1
00:00:02,092 --> 00:00:05,494
Come on, he's an
underappreciated genius.

2
00:00:05,496 --> 00:00:07,963
Still think it's me.

3
00:00:07,965 --> 00:00:09,564
It's not you.

4
00:00:09,566 --> 00:00:12,267
Now think, there's
a car named after him.

5
00:00:12,269 --> 00:00:13,502
Of course there is.

6
00:00:13,504 --> 00:00:15,604
The Mini Cooper,
'cause it's me.

7
00:00:17,841 --> 00:00:19,708
How about this:

8
00:00:19,710 --> 00:00:21,843
he's a poor man's
Sheldon Cooper.

9
00:00:21,845 --> 00:00:23,478
Oh, Tesla.

10
00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:25,347
- Hi.
- Hey! - Hello.

11
00:00:25,349 --> 00:00:26,882
How'd it go?
Oh, not fun.

12
00:00:26,884 --> 00:00:30,051
The doctor shoved a camera
up into my sinuses.

13
00:00:30,053 --> 00:00:32,187
Yeah, I watched. It was like
the scary boat tunnel

14
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:34,289
in Willy Wonka.

15
00:00:35,592 --> 00:00:37,659
Did they figure out what's wrong?
Yeah.

16
00:00:37,661 --> 00:00:38,627
It's a deviated septum.

17
00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:39,761
The surgery
to correct it is simple.

18
00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:40,962
He's gonna do it next week.

19
00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:42,898
Why would you have surgery?

20
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:44,599
Because I can't breathe.

21
00:00:44,601 --> 00:00:47,102
I snore, I get sinus
infections...

22
00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:49,604
Yeah, back off,
he's all mine.

23
00:00:49,606 --> 00:00:51,873
But you don't have
a life-threatening condition.

24
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,775
Why would you
take the risk of surgery?

25
00:00:53,777 --> 00:00:55,577
Sheldon, it's a routine
procedure.

26
00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:57,679
I've heard you complain
about his snoring.

27
00:00:57,681 --> 00:00:59,881
We... Yes, for the first
five or six years,

28
00:00:59,883 --> 00:01:01,783
but I've gotten used to it.

29
00:01:02,386 --> 00:01:03,785
It helps me sleep.

30
00:01:03,787 --> 00:01:06,455
He's like my mucus-powered
white noise machine.

31
00:01:07,691 --> 00:01:09,624
Sheldon, I'm gonna get
the surgery, it's no big deal.

32
00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:10,725
End of story.

33
00:01:10,727 --> 00:01:12,274
Very well.
I'm done talking about it.

34
00:01:12,274 --> 00:01:13,091
Thank you.

35
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,730
I believe it was
your turn in the game.

36
00:01:14,731 --> 00:01:16,064
Okay.

37
00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:18,900
Let's see...

38
00:01:18,902 --> 00:01:21,670
Oh, this person is most famous

39
00:01:21,672 --> 00:01:22,838
for never having gotten

40
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,774
his nose mutilated
with elective surgery

41
00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:28,276
and never living the rest
of his life in the shadows

42
00:01:28,278 --> 00:01:30,111
as a hideous, disfigured freak.

43
00:01:31,415 --> 00:01:33,715
I think you could
give a better clue.

44
00:01:33,717 --> 00:01:34,816
I don't.

45
00:01:34,818 --> 00:01:38,019
I'm not even sure if
that's a person or a typo.

46
00:02:01,794 --> 00:02:08,294
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

47
00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:24,933
Okay, why?

48
00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:27,035
I'm listening to you snore.

49
00:02:27,037 --> 00:02:30,238
I'm wondering how
I'll ever sleep without it.

50
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,974
If it helps you sleep,

51
00:02:32,976 --> 00:02:34,910
then why are you sitting here
staring at me

52
00:02:34,912 --> 00:02:37,279
like the albino boogeyman?

53
00:02:38,749 --> 00:02:40,415
Really, Leonard... insults?

54
00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:42,150
After I spent two hours
in your closet,

55
00:02:42,152 --> 00:02:43,585
waiting for you to fall asleep?

56
00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:47,989
What's your problem?

57
00:02:47,991 --> 00:02:52,060
If the surgery is successful,
the snoring is gone.

58
00:02:52,062 --> 00:02:54,596
And if you die during surgery...

