1
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:06,973
Why are you up?

2
00:00:06,975 --> 00:00:08,273
How am I supposed to sleep?

3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,173
I've been married
less than 24 hours,

4
00:00:10,175 --> 00:00:12,006
and my wife
isn't speaking to me.

5
00:00:13,309 --> 00:00:16,373
Perhaps you can think of this
in a more positive light.

6
00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:18,940
In one day,
you've managed to do

7
00:00:18,942 --> 00:00:21,540
what it takes many couples
decades to achieve.

8
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:25,973
Hi.

9
00:00:25,975 --> 00:00:27,106
Hey.

10
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,006
You couldn't sleep either?

11
00:00:28,008 --> 00:00:30,273
Of course not.

12
00:00:30,275 --> 00:00:31,440
Me neither.

13
00:00:31,442 --> 00:00:34,940
But I just had
a tickle in my throat.

14
00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:37,373
Not profound marital problems.

15
00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:39,206
What are we gonna do?

16
00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:40,407
I don't know.

17
00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:42,640
Please, tell me
how I can fix it.

18
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,640
Glad you asked.

19
00:00:45,642 --> 00:00:48,173
As I see it, there's
a simple solution.

20
00:00:48,175 --> 00:00:51,340
Your lips had a dalliance
with the lips of another woman.

21
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,273
It seems only
logical that

22
00:00:53,275 --> 00:00:54,940
to restore balance
to the relationship,

23
00:00:54,942 --> 00:00:58,006
you should find another man
and dally with him.

24
00:00:58,008 --> 00:01:00,373
And by dally,
I mean some hardcore

25
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:02,106
mouth-on-mouth action.

26
00:01:02,108 --> 00:01:05,006
Okay, that is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.

27
00:01:05,008 --> 00:01:07,340
Actually, I think
he's onto something.

28
00:01:07,342 --> 00:01:09,106
Y-You can't be serious.

29
00:01:09,108 --> 00:01:12,040
'Cause I messed up
and made out with a girl,

30
00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:14,473
you're gonna do the same
with a random guy?

31
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,140
I'm currently single.

32
00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:20,473
That's true. You are.

33
00:01:22,242 --> 00:01:24,707
What is happening?

34
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,674
I will tell you
what is happening.

35
00:01:27,676 --> 00:01:29,973
I am saving
my best friend's marriage.

36
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:09,960
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

37
00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:14,583
Sheldon, I don't think
you understand

38
00:02:14,585 --> 00:02:16,050
how being broken up works.

39
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,317
The only way
I can sort through my feelings

40
00:02:18,319 --> 00:02:20,083
is if there is space between us.

41
00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:23,050
Every time I see you,
it re-traumatizes me.

42
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,183
I go through the pain
all over again.

43
00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:27,350
Well, hello to you, too.

44
00:02:28,419 --> 00:02:30,116
What do you want?

45
00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:32,283
I understand
we're no longer a couple,

46
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:35,849
but I would like to remind you
that we made a baby together.

47
00:02:38,052 --> 00:02:39,849
What baby?

48
00:02:39,851 --> 00:02:42,849
A precocious
little Internet show

49
00:02:42,851 --> 00:02:45,417
known as "Fun With Flags."

50
00:02:46,285 --> 00:02:47,916
I'm hanging up.

51
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,050
Great. See you in
about half an hour.

52
00:02:50,052 --> 00:02:53,649
Sheldon, I am not doing
"Fun With Flags" with you.

53
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:54,816
Why not?

54
00:02:54,818 --> 00:02:56,749
Because we're broken up.

55
00:02:56,751 --> 00:02:58,716
Sonny and Cher made it work.

56
00:02:58,718 --> 00:03:00,583
Their variety show
kept going

57
00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:01,649
long after the divorce,

58
00:03:01,651 --> 00:03:04,283
and here we are
still talking about them.

59
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:07,483
No one's talking
about Sonny and Cher.

60
00:03:07,485 --> 00:03:09,517
You must be thinking
about Donny and Marie,

61
00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:12,150
'cause you and I are clearly
talking about Sonny and Cher.

