1
00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:02,491
to create
supersoldiers

2
00:00:02,493 --> 00:00:06,061
by having women
impregnated by gorillas.

3
00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:09,498
What a sick use
of science.

4
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:11,750
Hey, as long as
the baby's healthy.

5
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:15,471
I wonder if Stalin considered
any other animals.

6
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,506
Hippos are
the deadliest creature.

7
00:00:17,508 --> 00:00:20,592
A half-human, half-hippo soldier
would be pretty badass.

8
00:00:21,811 --> 00:00:23,762
Yes, but when they're
hungry-hungry,

9
00:00:23,764 --> 00:00:25,681
you can stop them
with marbles.

10
00:00:27,017 --> 00:00:28,100
Yeah, the correct animal

11
00:00:28,102 --> 00:00:30,736
for interspecies supersolider
is koala.

12
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:35,240
You would wind up with an army
so cute it couldn't be attacked.

13
00:00:36,609 --> 00:00:39,161
But half-man, half-owl
could fly...

14
00:00:39,163 --> 00:00:42,748
The answer is cuddly soldiers
with big flat noses. Moving on.

15
00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,417
So, Penny, when's
the new job start?

16
00:00:45,419 --> 00:00:46,618
Next Monday.

17
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:48,087
Did you get a chance
to look over

18
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,038
the materials I gave you?

19
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,205
Uh, not yet,
but I will.

20
00:00:50,207 --> 00:00:52,424
Great. When?

21
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:54,543
I said I'll get to it.

22
00:00:58,181 --> 00:01:01,333
I'm sensing awkwardness,
am I right?

23
00:01:01,335 --> 00:01:03,302
Yes.

24
00:01:03,304 --> 00:01:05,471
Swish.

25
00:01:06,389 --> 00:01:08,390
I don't want to be pushy,

26
00:01:08,392 --> 00:01:11,143
but you've never done
pharmaceutical sales before.

27
00:01:11,145 --> 00:01:13,562
It seems like you could use
this time to get a head start.

28
00:01:13,564 --> 00:01:15,064
Well, the first few
weeks will be all training.

29
00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:17,733
They'll tell me everything
I need to know.

30
00:01:17,735 --> 00:01:19,284
But imagine how impressed
they'd be if you showed up

31
00:01:19,286 --> 00:01:20,703
already familiar
with the material.

32
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:23,238
Okay, so what, you want me
to be like a teacher's pet?

33
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,374
Couldn't hurt.

34
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:26,241
Mm, I don't know.

35
00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:27,993
Who here has ever been hurt

36
00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:29,745
because they were
the teacher's pet?

37
00:01:33,883 --> 00:01:36,251
It was like the rest of
the class wanted Ms. McDonald

38
00:01:36,253 --> 00:01:38,003
to forget the quiz.

39
00:02:00,998 --> 00:02:06,998
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

40
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,679
Mrs. Davis.

41
00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:11,781
Guess who?

42
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,049
Dr. Cooper.

43
00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:15,217
That's right, good job.

44
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,720
Hello.

45
00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:19,889
Uh, you wanted
to see me?

46
00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:21,507
Yes. Uh, welcome back.

47
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:22,942
Thank you.

48
00:02:22,944 --> 00:02:25,561
I assume you'd like
to reopen our dialogue

49
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:28,397
about the university forcing me
to continue with string theory?

50
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,049
You mean the dialogue that went,

51
00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:33,536
"Please?"No."Please?"No."
"Please?"No."

52
00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:36,539
That's the one.

53
00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:41,160
I believe you went last,
so, uh, please?

54
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,914
Dr. Cooper, while you were away,
we came up with a solution

55
00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:47,333
that would allow you to change
your field of study.

56
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,085
Wow.

57
00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:52,221
Pouting and running away
actually worked.

58
00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:55,057
Yeah, I must say,
that may not be a lesson

59
00:02:55,059 --> 00:02:56,425
you want to reinforce with me.

