1
00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:03,834
What did you do?

2
00:00:03,902 --> 00:00:04,834
Nothing.

3
00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:07,800
Really, it was just kissing.

4
00:00:11,035 --> 00:00:12,634
All right.

5
00:00:12,701 --> 00:00:14,934
So, we're still
getting married?

6
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:17,967
Yes.

7
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:21,234
Because we love each other.

8
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:22,900
Yes.

9
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:26,334
And it's the happiest day
of our life.

10
00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:27,700
Don't push it.

11
00:00:30,435 --> 00:00:32,601
I need some time
to take a step back

12
00:00:32,669 --> 00:00:35,834
and reevaluate our situation.

13
00:00:36,868 --> 00:00:38,468
Oh.

14
00:00:38,535 --> 00:00:40,568
Bye, Sheldon.

15
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,000
Well, Gollum...

16
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:50,333
you're an expert on rings.

17
00:00:50,401 --> 00:00:52,699
What do I do with this one?

18
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:57,899
So, what package
are you thinking?

19
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,899
Mm, this one comes with
music and flowers.

20
00:00:59,967 --> 00:01:03,333
Oh, they even stream the whole
thing live on the Internet.

21
00:01:03,401 --> 00:01:04,766
Why would we want that?

22
00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:07,166
'Cause there's a lot
of gorgeous blondes out there

23
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,932
who don't believe they can land
a short, nearsighted scientist.

24
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,466
Let's give them hope.

25
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,098
Whatever. Put us
on the Internet.

26
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:16,998
I've always wanted a wedding
with a comment section.

27
00:01:17,066 --> 00:01:21,298
I-If you're not into this,
we can do it another time.

28
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,665
No. No, I want to.

29
00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:24,832
Look, we've put this
off long enough.

30
00:01:24,899 --> 00:01:26,332
Let's do it.
Aw.

31
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,532
That's exactly what you said the
first time we slept together.

32
00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:32,931
Oh, excuse me.

33
00:01:32,999 --> 00:01:34,165
Sheldon.

34
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:35,365
Hey.

35
00:01:35,432 --> 00:01:37,297
Leonard, have you
gotten married yet?

36
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:38,465
No. Why?

37
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,197
Good. Don't do it!
Why not?

38
00:01:40,265 --> 00:01:42,531
Some important new information
has come to light.

39
00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:45,531
Women are the worst.

40
00:01:45,599 --> 00:01:47,431
I thought it was paper cuts,
but I was wrong.

41
00:01:47,499 --> 00:01:50,297
No piece of paper
ever cut me this deep.

42
00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:52,064
What happened now?

43
00:01:52,131 --> 00:01:55,498
Amy has ended our relationship.

44
00:01:55,566 --> 00:01:56,831
Oh, no. Seriously?

45
00:01:56,898 --> 00:01:57,597
What's going on?

46
00:01:57,665 --> 00:01:59,097
Amy broke up with Sheldon.

47
00:01:59,165 --> 00:02:00,330
She did?

48
00:02:00,398 --> 00:02:02,796
Is Penny crying?

49
00:02:02,864 --> 00:02:03,863
No.

50
00:02:03,897 --> 00:02:04,663
No, of course not.

51
00:02:04,731 --> 00:02:07,330
They thrive on our suffering.

52
00:02:07,398 --> 00:02:09,129
Buddy, I-I'm so sorry.

53
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,129
Is there anything I can do?

54
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:12,564
Yes. If I ever talk about

55
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:14,830
going out with a girl again,
roll your eyes at me

56
00:02:14,897 --> 00:02:17,963
like I do to you
when you say dumb things.

57
00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:19,464
Sheldon, uh, o-okay,
just because

58
00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:20,929
you're going through this
with Amy

59
00:02:20,997 --> 00:02:22,963
doesn't mean
that all women are bad.

60
00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:25,330
Whatever.

61
00:02:25,397 --> 00:02:26,695
Hey, I just heard

62
00:02:26,763 --> 00:02:28,330
about you and Sheldon.
Are you okay?

63
00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:29,496
Not really.

64
00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:30,996
Can you come over?

65
00:02:31,064 --> 00:02:32,595
Uh, actually I'm in Vegas.

66
00:02:32,663 --> 00:02:34,795
Leonard and I
are about to get married.

