1
00:00:02,268 --> 00:00:04,200
T-minus 60 seconds!

2
00:00:04,202 --> 00:00:06,267
Oh, it all comes
down to this!

3
00:00:06,269 --> 00:00:08,766
Oh, I've got
butterflies.

4
00:00:08,768 --> 00:00:10,149
Don't get soft on me,
Hofstadter.

5
00:00:10,151 --> 00:00:12,500
I will slap those glasses
right off your face.

6
00:00:13,901 --> 00:00:16,333
What's going on?

7
00:00:16,335 --> 00:00:18,950
Hey. We're about
to buy tickets for Comic-Con.

8
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,534
Oh.

9
00:00:20,536 --> 00:00:22,000
T Minus 45 seconds!

10
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:23,300
They sell out incredibly
fast, but as long

11
00:00:23,302 --> 00:00:25,166
- as one of us gets in, we can buy passes...
- Good Lord,

12
00:00:25,168 --> 00:00:27,407
this is not the time for
flirting! Keep it in your pants!

13
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:31,483
It's a whole lot
of weird before coffee.

14
00:00:32,501 --> 00:00:34,367
T-minus 30 seconds!

15
00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:36,699
Oh, I have to go
to the bathroom so bad.

16
00:00:36,701 --> 00:00:38,650
Every year!
I told you, wear a diaper!

17
00:00:38,652 --> 00:00:40,833
And I told you
I get diaper rash!

18
00:00:40,835 --> 00:00:41,699
15 seconds!

19
00:00:41,701 --> 00:00:42,950
Oh, this is it!

20
00:00:42,952 --> 00:00:44,483
This is it!

21
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:48,316
This is it.

22
00:00:48,318 --> 00:00:49,716
Five,

23
00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:51,650
four, three,

24
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,116
two, one.

25
00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:54,634
It's live. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

26
00:01:01,034 --> 00:01:02,584
Anyone in?

27
00:01:02,586 --> 00:01:04,367
No!
Not yet! Nope!

28
00:01:05,484 --> 00:01:07,450
Do not stop
refreshing your screens!

29
00:01:07,452 --> 00:01:09,417
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

30
00:01:09,419 --> 00:01:10,316
Refresh.

31
00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:11,483
Refresh. Refresh.

32
00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:13,316
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh...

33
00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:16,649
Yeah, this is not
gonna be enough coffee.

34
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,816
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

35
00:01:42,971 --> 00:01:47,966
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

36
00:01:47,969 --> 00:01:51,751
Refresh... Refresh... Refresh...

37
00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:54,318
Refresh... Refresh...

38
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,918
Refresh.
Refresh.

39
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,135
Refresh.

40
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:58,734
Refresh. It's been ten minutes!

41
00:01:58,736 --> 00:02:00,135
We're running out of time.

42
00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:02,452
To be cool? Yeah.

43
00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:04,784
I did it! I did it!
I'm in the queue!

44
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,801
And they say firefighters
are the real heroes.

45
00:02:09,602 --> 00:02:12,251
Uh, what number
in line are you?

46
00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:13,751
Uh, 15...
Great!

47
00:02:13,753 --> 00:02:14,968
thousand, 211.

48
00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:17,185
Damn!
Oh!

49
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:19,851
Oh, they only have Thursday
and Sunday passes left.

50
00:02:19,853 --> 00:02:20,458
Really?

51
00:02:20,483 --> 00:02:22,082
Oh, Thursday's gone.
Just Sunday left.

52
00:02:22,853 --> 00:02:24,218
Oh, Sunday's the worst!

53
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:27,218
Everybody's leaving, most
of the good panels are over,

54
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:31,018
and the only T-shirts they have
left are small and XXXXL:

55
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,518
Sunday's gone.

56
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,568
Not Sunday! I love Sunday!

57
00:02:38,769 --> 00:02:41,634
So that's it?
Everything's sold out?

58
00:02:41,636 --> 00:02:44,118
Yeah.

59
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,335
I can't believe we're not going.

60
00:02:47,337 --> 00:02:49,918
It's okay.

