1
00:00:00,466 --> 00:00:02,331
Hey, would you like
to hear some songs

2
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:05,798
I've rewritten to get children
interested in the hard sciences?

3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,998
Sure.
Really?

4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,998
Yeah. Well, I like
music, I like science,

5
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,098
I like making fun
of Sheldon. Hit it.

6
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,798
Uh, okay, okay.
Uh, we-we get it.

7
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,732
Perhaps you'd prefer this one.

8
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:49,698
That's pretty cool, Sheldon.
Thank you.

9
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,031
Do either of you know Beyoncé?

10
00:00:52,033 --> 00:00:53,964
I'd love her to get behind it.

11
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,832
Hey.

12
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:57,264
Hey. - Hey.
Hello.

13
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,231
You guys know the new
Discovery class missions

14
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,598
that NASA's been working on?
Yeah.

15
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,832
Well, they're looking
to include a message from Earth

16
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:05,607
in case one of them
is encountered by alien life.

17
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,264
Oh.

18
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,264
When I encountered alien life,
I-I discovered

19
00:01:08,266 --> 00:01:11,798
that the key thing
was not to sit in its spot.

20
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,565
All right, you can't breathe
our air without an inhaler,

21
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,365
he's allergic
to Earth nuts,

22
00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:18,531
but I'm the alien.

23
00:01:18,533 --> 00:01:20,531
Anyway,

24
00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:22,331
I'm among a handful
of scientists

25
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,665
that have been asked to submit
a design proposal

26
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,765
for the message
and its delivery system.

27
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,798
Excellent. - Congratulations.
Good for you.

28
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,865
And I was wondering
if any of you guys

29
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:32,765
would like
to help me do it.

30
00:01:32,767 --> 00:01:34,998
Are you kidding? Yes.
What did you have in mind?

31
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,765
I'll tell you exactly what you
avoid the presumption

32
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:40,798
- of the Terran sensory input paradigm.
- Yeah, absolutely.

33
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,665
You need a device capable
of delivering information

34
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,431
across a wide range
of perceptual modalities.

35
00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:48,031
Any intelligent organism
would at the very least need

36
00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:50,365
the ability to locate the
position of objects in space.

37
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:54,198
So the ideal interstellar
lingua franca would be haptic.

38
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,298
Ooh, how about a 3-D
tactile communicator rigged

39
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,964
for cross-sensory transposition?

40
00:01:57,966 --> 00:01:59,064
Exactly what I expected.

41
00:01:59,066 --> 00:02:00,765
Two people
forcing their ideas on me

42
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:02,665
and only one gentleman
who could be bothered

43
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:04,131
to ask me what my thoughts were.

44
00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:06,164
You two are out.
Congratulations, Leonard,

45
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:07,931
you're on the team.

46
00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:11,632
My mommy raised a gentleman.

47
00:02:35,862 --> 00:02:40,857
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

48
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,620
Hey. Thanks
for coming by.

49
00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:44,320
Yeah. I'm excited to help.

50
00:02:44,322 --> 00:02:46,053
I would have included
the others, but...

51
00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:47,620
you know exactly
what would've happened.

52
00:02:47,622 --> 00:02:50,053
They would've taken over the
project and bossed us around.

53
00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:51,520
I get it.

54
00:02:51,522 --> 00:02:54,053
Uh, just this morning, Sheldon
wouldn't let me put almond milk

55
00:02:54,055 --> 00:02:55,287
on my Grape-Nuts because he said

56
00:02:55,289 --> 00:02:58,354
it was
a theoretical nut conflict.

57
00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:00,721
You should have told him
to mind his own business.

58
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,220
Yeah. That's better
than what I did say, which was,

59
00:03:03,222 --> 00:03:05,987
"Fine, I'll eat them
with club soda."

60
00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:09,587
What makes them think they're
always in charge of everything?

61
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,754
Mmm, they're alpha males.

62
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,354
What does that make us?

63
00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,487
We could be betas.
They're second in charge.

64
00:03:14,489 --> 00:03:15,454
Okay, that sounds good.

65
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,687
Or we could be omegas.