59
00:02:55,332 --> 00:02:57,966
the snoring is gone.

60
00:02:59,036 --> 00:03:02,371
It sounds like either way,
I finally get some rest.

61
00:03:02,373 --> 00:03:04,306
I have to be honest
with you Leonard,

62
00:03:04,308 --> 00:03:05,974
I'm truly worried.

63
00:03:05,976 --> 00:03:08,877
I-I told you, there's
nothing to worry about.

64
00:03:08,879 --> 00:03:10,445
Well, I've been
doing some research

65
00:03:10,447 --> 00:03:12,981
and I've learned that
one in 700,000 people

66
00:03:12,983 --> 00:03:15,283
die from general anesthesia.

67
00:03:15,285 --> 00:03:17,986
Buddy, w... Do you realize that
that also means

68
00:03:17,988 --> 00:03:21,957
699,999 people don't die?

69
00:03:24,128 --> 00:03:25,694
I suppose that's true.

70
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,898
You're such a glass
half-full kind of guy.

71
00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:34,269
I'm going to miss that.

72
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:40,108
Oh, so, my, uh, parents'
40th anniversary's coming up

73
00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:42,310
and I can't think
of a thing to get them.

74
00:03:42,312 --> 00:03:43,745
Damn, can you imagine

75
00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:47,516
being married to someone
for 40 years?

76
00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:52,320
Not anymore.

77
00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,827
Anyway, any ideas on a gift?

78
00:03:58,829 --> 00:04:00,962
Well, what are some
of the things they like?

79
00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:03,365
They used to like
going to the Mumbai Symphony,

80
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,667
but last year my mom thought
they were phoning it in.

81
00:04:05,669 --> 00:04:06,902
Then my dad said
based on their

82
00:04:06,904 --> 00:04:10,138
love life, she should know
about phoning it in.

83
00:04:11,086 --> 00:04:12,075
He said that to her?

84
00:04:12,099 --> 00:04:13,643
Well, they weren't
speaking at the time,

85
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,477
so he had a servant
say it to her.

86
00:04:15,479 --> 00:04:18,613
Oh, maybe I could
make a gift for them.

87
00:04:18,615 --> 00:04:22,017
I know how much you guys love
the coasters I made for you.

88
00:04:24,388 --> 00:04:26,988
They're yours in the divorce.

89
00:04:31,328 --> 00:04:33,094
Hey. What're you working on?

90
00:04:33,096 --> 00:04:34,996
Remember when I said
if you went through

91
00:04:34,998 --> 00:04:38,600
with your surgery, there was a
one-in-700,000 chance of dying?

92
00:04:38,602 --> 00:04:40,802
Yeah...?

93
00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:42,504
Well, I've been
crunching the numbers,

94
00:04:42,506 --> 00:04:45,841
and so far, I've gotten
your probability of death

95
00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:47,509
all the way to a
sphincter-tightening

96
00:04:47,511 --> 00:04:50,078
one in 300.

97
00:04:51,615 --> 00:04:52,981
Great timing.

98
00:04:52,983 --> 00:04:55,851
My "check sphincter"
light just went on.

99
00:04:55,853 --> 00:04:58,653
Leonard, what if you have
an allergic reaction

100
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:01,022
to the surgeon's latex gloves?
I'm not

101
00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:02,290
allergic to latex.

102
00:05:02,292 --> 00:05:03,925
Well, then why don't you
wear the rubber gloves

103
00:05:03,927 --> 00:05:05,560
I bought for you
to do the dishes?

104
00:05:05,562 --> 00:05:09,064
For the same reason I don't
wear the apron or the hair net.

105
00:05:09,066 --> 00:05:12,000
Fine. What about epilepsy?

106
00:05:12,002 --> 00:05:13,768
I don't have epilepsy, either.

107
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,204
You don't,
but the surgeon might, hmm?

108
00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:19,708
And your carotid artery is just
one shaky scalpel away

109
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:23,245
from becoming the dancing
fountain at Disneyland.

110
00:05:23,247 --> 00:05:26,615
Sheldon, do you realize that
driving is riskier than surgery?

111
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,851
I do. I have the drive
to the hospital right here.

112
00:05:29,853 --> 00:05:31,186
That is if
you make it

113
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:34,022
to the car without
falling down the stairs.