67
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,096
Hold on.

68
00:02:36,164 --> 00:02:38,562
You're getting married
and you didn't invite me?

69
00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:41,196
Well, it was kind of
a spur-of-the-moment thing.

70
00:02:41,264 --> 00:02:42,595
Wow.

71
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:46,396
Hope I can catch
the bouquet from here.

72
00:02:46,464 --> 00:02:48,263
Amy, don't be like that.

73
00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:50,263
Why did I just hear Amy's name?

74
00:02:50,331 --> 00:02:51,429
Penny's on the phone
with her.

75
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:52,628
Did she say anything about me?

76
00:02:52,696 --> 00:02:54,162
Never mind. I don't care.

77
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:56,028
Well, if you care,
you can find out and tell me.

78
00:02:56,096 --> 00:02:59,162
Just don't be shocked when
you find out that I don't care.

79
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,295
Okay, will you relax?

80
00:03:00,364 --> 00:03:02,463
You're not missing
anything special.

81
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,095
Hey.

82
00:03:05,163 --> 00:03:06,162
She's upset.

83
00:03:06,196 --> 00:03:07,595
Look, it's gonna be
a great wedding.

84
00:03:07,663 --> 00:03:10,463
Look at you in
your little suit.

85
00:03:10,529 --> 00:03:12,229
Amy's upset? Is it about me?

86
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:13,762
No, I think it's because
we're eloping.

87
00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:16,062
Your marriage
is causing her pain?

88
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,362
Yeah, great, I take it back.

89
00:03:17,429 --> 00:03:19,862
Go ahead and do it.
Yay for love!

90
00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:50,286
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

91
00:03:50,389 --> 00:03:52,688
Hello.
Oh!

92
00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:54,758
What are you doing here?

93
00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:58,125
When last we spoke,
you said you needed time.

94
00:03:58,193 --> 00:04:01,557
Well, it's only been 11 hours.

95
00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:04,192
The Lord of the Rings trilogy
was nearly 11 hours.

96
00:04:04,259 --> 00:04:06,725
I made you watch that,
you said it was an eternity.

97
00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:10,991
Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk,
I'll let you know.

98
00:04:11,059 --> 00:04:12,457
Very well.

99
00:04:12,525 --> 00:04:14,291
You seem to be
headed somewhere.

100
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,025
May I walk with you?

101
00:04:16,093 --> 00:04:18,092
Sure.

102
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,591
Boy, I'm glad we're
going out again.

103
00:04:24,625 --> 00:04:25,825
We're not back together.

104
00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:26,891
Why?

105
00:04:26,926 --> 00:04:28,058
Is there someone else?

106
00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:29,425
Just couldn't wait
for that first notch

107
00:04:29,491 --> 00:04:31,124
on your bedpost, could you?

108
00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:33,124
If you must know,

109
00:04:33,192 --> 00:04:34,624
I'm going to Howard
and Bernadette's

110
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:36,057
to watch the wedding.

111
00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,157
And who's this guy
you're taking?

112
00:04:37,226 --> 00:04:38,258
There's no guy!

113
00:04:38,326 --> 00:04:39,757
Oh, you're going
to a wedding alone?

114
00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:41,524
That's sad.

115
00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:42,757
I'm not gonna be alone.

116
00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,091
I'll be with my friends.

117
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,291
Your friends?

118
00:04:45,359 --> 00:04:46,890
Well, I think you mean
my friends.

119
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,624
And why wasn't
I invited to this?

120
00:04:48,692 --> 00:04:50,757
Maybe because the two of us
being there

121
00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:53,024
would make them feel awkward.

122
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,924
We make everyone
feel awkward.

123
00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:57,258
That's our thing!

124
00:04:58,392 --> 00:04:59,757
They're running
a little behind.

125
00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,357
Should be pretty soon.
Okay.

126
00:05:01,424 --> 00:05:04,024
Hey, if you're hungry,
there's a breakfast buffet

127
00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:06,224
at the strip club next door.

128
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:10,523
Thanks, but I don't like glitter
on my scrambled eggs.

129
00:05:10,591 --> 00:05:14,590
I don't think the strippers
prepare the meal, but okay.

130
00:05:15,991 --> 00:05:19,224
Look, it-it's not
how I pictured it either,

131
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:20,857
but I'm still glad
we're doing it.