66
00:03:16,689 --> 00:03:19,454
They get pushed around
by the alphas and the betas.

67
00:03:19,456 --> 00:03:21,786
Okay, that sounds like us.

68
00:03:21,788 --> 00:03:24,053
Whatever. There's
no alphas here,

69
00:03:24,055 --> 00:03:25,853
and this is
your project.

70
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:27,920
You're in charge.
How do you want to start?

71
00:03:27,922 --> 00:03:30,953
I don't know.
How do you want to start?

72
00:03:31,788 --> 00:03:34,220
I don't know.

73
00:03:37,556 --> 00:03:40,053
Should we call Sheldon
and Howard?

74
00:03:40,055 --> 00:03:41,721
No. We can do this by ourselves.

75
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,454
Okay. Great.
How do you want to start?

76
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:45,053
I don't know.
How do you want to start?

77
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,721
Sheldon. Sheldon.

78
00:03:52,723 --> 00:03:54,886
Sheldon.

79
00:04:01,189 --> 00:04:04,087
I bet that started off
as a joke,

80
00:04:04,089 --> 00:04:06,721
but by the third one
you realized

81
00:04:06,722 --> 00:04:10,420
there was something
strangely enjoyable about it.

82
00:04:10,422 --> 00:04:13,920
Yeah, I kind of want
to do it again.

83
00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:16,620
I don't recommend it. You'll be
doing it the rest of your life.

84
00:04:18,356 --> 00:04:21,220
Anyway, if you're looking for
Leonard, he's with Koothrappali.

85
00:04:21,222 --> 00:04:22,853
Uh, no, I actually came
to talk to you.

86
00:04:22,855 --> 00:04:25,287
How nice.

87
00:04:26,656 --> 00:04:28,287
Here are some topics
that interest me:

88
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:31,554
quantum mechanics, trains, flags...
No, no.

89
00:04:31,556 --> 00:04:33,920
It's about my acting career.
Oh, sorry.

90
00:04:33,922 --> 00:04:35,220
That's not on the list.

91
00:04:35,222 --> 00:04:36,886
Well...
Oh, wait. No.

92
00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:38,053
How about
we split

93
00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:41,053
the difference
and discuss why Austria

94
00:04:41,055 --> 00:04:44,720
was an archduchy
and not just a regular duchy.

95
00:04:44,722 --> 00:04:47,720
Okay, look, here's the thing.
I like pharmaceutical sales...

96
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,020
it's going great... but I have
an audition for a movie,

97
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:52,053
and if I get it,
it could screw everything up.

98
00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:55,320
Hmm. I know
exactly what you should do.

99
00:04:55,322 --> 00:04:57,753
Unfortunately,
I cannot tell you.

100
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,253
Well, why?

101
00:05:01,255 --> 00:05:03,253
I'm attempting
to turn over a new leaf.

102
00:05:03,255 --> 00:05:05,020
Earlier today,
it was pointed out to me

103
00:05:05,022 --> 00:05:07,620
that I tend to force my ideas
on people.

104
00:05:09,022 --> 00:05:10,987
You're really
not gonna tell me?

105
00:05:10,989 --> 00:05:14,220
No, that train has left
the station.

106
00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:15,487
Now, we can
play this

107
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,686
one of two ways.

108
00:05:16,688 --> 00:05:19,454
You can say,
"Trains, tell me more,"

109
00:05:19,456 --> 00:05:20,554
or...

110
00:05:20,556 --> 00:05:22,686
you can just look at me
like that

111
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:24,554
and I'll start.

112
00:05:28,622 --> 00:05:30,320
What's going on
in here?

113
00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:33,253
I am making molecular cocktails.

114
00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:37,020
This sphere is actually
a cosmopolitan.

115
00:05:37,022 --> 00:05:38,153
Oh.

116
00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:39,354
How do you drink it?

117
00:05:39,356 --> 00:05:42,454
Oh, just put it in your
mouth and pop it like a zit.

118
00:05:43,822 --> 00:05:46,120
I think I'll have a beer.

119
00:05:46,122 --> 00:05:47,587
First take a
picture with me.

120
00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:48,371
Why?

