1
00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:01,667
I'm just getting on a train

2
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,835
and leaving forever.

3
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,089
So a few things
don't go your way

4
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,423
and your best
decision

5
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,059
is to ride the
rails like a hobo?

6
00:00:11,061 --> 00:00:13,345
Leonard, I am overwhelmed.

7
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,429
Everything
is changing,

8
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,848
and it's simply too much.

9
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,517
I need to get away and think.

10
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,018
Sheldon...

11
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,853
Yes?

12
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,739
I'm gonna miss you.

13
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:26,575
Of course you are.

14
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,696
You just made
that easier.

15
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,835
Excuse me.

16
00:00:39,656 --> 00:00:41,623
Is it at all possible

17
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,875
that you're knitting
a pair of pants?

18
00:00:45,511 --> 00:00:47,796
Oh, well, no, you're
understandably terrified.

19
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,432
But, you know,
allow me to explain.

20
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:53,552
45 days ago, um,
I embarked on

21
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,053
a railroad journey
of healing

22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,438
because my university

23
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,056
was making me do
string theory,

24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,642
and my favorite comic
book store burned down,

25
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,477
and when my roommate
got engaged,

26
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,730
my girlfriend wanted
to move in with me,

27
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,399
which was no doubt
a ploy just to see my...

28
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,985
well, excuse my language,
but my bathing suit parts.

29
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,624
Uh, sir, may I
use your phone?

30
00:01:15,626 --> 00:01:17,659
I don't think so.
Yeah, well,

31
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,411
I understand that
I'm half naked,

32
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,296
but there is
a reasonable explanation.

33
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,915
While I slept
in my sleeper car,

34
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,717
all my possessions were stolen.

35
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,719
Now,

36
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,387
typically,
I wear pajamas,

37
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:32,257
but I recently adopted
a hobo lifestyle

38
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:36,011
and pajamas are the
sleep-pants of the Man.

39
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,982
I'll have you know,
Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants

40
00:01:40,984 --> 00:01:42,901
and a nation rallied behind him!

41
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,886
My good man...

42
00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:46,238
Now, before you walk away...

43
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,106
I know that I may
appear deranged,

44
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,609
but I am, in fact,
a world-renowned physicist.

45
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,029
Ask me the difference
between a boson and a fermion.

46
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,247
Go ahead, ask!

47
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,785
Bosons have integer spin,

48
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,170
fermions have half-integer spin!

49
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:03,455
My legs are getting cold!

50
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,224
Why won't anybody help me?

51
00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:34,560
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

52
00:02:36,418 --> 00:02:37,418
Morning.

53
00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:38,952
Hi. Want to do
yoga with me?

54
00:02:38,954 --> 00:02:40,637
Um, let me just have
some coffee first,

55
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,772
and then I'll have
the strength to tell you

56
00:02:42,774 --> 00:02:45,108
how much I won't be doing that.

57
00:02:47,996 --> 00:02:49,245
Hello?

58
00:02:49,247 --> 00:02:51,131
Hello, Leonard.

59
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:54,084
Hey, buddy.
Good to hear your voice.

60
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,585
Uh, I'm in Kingman, Arizona,

61
00:02:55,587 --> 00:02:59,089
and, uh, I need you
to come pick me up.

62
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,957
I'd love to.

63
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:03,626
I'm just about
to do yoga with Penny.

64
00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:07,347
Leonard, I'm at
the police station.

65
00:03:07,349 --> 00:03:08,349
I was robbed.

66
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,933
Th-They took my phone,

67
00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:12,102
my wallet, my iPad, everything.

68
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,303
Oh, my God, are you okay?

69
00:03:13,305 --> 00:03:14,305
No,

70
00:03:14,306 --> 00:03:15,388
I'm not okay.

71
00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:17,273
I-I'm wearing borrowed pants,

72
00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:19,359
I-I don't have I.D.,

73
00:03:19,361 --> 00:03:20,777
and one of the officers here

74
00:03:20,779 --> 00:03:23,279
won't stop calling me
Chicken Legs.

75
00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:24,614
Okay.

76
00:03:24,616 --> 00:03:25,865
Uh, I'll-I'll
come get you.

77
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:26,816
What's the address?

78
00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:27,867
Hey, what's going on?
Oh.