114
00:05:34,024 --> 00:05:37,058
And don't expect me to carry
you, I do that enough in life.

115
00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:39,995
Buddy, I-I get that
you're worried about me

116
00:05:39,997 --> 00:05:42,898
and I-I appreciate that,
but I'm not going to die.

117
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,533
You don't know that.
Well...

118
00:05:44,535 --> 00:05:48,036
I do know that it won't
be from an asteroid strike.

119
00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:50,839
You know who else said that?

120
00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:52,841
Every cocky T. Rex
currently swimming around

121
00:05:52,843 --> 00:05:54,910
in the gas tank of your car.

122
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,546
I-If there was
an asteroid strike,

123
00:05:57,548 --> 00:05:58,747
wouldn't you die, too?

124
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,482
I don't know...
I'm smart and scrappy,

125
00:06:00,484 --> 00:06:02,817
I think I'd find a way.

126
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,621
Tell you what...
the surgery's not for a week,

127
00:06:06,623 --> 00:06:07,856
I'll think about it.

128
00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:10,659
Thank you. And while
you're thinking about it,

129
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,761
if you have the surgery
in Nicaragua during

130
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,362
monsoon season,
I can practically

131
00:06:14,364 --> 00:06:15,764
guarantee your death.

132
00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:23,738
Yes. Okay.

133
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:25,373
I-I understand.

134
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:26,708
Of course, yes.

135
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,743
I'll call you tomorrow.

136
00:06:28,745 --> 00:06:30,545
Bye.

137
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:33,782
So I found this fencing school
in Burbank

138
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:36,184
that has a Jedi class.

139
00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:39,888
And if you're cool
being the only adults there,

140
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:42,157
they said they are.

141
00:06:43,093 --> 00:06:44,759
Dude, my parents just split up.

142
00:06:44,761 --> 00:06:47,629
What?
Uh, that was my dad on the phone.

143
00:06:47,631 --> 00:06:49,564
He moved out.

144
00:06:49,566 --> 00:06:52,467
Oh, my God, I... I'm sorry.

145
00:06:52,469 --> 00:06:55,370
I mean, if you're not up to it,
we don't have to go out,

146
00:06:55,372 --> 00:06:57,339
we can just hang here.
No,

147
00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:59,507
it's fine.
It's not that big a deal.

148
00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:01,810
As long as they're happy,
I'm happy.

149
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,045
And when I get to see them
for the holidays,

150
00:07:04,047 --> 00:07:06,114
I'll get to celebrate
Diwali twice...

151
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,716
one at each house.

152
00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:12,220
That's double the Diwali.

153
00:07:13,156 --> 00:07:14,456
You sure you're okay?

154
00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:15,557
I'm okay.

155
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:16,791
You don't look okay.

156
00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:19,294
How can I be okay?
I come from a broken home.

157
00:07:21,932 --> 00:07:24,366
The doctor said I should be
out of surgery by 10:00.

158
00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:25,834
Okay.

159
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:29,604
And Sheldon really believes
we're at a public swimming pool?

160
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:33,975
He was so busy figuring out
how many parts per million

161
00:07:33,977 --> 00:07:36,778
of urine we'd be floating around
in, he didn't even question it.

162
00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:41,349
18 parts per million.

163
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,686
And he's still doing it.

164
00:07:44,688 --> 00:07:47,389
Don't worry about that.
I'm happy to take you to work.

165
00:07:47,391 --> 00:07:48,823
Well, thank you.

166
00:07:48,825 --> 00:07:52,260
And Leonard never lets me have
French toast sticks in the car.

167
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:54,362
I can't have syrupy fingers,

168
00:07:54,364 --> 00:07:57,332
but he can do the backstroke
in a toilet bowl.

169
00:07:58,635 --> 00:08:01,069
It's nice they're
getting exercise.

170
00:08:02,139 --> 00:08:04,339
Although now that
I think about it,

171
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:06,508
Leonard would never
go swimming in public

172
00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:09,110
without his swim shirt.

173
00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:11,279
I'm sure he brought it.

174
00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:13,348
No, but last year,
at Magic Mountain,

175
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:15,016
he got such a bad sunburn,

176
00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:17,786
we had to cut him out of it.

177
00:08:18,989 --> 00:08:21,022
He probably got a new one.
Finish your breakfast.

