1
00:00:00,684 --> 00:00:02,283
Would you pass
the mustard?

2
00:00:02,285 --> 00:00:03,383
Sure.

3
00:00:03,385 --> 00:00:05,216
Hey, want to hear
a fun fact about mustard?

4
00:00:05,218 --> 00:00:08,116
Is it that the glucosinolates
which give mustard its flavor

5
00:00:08,118 --> 00:00:09,483
were evolved
by the cabbage family

6
00:00:09,485 --> 00:00:12,116
as a chemical defense
against caterpillars?

7
00:00:12,118 --> 00:00:13,749
Yeah.

8
00:00:15,117 --> 00:00:16,916
Well, that was fun.

9
00:00:16,918 --> 00:00:19,049
Good for you, Leonard.

10
00:00:19,051 --> 00:00:20,583
Hey, there.

11
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:21,583
Hey, you're early.

12
00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:23,316
The movie doesn't start
for an hour.

13
00:00:23,318 --> 00:00:24,949
Actually, we're not
going to the movies.

14
00:00:24,951 --> 00:00:27,616
We are here to kidnap you.

15
00:00:27,618 --> 00:00:28,949
What are you talking about?

16
00:00:28,951 --> 00:00:30,749
Well, you eloped and
we didn't get a chance

17
00:00:30,751 --> 00:00:32,182
to throw you
a bachelor party,

18
00:00:32,184 --> 00:00:33,715
so there's
a van downstairs

19
00:00:33,717 --> 00:00:35,349
and we're here
to take you

20
00:00:35,351 --> 00:00:37,349
to a surprise location
for the weekend.

21
00:00:37,351 --> 00:00:39,516
Well, I'd hardly
call this kidnapping.

22
00:00:39,518 --> 00:00:40,682
Where's the blindfold?

23
00:00:40,684 --> 00:00:41,916
Where's the duct tape?

24
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:43,483
Where's the part

25
00:00:43,485 --> 00:00:45,216
where you call me
and demand ransom

26
00:00:45,218 --> 00:00:46,715
and I try to keep you
on the phone,

27
00:00:46,717 --> 00:00:48,982
but you hang up
seconds before I can trace it

28
00:00:48,984 --> 00:00:52,349
and then I say, "I'm getting
too old for this crud"?

29
00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:56,583
When do we leave?

30
00:00:56,585 --> 00:00:57,516
Right now.

31
00:00:57,518 --> 00:00:58,882
Yeah, Penny packed
you a bag.

32
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,449
Wow, okay.

33
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,349
You're seriously going to get
in a van and let these two

34
00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:03,616
take you
to an unknown destination

35
00:01:03,618 --> 00:01:05,082
for an entire weekend?

36
00:01:05,084 --> 00:01:06,982
Oh, not just him;
you're coming, too.

37
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,616
Oh, and how do you think you're
going to get me to do that?

38
00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:10,649
Unhand me!

39
00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:11,682
This is ridiculous!

40
00:01:11,684 --> 00:01:13,216
I told you to put tape
on his mouth!

41
00:01:13,218 --> 00:01:15,416
And I told you he bit me!

42
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,878
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

43
00:01:45,885 --> 00:01:48,317
It's bad enough I'm being taken

44
00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:49,461
against my will.

45
00:01:49,463 --> 00:01:50,861
I don't see why it has to be in

46
00:01:50,863 --> 00:01:52,761
some hippie's
mobile sex dungeon.

47
00:01:54,229 --> 00:01:56,195
Well, Sheldon,
there's something about this van

48
00:01:56,197 --> 00:01:58,295
that you're going to find
very interesting.

49
00:01:58,297 --> 00:02:01,094
It runs on syphilis?

50
00:02:02,628 --> 00:02:05,727
This van was owned
and driven by your personal

51
00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:07,061
physics hero...

52
00:02:07,063 --> 00:02:08,627
Richard Feynman.

