1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:03,278
Did you hear about this study
that found people

2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,879
that were cool and popular
at 13

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,612
have problems succeeding
later in life?

4
00:00:07,614 --> 00:00:10,045
Hmm. I'm doing okay,
and I was very popular at 13.

5
00:00:10,047 --> 00:00:11,178
In school?

6
00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:12,845
Oh, no. At home.

7
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,812
The servants would sing to me,

8
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:16,712
laugh at my jokes...

9
00:00:17,514 --> 00:00:21,011
I wish I knew their names.

10
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:23,978
Does the study say what happens
to the unpopular kids?

11
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,445
You tell me... you woke up
in bed with one.

12
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,412
Listen to this.

13
00:00:29,414 --> 00:00:32,111
I just received an e-mail
from Wil Wheaton.

14
00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:35,111
Leonard Nimoy's son is
working on a documentary

15
00:00:35,113 --> 00:00:37,378
that he started with his
father before he passed away.

16
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:39,578
It's about Mr. Spock and
his impact on our culture.

17
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:40,545
Hmm.

18
00:00:40,547 --> 00:00:41,779
Why is he writing to you?

19
00:00:41,781 --> 00:00:43,779
Well, they're looking
for fans to interview,

20
00:00:43,781 --> 00:00:45,545
and Wil thought
I'd be good for it.

21
00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:46,612
Oh. Hey, high five.

22
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,011
Absolutely not.

23
00:00:49,647 --> 00:00:50,612
Yeah, Penny,

24
00:00:50,614 --> 00:00:51,779
you spent some time
in front

25
00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:54,111
of the camera.
Any words of advice?

26
00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:55,412
Yes. Don't take your shirt off

27
00:00:55,414 --> 00:00:57,812
just because the director
said so.

28
00:00:57,814 --> 00:01:00,045
This is a documentary
about Mr. Spock.

29
00:01:00,047 --> 00:01:03,512
I'm sure if there's nudity,
it will be tasteful.

30
00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:33,428
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

31
00:01:37,668 --> 00:01:39,232
Hey. You got a minute?

32
00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,366
Not really.

33
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:43,699
Visigoths are kind of up my butt
right now.

34
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:45,633
Pause the game, Howard.

35
00:01:45,635 --> 00:01:47,199
"Howard"? Uh-oh.

36
00:01:47,201 --> 00:01:49,798
Make room, Visigoths.

37
00:01:50,334 --> 00:01:51,999
'Sup?

38
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,239
We need to talk
about redecorating this place.

39
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,166
Oh, no, not this again.
Look,

40
00:01:57,167 --> 00:02:00,165
I get that you grew up here
and you're attached to things

41
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,499
looking
a certain way, but...

42
00:02:01,501 --> 00:02:04,137
I want this to feel
like my house, too.

43
00:02:04,138 --> 00:02:06,767
Oh, honey, of course
it's your house.

44
00:02:06,768 --> 00:02:09,965
Why else would you
be cleaning it all the time?

45
00:02:12,134 --> 00:02:14,032
All right.
Let's start over.

46
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,332
I'm redecorating.

47
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,466
The furniture,
the carpeting, the walls.

48
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:20,299
I'm changing everything that
depresses me when I look at it.

49
00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:22,366
Try not to be one
of those things.

50
00:02:23,234 --> 00:02:24,932
May I say something?

51
00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:26,965
Is it about how I can't have
new wallpaper

52
00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:29,366
'cause your dad left when you
were little and your mom died?

53
00:02:29,368 --> 00:02:31,132
Never mind.

54
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:36,132
Hello, Amy. It's Sheldon.

55
00:02:36,134 --> 00:02:38,432
Yeah, I-I know
that we're broken up, but

56
00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,733
I'm leaving this message because
I thought perhaps you'd like

57
00:02:40,735 --> 00:02:44,399
to watch me be interviewed for
a documentary about Mr. Spock.

58
00:02:44,401 --> 00:02:48,165
Or as I like to call it,
a Spockumentary.

59
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,532
Yeah, I'm going to use

60
00:02:49,534 --> 00:02:51,633
that joke in the interview,
so try to laugh

61
00:02:51,635 --> 00:02:53,898
like you're hearing it
for the first time.

62
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,699
You know, hysterically, hmm?

63
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:59,599
And with a tinge of sadness
that I'm no longer in your life.