62
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:15,317
Sheldon, this has to stop.

63
00:03:15,319 --> 00:03:16,883
I know it's hard.

64
00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:18,583
It's hard for me, too.

65
00:03:18,585 --> 00:03:20,483
But I've seen
and talked to you more

66
00:03:20,485 --> 00:03:22,016
in the two days
we've been broken up

67
00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:24,716
than in the last two months
that we were together.

68
00:03:24,718 --> 00:03:26,383
Well, if you want
to see less of me,

69
00:03:26,385 --> 00:03:29,216
maybe we should go out again.

70
00:03:30,385 --> 00:03:32,550
I can't believe you made out
with Mandy Chao.

71
00:03:32,552 --> 00:03:34,583
Trust me,
I wish it never happened.

72
00:03:34,584 --> 00:03:36,983
And you knew about this
this whole time?

73
00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:38,183
I did.

74
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,216
And you didn't think to tell me?

75
00:03:41,818 --> 00:03:44,150
Leonard asked me
to keep it to myself.

76
00:03:44,152 --> 00:03:46,483
Let's leave Leonard
out of this for the moment.

77
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:50,283
This is about you and me.

78
00:03:51,651 --> 00:03:54,350
Wait, wait, wait, how is my
day-old marriage falling apart

79
00:03:54,352 --> 00:03:55,450
becoming about you two?

80
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:56,616
Hang on.

81
00:03:56,618 --> 00:03:59,317
What do I need to do
to make you trust me?

82
00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,283
You think it's hard
having one wife,

83
00:04:01,285 --> 00:04:02,749
try having two.

84
00:04:03,851 --> 00:04:05,250
I bet you told Bernadette

85
00:04:05,252 --> 00:04:08,016
all about he was screwing around
with Mandy Chao.

86
00:04:08,018 --> 00:04:09,317
Oh, we didn't screw around.

87
00:04:09,319 --> 00:04:10,783
We just got drunk and made out.

88
00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:13,549
Whatever. It would have
been nice to hear it from you.

89
00:04:27,185 --> 00:04:29,549
What are you doing here?

90
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:31,983
I'm here to return
your belongings.

91
00:04:31,985 --> 00:04:33,983
That's what people
who've broken up do.

92
00:04:33,985 --> 00:04:37,216
And you didn't do
your compulsive knocking ritual

93
00:04:37,218 --> 00:04:38,816
so I would open the door.

94
00:04:38,818 --> 00:04:40,216
On the contrary,

95
00:04:40,218 --> 00:04:43,649
you no longer get to enjoy
my charming eccentricities.

96
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,649
We're not friends with benefits.

97
00:04:48,885 --> 00:04:50,417
Just give me the box.

98
00:04:50,419 --> 00:04:52,283
W-Wait. Don't you want
to go through it

99
00:04:52,285 --> 00:04:54,116
to make sure
I haven't forgotten anything?

100
00:04:54,118 --> 00:04:56,317
Fine.

101
00:04:57,485 --> 00:04:59,216
My old scarf.

102
00:04:59,218 --> 00:05:01,783
You wore it the night
we went ice-skating. Remember?

103
00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:03,683
You mean the night
that I went ice-skating,

104
00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:05,016
and you stood at the rail

105
00:05:05,018 --> 00:05:07,250
Googling the symptoms
of hypothermia?

106
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:12,383
We made one heck of a team, huh?

107
00:05:14,651 --> 00:05:16,849
Whose bra is this?

108
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,816
It's not yours?

109
00:05:21,185 --> 00:05:22,849
Oh, my.

110
00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:25,016
How embarrassing for both of us.

111
00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:28,317
It's Penny's.

112
00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:30,116
Hey, you broke up with me.

113
00:05:30,118 --> 00:05:31,749
It is none of your business

114
00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:34,816
whose naked bosom I'm smooshing
around like pizza dough.

115
00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:36,250
Good-bye.

116
00:05:40,484 --> 00:05:41,582
Amy.

117
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:43,016
Amy. Amy.

118
00:05:45,718 --> 00:05:47,816
Hmm. Tables work, too.