178
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,924
Look, there's an entire
section of my dashboard

179
00:08:22,926 --> 00:08:24,726
that doesn't have
any syrup on it.

180
00:08:25,595 --> 00:08:28,530
You're acting odd. Why?

181
00:08:28,532 --> 00:08:31,666
I'm odd all the time,
everyone knows that.

182
00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:33,134
Just last night,

183
00:08:33,136 --> 00:08:36,271
I tried to see how many fava
beans I could fit in my mouth.

184
00:08:37,741 --> 00:08:38,940
Tell me the truth.

185
00:08:38,942 --> 00:08:41,543
28.
Come on.

186
00:08:41,545 --> 00:08:44,279
Fifty-six.

187
00:08:44,281 --> 00:08:45,513
Amy!

188
00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:47,982
What's going on?

189
00:08:47,984 --> 00:08:49,918
All right.

190
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,086
Don't get upset, but...

191
00:08:51,088 --> 00:08:54,389
an earlier appointment
opened up for Leonard

192
00:08:54,391 --> 00:08:58,059
and he's getting
the surgery right now.

193
00:09:01,698 --> 00:09:03,898
I see.

194
00:09:08,972 --> 00:09:10,405
Take me to Leonard.

195
00:09:10,407 --> 00:09:12,507
Just go to work,
he'll be fine.

196
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:15,343
Amy, he's my best friend,
and if you don't take me,

197
00:09:15,345 --> 00:09:16,911
I'm going there anyway.

198
00:09:16,913 --> 00:09:20,014
Fine.

199
00:09:20,016 --> 00:09:22,617
It's sweet that you
care about him so much.

200
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:23,852
I do.

201
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,520
And I wouldn't
be able to forgive myself,

202
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:27,822
if something happened to him
and I wasn't at his bedside

203
00:09:27,824 --> 00:09:30,091
to say, "I told you so."

204
00:09:46,783 --> 00:09:48,049
Hello.

205
00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:49,817
We had a really nice swim.

206
00:09:49,819 --> 00:09:51,085
Oh, stop it.

207
00:09:51,087 --> 00:09:54,522
I assume this medical
center's already treated

208
00:09:54,524 --> 00:09:57,558
the burns on your bottom
from the recent pants fire.

209
00:09:58,795 --> 00:10:00,995
'Cause I'm a liar, liar?

210
00:10:00,997 --> 00:10:03,097
That's for the fire marshal
to determine.

211
00:10:05,101 --> 00:10:06,133
You had to tell him?

212
00:10:06,135 --> 00:10:07,668
He wore me down.

213
00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,003
And I was distracted.

214
00:10:09,005 --> 00:10:12,006
He has on
extra baby powder today.

215
00:10:12,008 --> 00:10:13,474
Is he okay?

216
00:10:13,476 --> 00:10:15,476
He's still in surgery.

217
00:10:16,813 --> 00:10:18,679
Very well.

218
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:21,115
He's gonna be all right.

219
00:10:21,117 --> 00:10:23,284
That is sticky.

220
00:10:25,121 --> 00:10:26,787
Come on,
let's talk about something

221
00:10:26,789 --> 00:10:27,955
other than the surgery.

222
00:10:27,957 --> 00:10:29,557
That's a good idea.

223
00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,928
Penny, did you and Leonard ever
discuss funeral arrangements?

224
00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:37,899
I think she meant
something a little happier.

225
00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:42,336
I suppose we could try
to make it a celebration,

226
00:10:42,338 --> 00:10:44,672
but he died so young.

227
00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:50,011
Knock, knock.
Hi.

228
00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:51,012
Hey.
What brings you by?

229
00:10:51,014 --> 00:10:52,680
Oh...

230
00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:55,516
muffin much.

231
00:10:56,352 --> 00:10:58,452
Told you... not funny.

232
00:10:58,454 --> 00:11:00,454
He's just not laughing

233
00:11:00,456 --> 00:11:05,026
because he's feeling...
blue berry.

234
00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:09,597
Tough crowd.

235
00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:11,132
I'm sorry.

236
00:11:11,134 --> 00:11:12,867
This is very sweet. Thanks.

237
00:11:12,869 --> 00:11:14,001
So, how you doing?

238
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,236
Better. I guess

239
00:11:15,238 --> 00:11:17,571
the news just hit me
a lot harder than I expected.

240
00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:18,940
Well, of course.

