1
00:00:01,943 --> 00:00:05,374
Is that the prototype drive
system for the high-G rover?

2
00:00:05,376 --> 00:00:07,741
No, Bernadette
got me a Fitbit

3
00:00:07,743 --> 00:00:10,775
so she can track
how much I'm exercising.

4
00:00:12,109 --> 00:00:15,374
That'll teach her to care
about your health.

5
00:00:15,376 --> 00:00:19,142
I can't wait to see the look
on her face when I die young.

6
00:00:20,243 --> 00:00:21,641
When was the last actual
exercise you got?

7
00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:23,008
The other day, when

8
00:00:23,010 --> 00:00:26,441
she tried to put that Fitbit
on me and I ran away from her.

9
00:00:27,308 --> 00:00:28,908
According to a recent study,

10
00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:31,674
simply thinking about exercise,
even while sitting still,

11
00:00:31,676 --> 00:00:33,041
can have physical benefits.

12
00:00:33,043 --> 00:00:35,641
For all you know,
I could be exercising right now.

13
00:00:35,643 --> 00:00:38,541
Are you?
Eh, I'll do it tomorrow.

14
00:00:39,442 --> 00:00:40,741
It wouldn't be the worst thing

15
00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:41,908
if we were more active.

16
00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:44,307
Oh. You make
an excellent point.

17
00:00:47,475 --> 00:00:50,175
Ooh, I think
I'm getting a runner's high!

18
00:01:14,434 --> 00:01:20,129
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

19
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,359
Look at all these activities
the university has.

20
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,391
Rock climbing club,
archery, flag football.

21
00:01:25,393 --> 00:01:28,725
Had me at flag,
lost me at football.

22
00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:31,358
Yeah, I think it's great you
guys want to get more exercise,

23
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,291
but do you really think sports
is the right choice for you?

24
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:36,257
What are you saying?
We're not coordinated enough

25
00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:37,357
to play sports?

26
00:01:37,359 --> 00:01:39,758
Okay, Leonard, sweetheart,

27
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,058
you twisted your ankle
playing Scrabble.

28
00:01:43,892 --> 00:01:45,891
I got a triple-word score

29
00:01:45,893 --> 00:01:47,558
with a double letter "Q."
If that's not a time

30
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,457
to bust out the Scrabble dance,
what's the point of having one?

31
00:01:52,358 --> 00:01:56,190
Hey, Barry Kripke
started a fencing club.

32
00:01:56,192 --> 00:02:00,158
Interesting. Sword fighting does
hold a certain elegant appeal.

33
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,991
And I would imagine
it meets many

34
00:02:01,993 --> 00:02:04,624
of our personal criteria
for a sport.

35
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:06,958
It's indoors, so no sunscreen.

36
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:08,624
No throwing, no catching,

37
00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:10,424
no running.

38
00:02:10,426 --> 00:02:13,391
No gym shorts
that can be yanked down.

39
00:02:14,558 --> 00:02:15,758
Or worse, up.

40
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,557
Preach.

41
00:02:17,559 --> 00:02:18,891
And as
an added bonus,

42
00:02:18,893 --> 00:02:20,624
the word "touché" comes
from fencing.

43
00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:22,657
It would be our only opportunity
to use it

44
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:25,390
in a non-metaphorical sense.

45
00:02:25,392 --> 00:02:27,557
What about a game of tag
on a French schoolyard?

46
00:02:27,559 --> 00:02:29,457
Ah, touché.

47
00:02:32,191 --> 00:02:33,457
Thanks for coming by.

48
00:02:33,459 --> 00:02:35,157
Sure. So how can we help?

49
00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:37,324
Well, I know
more women are

50
00:02:37,326 --> 00:02:39,124
buying comics than ever,
but for some reason,

51
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,991
I-I can't get
'em in here.

52
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,024
All right, well,
what have you tried so far?

53
00:02:43,026 --> 00:02:46,624
Uh, I've-I've been stocking
more female-oriented titles.

54
00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:49,891
Uh, in the bathroom, I folded
the end of the toilet paper

55
00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:51,157
into a triangle.

56
00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:52,490
And,
uh,

57
00:02:52,492 --> 00:02:54,357
you are now sitting
in the official

58
00:02:54,359 --> 00:02:56,590
breastfeeding area.

59
00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:01,924
Really? In a comic book store?
Oh,

60
00:03:01,926 --> 00:03:04,190
don't worry. I-I've got
a camera right up here,

61
00:03:04,192 --> 00:03:06,757
so I could watch
from the counter

62
00:03:06,759 --> 00:03:10,256
and make sure guys
aren't being pervs.