60
00:02:58,061 --> 00:03:00,096
So, um, what is the solution?

61
00:03:00,098 --> 00:03:01,764
Currently, you're being paid
under a grant

62
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,733
to specifically research
string theory.

63
00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:05,685
If we promote you
to junior professor,

64
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,403
you'll be able to choose

65
00:03:07,405 --> 00:03:09,288
whatever field of research
you'd like.

66
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,510
But if I'm a professor,
then I'll have to teach a class.

67
00:03:14,512 --> 00:03:15,978
That is correct.

68
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,951
So your solution is to
promote me and pay me more money

69
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:23,836
so that I can impart
my knowledge

70
00:03:23,838 --> 00:03:25,871
to the next generation
of scientists?

71
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,239
Yes.

72
00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:30,626
You people are sick.

73
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:35,681
Hey.

74
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,049
Ready to go to lunch?

75
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,384
Just give me a minute.

76
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,769
I'm stimulating the pleasure
cells of this starfish.

77
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:40,970
I just need to turn it off.

78
00:03:40,972 --> 00:03:42,938
What happens
if you don't?

79
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,290
Then I have to sit through lunch

80
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,976
knowing this starfish is
having a better day than I am.

81
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,446
Is Bernadette meeting us
at the restaurant?

82
00:03:50,448 --> 00:03:53,382
Uh, no. Actually,
I didn't invite her.

83
00:03:53,384 --> 00:03:54,483
How come?

84
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,652
Well, ever since she helped me
get this job,

85
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:58,120
she won't stop bugging me.

86
00:03:58,122 --> 00:04:00,790
Well, I think she just wants you
to do well,

87
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:02,074
and she's worried that you won't

88
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:06,412
'cause you were just
a stunningly poor waitress.

89
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,713
That is not true.

90
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,432
I'm still waiting
on my mini corndogs

91
00:04:09,434 --> 00:04:11,550
from two years ago.

92
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:15,104
I told you,
they'll be right out.

93
00:04:15,872 --> 00:04:18,557
Okay, so no
Bernadette.

94
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,143
Well, you saw her the
other night. Am I wrong?

95
00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:22,344
No, I just...

96
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,231
I feel kind of uncomfortable
talking about her like this.

97
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:28,234
Usually when someone's being
talked about behind their back,

98
00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:31,020
it's me and it's right
in front of my face.

99
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:34,156
I-I'm sorry. I just need
a little break from her.

100
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:36,192
I understand.

101
00:04:36,194 --> 00:04:40,196
You know, there is
some research that indicates

102
00:04:40,198 --> 00:04:43,365
that sharing negative attitudes
about a third party

103
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,502
can be a powerful bonding force
between two friends.

104
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,371
So, what are
you saying?

105
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:52,091
I'm saying,
in the spirit of science,

106
00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:54,510
what is
that little skank's problem?

107
00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,132
So, I've been trying
to come up

108
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,051
with a cute couple's nickname
for me and Emily.

109
00:05:02,053 --> 00:05:03,719
What do you
like better...

110
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:07,022
Emippali...

111
00:05:07,024 --> 00:05:09,558
or Koothrapemily?

112
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,262
Why is it your last name
and her first name?

113
00:05:13,264 --> 00:05:15,231
Oh, well,
her last name is Sweeney,

114
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:19,568
and something just didn't seem
right about Koothrapeeney.

115
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,156
Hey, how'd it go
with human resources?

116
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,574
Awful.

117
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,910
Yeah, they're allowing me
to move on from string theory,

118
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,829
but they made me
a junior professor

119
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:32,131
and are requiring me
to teach a class.

120
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:34,917
I don't understand. Why is it
bad that you have to teach?

121
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,386
What a stupid question.

122
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:41,757
The kids are
gonna love him.

123
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,726
I can't believe
I have to waste my time

124
00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:45,895
babysitting a bunch
of grad students

125
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:49,899
who probably think dark matter
is what's in their diapers.