53
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,528
No.
Yeah!

54
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,295
A buddy of mine
let me borrow it.

55
00:02:12,297 --> 00:02:14,061
This was Feynman's van?

56
00:02:14,063 --> 00:02:15,228
That's so cool.

57
00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:16,861
Yeah, nothing's been changed
since he drove it.

58
00:02:16,863 --> 00:02:19,561
I bet he picked up a lot of cute
grad students in this bad boy.

59
00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:21,594
Yeah, and talked about physics
with them!

60
00:02:23,996 --> 00:02:25,994
So, are you gonna give us
a clue where we're headed?

61
00:02:25,996 --> 00:02:28,928
Uh, okay, let's see...

62
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:30,594
They've got spicy food

63
00:02:30,596 --> 00:02:33,594
and there's a chance
you'll get diarrhea.

64
00:02:33,596 --> 00:02:36,928
India.

65
00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:39,061
We can drive there.

66
00:02:39,063 --> 00:02:40,894
Your house?

67
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:45,061
We are going
to Meh-he-co!

68
00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:46,228
Fun, I've never been there!

69
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,061
Leonard, don't be fooled!

70
00:02:48,063 --> 00:02:49,361
I'm from Texas...

71
00:02:49,363 --> 00:02:52,827
Meh-he-co is Spanish for Mexico.

72
00:02:52,829 --> 00:02:54,727
What's wrong with Mexico?

73
00:02:54,729 --> 00:02:57,395
Uh, mariachi bands, wild dogs,

74
00:02:57,397 --> 00:03:00,727
beans that jump around
'cause there's a worm inside.

75
00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:02,361
Okay, calm down.

76
00:03:02,363 --> 00:03:03,627
There's a theme
to this weekend.

77
00:03:03,629 --> 00:03:07,195
We are going to Mexico
in Feynman's van

78
00:03:07,197 --> 00:03:09,661
to stay at the vacation house
Feynman bought

79
00:03:09,663 --> 00:03:11,527
with the money
from his Nobel Prize.

80
00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:13,161
Viva la Imodium!

81
00:03:13,163 --> 00:03:14,694
Ay-ay-ay!

82
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,195
Come on, Leonard's
doing bachelor stuff.

83
00:03:20,197 --> 00:03:21,928
You sure we can't take
you to a strip club?

84
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,627
Nah, if I want to see
a naked dancing man,

85
00:03:24,629 --> 00:03:26,561
I just flush the toilet
while Leonard's in the shower.

86
00:03:29,695 --> 00:03:32,128
Hi.
Hey.

87
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,228
I know we're not making a fuss,

88
00:03:34,230 --> 00:03:37,161
but in the spirit
of bachelorette parties,

89
00:03:37,163 --> 00:03:40,527
I made cookies in the
shape of male genitals.

90
00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:43,494
You really
didn't have to...

91
00:03:43,496 --> 00:03:45,395
Whoa!

92
00:03:46,362 --> 00:03:48,727
That is anatomic.

93
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,894
Thank you.

94
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,861
The veins are gummy worms.

95
00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:56,727
Oh, look,

96
00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:59,428
Jewish and gentile.

97
00:04:00,262 --> 00:04:01,994
I had extra dough.

98
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:06,128
Oh, that's Leonard.

99
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:07,527
He said they're about
to cross the border.

100
00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:10,094
I hope the boys don't get
too crazy in Mexico.

101
00:04:10,096 --> 00:04:11,994
Oh, yeah, right.
Lock up your daughters

102
00:04:11,996 --> 00:04:13,328
or Sheldon might
lecture them

103
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,527
about the North American
Free Trade Agreement.

104
00:04:16,828 --> 00:04:20,094
Boy, that was
a long night for me.

105
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,827
Uh-oh.

106
00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:26,228
According to this
Mexican Customs Web site,

107
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,328
visitors may not bring
more than five laser discs,

108
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:31,228
20 compact discs

109
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:34,128
or 12 VHS tapes.