64
00:02:59,601 --> 00:03:02,165
I'm the one who thought
of "Spockumentary"

65
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:04,633
And I'm laughing like I did
the first time I heard it.

66
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:09,699
Hello.

67
00:03:09,701 --> 00:03:10,765
Hey, Sheldon.

68
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:11,898
This is Adam Nimoy.

69
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,332
Nice to meet you.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.

70
00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:16,699
I admire your father's work
very much.

71
00:03:16,701 --> 00:03:19,499
It's not every day I get to meet
someone whose life's journey

72
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:21,999
began in my hero's scrotum.

73
00:03:24,268 --> 00:03:27,199
I told you.
This guy is gold.

74
00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:33,032
Whatcha doing?
Oh!

75
00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:35,666
Making myself a bologna sandwich
like my mom used to make me

76
00:03:35,668 --> 00:03:38,266
after my dad left,
but before she died.

77
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,898
Okay, listen, I'm thinking

78
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,299
that maybe we can compromise
on the house.

79
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:48,832
I'm listening.

80
00:03:48,834 --> 00:03:51,798
Let's just redo one room
and see how it goes.

81
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,165
That is reasonable.

82
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:55,065
But what room?

83
00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:56,665
How 'bout this one?

84
00:03:56,667 --> 00:04:01,366
No way. No, this is the room I
associate the most with my mom.

85
00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,299
Then how 'bout the bathroom?

86
00:04:03,301 --> 00:04:06,165
I want to change my answer.

87
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:08,865
Fine. Then the dining room.

88
00:04:08,867 --> 00:04:11,499
I guess we didn't use it
very often.

89
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,865
Unless we had company.

90
00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:15,399
Which didn't happen much
after my dad left and not at all

91
00:04:15,401 --> 00:04:16,112
after my mom...

92
00:04:16,136 --> 00:04:17,814
Great! I'm gonna go
pick out paint samples.

93
00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,665
All right, we're just gonna
have a conversation.

94
00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:24,999
Pretend the
camera's not here.

95
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:27,132
All right.
But this better not be

96
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,732
some elaborate scheme
to get me out of my shirt.

97
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,165
How long have
you known Adam?

98
00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,599
A few years.
Mm-hmm.

99
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:37,732
And what are you
getting him back for?

100
00:04:38,634 --> 00:04:40,366
Let's start with your
name and occupation.

101
00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:44,399
Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
theoretical physicist, Caltech.

102
00:04:44,401 --> 00:04:48,266
And what is your earliest memory
of the character Spock?

103
00:04:48,268 --> 00:04:52,898
The first episode of Star Trek:
The Original Series I ever saw

104
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,898
was "The Galileo Seven."

105
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,332
Uh, Spock had just landed
on the planet Taurus II.

106
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:00,865
Then my brother came in,
sat on my head,

107
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,566
and said, "Eat farts."

108
00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:06,332
After that day, I was hooked.

109
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:08,032
On Star Trek,

110
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:11,065
not my brother's
sphincter-based cuisine.

111
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,499
What was it about Spock
that appealed to you?

112
00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:18,566
I think the same thing that
appeals to people everywhere,

113
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,532
the dream
of a cold, rational world

114
00:05:21,534 --> 00:05:23,665
entirely without human emotion.

115
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,632
Spock came

116
00:05:25,634 --> 00:05:27,665
from a planet governed
only by logic.

117
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,932
You know, on Vulcan,
when your brother asks,

118
00:05:29,934 --> 00:05:32,466
"Why are you hitting yourself?"
the answer is,

119
00:05:32,468 --> 00:05:33,832
"I'm not.

120
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,665
You're moving my arm."

121
00:05:37,268 --> 00:05:38,199
To which he says,

122
00:05:38,201 --> 00:05:39,565
"Fascinating."

123
00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:43,399
And then you both watch
educational television.

124
00:05:43,401 --> 00:05:45,199
Aw. When he says
things like that,

125
00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,366
I just want to hug him
and make everything better.

126
00:05:47,368 --> 00:05:49,399
My brother was
mean to me, too.

127
00:05:49,401 --> 00:05:51,065
Yeah, you probably
had it coming.

128
00:05:53,268 --> 00:05:55,132
Do you have
any Spock collectibles?

129
00:05:55,134 --> 00:05:56,199
I have many.

130
00:05:56,201 --> 00:05:58,632
My most treasured
is an autographed napkin

131
00:05:58,634 --> 00:06:01,366
given to me by my
very thoughtful friend Penny.