79
00:03:27,869 --> 00:03:29,452
He got all of
his stuff stolen.

80
00:03:29,454 --> 00:03:30,737
Oh...

81
00:03:30,739 --> 00:03:32,822
Okay...

82
00:03:32,824 --> 00:03:33,990
Sheldon, hang tight.

83
00:03:33,992 --> 00:03:35,658
Hey, do you want me
to bring anything?

84
00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:36,993
Oh, yes, please.

85
00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:38,161
A pair of pants.

86
00:03:38,163 --> 00:03:39,412
And my toothbrush.

87
00:03:39,414 --> 00:03:41,081
Yeah, and my mail.

88
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:42,999
And a really good comeback
for Chicken Legs,

89
00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:45,085
because "I know you are,
but what am I?"

90
00:03:45,087 --> 00:03:47,754
was met with stony silence.

91
00:03:47,756 --> 00:03:49,639
I'll be there
as soon as I can.

92
00:03:49,641 --> 00:03:50,840
Is he okay?

93
00:03:50,842 --> 00:03:52,559
Yeah, he's fine, he's
just a little rattled.

94
00:03:52,561 --> 00:03:53,418
Oh...

95
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,645
Feel like driving
to Arizona with me?

96
00:03:54,646 --> 00:03:55,979
I can't, I have
that job interview.

97
00:03:55,981 --> 00:03:57,347
Oh, right.
Besides,

98
00:03:57,349 --> 00:03:58,898
I don't need six hours of
"Your hair is different.

99
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,183
"Why did you change your hair?

100
00:04:00,185 --> 00:04:02,685
I'm holding my breath
until your hair grows back."

101
00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:05,238
All right, fine.

102
00:04:06,207 --> 00:04:07,607
Hey, can you
think of a reason

103
00:04:07,609 --> 00:04:08,988
I shouldn't invite
Amy to come with me?

104
00:04:09,013 --> 00:04:09,745
Nope.

105
00:04:09,745 --> 00:04:12,445
Come on, you didn't even try.

106
00:04:13,614 --> 00:04:15,698
Thanks for the lift.

107
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,033
What's wrong
with your car?

108
00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:20,253
I'm having my windows untinted.

109
00:04:20,255 --> 00:04:22,088
Why?

110
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:23,456
Got a hot girlfriend now.

111
00:04:23,458 --> 00:04:25,341
I want the haters to know.

112
00:04:25,343 --> 00:04:26,760
What are you talking about?

113
00:04:26,762 --> 00:04:28,378
No one's paying
attention to you.

114
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:29,712
Wow.

115
00:04:29,714 --> 00:04:32,298
How's that Hater-Ade
taste, bro?

116
00:04:33,551 --> 00:04:35,218
Hey, this isn't
the way to work.

117
00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:38,304
I just want to pop in
and make sure Ma's okay.

118
00:04:38,306 --> 00:04:39,889
I thought Stuart
was looking after her.

119
00:04:39,891 --> 00:04:43,443
He was, but now that her cast
is off, he moved out.

120
00:04:43,445 --> 00:04:44,944
And honestly, I'm kind of glad.

121
00:04:44,946 --> 00:04:46,396
It was getting a little weird.

122
00:04:46,398 --> 00:04:47,614
How so?

123
00:04:47,616 --> 00:04:48,815
I don't know,
they're...

124
00:04:48,817 --> 00:04:51,484
chummy.

125
00:04:51,486 --> 00:04:53,069
Like us?

126
00:04:53,071 --> 00:04:54,571
No, not like us.

127
00:04:54,573 --> 00:04:55,905
Creepy chummy,

128
00:04:55,907 --> 00:04:58,208
like you and your dog.

129
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:01,795
She feeds him out
of her own mouth?

130
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:04,998
I mean, he calls
her Debbie,

131
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,167
she calls
him Stewie

132
00:05:07,169 --> 00:05:08,885
and they're all giggly
around each other.

133
00:05:08,887 --> 00:05:10,970
And believe me,
when food goes in that mouth,

134
00:05:10,972 --> 00:05:12,672
it does not come out.

135
00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:14,591
So are you worried

136
00:05:14,593 --> 00:05:17,343
because he's replacing you
as a son

137
00:05:17,345 --> 00:05:20,146
or are you worried because
he's becoming her lover?

