1
00:00:01,725 --> 00:00:03,658
I'm studying
one-celled organisms

2
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:05,026
to try and find
the neurochemicals

3
00:00:05,028 --> 00:00:06,495
that lead to the feeling
of shame.

4
00:00:06,497 --> 00:00:09,898
What would a one-celled organism
have to be embarrassed about?

5
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:13,402
Same as all of us, getting out
of a car without underwear.

6
00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:16,154
Speaking of underwear,

7
00:00:16,156 --> 00:00:17,956
I have some interesting news...

8
00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:19,958
Okay, if it's
sometimes Howie wears yours,

9
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,293
Leonard already told us.

10
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:25,514
He was being funny.

11
00:00:25,516 --> 00:00:27,249
I'm pretty sure.

12
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:31,837
Anyway, I was asked to be
a part of a magazine article

13
00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:35,073
about the 50 sexiest female
scientists in California.

14
00:00:35,075 --> 00:00:36,208
Isn't that cool?

15
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,743
I think it's awful.

16
00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:39,077
Why would you say that?

17
00:00:39,079 --> 00:00:41,913
Bernadette is a
successful microbiologist.

18
00:00:41,915 --> 00:00:44,716
She should be celebrated for
her achievements, not her looks.

19
00:00:44,718 --> 00:00:46,618
I mean, what kind of message
does that send?

20
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:50,355
I think the message is... "check
out the rack on that scientist."

21
00:00:52,192 --> 00:00:55,744
Why can't someone be thought
of as both smart and pretty?

22
00:00:55,746 --> 00:00:58,146
I just don't think
a professional woman should have

23
00:00:58,148 --> 00:01:01,049
to flaunt her sexuality
in order to get ahead.

24
00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:02,167
Okay, what's the big deal?

25
00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:03,802
Look, if it helps me make
a sale with a physician,

26
00:01:03,804 --> 00:01:05,086
I don't think it hurts
to flirt a little.

27
00:01:05,088 --> 00:01:07,973
I mean, laugh at their joke,
touch their arm,

28
00:01:07,975 --> 00:01:11,092
maybe crank up the AC
in the car beforehand, you know,

29
00:01:11,094 --> 00:01:13,295
to wake up the girls.

30
00:01:14,398 --> 00:01:16,731
Maybe it's different
in the world of sales,

31
00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:17,966
but it's already hard enough

32
00:01:17,968 --> 00:01:20,068
for women to be taken seriously
in science.

33
00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:22,537
I was kind of excited
about the article,

34
00:01:22,539 --> 00:01:24,272
but now you're making me
feel bad.

35
00:01:24,274 --> 00:01:27,025
No, I think you should do
whatever you want.

36
00:01:27,027 --> 00:01:28,443
You know, maybe
if fashion magazines had

37
00:01:28,445 --> 00:01:29,611
female scientists
in them,

38
00:01:29,613 --> 00:01:31,580
I would've become
a theoretical physicist.

39
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,033
Stop smirking
at each other.

40
00:02:00,446 --> 00:02:05,946
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

41
00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:15,621
Thank you.

42
00:02:15,623 --> 00:02:17,673
No, thank you.

43
00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:20,543
Delivery men are
the unsung foot soldiers

44
00:02:20,545 --> 00:02:21,811
of our nation's commerce.

45
00:02:21,813 --> 00:02:24,680
It's because
of people like you,

46
00:02:24,682 --> 00:02:28,351
people like me can limit
our human contact.

47
00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:31,270
I'd shake your hand,
but, well, you know.

48
00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:35,641
I'm not a delivery man,
I-I'm a doctor.

49
00:02:35,643 --> 00:02:37,393
Although I do
often deliver

50
00:02:37,395 --> 00:02:40,696
alarming biopsy results
to my patients.

51
00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,534
That's humorous.

52
00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:47,703
All right.

53
00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:52,658
Yeah, I-I bet you leave
your patients in stitches.