132
00:06:01,368 --> 00:06:02,698
That's her over there.

133
00:06:04,934 --> 00:06:07,132
Hi!

134
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,165
Look at that.

135
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:12,798
I'm in a movie,
my shirt stayed on.

136
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,531
Can we see the napkin?

137
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:15,999
Of course. Excuse me.

138
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,499
This will just take a moment.

139
00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:31,898
When did we get
a wall safe?

140
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:36,232
When there was no more room
in the floor safe.

141
00:06:36,234 --> 00:06:39,032
When did we get
a floor safe?

142
00:06:39,034 --> 00:06:41,999
When we got the security camera.

143
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,232
There's a
security camera?

144
00:06:45,201 --> 00:06:48,165
Aquaman, protecting your home
since 2012.

145
00:06:50,134 --> 00:06:53,165
Oh, my God.
We've done things on that couch.

146
00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:54,999
Yeah. You don't have to tell me.

147
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,932
So, your father-in-law
is in there right now?

148
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:01,165
Yes. So back me up.

149
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,466
The house is good the way it is.
Oh, okay. Got it.

150
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,232
Hey. What's going on?

151
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:07,698
Hey.
Hey, Raj.

152
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,232
Dad and I were just talking
about taking down this wall.

153
00:07:10,234 --> 00:07:14,999
You sure? It's a...
pretty great wall.

154
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,732
What's so great about it?

155
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:19,798
I'm sorry.
I did what I could.

156
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,999
Seriously? You brought Raj over
to take your side?

157
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:25,665
Your dad's on your side.

158
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,132
He's not on my side. He's doing
all the work for free.

159
00:07:28,134 --> 00:07:31,032
That is so
generous of you.

160
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:35,032
I'd like to switch sides.

161
00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:36,299
Look, uh...

162
00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:37,898
I don't even think
you can take this wall down

163
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,099
'cause it's load-bearing.

164
00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:40,366
Well, it's easy to find out.

165
00:07:40,368 --> 00:07:42,565
Just go into the crawlspace
under the house and check.

166
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:45,299
When is your visa up?

167
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,765
Not only is it signed to me

168
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,598
but this is where he wiped
his mouth.

169
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:57,065
So we are currently in the
presence of Leonard Nimoy's DNA.

170
00:07:57,067 --> 00:08:00,531
Um, doesn't Adam count
as Leonard Nimoy's DNA?

171
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:04,465
No offense, but this is
pure 100% Nimoy.

172
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:07,266
Because of your mother,
you're only 50%.

173
00:08:07,268 --> 00:08:09,832
Which isn't bad,

174
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:13,665
but anything that you wipe
your mouth on gets thrown away.

175
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,999
Okay, enough
about the napkin.

176
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:17,032
What else you
hiding in there?

177
00:08:17,034 --> 00:08:18,299
Wouldn't you like
to know?

178
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:19,965
I would.
All right then.

179
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,898
See? Just my valuables.

180
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:25,665
My passport, uh, my will...
You have a will?

181
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,299
Yeah... my 1/18 scale
Wil Wheaton action figure.

182
00:08:29,867 --> 00:08:31,531
I also have the other kind
of will,

183
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:35,732
and in it I will my Wil
back to Wil.

184
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:36,698
Will Wil want it?

185
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,132
Wil won't.

186
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,498
What's that ring box?

187
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,565
Oh. That is

188
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:42,865
an engagement ring

189
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:45,065
that I was going to give
my girlfriend Amy.

190
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,865
What?

191
00:08:48,368 --> 00:08:49,999
You bought her a ring?

192
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:51,032
No, no, no. This has been
in my family

193
00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:54,032
for generations.
Except for a short time

194
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,498
when Comanches cut off my
great-great-great-grandmother's

195
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,665
finger and stole it.

196
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,912
Sheldon, that's awful.
No.

197
00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:03,112
The Texas Rangers tracked them
down to their village

198
00:09:03,114 --> 00:09:04,779
and slaughtered
every last one of them, so...

199
00:09:04,781 --> 00:09:08,079
it was a happy ending.

200
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,378
Well, for my nine-fingered Nana.

201
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:14,212
Okay, back to the ring.
Does Amy even know about this?

202
00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:17,412
No. She broke up with me before
I could broach the subject.

