a cow in half.

224
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:59,928
My father's a gynecologist,
I think I can handle it.

225
00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:03,118
And, now, I'm gay.

226
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,225
You know, I was thinking.
Without Sheldon,

227
00:10:07,227 --> 00:10:08,579
most of us would have never met,

228
00:10:08,581 --> 00:10:10,666
but Penny would still
live across from him.

229
00:10:10,668 --> 00:10:13,572
And with Leonard
out of the picture,

230
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:15,175
we all know what
that would mean.

231
00:10:15,177 --> 00:10:16,812
We do?

232
00:10:20,069 --> 00:10:21,688
Hey, Sheldon.

233
00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:23,859
Hello.

234
00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:26,899
Doing laundry?

235
00:10:30,908 --> 00:10:33,077
Of course
I'm doing laundry.

236
00:10:33,079 --> 00:10:34,798
Saturday night is laundry night,

237
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,285
and I'm in a laundry room, so...

238
00:10:37,287 --> 00:10:39,173
I believe your inference
is justified.

239
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:41,728
Oh, my
inference is justified.

240
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:44,266
Sheldon, you
are so funny.

241
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,578
Anyway, I need to
do my laundry, too,

242
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:52,984
because these
clothes are so dirty.

243
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,792
Almost as dirty as the dirty
girl who's wearing them.

244
00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:00,265
Okay, that's enough.

245
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,821
Disagree.
Keep going. - More.

246
00:11:04,509 --> 00:11:07,312
So, what do you think?

247
00:11:07,314 --> 00:11:12,456
A tad asymmetrical, but nothing
to be concerned about.

248
00:11:13,793 --> 00:11:15,830
Please, Sheldon. I need you.

249
00:11:15,832 --> 00:11:19,203
To... what?

250
00:11:19,205 --> 00:11:21,307
To take me.

251
00:11:21,309 --> 00:11:24,848
I'm not taking you anywhere
till you put on a shirt.

252
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,389
Come on, Sheldon.
You and me right here.

253
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:32,079
Penny, for the thousandth time,

254
00:11:32,081 --> 00:11:35,234
I'm saving myself
for someone special.

255
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,207
Perhaps a cute
bespectacled neuroscientist

256
00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:42,717
with hair
the color of mud.

257
00:11:42,719 --> 00:11:45,355
I think I know how
to change your mind.

258
00:11:46,926 --> 00:11:48,479
That's enough.
Ew...

259
00:11:49,364 --> 00:11:51,735
I was okay with it.

260
00:11:56,045 --> 00:11:58,247
How's it going, Sheldon?

261
00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,668
Actually, much better.

262
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,170
Oh, good.
Is the baby born yet?

263
00:12:01,172 --> 00:12:03,324
I don't know. I just got back.

264
00:12:03,326 --> 00:12:04,393
Where'd you go?

265
00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:07,399
My mother asked me
to get some towels.

266
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:09,637
I took advantage
of the vague request

267
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:12,209
and went to Bed,
Bath & Beyond.

268
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:18,154
Excuse me! I'm on the phone!

269
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:22,563
So rude.

270
00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:25,920
Here's another one.
Penny,

271
00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:27,305
if it weren't for Sheldon,

272
00:12:27,307 --> 00:12:31,898
you never would have met
comic book legend Stan Lee.

273
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:35,288
Great.

274
00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:37,359
At least Leonard,

275
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:40,398
Howard and I would have
always been friends.

276
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,137
Hey, how come you three never
got an apartment together?

277
00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:45,374
We talked about it,
but Howard was in

278
00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:48,565
a pretty serious
relationship with his mom.

279
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:51,237
I lived with her to save money.

280
00:12:51,239 --> 00:12:52,623
Yeah, you didn't have
to buy groceries

281
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:53,659
'cause you were breast-feeding.

282
00:12:54,696 --> 00:12:58,000
Aw, so I guess
if it weren't for me,

283
00:12:58,002 --> 00:12:59,754
you'd still be living
with her, huh?

284
00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:01,758
Not exactly.

285
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,010
What do you mean, "not exactly"?

286
00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:06,250
Well, things would be
a little different.

287
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:09,256
Howard, where's my lunch?

288
00:13:09,258 --> 00:13:12,395
I'm starving!

289
00:13:12,397 --> 00:13:13,866
I know you're starving.

290
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:15,653
The neighbors know
you're starving.