110
00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:36,928
We don't have
any of those.

111
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:38,494
How can you be sure?

112
00:04:38,496 --> 00:04:41,727
VHS was king
when Feynman drove this van.

113
00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:43,694
For all we know,
there are hidden compartments

114
00:04:43,696 --> 00:04:46,527
lousy with Jane Fonda
workout videos.

115
00:04:46,529 --> 00:04:48,727
If there was
a hidden compartment,

116
00:04:48,729 --> 00:04:51,561
don't you think you'd be
stuffed in it by now?

117
00:04:52,695 --> 00:04:56,195
Are we all up to date on our
yellow fever inoculations?

118
00:04:56,197 --> 00:04:59,694
You don't need a yellow fever
shot to go to Mexico.

119
00:04:59,696 --> 00:05:01,161
You can never be too careful.

120
00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:04,394
I got one last year
before I went to Epcot.

121
00:05:07,296 --> 00:05:08,794
So, Penny,
how's married life?

122
00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:09,894
Oh, it's good.

123
00:05:09,896 --> 00:05:11,527
I just wish Leonard
would work up the courage

124
00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:14,094
to tell Sheldon
he's moving in here.

125
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,228
You guys still aren't
living together?

126
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:18,195
We are. I mean, he sleeps here.

127
00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:19,627
But it's only a matter of time

128
00:05:19,629 --> 00:05:20,961
before Sheldon has a bad dream

129
00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:22,195
and tries to climb into bed

130
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,861
with the Leonard-shaped
pile of pillows.

131
00:05:25,728 --> 00:05:27,494
Speaking of Sheldon,

132
00:05:27,496 --> 00:05:28,727
how's single life treating you?

133
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,527
Fine, I guess.

134
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:32,094
I've been focusing on me.

135
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,061
I was thinking about
changing my wardrobe.

136
00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:36,161
Yes!
Good for you!

137
00:05:37,329 --> 00:05:39,827
But then I decided I don't want
to go changing who I am

138
00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,128
just because of some man.

139
00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:43,994
Yes.
Good for you.

140
00:05:45,296 --> 00:05:46,427
You know, it is normal

141
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,128
to want to change your
look after a breakup.

142
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,961
Actually, I was thinking
of making one small change.

143
00:05:50,963 --> 00:05:52,295
Your sweater?
Your glasses?

144
00:05:52,297 --> 00:05:53,861
Your hair?
Your shoes!

145
00:05:53,863 --> 00:05:55,961
Piercing my ears.

146
00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:57,627
Oh.
Oh.

147
00:05:57,629 --> 00:05:59,094
You really never
had that done?

148
00:05:59,096 --> 00:06:00,561
My mom said pierced ears

149
00:06:00,563 --> 00:06:03,527
were for whores,
pirates and genies.

150
00:06:04,728 --> 00:06:07,195
Okay, well, you're
a grown woman now.

151
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:09,861
I know, but Sheldon
had this clause

152
00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:11,195
in the Relationship Agreement

153
00:06:11,197 --> 00:06:12,561
forbidding cosmetic surgery

154
00:06:12,563 --> 00:06:14,928
unless it's to look
like a Klingon.

155
00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:18,028
We'll take you to the
mall to get it done.

156
00:06:18,030 --> 00:06:19,594
Why? I can do it
right here.

157
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:20,627
Really?

158
00:06:20,629 --> 00:06:22,161
You have a piercing gun?
No.

159
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:23,594
All you need is a needle
and an ice cube.

160
00:06:23,596 --> 00:06:24,928
I've done it, like,
a dozen times.

161
00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:26,494
Oh, I don't know.

162
00:06:26,496 --> 00:06:28,228
Oh, come on.
I'll be gentle.

163
00:06:28,230 --> 00:06:30,394
Let me take your ear virginity.

164
00:06:31,929 --> 00:06:34,761
This party's weird.