126
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,433
This might not be that bad.

127
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,602
Uh, you like telling people
they're wrong.

128
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,937
Wrong!

129
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,441
Just because I enjoyed that one
doesn't mean I always do.

130
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,994
You enjoy giving
people grades.

131
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:06,115
A valid point,
but unoriginal... B-minus.

132
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:08,284
And you love the sound
of your own voice.

133
00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:10,035
Yeah, well, of course I do.

134
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,170
Listen to it.

135
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:14,456
It's like an earful
of melted caramel.

136
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,675
Look, most importantly,

137
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,545
this will let you move on
and study dark matter.

138
00:06:20,664 --> 00:06:23,465
It is true that many of
my heroes have taken students

139
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,767
under their wings:

140
00:06:24,769 --> 00:06:28,103
Feynman, Einstein, Professor X.

141
00:06:28,105 --> 00:06:30,556
Humorously,

142
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,057
in the case of Professor X,

143
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,476
some of his students
actually had wings.

144
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,729
That's rich.

145
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,882
I'll use that one
to lighten the mood

146
00:06:39,884 --> 00:06:42,985
after my entire class
fails the midterm.

147
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,708
Measuring starfish
serotonin levels in response

148
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:53,829
to one point two molar
stimulation of pleasure cells.

149
00:06:55,599 --> 00:06:58,534
You like that, don't you?

150
00:06:58,536 --> 00:07:00,302
That's right, say my name.

151
00:07:04,025 --> 00:07:06,091
Hey.

152
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,843
Hey, what's going on?
Not much.

153
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,261
You want to get a drink later?

154
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,479
Just the two of us?

155
00:07:10,481 --> 00:07:11,481
No Penny?

156
00:07:11,482 --> 00:07:12,564
Not tonight.

157
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,766
I'm a little frustrated
with her.

158
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,651
Because you got her the job
and you think

159
00:07:15,653 --> 00:07:17,519
she should be working harder
to prepare for it?

160
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:21,190
So it's not just me.
You see it, too!

161
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,694
I do, I see it.

162
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:27,313
It's driving me crazy.

163
00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:29,164
Just this afternoon,
I saw on Instagram

164
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,583
that instead of studying,
she went out to lunch

165
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,335
and got a manicure.

166
00:07:34,237 --> 00:07:36,872
That's outrageous!

167
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,040
I know!

168
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,375
If she doesn't do well,

169
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,994
Th-this could reflect poorly
on you.

170
00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:45,397
Exactly. Does she not realize it
or does she not care?

171
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:46,615
I don't know.

172
00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:49,018
The important thing is
I am here for you

173
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:53,222
so we can mutually disparage
this unpleasing third party.

174
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:01,080
Hey. We just wanted to see

175
00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:02,815
how your class was going.
Where is everybody?

176
00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:05,367
There is no class.

177
00:08:05,369 --> 00:08:08,620
Did you send everyone to
the principal's office already?

178
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,907
No one signed up.

179
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,625
Well, that's not your fault.

180
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,962
I called the department
secretary to see what happened.

181
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,966
Apparently, I have a reputation
for being obnoxious.

182
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:24,353
What?

183
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,373
Hey, Sheldon, I'm sorry.

184
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,391
No, it's fine.

185
00:08:29,393 --> 00:08:33,729
Now I can devote all my time
to dark matter.

186
00:08:33,731 --> 00:08:36,732
Aw, you brought cookies
for everyone?

187
00:08:36,734 --> 00:08:38,100
Oh, yes. Fig Newtons.

188
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,853
which scientist both helped

189
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:44,273
to develop calculus and had
a famous cookie named after him?

190
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:45,741
And then after
someone said "Newton,"

191
00:08:45,743 --> 00:08:48,110
I was going to tell them
they're wrong.

192
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,781
The cookies are named
after a town in Massachusetts.