119
00:05:47,818 --> 00:05:49,616
Good to know.

120
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,949
Ooh, brownies
for girls' night!

121
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:56,449
Hands off. I'm mad at you.

122
00:05:57,551 --> 00:05:59,317
Look, I know it's
a lot of money,

123
00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:01,050
but the guy at
the store said

124
00:06:01,052 --> 00:06:04,083
in five to seven years,
it'll pay for itself.

125
00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:06,317
What will pay for itself?

126
00:06:11,385 --> 00:06:13,616
Doesn't matter.
What are you mad about?

127
00:06:14,451 --> 00:06:16,916
I'm mad at you
for blabbing to me

128
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,649
what Leonard did
on the North Sea,

129
00:06:18,651 --> 00:06:20,116
and I'm mad that
I've had to hide this

130
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,449
from Penny for two years.

131
00:06:21,451 --> 00:06:24,350
And you have every right to
be mad about those things.

132
00:06:24,352 --> 00:06:26,350
So, why don't you let me

133
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,883
handle the credit card
bill this month, huh?

134
00:06:28,885 --> 00:06:30,783
I mean, don't
even look at it.

135
00:06:32,052 --> 00:06:34,250
I mean, if Penny finds out
I've known all this time

136
00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,449
and haven't told her,

137
00:06:35,451 --> 00:06:37,416
she's gonna think
I'm a terrible friend.

138
00:06:37,418 --> 00:06:38,949
I wish you never told me.

139
00:06:38,951 --> 00:06:41,350
And I wish Leonard
never told me.

140
00:06:41,352 --> 00:06:43,649
He's the bad guy here.

141
00:06:45,152 --> 00:06:46,883
I guess that's true.

142
00:06:46,885 --> 00:06:48,816
And you let
Penny marry him.

143
00:06:50,985 --> 00:06:53,516
Compared to that,
who cares if I bought

144
00:06:53,518 --> 00:06:56,283
a George Clooney limited
edition manscaping kit?

145
00:07:00,885 --> 00:07:03,749
Hi. I'm calling about your
marriage counseling services

146
00:07:03,751 --> 00:07:07,050
and was curious
what your rate is.

147
00:07:08,484 --> 00:07:10,783
Really?

148
00:07:10,785 --> 00:07:12,449
Um, okay.

149
00:07:12,451 --> 00:07:15,683
Is there any kind of discount
for length of marriage?

150
00:07:17,685 --> 00:07:19,849
'Cause we're just
talking hours here.

151
00:07:22,885 --> 00:07:24,716
Hi.
Call you back.

152
00:07:24,718 --> 00:07:25,749
Hey.

153
00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:27,283
Can we talk?

154
00:07:27,285 --> 00:07:28,616
I would love that.

155
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:34,216
All right, look,

156
00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,283
I'm sorry I said I was
okay with everything

157
00:07:36,285 --> 00:07:37,416
before we got married.

158
00:07:37,418 --> 00:07:38,849
I hate that we're
going through this,

159
00:07:38,851 --> 00:07:40,283
but I don't know
what to do.

160
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,616
If you don't mind
waiting for a Groupon,

161
00:07:42,618 --> 00:07:44,883
we can try marriage counseling.

162
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:47,416
Hello.

163
00:07:47,418 --> 00:07:48,516
Hey, uh, buddy,

164
00:07:48,518 --> 00:07:49,783
can we have some privacy?

165
00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:51,116
Oh, of course.

166
00:07:51,118 --> 00:07:53,416
Wouldn't want to intrude.

167
00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:55,749
This is yours.

168
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,416
Okay, when I'm
done with him,

169
00:08:03,418 --> 00:08:05,449
I'm gonna need
more information.

170
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,616
Nothing odd.

171
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,783
I just wanted
to rub Amy's nose in it.

172
00:08:10,052 --> 00:08:11,949
Okay, look, I might
be overreacting,

173
00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:14,050
but how am I supposed
to get past this

174
00:08:14,052 --> 00:08:16,016
when I know tomorrow
you're gonna go to work

175
00:08:16,018 --> 00:08:17,582
and see this woman?