165
00:06:37,162 --> 00:06:38,727
Hey, watch your speed.

166
00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:40,261
I hear the Mexican police
target tourists.

167
00:06:40,263 --> 00:06:42,228
Oh, not a problem.

168
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,394
If anything goes down,

169
00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:45,161
we just put Koothrappali
in the driver's seat

170
00:06:45,163 --> 00:06:48,161
and slap a sombrero
on his head.

171
00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:51,961
Dude, how many races can you
offend in a single breath?

172
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,094
I don't know.

173
00:06:53,096 --> 00:06:55,327
Have you watched
the Olympics with me?

174
00:06:56,428 --> 00:06:58,627
Sheldon, can you believe
that we're driving in a van

175
00:06:58,629 --> 00:07:00,627
that was owned by one of
the greatest scientific minds

176
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,360
of the 20th century?

177
00:07:02,362 --> 00:07:03,761
It's like the Batmobile.

178
00:07:04,495 --> 00:07:06,128
If Batman was real

179
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:07,594
and a physicist

180
00:07:07,596 --> 00:07:10,327
and his car wasn't cool.

181
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,195
It is extraordinary.

182
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:15,195
Perhaps some of his mojo
will rub off on us.

183
00:07:15,197 --> 00:07:17,594
Maybe between this
and his beach house,

184
00:07:17,596 --> 00:07:19,694
we will be inspired
to greatness.

185
00:07:19,696 --> 00:07:22,827
I usually don't put too much
stock in charms and talismans.

186
00:07:22,829 --> 00:07:24,260
However, even I must admit

187
00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:25,861
feeling Richard Feynman's

188
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:29,460
butt dent cupping
my own bottom...

189
00:07:29,462 --> 00:07:32,294
that does get
the creative juices flowing.

190
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,327
Hey, I have to return this van.

191
00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,761
Keep your creative juices
in your pants.

192
00:07:39,462 --> 00:07:40,527
What was that?

193
00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:42,161
I think it's a tire.

194
00:07:42,163 --> 00:07:44,661
What if it's banditos
shooting at us?

195
00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:46,028
What if we get kidnapped?

196
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,694
What if we end up in a factory
making Bart Simpson pi? atas

197
00:07:48,696 --> 00:07:50,961
for the rest of our lives?

198
00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:53,128
It's the tire.

199
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,128
Leonard?

200
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:56,161
What?

201
00:07:56,163 --> 00:07:58,727
I am getting too old
for this crud.

202
00:08:01,728 --> 00:08:04,294
Amy, I noticed
your status still says

203
00:08:04,296 --> 00:08:06,727
"in a relationship"
on Facebook.

204
00:08:06,729 --> 00:08:08,161
You're right.

205
00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:10,360
I should probably let
all of my Facebook friends know.

206
00:08:10,362 --> 00:08:14,128
Penny, I'm no longer
in a relationship.

207
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,827
Did you change yours
to "married" yet?

208
00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:19,260
Uh, no, not yet.

209
00:08:19,262 --> 00:08:21,294
There's still a few people
I haven't told personally.

210
00:08:21,296 --> 00:08:22,360
Who?

211
00:08:22,362 --> 00:08:23,861
Oh, just my parents

212
00:08:23,863 --> 00:08:25,360
and my entire family.

213
00:08:25,362 --> 00:08:27,128
What?

214
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,194
Why?

215
00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:29,627
Well, I don't want
to hurt my dad.

216
00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:30,827
You know, he always wanted

217
00:08:30,829 --> 00:08:32,494
to dance with his daughter
at her wedding.

218
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,028
What about
your sister's wedding?

219
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,994
They started to,
then her water broke.

220
00:08:38,162 --> 00:08:40,061
You know, if he finds out
we eloped,

221
00:08:40,063 --> 00:08:41,227
it's gonna break his heart.

222
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,061
How long do you think
you can keep it from him?