193
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,584
And then I'd throw
the cookies away.

194
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,204
Hey, what if I took your class?

195
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,124
Why would you do that?

196
00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:04,126
Yeah, why would you do that?
What's wrong with you?

197
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,012
I'm thinking about
getting my doctorate,

198
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,680
and he wants to teach... why not?

199
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,349
Oh, Howard.

200
00:09:10,351 --> 00:09:12,468
I appreciate
the gesture,

201
00:09:12,470 --> 00:09:15,137
but this is
a graduate-level physics class.

202
00:09:16,439 --> 00:09:18,140
I don't think you'd understand

203
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:21,193
a single thing
I was talking about.

204
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,030
Ask why not again;
I've got an answer.

205
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:28,784
Sheldon, I'm more than smart
enough to take your class.

206
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,905
No.

207
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,624
Yes.

208
00:09:37,127 --> 00:09:39,211
How would you determine
the ground state

209
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:42,331
of a quantum system
with no exact solution?

210
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,800
I would guess a wave-function
and then vary its parameters

211
00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:46,635
until I found
the lowest energy solution.

212
00:09:46,637 --> 00:09:48,804
Hmm.

213
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:52,391
Do you know how to integrate
X squared times E

214
00:09:52,393 --> 00:09:54,593
to the minus X,
without looking it up?

215
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,895
I'd use Feynman's trick...

216
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,330
differentiate
under the integral sign.

217
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,682
Okay.

218
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,018
Um...

219
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,404
What is the correct
interpretation

220
00:10:05,406 --> 00:10:06,905
of quantum mechanics?

221
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,907
Since every interpretation gives
exactly the same answer

222
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,859
to every measurement,
they are all equally correct.

223
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,195
However, I know you believe in
the Many Worlds Interpretation,

224
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:15,831
so I'll say that. Now do you
think I'm smart enough?

225
00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,752
No.

226
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,956
Oh, come on.
You might've gone to school

227
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,008
for a couple more years than me,
but guess what...

228
00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:28,043
engineers are just
as smart as physicists.

229
00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,546
You take that back!

230
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,185
No.

231
00:10:44,412 --> 00:10:45,862
So, after drinks
with Bernadette,

232
00:10:45,864 --> 00:10:48,865
I get home, and Penny calls
to complain about her.

233
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:50,500
And then while
I'm talking to Penny,

234
00:10:50,502 --> 00:10:51,918
I get a text from Bernadette.

235
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,871
Wh... I'm trying to prepare
my lesson plan for Howard.

236
00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:57,924
Why are you
telling me this?

237
00:10:57,926 --> 00:11:02,045
Because it's taken 15 years, but
high school is finally awesome!

238
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,716
I love them both,

239
00:11:05,718 --> 00:11:09,603
but I'm in the center now,
and I love that even more.

240
00:11:09,605 --> 00:11:12,389
Amy, please. I am trying
to figure out a way

241
00:11:12,391 --> 00:11:16,393
to intellectually emasculate
a dear friend of mine.

242
00:11:16,395 --> 00:11:18,695
But I'm just...
Not now.

243
00:11:18,697 --> 00:11:20,363
You better watch
that attitude, buddy.

244
00:11:20,365 --> 00:11:23,533
You're dating the
popular girl now.

245
00:11:26,571 --> 00:11:28,371
Hmm. You're up late.

246
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:31,074
Oh, I'm working on
my lesson plan for Wolowitz.

247
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:32,959
He is going to be so lost.

248
00:11:34,078 --> 00:11:35,996
Look at this section over here.

249
00:11:35,998 --> 00:11:39,332
Even I don't really
understand it.

250
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:42,302
Sheldon, why are you doing this?

251
00:11:42,304 --> 00:11:44,054
I'm a teacher, Leonard.

252
00:11:44,056 --> 00:11:45,388
It's my job.