176
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,916
Forgive me for eavesdropping,

177
00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:22,549
but as I see it,
there's a simple solution.

178
00:08:22,551 --> 00:08:25,416
Wake up, wake up, wake up.

179
00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:31,250
Bring Penny to meet Mandy.

180
00:08:31,252 --> 00:08:33,083
What? Why?

181
00:08:33,085 --> 00:08:35,816
Well, right now, Penny's
imagination is running wild,

182
00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,683
but if they meet,
that will eliminate

183
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,216
the mystery
and alleviate her fears.

184
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:44,016
Like when that Sparkletts guy
let me look under his eye patch.

185
00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:50,416
Uh, first of all,
you made that guy cry.

186
00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:53,582
And we learned that you don't
need an eyeball to do that.

187
00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:59,216
Secondly, I can't think
of a more horrible idea

188
00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:00,783
than Penny meeting Mandy.

189
00:09:00,785 --> 00:09:02,849
Really? Why is that?

190
00:09:02,851 --> 00:09:04,116
What, you actually
want to meet her?

191
00:09:04,118 --> 00:09:05,482
No, but now that you're
being weird about it,

192
00:09:05,484 --> 00:09:06,549
maybe I should.

193
00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:07,582
I'm not being weird.

194
00:09:07,584 --> 00:09:08,616
Am I being weird?

195
00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,282
Yes.

196
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,949
And that's coming from me.

197
00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:16,549
Fine, you want to meet her?

198
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,349
No, I just want to know
that when you're at work,

199
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:19,783
there's nothing going on.

200
00:09:19,785 --> 00:09:21,150
How many times
do I have to tell you?

201
00:09:21,152 --> 00:09:22,716
I have no interest
in this woman.

202
00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:24,150
Yeah, well, maybe she
has interest in you.

203
00:09:24,152 --> 00:09:25,616
In Leonard?

204
00:09:25,618 --> 00:09:28,050
Oh, even the Sparkletts guy
could see that's unlikely.

205
00:09:37,136 --> 00:09:40,167
I guess my big problem is
I never saw Leonard

206
00:09:40,169 --> 00:09:43,200
as the kind of guy who would
do something like this.

207
00:09:43,202 --> 00:09:45,867
Anybody can make a mistake
in a weak moment.

208
00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:47,934
What do you think?

209
00:09:48,802 --> 00:09:50,633
Oh, I don't know what to think.

210
00:09:50,635 --> 00:09:53,767
But then again,
I just found out about it.

211
00:09:55,569 --> 00:09:57,700
You know, I fell in love
with Leonard

212
00:09:57,702 --> 00:09:59,300
because he wasn't
anything like the guys

213
00:09:59,302 --> 00:10:00,633
I was used to dating.

214
00:10:00,635 --> 00:10:02,466
I mean, I knew those guys
weren't above cheating

215
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:05,533
because that's usually
how we met.

216
00:10:05,535 --> 00:10:07,867
Come on, you know
Leonard's not like that.

217
00:10:07,869 --> 00:10:10,100
I want to believe you.
I really do.

218
00:10:10,102 --> 00:10:12,466
Am I being naive?

219
00:10:12,468 --> 00:10:14,134
Oh, I don't know.

220
00:10:14,136 --> 00:10:16,067
This is all so new to me.

221
00:10:16,069 --> 00:10:19,000
I'm still processing.

222
00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:21,934
You know, he never would've
done this when we first met.

223
00:10:21,936 --> 00:10:23,199
He's cockier now.

224
00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,233
That's because you made him
more confident.

225
00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:27,867
You know, if you think about it,
without you,

226
00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:30,167
he never would've grown
into the person he is now.

227
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:32,967
I mean, sure,
more women might notice him,

228
00:10:32,969 --> 00:10:35,034
but I think it's better
to have a guy be with you

229
00:10:35,036 --> 00:10:36,500
because he wants to be

230
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,767
and not because he thinks he
doesn't have any other choice.

231
00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:41,134
I never thought
about it like that.

232
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,800
Oh, me neither,
not until just now.

233
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:48,733
Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper,

234
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,700
and welcome to "Sheldon Cooper
Fun With Flags."