223
00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:45,894
Yeah, isn't it gonna get
worse the longer you wait?

224
00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:47,427
Well, not necessarily.

225
00:08:47,429 --> 00:08:49,260
You know,
Dad's not getting any younger,

226
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,861
so if I wait long enough,

227
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,627
I'll just tell him
he walked me down the aisle

228
00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:54,160
and it was magical.

229
00:08:59,295 --> 00:09:01,460
When did you learn
how to change a tire?

230
00:09:01,462 --> 00:09:03,827
Every self-respecting gentleman
should know how

231
00:09:03,829 --> 00:09:06,128
in case he comes across
a damsel in distress

232
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,627
by the side of the road.

233
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:10,128
If I see one scorpion,

234
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:11,494
I am getting
on someone's shoulders

235
00:09:11,496 --> 00:09:13,527
and never coming down.

236
00:09:13,529 --> 00:09:15,761
And there's your damsel.

237
00:09:17,095 --> 00:09:19,460
Wow, this one's really stuck.

238
00:09:19,462 --> 00:09:21,094
Are you turning
it the right way?

239
00:09:21,096 --> 00:09:22,661
No.

240
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:23,928
I took the other four off

241
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,460
and when I got to this one,
I thought,

242
00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:27,327
"You know, I'm in a rut.
Let's shake things up."

243
00:09:27,329 --> 00:09:29,194
Here, let me try.

244
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:38,427
You're right, it doesn't turn
the other way.

245
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,857
There you go.

246
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:51,822
You're all done!

247
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,255
That wasn't so bad.

248
00:09:54,557 --> 00:09:56,155
Nice.

249
00:09:56,157 --> 00:09:58,155
Boy, if my mom could see me now,

250
00:09:58,157 --> 00:10:00,756
she'd lock me in the sin closet.

251
00:10:02,823 --> 00:10:04,255
That's a joke, right?

252
00:10:04,257 --> 00:10:05,956
Actually, the joke was on her.

253
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,056
I could still see the TV
through the slats.

254
00:10:09,123 --> 00:10:10,622
I'm starting to see

255
00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:12,689
why you and your mom
aren't very close.

256
00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:14,589
Bet she'd still tell her

257
00:10:14,591 --> 00:10:15,689
if she got married.

258
00:10:15,691 --> 00:10:17,656
You're not gonna
let this go, are you?

259
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,589
Well, it's kind of sad
that they don't know.

260
00:10:19,591 --> 00:10:21,222
I mean, they love Leonard.

261
00:10:21,224 --> 00:10:22,489
Fine, you want
me to call?

262
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,622
I'll call.

263
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:26,756
Why am I so nervous?

264
00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:28,023
It's understandable.

265
00:10:28,025 --> 00:10:30,756
Amy was afraid to tell her mom
she broke up with Sheldon.

266
00:10:30,758 --> 00:10:31,923
Yeah?
How did it go?

267
00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:33,188
Did she make you crawl

268
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,722
into the breaking-up drawer?

269
00:10:36,356 --> 00:10:37,956
Uh, well, actually,
to be honest...

270
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:39,514
I-I haven't told her yet.

271
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:41,280
You've been giving me
a hard time

272
00:10:41,281 --> 00:10:43,246
and you haven't even told
your mom about Sheldon?

273
00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:45,413
I'm feeling a little dizzy
from all the blood loss.

274
00:10:45,414 --> 00:10:47,045
I don't know
what you're talking about.

275
00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:50,846
Fine. I'm calling home,

276
00:10:50,848 --> 00:10:52,346
but when I'm done,
you're calling your mother.

277
00:10:52,348 --> 00:10:54,479
Easy for you to say.

278
00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:56,779
You never had to watch
60 Minutes like this.

279
00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:00,546
Hey, Daddy.

280
00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:01,813
Hey, slugger.

281
00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:03,212
How's my girl?

282
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:04,846
Uh, good. Is Mom around?