291
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:18,942
There's starving people in
Africa who know you're starving!

292
00:13:20,831 --> 00:13:23,519
That's it?
There's not enough food!

293
00:13:23,521 --> 00:13:27,827
Well, you cleaned out Earth!
I don't know what else to do!

294
00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:31,083
How is this
any different?

295
00:13:31,085 --> 00:13:33,572
You didn't let me finish.

296
00:13:33,574 --> 00:13:36,076
Here you go, Mother.

297
00:13:36,078 --> 00:13:38,582
You're a good boy, Howard!

298
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:42,372
Such a good boy!

299
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:49,537
Wait... did she die
or did you kill her?

300
00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:55,315
Eh, tomato, tomahto. The
important thing is she's dead.

301
00:13:56,986 --> 00:14:00,074
Hey, so how come you two
didn't move in together?

302
00:14:00,076 --> 00:14:01,828
This guy wanted
a place of his own

303
00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:04,132
because he was sure he was
gonna be a ladies' man.

304
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:07,757
Yeah, I was wrong.

305
00:14:08,843 --> 00:14:11,681
But I do think you and I
would have had a great time.

306
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:14,571
Come on, Leonard, dinner.

307
00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:16,508
Coming.

308
00:14:25,292 --> 00:14:26,494
Hang on.

309
00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:28,180
Why would I be fat?

310
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,638
You'd have no girlfriend
to see you naked,

311
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,393
you'd try to fill the void
with food,

312
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,599
and I'm an enabler who once
deep-fried a pancake.

313
00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:40,321
Why can't you be fat, too?

314
00:14:41,909 --> 00:14:44,631
What do you want
to do for dessert?

315
00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:49,774
I think there's still
half a cake from breakfast.

316
00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,732
No, there's not.

317
00:14:58,493 --> 00:15:01,447
Hey, guys.

318
00:15:01,449 --> 00:15:03,367
Stuart.
Stuart.

319
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,371
What are you doing?

320
00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:07,258
I...

321
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:12,720
just wanted to be
in anyone's story.

322
00:15:12,722 --> 00:15:15,091
Yeah, but why are you fat?

323
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:19,650
'Cause Leonard was fat.

324
00:15:21,489 --> 00:15:23,124
Amy, what about you?

325
00:15:23,126 --> 00:15:25,328
What do you think you'd be doing
if you never met Sheldon?

326
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:27,466
It's hard to say,

327
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,721
my life would be
so... different.

328
00:15:29,723 --> 00:15:33,377
You can say "better."
Sheldon can't hear you.

329
00:15:34,648 --> 00:15:36,050
I don't know.

330
00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:13,592
I'll stop now.

331
00:16:17,099 --> 00:16:18,685
How's it going, Sheldon?

332
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,137
That's it.

333
00:16:20,139 --> 00:16:21,908
The baby's here.

334
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:22,976
It's a boy.

335
00:16:22,978 --> 00:16:24,780
Congrats.
Aw. - Yay.

336
00:16:24,782 --> 00:16:26,501
Oh, thank you.

337
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,821
I wasn't sure I was
gonna to make it.

338
00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:33,515
But my mother
gave me some ice chips,

339
00:16:33,517 --> 00:16:35,552
my sister told me to breathe.

340
00:16:35,554 --> 00:16:37,506
And I just thought
to myself, "Sheldon,

341
00:16:37,508 --> 00:16:39,694
"if you can make it through
the Green Lantern movie,

342
00:16:39,696 --> 00:16:41,847
you can make it through this."

343
00:16:41,849 --> 00:16:44,219
Well, good
for you, buddy.

344
00:16:44,221 --> 00:16:45,672
We'll let you
get back in there.

345
00:16:45,674 --> 00:16:47,626
Oh no, no, I'm not
going back in there.

346
00:16:47,628 --> 00:16:50,364
That baby is so irritating.

347
00:16:50,366 --> 00:16:53,638
He has literally been
crying his entire life.

348
00:16:54,841 --> 00:16:57,780
Aw, he's already taking
after Uncle Shelly.

349
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:00,903
Come on, Sheldon, you should go.

350
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:02,071
Why?

351
00:17:02,073 --> 00:17:04,009
Well, you always
complain that you never

352
00:17:04,011 --> 00:17:06,079
had an intelligent
role model growing up,

353
00:17:06,081 --> 00:17:08,317
and now you can
be one for your nephew.