54
00:02:55,213 --> 00:02:58,581
That was
also humorous.

55
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,466
All right.

56
00:03:02,303 --> 00:03:04,420
Are you bringing
flowers to a patient

57
00:03:04,422 --> 00:03:07,339
to cushion the blow of
a terminal diagnosis?

58
00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:15,681
That wasn't a joke.

59
00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:18,651
All right.

60
00:03:18,653 --> 00:03:20,519
These are actually
for a nice woman

61
00:03:20,521 --> 00:03:22,688
who makes sales
calls to my office.

62
00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:24,657
Hmm.

63
00:03:24,659 --> 00:03:25,858
You know, they have
delivery people

64
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,027
that will do that
for you.

65
00:03:28,029 --> 00:03:30,946
I was hoping
to impress her

66
00:03:30,948 --> 00:03:32,448
by tracking her down
on the Internet

67
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:35,201
and then showing up
unannounced at her door.

68
00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:39,121
Making the extra effort.

69
00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:41,090
Good for you.

70
00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:51,550
Great timing,
food just got here.

71
00:03:51,552 --> 00:03:53,219
Ooh, Siam Palace?
Yes.

72
00:03:53,221 --> 00:03:55,387
Uh, mee krob and chicken satay?
Yes.

73
00:03:55,389 --> 00:03:57,389
Uh, extra peanut sauce?
No, but you can have mine.

74
00:03:57,391 --> 00:03:58,858
Eh, well, very well.

75
00:03:59,977 --> 00:04:04,146
Oh, and on the topic of
sharing things that are yours,

76
00:04:04,148 --> 00:04:05,648
there is a
gentleman caller

77
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,234
bringing flowers
to your fiancée as we speak.

78
00:04:08,236 --> 00:04:10,903
What?

79
00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:13,739
Why didn't you say that first?

80
00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:16,375
Why didn't you get
extra peanut sauce?

81
00:04:16,377 --> 00:04:18,577
We can both play this game.

82
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,913
Can I help you?

83
00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,081
Oh, hi.

84
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:23,716
Uh, does Penny live here?

85
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:25,818
May I ask why?

86
00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:28,137
Well, uh...

87
00:04:28,139 --> 00:04:30,589
I-I met her at my office,
she winked at me.

88
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:31,757
And, uh...

89
00:04:33,678 --> 00:04:38,147
I-I came hoping to initiate
a romantic relationship.

90
00:04:38,983 --> 00:04:41,600
Okay, um...

91
00:04:41,602 --> 00:04:43,936
Look, I'm pretty sure
she didn't wink at you.

92
00:04:43,938 --> 00:04:45,888
Oh, she did.

93
00:04:46,691 --> 00:04:48,858
Seductively, like this.

94
00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:55,447
And then she touched my arm
for two Mississippis.

95
00:04:55,449 --> 00:04:57,116
Like, you know,
one Mississippi, two...

96
00:04:57,118 --> 00:04:59,952
I got it, I got it.

97
00:04:59,954 --> 00:05:02,087
Listen, um...

98
00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:04,707
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.

99
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:06,675
See, Penny is my fiancée.

100
00:05:06,677 --> 00:05:08,961
Really?

101
00:05:10,131 --> 00:05:12,932
I've never seen her wear
an engagement ring.

102
00:05:14,068 --> 00:05:15,684
Really?

103
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,640
So, am I to presume

104
00:05:21,642 --> 00:05:24,710
that her flirtation was
just a sales technique?

105
00:05:24,712 --> 00:05:26,529
I think so.

106
00:05:26,531 --> 00:05:29,481
When will I learn?

107
00:05:29,483 --> 00:05:33,619
It's just like the cute girl
at the pet store all over again.

108
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:35,404
Excuse me?

109
00:05:35,406 --> 00:05:39,575
Oh, uh, she touched my arm
for five Mississippis,

110
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:42,628
and I bought
a $2,000 iguana habitat.

