1
00:00:01,643 --> 00:00:03,243
Yeah, he has
a very sensitive butt.

2
00:00:05,813 --> 00:00:07,113
Well, it's true.

3
00:00:07,115 --> 00:00:10,517
Once I saw him sit on a bunch
of loose change and add it up.

4
00:00:11,986 --> 00:00:13,119
Have you heard from Howard?

5
00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:15,355
I did.
His talk at NASA went great.

6
00:00:15,357 --> 00:00:16,589
Sheldon didn't heckle him?

7
00:00:16,591 --> 00:00:18,258
No, in fact, he was
so well-behaved,

8
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,959
Howie bought him
a Buzz Aldrin bobble head

9
00:00:19,961 --> 00:00:21,261
and astronaut ice cream.

10
00:00:22,497 --> 00:00:23,863
Hey, guys.

11
00:00:23,865 --> 00:00:25,165
Oh, hi. - Hi, Stewart.
Hey, Stewart!

12
00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:27,033
How's it going?
Good.

13
00:00:27,035 --> 00:00:29,669
Sheldon's out of town,
so we can do whatever we want.

14
00:00:29,671 --> 00:00:31,805
We even ordered from
the Thai place he doesn't like.

15
00:00:31,807 --> 00:00:32,939
Oh, how is it?

16
00:00:32,941 --> 00:00:34,974
Disgusting. Do not tell him.

17
00:00:35,976 --> 00:00:37,444
What do you guys want
to do tonight?

18
00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:38,511
I don't know.

19
00:00:38,513 --> 00:00:40,080
Well, I told Howie
if I wasn't busy,

20
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,681
I'd spend the night
at his mom's.

21
00:00:41,683 --> 00:00:43,950
So for God's sake,
think of something.

22
00:00:46,521 --> 00:00:47,821
Stuart?

23
00:00:47,823 --> 00:00:48,855
Are you okay?

24
00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:51,224
No, I don't feel so...

25
00:00:51,226 --> 00:00:52,892
Oh, Stuart?
Stuart?

26
00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:54,794
Oh, my God,
you guys need to do something!

27
00:00:54,796 --> 00:00:56,863
Stuart?
Calling 911.

28
00:00:56,865 --> 00:00:58,998
Well, it's too late.
What do you mean it's too late?

29
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,235
He's been murdered
by someone in this room.

30
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,139
Oh, my God.
Oh, come on!

31
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:07,674
Welcome to another classic

32
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:11,511
Koothrappali
murder mystery dinner.

33
00:01:11,513 --> 00:01:12,579
I'm leaving.

34
00:01:12,581 --> 00:01:14,981
You can't leave.

35
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,649
You're a suspect in
the mysterious murder

36
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,685
of Stuart Bloom.

37
00:01:20,856 --> 00:01:23,256
I didn't know his
last name was Bloom.

38
00:01:23,258 --> 00:01:25,625
Yeah, it's Bloom.

39
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:26,860
Are you really gonna
lie on the floor

40
00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,228
and pretend
to be dead all night?

41
00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:30,430
What do you think
I was gonna do at home?

42
00:01:56,271 --> 00:02:01,271
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

43
00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:03,565
Are you gonna make us pretend
to be a bunch of lame characters

44
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,267
with silly accents?

45
00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:08,236
"Lame characters
with silly ac..."

46
00:02:08,238 --> 00:02:10,939
What kind of actress are you?

47
00:02:13,042 --> 00:02:14,309
You're right, I'm sorry.

48
00:02:14,311 --> 00:02:16,812
It... sounds like fun.
Thank you.

49
00:02:16,814 --> 00:02:18,547
That kind of actress.
This sucks!

50
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:21,617
Come on, guys.

51
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,784
Raj put a lot of
effort into this.

52
00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:23,819
And that's great.

53
00:02:23,821 --> 00:02:27,122
It's not sad, it's great.

54
00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,057
I think it might be fun
to be someone else tonight.

55
00:02:29,059 --> 00:02:30,692
Actually, you're all just
gonna be yourselves.

56
00:02:30,694 --> 00:02:32,494
Oh... ugh.

57
00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:35,297
All right,
if I'm doing this,

58
00:02:35,299 --> 00:02:37,232
I'm playing to win,
so just to be clear:

59
00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:39,635
If we're ourselves, that means
one of us killed Stuart?

60
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,736
Very good, Bernadette.