241
00:11:18,942 --> 00:11:21,375
I would be devastated
if my parents split up.

242
00:11:21,377 --> 00:11:24,812
Why? Your father barely
speaks to your mother.

243
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,247
Well, at least
he stuck around,

244
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:28,082
not like your dad,
who just took off.

245
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:31,385
As you can see, we're
here to cheer you up.

246
00:11:32,455 --> 00:11:34,088
Sorry, Raj.

247
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:35,790
Do you have any sense of
what happened with your folks?

248
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:39,760
I think, over time, they started
to resent each other,

249
00:11:39,762 --> 00:11:41,262
and instead of talking
about the things

250
00:11:41,264 --> 00:11:43,230
that bothered them,
they kept it bottled up,

251
00:11:43,232 --> 00:11:45,232
and the hate just grew.

252
00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:48,069
It's a shame they spent
all that time unhappy.

253
00:11:48,071 --> 00:11:49,971
But sometimes,

254
00:11:49,973 --> 00:11:52,606
there's muffin
you can do about it.

255
00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:56,777
You get it, right?

256
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:02,717
Oh, it's nice
you got him that.

257
00:12:02,719 --> 00:12:04,485
Oh, this isn't
for Leonard, no.

258
00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:07,088
Amy bought it for me.

259
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:12,226
Stubbed his toe on the
revolving door on the way in.

260
00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:14,996
You know those confounded
things make me dizzy.

261
00:12:14,998 --> 00:12:18,165
Who told you
to keep going around?

262
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:20,134
There was a large
plant in the lobby.

263
00:12:20,136 --> 00:12:22,103
It kept looking
like the outside.

264
00:12:23,106 --> 00:12:24,772
Okay, listen,
when Leonard comes out,

265
00:12:24,774 --> 00:12:26,340
he is not gonna feel great,

266
00:12:26,342 --> 00:12:28,509
so, please don't
give him a hard time.

267
00:12:28,511 --> 00:12:29,710
Penny has a good point.

268
00:12:29,712 --> 00:12:31,746
This is like the man
in the supermarket

269
00:12:31,748 --> 00:12:33,414
with the goiter on his neck.

270
00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:36,317
Whatever you're thinking,
just keep it to yourself.

271
00:12:36,319 --> 00:12:39,787
It was like a grapefruit.

272
00:12:39,789 --> 00:12:41,622
And I'm sure he knew that

273
00:12:41,624 --> 00:12:44,625
before you held
a grapefruit up next to it.

274
00:12:44,627 --> 00:12:46,394
Well, I'm not
making any promises.

275
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:49,363
Not only did Leonard take what
I feel is an unnecessary risk,

276
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:50,598
he deceived me.

277
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,099
Okay, the reason
he deceived you is

278
00:12:52,101 --> 00:12:53,768
you were being
a pain in the ass.

279
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:56,003
The reason I was being
a pain in the B is

280
00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,239
because I was worried about
him, and no one else was.

281
00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:00,007
Really? You won't
even say "A"?

282
00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:02,009
You bet your
sweet B I won't.

283
00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:03,778
Obviously, I care
about Leonard.

284
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,313
I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life with him.

285
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:08,015
And I'm not?

286
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,319
It's an earthquake.

287
00:13:12,321 --> 00:13:13,554
I knew it.

288
00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:15,256
Sheldon, it was
just a little tremor.

289
00:13:15,258 --> 00:13:18,159
A little tremor that turns
routine sinus surgery

290
00:13:18,161 --> 00:13:21,095
into a frontal
lobotomy.

291
00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:26,000
Oh, I don't care
for this at all.

292
00:13:26,002 --> 00:13:28,702
Oh, I need to
see he's okay.

293
00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,504
Sheldon, you can't
go back there.

294
00:13:30,506 --> 00:13:32,306
Try and stop me!

295
00:13:34,377 --> 00:13:36,243
Are you okay?

296
00:13:36,245 --> 00:13:38,379
Why didn't you stop me?

297
00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:42,750
Can I tell you
something?

298
00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:45,086
This whole thing
with Raj's parents

299
00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:47,621
just got me
a little worried about us.

300
00:13:47,623 --> 00:13:50,224
What are you talking about?
We're fine.

301
00:13:50,226 --> 00:13:51,258
And Raj's parents

302
00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:54,228
probably split up
because of Raj.