121
00:05:48,395 --> 00:05:50,652
Well, Raj and I always
talked about learning

122
00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:55,053
how to make cocktails like this
together, so I taught myself

123
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,853
and I'm putting this on
Instagram so he can see it

124
00:05:57,855 --> 00:06:01,354
and feel like a turd.
Say cheese.

125
00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:04,120
Is this about the space probe
he's working on without you?

126
00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:05,686
You betcha. The very one.

127
00:06:07,556 --> 00:06:09,087
Howard, you're grown men.

128
00:06:09,089 --> 00:06:11,187
You guys don't have
to do everything together.

129
00:06:11,189 --> 00:06:15,153
I know. That's why I'm
spending tonight with you.

130
00:06:15,155 --> 00:06:17,287
Trying to hurt Raj's feelings.

131
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,387
With my honeybunch.

132
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,120
You're being childish.

133
00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:23,987
No. He is.

134
00:06:23,989 --> 00:06:26,287
So I have a dominant
personality.

135
00:06:26,289 --> 00:06:28,220
We all know that.

136
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,619
I'm sorry. What do we know?

137
00:06:31,621 --> 00:06:33,586
In social groupings,

138
00:06:33,588 --> 00:06:37,786
I just naturally wind up
in charge.

139
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,720
Don't take this the wrong way,
but how many

140
00:06:39,722 --> 00:06:42,187
of these little booze balls
have you had?

141
00:06:43,022 --> 00:06:44,820
You don't think I'm a leader?

142
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:47,287
I was kidding.
Of course you are.

143
00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:49,487
Right. I couldn't change
if I wanted to.

144
00:06:49,489 --> 00:06:52,619
You better not change,
because I love who you are.

145
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,220
Now, will you need help cleaning
all this up when you're done

146
00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:57,187
or can you do it
all by yourself?

147
00:06:57,189 --> 00:06:58,720
All by myself.

148
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,020
There's my big boss man.

149
00:07:04,289 --> 00:07:07,920
So, often on the front
of the locomotive

150
00:07:07,922 --> 00:07:10,920
is a large iron wedge

151
00:07:10,922 --> 00:07:13,320
for clearing objects
off the tracks.

152
00:07:13,322 --> 00:07:16,087
Now, while commonly
known as a cowcatcher,

153
00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:20,087
I prefer the more
accurate "cow exploder"

154
00:07:21,322 --> 00:07:24,053
Okay. Sheldon,
let me ask you a question.

155
00:07:24,055 --> 00:07:26,253
Mmm.
If I was at a train station

156
00:07:26,255 --> 00:07:28,853
and one train could take me
to my current job

157
00:07:28,855 --> 00:07:31,886
and the other train could take
me to an audition for a movie,

158
00:07:31,888 --> 00:07:34,253
which train should I get on?

159
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:41,586
Are you using trains to trick me
into giving you advice?

160
00:07:41,588 --> 00:07:44,253
No.

161
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,886
All right, then.

162
00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:49,153
You should take a third train

163
00:07:49,155 --> 00:07:51,487
where you audition
for the movie

164
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:53,519
but hold off
on making a career decision

165
00:07:53,521 --> 00:07:55,354
until you have more information.

166
00:07:55,356 --> 00:07:57,020
Oh. You're right.

167
00:07:57,022 --> 00:07:59,420
I'm worried about something
that hasn't even happened yet.

168
00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:00,786
Huh.

169
00:08:00,788 --> 00:08:03,519
You are a wise man.

170
00:08:03,521 --> 00:08:05,686
Well, Penny, who's smarter:
the wise man

171
00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:10,053
or the person who comes to him
for advice?

172
00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:12,820
Oh, I guess you're right.

173
00:08:12,822 --> 00:08:15,053
Maybe it is the person who asks.

174
00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:17,519
No, it's the wise man.

175
00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:24,220
That's why he's called
the wise man.

176
00:08:24,222 --> 00:08:26,586
You know how I know that?

177
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:29,053
I'm the wise man.

178
00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:32,387
I'm sorry. What was I thinking?

179
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:33,953
Uh, just out
of curiosity,

180
00:08:33,955 --> 00:08:36,018
why didn't you ask Leonard
for advice about this?