132
00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:22,757
Me, too.
You sure?

133
00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:24,224
Yes.
And you promise

134
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,224
you're okay with
everything from the car?

135
00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,989
Oh, my God, would you stop
bringing it up?

136
00:05:28,057 --> 00:05:29,889
You're right.
I'm sorry.

137
00:05:29,957 --> 00:05:31,389
We have the rest of our lives

138
00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:34,690
to dredge stuff up from the past
and fight about it.

139
00:05:35,957 --> 00:05:37,056
So what do you think?

140
00:05:37,124 --> 00:05:38,956
Should we run next door
and grab a bite?

141
00:05:39,024 --> 00:05:40,489
What if they call our names?

142
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:44,056
Oh, don't worry. They gave me
this vibrating coaster.

143
00:05:44,124 --> 00:05:47,488
Oh, and the fairy tale
continues.

144
00:05:49,957 --> 00:05:51,923
Thank you for doing this.

145
00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,090
Our pleasure.

146
00:05:53,157 --> 00:05:54,355
You feeling okay?

147
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:56,422
We were together for so long,

148
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,856
I honestly don't know
what I'm feeling.

149
00:05:58,924 --> 00:06:00,989
Well, that's
understandable.

150
00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:03,522
You forgot.
It's called "happy."

151
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,956
Howard.

152
00:06:05,024 --> 00:06:06,056
I'm not saying
anything bad.

153
00:06:06,124 --> 00:06:08,223
Just that she was in love
with her captor

154
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:11,555
and somehow managed to escape
from his dark and crazy dungeon.

155
00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:14,388
I know
what you're going through.

156
00:06:14,456 --> 00:06:16,855
My-my last breakup
was pretty tough.

157
00:06:16,923 --> 00:06:19,122
Oh. What was her name?

158
00:06:19,190 --> 00:06:20,289
Hey, it's a true story.

159
00:06:20,356 --> 00:06:22,388
I don't need the third degree.

160
00:06:27,356 --> 00:06:30,155
For God's sake, Sheldon,
what are you doing?

161
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,754
I didn't want
to come in.

162
00:06:31,822 --> 00:06:34,921
I was told it would make
everyone feel uncomfortable.

163
00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:36,887
So I'll just stay out here

164
00:06:36,955 --> 00:06:39,255
and pretend that I don't
have to go to the bathroom.

165
00:06:42,455 --> 00:06:44,188
Howard, do something.

166
00:06:44,256 --> 00:06:46,288
I'm on it.

167
00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:56,920
Sheldon, you being here might
not be making things better.

168
00:06:56,987 --> 00:06:58,886
I see.

169
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:01,486
And is that why
everybody was invited but me?

170
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,486
They didn't invite
everybody but you.

171
00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:05,053
Bernadette invited me,

172
00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:06,353
and Stuart lives here.

173
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:09,120
Who wants hot cinnamon rolls?

174
00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:14,920
So, when you hear the music,
that's your cue.

175
00:07:14,987 --> 00:07:16,221
Any questions?

176
00:07:16,287 --> 00:07:18,187
Oh, the package
that we paid for

177
00:07:18,254 --> 00:07:20,785
said the aisle was supposed
to be strewn with rose petals.

178
00:07:20,853 --> 00:07:22,152
Where are the rose petals?

179
00:07:22,221 --> 00:07:24,253
We're out!
You know what?

180
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,519
It's fine.

181
00:07:25,587 --> 00:07:27,985
We can use the
potpourri from the bathroom!

182
00:07:28,053 --> 00:07:29,686
Really, we're good.

183
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,319
Yup, just want
to get married.

184
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:32,519
Yeah.
Great.

185
00:07:32,587 --> 00:07:34,552
I'll see you two
up there.

186
00:07:37,053 --> 00:07:39,552
This is it.
I know.

187
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:42,351
I love you.

188
00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:44,318
I love you, too.

189
00:07:44,385 --> 00:07:46,819
Was that a yes
or no on the potpourri?

190
00:07:46,886 --> 00:07:48,952
No, thank you!
We're good!

191
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:53,618
Raj, you're probably wondering

192
00:07:53,686 --> 00:07:57,186
why Amy and I aren't showing
any affection to one another.