138
00:05:20,148 --> 00:05:22,849
First of all, no one can
replace me as a son.

139
00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:24,400
I'm her little matzo ball.

140
00:05:24,402 --> 00:05:26,319
And secondly,

141
00:05:26,321 --> 00:05:27,937
my mother is well past

142
00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:30,523
having any kind of sex life.

143
00:05:30,525 --> 00:05:32,325
Okay, okay.

144
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,945
Although many older women
lead vibrant, active...

145
00:05:35,947 --> 00:05:37,864
I said well past it!

146
00:05:40,451 --> 00:05:43,036
Excuse me,
Officer Hernandez?

147
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:46,089
Any leads on the person
who stole my belongings?

148
00:05:46,091 --> 00:05:47,123
Not yet.

149
00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,291
Well, perhaps I can help.

150
00:05:48,293 --> 00:05:50,176
Sherlock Holmes
always says

151
00:05:50,178 --> 00:05:53,296
when you eliminate
the impossible,

152
00:05:53,298 --> 00:05:55,598
whatever remains,
however improbable,

153
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,933
must be the truth.

154
00:05:56,935 --> 00:06:00,186
Now, have-have you
tried doing that?

155
00:06:00,188 --> 00:06:02,055
Nope.

156
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:05,642
Well, maybe you should.

157
00:06:05,644 --> 00:06:08,478
Th-Th-There's lots of books
called "Sherlock Holmes"

158
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,147
and there's no books
called "Officer Hernandez."

159
00:06:17,438 --> 00:06:19,572
Thanks again
for coming.

160
00:06:19,574 --> 00:06:21,958
Six hours was gonna be
a long drive by myself.

161
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,243
My pleasure.

162
00:06:23,245 --> 00:06:25,912
And I'm not angry at all
that my boyfriend

163
00:06:25,914 --> 00:06:28,081
was in trouble
and called you instead of me.

164
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,299
I love that!

165
00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:35,471
Yeah, time's gonna fly by.

166
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,642
I haven't been on a job
interview in years.

167
00:06:39,644 --> 00:06:40,727
I'm really nervous.

168
00:06:40,729 --> 00:06:41,811
Don't be.

169
00:06:41,813 --> 00:06:43,730
You are built for
pharmaceutical sales.

170
00:06:43,732 --> 00:06:46,516
You're cute,
you're flirty and...

171
00:06:46,518 --> 00:06:49,319
Started that like there
were gonna be three things.

172
00:06:50,437 --> 00:06:52,772
I don't have
any experience in sales.

173
00:06:52,774 --> 00:06:55,692
Unless you count the bikini
car wash I did in high school.

174
00:06:55,694 --> 00:06:58,444
But you already made me
take that off my résumé.

175
00:07:00,197 --> 00:07:02,115
This job is a lot
like being a waitress,

176
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,616
except instead of
pushing the fish tacos

177
00:07:03,618 --> 00:07:04,867
'cause they're
about to go bad,

178
00:07:04,869 --> 00:07:06,953
you're just pushing
our antidepressants

179
00:07:06,955 --> 00:07:09,672
before the FDA finds out they
may cause rectal bleeding.

180
00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:12,942
They do?

181
00:07:12,944 --> 00:07:15,378
Maybe.

182
00:07:16,547 --> 00:07:18,881
But like our lawyers say,
the world is full of things

183
00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:21,384
that can cause a
rectum to bleed.

184
00:07:22,886 --> 00:07:24,103
Anyway, I talked
you up to Dan.

185
00:07:24,105 --> 00:07:25,688
He's the guy who'll
be interviewing you.

186
00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:27,056
Oh, I really appreciate this.

187
00:07:27,058 --> 00:07:28,725
I just hope I'm not
in over my head.

188
00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:30,643
You'll be fine.
Just be yourself.

189
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,278
I wish I felt more confident.
Penny,

190
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,896
I wouldn't have put
you up for this job

191
00:07:33,898 --> 00:07:35,064
if I didn't think
you could handle it.

192
00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:37,433
Oh, thank you,
but maybe I should cancel.

193
00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:39,285
It's too late to cancel.
You're going.

194
00:07:39,287 --> 00:07:41,187
But I don't know anything
about pharmaceuticals.