181
00:08:36,488 --> 00:08:37,920
'Cause I already know
what he'll say.

182
00:08:37,922 --> 00:08:40,953
"Wah, wah, wah,
you shouldn't do it."

183
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:43,387
It's just like he's here!

184
00:08:45,888 --> 00:08:47,853
Okay, so we know
that previous attempts

185
00:08:47,855 --> 00:08:50,020
to send a message into space,
like the Golden Record

186
00:08:50,022 --> 00:08:52,220
on Voyager,
were heavily criticized.

187
00:08:52,222 --> 00:08:53,820
Well, aliens could only play
the Golden Record

188
00:08:53,822 --> 00:08:55,820
if they figured out
how to build a record player.

189
00:08:55,822 --> 00:08:59,153
Eh. Although, to be fair,
I watched E.T. build a telephone

190
00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:01,519
out of a Speak & Spell
and an umbrella.

191
00:09:02,555 --> 00:09:05,519
Dude was like
a little brown MacGyver.

192
00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:07,720
That would be more helpful
if E.T. were real.

193
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:12,820
Well, my feelings were real
when he was about to die.

194
00:09:12,822 --> 00:09:17,287
My God, when he's on the table
and they use the paddles on him.

195
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:18,619
And he's all white.

196
00:09:18,621 --> 00:09:20,387
They zip him up in that bag.

197
00:09:20,389 --> 00:09:23,120
And Gertie can't stop crying.

198
00:09:23,122 --> 00:09:24,853
The flower dies.

199
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,287
Okay, let's talk
about something else.

200
00:09:27,289 --> 00:09:29,653
All right, all right.
So it-it sounds

201
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,120
like we need a way
to communicate that's simple.

202
00:09:32,122 --> 00:09:34,120
And doesn't require
outside machinery

203
00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:35,586
to be built to access it.

204
00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:37,619
It's also a problem
because we don't even know

205
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,387
if the aliens
who find this can see.

206
00:09:39,388 --> 00:09:40,586
I mean, they might
communicate

207
00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:42,287
in a totally
different way than us.

208
00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:44,253
Like when my dog is mad at me,

209
00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:47,153
she tells me
by peeing in my slippers.

210
00:09:47,155 --> 00:09:50,653
That's actually a valid example.

211
00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:53,320
Animals do deliver messages
through scent.

212
00:09:53,322 --> 00:09:55,087
Bees talk to each other
by dancing.

213
00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:56,253
Whales have their songs.

214
00:09:56,255 --> 00:09:58,853
Penny has about 20 different
ways of rolling her eyes

215
00:09:58,855 --> 00:10:00,987
that each mean
something different.

216
00:10:00,989 --> 00:10:03,486
Okay, so, what it
sounds like is,

217
00:10:03,488 --> 00:10:04,820
what we want is a device

218
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:06,953
that can deliver a message
through not only sight,

219
00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:08,354
but other senses, as well.

220
00:10:08,356 --> 00:10:11,519
The most basic sense that any
space-faring civilization

221
00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:13,586
would have to possess is touch.

222
00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:15,619
Ooh. Ooh, ooh!

223
00:10:15,621 --> 00:10:17,853
We could make
a video-playing device

224
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,953
that simultaneously translates
the information

225
00:10:19,955 --> 00:10:21,686
into a tactile medium.

226
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,320
All we have to do is rig up
a 3-D communication system!

227
00:10:24,322 --> 00:10:25,419
We-we can totally do that!

228
00:10:25,421 --> 00:10:27,087
I know!
This is great!

229
00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:28,253
Yeah, you know what else it is?
What?

230
00:10:28,255 --> 00:10:30,053
Exactly what Sheldon
and Howard said.

231
00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:35,020
Well, thank you
for peeing in my slippers.

232
00:10:52,829 --> 00:10:57,261
Hang on. Not that your song
isn't terrible... it is...

233
00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:02,094
but how do you mention bats
and leave out sonar?

234
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,027
You didn't let me finish.

235
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,393
Hey.

236
00:11:13,395 --> 00:11:14,527
Hello.