63
00:03:14,725 --> 00:03:15,857
Anyway,

64
00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:17,690
so what do I got to do to-to

65
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:18,924
get you in
the door?

66
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:20,657
Well, for starters,

67
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,957
you might want to rethink
some of this artwork.

68
00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:27,323
I mean, this woman's
actually on a leash like a dog.

69
00:03:27,325 --> 00:03:30,123
Well, you don't know
the backstory.

70
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:33,190
Maybe she kept jumping up
on the couch.

71
00:03:46,124 --> 00:03:48,123
I feel cool.

72
00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:51,623
Like Puss in Boots.

73
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:54,441
I always wanted to be
a swashbuckler when I was a kid.

74
00:03:54,465 --> 00:03:55,157
Technically,

75
00:03:55,158 --> 00:03:57,323
"swashbuckler" is a combination
of two terms.

76
00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:59,923
"Swash" referring to the sound
of the sword.

77
00:03:59,925 --> 00:04:01,957
Swash.

78
00:04:02,891 --> 00:04:04,323
And
then

79
00:04:04,325 --> 00:04:07,489
"buckler" meaning a small
shield, which you don't have.

80
00:04:07,491 --> 00:04:09,089
We can still be swashers.
Hmm.

81
00:04:09,091 --> 00:04:11,089
Well said, Puss.

82
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:16,723
Gentlemen, welcome
to the fencing club.

83
00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:20,556
Before we start, I just want to
warn you, fencing isn't a joke.

84
00:04:20,558 --> 00:04:22,356
I hope you're not here because
you think it's going to be

85
00:04:22,358 --> 00:04:24,289
like Star Wars.

86
00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:25,189
That's not why we're here.

87
00:04:25,191 --> 00:04:26,389
Yeah, I'm here
because I think

88
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,222
it's gonna be like
Game of Thrones.

89
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:30,589
And maybe
a little Princess Bride.

90
00:04:30,591 --> 00:04:32,389
Ooh, ooh! I forgot
about Princess Bride!

91
00:04:32,391 --> 00:04:34,923
That's my answer!

92
00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:39,155
Well, sorry to disappoint you,
but fencing is a serious sport.

93
00:04:39,157 --> 00:04:40,189
If you're not willing
to put in the effort,

94
00:04:40,191 --> 00:04:42,289
you might as well just leave
now.

95
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:44,522
We're not afraid of physical activity.
Yeah.

96
00:04:44,524 --> 00:04:47,122
I already ran 18 miles today.

97
00:04:48,223 --> 00:04:50,823
All right. Let's begin
with some fundamentals.

98
00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:53,155
This is the en
garde position.

99
00:04:53,157 --> 00:04:56,122
Feet are in an "L."
Heels in a straight line.

100
00:04:56,124 --> 00:04:57,089
Elbow is
about a fist

101
00:04:57,091 --> 00:04:58,689
from the rib cage.

102
00:04:58,691 --> 00:05:01,722
Notice my dominant
leg faces forward.

103
00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:02,756
Oh, dear.

104
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:04,055
What's wrong, Cooper?

105
00:05:04,057 --> 00:05:07,456
Well, I'm not sure
I have a dominant leg.

106
00:05:07,458 --> 00:05:09,355
They're both pretty submissive.

107
00:05:11,757 --> 00:05:13,155
When you're in a
public restroom,

108
00:05:13,157 --> 00:05:15,556
which foot do you
flush the toilet with?

109
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,923
Right. Always right.

110
00:05:19,925 --> 00:05:21,222
He's a righty.

111
00:05:21,224 --> 00:05:23,789
Okay,

112
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:24,889
show me en garde.

113
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,222
Good. Knees bent,

114
00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,889
slightly over the toe.

115
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:31,589
Non-sword hand up for balance.

116
00:05:31,591 --> 00:05:35,555
I am going
to feel this tomorrow.

117
00:05:35,557 --> 00:05:38,756
The first move
is called an advance.

118
00:05:38,758 --> 00:05:41,222
You move your front foot
forward, heel to toe.

119
00:05:41,224 --> 00:05:43,222
Back foot
follows.

120
00:05:43,224 --> 00:05:45,622
So front foot forward,
heel to toe.

121
00:05:45,624 --> 00:05:47,355
Back foot follows.

122
00:05:47,357 --> 00:05:50,021
Now you try. Advance.