195
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:42,572
Oh, I understand.

196
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:44,540
You want to do something
you're already good at.

197
00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:45,792
I know.

198
00:07:45,794 --> 00:07:47,460
Why don't I get
you a job at

199
00:07:47,462 --> 00:07:50,380
the Sitting Around All Day
Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?

200
00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:56,552
They're comfortable.

201
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:02,091
Ma, I hope you're decent.
Raj is here!

202
00:08:02,093 --> 00:08:03,476
You just started seeing
naked women again,

203
00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:05,144
and I don't want you
to be confused

204
00:08:05,146 --> 00:08:06,596
about where the boobs should be.

205
00:08:07,765 --> 00:08:09,315
Oh, hey, guys.

206
00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:10,767
What are you
doing here?

207
00:08:10,769 --> 00:08:13,519
Uh... w-what are you doing here?

208
00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:14,687
I thought you moved out.

209
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,606
Oh, yeah, I was going to,

210
00:08:16,608 --> 00:08:18,608
and then Debbie
and I got to talking

211
00:08:18,610 --> 00:08:20,193
over dinner
the other night.

212
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,444
I didn't have anyplace to go,

213
00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:22,745
she likes having me around,

214
00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:25,498
so we both said, "Why leave?"
at the same time.

215
00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:28,918
It was precious.

216
00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:32,372
It's not that precious.

217
00:08:32,374 --> 00:08:33,790
I'd like to
back you up,

218
00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:35,842
but it sounds like it
was pretty precious.

219
00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:43,299
Stewie, I can't find my glasses!

220
00:08:43,301 --> 00:08:45,051
Be right there, Deb Deb!

221
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,304
They're probably on her head.

222
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,474
Or in her neck.
Listen.

223
00:08:52,726 --> 00:08:55,528
You staying here
seems like something

224
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,647
she would've talked
to me about.

225
00:08:57,649 --> 00:09:00,316
Well, maybe if you called your
mother more often, you'd know.

226
00:09:03,871 --> 00:09:06,456
It wouldn't kill you
to pick up the phone.

227
00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:23,773
Any word on my
stolen items?

228
00:09:23,775 --> 00:09:25,908
We're doing everything we can.

229
00:09:26,744 --> 00:09:28,411
You know, Sherlock Holmes

230
00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:30,646
liked to use cocaine
to sharpen his focus.

231
00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:37,120
But I'm sure those Cool Ranch
Doritos are doing the trick.

232
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:39,756
Sheldon.

233
00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:41,357
Leonard!

234
00:09:41,359 --> 00:09:43,710
Oh, I'm so happy
to see you.

235
00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:45,828
Are you okay?
Oh, I'm fine.

236
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,697
Why did you come?

237
00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:50,833
What do you mean,
why did I come?

238
00:09:50,835 --> 00:09:51,918
You're my boyfriend.

239
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,619
I haven't seen you
in over a month.

240
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:55,621
I just drove six hours
to help you out.

241
00:09:55,623 --> 00:09:57,206
Don't you have
anything to say besides,

242
00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:58,424
"Why did you come?"

243
00:09:59,426 --> 00:10:01,177
I do, but...

244
00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:02,879
I feel uncomfortable
saying it out loud

245
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,630
in front of these
police officers.

246
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,133
Fine.

247
00:10:07,135 --> 00:10:08,351
Whisper it.

248
00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:14,273
Shotgun.

249
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,336
So, Sheldon, tell
us about your trip.

250
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,754
Where'd you go?

251
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,255
Where didn't I go?

252
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,340
I went to New York,

253
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:36,593
Chicago, Atlanta, Denver,

254
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,061
Seattle.

255
00:10:38,063 --> 00:10:39,563
How were they?

256
00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:40,981
Oh, I have no idea.

257
00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:42,649
I never left
the train station.

258
00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:46,520
Hang on. You traveled
across the entire country

259
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,405
and never left a train station?

260
00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:49,656
Why would I?

261
00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,608
That's where
all the cool trains are.

262
00:10:53,077 --> 00:10:55,445
I'm sorry, so you
never went outside?

263
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,165
Or had a single
piece of fruit.

264
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:02,619
So...

265
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,754
why do you think
you'd make

266
00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:07,007
a good pharmaceutical sales rep?