61
00:02:40,738 --> 00:02:43,271
You are a regular
Byomkesh Bakshi.

62
00:02:43,273 --> 00:02:46,475
What is that, like,
the Indian Sherlock Holmes?

63
00:02:46,477 --> 00:02:50,379
Or is Sherlock Holmes
the English Byomkesh Bakshi?

64
00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:53,682
According to Wikipedia,
Sherlock Holmes came first.

65
00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:56,551
Great, everyone's
a Byomkesh Bakshi.

66
00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:58,587
Now... here are

67
00:02:58,589 --> 00:03:00,989
some secret facts

68
00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:02,324
about each of you,

69
00:03:02,326 --> 00:03:05,260
including whether
you are the murderer.

70
00:03:05,262 --> 00:03:06,628
Throughout the game, feel free

71
00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:09,064
to ask each other questions
to uncover clues.

72
00:03:09,066 --> 00:03:10,599
Got it. Hey...

73
00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:12,901
who's the murderer?

74
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,905
Any question but that.

75
00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:18,907
Sorry. Hey...

76
00:03:18,909 --> 00:03:21,743
who's not the murderer?

77
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:26,415
Bernadette, can you not stand
so close to me?

78
00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:27,416
What do you care? You're dead.

79
00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:28,617
Suit yourself.

80
00:03:28,619 --> 00:03:31,319
But I can kind of...
see up your skirt.

81
00:03:39,829 --> 00:03:42,230
Thank you
for my bobble head.

82
00:03:42,232 --> 00:03:45,467
Thank you for not making fun
of me during my speech.

83
00:03:45,469 --> 00:03:47,636
It wasn't easy. Was it Buzz?

84
00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:53,408
We can't show up to
your mom's empty-handed.

85
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:55,043
We should bring something.

86
00:03:55,045 --> 00:03:56,611
I already am.

87
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,547
I'm bringing
the gift of knowledge.

88
00:03:58,549 --> 00:04:00,415
Oh, boy.

89
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:02,584
Despite what her Bible says,

90
00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,519
recent archeological
studies indicate

91
00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:07,389
that although camels are
referenced in the Old Testament,

92
00:04:07,391 --> 00:04:09,257
they didn't exist
in the Middle East

93
00:04:09,259 --> 00:04:11,660
until hundreds of years later.

94
00:04:11,662 --> 00:04:14,463
I was gonna say we pick up
a cake or a pie.

95
00:04:14,465 --> 00:04:17,032
But an insult to her faith
is always thoughtful.

96
00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,237
So, what happens next?

97
00:04:22,239 --> 00:04:23,805
I can't tell you that.

98
00:04:23,807 --> 00:04:25,140
But perhaps the killer dropped

99
00:04:25,142 --> 00:04:26,808
a fun and imaginative clue

100
00:04:26,810 --> 00:04:28,510
somewhere in the apartment.

101
00:04:28,512 --> 00:04:29,644
Ooh, I'm gonna check the fridge,

102
00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:32,481
and see if there are
any clues inside a beer.

103
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,117
Hey, I-I found something.

104
00:04:35,119 --> 00:04:37,052
It looks like a little man
with a briefcase.

105
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:39,221
Oh, no, no.
That's Clarence Darrow.

106
00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:42,624
It's from a game Sheldon made up
called Chutes and Lawyers.

107
00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:46,261
You slide down a chute
and then work your way back up

108
00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:48,463
through the appellate system.

109
00:04:49,899 --> 00:04:53,502
Well, unlike that,
my games are much more fun.

110
00:04:53,504 --> 00:04:54,569
Okay, can I ask you something?

111
00:04:54,571 --> 00:04:55,971
Why do you like making us
do this stuff?

112
00:04:55,973 --> 00:04:58,306
Well, I guess
it goes back to

113
00:04:58,308 --> 00:05:00,675
when I was a fat kid in India,
and didn't have any friends.

114
00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:01,977
I didn't know you were fat.

115
00:05:01,979 --> 00:05:03,311
Yeah, I was...

116
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:06,081
I was 200 pounds by the time
I was in middle school.

117
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:07,983
Kids were mean.

118
00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:09,184
Cows may be sacred there,

119
00:05:09,186 --> 00:05:11,386
but it doesn't help
if you look like one.