203
00:09:17,414 --> 00:09:19,945
Oh, man, I'm sorry...
that must have been devastating for you.

204
00:09:19,947 --> 00:09:21,445
No, not at all.
No, I'm fine.

205
00:09:21,447 --> 00:09:23,712
You know, Amy had reservations
about our relationship,

206
00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:25,378
so all worked out
for the best.

207
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,545
- I know. It just...
- I said I'm fine!

208
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:36,079
We've gotten a little off-topic.

209
00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,412
Allow me to make things
entertaining again

210
00:09:38,414 --> 00:09:41,279
in this little Spockumentary.

211
00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:47,246
That was Leonard's joke.

212
00:09:57,414 --> 00:10:00,479
As a child,
when faced with a dilemma,

213
00:10:00,481 --> 00:10:03,912
my mother encouraged me to ask,
"What would Jesus do?"

214
00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:07,280
The answer to that was always,
"Love thy neighbor."

215
00:10:07,282 --> 00:10:11,779
But my neighbor had
a dead tooth, so...

216
00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,946
that wasn't going to happen.

217
00:10:13,948 --> 00:10:15,779
But...

218
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:19,912
that's why I changed it
to, "What would Spock do?"

219
00:10:19,914 --> 00:10:21,512
Did you find that helpful?

220
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:24,312
Yes. Oh, for example,
three years ago

221
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:27,079
when I discovered Penny
was eating all my Pop-Tarts,

222
00:10:27,081 --> 00:10:29,846
instead of getting angry
or vindictive,

223
00:10:29,848 --> 00:10:32,479
you know, I got a floor safe.

224
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:35,779
I knew I could smell 'em.

225
00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:37,779
What about
from when you were a kid?

226
00:10:37,781 --> 00:10:40,379
Oh, certainly.
Uh, when I was eight years old,

227
00:10:40,381 --> 00:10:42,646
Billy Sparks cornered me
in the playground.

228
00:10:42,648 --> 00:10:45,079
I asked myself,
"What would Spock do?"

229
00:10:45,081 --> 00:10:47,612
Then I grabbed Billy
on his shoulder

230
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,979
and performed
my first Vulcan nerve pinch.

231
00:10:52,381 --> 00:10:53,612
Did it work?

232
00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:55,912
Oh, no... he broke my collarbone.

233
00:10:56,814 --> 00:11:00,345
I can still hear it click.

234
00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:01,794
That must have been
very upsetting for you.

235
00:11:01,818 --> 00:11:03,313
Oh, not at all.

236
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:06,179
As I said, the entire point
of emulating Spock

237
00:11:06,181 --> 00:11:08,579
was to rise above human emotion,

238
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,779
which I've spent
a lifetime mastering.

239
00:11:10,781 --> 00:11:12,312
Oh...

240
00:11:13,148 --> 00:11:15,213
Excuse me?

241
00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:17,345
I'm sorry.
I'm not here.

242
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:19,812
- No. You went.
- What does mean?

243
00:11:19,814 --> 00:11:21,179
Um...

244
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,312
You did go.

245
00:11:23,314 --> 00:11:25,479
All right, fine.
Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert,

246
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:28,079
but aren't you completely
missing the point of Spock?

247
00:11:28,081 --> 00:11:29,379
I mean, he liked to act

248
00:11:29,381 --> 00:11:31,679
like he had no emotions,
but he was still half human.

249
00:11:31,681 --> 00:11:33,146
Just like you.

250
00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:35,779
I'm just saying,
you pretend you don't,

251
00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:37,512
but you have feelings
just like everybody else.

252
00:11:37,514 --> 00:11:39,979
Not true. No, look at me.

253
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:42,245
I had an engagement
ring to give a girl,

254
00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:43,812
and instead,
she rejected me.

255
00:11:43,814 --> 00:11:45,679
And am I emotional
about that? No.

256
00:11:45,681 --> 00:11:47,846
No, I am sitting here
on a couch,

257
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,646
talking about my
favorite TV character

258
00:11:49,648 --> 00:11:50,979
like nothing happened.

259
00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:53,545
'Cause I am just like him:
all logical, all the time.

260
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:54,612
Sweetie, you're yelling.

261
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,212
Because when I speak
at a regular volume,

262
00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:57,412
no one seems to believe me

263
00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:59,345
that I've put
this Amy nonsense behind me!

264
00:12:04,781 --> 00:12:08,846
This documentary
is gonna be awesome.