111
00:05:44,665 --> 00:05:48,717
Which she was always too busy
to come over and see.

112
00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:52,504
You give these to Penny.

113
00:05:52,506 --> 00:05:54,673
You're, you're a lucky man.

114
00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:57,509
Thank you.

115
00:05:57,511 --> 00:05:58,511
Sorry.

116
00:05:58,512 --> 00:06:00,229
Oh, uh...

117
00:06:00,231 --> 00:06:02,264
You probably don't want her
to see this.

118
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,400
It's unnecessarily graphic.

119
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:08,354
Hold on, Doctor.

120
00:06:08,356 --> 00:06:10,556
Leonard, where are
your social skills?

121
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:13,359
This man is
clearly upset.

122
00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:16,745
We should invite him
in for a hot beverage.

123
00:06:18,532 --> 00:06:20,532
He tried to score with Penny.

124
00:06:20,534 --> 00:06:24,870
So have these two, and they're
having dinner with us.

125
00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:31,710
So, how was
work today?

126
00:06:31,712 --> 00:06:33,846
It was fine,
but you'll be happy to know

127
00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,764
they pulled
the sexy scientists article.

128
00:06:35,766 --> 00:06:37,266
What happened?

129
00:06:37,268 --> 00:06:38,350
I don't know.

130
00:06:38,352 --> 00:06:40,386
They just canceled
the photo shoot

131
00:06:40,388 --> 00:06:41,387
and said they're rethinking it.

132
00:06:41,389 --> 00:06:43,772
Well, I'm
really sorry,

133
00:06:43,774 --> 00:06:45,891
but I think it's
for the best.

134
00:06:45,893 --> 00:06:48,277
You want people focusing
on your achievements,

135
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,729
not staring at your
breasts in some magazine.

136
00:06:50,731 --> 00:06:51,897
I guess.

137
00:06:51,899 --> 00:06:53,449
It's really not that important.

138
00:06:54,568 --> 00:06:56,568
Hey, up here.

139
00:06:58,322 --> 00:07:00,906
Sorry, we're...
we were talking about them.

140
00:07:02,827 --> 00:07:06,245
So, look, I-I wasn't going
to say anything,

141
00:07:06,247 --> 00:07:08,764
but since you seem to be okay
with the article being canceled,

142
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:10,132
I have a little confession.

143
00:07:10,835 --> 00:07:12,368
I'm the reason it was pulled.

144
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,253
What? How?

145
00:07:14,255 --> 00:07:16,422
I sent the editors
of the magazine

146
00:07:16,424 --> 00:07:18,107
a pretty scathing e-mail.

147
00:07:18,109 --> 00:07:19,758
Amy, what did you say?

148
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,593
I simply pointed out

149
00:07:21,595 --> 00:07:23,395
that they would never consider
doing an article

150
00:07:23,397 --> 00:07:25,648
ranking male scientists
on their sexuality,

151
00:07:25,650 --> 00:07:28,584
let alone showing them
in various stages of undress.

152
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,686
Because no one wants to see
Neil deGrasse Tyson

153
00:07:30,688 --> 00:07:34,390
in a wet T-shirt,
bent over the hood of a Porsche.

154
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:37,476
Well, it doesn't
make a difference,

155
00:07:37,478 --> 00:07:39,945
because they agreed it was
in bad taste,

156
00:07:39,947 --> 00:07:42,498
and now you agree, so...

157
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,700
Amy saves the day.

158
00:07:44,702 --> 00:07:47,586
No, what happened was
you got jealous,

159
00:07:47,588 --> 00:07:50,122
so you took away a chance
for me to get some publicity.

160
00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:52,091
But it was bad publicity.

161
00:07:52,093 --> 00:07:54,126
That's for me to decide,
not you.

162
00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:56,011
I disagree.

163
00:07:56,013 --> 00:07:59,798
As a female scientist, I think
what you do affects all of us.