61
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,935
You know, there-there's always
WonderCon in Anaheim, you know?

62
00:02:53,937 --> 00:02:56,251
That-That's just as good.

63
00:02:57,519 --> 00:02:59,135
Excuse me.

64
00:03:05,535 --> 00:03:08,035
Oh, guys, this is really sad.

65
00:03:08,037 --> 00:03:12,118
And in a different way
than it was 20 minutes ago.

66
00:03:13,503 --> 00:03:18,018
I can't believe we wasted all
that time on our Hulk costumes.

67
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:19,851
What? You were all going
as the Hulk?

68
00:03:19,853 --> 00:03:21,135
Not the same Hulk.

69
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:24,618
Ferrigno, Bana,
Norton and Ruffalo.

70
00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,751
We would have been
the angry green belles

71
00:03:27,753 --> 00:03:30,352
of the masquerade ball.

72
00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:32,235
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

73
00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:36,651
And we're back
to the first kind of sad.

74
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:43,684
Gentlemen, I have the solution
to our Comic-Con problem.

75
00:03:43,686 --> 00:03:45,435
We don't need them.

76
00:03:45,437 --> 00:03:47,568
I'm starting my own convention.

77
00:03:49,719 --> 00:03:52,302
Sheldon, just buy
scalped tickets with us.

78
00:03:52,304 --> 00:03:55,684
I told you. Buying scalped
tickets is against the rules.

79
00:03:55,686 --> 00:03:57,468
If you get caught,
you get

80
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,418
banned from Comic-Con for life.

81
00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,935
Life, Leonard.

82
00:04:00,937 --> 00:04:03,185
You're gonna feel pretty silly
when we're 80 years old,

83
00:04:03,187 --> 00:04:05,101
and you have
to drive me down there

84
00:04:05,103 --> 00:04:07,251
and then wait in the car
for three days.

85
00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:08,851
Do what you want.

86
00:04:08,853 --> 00:04:10,352
We're getting
scalped tickets.

87
00:04:10,354 --> 00:04:12,968
Oh, I already found a guy online
who's willing to sell.

88
00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:15,467
How do you know
this isn't a sting operation

89
00:04:15,469 --> 00:04:18,584
set up by the Comic-Con police?

90
00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,018
The same way I know

91
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,901
that the people
in the TV set can't see me.

92
00:04:24,052 --> 00:04:25,251
Sheldon,
just come with us.

93
00:04:25,253 --> 00:04:26,634
You're not gonna make
your own convention.

94
00:04:26,636 --> 00:04:28,185
You know, there was a time

95
00:04:28,187 --> 00:04:31,418
when Comic-Con didn't exist
at all until one lone dreamer

96
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,851
with a unique vision
made it happen.

97
00:04:33,853 --> 00:04:37,435
And you mark my words...
I'm gonna rip that guy off.

98
00:04:39,802 --> 00:04:43,601
Yes, I'm starting
my own comic book convention,

99
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:47,885
and I thought that your client,
Robert Downey Jr., would be

100
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,885
perfect to appear
on our first panel.

101
00:04:50,887 --> 00:04:53,084
Oh, well, now,
why are you saying "no"?

102
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,101
You haven't even
asked him yet.

103
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:56,935
You know, excuse me,

104
00:04:56,937 --> 00:04:58,268
but I sat through Iron Man 2.

105
00:04:58,270 --> 00:05:00,801
I believe he owes me two hours
of his time.

106
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,634
They hung up on me.

107
00:05:08,602 --> 00:05:10,684
Did you tell them that
you're holding your convention

108
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:11,885
at a Marie Callender's,

109
00:05:11,887 --> 00:05:15,168
and that every panelist
gets a free slice of pie?

110
00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:18,051
I didn't even get to that part.

111
00:05:18,053 --> 00:05:19,768
Look, even your friend
Wil Wheaton thinks

112
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,101
this is a
waste of time.

113
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,517
Not true.

114
00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:24,352
Wil thinks
this is a great idea.