283
00:11:04,848 --> 00:11:06,946
Ah, she took your brother out
to celebrate.

284
00:11:06,948 --> 00:11:09,813
He just got his tenth
one-month sober chip.

285
00:11:11,014 --> 00:11:14,779
Yeah, she's gonna make him
a little necklace.

286
00:11:14,781 --> 00:11:16,246
Okay, I'll talk to her later.

287
00:11:16,248 --> 00:11:18,079
Uh, Dad, there's something
I need to tell you.

288
00:11:18,714 --> 00:11:21,212
Leonard and I got married.

289
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,379
You did?

290
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,713
When?

291
00:11:23,715 --> 00:11:25,379
Last week. I'm sorry,
I should've told you.

292
00:11:25,381 --> 00:11:26,746
It was a spur
of the moment thing.

293
00:11:26,748 --> 00:11:27,980
I feel terrible.

294
00:11:27,982 --> 00:11:29,346
Please don't be
too disappointed.

295
00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:31,546
Are you happy?

296
00:11:31,548 --> 00:11:32,546
Very.

297
00:11:32,548 --> 00:11:33,846
Leonard is so great.

298
00:11:33,848 --> 00:11:35,679
Well, then I'm happy for you.

299
00:11:35,681 --> 00:11:37,879
Aw, thank you, Daddy.

300
00:11:37,881 --> 00:11:38,946
That means so much.

301
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,246
Well, I understand it's hard

302
00:11:40,248 --> 00:11:41,479
to tell someone something

303
00:11:41,481 --> 00:11:43,412
if you think
it's gonna upset 'em.

304
00:11:43,414 --> 00:11:44,646
It is.

305
00:11:44,648 --> 00:11:46,045
You're the best dad ever.

306
00:11:46,047 --> 00:11:49,546
Yeah. Uh, hold that thought.

307
00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:51,879
I've been sitting
on a little news myself.

308
00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:53,512
Well, what is it?

309
00:11:53,514 --> 00:11:56,679
You know that rototiller
I got for the tractor?

310
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:57,746
No.

311
00:11:57,748 --> 00:11:58,779
Oh, you should see it.

312
00:11:58,781 --> 00:12:01,446
It is a beautiful
piece of machinery.

313
00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:04,179
Anyway, uh...

314
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,145
I backed over
your pet pig with it.

315
00:12:07,147 --> 00:12:09,646
Moondance?

316
00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:12,879
Yeah, he's, uh,
not dancing anymore.

317
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:14,846
You killed my pig?

318
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,079
I did not kill him.

319
00:12:17,081 --> 00:12:19,412
The vet took care of that.

320
00:12:19,414 --> 00:12:21,145
When?

321
00:12:21,147 --> 00:12:24,212
Oh... ten, 12 months ago.

322
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:26,913
You didn't tell me for a year?

323
00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:29,379
Well, apple doesn't fall far
from the tree, does it?

324
00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:31,579
Love ya, slugger.

325
00:12:31,581 --> 00:12:33,246
Gotta go!

326
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,879
Okay, Amy, your turn.

327
00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:49,579
What are you doing?

328
00:12:49,581 --> 00:12:51,546
It's called Lamaze breathing.

329
00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:54,179
It helps you push.

330
00:12:55,013 --> 00:12:56,279
Great.

331
00:12:56,281 --> 00:12:57,679
He's pushing
with his uterus.

332
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,813
There's got to be a smarter way
of removing it.

333
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,579
Yeah, this is nothing more
than a physics problem.

334
00:13:04,581 --> 00:13:05,846
Right.

335
00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,613
Archimedes once said,

336
00:13:07,615 --> 00:13:08,879
"Give me a 'leever' long enough

337
00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:10,379
"and a fulcrum
on which to place it,

338
00:13:10,381 --> 00:13:11,713
and I shall move the world."

339
00:13:11,715 --> 00:13:13,412
Of course.