123
00:05:50,023 --> 00:05:53,589
And advance.
And advance.

124
00:05:53,591 --> 00:05:56,955
This is easy.
I didn't need to wear a cup.

125
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:57,988
Good.

126
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,755
The next move is called
a retreat.

127
00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:00,855
Step back.

128
00:06:00,857 --> 00:06:02,855
Back foot first, toe to heel.

129
00:06:02,857 --> 00:06:04,522
Front foot follows.

130
00:06:04,524 --> 00:06:06,155
On three.

131
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,388
Excuse me, Barry?
Yes.

132
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:09,755
When can I stab
one of my friends?

133
00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:12,622
In fencing,
we don't call it a stab.

134
00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:14,388
We call it a touch.
Uh, yes, I'm aware.

135
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:16,255
But if I say I want
to touch one of my friends,

136
00:06:16,257 --> 00:06:19,288
I'll get called
into Human Resources.

137
00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:20,755
Okay, on three,

138
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:24,221
Cooper and Koothrappali advance,
the other two retreat.

139
00:06:24,223 --> 00:06:27,888
One, two, three.

140
00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:29,588
Very good. Switch it up.

141
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,555
One, two, three.

142
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,188
Switch again.
One, two, three.

143
00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:38,221
Excuse me.

144
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,987
Can I call you back?

145
00:06:39,989 --> 00:06:43,555
No, I'm teaching
a class.

146
00:06:43,557 --> 00:06:46,188
Sure.
Sure.

147
00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:48,421
An hour,
tops.

148
00:06:48,423 --> 00:06:49,855
Yeah. Okay.

149
00:06:49,857 --> 00:06:51,921
Okay.
Yeah.

150
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:53,887
Okay. Thanks.

151
00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:57,755
And one,
two, three.

152
00:06:58,922 --> 00:07:02,354
Have you thought about
advertising directly to females?

153
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,354
Hmm, okay.

154
00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:06,087
Well... All right.

155
00:07:06,089 --> 00:07:09,121
What if I put up a sign
in the window that said,

156
00:07:09,123 --> 00:07:11,954
"Women, come in.

157
00:07:11,956 --> 00:07:15,454
Don't be afraid."

158
00:07:18,055 --> 00:07:20,254
Hey.

159
00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:22,387
Uh, have you read the online
reviews for this place?

160
00:07:22,389 --> 00:07:23,421
Eh,

161
00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:24,387
the Internet's so negative.

162
00:07:24,389 --> 00:07:25,920
I try to avoid it.

163
00:07:25,922 --> 00:07:27,154
All right, well,
Heather H. says,

164
00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:29,054
"The owner stared at me
the whole time

165
00:07:29,056 --> 00:07:31,688
and didn't blink once."

166
00:07:40,088 --> 00:07:41,821
Kelly M. says,

167
00:07:41,823 --> 00:07:44,454
"The creepy guy who runs it
asked me out,

168
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:48,020
then called himself stupid
before I could say no."

169
00:07:49,055 --> 00:07:51,953
Jessica K.
says,

170
00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,387
"I told the weird owner
that I liked his shirt.

171
00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:58,120
He took it off
and gave it to me."

172
00:07:58,122 --> 00:08:01,920
See? Negative.

173
00:08:04,221 --> 00:08:05,820
With your foil extended,

174
00:08:05,822 --> 00:08:08,920
kick your front leg up and
push off with your back leg.

175
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,687
Now you try.

176
00:08:11,455 --> 00:08:14,120
And
again.

177
00:08:14,122 --> 00:08:17,020
And again.

178
00:08:17,022 --> 00:08:20,187
Look at us! We're
like the Rockettes!

179
00:08:20,987 --> 00:08:22,754
En garde,
Leonard.

180
00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:26,053
Prepare yourself
for a rigorous touching.

181
00:08:28,954 --> 00:08:30,820
My name is Inigo Montoya.

182
00:08:30,822 --> 00:08:32,687
You killed my father.

183
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,253
Prepare to die.

184
00:08:34,255 --> 00:08:35,920
My name

185
00:08:35,922 --> 00:08:36,953
is Inigo Montoya.

186
00:08:36,955 --> 00:08:39,387
You killed my
father. Prepare

187
00:08:39,389 --> 00:08:40,986
to die.

188
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,320
I thought
you were Puss in Boots.

189
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:44,553
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.

190
00:08:44,555 --> 00:08:46,687
My name is Puss in Boots.

191
00:08:46,689 --> 00:08:48,453
You killed my father.