235
00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:54,633
You may notice that
I'm holding a remote control.

236
00:10:54,635 --> 00:10:57,166
That's because my cameraperson
and co-host,

237
00:10:57,168 --> 00:10:58,700
Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,

238
00:10:58,702 --> 00:11:01,833
has chosen to end
her relationship with me.

239
00:11:03,635 --> 00:11:06,533
I'm going to pause here
to let that sink in.

240
00:11:13,635 --> 00:11:15,199
Okay.

241
00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:16,767
If you need to pause
a little longer,

242
00:11:16,769 --> 00:11:19,100
just click the pause button.

243
00:11:19,102 --> 00:11:21,133
But the show must go on.

244
00:11:21,135 --> 00:11:23,800
And thankfully, all the things
my girlfriend used to do

245
00:11:23,802 --> 00:11:26,400
can be taken care of
with my right hand.

246
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,867
Anyway, let's not spend
any more time talking about her.

247
00:11:36,869 --> 00:11:38,133
We're here to talk about flags.

248
00:11:38,135 --> 00:11:39,300
Tonight's theme:

249
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:41,300
flags of countries
that have been torn apart

250
00:11:41,302 --> 00:11:44,000
and the women I have a feeling
were responsible.

251
00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:49,266
You guys have any idea
how much it costs

252
00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:50,700
to see a marriage
counselor?

253
00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,199
$250 an hour. Why?

254
00:11:52,201 --> 00:11:54,733
How do you know?

255
00:11:54,735 --> 00:11:57,133
Bernadette and I have
occasionally gone to one to,

256
00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:59,034
you know, stay on top of things.

257
00:11:59,036 --> 00:12:02,533
And I'm just
hearing about this now?

258
00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:04,400
Dude, just because
we're best friends

259
00:12:04,402 --> 00:12:07,099
doesn't mean that I have to tell
you everything that goes on.

260
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,833
You don't have to,
you should want to.

261
00:12:10,936 --> 00:12:13,166
Oh, great,
there's Mandy.

262
00:12:14,602 --> 00:12:17,600
Why are marine biologists
always so cute?

263
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,567
I don't know,

264
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:22,767
but I'd like to get lost
in her Bermuda Triangle.

265
00:12:23,502 --> 00:12:24,800
That's not helpful.

266
00:12:24,802 --> 00:12:26,466
Then I won't say

267
00:12:26,468 --> 00:12:29,633
I'd like to cover three-quarters
of her surface area.

268
00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:31,034
Are we done?

269
00:12:31,036 --> 00:12:32,700
Not yet, this is fun.

270
00:12:32,702 --> 00:12:34,466
Ooh, I know.

271
00:12:34,468 --> 00:12:36,900
I'd let her free my willy.

272
00:12:36,902 --> 00:12:38,400
Where you going?

273
00:12:38,402 --> 00:12:40,667
I'm gonna ask her if she'd
be willing to talk to Penny,

274
00:12:40,669 --> 00:12:42,066
tell her she has nothing
to worry about.

275
00:12:42,068 --> 00:12:43,500
Leonard, wait.
What?

276
00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:45,667
I'd like to SpongeBob
her SquarePants.

277
00:12:46,368 --> 00:12:49,099
Now we are done.

278
00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:52,166
Hey.

279
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:53,199
Oh, hi, Leonard. What's up?

280
00:12:53,201 --> 00:12:55,166
Uh, do you mind
if I sit?

281
00:12:55,168 --> 00:12:56,667
Sure.

282
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:58,800
So, um, I've been
thinking a lot

283
00:12:58,802 --> 00:13:01,600
about you and me and...
the boat.

284
00:13:01,602 --> 00:13:02,433
What about it?

285
00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:03,667
You know...

286
00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:05,633
what we did,
when we were drunk.

287
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:09,266
Oh, no,
did I sleep with you, too?

288
00:13:09,268 --> 00:13:11,600
No, we just made out.

289
00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh. Well, good for me.

290
00:13:14,602 --> 00:13:16,567
So what can I do for you?