237
00:11:14,529 --> 00:11:16,693
Look,

238
00:11:16,695 --> 00:11:19,693
I know you guys are upset,
but we've talked about it,

239
00:11:19,695 --> 00:11:21,227
and we think it'd be beneficial

240
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:23,527
for you to be part
of the project.

241
00:11:24,495 --> 00:11:27,960
Well, well, well,
did you hear that, Sheldon?

242
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:30,426
I'm sorry. I was trying
to think of what rhymes

243
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:33,060
with "nose of the aardvark."

244
00:11:33,062 --> 00:11:34,393
We want you

245
00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:36,493
back on the project with us.

246
00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:41,560
Well, well, well, did
you hear that, Howard?

247
00:11:41,562 --> 00:11:42,827
Look, we admit it.

248
00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:45,360
The idea that you guys came
up with was really good,

249
00:11:45,362 --> 00:11:47,360
and I'd love
your help.

250
00:11:47,362 --> 00:11:50,360
I suppose it couldn't have been
easy for you to say that.

251
00:11:50,362 --> 00:11:53,460
It wasn't, so...
are you in?

252
00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:56,393
Certainly.
Sure. Great.

253
00:11:56,395 --> 00:11:58,693
Now that we're all
on the same page,

254
00:11:58,695 --> 00:12:00,493
let's get together tonight
and work on it.

255
00:12:00,495 --> 00:12:01,693
"Get together tonight"?

256
00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:03,160
Leonard, stop trying
to control everything,

257
00:12:03,162 --> 00:12:05,860
and give poor Raj a chance to
come up with what we should do.

258
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:06,960
Go ahead, Raj.

259
00:12:06,962 --> 00:12:08,860
Okay, I think
we should do it right now.

260
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,260
Tonight works better for me.

261
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,693
Okay.

262
00:12:18,328 --> 00:12:20,827
Okay, it's just an audition.

263
00:12:20,829 --> 00:12:22,493
Why am I nervous?

264
00:12:22,495 --> 00:12:23,860
Maybe it's a good thing.

265
00:12:23,862 --> 00:12:25,760
Just means I want it.

266
00:12:25,762 --> 00:12:27,326
And I can have it.

267
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:28,760
This feels right.

268
00:12:28,762 --> 00:12:30,960
Why did I ever give this up?

269
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:38,293
I'm starting to remember.

270
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:43,094
So, I'd like
to try a technique

271
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,760
where no one gets steamrolled.

272
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,293
When you talk,

273
00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:49,226
instead of bringing up
a new idea, respect what was

274
00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:52,060
just said by building on it.

275
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,793
Uh, building on that...
Mm-hmm.

276
00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:56,393
we should order dinner.

277
00:12:56,395 --> 00:12:58,693
How is that building
on what he just said?

278
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,193
Building on what Sheldon said,
I could go for Chinese.

279
00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:03,927
Hang on.
Building on what Leonard said,

280
00:13:03,929 --> 00:13:05,326
no one built on what I said.

281
00:13:05,328 --> 00:13:07,260
Building on "building on that"

282
00:13:07,262 --> 00:13:09,593
there's a new build-your-own
pizza place on Colorado.

283
00:13:10,729 --> 00:13:12,160
Building on that,
I'd like to remind you,

284
00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:13,260
I'm lactose intolerant.

285
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:14,994
I saw the menu.
They have soy cheese.

286
00:13:14,996 --> 00:13:17,426
Ha, ha! You didn't say
"building on." You're out!

287
00:13:17,428 --> 00:13:19,127
It's not Simon Says.

288
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:20,894
Yeah, you're missing the point, Sheldon.
You're out, and you're out.

289
00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:22,393
I win! Who wants pizza?

290
00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:28,260
Penny?

291
00:13:28,262 --> 00:13:29,627
Oh, hey.
Hey.

292
00:13:29,629 --> 00:13:31,527
I haven't seen you
auditioning in a while.

293
00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:34,293
Yeah, uh, I got a job
as a pharmaceutical sales rep.

294
00:13:34,295 --> 00:13:36,393
You quit acting?
Well, kind of.