265
00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:14,079
You gonna be okay down here?
Yeah. Yeah,

266
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:15,545
I feel like
an archaeologist.

267
00:12:15,547 --> 00:12:19,013
Indiana Jones and
the Single-Family Dwelling.

268
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:21,646
Hey. Look!

269
00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:23,545
Found a seashell.

270
00:12:23,547 --> 00:12:26,746
Yeah, that's a rat skull.

271
00:12:26,748 --> 00:12:28,646
Relax.

272
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:32,212
There's enough droppings down
here without you making more.

273
00:12:32,214 --> 00:12:35,712
Sorry. Do you have a...
sense of where we are?

274
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,646
Yeah. I think that's the den.

275
00:12:37,648 --> 00:12:40,512
Oh. Okay, so we must be
under the dining room.

276
00:12:40,514 --> 00:12:41,912
Uh-huh. Yep.

277
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:44,679
You know, I know you
don't want to hear this,

278
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,412
but it wouldn't take that
much work to turn that den

279
00:12:47,414 --> 00:12:49,212
into a nursery.

280
00:12:49,214 --> 00:12:51,412
Why wouldn't I want to hear it?

281
00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:53,712
'Cause Bernie said
you didn't want kids.

282
00:12:53,714 --> 00:12:55,479
That's not true at all.

283
00:12:55,481 --> 00:12:56,912
I-I wish

284
00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,812
she'd get pregnant, believe me.

285
00:12:58,814 --> 00:13:02,612
I'm climbing on top of her
every chance I get.

286
00:13:03,648 --> 00:13:07,046
In a... loving
and respectful manner.

287
00:13:07,048 --> 00:13:08,079
Oh.

288
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:10,646
The point is,

289
00:13:10,648 --> 00:13:13,646
I really do want kids.

290
00:13:13,648 --> 00:13:15,178
Huh.

291
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:17,812
I don't know why
she's lying to you.

292
00:13:17,814 --> 00:13:19,779
She's the one
who doesn't want kids.

293
00:13:19,781 --> 00:13:21,479
In fact, every time I
bring up the subject...

294
00:13:21,481 --> 00:13:23,312
Earthquake!

295
00:13:25,381 --> 00:13:27,679
Oh, my God,
we're gonna die!

296
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,579
Earthquake!

297
00:13:30,214 --> 00:13:33,379
Aftershock...!

298
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,279
I can't believe Sheldon was
gonna ask Amy to marry him.

299
00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:38,779
I know.
I also can't believe

300
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:40,712
he watched what we did
on that couch

301
00:13:40,714 --> 00:13:42,946
and still sits on it.
Yeah.

302
00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:46,312
Hello.

303
00:13:46,314 --> 00:13:47,646
Hey, buddy.
How you doing?

304
00:13:47,648 --> 00:13:48,679
Better.

305
00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:50,679
Did Wil and Adam leave?
Yeah.

306
00:13:50,681 --> 00:13:53,046
Do you think they're
going to put my outburst

307
00:13:53,048 --> 00:13:54,379
in the documentary?

308
00:13:54,381 --> 00:13:56,479
Definitely.
Oh, yeah.

309
00:13:56,481 --> 00:13:59,979
Well, there's no point
in dwelling on it.

310
00:13:59,981 --> 00:14:01,545
As the Vulcans say,

311
00:14:01,547 --> 00:14:05,512
"Kup-fun-tor
ha'kiv na'ish Du stau."

312
00:14:06,281 --> 00:14:08,679
Do you know what that means?
No.

313
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,846
Are you telling the truth?

314
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,946
Nirsh.

315
00:14:13,247 --> 00:14:15,646
Well, this is ridiculous.
Being upset about Amy

316
00:14:15,648 --> 00:14:17,379
all the time
isn't accomplishing anything.

317
00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:19,112
If I want to resolve
this situation,

318
00:14:19,114 --> 00:14:20,746
then I need to take action.

319
00:14:20,748 --> 00:14:22,946
What are you gonna do?
I'm going to find her

320
00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,078
and ask her to marry me.

321
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,512
And if she says yes,
we can put this behind us

322
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:28,245
and resume our relationship.

323
00:14:28,247 --> 00:14:29,946
And if she says no...

324
00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:33,379
well, then
she can just ponfo miran.

325
00:14:35,914 --> 00:14:38,078
He didn't meant that.