120
00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,422
Anyway, I was pretty lonely,

121
00:05:14,424 --> 00:05:16,291
so I had to make up
my own stories and games,

122
00:05:16,293 --> 00:05:17,592
and I promised myself

123
00:05:17,594 --> 00:05:19,761
if I ever made
any friends that...

124
00:05:19,763 --> 00:05:22,197
that I would play
those games with them.

125
00:05:22,199 --> 00:05:24,199
That is so sweet.

126
00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:25,967
I've seen old pictures of you.

127
00:05:25,969 --> 00:05:27,736
You were never a fat kid.

128
00:05:27,738 --> 00:05:29,504
No, I was svelte as a gazelle.

129
00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:34,109
A gazelle blessed with a flair
for storytelling.

130
00:05:37,814 --> 00:05:40,549
Hey, what about this?
It looks like a receipt.

131
00:05:40,551 --> 00:05:41,483
What's it for?

132
00:05:41,485 --> 00:05:42,584
For a cup of coffee.

133
00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,586
But it's dated
20 years from now.

134
00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:46,021
From the future?

135
00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:48,190
How fun and imaginative.

136
00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:52,127
So one of us came back
from the future

137
00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:53,895
to murder Stuart?
Correct.

138
00:05:53,897 --> 00:05:55,797
Does the gazelle with a flair
for storytelling

139
00:05:55,799 --> 00:05:58,333
know he's just ripping off
Terminator?

140
00:05:58,335 --> 00:06:00,802
Does the smart-ass know
that Terminator was actually

141
00:06:00,804 --> 00:06:02,537
ripped off from an Outer Limits
script called

142
00:06:02,539 --> 00:06:04,706
Demon With a Glass Hand,
by Harlan Ellison?

143
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:08,009
Oh, does the gazelle know that
according to Harlan Ellison,

144
00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:10,412
it was not ripped off
from Demon With a Glass Hand,

145
00:06:10,414 --> 00:06:13,014
but was ripped off from another
Outer Limits script

146
00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:14,616
he wrote called The Soldier?

147
00:06:14,618 --> 00:06:16,852
I'm gonna need
another clue.

148
00:06:20,289 --> 00:06:21,823
Okay...

149
00:06:21,825 --> 00:06:23,792
give me
the flowers and pie.

150
00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:25,894
But if we show up
and you're holding them,

151
00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:27,829
she'll think
they're only from you.

152
00:06:27,831 --> 00:06:29,231
They are only from me.

153
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:32,200
You said the gift
of you was enough.

154
00:06:32,202 --> 00:06:34,669
Yes... but now

155
00:06:34,671 --> 00:06:36,404
that I've seen
what the gift of me

156
00:06:36,406 --> 00:06:37,806
with flowers and pie looks like,

157
00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:39,341
there's no going back.

158
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,679
Boy, I can't wait to see
the look on her face...

159
00:06:44,681 --> 00:06:45,881
We're leaving right now.

160
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,048
What's wrong?
Nothing.

161
00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:49,451
What? Sheldon, tell me
what's going on!

162
00:06:49,453 --> 00:06:50,852
I saw my mommy with a naked man

163
00:06:50,854 --> 00:06:52,487
and she was trying
to be a mommy again.

164
00:07:05,231 --> 00:07:07,132
You ready to talk about it?

165
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,267
I'm not nearly drunk enough.

166
00:07:11,771 --> 00:07:14,873
Okay.

167
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,813
Do you have any idea
what it's like to see

168
00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:20,748
your mother ravaging someone?

169
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:24,185
Does a brisket count?

170
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,223
I'm sorry, buddy, that's rough.

171
00:07:29,225 --> 00:07:30,724
But didn't she know
we were coming?

172
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:31,725
No.

173
00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:33,594
I wanted to surprise her.

174
00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:36,697
What am I supposed to say to
her after something like this?

175
00:07:36,699 --> 00:07:38,532
Well, did she see you
in the window?

176
00:07:38,534 --> 00:07:39,633
No.

177
00:07:39,635 --> 00:07:40,734
Then don't say anything.

178
00:07:40,736 --> 00:07:42,937
I have to.

179
00:07:42,939 --> 00:07:45,706
How can we ever hope to have
a healthy relationship

180
00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:48,108
if I don't tell her
how disappointed I am,

181
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:50,477
and that I'll never forgive her?

182
00:07:50,479 --> 00:07:53,547
Well, don't do it on the phone.