303
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:55,896
What?

304
00:13:55,898 --> 00:13:58,599
They always say the children
aren't to blame, but...

305
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,502
Come on.

306
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,906
I'm not joking, Howie.

307
00:14:05,908 --> 00:14:07,541
You heard what he said
about his parents.

308
00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:09,743
It was the little things
they kept bottled up.

309
00:14:09,745 --> 00:14:12,213
I don't want that
to happen to us.

310
00:14:12,215 --> 00:14:14,348
How can I convince you it won't?

311
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:17,952
Well, is there anything about me
you're keeping inside?

312
00:14:17,954 --> 00:14:19,854
I'm not answering that.

313
00:14:19,856 --> 00:14:22,923
It's a trap.

314
00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:26,393
So there are things
you don't like.

315
00:14:26,395 --> 00:14:29,396
And here I am in the trap.

316
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,800
You just keep talking.

317
00:14:32,802 --> 00:14:35,302
I'm gonna chew my leg off.

318
00:14:35,304 --> 00:14:37,505
Just tell me one thing
that bothers you,

319
00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,073
and I promise I won't get mad.

320
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:42,243
Okay. The truth is...

321
00:14:42,245 --> 00:14:44,378
sometimes... you're too...

322
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,380
beautiful.

323
00:14:46,382 --> 00:14:47,982
Oh.

324
00:14:47,984 --> 00:14:50,417
Howie, be serious.

325
00:14:50,419 --> 00:14:52,386
Okay, okay.

326
00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:54,655
I really don't like

327
00:14:54,657 --> 00:14:56,891
how your wings poke me
when we sleep

328
00:14:56,893 --> 00:14:59,727
'cause you're an angel.

329
00:15:01,264 --> 00:15:03,397
Okay, fine,
maybe it was a bad idea.

330
00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:06,133
I just don't think the secret
to a happy marriage

331
00:15:06,135 --> 00:15:08,669
is going out of our way
to criticize each other.

332
00:15:08,671 --> 00:15:11,972
Although, there are ways
to improve our communication.

333
00:15:11,974 --> 00:15:14,909
One thing I learned when
I was in couples therapy was...

334
00:15:14,911 --> 00:15:16,143
Who were you

335
00:15:16,145 --> 00:15:17,311
in couples therapy with?

336
00:15:17,313 --> 00:15:19,480
Not important.

337
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:21,715
Was it your mom?

338
00:15:21,717 --> 00:15:23,317
Not important.

339
00:15:23,319 --> 00:15:25,853
It was your mom.

340
00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:29,089
Anyway, the therapist had us
tell each other

341
00:15:29,091 --> 00:15:31,759
what we loved about one another.

342
00:15:31,761 --> 00:15:33,494
Oh, that's so sweet!

343
00:15:33,496 --> 00:15:35,162
I want to do that.

344
00:15:35,164 --> 00:15:36,497
All right.

345
00:15:36,499 --> 00:15:38,432
Okay, um...

346
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:41,435
I love that you make me laugh.

347
00:15:41,437 --> 00:15:43,170
Thank you.

348
00:15:43,172 --> 00:15:48,008
And I love that you're strong
and independent.

349
00:15:48,010 --> 00:15:51,078
And yet, I still love
when you hold a door for me.

350
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,982
I love that I'm kind of a slob
around here, and...

351
00:15:54,984 --> 00:15:57,218
you're okay with that.

352
00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:02,223
Uh-huh.

353
00:16:03,492 --> 00:16:06,427
And I love that I work
and do all the cleaning,

354
00:16:06,429 --> 00:16:08,796
and you're okay with that.

355
00:16:08,798 --> 00:16:11,265
See, I am.

356
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:13,334
Isn't this great?

357
00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:17,705
Come on, smile.

358
00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,673
This is gonna be
my Christmas card.

359
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:27,948
You know this is
all your fault.

360
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,452
How is it my fault?

361
00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:33,387
I told you not to
get the surgery.

362
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:36,824
Okay, first of all,
the surgery was a success,

363
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,260
and secondly,
I didn't even want you there.

364
00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:42,963
Wow. I don't know
which hurts worse...

365
00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:45,132
my nose or my heart.

366
00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:47,635
Well, I'm done
speaking to you.