291
00:13:16,569 --> 00:13:19,999
Uh, okay, well, um,
I got married recently.

292
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,366
Oh, congratulations!

293
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,867
To Sheldon?

294
00:13:25,268 --> 00:13:26,867
Never gets old.

295
00:13:26,869 --> 00:13:29,567
No, no, to a girl.

296
00:13:29,569 --> 00:13:31,934
Anyway, I told her what happened
between you and me,

297
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,667
and she's concerned about us
seeing each other at work.

298
00:13:34,669 --> 00:13:37,166
It was just a kiss.
Why would you even tell her?

299
00:13:37,168 --> 00:13:39,999
Because I didn't want there
to be any secrets between us.

300
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:41,466
Is that really the reason?

301
00:13:41,468 --> 00:13:43,633
What else would it be?

302
00:13:43,635 --> 00:13:45,033
I don't know.

303
00:13:45,035 --> 00:13:46,833
Sounds like you're trying
to sabotage the relationship.

304
00:13:46,835 --> 00:13:49,066
No, I don't think so.

305
00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:52,433
Although,
Penny did say exactly that.

306
00:13:52,435 --> 00:13:55,033
Okay, well, that's something
to think about.

307
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:58,066
You know, on some level,
I've always believed

308
00:13:58,068 --> 00:14:00,099
that I don't deserve
a woman like her.

309
00:14:00,101 --> 00:14:03,033
Oh, you're gonna
think about that right here?

310
00:14:04,936 --> 00:14:07,033
I mean, she's really beautiful.

311
00:14:07,035 --> 00:14:09,033
She could have
any guy she wants.

312
00:14:09,035 --> 00:14:10,667
Which is probably why

313
00:14:10,669 --> 00:14:13,433
it took her so many years
to tell me she loved me.

314
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,934
Maybe you should talk
to a therapist about this.

315
00:14:15,936 --> 00:14:18,266
Too expensive.

316
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:23,199
You'd think I'd be used to women
withholding their love.

317
00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:24,533
I mean, my mother did.

318
00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:26,333
I mean, no matter
how hard I tried,

319
00:14:26,335 --> 00:14:28,433
she just didn't have
any interest in me.

320
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,999
Imagine that.

321
00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:32,733
I wonder if that's why I have

322
00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:35,099
such a dysfunctional
relationship with Sheldon.

323
00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:36,500
I had a dream

324
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:39,199
the other night that
I was in a cave

325
00:14:39,201 --> 00:14:42,199
and I was nursing a baby,

326
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:46,266
but the baby
had Sheldon's head on it.

327
00:14:48,135 --> 00:14:51,166
And your wife is worried
about me?

328
00:14:51,902 --> 00:14:53,166
Hey, Leonard!

329
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:54,333
When you're done,

330
00:14:54,335 --> 00:14:57,099
we came up with
a bunch more.

331
00:15:00,302 --> 00:15:02,700
Then the Czech Republic
says to Slovakia,

332
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,300
"I don't think you understand
how being broken up works!"

333
00:15:05,302 --> 00:15:07,300
Can you believe that?

334
00:15:07,302 --> 00:15:08,966
You'd think
that the Czech Republic

335
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:10,500
would try to hold on
to what it had,

336
00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:12,466
given that it's not as young
as it used to be.

337
00:15:12,468 --> 00:15:14,433
And I don't see
any other countries

338
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:17,533
lining up to invade
its southern borders.

339
00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:19,700
I'm gonna kill him.

340
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:22,366
But enough
about the Czech Republic.

341
00:15:22,368 --> 00:15:25,033
Let's talk about the time
Moldova made Romania

342
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:27,899
a birthday cake
and Romania said it tasted good

343
00:15:27,901 --> 00:15:29,166
even though it didn't.

344
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:30,933
And yet Romania gets dumped.

345
00:15:30,935 --> 00:15:33,533
I'll pause here
while you mull that one over.

346
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,533
I know, right?

347
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:44,400
So, you said you had
something to tell me.

348
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,767
Okay, yeah, um,

349
00:15:45,769 --> 00:15:47,533
do you remember
when you accused me

350
00:15:47,535 --> 00:15:49,400
of trying to sabotage
our wedding?