192
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,186
Prepare to die.

193
00:08:52,388 --> 00:08:55,420
I'm looking forward to him
teaching us glove-slapping.

194
00:08:55,422 --> 00:08:57,220
What?

195
00:08:57,222 --> 00:08:59,786
You know, when my
honor is insulted,

196
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:01,919
and I need to challenge
someone to a duel

197
00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:05,752
by slapping them across
the face with my glove.

198
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,119
When was your honor insulted?

199
00:09:07,121 --> 00:09:10,720
My last physical.

200
00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:13,053
Again, that doctor
didn't insult your honor.

201
00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:15,220
Just checked your prostate.

202
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:19,819
My name is Little
Orphan Annie.

203
00:09:19,821 --> 00:09:21,687
You killed my father.

204
00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:24,053
Prepare to die.

205
00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:29,286
My name is Darth Vader.

206
00:09:29,288 --> 00:09:32,386
I am your father. Ah!

207
00:09:34,087 --> 00:09:36,386
This is fun.
Good.

208
00:09:36,388 --> 00:09:38,419
It's nice
to see your mind off Amy.

209
00:09:38,421 --> 00:09:39,852
What's going on with Amy?

210
00:09:39,854 --> 00:09:41,520
Not that it's any
of your business,

211
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:42,919
but she broke up with me.

212
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:44,419
Really?

213
00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:46,119
Good to know.

214
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,086
"Good to know"?

215
00:09:50,088 --> 00:09:51,919
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh.

216
00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:55,119
I hate to say it, but it sounds
like he's interested in her.

217
00:09:55,121 --> 00:09:58,152
Well, that's unacceptable.

218
00:09:58,154 --> 00:10:00,319
Oh, buddy, I get
that you don't like it,

219
00:10:00,321 --> 00:10:02,152
but it's not
really up to you.

220
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:05,319
Yeah, but he's dumb,
and his face is dumb.

221
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:08,586
Look, even if it's not him,

222
00:10:08,588 --> 00:10:12,085
Amy's probably going
to date someone at some point.

223
00:10:12,087 --> 00:10:13,718
You really think so?

224
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,386
Of course.
She deserves to be happy.

225
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:19,152
How dare you!

226
00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:30,397
Listen, I should warn you

227
00:10:30,399 --> 00:10:34,230
that maybe asking Amy out
isn't a good idea.

228
00:10:34,232 --> 00:10:35,630
Barry, a word?

229
00:10:35,632 --> 00:10:38,230
And now the crazy version
of what I just said.

230
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,197
If you intend to pursue Amy,

231
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,963
you leave me with no choice
but to put a stop to it.

232
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:46,696
And how are you gonna do that?

233
00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:48,397
By challenging you to a duel.

234
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:52,497
You've had one lesson.
I'll destroy you.

235
00:10:52,499 --> 00:10:54,663
That is why
the duel will take place

236
00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:57,630
at high noon,
three years from today.

237
00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:01,030
If you're worth your salt
as an instructor,

238
00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:02,263
I should be ready by then.

239
00:11:02,265 --> 00:11:04,330
Yeah, and be warned.

240
00:11:04,332 --> 00:11:06,363
I'm going to touch you all over.

241
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:14,029
Wow. That-that was crazier
than I thought.

242
00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:18,029
All right,
I'm not saying

243
00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:20,430
it's true, but let's-let's
consider for a moment

244
00:11:20,432 --> 00:11:22,896
that possibly I'm the problem.
Yeah.

245
00:11:22,898 --> 00:11:24,163
You are.
You can say it.

246
00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:25,729
Okay, fine. What...?

247
00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:27,263
I mean, what
can I do?

248
00:11:27,265 --> 00:11:29,063
I get so nervous
around women.

249
00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:30,530
Well, you're talking
to us now.

250
00:11:30,532 --> 00:11:31,963
I mean, you don't seem nervous.

251
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:33,563
Well, that's
'cause I'm doing that trick

252
00:11:33,565 --> 00:11:36,196
where you imagine
the audience is naked.

253
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,796
By the way, thumbs up, ladies.

254
00:11:41,863 --> 00:11:44,363
Do you not hear
how creepy that sounds?

255
00:11:44,365 --> 00:11:46,296
It was a joke.

256
00:11:46,298 --> 00:11:47,463
Was it?

257
00:11:47,465 --> 00:11:49,263
No, I'm still doing it.

258
00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:52,163
Okay.

259
00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:54,129
Don't be offended, but...