115
00:05:24,354 --> 00:05:27,302
He was just concerned that
he wasn't a big enough celebrity

116
00:05:27,304 --> 00:05:29,252
to headline
such an amazing event.

117
00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:33,401
Also, that's the same day
that he shampoos his beard.

118
00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,384
Sheldon, buddy,
I just don't think

119
00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:37,434
this is going
to come together for you.

120
00:05:37,436 --> 00:05:38,968
You don't know that.

121
00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:41,751
I still have plenty
of solid leads on this list.

122
00:05:41,753 --> 00:05:43,751
- Good luck.
- No, wait.

123
00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:46,251
I need you to call Stan Lee,
Leonard Nimoy

124
00:05:46,253 --> 00:05:48,985
and Bill Nye the Science Guy...

125
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:51,467
'cause, legally,
I'm not allowed to.

126
00:05:51,469 --> 00:05:52,601
Oh, and, also,

127
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,801
Carrie Fisher, you know,

128
00:05:53,803 --> 00:05:56,051
'cause I hear
she can be pretty nuts.

129
00:05:58,468 --> 00:05:59,701
I can't believe

130
00:05:59,703 --> 00:06:02,084
Leonard is spending hundreds
of dollars on scalped tickets.

131
00:06:02,086 --> 00:06:05,417
Last week, you spent that
on a little dress.

132
00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:07,551
Yeah, but those tickets
only get him into Comic-Con.

133
00:06:07,553 --> 00:06:10,568
That dress gets me
into anywhere I want.

134
00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:13,885
Those tickets
were pretty expensive.

135
00:06:13,887 --> 00:06:16,718
I had to give Howie an advance
on his allowance.

136
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,684
Now he's never gonna
put his toys away.

137
00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:23,834
Why can't they do
something sensible

138
00:06:23,836 --> 00:06:26,634
like Sheldon and start their
own comic book convention?

139
00:06:27,569 --> 00:06:30,551
Also, who wants
to throw me out that window?

140
00:06:30,553 --> 00:06:34,084
Oh, while they're acting
like teenagers,

141
00:06:34,086 --> 00:06:35,417
we could do something grown-up.

142
00:06:35,419 --> 00:06:37,185
Oh. You mean like a museum?

143
00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:40,918
Yes, like a museum,
but anything else.

144
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,985
Oh, I know.

145
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,084
There's a nice hotel
not far from here

146
00:06:45,086 --> 00:06:46,384
where they do
afternoon tea.

147
00:06:46,386 --> 00:06:49,084
Ooh, afternoon tea...
how sophisticated of us.

148
00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:51,051
Oh, all right,
if we're gonna be fancy,

149
00:06:51,053 --> 00:06:53,051
I should probably put on
clean underwear.

150
00:06:53,053 --> 00:06:54,434
La-dee-da!

151
00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:56,235
Look who has
clean underwear.

152
00:06:56,237 --> 00:06:57,901
No, we're gonna stop at Target
on the way.

153
00:07:00,952 --> 00:07:03,334
Hey, since Sheldon's
not going to Comic-Con,

154
00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:05,718
maybe we could find a cool trio
to dress up as.

155
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,935
What if we go as The Fantastic
Four, and just tell people

156
00:07:08,937 --> 00:07:12,517
that the Invisible Girl
is standing there with us.

157
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,268
Oh, and I thought our days
of pretending

158
00:07:14,270 --> 00:07:16,434
to be with women
who don't exist were over.

159
00:07:18,052 --> 00:07:20,417
Gentlemen,
I am one step away

160
00:07:20,419 --> 00:07:23,701
from securing a huge guest
for my convention.

161
00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,035
Does that step
include chloroform

162
00:07:25,037 --> 00:07:27,517
and a roll of duct tape?

163
00:07:27,519 --> 00:07:29,267
I don't think that
will be necessary

164
00:07:29,269 --> 00:07:31,051
for Mr. James Earl Jones.

165
00:07:31,053 --> 00:07:32,085
You heard me.

166
00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:33,517
The voice of Darth Vader,

167
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,084
the Lion King's dad,

168
00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:39,568
and FYI, the guy who says,
"This is CNN."