367
00:16:47,637 --> 00:16:48,769
Don't be like that.

368
00:16:48,771 --> 00:16:50,771
You two need to
talk this out.

369
00:16:50,773 --> 00:16:53,107
Yeah, 'cause
you sound really funny.

370
00:16:55,511 --> 00:16:58,178
Sheldon, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about the surgery,

371
00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:00,214
but you were worried
about nothing.

372
00:17:00,216 --> 00:17:02,449
Oh, you're hardly
out of the woods, no.

373
00:17:02,451 --> 00:17:05,286
You still run the risk of
infection, a blood clot,

374
00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:07,655
the possibility that
an inattentive surgeon

375
00:17:07,657 --> 00:17:10,591
let a barn spider
lay eggs in your nose.

376
00:17:12,461 --> 00:17:15,229
The minute you sneeze web,
I'm moving out.

377
00:17:15,231 --> 00:17:17,731
I never thought
I'd say these words,

378
00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:19,933
but come on, nose spider!

379
00:17:21,637 --> 00:17:22,569
Who are you kidding?

380
00:17:22,571 --> 00:17:23,771
You were so panicked

381
00:17:23,773 --> 00:17:25,506
Leonard was gonna die,
you'll never leave him.

382
00:17:25,508 --> 00:17:27,541
Sheldon will move out
eventually.

383
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:30,010
Yeah, once he figures out
how to work a door.

384
00:17:31,213 --> 00:17:35,049
I was not panicked, and I am
not overly attached to Leonard.

385
00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:37,217
You were so worried
that you smashed your face

386
00:17:37,219 --> 00:17:38,385
trying to check on me.

387
00:17:38,387 --> 00:17:39,853
You love me.

388
00:17:41,057 --> 00:17:42,356
Yeah. Tell me

389
00:17:42,358 --> 00:17:43,857
those aren't the
words of a man

390
00:17:43,859 --> 00:17:45,893
with a spider eating its
way through his brain.

391
00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:48,696
Amy, you're a neuroscientist.

392
00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:51,365
Crack his skull open,
spray some Raid in there.

393
00:17:54,036 --> 00:17:56,303
I love that you take pride
in your looks,

394
00:17:56,305 --> 00:17:57,304
even when I have

395
00:17:57,306 --> 00:17:58,605
to pee in the morning,

396
00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:01,408
and you're in there
spending an hour on your hair.

397
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:05,846
I love that you're too good
to pee in the kitchen sink.

398
00:18:05,848 --> 00:18:08,449
I love
that you have the confidence

399
00:18:08,451 --> 00:18:12,486
to speak, even without giving it
an ounce of thought.

400
00:18:13,456 --> 00:18:16,090
And I love how your hair
is always on the soap.

401
00:18:16,092 --> 00:18:18,659
It's like washing myself
with a hamster.

402
00:18:20,196 --> 00:18:23,197
Hey, guys.
Sorry I am so late.

403
00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:26,233
I was on the phone
with my mother.

404
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,267
Oh, how is she?

405
00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:28,402
Pretty good.

406
00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:30,437
She bought the book
Eat, Pray, Love

407
00:18:30,439 --> 00:18:33,774
and used it to set my father's
Mercedes on fire.

408
00:18:35,444 --> 00:18:38,879
So, what's up with you guys?

409
00:18:38,881 --> 00:18:41,749
We're just saying all the things
we love about each other.

410
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:44,685
Oh, like you and I
did at couples therapy.

411
00:18:57,295 --> 00:18:58,494
Ooh, what'd you get?

412
00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:00,729
Oh, I ordered it
before your surgery.

413
00:19:00,731 --> 00:19:04,366
It's the urn I was going
to put you in.

414
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:06,702
Okay, that's morbid.

415
00:19:06,704 --> 00:19:07,970
Send it back.

416
00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:12,441
I can't send it back...
I had it engraved.

417
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,045
"Here lie the ashes
of Leonard Hofstadter.

418
00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:20,482
He thought he was right,
but his roommate knew better."

419
00:19:22,252 --> 00:19:23,786
That's funny.

420
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,788
Boy, I'm gonna miss
these painkillers.

421
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:29,091
Hey, why did you get two?

422
00:19:29,093 --> 00:19:32,094
"I'm with stupid."
Oh, that one's mine.

423
00:19:32,096 --> 00:19:38,596
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man