260
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,463
what went wrong with you?

261
00:11:56,465 --> 00:12:00,996
I-I guess I assumed
at this point in my life,

262
00:12:00,998 --> 00:12:04,129
I would be married
or in a relationship,

263
00:12:04,131 --> 00:12:05,563
or even have a pet

264
00:12:05,565 --> 00:12:08,262
that didn't run away
or kill itself.

265
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:11,029
That really happened?

266
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,363
I mean, I can't say for sure,
but I swear

267
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,229
that rabbit looked me
right in the eye

268
00:12:15,231 --> 00:12:17,362
before it hopped
in front of that car.

269
00:12:17,364 --> 00:12:19,229
Anyway,

270
00:12:19,231 --> 00:12:21,463
the longer I'm alone,
the more desperate I get.

271
00:12:21,465 --> 00:12:26,895
Stuart, believe it or not,
I understand.

272
00:12:26,897 --> 00:12:28,429
You know, before I met Sheldon,

273
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:31,062
I was alone
for a really long time.

274
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:32,962
I was so desperate

275
00:12:32,964 --> 00:12:35,329
for people to like me,
when I met these guys,

276
00:12:35,331 --> 00:12:38,595
it took everything in my power
to hide my insecurity.

277
00:12:41,596 --> 00:12:43,728
Okay, we're all feeling it.

278
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,962
Yes, I'll go out with you.

279
00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:52,496
Suddenly, the rabbit thing
makes sense.

280
00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:58,028
I'm surprised you wanted to go
to a sports bar, Sheldon.

281
00:12:58,030 --> 00:13:00,496
Look at this blister.

282
00:13:00,498 --> 00:13:02,995
Like it or not,
we're athletes now.

283
00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:06,229
Besides, a bar is
where I belong.

284
00:13:06,231 --> 00:13:08,429
I'm having female problems.

285
00:13:08,431 --> 00:13:11,228
If you're cranky and retaining
water, I have a theory.

286
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:15,429
Sheldon, instead of focusing
on Amy dating other guys,

287
00:13:15,431 --> 00:13:17,961
maybe you should start thinking
about dating another girl.

288
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,128
That's ridiculous.

289
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,429
Why? You never thought

290
00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:22,694
you'd end up in a relationship,

291
00:13:22,696 --> 00:13:23,861
and then you met Amy.

292
00:13:23,863 --> 00:13:25,328
Maybe there's someone else
out there for you.

293
00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:29,462
True, but Penny's married,
and so is Bernadette.

294
00:13:30,662 --> 00:13:32,861
And your girlfriend has
red hair and white skin,

295
00:13:32,863 --> 00:13:36,028
which really rubs up
against my clown phobia.

296
00:13:37,329 --> 00:13:38,928
Maybe you should consider women

297
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,295
who aren't
in serious relationships

298
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,861
with your closest friends?

299
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:45,395
There's that prostate doctor,
but I'm still mad at her.

300
00:13:47,595 --> 00:13:49,195
Oh, there's a woman.

301
00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:50,594
Oh, I'll make her my girlfriend.

302
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,261
Whoa, whoa.

303
00:13:53,263 --> 00:13:57,395
Walking up to a strange woman
in a bar usually doesn't work.

304
00:13:57,397 --> 00:13:59,295
You're forgetting something.

305
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,861
Ladies love jocks.

306
00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:04,028
How many sips
of that beer did he have?

307
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:05,894
Three.
Oh, boy.

308
00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:12,295
Excuse me. I'm recovering
from a recent breakup,

309
00:14:12,297 --> 00:14:16,094
and I'm told asking out another
woman might make me feel better.

310
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:20,295
And as Ash Ketchum said
to Pikachu, "I choose you."

311
00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:22,261
What?

312
00:14:22,263 --> 00:14:24,428
It's a Pokémon reference.

313
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,128
I don't know what that means.

314
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,261
Well, we gave it a shot.

315
00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:31,660
How about you?

316
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,861
I'm married,
and I'm her grandmother.

317
00:14:34,863 --> 00:14:37,694
Ah, what might have been.

318
00:14:37,696 --> 00:14:41,760
And you, give my regards
to Barnum and Bailey.

319
00:14:44,895 --> 00:14:48,228
Stuart took that rejection
like a pro.

320
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:51,094
Well, he knew
he was on the breast cam.

321
00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:55,727
I don't have much practice
turning men down.

322
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,261
It wasn't so much fun.

323
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,593
Oh, you get used to it.