253
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:47,257
No, I-I mean,

254
00:11:47,259 --> 00:11:49,092
why are you going
to so much trouble

255
00:11:49,094 --> 00:11:50,894
to prove that you're smarter
than Wolowitz?

256
00:11:50,896 --> 00:11:54,014
Oh, it's no trouble;
it's actually a pleasure.

257
00:11:54,849 --> 00:11:56,983
You want to know what I think?

258
00:11:56,985 --> 00:12:00,070
I think the idea that someone
could be as smart as you,

259
00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:02,656
or even smarter,
scares the pants off you,

260
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:04,324
and you can't deal with it.

261
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,994
Interesting point.

262
00:12:07,996 --> 00:12:09,863
Wh... You're
suggesting

263
00:12:09,865 --> 00:12:12,532
that I have emotional issues
below my consciousness

264
00:12:12,534 --> 00:12:14,184
which drive my behavior,

265
00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:17,170
thus causing me to lash out
at anything or anyone

266
00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:19,739
that threatens
my intellectual superiority.

267
00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:22,375
Might be something
to think about.

268
00:12:23,261 --> 00:12:24,628
Leonard?

269
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:26,213
Yeah.

270
00:12:26,215 --> 00:12:27,881
Howard's allergic to peanuts.

271
00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:29,966
How can I use that against him?

272
00:12:33,938 --> 00:12:35,272
Hey.

273
00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:39,226
Okay, now that everyone's here,
we can begin.

274
00:12:40,978 --> 00:12:43,797
Before we do,
I just talked to Leonard.

275
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:45,065
And if you're gonna

276
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:47,651
spend all your time
trying to belittle me

277
00:12:47,653 --> 00:12:50,537
by making this class
unnecessarily hard,

278
00:12:50,539 --> 00:12:52,489
then I'm out.

279
00:12:52,491 --> 00:12:53,907
But if you're interested
in making

280
00:12:53,909 --> 00:12:56,660
a sincere effort
to be a good teacher,

281
00:12:56,662 --> 00:12:59,462
then I'm willing
to give this a shot.

282
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:04,551
I suppose that's a fair request.

283
00:13:04,553 --> 00:13:08,004
There's no reason we both can't
benefit from this experience.

284
00:13:08,006 --> 00:13:09,573
Okay.

285
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:11,641
Okay.

286
00:13:11,643 --> 00:13:13,343
Well, then, uh,
first things first.

287
00:13:13,345 --> 00:13:17,097
Um, are you familiar with
the Brachistochrone problem?

288
00:13:17,099 --> 00:13:18,565
I am.
Good.

289
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:21,151
And how it relates
to the calculus of variations?

290
00:13:21,153 --> 00:13:22,519
It's an inverted cycloid.

291
00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:23,687
Wonderful.

292
00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:25,989
Now, what about
Euler-Lagrange theorems?

293
00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:27,324
That's where I'm a little fuzzy.

294
00:13:27,326 --> 00:13:29,359
Ha! I knew it! All right.

295
00:13:30,828 --> 00:13:33,864
We have a lot of information
to cover before your first test.

296
00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:36,700
Which, by the way,
is in eight minutes.

297
00:13:36,702 --> 00:13:39,336
The good news is I'm
grading on a curve,

298
00:13:39,338 --> 00:13:42,038
so you're pretty much
guaranteed a C.

299
00:13:50,048 --> 00:13:51,681
What are you doing?

300
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:53,049
If you're gonna be
a crappy teacher,

301
00:13:53,051 --> 00:13:54,801
then I'm gonna be
a crappy student.

302
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:01,558
Will you stop it!

303
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:02,893
This is a classroom.

304
00:14:02,895 --> 00:14:04,361
This is not American Bandstand.

305
00:14:04,363 --> 00:14:05,312
Okay.

306
00:14:05,314 --> 00:14:06,396
Now, where was I?

307
00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:07,347
Let's see.

308
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:08,365
Oh, yes. Over here.

309
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:09,566
You...