169
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,484
Which also sounds
like Darth Vader.

170
00:07:44,802 --> 00:07:47,367
How are you gonna get
James Earl Jones?

171
00:07:47,369 --> 00:07:49,968
Simple.
Earlier today, he Tweeted

172
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,351
that he's looking forward

173
00:07:51,353 --> 00:07:53,584
to going to his favorite
sushi restaurant for dinner.

174
00:07:53,586 --> 00:07:56,267
I Googled an interview
from four years ago

175
00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:59,634
which was conducted in
his favorite sushi restaurant.

176
00:07:59,636 --> 00:08:03,384
That's where he'll be, and
that's where I'm going, and...

177
00:08:03,386 --> 00:08:04,634
And that's where

178
00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:06,901
Darth Vader's gonna pour
soy sauce on your head.

179
00:08:08,502 --> 00:08:10,951
Sheldon, I don't care if you get
scalped tickets with us or not,

180
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:14,018
but please don't be creepy
and go stalking this poor guy.

181
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:15,351
You're gonna get in trouble.

182
00:08:15,353 --> 00:08:17,551
You're the ones
who are going to get in trouble.

183
00:08:17,553 --> 00:08:20,084
You're buying
non-transferable tickets.

184
00:08:20,086 --> 00:08:21,885
And from a stranger, no less.

185
00:08:21,887 --> 00:08:24,234
Not only can you get
banned from Comic-Con,

186
00:08:24,236 --> 00:08:26,968
if caught, you could be charged
with petty theft.

187
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,634
You think about that while
I'm warning James Earl Jones

188
00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:32,551
out the danger of posting
his location on Twitter.

189
00:08:33,402 --> 00:08:35,018
He got lucky this time.

190
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:38,018
There are some weirdoes
out there.

191
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:53,018
Forgot my keys.
♪ Bom, bom

192
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,000
Okay, great. Bye.

193
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,449
Our friendly
neighborhood scalper

194
00:09:07,451 --> 00:09:08,750
says he's running late.

195
00:09:08,752 --> 00:09:11,249
Does he sound like a criminal?

196
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,466
What do you mean?

197
00:09:13,468 --> 00:09:15,133
You know,
did he say things like,

198
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:20,000
"Youse guys,"
or "Listen here, see?"

199
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,216
Yes. He-He's late

200
00:09:23,218 --> 00:09:26,399
because he's on his way here
from 1940.

201
00:09:26,401 --> 00:09:28,282
I'm just saying.

202
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:29,549
We don't know
who this guy is.

203
00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:31,800
What if he wants to steal
our money or our kidneys,

204
00:09:31,802 --> 00:09:34,282
or make a suit out
of our skins?

205
00:09:34,284 --> 00:09:38,067
Why would someone want to make
clothes out of your skin?

206
00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:39,416
I don't know.

207
00:09:39,418 --> 00:09:41,700
Maybe 'cause
dark doesn't show the stains?

208
00:09:42,534 --> 00:09:44,299
Well, now
you're making me wonder

209
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,750
if we should have met him
at a neutral location.

210
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,716
Why do you think I told him
to come to your place?

211
00:09:57,584 --> 00:10:00,733
There sure are a lot
of little kids here.

212
00:10:00,735 --> 00:10:02,833
I can't believe we thought this
would makes us feel grown up.

213
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:05,649
I can't believe the waiter
thought I was your daughter.

214
00:10:07,550 --> 00:10:11,299
Well, last time I got dressed up
and had tea was when I was five.

215
00:10:11,301 --> 00:10:14,766
Just me, my teddy bear,
Raggedy Ann and my hamster.

216
00:10:14,768 --> 00:10:16,332
- That's cute.
- It was.

217
00:10:16,334 --> 00:10:19,166
Till my hamster ate
all her babies.

218
00:10:21,018 --> 00:10:24,766
It got less cute really fast.

219
00:10:24,768 --> 00:10:26,383
Should we leave?

220
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:27,883
Well, there's a bar
in the lobby.