295
00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:37,860
But now I get to act like

296
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:41,693
inflamed heart is only
a "mild side effect."

297
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,894
I heard you can make
good money doing that.

298
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:46,760
Yeah, it's going okay,
but I do miss this sometimes.

299
00:13:46,762 --> 00:13:48,293
Really?
Mmm.

300
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,627
'Cause I got to tell
you, I am so sick

301
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,660
of the humiliation and being
treated like a piece of meat.

302
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:56,693
Chelsea?
Wish me luck.

303
00:13:58,428 --> 00:14:00,593
They're gonna
love you.

304
00:14:01,662 --> 00:14:04,860
I heard she's pushing 40
and everything's fake.

305
00:14:05,629 --> 00:14:08,060
Yeah. I started
that rumor.

306
00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:12,927
Okay, since we agree
on the delivery system

307
00:14:12,929 --> 00:14:14,593
for the message,
maybe we should talk

308
00:14:14,595 --> 00:14:15,860
about what the message could be.

309
00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:18,627
Well, I think we should show
what earthlings look like.

310
00:14:18,629 --> 00:14:21,159
The plaque they sent up on the
Pioneer probe had a drawing

311
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,894
of a naked man
and woman on it.

312
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,293
Yeah, I never cared for that.

313
00:14:24,295 --> 00:14:26,793
It's advertising
to predator races

314
00:14:26,795 --> 00:14:30,693
just how soft
and squishy we are.

315
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,727
Squeeze yourself!

316
00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:33,960
Oh, don't be offended.

317
00:14:33,962 --> 00:14:35,560
You know, of
the four of us,

318
00:14:35,562 --> 00:14:37,560
you have the most
veal-like consistency.

319
00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:41,560
Well, maybe there's a way
to appear nonaggressive,

320
00:14:41,562 --> 00:14:44,060
but also be able to protect
ourselves if necessary.

321
00:14:44,062 --> 00:14:46,593
Like smiling and waving
with one hand,

322
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,960
but the other hand holding
the severed head of a tiger.

323
00:14:49,962 --> 00:14:51,960
You want to send
a passive-aggressive message

324
00:14:51,962 --> 00:14:53,126
out into the universe?

325
00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:54,326
That's ridiculous.

326
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,860
Oh, you mean passive-aggressive

327
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,894
like posting pictures
of you and your wife

328
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,093
eating cosmopolitan balls

329
00:14:59,095 --> 00:15:01,960
that you know belong
in my mouth?

330
00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:05,827
Perhaps Howard meant
passive-aggressive

331
00:15:05,829 --> 00:15:08,460
like asking our group
to help on your project,

332
00:15:08,462 --> 00:15:10,159
and then only
choosing Leonard.

333
00:15:10,161 --> 00:15:13,027
Look, I'm sorry
I hurt your feelings,

334
00:15:13,029 --> 00:15:15,527
but you do have
strong personalities

335
00:15:15,529 --> 00:15:17,460
and always end up taking over.

336
00:15:17,462 --> 00:15:18,760
It's not always.

337
00:15:18,762 --> 00:15:20,560
What about when we went
to Comic-Con

338
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:22,059
and dressed like Jabba the Hutt?

339
00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:24,560
You got to be Jabba's head,
and I got to be

340
00:15:24,562 --> 00:15:26,760
his fat slug butt.

341
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,994
We looked great.

342
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,126
You let a guy sit on me.

343
00:15:33,128 --> 00:15:34,793
He was dressed as Princess Leia.

344
00:15:34,795 --> 00:15:36,860
It made a nice picture.

345
00:15:38,695 --> 00:15:42,126
I'm just saying, sometimes Raj
and I feel pushed aside.

346
00:15:42,128 --> 00:15:44,693
Yeah. Like when you
took Sheldon to Texas

347
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:46,159
and showed him all around NASA:

348
00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:48,393
you didn't even think
to ask me and Leonard.

349
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:50,360
You know what?
You're right.

350
00:15:50,362 --> 00:15:52,059
I should have asked you.

351
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:54,260
Yeah, and if he does
ask you, go.

352
00:15:54,262 --> 00:15:56,226
It's amazing.