193
00:07:57,252 --> 00:07:59,418
Didn't even crack the top ten.

194
00:08:01,485 --> 00:08:02,518
Well, you should know

195
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:04,152
that she recently
broke up with me.

196
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,018
I said I needed
time to think.

197
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,351
I'm sure you guys
will figure something out.

198
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:12,118
You hear that?
Raj is devastated.

199
00:08:12,186 --> 00:08:14,884
Sheldon, shh.
The wedding's starting.

200
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,518
I see what's happening.

201
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:17,851
Sides are forming.

202
00:08:17,919 --> 00:08:20,018
Well, if Bernadette's
on Amy's team, I pick Howard.

203
00:08:20,086 --> 00:08:21,118
I'm not taking sides.

204
00:08:21,186 --> 00:08:22,585
Fine, I guess
I'm stuck with Raj.

205
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:23,918
Really?

206
00:08:23,985 --> 00:08:26,718
At least you
got picked.

207
00:08:28,452 --> 00:08:29,518
Before I go any further,

208
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,483
have either of you
prepared your own vows?

209
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:32,983
Yes.
No.

210
00:08:33,685 --> 00:08:35,717
You wrote vows?

211
00:08:35,784 --> 00:08:36,783
Yeah.

212
00:08:36,818 --> 00:08:38,517
Well, I don't have any.

213
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:41,250
You're kind of
making me look bad.

214
00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:43,783
It's okay. I-I don't
have to say them.

215
00:08:43,851 --> 00:08:45,150
No, no, no, go ahead.

216
00:08:45,218 --> 00:08:49,117
I'll come up with something
mushy, you'll cry, we got this.

217
00:08:49,184 --> 00:08:51,917
"Penny, we are
made of particles

218
00:08:51,984 --> 00:08:54,282
"that have existed since the
moment the universe began.

219
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:57,116
"I like to think
those atoms traveled

220
00:08:57,183 --> 00:09:00,182
"14 billion years through
time and space to create us,

221
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:04,182
so that we could be together
and make each other whole."

222
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:06,683
Wow.

223
00:09:07,684 --> 00:09:09,416
Penny?

224
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:13,182
Right. Um... okay.

225
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:19,083
Leonard, I mean, you're not
only the love of my life.

226
00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:21,348
I mean,
you're my best friend, and...

227
00:09:23,449 --> 00:09:26,381
you've got a friend in me.

228
00:09:29,216 --> 00:09:31,083
You got troubles.

229
00:09:31,149 --> 00:09:32,949
I got 'em, too.

230
00:09:34,382 --> 00:09:38,116
There isn't anything
I wouldn't do for you.

231
00:09:38,183 --> 00:09:41,682
We stick together,
and we can see it through,

232
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:45,048
'cause... you've got
a friend in me.

233
00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:48,848
Is that the song
from Toy Story?

234
00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:49,915
He loves that movie.

235
00:09:49,982 --> 00:09:51,415
I do.

236
00:09:53,683 --> 00:09:56,381
Aw, that was beautiful.
Yeah.

237
00:09:56,449 --> 00:09:58,315
I mean, not like our
wedding beautiful.

238
00:09:58,382 --> 00:10:01,015
No, we totally won.

239
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:03,880
Amy, I don't understand,
are we broken up or not?

240
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:05,480
It's like you can't
make up your mind.

241
00:10:05,548 --> 00:10:08,547
It's because you're not
giving me any space to think.

242
00:10:08,615 --> 00:10:09,847
Well, you should think fast,

243
00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:12,314
because men can sire offspring
their entire lives,

244
00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:15,447
but those eggs you're toting
around have a sell-by date.

245
00:10:19,215 --> 00:10:21,980
You know what, Sheldon,
you've made this really easy.

246
00:10:22,048 --> 00:10:25,347
You're immature, you're selfish,
you just insulted me to my face.

247
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:27,714
I don't need any more time
to think. We're broken up.

248
00:10:27,781 --> 00:10:28,947
Amy...

249
00:10:31,314 --> 00:10:32,814
Will someone take me home?

250
00:10:32,881 --> 00:10:33,914
Yeah. Come on,
I'll give you a ride.

251
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,680
symbolizes your eternal love.

252
00:10:36,748 --> 00:10:40,313
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

253
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,113
We did it!