221
00:10:27,885 --> 00:10:29,282
I could go for a drink.

222
00:10:29,284 --> 00:10:31,750
Aw. Drinking in the afternoon,
just like her mommy.

223
00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:47,132
Let me guess.

224
00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:51,082
You like Star Wars.

225
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:57,132
You know, I've been
in other movies.

226
00:10:59,051 --> 00:11:01,983
But you don't care
about those, do you?

227
00:11:09,617 --> 00:11:12,633
I have one thing to say
to people like you...

228
00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:16,800
I like Star Wars, too!

229
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:20,033
Care to join me?

230
00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:22,466
Oh... thank you.

231
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,082
My friend Leonard said
if I bothered you

232
00:11:26,084 --> 00:11:28,883
while you were eating, you'd
think I was a creepy stalker.

233
00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:30,166
Well...

234
00:11:30,168 --> 00:11:34,082
your friend Leonard sounds
like a real weenie.

235
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:39,783
He is, Mr. Earl Jones, he is.

236
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:45,566
Okay, so, I'm
on a Comic-Con message board,

237
00:11:45,568 --> 00:11:47,800
and there's a post from a guy

238
00:11:47,802 --> 00:11:50,649
where he says he got caught
using someone else's badge...

239
00:11:50,651 --> 00:11:53,649
and Sheldon was right... he did
get charged with petty theft.

240
00:11:53,651 --> 00:11:56,866
Guys... if I go to jail
dressed as the Human Torch,

241
00:11:56,868 --> 00:11:59,232
that might send
the wrong message.

242
00:12:02,268 --> 00:12:04,633
Maybe this isn't
a good idea.

243
00:12:04,635 --> 00:12:08,483
I can text the guy and tell him
we changed our minds.

244
00:12:08,485 --> 00:12:10,483
Do it.

245
00:12:10,485 --> 00:12:11,999
Okay.

246
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:15,383
We're officially
not going to Comic-Con.

247
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,616
Hold on.
We always do this.

248
00:12:19,618 --> 00:12:20,800
Do what?

249
00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:22,616
Chicken out.
We're-we're so afraid

250
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:25,966
of getting into trouble that
we never do anything wrong.

251
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:27,332
That's 'cause
we're the good guys.

252
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:29,115
Even Batman breaks the rules.

253
00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:31,549
You know I struggle with Batman.

254
00:12:32,851 --> 00:12:35,949
I-I say, this one time,
instead of wimping out,

255
00:12:35,951 --> 00:12:37,900
let's be badasses!

256
00:12:37,902 --> 00:12:40,332
Okay, I'll be a badass...

257
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:43,783
but only if you pinky-swear
to be one, too.

258
00:12:44,584 --> 00:12:46,499
Howard, you in on this?

259
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:49,916
No need. I'm breaking rules
all the time.

260
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:51,499
Name one.

261
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,833
Last night.

262
00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:56,049
Drank my Pepto
straight out of the bottle.

263
00:12:57,784 --> 00:12:59,948
What about that little
cup they give you?

264
00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:01,750
Yeah.

265
00:13:01,752 --> 00:13:04,249
What about it?

266
00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:08,499
A-Are you
impressed by that?

267
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:10,816
- A little.
- Yeah, me, too.

268
00:13:13,384 --> 00:13:17,115
You know, when I first read the
script for Empire Strikes Back

269
00:13:17,117 --> 00:13:19,999
and Darth Vader told Luke
he was his father...

270
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,750
I thought for sure
he was lying.

271
00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:24,549
Me, too!

272
00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:26,499
But he wasn't, was he?

273
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,216
He was not!

274
00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:31,049
How messed up was that?

275
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:33,633
So messed up.

276
00:13:33,635 --> 00:13:36,166
What do you say
let's go have some fun?

277
00:13:36,168 --> 00:13:37,249
My wife's
in New York,

278
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:39,750
and I got a Lion King
residual check

279
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,750
burning a hole in my pocket.

280
00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:47,199
So, afternoon tea
was a bust.