354
00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:12,543
Ugh, all right, I'll go.

355
00:17:13,496 --> 00:17:15,515
But from what I've seen,
his attention span

356
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,970
is as limited
as his bladder control.

357
00:17:19,307 --> 00:17:21,226
You actually
got him to do it.

358
00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:22,428
Yeah, you keep saying

359
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,149
how much Sheldon has
affected all of us,

360
00:17:24,151 --> 00:17:26,537
but you've clearly
had an impact on him.

361
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:28,157
If that were true,

362
00:17:28,159 --> 00:17:30,127
I wouldn't still
be living alone.

363
00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:31,446
Well, not exactly alone.

364
00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:33,718
I do have a 50 pound
sack of rice

365
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,591
with one of Sheldon's
T-shirts on it.

366
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:42,402
I'm telling you, Sheldon cares
for you more than you think.

367
00:17:42,404 --> 00:17:44,973
I wish I could believe you.

368
00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:47,680
I also wish there wasn't a mouse
living in Rice Sheldon.

369
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,539
Hang on, I'm gonna
give you a little

370
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,827
early Christmas
present.

371
00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:57,382
I'm gonna show you something,
but if you ever told Sheldon

372
00:17:57,384 --> 00:17:59,302
he'd probably never
speak to me again.

373
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:01,891
So, if you want to
tell him, that's fine.

374
00:18:01,893 --> 00:18:03,978
Look.

375
00:18:06,735 --> 00:18:09,122
I don't understand.

376
00:18:09,124 --> 00:18:11,544
He made you
his screensaver.

377
00:18:12,697 --> 00:18:14,500
Oh.

378
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:15,635
Wow.

379
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,842
I had no idea.

380
00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:21,481
He is so into me.

381
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:24,837
Wait, wait,

382
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:25,889
where'd I go?

383
00:18:25,891 --> 00:18:28,243
Oh, well, it's
you, Swamp Thing,

384
00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:29,279
Stephen Hawking,
Spider-Man...

385
00:18:29,281 --> 00:18:31,751
but, look, you're
in the mix.

386
00:18:31,753 --> 00:18:34,071
I am in the mix.

387
00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:36,042
And I'm the hottest one.

388
00:18:36,044 --> 00:18:37,295
Who's that?

389
00:18:37,297 --> 00:18:39,048
Oh, Madame C.

390
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,219
That's fine, she's dead.

391
00:18:53,712 --> 00:18:55,414
You okay?

392
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,621
Just really glad
you're back.

393
00:18:58,623 --> 00:19:00,257
Me, too.

394
00:19:01,345 --> 00:19:03,965
I got a lot of TV
to catch up on.

395
00:19:09,828 --> 00:19:11,914
I missed you.

396
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:15,454
To quote Han Solo,
"I know"

397
00:19:19,162 --> 00:19:21,099
Did you miss me?

398
00:19:21,101 --> 00:19:23,688
I would've preferred
to have you there with me.

399
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:25,391
Oh.

400
00:19:25,393 --> 00:19:27,228
Or instead of me.

401
00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:31,904
Did you hold the baby?

402
00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:33,491
I did.

403
00:19:33,493 --> 00:19:34,994
And?

404
00:19:34,996 --> 00:19:37,381
How did it make you feel?

405
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,670
Looking into the
blank, innocent eyes

406
00:19:39,672 --> 00:19:41,841
of a creature that
couldn't begin to comprehend

407
00:19:41,843 --> 00:19:43,544
anything I was saying?

408
00:19:43,546 --> 00:19:46,399
Basically just
another day at the office.

409
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,789
I'm gonna do it.

410
00:19:56,791 --> 00:19:58,425
I'm gonna ask her out.

411
00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:04,170
Yeah, and chocolate milk is
gonna squirt out of my nipples.

412
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:07,844
Put up or shut up.
You make it, I'll drink it.

413
00:20:12,989 --> 00:20:14,374
You guys need anything else?
Uh,

414
00:20:14,376 --> 00:20:16,829
your phone number
and one more cheesecake.

415
00:20:19,502 --> 00:20:21,137
I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.

416
00:20:21,139 --> 00:20:23,977
In fact, there
he is now.

417
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,308
Ready to go, sweetheart?

418
00:20:34,309 --> 00:20:36,562
Not until I get
my kiss.

419
00:20:52,262 --> 00:20:57,267
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man