164
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,266
And I think
you don't like people

165
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:02,301
expressing their sexuality

166
00:08:02,303 --> 00:08:04,186
because no one wants you
to express yours.

167
00:08:05,773 --> 00:08:08,023
Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry.

168
00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:09,475
That was over the line.

169
00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:11,777
You have a nice night.

170
00:08:11,779 --> 00:08:13,062
Please don't go.

171
00:08:13,064 --> 00:08:16,198
Up until my vicious attack,
you were the one in the wrong.

172
00:08:19,653 --> 00:08:21,370
Here you go, Doctor.

173
00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:24,206
Red Zinger
with one teaspoon of honey.

174
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,157
Thank you.

175
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,376
Neat Star Trek mug.

176
00:08:27,378 --> 00:08:28,994
I actually have
one of the phasers

177
00:08:28,996 --> 00:08:30,145
from the original TV show.

178
00:08:30,147 --> 00:08:31,680
Oh, cool.

179
00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:32,881
How'd you get that?

180
00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:36,468
Oh, easy, Gene Roddenberry
needed a vasectomy.

181
00:08:37,838 --> 00:08:39,254
Wait a minute.

182
00:08:39,256 --> 00:08:42,124
You've snipped
Gene Roddenberry's vas deferens?

183
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:43,892
Yes.

184
00:08:43,894 --> 00:08:47,479
Wow, he really went
where no man has gone before.

185
00:08:50,351 --> 00:08:53,102
I don't like to brag,
but, uh, you see,

186
00:08:53,104 --> 00:08:58,240
I'm kind of the doctor
to the stars' urinary tracts.

187
00:08:58,242 --> 00:09:01,693
Wow.

188
00:09:03,164 --> 00:09:05,581
Uh, you, you want to see
James Cameron's kidney stone?

189
00:09:09,954 --> 00:09:11,870
Ooh.

190
00:09:11,872 --> 00:09:16,008
He was so happy after he passed
it, he gave me a Terminator.

191
00:09:16,877 --> 00:09:18,710
That is amazing.

192
00:09:18,712 --> 00:09:20,212
How long have
you been collecting?

193
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:21,930
Ever since I was a kid,

194
00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:23,766
but, uh, I didn't really
get serious

195
00:09:23,768 --> 00:09:25,768
until William Shatner's
bladder infection.

196
00:09:27,321 --> 00:09:29,271
What'd you get?
What'd you get?

197
00:09:29,273 --> 00:09:32,057
Well, he said it was a tribble.

198
00:09:32,059 --> 00:09:33,225
It could be a toupee,

199
00:09:33,227 --> 00:09:35,394
but either way,
it's pretty cool.

200
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:38,981
I-I would love to
see your collection.

201
00:09:38,983 --> 00:09:40,616
Anytime.

202
00:09:40,618 --> 00:09:41,900
Uh, I've got some cool stuff.

203
00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:43,368
When I first started,

204
00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:45,404
I thought it would be
a good way to meet women,

205
00:09:45,406 --> 00:09:48,323
but, well, you know...

206
00:09:48,325 --> 00:09:51,009
- Sure. Preach.
- We know.

207
00:09:51,011 --> 00:09:54,246
Can I ask you
a personal question?

208
00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:56,498
Sure.

209
00:09:56,500 --> 00:10:00,302
Um, I mean,
you're a guy like me,

210
00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:02,921
so how'd you get
a girl like Penny?

211
00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:04,540
Oh.

212
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:07,142
Well, you know, just...

213
00:10:07,144 --> 00:10:09,761
being myself, really.

214
00:10:09,763 --> 00:10:10,896
Oh, please!

215
00:10:10,898 --> 00:10:12,347
You know, I'll tell you
how he did it.

216
00:10:12,349 --> 00:10:15,317
Implacable,
relentless badgering.

217
00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:18,270
In urology terms,

218
00:10:18,272 --> 00:10:20,989
he was a drug-resistant
staph infection.

219
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:25,110
And she was a urethra
that could not shake him.