326
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:46,012
So I should probably explain
why I kind of fibbed.

327
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:51,812
That would be nice.

328
00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:54,145
I told my dad that
you were the one

329
00:14:54,147 --> 00:14:57,245
who didn't want kids because I
didn't want to disappoint him.

330
00:14:57,247 --> 00:14:59,879
But you were okay
throwing me under the bus?

331
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:03,178
Turns out yeah,
I didn't think twice about it.

332
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:06,646
Bernie, you don't need
to worry about me.

333
00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:09,212
But I don't want
to see you miss out.

334
00:15:09,214 --> 00:15:10,779
Raising children

335
00:15:10,781 --> 00:15:13,779
was the most rewarding
experience of my life.

336
00:15:13,781 --> 00:15:15,445
Oh, please.
Mom did everything.

337
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,679
All you did was
come home from work,

338
00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:19,412
sit on the couch and drink beer.

339
00:15:19,414 --> 00:15:21,345
How is that raising kids?

340
00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:23,045
This is really

341
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,078
a conversation
for husband and wife.

342
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,178
I'm gonna go clean up,
hit the road.

343
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:31,245
If your mother asks,
I was here till 10:00.

344
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:36,679
It's interesting your father
didn't help around the house

345
00:15:36,681 --> 00:15:38,679
and Howard doesn't help, either,

346
00:15:38,681 --> 00:15:40,145
so... in a way,

347
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:42,512
Howard's not only
like your father,

348
00:15:42,514 --> 00:15:47,245
but he's also like the child
that you're afraid to have.

349
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,245
Why are you still here?

350
00:15:52,314 --> 00:15:54,078
Fine, I'll leave.

351
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,212
But it sounds like
somebody needs a fresh diaper.

352
00:16:02,281 --> 00:16:03,646
All right...

353
00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:06,712
I admit...
that I don't help out a lot.

354
00:16:06,714 --> 00:16:09,445
And I need to work on that.

355
00:16:09,447 --> 00:16:10,579
But...

356
00:16:10,581 --> 00:16:12,112
if we had a kid,

357
00:16:12,114 --> 00:16:13,379
it would be different.

358
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,012
Why?
Because...

359
00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:17,345
when my dad left,

360
00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:19,712
I promised myself that...

361
00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:24,145
if I ever had a chance
to be a father...

362
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:26,545
I'd always be there.

363
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,245
Okay, I'll think about it.

364
00:16:30,247 --> 00:16:32,312
And this an actual
"I'll think about it,"

365
00:16:32,314 --> 00:16:34,345
not like the
"can we get a motorcycle

366
00:16:34,347 --> 00:16:36,879
with a sidecar
I'll think about it"?

367
00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:40,512
It's an actual
"I'll think about it."

368
00:16:40,514 --> 00:16:44,412
I really believe
I'd be a great dad.

369
00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:46,879
I know you would.

370
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,679
Speaking of...

371
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:51,145
making babies,
what do you say I wash up

372
00:16:51,147 --> 00:16:53,779
and poke around your crawlspace?

373
00:17:29,692 --> 00:17:31,590
Dr. Dana feels
he isn't that dangerous.

374
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,089
What makes you right and
a trained psychiatrist wrong?

375
00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:36,356
Because she feels. I don't.

376
00:17:36,358 --> 00:17:37,889
All I know is logic.

377
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,590
Yeah, right.

378
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,557
You can just shut
your feelings off.

379
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:44,923
There goes television,
lying to us again.

380
00:17:44,925 --> 00:17:46,123
We let you

381
00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:47,223
raise our children,

382
00:17:47,225 --> 00:17:49,256
and this is the thanks we get.

383
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:51,723
Leonard, how could I
have been so foolish

384
00:17:51,725 --> 00:17:53,856
to try and follow
in the footsteps

385
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:56,723
of a made-up alien race
with no emotions?

386
00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:58,290
Well...

387
00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:00,290
now instead of idolizing
fictional characters,

388
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:04,256
you can focus on the real people
who are already in your life.

389
00:18:05,991 --> 00:18:08,089
Those are very wise words.

390
00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:09,290
Thank you.

391
00:18:09,292 --> 00:18:10,690
They'd just be
so much more comforting

392
00:18:10,692 --> 00:18:12,390
if they came
out of a television.

393
00:18:14,188 --> 00:18:20,682
Captioning sponsored by CBS,