340
00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:15,112
All we need is to find stuff

341
00:13:15,114 --> 00:13:17,613
to make a "leever" big
enough to fix this.

342
00:13:17,615 --> 00:13:18,846
Exactly.

343
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,012
I'll bet there's
something around here

344
00:13:20,014 --> 00:13:21,613
that could
be a "lehver."

345
00:13:21,615 --> 00:13:24,045
Let's see, a "lehver,"
a "lehver"...

346
00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:25,446
Everybody hold on!

347
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,179
Let's take this problem
one step at a time.

348
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,846
First, we need to decide

349
00:13:28,848 --> 00:13:31,145
whether we're calling it
leever or lehver.

350
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,045
And the sooner
we decide it's leever,

351
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,912
the sooner we can roll up
our sleeves... not slehves...

352
00:13:37,914 --> 00:13:39,579
and get to work.

353
00:13:39,581 --> 00:13:41,479
We're gonna be here
"foreever."

354
00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:46,579
Thanks a lot, guys.

355
00:13:46,581 --> 00:13:47,646
What did we do?

356
00:13:47,648 --> 00:13:48,912
Before I made that call,

357
00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:50,212
my pig was alive and happy

358
00:13:50,214 --> 00:13:51,546
and rolling around in the mud.

359
00:13:51,548 --> 00:13:53,912
Now he's illegally buried
in our backyard

360
00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:56,212
next to my great-grandmother.

361
00:13:56,214 --> 00:13:58,446
Really?

362
00:13:58,448 --> 00:14:01,346
They didn't eat him?

363
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:03,212
No.

364
00:14:03,214 --> 00:14:05,878
He was a beloved member
of the family.

365
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,945
The breakfast meat family?

366
00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:12,145
It's not funny.

367
00:14:12,147 --> 00:14:13,613
You're up.
Call your mother.

368
00:14:13,615 --> 00:14:15,112
Oh, maybe later.

369
00:14:15,114 --> 00:14:17,845
Your pig dying
made me sad.

370
00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:19,845
And a little hungry.

371
00:14:19,847 --> 00:14:21,346
Phone, now.

372
00:14:21,348 --> 00:14:23,045
Okay. Okay.

373
00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:24,679
Fine.

374
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:28,813
Hi, Mom.

375
00:14:28,815 --> 00:14:30,145
Try dialing.

376
00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:33,679
You saw that, huh?

377
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,945
Hi, Mom. How are you doing?

378
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,412
Oh, good.

379
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,045
How's work?

380
00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:45,012
That's nice.

381
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,412
I'm fine.

382
00:14:46,414 --> 00:14:48,546
Hey, listen,
I've been meaning to ask,

383
00:14:48,548 --> 00:14:51,945
how come Aunt Doe and
Aunt Florence never got along?

384
00:14:51,947 --> 00:14:53,312
Okay, just...
give me that.

385
00:14:53,314 --> 00:14:54,812
Amy broke up with Sheldon,

386
00:14:54,814 --> 00:14:55,878
she got her ears pierced

387
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,446
and she made us
eat penis cookies!

388
00:15:01,513 --> 00:15:02,746
Hang on.

389
00:15:02,748 --> 00:15:04,779
She wants to talk to you.

390
00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:10,912
I don't think
the lever's working.

391
00:15:10,914 --> 00:15:12,479
What makes you say that?

392
00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:20,179
There's gotta be
something else we could try.

393
00:15:20,181 --> 00:15:22,112
If this was Star Trek,

394
00:15:22,114 --> 00:15:24,279
we could use a phaser
to blast it off.

395
00:15:24,281 --> 00:15:26,145
No, it's too
broad of a beam.

396
00:15:26,147 --> 00:15:27,746
You'd need something
more precise,

397
00:15:27,748 --> 00:15:29,746
like Superman's heat vision.