254
00:10:43,181 --> 00:10:46,814
I'm so glad
you guys could watch!

255
00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:50,379
We'll say it was beautiful
in the comment section.

256
00:11:00,968 --> 00:11:02,699
No, no, no. Hang on.

257
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,966
I believe I'm supposed to
carry you across the threshold.

258
00:11:06,034 --> 00:11:08,498
Can you?

259
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,265
Who do you think
carries Sheldon to bed

260
00:11:10,332 --> 00:11:12,798
when he falls asleep
in front of the TV?

261
00:11:12,866 --> 00:11:14,598
Okay, let's do it.

262
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,798
You gonna make it?
I'm okay!

263
00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:30,565
Nicely done!

264
00:11:30,632 --> 00:11:31,965
Thank you.

265
00:11:32,032 --> 00:11:33,097
Finally, there's
a Mrs. Hofstadter

266
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,664
who isn't disappointed in me.

267
00:11:35,731 --> 00:11:37,730
Well, the night is still young.

268
00:11:49,798 --> 00:11:51,597
Everything all right?

269
00:11:52,631 --> 00:11:54,897
Yeah. I guess.

270
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,697
Just tell me.

271
00:11:58,665 --> 00:11:59,830
It's just, when we were kissing,

272
00:11:59,898 --> 00:12:02,263
I couldn't help but picture
you with that other girl.

273
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:03,263
Oh, no.

274
00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:04,564
No, come on.

275
00:12:04,631 --> 00:12:05,864
I have a friend in you.

276
00:12:05,932 --> 00:12:08,096
You said so.

277
00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:09,830
You're right.
Just forget it.

278
00:12:09,898 --> 00:12:11,864
Yeah.

279
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:18,063
Okay, listen. Uh...

280
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:21,363
If you're imagining that
it was sexy, it wasn't.

281
00:12:21,431 --> 00:12:24,196
We-we were both drunk, and
she smelled like an ashtray.

282
00:12:24,264 --> 00:12:27,829
The boat was moving a lot,
so I chipped her tooth.

283
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,930
Did you feel guilty?

284
00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:32,430
No, she had
dental insurance.

285
00:12:32,497 --> 00:12:36,663
Did you feel guilty
after kissing her?

286
00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:39,829
Yes. I felt guilty as
soon as it happened.

287
00:12:39,897 --> 00:12:42,962
I feel guilty
every time I see her.

288
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,829
What do you mean,
every time you see her?

289
00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:47,829
What... do I mean?

290
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,462
Boy, that's a toughie.

291
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:53,062
You still see her?

292
00:12:53,129 --> 00:12:55,062
Well, no, not socially.

293
00:12:55,129 --> 00:12:56,295
But, you know,
just at work.

294
00:12:56,363 --> 00:12:58,796
You work with her?

295
00:12:58,864 --> 00:13:00,362
How could you not tell me that?

296
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:02,896
I wanted to tell you in the car,
but you told me to stop talking!

297
00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:04,529
Oh, okay. So you're saying
this is my fault?

298
00:13:04,597 --> 00:13:06,029
No, of course not.

299
00:13:06,096 --> 00:13:07,663
Okay, l-look,

300
00:13:07,730 --> 00:13:09,062
instead of fighting,

301
00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:11,629
why don't we dim the lights,

302
00:13:11,697 --> 00:13:15,528
um, get naked and make a baby?

303
00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,895
I was trying
to lighten the mood.

304
00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:28,227
It's not easy. You try it.

305
00:13:29,495 --> 00:13:30,562
Hello, Mother.

306
00:13:30,629 --> 00:13:32,828
Shelly! How's my baby doing?

307
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,294
I just wanted to let you know

308
00:13:34,362 --> 00:13:37,294
that you can remove Amy
from your nightly prayers.

309
00:13:37,362 --> 00:13:39,094
Unless you're open
to praying for

310
00:13:39,162 --> 00:13:41,394
a beehive to fall on her head.

311
00:13:41,462 --> 00:13:43,594
Oh, what's going on?

312
00:13:43,662 --> 00:13:44,893
She broke up with me.

313
00:13:44,961 --> 00:13:46,360
Oh, Shelly.

314
00:13:46,428 --> 00:13:47,160
No, I'll be okay.

315
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,093
But I think that I'd like

316
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,827
to send the ring back to you.