281
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,166
On the bright side,
every six-year-old there

282
00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:52,332
was jealous of my tiara.

283
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:55,999
Not gonna lie...
it felt good.

284
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,449
Let me ask you a question:

285
00:13:57,451 --> 00:13:59,499
When did you guys
start feeling grown up?

286
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:01,132
'Cause I am not sure I do.

287
00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:03,948
Honestly, I thought when
I got married I would,

288
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:06,282
but I still kind of feel
like I'm pretending.

289
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:09,833
It doesn't help that most of
my clothes come from Gap Kids.

290
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,833
Okay, so I'm an adult,

291
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:16,049
and the other day I saw
an old man slip and fall down,

292
00:14:16,051 --> 00:14:17,666
and I laughed.

293
00:14:17,668 --> 00:14:20,199
I mean, I laughed hard.

294
00:14:20,201 --> 00:14:21,499
Like-like,

295
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:23,082
out loud.

296
00:14:23,084 --> 00:14:25,982
If he was conscious,
he would've heard me.

297
00:14:25,984 --> 00:14:27,965
- Oh, my gosh.
- I know.

298
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,948
One of the tennis balls
came off his walker

299
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:32,915
and bounced right off his head.
I mean...

300
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:36,132
I... I almost wet myself.

301
00:14:37,217 --> 00:14:40,750
I guess you had to be there.

302
00:14:40,752 --> 00:14:42,132
I think I have
you both beat.

303
00:14:42,134 --> 00:14:43,583
Imagine trying to feel
like a grown-up

304
00:14:43,585 --> 00:14:45,166
when you've never
even been with a man.

305
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:47,700
Okay, sex is not
what makes you a grown-up.

306
00:14:47,702 --> 00:14:51,948
Yeah. Or you'd be
the oldest one here.

307
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,466
Really?

308
00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:56,783
Is that how you talk
to your mother?

309
00:14:59,883 --> 00:15:01,282
He just parked.
He's on his way up.

310
00:15:01,284 --> 00:15:02,948
Good. This is exciting.

311
00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:05,032
- It is. I feel alive.
- Yeah.

312
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,082
What if we do get caught;
who cares?

313
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:08,466
So we get banned from Comic-Con.

314
00:15:08,468 --> 00:15:10,383
- Maybe slapped with a fine.
- Oh, no.

315
00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:12,332
I'll be an astronaut
and a bad boy...

316
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:15,166
how will women
keep their pants on?

317
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:19,249
Uh, maybe it'll come up when
I apply for citizenship.

318
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,683
Oh, crap, what if it comes up
when I apply for citizenship?

319
00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:25,132
I wonder if we'd have
to disclose something like this

320
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:26,616
when we apply for grants.

321
00:15:26,618 --> 00:15:29,249
He's gonna be here any second...
what should we do?

322
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:31,299
You guys are such babies.

323
00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:33,082
I'll handle this.

324
00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:36,166
If he thinks we're not home,
he'll go away.

325
00:15:38,668 --> 00:15:40,032
I thought you
were a badass.

326
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:44,182
I lied about the Pepto...
I always use the little cup!

327
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:53,082
Is it true, as a child,
you were a stutterer

328
00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:56,216
and were functionally
mute for eight years?

329
00:15:56,218 --> 00:15:57,832
- It is true.
- Oh.

330
00:15:57,834 --> 00:16:01,166
Is it true they
used scuba gear

331
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,965
to create the sound of
Darth Vader breathing?

332
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:06,199
- They sure did.
- Oh.

333
00:16:06,201 --> 00:16:10,299
Is it true that you
were premed in college

334
00:16:10,301 --> 00:16:12,449
and you almost
became a doctor?

335
00:16:12,451 --> 00:16:13,616
That's right.

336
00:16:13,618 --> 00:16:15,466
Oh, James!

337
00:16:15,468 --> 00:16:19,249
I could listen
to your stories all night.

338
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,882
I mean, really, what's
so great about being grown up?

339
00:16:30,884 --> 00:16:34,799
Well, for starters, we'd be
splitting this check three ways.