183
00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:55,049
No, I'm just going
to tell her I'm coming

184
00:07:55,051 --> 00:07:58,419
so she can give that Good
Time Charlie the heave-ho.

185
00:07:58,421 --> 00:08:00,187
That's some tough talk.

186
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,822
I may need to cut you off.

187
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:03,958
Yeah, maybe you better.

188
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,160
I took a pretty big sip.

189
00:08:09,264 --> 00:08:11,866
Look, she's a grown woman.

190
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:15,536
And-and your dad's been
gone a long time.

191
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,472
Maybe this is
none of your business.

192
00:08:18,474 --> 00:08:20,441
I beg to differ.

193
00:08:20,443 --> 00:08:22,910
I used to live in
those genitals.

194
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,347
And if someone wants
to move into my old room,

195
00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:27,781
I should at least get a vote.

196
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,588
Okay, murder suspects,

197
00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:37,591
Leonard has found the time
machine the killer must've used.

198
00:08:37,593 --> 00:08:38,726
You're all inside it,

199
00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:41,362
and we hurtle
through the very fabric of time.

200
00:08:49,271 --> 00:08:52,773
And welcome
to 20 years in the future.

201
00:08:54,509 --> 00:08:56,410
Hey, you guys
just time-traveled.

202
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:59,013
Stop looking so bored.

203
00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:01,482
Well, my beer isn't flat
and my rack's not saggy.

204
00:09:01,484 --> 00:09:03,617
So far, the future's great.

205
00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:07,855
Hey, can I go to the bathroom?

206
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:10,024
Fine, just try not
to look too alive.

207
00:09:10,026 --> 00:09:11,125
That's my jam.

208
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,931
So one of us went back
in time to kill Stuart?

209
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,032
But why?

210
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:19,867
Perhaps this will help.

211
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:20,968
Here are some facts

212
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:24,605
about yourselves in the future

213
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,675
that might contain a clue.

214
00:09:27,677 --> 00:09:28,676
Hey, I-I won

215
00:09:28,678 --> 00:09:30,644
the Nobel Prize in physiology.

216
00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:33,380
Then I used the money to buy
Stuart's comic book store,

217
00:09:33,382 --> 00:09:37,117
and close it down so Sheldon
would pay attention to me.

218
00:09:39,321 --> 00:09:42,089
Not the worst idea.

219
00:09:43,258 --> 00:09:45,826
Hey, I'm a famous actress
living in London.

220
00:09:45,828 --> 00:09:47,761
Hmm! I'm a professor at Stanford.
Hmm!

221
00:09:47,763 --> 00:09:49,663
So I guess you two are
making it work long distance.

222
00:09:49,665 --> 00:09:50,931
Oh, no.

223
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:53,200
In this game,
as your careers both took off,

224
00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:54,034
you drifted apart.

225
00:09:54,036 --> 00:09:55,736
Kind of like how future me

226
00:09:55,738 --> 00:09:58,005
lost touch with you guys
after I became boy toy

227
00:09:58,007 --> 00:10:01,642
for the wrinkled,
but still flexible, Madonna.

228
00:10:02,877 --> 00:10:05,212
What does
your card say, Bernadette?

229
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:06,313
Eh, eh, eh, hang on.

230
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,315
Do-do you think
we'd really drift apart

231
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,883
if we both became successful?

232
00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:11,352
Of course not.

233
00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:13,020
If I became a famous actress
and had to move,

234
00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:14,455
you would just come with me.

235
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:18,058
But if I get a chance
to be a tenured professor,

236
00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:20,627
I might not have that much
choice in where I end up.

237
00:10:20,629 --> 00:10:22,463
Yeah, but if I become
a successful actress,

238
00:10:22,465 --> 00:10:24,031
we wouldn't need the money.

239
00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:27,067
Well, you don't go
into science for the money.

240
00:10:27,069 --> 00:10:28,068
Speak for yourself.

241
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,037
Last month,
my company both invented

242
00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:33,040
and cured
Restless Eye Syndrome.

243
00:10:35,377 --> 00:10:38,145
Ka-ching,
ya blinky chumps.

244
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,682
So, wait, if my career
took me somewhere else,

245
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,083
you might not go?

246
00:10:43,085 --> 00:10:44,551
Well...

247
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:50,190
He started it.

248
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,726
Okay, okay, guys...
new back stories.

249
00:10:52,728 --> 00:10:55,863
Uh, Penny and Leonard,
you two lovebirds are

250
00:10:55,865 --> 00:10:58,132
super successful
and living in New York.