267
00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:09,042
Well, I'm a people person.
Mm-hmm.

268
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,210
People like me.

269
00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,429
Some of my favorite people
are people.

270
00:11:13,431 --> 00:11:15,349
I feel like I'm saying
"people" a lot.

271
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:18,018
People, people, people, PE...
Okay, I'm done.

272
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:19,469
You sure?

273
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,637
People.

274
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,606
Yes.

275
00:11:22,608 --> 00:11:24,474
Good!

276
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,609
So, how do you feel

277
00:11:25,611 --> 00:11:27,644
your previous job experience
has prepared you

278
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,563
for a career like this?

279
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:32,699
Uh, well, as a waitress,
sales was a big part of my job.

280
00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:35,235
I mean, believe me, I convinced
a lot of very large customers,

281
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,787
who should not be
eating cheesecake,

282
00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:38,705
to have more cheesecake.

283
00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:39,990
I mean,

284
00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:42,125
one of those chubsters
even had an insulin pump!

285
00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:44,828
Uh-huh!

286
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:48,949
I have an insulin pump.

287
00:11:51,135 --> 00:11:53,336
People.

288
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,391
It's weird, right?

289
00:11:57,393 --> 00:12:00,844
A grown man in his 30s
living with my mother.

290
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,179
That is weird.

291
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:05,315
I thought he was, like, 45.

292
00:12:05,317 --> 00:12:07,350
Come on, you don't think
it's a little odd?

293
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,486
I don't know!
I mean, she's lonely.

294
00:12:09,488 --> 00:12:10,854
He needs a place to stay.

295
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,823
I doubt there's
any funny business going on.

296
00:12:12,825 --> 00:12:14,074
And even if there was,

297
00:12:14,076 --> 00:12:15,442
who cares?
They're both adults.

298
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,027
"Who cares"?
You wouldn't care

299
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,995
if I slept with your mom?

300
00:12:18,997 --> 00:12:20,697
You know what?
You're my best friend,

301
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,032
and she's in a bad marriage.

302
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,117
I give you my blessing.

303
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,369
This is stupid.

304
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,706
I'm just gonna call my mother
and be honest with her.

305
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:32,509
'Cause that's
what little matzo balls do.

306
00:12:36,598 --> 00:12:37,714
This is Debbie!

307
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,049
And this is Stuart!

308
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:42,719
Just kidding!

309
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,689
Leave a message!

310
00:12:49,026 --> 00:12:52,112
This is the part where you talk.

311
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,566
All right, let's say
a physician was prescribing

312
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,985
one of our competitor's drugs.

313
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,037
How would you convince them
to switch to ours?

314
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,894
Um...

315
00:13:07,896 --> 00:13:09,629
any chance his car needs

316
00:13:09,631 --> 00:13:12,966
to be washed by a girl
in a bikini?

317
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,969
No...

318
00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:18,305
Okay, I'm really sorry
for wasting your time.

319
00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:20,891
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for stopping by.

320
00:13:20,893 --> 00:13:23,093
Okay, thanks.

321
00:13:24,479 --> 00:13:27,397
Um, I'm sor...
Listen, could you do me a favor

322
00:13:27,399 --> 00:13:30,267
and not tell Bernadette
how badly I blew this interview?

323
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:31,585
She'll get upset.

324
00:13:31,587 --> 00:13:35,355
And honestly I'm a...
a little terrified of her.

325
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:38,825
Wait, wait.
You're scared of Bernadette?

326
00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:40,443
Yeah, kind of.

327
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,947
I thought it was just me!

328
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,417
E-Everyone thinks she's so nice

329
00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:50,754
with that squeaky little voice.

330
00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:52,639
I know, but she's
kind of a bully!

331
00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,708
She is!

332
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,209
I-I didn't even want
to meet you,

333
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:59,796
but, uh, I was too scared
to say no to her.

334
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,431
Me, too!

335
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:03,133
Yeah, yeah!
One-one time, I had...

336
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,801
Oh!
I had to tell her

337
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,303
we were cutting
the-the research funding

338
00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:08,054
for one of the drugs
she was developing.

339
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,306
What happened?

340
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:10,891
I couldn't do it!

341
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,976
She's still working on it!

342
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,447
Oh!