310
00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:12,485
What are you doing now?

311
00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:14,304
Making a straw.

312
00:14:14,306 --> 00:14:15,355
Why?

313
00:14:15,357 --> 00:14:18,708
So I can shoot you
with a spitball.

314
00:14:19,994 --> 00:14:22,746
You're not going to do that,
and I'll tell you why.

315
00:14:22,748 --> 00:14:24,915
This is an institution
of higher learning,

316
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,583
I am your professor,

317
00:14:26,585 --> 00:14:28,551
and you're going to treat me
with the prop...

318
00:14:33,891 --> 00:14:37,177
You shot your spit in my mouth!

319
00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,763
Is that gonna be on the test?

320
00:14:39,765 --> 00:14:42,015
Because I don't think
I can do that again.

321
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,686
Hey, girlfriend.

322
00:14:46,688 --> 00:14:49,940
Can I get a what what?

323
00:14:49,942 --> 00:14:51,908
What?

324
00:14:52,743 --> 00:14:54,077
Close enough.

325
00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:56,746
Um, I was just calling to see
what you were up tonight.

326
00:14:56,748 --> 00:14:58,865
Thought maybe we could hit up
Color Me Mine,

327
00:14:58,867 --> 00:15:02,202
maybe sneak in
some Pinot Greej. Whatevs.

328
00:15:02,204 --> 00:15:04,120
Uh, thanks, but I think
I'm gonna stay in

329
00:15:04,122 --> 00:15:05,956
and go over the stuff
Bernadette gave me.

330
00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:07,907
Oh. Oh, I hear you.

331
00:15:07,909 --> 00:15:10,493
Try and get that nag
off your back, right?

332
00:15:11,696 --> 00:15:13,063
I mean, you're not a bicycle;

333
00:15:13,065 --> 00:15:15,548
why's she riding you like that?

334
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,667
No, I think she was
just trying to help.

335
00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:20,437
Plus, I really want to do well
at this job. So...

336
00:15:20,439 --> 00:15:22,072
Okay, good luck.
And call me later,

337
00:15:22,074 --> 00:15:24,941
you know, if you decide
she's a bitch or something.

338
00:15:30,064 --> 00:15:32,148
Hey, girlfriend.

339
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:33,600
Hey, Amy.

340
00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:34,985
Tonight. You, me, Color Me Mine.

341
00:15:34,987 --> 00:15:39,155
Maybe we sneak in some Pinot...
make it Color Me Wine.

342
00:15:39,157 --> 00:15:41,458
That sounds fun,
but I promised Penny

343
00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,826
I'd come by and help her study.

344
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:45,628
Oh. Well, good luck
getting her to do that.

345
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:48,298
She's probably off
getting another manicure.

346
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,966
You remember when she did that?

347
00:15:49,968 --> 00:15:52,285
You remember?

348
00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:54,504
I was probably being
too hard on her.

349
00:15:54,506 --> 00:15:55,805
We talked, we're good.

350
00:15:55,807 --> 00:15:57,424
Oh. Great.

351
00:15:57,426 --> 00:15:58,942
I'm happy for you guys.

352
00:15:58,944 --> 00:16:00,727
You know, when the two of you
aren't getting along,

353
00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:03,813
it puts me in a really
weird position.

354
00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,999
Well, don't worry...
everything's back to normal.

355
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:09,102
You mean, like, where she's nice
to your face? Okay got it. Bye.

356
00:16:13,074 --> 00:16:15,175
Hey, boyfriend.

357
00:16:15,177 --> 00:16:16,693
Can't talk. Spitball.

358
00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:18,495
Probably gonna die.

359
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:26,669
Well?

360
00:16:26,671 --> 00:16:28,538
Sheldon, I-I promise.

361
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:31,841
Your uvula does not have an STD.

362
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,678
Are you sure?

363
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:39,716
It just doesn't feel as
innocent as it used to.