251
00:10:58,134 --> 00:10:59,933
Uh, you're an actress,
you're a professor

252
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,435
and you have
three beautiful kids.

253
00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:02,469
Great.

254
00:11:02,471 --> 00:11:03,604
Really? You think I'm putting

255
00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:05,105
this body through three kids?

256
00:11:07,642 --> 00:11:09,543
Okay, let's do this.

257
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:10,577
Good luck.

258
00:11:10,579 --> 00:11:11,712
You...

259
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,380
Aren't you gonna come with me?

260
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,883
While you confront your mother
about her sex life?

261
00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:19,453
I'd rather go back to that bar
in ass-less chaps.

262
00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:27,161
Mother?

263
00:11:27,163 --> 00:11:28,562
Mother.

264
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:30,030
Mother?

265
00:11:30,032 --> 00:11:32,933
Shelly!
I'm so glad you're here!

266
00:11:32,935 --> 00:11:34,902
I saw you having naked sex.

267
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,273
What are you talking about?

268
00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,475
Earlier, I came here
to surprise you.

269
00:11:41,477 --> 00:11:44,478
I looked in the window
and I saw you with a man.

270
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,314
Oh, Shelly, I'm so sorry.

271
00:11:47,316 --> 00:11:48,949
Come in.

272
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,586
Um...

273
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:55,089
Maybe we should sit down

274
00:11:55,091 --> 00:11:56,790
and talk about this.

275
00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:59,059
Can you recommend a surface

276
00:11:59,061 --> 00:12:01,228
you haven't had coitus on?

277
00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:05,632
That's not funny.

278
00:12:08,636 --> 00:12:11,238
Maybe we should sit
at the table.

279
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,814
Well, I'm sure that, uh,

280
00:12:20,816 --> 00:12:23,150
you...

281
00:12:23,152 --> 00:12:25,152
have a lot of questions.

282
00:12:25,154 --> 00:12:27,254
Who was he?

283
00:12:27,256 --> 00:12:28,222
His name is Ron.

284
00:12:28,224 --> 00:12:30,290
I met him at my prayer group.

285
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,160
How long have you been
involved with him?

286
00:12:33,162 --> 00:12:34,361
A few months.

287
00:12:34,363 --> 00:12:36,363
And of those few months,

288
00:12:36,365 --> 00:12:39,800
how long have you been
a demented sex pervert?

289
00:12:42,737 --> 00:12:45,272
That is no way
to speak to your mother.

290
00:12:45,274 --> 00:12:46,840
Perhaps not.

291
00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:49,676
But it is a way to speak
to a woman who quoted the Bible

292
00:12:49,678 --> 00:12:51,745
to me my whole life,
and then desecrates

293
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:54,615
one of Ethan Allen's
finest sofas.

294
00:12:54,617 --> 00:12:56,850
I will give you one opportunity,

295
00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:57,985
young man, to apologize.

296
00:12:57,987 --> 00:13:00,354
Or what?

297
00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:01,588
Or I will send you to your room.

298
00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:03,857
That's ridiculous.

299
00:13:03,859 --> 00:13:05,626
I am a grown man.

300
00:13:05,628 --> 00:13:07,461
I am a professional scientist.

301
00:13:07,463 --> 00:13:09,897
And I currently occupy
the moral high ground.

302
00:13:09,899 --> 00:13:10,931
Go to your room.

303
00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:16,303
But I occupy
the moral high ground.

304
00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:17,504
Go to your room.

305
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:20,541
But I'm
a professional scientist.

306
00:13:20,543 --> 00:13:23,310
Go... to your room!

307
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:30,050
I'm a grown man.

308
00:13:32,487 --> 00:13:34,421
Can we please get back
to the game?

309
00:13:34,423 --> 00:13:35,522
I-I-In a minute.

310
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:36,990
I-I-I don't understand
why any success

311
00:13:36,992 --> 00:13:38,992
you have in acting
is more important

312
00:13:38,994 --> 00:13:40,761
than any I have in science.

313
00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:42,796
Okay, if you do
something cool in science,

314
00:13:42,798 --> 00:13:44,064
you might change the world.

315
00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:45,199
If I become

316
00:13:45,201 --> 00:13:46,900
a famous actress...

317
00:13:46,902 --> 00:13:49,203
I'm not gonna tell you
why movie stars are the best.