343
00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,316
We're not gonna tell her
about this, right?

344
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,651
Oh, my God, no!
No, no...

345
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,121
At the hot dog stand
in the Denver train station...

346
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,790
Heinz ketchup.

347
00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:27,958
At the hot dog stand

348
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,492
in the Salt Lake City
train station...

349
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,911
Heinz ketchup.

350
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:34,548
At the hot dog stand in the
Indianapolis train station...

351
00:14:35,883 --> 00:14:38,468
I don't care.

352
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,005
Wrong! Hunt's!

353
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,841
Hey, Amy!
What do you say?

354
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,060
You ready to move on
to the mustard round?

355
00:14:47,062 --> 00:14:49,930
Have you not noticed that
I've been sitting back here

356
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,432
quietly stewing for
the past two hours?

357
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,735
I just thought
you were bad at the game.

358
00:14:56,988 --> 00:14:58,738
I'm mad at you!

359
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,241
How could you just
go away like that

360
00:15:01,243 --> 00:15:02,442
without even
saying good-bye,

361
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,861
and then call Leonard
for help instead of me?

362
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:08,698
Amy?

363
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,867
May I please have
a moment of privacy

364
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,003
to speak with my roommate?

365
00:15:13,005 --> 00:15:16,256
We're in a moving car!

366
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,709
What do you expect me to do?

367
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,761
Stick my fingers in my ears?

368
00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:23,430
Well, I was thinking
put your head out the window

369
00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:24,931
like a dog, but that'll work.

370
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,851
Please? This'll be quick.

371
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:34,307
Leonard?

372
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:35,775
As soon as we get home,

373
00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:38,144
I want to have coitus with Amy.

374
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,120
Okay, she can't hear.

375
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,075
The reason I called you

376
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,494
is because I didn't want Amy

377
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,130
to know I couldn't make it
on my own.

378
00:15:57,132 --> 00:15:59,165
What's the big deal?

379
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,635
Oh, of course it's
no big deal to you.

380
00:16:01,637 --> 00:16:04,137
You idolize me,
and nothing could ever knock me

381
00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:06,339
off that pedestal you put me on.

382
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,425
Well, yeah, it's true.

383
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,310
You-you are a god to me.

384
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,096
Can I stop now?

385
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,932
Just tell her.

386
00:16:16,984 --> 00:16:19,319
I called Leonard because...

387
00:16:19,321 --> 00:16:21,321
I failed.

388
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:24,658
And I didn't want you
to think less of me.

389
00:16:25,493 --> 00:16:27,661
You were worried about that?

390
00:16:28,996 --> 00:16:31,197
Yes.

391
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,618
Sheldon...

392
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:39,122
it's okay with me that
you're not perfect.

393
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,546
Can I have one more moment
with Leonard?

394
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,765
Sure.

395
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,275
Amy just hurt my feelings.
I want to break up with her.

396
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:04,781
Now, I never thought
I'd say this, but I'm

397
00:17:04,783 --> 00:17:07,984
kind of excited to see Sheldon.

398
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:11,237
I never thought I'd say this,
but Penny got a job today.

399
00:17:12,123 --> 00:17:13,523
She did?

400
00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:14,991
Well, the only reason she got it

401
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,961
is 'cause the guy
who interviewed her loves me.

402
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,002
What do you want?

403
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,888
I, uh, kind of got the feeling

404
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:31,841
you might not be okay with me
staying at your mom's.

405
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,093
You're right, I'm not.

406
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,477
I think it's weird.

407
00:17:34,479 --> 00:17:35,512
Howie?

408
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,813
It is. He's a grown man.

409
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,398
He's just gonna
live there rent-free?

410
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,682
How is that gonna motivate him

411
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,818
to get off his butt
and get a job?

412
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:44,771
I mean, do you even have a plan?

413
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,240
Hey, you're not my father, okay?

414
00:17:47,242 --> 00:17:49,359
And besides, your mother
and I were talking...

415
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,528
"Your mother and I"?
You're not my father!

416
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:52,695
I didn't say I was your father!

417
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,747
Well, I didn't say

418
00:17:53,749 --> 00:17:55,448
I was your father!
Okay, calm down.

419
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,417
You're not his father,
he's not your father!