220
00:10:26,764 --> 00:10:30,566
I don't know that I'd call
myself an infection.

221
00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:32,668
A gallant man would
defend his fiancée

222
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:34,536
for being called a urethra.

223
00:10:34,538 --> 00:10:38,157
Can we please
change the subject?

224
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,241
Hi.

225
00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:41,460
Well, that didn't
go your way.

226
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:46,298
Dr. Lorvis,
what are you doing here?

227
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,251
Uh, well, actually
I came to see you.

228
00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:50,686
Really? Why?

229
00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:53,889
Ah, that's a good question.

230
00:10:53,891 --> 00:10:56,725
Apparently someone was
being awfully flirty

231
00:10:56,727 --> 00:10:58,310
while not wearing
their engagement ring,

232
00:10:58,312 --> 00:10:59,811
causing another
someone to show up

233
00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:01,947
here thinking the first
someone might be available.

234
00:11:01,949 --> 00:11:03,982
Oh, God. Don't make it
so hard on her.

235
00:11:03,984 --> 00:11:06,768
Look, the first someone
is the deceitful you.

236
00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,453
The second someone

237
00:11:08,455 --> 00:11:11,823
is the delightful
Dr. Lorvis.

238
00:11:11,825 --> 00:11:13,375
Oh, this is very embarrassing.

239
00:11:13,377 --> 00:11:15,377
Dr. Lorvis, I am so sorry.

240
00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:17,379
I did not mean to lead you on.

241
00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:20,832
You touched my arm
for two Mississippis.

242
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,084
Oh.

243
00:11:22,086 --> 00:11:25,671
That's why you were
mumbling "Mississippi."

244
00:11:25,673 --> 00:11:27,339
Can we talk in private?

245
00:11:27,341 --> 00:11:28,156
Please, yes.

246
00:11:28,158 --> 00:11:30,342
I'll be right back.

247
00:11:31,395 --> 00:11:32,928
So what other

248
00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:35,981
celebrity genitalia
have you handled?

249
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,684
So, uh, what's the deal?

250
00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:40,769
You take off your ring
when you go to work?

251
00:11:40,771 --> 00:11:42,271
What? No! No!

252
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:44,072
I just put it
on the other hand and...

253
00:11:44,074 --> 00:11:46,525
turn it around.

254
00:11:46,527 --> 00:11:49,027
Keep that hand in my pocket.

255
00:11:49,029 --> 00:11:50,412
Why?

256
00:11:50,414 --> 00:11:51,496
Well, what do you mean why?

257
00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:52,498
Look, I make more sales

258
00:11:52,499 --> 00:11:53,832
if these doctors
think I'm single.

259
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:55,417
I did the same kind of
thing as a waitress.

260
00:11:55,419 --> 00:11:58,337
The real question is, what is
he doing in your apartment?

261
00:11:58,339 --> 00:11:59,504
Oh, he was upset.

262
00:11:59,506 --> 00:12:03,191
So Sheldon invited him
in for a hot beverage.

263
00:12:03,193 --> 00:12:04,459
You were okay with that?

264
00:12:04,461 --> 00:12:05,377
No. I got upset!

265
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:08,547
And Sheldon made me
a beverage, too.

266
00:12:08,549 --> 00:12:10,716
Okay, he just
showed up at my door.

267
00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:12,017
Don't you think
that's a little weird?

268
00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:14,603
A little, but... he's
basically harmless.

269
00:12:14,605 --> 00:12:16,605
He's actually kind of a nice guy.
Okay.

270
00:12:16,607 --> 00:12:18,357
Whatever, look,
my company does not allow me

271
00:12:18,359 --> 00:12:19,808
to socialize with doctors
outside of work.

272
00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:20,976
You got to get rid of him.

273
00:12:20,978 --> 00:12:23,612
Why am I the one that
has to get rid of him?

274
00:12:23,614 --> 00:12:25,647
I can't do it!
He's my best client!