324
00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:00,860
Some guys you have
to turn down over and over.

325
00:15:00,862 --> 00:15:03,560
And sometimes
we marry them anyway.

326
00:15:05,562 --> 00:15:07,794
Huh.

327
00:15:07,796 --> 00:15:10,027
Well, this is weird.

328
00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:13,094
What?
Barry Kripke just asked me out.

329
00:15:13,096 --> 00:15:14,460
Oh.

330
00:15:14,462 --> 00:15:16,827
Look at you...
two guys in one day!

331
00:15:16,829 --> 00:15:20,560
I told you things would change
if you plucked your eyebrows!

332
00:15:21,995 --> 00:15:23,727
What did he say?

333
00:15:23,729 --> 00:15:26,194
"Hi, how are you?
I was wondering

334
00:15:26,196 --> 00:15:29,127
if you'd like to get a drink
after work sometime."

335
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,760
Well, what are
you gonna do?

336
00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:32,660
I don't know.

337
00:15:32,662 --> 00:15:35,727
I guess I assumed that I would
eventually date other people,

338
00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:37,960
but this is happening so fast.

339
00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:39,560
What can it hurt?

340
00:15:39,562 --> 00:15:41,560
Well, I was hoping the
next person I dated

341
00:15:41,562 --> 00:15:43,526
would be a little
less like Sheldon.

342
00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:45,227
You mean, not a scientist?

343
00:15:45,229 --> 00:15:47,294
I think she means not a weirdo.

344
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:49,927
Are you attracted
to him?

345
00:15:49,929 --> 00:15:52,160
I don't know.

346
00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:54,960
All right, well, what happens
if you imagine him naked?

347
00:15:54,962 --> 00:15:56,160
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.

348
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,660
I smell funny.

349
00:16:07,494 --> 00:16:09,760
I taste salty.

350
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:12,826
You're just sweaty
from exercise.

351
00:16:12,828 --> 00:16:14,326
And kind of delicious.

352
00:16:16,228 --> 00:16:19,759
I wonder how many licks it would
take to get to the center of me.

353
00:16:22,594 --> 00:16:25,060
I know it only takes
one doctor's finger.

354
00:16:27,994 --> 00:16:29,426
Hello.

355
00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:31,093
Hello.

356
00:16:31,095 --> 00:16:32,693
We should let
you guys talk.

357
00:16:32,695 --> 00:16:33,626
Yeah.

358
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:34,926
You don't have to leave.

359
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,759
Look at me go!

360
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,060
Uh, Bernadette,
you're my ride.

361
00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:41,325
Walk!

362
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,959
How have you been?

363
00:16:47,961 --> 00:16:49,926
I'm doing all right.

364
00:16:49,928 --> 00:16:52,260
I tried fencing today.

365
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,059
How'd that go?

366
00:16:54,061 --> 00:16:56,692
It was pretty easy.

367
00:16:56,694 --> 00:16:59,260
And I think my background
in "mathletics" helped.

368
00:17:00,927 --> 00:17:03,226
Barry Kripke was there.

369
00:17:03,228 --> 00:17:04,492
I should let you know

370
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:07,425
that he expressed interest
in asking you out.

371
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:10,325
Well, actually,
he-he already did.

372
00:17:10,327 --> 00:17:12,292
Okay.

373
00:17:12,294 --> 00:17:14,059
But don't get
too attached to him.

374
00:17:14,061 --> 00:17:17,193
In two years, 364 days,
he's a dead man.

375
00:17:20,493 --> 00:17:21,826
I said no.

376
00:17:21,828 --> 00:17:23,425
Interesting.

377
00:17:23,427 --> 00:17:27,592
I asked two women out today,
and they both said no.

378
00:17:27,594 --> 00:17:30,992
I didn't know you
were interested in dating.

379
00:17:30,994 --> 00:17:34,258
I've been told
it's a good way to move on.

380
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,592
Oh.

381
00:17:36,594 --> 00:17:38,458
Okay.

382
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:44,625
Anyway, um,
it's nice to see you.

383
00:17:44,627 --> 00:17:46,226
You look good.

384
00:17:46,228 --> 00:17:47,226
Mmm, thanks.

385
00:17:47,228 --> 00:17:48,625
And I taste good too.

386
00:18:00,284 --> 00:18:02,517
Howie?

387
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:04,332
What's up?

388
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,967
Why does your Fitbit say
you ran 174 miles yesterday?

389
00:18:11,862 --> 00:18:18,355
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man