353
00:15:57,362 --> 00:15:58,727
Okay, and if
we're talking

354
00:15:58,729 --> 00:16:00,193
about being left
out of things,

355
00:16:00,195 --> 00:16:02,193
you guys went to Skywalker
Ranch without us.

356
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,593
Oh, I recommend that, too.

357
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:05,960
That was a magical
experience!

358
00:16:05,962 --> 00:16:07,393
Wait a minute.

359
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:09,627
Sheldon spent a whole day
with James Earl Jones

360
00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:10,894
and never told any of us.

361
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:12,760
I sure did.

362
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:14,193
Oh, my goodness!

363
00:16:14,195 --> 00:16:17,426
Well, from Jabba's head
to ice cream with Darth Vader,

364
00:16:17,428 --> 00:16:19,660
I'm having a heck of a ride.

365
00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:20,693
Yeah, look,

366
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:22,059
clearly, good
things happen

367
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:23,460
when I'm in charge.

368
00:16:23,462 --> 00:16:24,727
Now, why don't

369
00:16:24,729 --> 00:16:27,727
you boys step aside,
let me knock this project out?

370
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:28,894
Sheldon,

371
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:30,059
you're not in charge.

372
00:16:30,061 --> 00:16:31,360
Raj is in charge.

373
00:16:31,362 --> 00:16:33,493
Leonard, who's
really in charge?

374
00:16:33,495 --> 00:16:38,093
The person in charge, or
those who put him in charge?

375
00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:39,393
He's right.

376
00:16:39,395 --> 00:16:41,627
If you think about it,
we're all in charge.

377
00:16:41,629 --> 00:16:43,159
No, the guy in charge is in...

378
00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:46,126
Why is everyone so bad
at these?

379
00:16:47,228 --> 00:16:49,059
I mean, the whole experience
reminded me

380
00:16:49,061 --> 00:16:51,260
about how much
I hated about that world.

381
00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:53,627
You-you know, the anxiety,
the depression, the negativity.

382
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:55,627
I don't want
to feel those things.

383
00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:59,860
I want to sell drugs to people
who feel those things.

384
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:02,159
I can't believe you got up
and walked out

385
00:17:02,161 --> 00:17:04,360
of an audition for a big movie.

386
00:17:04,362 --> 00:17:05,627
I did.

387
00:17:05,629 --> 00:17:07,460
I-I mean, I walked in,
read for the part,

388
00:17:07,462 --> 00:17:09,894
then stunk up the place,
but then I walked right out.

389
00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:11,993
Well, I'm glad

390
00:17:11,995 --> 00:17:14,026
you have a new
appreciation for your job.

391
00:17:14,028 --> 00:17:15,793
I do, and you know,
I don't think

392
00:17:15,795 --> 00:17:17,894
I've ever thanked you properly
for helping me get it.

393
00:17:17,896 --> 00:17:19,660
Properly, at all.

394
00:17:19,662 --> 00:17:22,793
It's just words
I've never heard.

395
00:17:22,795 --> 00:17:23,926
Well, thank you.

396
00:17:23,928 --> 00:17:26,059
You're a good friend,
and you changed my life.

397
00:17:26,061 --> 00:17:27,627
You're welcome.

398
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,293
Hey, now that
you're making some real money,

399
00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:31,793
maybe you can take your friend
out for a nice thank-you dinner.

400
00:17:31,795 --> 00:17:34,326
Sure.

401
00:17:34,328 --> 00:17:36,126
And you probably have
to invite your other friend

402
00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:37,527
'cause she overheard you
talking about it,

403
00:17:37,529 --> 00:17:39,593
and it would be awkward
to exclude her.

404
00:17:39,595 --> 00:17:41,527
Okay.

405
00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:42,627
How about now?

406
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,894
All right.

407
00:17:47,061 --> 00:17:48,593
Don't forget your wallet.

408
00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:50,760
I...

409
00:18:01,473 --> 00:18:04,004
Greetings from planet Earth.

410
00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:07,705
Just turn left
at Alpha Centauri.

411
00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,738
You can't miss it.

412
00:18:22,061 --> 00:18:28,555
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man