317
00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:52,993
Well, let's not be hasty.

318
00:13:53,061 --> 00:13:54,794
Are you sure it's over for good?

319
00:13:54,862 --> 00:13:56,993
It's over for me.
I'm done with women.

320
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:58,927
Like when I swore off Pop Rocks.

321
00:13:58,994 --> 00:14:02,193
They both hurt you on purpose.

322
00:14:02,261 --> 00:14:04,260
You want to tell me
what happened?

323
00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:06,560
Are you going to say
it's all part of God's plan?

324
00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:07,459
Good chance.

325
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:09,660
Then no, thank you.

326
00:14:09,727 --> 00:14:11,459
Well, honey,
don't send it back yet.

327
00:14:11,527 --> 00:14:13,685
Your sister's married,
and I'm not letting your brother

328
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:17,359
give my grandmother's ring
to that whore he's dating.

329
00:14:17,427 --> 00:14:21,192
Wasn't Mary Magdalene
a woman of ill repute?

330
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,892
When your idiot brother
redeems mankind,

331
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,059
he can date whoever he wants.

332
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,560
I know it hurts now,
but it's gonna get better.

333
00:14:31,627 --> 00:14:32,559
Yeah.

334
00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:33,925
Everything's gonna be okay.

335
00:14:33,992 --> 00:14:36,825
You've got so
much to offer.

336
00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:38,091
Thank you.

337
00:14:38,159 --> 00:14:40,425
Any man would be
lucky to have you.

338
00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:42,025
That's true.

339
00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,391
I just hope
I did the right thing.

340
00:14:44,459 --> 00:14:45,792
I'm sure you did.

341
00:14:45,859 --> 00:14:48,958
Maybe that's the problem...
you always do the right thing.

342
00:14:49,026 --> 00:14:52,425
Maybe it's time to
do the wrong thing.

343
00:14:59,091 --> 00:15:02,223
Like you're doing right now?

344
00:15:04,124 --> 00:15:06,724
Exactly.

345
00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:12,424
I asked you over and
over if you were okay.

346
00:15:12,491 --> 00:15:14,729
Why would you go through with
the wedding if you weren't?

347
00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,823
I thought I was okay,
but it turns out I'm not.

348
00:15:17,891 --> 00:15:20,558
Okay, listen, I may not
have been entirely faithful,

349
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:23,090
but you,
you are not easy to lift!

350
00:15:27,924 --> 00:15:28,923
Wow!

351
00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:30,956
Well, marriage must agree
with you.

352
00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:34,123
Well, you are just glowing.

353
00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:39,457
I'm not glowing.

354
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:41,057
I'm upset.

355
00:15:41,124 --> 00:15:44,223
Well, whatever it is,
it agrees with you.

356
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:56,023
Knock, knock,
knock, Penny?

357
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:59,322
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?

358
00:16:01,658 --> 00:16:02,756
What's this?

359
00:16:02,823 --> 00:16:04,023
Leonard told me what happened,

360
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:06,889
so I took it upon myself
to make you a hot beverage.

361
00:16:06,957 --> 00:16:08,557
Oh. That's so sweet of you.

362
00:16:08,624 --> 00:16:10,156
Yeah. I know.

363
00:16:11,256 --> 00:16:12,622
Turns out, being sweet

364
00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:15,155
isn't enough
to keep a girl these days.

365
00:16:15,222 --> 00:16:17,221
I blame Madonna.

366
00:16:17,289 --> 00:16:20,221
I'm sorry to hear
about you and Amy.

367
00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:21,689
Well, I'm sorry
about Leonard.

368
00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:23,235
Thought I raised him
better than that.

369
00:16:23,289 --> 00:16:26,355
You know, it's bad enough
what happened,

370
00:16:26,423 --> 00:16:28,955
but then he tried to hide
the fact that he sees her

371
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,888
all the time
at the university.

372
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:33,288
He does? Who is it?

373
00:16:33,356 --> 00:16:35,621
Some girl named Mandy.

374
00:16:36,456 --> 00:16:38,787
Mandy Chao?
Yeah.

375
00:16:38,855 --> 00:16:40,522
Oh, you don't need
to worry about her.

376
00:16:40,589 --> 00:16:41,720
She's brilliant and attractive.