318
00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:50,837
They just are.

319
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,641
I'm surprised you guys never
talked about this stuff.

320
00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:56,877
Like you and Sheldon have
everything figured out?

321
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:57,978
Actually,

322
00:13:57,980 --> 00:13:58,946
our relationship agreement

323
00:13:58,948 --> 00:14:01,148
covers a wide array
of scenarios,

324
00:14:01,150 --> 00:14:03,717
including career changes,
financial instability,

325
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,153
intelligent dog uprising...

326
00:14:06,854 --> 00:14:08,622
FYI, we plan on selling out

327
00:14:08,624 --> 00:14:10,791
the human race hard.

328
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,697
In 20 years, who knows
what'll happen with any of us?

329
00:14:16,699 --> 00:14:19,166
I think you and Leonard
will be together.

330
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,734
You do?
Yeah.

331
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:22,903
I think you're
the best couple I know.

332
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,504
Aw.
That's so sweet.

333
00:14:24,506 --> 00:14:26,907
What the hell?
Excuse me?

334
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:27,874
Ah-da-da-da-da!

335
00:14:27,876 --> 00:14:29,843
Let the dead man talk.

336
00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:32,079
So, why do you think that?

337
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,880
Uh, well, I feel like

338
00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:36,950
you guys make each
other better.

339
00:14:36,952 --> 00:14:38,785
Penny brought Leonard
out of his shell.

340
00:14:38,787 --> 00:14:40,020
And it seems like Leonard

341
00:14:40,022 --> 00:14:42,122
makes Penny think more
deeply about the world.

342
00:14:42,124 --> 00:14:43,290
I don't know.

343
00:14:43,292 --> 00:14:46,360
Together, you two kind of
make one awesome person.

344
00:14:46,362 --> 00:14:48,562
Aw, Stuart.

345
00:14:48,564 --> 00:14:51,098
Now I feel bad
for murdering you.

346
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,800
Oh, come on!

347
00:14:53,802 --> 00:14:55,269
Penny did it! I win!

348
00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:58,238
Suck it, jackasses!

349
00:15:03,879 --> 00:15:06,546
Hey, can I come in?

350
00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:08,482
Apparently any man
is welcome in this house.

351
00:15:08,484 --> 00:15:10,617
Why not you?

352
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:14,054
I thought you were waiting
in the car.

353
00:15:14,056 --> 00:15:16,056
That was an hour ago, Sheldon.

354
00:15:16,058 --> 00:15:18,659
A Jew sits in front of a house
in Texas that long,

355
00:15:18,661 --> 00:15:20,794
"For Sale" signs
start to go up.

356
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:27,100
I take it things didn't
go smoothly with your mom.

357
00:15:27,102 --> 00:15:29,469
No.

358
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,606
I'm not sure how we're going
to get past this.

359
00:15:32,608 --> 00:15:33,807
You know, I...

360
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:36,476
I sort of went
through something

361
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,278
like this myself.

362
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,947
Howard, we've all seen
your mother naked.

363
00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:45,652
That woman needs to learn
how to tie a robe.

364
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,222
I'm talking about when
my mom started seeing someone

365
00:15:49,224 --> 00:15:51,525
a couple years
after my dad left.

366
00:15:51,527 --> 00:15:54,361
I didn't know she did.

367
00:15:54,363 --> 00:15:57,931
Yeah, she was dating this guy,

368
00:15:57,933 --> 00:16:01,868
and I was kind of a jerk
to her about it.

369
00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:04,137
What did you do?

370
00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:06,206
Well, let's just say
it was the most vicious

371
00:16:06,208 --> 00:16:09,343
bar mitzvah speech in
the history of Temple Beth El.

372
00:16:10,311 --> 00:16:13,513
Anyway, she broke up with him.

373
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,482
And she's basically

374
00:16:15,484 --> 00:16:17,718
been alone ever since.

375
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:22,356
She never said it,
but I always felt

376
00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:25,559
I was the reason why.

377
00:16:25,561 --> 00:16:26,526
I'm sorry.

378
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,994
Although,
based on your story,

379
00:16:27,996 --> 00:16:31,932
you absolutely
were the reason why.

380
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,035
All I'm saying is
you might not want

381
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,405
to get in the way
of your mom's happiness.

382
00:16:40,007 --> 00:16:42,242
You may have a point.