340
00:16:35,949 --> 00:16:38,332
I'm serious.
Who wants to do all that stuff?

341
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:40,549
Have insurance, pay mortgages,

342
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:44,383
leave one of those little notes
when you hit a parked car.

343
00:16:44,385 --> 00:16:47,332
I told you
it was Penny.

344
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,666
Oh, come on, it wasn't me.

345
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:50,749
Anyone could have knocked
your mirror off...

346
00:16:50,751 --> 00:16:53,049
or whatever happened.

347
00:16:54,617 --> 00:16:56,616
Maybe the guys
are right.

348
00:16:56,618 --> 00:16:59,332
I mean, we spent the whole
night trying to be mature,

349
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:00,882
and it was kind of boring.

350
00:17:00,884 --> 00:17:03,166
I'm sure they're having
more fun than we are.

351
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:06,666
Oh, God, I could really use

352
00:17:06,668 --> 00:17:09,332
exactly two tablespoons
of Pepto right now.

353
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:21,666
Hey, Los Angeles!

354
00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:25,082
I'm on a Ferris wheel
with Darth Vader!

355
00:17:25,084 --> 00:17:28,383
And he's nicer than you think!

356
00:17:29,384 --> 00:17:31,416
I am!

357
00:17:41,418 --> 00:17:42,583
Bring it home, Mufasa.

358
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,115
I don't understand
what we're doing.

359
00:17:54,117 --> 00:17:55,249
Shh.

360
00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:57,299
Whose house is that?

361
00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:58,782
Carrie Fisher.

362
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:00,999
And she's a little crazy,

363
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,449
so get ready to run.

364
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:19,882
It's not funny anymore, James!

365
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,566
Then why am I laughing!

366
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,366
Ah, Sheldon, this
is the perfect end

367
00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:36,499
to a perfect night.

368
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,449
Okay.

369
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,882
Yeah, but I think

370
00:18:40,884 --> 00:18:44,166
it could have ended
with the karaoke.

371
00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:48,016
What were you trying to ask me
at the strip club?

372
00:18:48,018 --> 00:18:49,449
Oh.

373
00:18:49,451 --> 00:18:53,132
How much does it cost
to get them off my lap?

374
00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:55,682
No. Something
about a convention.

375
00:18:55,684 --> 00:18:58,182
Oh, right!
Well...

376
00:18:58,184 --> 00:19:01,216
my friends and I couldn't
get into Comic-Con this year,

377
00:19:01,218 --> 00:19:03,965
and I was trying to start
my own convention,

378
00:19:03,967 --> 00:19:05,383
and I was going

379
00:19:05,385 --> 00:19:07,915
to ask if you
would be a panelist.

380
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:11,232
Why don't you and your friends
come to Comic-Con with me?

381
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:13,182
- Really?
- Of course.

382
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:15,332
And San Diego is
right across the border

383
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:17,632
from my favorite city on Earth,

384
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,282
Tijuana...

385
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:24,999
where I'm taking you
every night!

386
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:28,565
Ay-yi-yi.

387
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:32,332
Ay-yi-yi, bang-bang.

388
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:43,195
So, Beau Bridges
is on my shoulders,

389
00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:46,961
and Jeff Bridges is
on Marlon Brando's shoulders,

390
00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:50,561
and remember, we do not have
permission to be in the pool...

391
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:52,844
Hey! Sheldon, wake up!

392
00:19:52,846 --> 00:19:54,011
And...

393
00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:56,644
Angie Dickinson is
about to sic the dogs on us,

394
00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:59,145
and I go under the water and
Marlon goes under the water,

395
00:19:59,147 --> 00:20:01,111
and the water raises
about two feet

396
00:20:01,113 --> 00:20:02,894
and sloshes all
over her patio,

397
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,855
and the dogs freak out
and run like hell, and

398
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,362
then we run like hell...

399
00:20:06,363 --> 00:20:08,178
Oh, boy!

400
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,178
That was a lot of fun.

401
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:13,611
Uh... who's Angie Dickinson?

402
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:18,608
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man