377
00:16:41,788 --> 00:16:44,221
She can do way better
than Leonard.

378
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:50,255
That's great.

379
00:16:51,589 --> 00:16:52,954
Wait a minute.

380
00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:54,954
I know this may
sound farfetched,

381
00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:56,688
but I'm on the market now.

382
00:16:56,755 --> 00:16:58,487
You know, if I dated Mandy,

383
00:16:58,556 --> 00:17:01,454
that would teach both
Leonard and Amy a lesson.

384
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,021
That's ridiculous.

385
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:05,220
Oh, you're right.
I could never be with a woman

386
00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:08,021
whose self-esteem was so low
she'd be with Leonard.

387
00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:10,754
I'm with Leonard.

388
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,220
Yeah, I know. Forever.

389
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:18,254
Who would have believed
these things would happen to us?

390
00:17:18,321 --> 00:17:19,787
Right?

391
00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:22,787
I can't believe Amy
actually went through with it.

392
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:25,120
Hang on.

393
00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:27,753
You knew that she was
going to end it with me?

394
00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:29,520
Did you try
and stop her?

395
00:17:29,588 --> 00:17:33,753
I told her to be true to herself
and do what makes her happy.

396
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:34,986
Do what makes her happy?

397
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,554
She plays the harp and
her car is paid for.

398
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,686
How much happier can she be?

399
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:42,286
Okay, look, it's not my fault

400
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:44,953
that she thought
you were a bad boyfriend.

401
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,853
I see.

402
00:17:47,921 --> 00:17:49,920
Well...

403
00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:55,685
I think I'll be going.

404
00:17:56,587 --> 00:17:58,352
Sheldon...
No, no, no, no.

405
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,752
We are done here.

406
00:18:04,053 --> 00:18:05,952
Would you mind
opening the door

407
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:09,185
and then angrily slamming it
behind me?

408
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:11,618
Sure.

409
00:18:11,686 --> 00:18:13,586
Thank you.

410
00:18:13,653 --> 00:18:15,285
And slam it hard,

411
00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:17,052
because I am pretty steamed.

412
00:18:19,652 --> 00:18:21,419
All right, Leonard,
hang in there.

413
00:18:21,486 --> 00:18:23,684
Talk to you tomorrow.

414
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,385
What happened?
They just got married.

415
00:18:27,453 --> 00:18:28,851
I don't know.

416
00:18:28,919 --> 00:18:32,218
It's a mess.
They had a huge fight in Vegas.

417
00:18:32,286 --> 00:18:33,452
Think they'll break up?

418
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,717
I don't know. Sounds pretty bad.

419
00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:38,518
Penny's back in her apartment
all by herself.

420
00:18:38,586 --> 00:18:40,951
Really?

421
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,839
Would you like to hear
another reason

422
00:18:53,907 --> 00:18:55,772
why men are
better than women?

423
00:18:55,839 --> 00:19:00,071
Sure, let's make it
an even hundred.

424
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,738
You would never kiss me
and make me say "I love you"

425
00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,406
and then break up with me.

426
00:19:04,473 --> 00:19:07,338
I wouldn't.

427
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,805
And you know why?

428
00:19:09,873 --> 00:19:11,338
'Cause you're a man.

429
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:14,838
The champagne of genders.

430
00:19:14,906 --> 00:19:17,005
Well, I may be a man,

431
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,905
but I think I'm the one
that screwed up on this one.

432
00:19:19,972 --> 00:19:23,538
Yeah, well, and you admit it,
like a man.

433
00:19:23,605 --> 00:19:25,004
All you hear
women say is,

434
00:19:25,071 --> 00:19:27,670
"I'll just have a salad."
You know?

435
00:19:27,738 --> 00:19:29,471
"Where's my lip gloss?"

436
00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,204
"I think this element
should be called radium."

437
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:36,637
That last one was Madame Curie.

438
00:19:36,705 --> 00:19:39,337
I figured that out.

439
00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:41,770
You know what?
She was kind of an honorary man.

440
00:19:41,837 --> 00:19:45,204
She had a penis made of science.

441
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:52,104
Can't believe I'm spending
my wedding night with you.

442
00:19:52,171 --> 00:19:53,504
Really?

443
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:55,736
I never imagined it
any other way.

444
00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:04,622
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man