275
00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:27,983
All right, I'll
get rid of him.

276
00:12:27,985 --> 00:12:29,818
But you owe me one.

277
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,120
Hey, we're going to Oliver's
house to see his collection.

278
00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:33,122
You want to go with us?

279
00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:35,207
Yeah, sure.

280
00:12:36,076 --> 00:12:37,876
You owe me.

281
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,404
Oh, my God!

282
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:58,026
Leonard, I was wrong.

283
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,528
Heaven does exist.

284
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,797
And it's in the basement
of a urologist's house

285
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,399
in Sherman Oaks.

286
00:13:06,236 --> 00:13:09,387
Welcome to
my Fortress of Solitude.

287
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,223
This is where I go
to get away from...

288
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:15,093
all my other solitude.

289
00:13:16,646 --> 00:13:18,429
Oh, come on.
It's a replica.

290
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,014
Original.

291
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:24,169
Oh, I think I just
cheated on my wife.

292
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:27,922
The gun from Hellboy?

293
00:13:27,924 --> 00:13:29,107
Yup.

294
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,325
How did you get it?

295
00:13:30,327 --> 00:13:31,426
Bought it at auction.

296
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:33,745
Oh, I was hoping
for a juicy tidbit

297
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:36,614
about Ron Perlman's testicles.

298
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:40,401
Oliver! I'm going to play bingo!

299
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,287
Okay, Mother. Have fun.

300
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,538
Still lives with his mom.

301
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:46,374
Yikes, right?

302
00:13:46,376 --> 00:13:50,195
Yeah, I'm not quite
sure how to respond.

303
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,631
Wow, Donkey Kong!

304
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,934
This-this was my game
when I was a kid!

305
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:56,901
Because it's a story

306
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,519
of a pretty blonde girl

307
00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:01,940
tirelessly pursued
by a small, oddly-shaped man?

308
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,945
No, because I liked it.

309
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,813
Well, now, don't get defensive.

310
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,516
You're oddly-shaped,
but you got the girl.

311
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:16,321
So, I've noticed Leonard
gets teased a lot

312
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,906
about his relationship
with Penny.

313
00:14:17,908 --> 00:14:20,291
Yes. If you'd like to join in,

314
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:23,661
the premise is their love seems
unlikely and doomed to failure.

315
00:14:25,215 --> 00:14:27,849
So, you think
she'll be single soon?

316
00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:30,084
Oh, if you want
to get in on the pool,

317
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,336
you're too late...

318
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,338
All the squares
have been purchased.

319
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,007
Interesting.

320
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,226
Excuse me, I have to
take care of something.

321
00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:50,154
Leonard, as your friend I feel

322
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,707
I should tell you something.
What?

323
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:55,276
I'm still upset
about that peanut sauce.

324
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,198
Oh, could you
hold the door?

325
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,450
Nice flowers.
Thank you.

326
00:15:02,452 --> 00:15:03,952
They're for a girl.

327
00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:07,956
Uh, I'm being implacable
and relentless.

328
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:11,559
Isn't she lucky?

329
00:15:11,561 --> 00:15:13,678
She keeps sending me
mixed signals.

330
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,097
But I-I think we both
want the same thing.

331
00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:17,348
What's that?

332
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,184
Unconditional love.

333
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,886
I guess that's
all anybody wants.

334
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,471
I guess so.

335
00:15:23,473 --> 00:15:26,557
Well, I hope you get it.

336
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,227
One Mississippi,
two Mississippi.

337
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:38,770
Next game,
let's switch helmets.

338
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,939
No, I'd look silly
in that helmet.

339
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,413
I-I can't take these.

340
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,415
Well, why not?

341
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,833
I mean, you want what I want.

342
00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:54,919
And we had
two wonderful Mississippis.

343
00:15:56,673 --> 00:15:58,923
But what about
the other girl?

344
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,675
Oh, right.