398
00:15:29,748 --> 00:15:31,079
Ooh, the Green
Lantern's ring

399
00:15:31,081 --> 00:15:33,179
could make a big green
hand that unscrews it.

400
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:34,713
If you need
a green hand,

401
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:35,979
why not just
use the Hulk?

402
00:15:35,981 --> 00:15:37,546
Oh, please, the Hulk
would never get

403
00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:39,746
across the border
with that temper.

404
00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,346
Guys, excuse me,

405
00:15:41,348 --> 00:15:43,312
not that calling
one of the Avengers

406
00:15:43,314 --> 00:15:45,546
isn't a perfectly
reasonable choice,

407
00:15:45,548 --> 00:15:46,679
but we're
scientists.

408
00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:48,346
Don't you think we
can figure this out

409
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,713
using actual science?

410
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,745
Yes, we could
use science.

411
00:15:51,747 --> 00:15:53,012
But it's your
bachelor party.

412
00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:54,412
Lighten up.

413
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,412
I have an eidetic memory.

414
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,878
Sometimes it's a curse.

415
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,912
I had no idea

416
00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:48,613
tortilla chips were
such a good fuel source.

417
00:16:48,615 --> 00:16:52,512
They're basically pure
hydrocarbons soaked in fat.

418
00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:54,479
Let's hope the lug nut expands.

419
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,712
What if that burning
food attracts animals?

420
00:16:56,714 --> 00:16:58,845
We have plenty of food
for the animals.

421
00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:00,212
- We do?
- Yep.

422
00:17:00,214 --> 00:17:02,912
A six-foot wiener
in a Flash T-shirt.

423
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:05,346
That's not very nice.

424
00:17:05,348 --> 00:17:07,212
It's a bachelor party.
Lighten up.

425
00:17:12,247 --> 00:17:15,246
What is that awful smell?

426
00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:16,479
It's burning salsa.

427
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:18,212
I'm hoping the acidity
and salinity

428
00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:20,279
combined with electricity
will corrode the lug nut off.

429
00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:22,812
What an innovative solution.

430
00:17:22,814 --> 00:17:26,246
Perhaps I don't give your
MIT education enough credit.

431
00:17:26,248 --> 00:17:28,712
Yeah, I saw it on Mythbusters.

432
00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:36,678
All right, this rust,

433
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,479
combined with the aluminum
recovered from the van,

434
00:17:39,481 --> 00:17:41,079
is now thermite.

435
00:17:41,081 --> 00:17:42,079
Great.

436
00:17:42,081 --> 00:17:44,212
Couple pinches
ought to do the trick.

437
00:17:44,214 --> 00:17:46,179
Is that enough
to melt the lug nut?

438
00:17:46,181 --> 00:17:47,145
Well, let's start small.

439
00:17:47,147 --> 00:17:48,179
We can always add more.

440
00:17:48,181 --> 00:17:51,112
You put up a good fight,
lug nut,

441
00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:54,812
but you've met your match.

442
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:13,412
Hey, look!

443
00:18:13,414 --> 00:18:16,112
The lug nut's off.

444
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,743
What...

445
00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:36,876
What are you
doing back?

446
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:40,410
We got a flat

447
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,709
and couldn't get
the tire off.

448
00:18:41,711 --> 00:18:43,543
Oh, I'm sorry.

449
00:18:43,545 --> 00:18:44,876
Thank you.

450
00:18:44,878 --> 00:18:46,343
If it makes you feel any better,

451
00:18:46,345 --> 00:18:47,643
I pierced Amy's ears

452
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:50,410
and her mom made her sit
in my closet.

453
00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:56,243
We blew up Feynman's van.

454
00:18:56,245 --> 00:18:58,809
My dad killed my pig
with his tractor.

455
00:18:58,811 --> 00:19:01,243
I spent the night
in Mexico with Sheldon.

456
00:19:01,245 --> 00:19:02,576
You win.

457
00:19:06,775 --> 00:19:13,269
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man