420
00:17:57,419 --> 00:18:00,286
Nobody's anybody's father.

421
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,005
I-I'm sorry
you don't like my life choices,

422
00:18:02,007 --> 00:18:03,373
but it's my life!

423
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,675
Well, it's my house,
it's my rules!

424
00:18:05,677 --> 00:18:07,710
Oh-oh! Okay, Dad!

425
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,346
If I mow the lawn,
can I have my allowance?

426
00:18:10,348 --> 00:18:12,432
Hey, don't you take that
sarcastic tone with him!

427
00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:13,800
I don't have
to listen to you!

428
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,051
Don't talk to her like that!

429
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,636
That is my mother... Wife!

430
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,555
My wife! I said my wife!

431
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,223
You know what?

432
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,608
This isn't getting us anywhere.

433
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:24,310
When you're ready to apologize,
you know where to find me.

434
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,563
Well, yeah, in my house!

435
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,731
That's right, sucka!

436
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:34,287
I wish I'd never
gone on that trip.

437
00:18:34,289 --> 00:18:36,906
I feel no better now
than when I left.

438
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,408
But you still
accomplished something.

439
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:40,126
Yeah. If you had
told anyone

440
00:18:40,128 --> 00:18:42,295
that you were going away
on a train by yourself

441
00:18:42,297 --> 00:18:44,914
across the country, do you
know what they would have said?

442
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,916
That I couldn't do it?
Exactly.

443
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,636
Right after they said, "Yay!"

444
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,505
But you did do it.

445
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,591
So what if it didn't
all go your way?

446
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,893
That's what makes it
an adventure.

447
00:18:56,895 --> 00:18:58,895
That's a good point.

448
00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:02,515
Yeah, I'm a lot like
Gandalf the Grey.

449
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,734
He fought the Balrog and emerged

450
00:19:04,736 --> 00:19:07,353
stronger than ever
as Gandalf the White.

451
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,939
I was robbed
of my phone and pants,

452
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,275
and I, too,
came back stronger.

453
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,160
And whiter, too,
'cause I wasn't

454
00:19:14,162 --> 00:19:17,030
in direct sunlight
for six weeks.

455
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:20,283
See? This trip
was good for you.

456
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,835
Indeed.

457
00:19:21,837 --> 00:19:25,121
I was the world's
smartest caterpillar.

458
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:28,958
And then after pupating
in our nation's railway system,

459
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,460
I've burst forth

460
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:33,680
as the world's
smartest butterfly.

461
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,798
Butterfly could've
gotten himself

462
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,351
home from Arizona.

463
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:41,304
Yeah, I feel renewed.

464
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,306
I'm ready

465
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,439
to deal with any changes

466
00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:44,807
that come my way.

467
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,143
Hey!
Hey!

468
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,645
Look who's back!

469
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,230
Your hair is different.
You changed your hair.

470
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,715
I can't take this.
I'm out.

471
00:20:00,589 --> 00:20:02,640
Would you like to see pictures
from my trip?

472
00:20:02,642 --> 00:20:04,174
I thought your
phone got stolen.

473
00:20:04,176 --> 00:20:06,060
Yeah, it did,
but luckily all my photos

474
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:08,162
got backed up to the Cloud.

475
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:11,432
And you thought they
all had a silver lining.

476
00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:12,850
Here... day one.

477
00:20:12,852 --> 00:20:14,201
Uh, this was the seat

478
00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:16,020
I was going to sit in but didn't

479
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:18,772
because there were
cracker crumbs on it.

480
00:20:18,774 --> 00:20:22,126
As it was first class,
I suspect Ritz.

481
00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:26,647
This is the train bathroom.

482
00:20:26,649 --> 00:20:28,315
This is the Imodium I took

483
00:20:28,317 --> 00:20:31,051
so I would never have
to use the train bathroom.

484
00:20:31,053 --> 00:20:32,770
I cannot believe

485
00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:34,204
you traveled the
entire country

486
00:20:34,206 --> 00:20:35,673
and never left
the train station.

487
00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:37,625
I know.
You know, I almost died

488
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,711
in a fire in Des Moines,
but I stayed put.

489
00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:42,379
FYI...

490
00:20:42,381 --> 00:20:44,148
that's when
the Imodium gave out.

491
00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:50,150
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man