351
00:15:49,402 --> 00:15:51,433
Uh-huh.

352
00:15:51,435 --> 00:15:54,366
I've been thinking about it,
and you might be right.

353
00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:59,866
But the good news is
that I'm pretty sure I know why.

354
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:01,767
I'm listening.

355
00:16:02,569 --> 00:16:04,366
Penny, after all these years,

356
00:16:04,368 --> 00:16:07,133
I still feel like
maybe I don't deserve you.

357
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,899
Okay, that is the lamest excuse

358
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:12,433
you could've possibly
come up with.

359
00:16:13,802 --> 00:16:15,133
But I get it.

360
00:16:15,135 --> 00:16:16,300
You do?

361
00:16:16,302 --> 00:16:17,767
Yeah.

362
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,166
Sometimes I worry
you're gonna wake up

363
00:16:19,168 --> 00:16:21,433
and leave me
for someone more like you.

364
00:16:22,735 --> 00:16:25,600
I don't even understand
why you're with someone like me.

365
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:28,600
Why would I want to be
with someone like me?

366
00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:30,199
You know what I mean.

367
00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:32,600
And, you know, maybe the way
I've been reacting

368
00:16:32,602 --> 00:16:36,300
was me sabotaging this, too.

369
00:16:36,302 --> 00:16:39,300
Well, how about we stop

370
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:42,099
being so scared
of losing each other

371
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,633
and just be together?

372
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,366
That sounds nice.

373
00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:47,366
Good.

374
00:16:48,735 --> 00:16:50,300
Because...

375
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,500
I've loved you
since the moment we met,

376
00:16:52,502 --> 00:16:55,667
and I will keep loving you
until the end of time.

377
00:16:55,669 --> 00:16:57,066
Oh.

378
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,066
Oh, my God,
that is the most beautiful thing

379
00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:01,433
anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah?

380
00:17:01,435 --> 00:17:04,567
That's because you're beautiful,

381
00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:09,266
and your beauty fills my heart
with love and song.

382
00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:13,400
It's getting
kind of cheesy, Leonard.

383
00:17:13,402 --> 00:17:14,500
Huh?

384
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:17,300
If you think that's
cheesy, buckle up.

385
00:17:19,335 --> 00:17:21,199
Penny Hofstadter,

386
00:17:21,201 --> 00:17:23,466
will you please
stay married to me?

387
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:26,466
Oh, damn it, you topped it.

388
00:17:29,868 --> 00:17:32,300
Should we go to the bedroom
and make this marriage official?

389
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,166
Yes, please!
Okay!

390
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,100
Sheldon, I can't believe
you got us a wedding gift.

391
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,964
I don't know
why you're so surprised.

392
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:51,298
I watch movies;
I see what people do.

393
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,098
What is this?

394
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,098
Plane tickets
and hotel reservations

395
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,131
for a weekend away
in San Francisco.

396
00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,431
Oh!
Wow!

397
00:17:58,433 --> 00:18:00,098
That's so great!

398
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:03,198
Yeah, there's Fisherman's Wharf
and Alcatraz and cable cars.

399
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,731
We're gonna have so much fun.

400
00:18:08,932 --> 00:18:10,398
We?

401
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,465
Is there a problem?

402
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,997
Oh, no, no!
I just, I said, "Whee!"

403
00:18:15,432 --> 00:18:19,231
How dare you go on the Internet
and say mean things about me

404
00:18:19,233 --> 00:18:22,797
and compare my genitalia
to part of Czechoslovakia?

405
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:26,098
You saw through that one,
did you?

406
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,665
I don't know
what you were thinking,

407
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,797
but take the video down now!

408
00:18:32,566 --> 00:18:33,797
She watched it.

409
00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:35,465
I'm gonna get that girl back.

410
00:18:35,467 --> 00:18:38,831
I only watched it
because you e-mailed it to me

411
00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:40,997
with the subject line:
"This is gonna make you mad"!

412
00:18:43,892 --> 00:18:45,810
She was listening through
the door. She wants me.

413
00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:55,283
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man