383
00:16:42,244 --> 00:16:45,078
I love my mother.

384
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:49,216
Even if she fornicates
like a demonic weasel.

385
00:16:53,187 --> 00:16:56,189
And the healing begins.

386
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,595
Hello.

387
00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:02,629
Hello.

388
00:17:02,631 --> 00:17:03,964
Are you ready to discuss

389
00:17:03,966 --> 00:17:05,699
this calmly, like adults?

390
00:17:05,701 --> 00:17:08,235
I am.

391
00:17:20,515 --> 00:17:23,717
Shelly, I'm sorry that
you saw what you saw.

392
00:17:23,719 --> 00:17:26,052
I know that this
is hard for you.

393
00:17:26,054 --> 00:17:28,388
I think what most upsets me
about it, Mother,

394
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,157
is the hypocrisy.

395
00:17:30,159 --> 00:17:32,125
Doesn't this contradict

396
00:17:32,127 --> 00:17:35,328
all the religious rules you've
been espousing your whole life?

397
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:36,830
You're right, it does,
and it's something

398
00:17:36,832 --> 00:17:39,132
that I'm struggling
with these days.

399
00:17:39,134 --> 00:17:40,834
Then why are you doing it?

400
00:17:40,836 --> 00:17:43,670
Because I'm not
perfect, Shelly.

401
00:17:43,672 --> 00:17:46,640
And that man's booty is.

402
00:17:51,712 --> 00:17:55,549
Well, this is confusing for me.

403
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:58,051
But I don't want to stand
in the way of your happiness.

404
00:17:58,053 --> 00:18:00,020
So...

405
00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:02,689
I'll condemn you internally
while maintaining

406
00:18:02,691 --> 00:18:05,625
an outward appearance
of acceptance.

407
00:18:06,727 --> 00:18:10,197
That is very Christian of you.

408
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,401
Mother, if you're going
to conduct your life

409
00:18:14,403 --> 00:18:16,803
in this fashion,
then I should let you know

410
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:19,973
that the world has changed
since you were a young woman.

411
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,341
You know,
it's not all sock hops,

412
00:18:21,343 --> 00:18:25,145
soda jerks
and segregation anymore.

413
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:28,715
How old do you think I am?

414
00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:32,385
My point is that you're going
to need to be careful.

415
00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:33,720
You used to be protected

416
00:18:33,722 --> 00:18:36,490
by your pre-Enlightenment
mythology,

417
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:39,192
but now you're going
to need a stronger friend

418
00:18:39,194 --> 00:18:42,229
named latex.

419
00:18:43,431 --> 00:18:47,434
Are you having the
sex talk with me?

420
00:18:47,436 --> 00:18:48,768
Well, someone has to.

421
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:51,304
Oh, dear Lord!
Yeah, well...

422
00:18:51,306 --> 00:18:53,874
No, don't look to Him.
He's mad at you right now.

423
00:19:03,841 --> 00:19:05,442
Oh, come on, don't pout.

424
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,144
I'm sorry I ruined your game.

425
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,312
I'm not pouting, I'm brooding.

426
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,516
Which is how sexy men pout.

427
00:19:14,085 --> 00:19:15,852
It actually was kind of fun.

428
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:16,953
You're just saying that.

429
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,089
Yeah.

430
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,660
I liked the time travel element.

431
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,862
Thank you.
I thought it was inspired.

432
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,631
It was. By Terminator.

433
00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:30,333
Well, I hope 20 years from now,

434
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,535
we really are all still together

435
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:32,536
and still friends.

436
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:33,970
Definitely.
Of course.

437
00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:35,305
Well, hey, how about this?

438
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,808
Whether we're friends,
not friends,

439
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,476
scattered around the world,
no matter what,

440
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,611
let's all promise to meet
in front of this building

441
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,914
exactly 20 years
from tonight at 8:00 p.m.

442
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,582
and have dinner
like we always do.

443
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,850
Aw! I love it.

444
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,884
Okay?

445
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:48,952
Putting it
in my phone right now.

446
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,153
Yeah, me, too.

447
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:53,757
My phone doesn't
have a calendar.

448
00:19:58,062 --> 00:20:00,297
It's all right, I'll just
write it on my hand.

449
00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,634
And it's done.

450
00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:05,969
Yup, we're all in.

451
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:07,904
All right, I'll see you guys
in 20 years.

452
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,665
I knew it.

453
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:22,667
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man