364
00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:43,937
You reported me
to human resources?

365
00:16:43,939 --> 00:16:47,891
You violated the sanctity
of my mouth.

366
00:16:47,893 --> 00:16:51,194
Well, I dropped your class,
so I hope you're happy.

367
00:16:51,196 --> 00:16:53,863
I told you you weren't
smart enough to take it.

368
00:16:53,865 --> 00:16:54,814
I'm smart enough, Sheldon.

369
00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:55,899
Asking me a bunch of questions

370
00:16:55,901 --> 00:16:57,117
about a topic
I'm not familiar with

371
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,068
doesn't prove anything.

372
00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:59,235
I could do the same to you.

373
00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:00,703
Yeah... Try me.

374
00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:03,289
Okay.

375
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:06,910
You enjoy making fun
of engineering so much;

376
00:17:06,912 --> 00:17:09,996
how do you quantify
the strength of materials?

377
00:17:09,998 --> 00:17:11,614
Young's modulus.

378
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,183
Is that right?

379
00:17:13,185 --> 00:17:15,452
Yeah.

380
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:20,390
Okay, how do you prevent
eddy currents in a transformer?

381
00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:22,642
Laminate the core material.

382
00:17:22,644 --> 00:17:23,726
Come on, give
him a hard one.

383
00:17:23,728 --> 00:17:25,595
That was a hard one.

384
00:17:26,764 --> 00:17:28,431
All right.

385
00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:32,018
How does the flow rate in a pipe
depend on its diameter?

386
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:36,239
You don't know, do you?

387
00:17:38,326 --> 00:17:39,742
What's the matter, smart guy?

388
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:42,078
Don't know Poiseuille's law?

389
00:17:47,751 --> 00:17:51,121
Thank goodness I got it!

390
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:56,259
Now I can quit
checking my stool.

391
00:18:00,131 --> 00:18:02,882
Okay, what are the
potential side effects

392
00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:04,984
for our erectile
dysfunction drug?

393
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:07,470
Headaches, dizziness and nausea.

394
00:18:07,472 --> 00:18:08,605
Yes.

395
00:18:08,607 --> 00:18:09,939
Those are also the side effects

396
00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:12,108
of having a 75-year-old man
with an erection

397
00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:13,810
climb on top of you.

398
00:18:13,812 --> 00:18:15,812
Want to stop here?

399
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:17,147
Uh, no.
I can keep going.

400
00:18:17,149 --> 00:18:18,348
Nah, you got this.

401
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,816
Let's go for a drink.
I'll call Amy.

402
00:18:19,818 --> 00:18:22,852
Okay, good. She seemed like she
really wanted to go out tonight.

403
00:18:31,629 --> 00:18:33,746
Hey, girl.

404
00:18:42,197 --> 00:18:46,233
Okay, next question,
for the Butterfinger:

405
00:18:46,235 --> 00:18:48,919
how long is a galactic yea

406
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,237
250 million years!

407
00:18:50,239 --> 00:18:50,821
Yes!

408
00:18:53,743 --> 00:18:58,078
Okay, this one is
for a Cadbury Creme Egg.

409
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,914
It's not even Easter time.

410
00:18:59,916 --> 00:19:02,082
This is crazy!

411
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:07,555
Which Archimedean solid
has 20 regular triangular faces,

412
00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:10,157
30 square faces,
12 pentagonal faces,

413
00:19:10,159 --> 00:19:13,878
60 vertices and 120 edges?

414
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,263
The Rhombicosidodecahedron!

415
00:19:16,265 --> 00:19:16,847
Yes!

416
00:19:19,569 --> 00:19:21,268
We are so smart!

417
00:19:21,270 --> 00:19:22,987
Why didn't girls like us
in high school?

418
00:19:22,989 --> 00:19:25,116
Because we were awkward and
weird and couldn't play sports!

419
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,271
Right again!

420
00:19:27,706 --> 00:19:33,706
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man