345
00:16:00,677 --> 00:16:01,843
I'll tell her

346
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:04,062
we should just be friends.

347
00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:11,019
Dr. Lorvis?

348
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:13,488
Penny, we should
just be friends.

349
00:16:14,324 --> 00:16:17,325
Happy?

350
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,786
You think he bites?

351
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,590
Stick your hand in there
and find out.

352
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,959
You fooled me with that
goat at the petting zoo.

353
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,463
You will not fool me again.

354
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,465
I wonder where Dr. Lorvis is.

355
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,632
He's been gone a while.

356
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:45,219
Maybe he's playing
bingo with his mommy.

357
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,271
It's sad how some guys

358
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,108
can't cut the apron strings.

359
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,010
Okay, now you're
messing with me.

360
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,148
Uh, guys, we're locked in here.

361
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,018
Oh, this day just
keeps getting better!

362
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,692
So, you just left them alone
playing games in your house?

363
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,644
Well, they seemed happy and...

364
00:17:09,646 --> 00:17:11,612
I thought
that would give me time

365
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,732
for you and I to get
to know each other better.

366
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:20,271
That was before we met.

367
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:24,175
We all have a past.

368
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,927
Doc, you've got to see what
you're doing

369
00:17:25,929 --> 00:17:27,612
is-is a little creepy.

370
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,063
You sound just
like Sigourney Weaver

371
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:31,833
when I followed her
into a restroom.

372
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:35,019
Okay, you can't
just go chasing after

373
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,737
every girl who's nice to you.

374
00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:38,473
Well, that's not
what Sheldon says.

375
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,776
And he seems to know
his way around the ladies.

376
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,366
Hey, Leonard. Guess who's back!
Dr. Lorvis!

377
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,618
Yeah. You care to join us?

378
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:51,953
What?

379
00:17:51,955 --> 00:17:53,621
You locked them
in your basement?

380
00:17:55,024 --> 00:17:56,707
Well, they're,
they're not locked in.

381
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,292
The door just sticks.

382
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,511
Okay, so how do they unstick it?

383
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,481
They'd need the key.

384
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,301
Okay.

385
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,219
Nope. That's it.

386
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,054
We are gonna go
over there right now.

387
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,223
And you are going
to let them out.

388
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,774
Three Mississippi,
four Mississippi...

389
00:18:13,776 --> 00:18:16,811
Move it!

390
00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,532
Oh, good, you're here.

391
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,317
Amy, I am so sorry.

392
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,069
That has to wait.
This weirdo locked

393
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,071
the guys up in his basement.
What?

394
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,990
She seems nice. Who's she?
Just walk.

395
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:42,185
You can do this.

396
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:44,520
One ladder left!

397
00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:46,438
Oh-ho! Yeah!
Yes!

398
00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:47,607
Next level!

399
00:18:47,608 --> 00:18:49,725
Leonard, are you okay?
Better than okay.

400
00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:52,144
I am having the game of my life!

401
00:18:53,981 --> 00:18:55,814
Dr. Lorvis, isn't there
something you want to say?

402
00:18:55,816 --> 00:18:56,982
Yes.

403
00:18:56,984 --> 00:18:59,234
I'm very sorry
for locking you in my home.

404
00:18:59,236 --> 00:19:00,352
Yeah, that was very uncool.

405
00:19:00,354 --> 00:19:01,370
Get the hammer!
Get the hammer!

406
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:02,404
Got it.

407
00:19:05,626 --> 00:19:07,042
Okay, Leonard, let's go!

408
00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:09,344
J-Just hang on!

409
00:19:09,346 --> 00:19:10,779
Well, while we wait,

410
00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:14,283
would you like to see Tobey
Maguire's prostate sonogram?

411
00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:16,552
Sure.
Yeah.

412
00:19:16,554 --> 00:19:18,053
Oh, spoiler alert.

413
00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:19,605
Uh, he was worried
about nothing.

414
00:19:24,266 --> 00:19:30,766
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man