1
00:00:01,499 --> 00:00:03,230
without pressing
any buttons?

2
00:00:03,232 --> 00:00:04,664
No. How does it work?

3
00:00:04,666 --> 00:00:08,098
You just say, uh, "Hey,
Siri, what time is it?"

4
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,364
The time is 6:37 p.m.

5
00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:11,564
Yeah.

6
00:00:11,566 --> 00:00:13,797
So now anyone
can control your phone?

7
00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:17,031
Hey, Siri, show me pictures
of naked grandma butts.

8
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,764
Nice try.

9
00:00:18,766 --> 00:00:21,964
It only recognizes my voice.
Oh. Cool.

10
00:00:21,966 --> 00:00:25,031
Hey, Siri, show me
pictures of naked grandma butts.

11
00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:28,031
I don't sound
like that.

12
00:00:28,033 --> 00:00:31,897
Here are some images
of naked grandma butts.

13
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,297
Hey. Good news,
everybody.

14
00:00:34,299 --> 00:00:36,564
Now that I'm no longer
with Amy,

15
00:00:36,566 --> 00:00:39,497
I have an extra ticket to the
annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet

16
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:42,163
at the aquarium cafeteria.
Who wants it?

17
00:00:44,731 --> 00:00:46,697
Well, you realize
you won't be going alone...

18
00:00:46,699 --> 00:00:48,363
I'll be there the whole time.

19
00:00:49,598 --> 00:00:52,163
Providing
fish and pilgrim facts.

20
00:00:53,598 --> 00:00:56,163
Can you people hear me?

21
00:00:56,165 --> 00:00:57,930
Well, we're having
everyone over.

22
00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,697
Yeah, Leonard and I
are gonna be cooking

23
00:00:59,699 --> 00:01:02,097
all day.
Otherwise we'd love to.

24
00:01:02,099 --> 00:01:03,263
But we can't.

25
00:01:03,265 --> 00:01:05,196
Yeah, poor us.
Mm-hmm.

26
00:01:07,664 --> 00:01:09,230
And Raj and I
are volunteering

27
00:01:09,232 --> 00:01:11,563
at the soup kitchen,
feeding food to the homeless.

28
00:01:11,565 --> 00:01:13,730
Well, Howard,
what about you?

29
00:01:13,732 --> 00:01:14,964
Oh...

30
00:01:14,966 --> 00:01:17,863
I can't. I'm going
to the soup kitchen, too.

31
00:01:17,865 --> 00:01:21,596
You said that sounded like
the worst thing ever.

32
00:01:23,098 --> 00:01:25,097
If you can't support me
when I'm lying,

33
00:01:25,099 --> 00:01:27,897
why are we married?

34
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:56,740
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

35
00:01:59,175 --> 00:02:01,606
Hi, Sheldon. What's?
Well, I'm calling

36
00:02:01,608 --> 00:02:03,806
because Thanksgiving
is coming up,

37
00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:07,373
and I wanted to offer you
the aquarium tickets.

38
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:08,806
No one can go with you?

39
00:02:08,808 --> 00:02:11,206
No. They'd rather spend
the holiday with each other

40
00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:14,840
than find out of this is the
year I finally touch a starfish.

41
00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:16,539
Anyway,
I wouldn't want

42
00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:20,506
the tickets to go to waste,
so take whomever you'd like.

43
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,072
Oh.

44
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,973
Okay. Thank you.
And feel free

45
00:02:24,975 --> 00:02:27,606
to tell your guest
that the Myanmar catfish

46
00:02:27,608 --> 00:02:29,973
is also known
as the pilgrim fish.

47
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:34,839
In case the turkey's dry
and you need something juicy.

48
00:02:34,841 --> 00:02:37,406
Sheldon...
I can tell you want to go,

49
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,906
so if you'd be comfortable
with it,

50
00:02:39,908 --> 00:02:42,372
maybe we could go as friends.

51
00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:44,639
You don't think
that will be awkward?

52
00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:47,472
Well... it is Thanksgiving
in an aquarium cafeteria,

53
00:02:47,474 --> 00:02:50,506
so I'm gonna go out
on a limb here and say yes.

54
00:02:51,974 --> 00:02:54,006
But if you mean between us...

55
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,906
I think it'll be fine.

56
00:02:56,958 --> 00:02:58,556
Very well, then.

57
00:02:58,624 --> 00:03:00,890
I'll see you
on Thanksgiving morning.

58
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:02,690
See you then.
Oh,

59
00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:05,156
and forget what I said
about the Myanmar catfish.

60
00:03:05,224 --> 00:03:08,556
My list of marine-themed
pilgrim facts is pretty short.

61
00:03:08,624 --> 00:03:10,757
Did you know they served
shellfish and eel

62
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,062
at the very first Thanksgiving?

63
00:03:12,090 --> 00:03:14,490
And there goes my list.

64
00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:19,156
So, how does this work?

65
00:03:19,224 --> 00:03:21,623
The soup kitchen manager
assigns the jobs,

66
00:03:21,691 --> 00:03:23,590
and the shifts
are six hours.

67
00:03:23,657 --> 00:03:24,723
Six hours?

68
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:28,223
Oh, God, I don't want to
complain for that long.

69
00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:31,590
Do you ever do anything
for anyone else?

70
00:03:31,657 --> 00:03:37,189
I happen to be
a giving and generous lover.

71
00:03:37,257 --> 00:03:40,423
Are you and I close enough
for me to say that's creepy?

72
00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:44,523
We are, and I believe the word
you're looking for is... yech!

73
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:47,156
Uh, can I help you?

74
00:03:47,224 --> 00:03:48,989
Hi. We'd like to volunteer.

75
00:03:49,057 --> 00:03:50,757
Oh, I appreciate
you guys coming down,

76
00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:52,156
but we already have
enough people.

77
00:03:52,224 --> 00:03:53,923
Any other day,
please, come back.

78
00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:55,923
Oh. Okay.

79
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,156
Wipe that smug smile
off your face.

80
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:06,089
Maybe I'm happy
that so many people turned up

81
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:08,356
to help the less fortunate.

82
00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,690
Are you and I close
enough for me to say...

83
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:13,623
That he's an ass?
He beat you to it.

84
00:04:14,924 --> 00:04:16,923
I was wrong.
A large group had to cancel.

85
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,156
Oh, great.
We'd love to help.

86
00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:23,189
Wipe that smug smile
off your face.

87
00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:27,556
I can't!

88
00:04:28,858 --> 00:04:29,890
Look at us!

89
00:04:29,957 --> 00:04:31,989
Our first Thanksgiving
as husband and wife.

90
00:04:32,057 --> 00:04:33,156
I know.

91
00:04:33,224 --> 00:04:34,323
I feel so grown up.

92
00:04:34,391 --> 00:04:36,656
Sweetie, you are grown up.
Really?

93
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:40,723
How many grown-ups do you know
who have Mr. Spock oven mitts?

94
00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:42,956
Hey, the recipes
are on my iPad.

95
00:04:43,024 --> 00:04:44,723
Will you pull 'em up?
Yep.

96
00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:47,723
What's the code?
My birthday.

97
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,423
It's not working.

98
00:04:49,491 --> 00:04:51,989
It's just the four digits...
month and day.

99
00:04:53,691 --> 00:04:54,890
Nope.

100
00:04:54,957 --> 00:04:57,156
Let me see.

101
00:04:59,524 --> 00:05:01,156
Yeah, there.

102
00:05:05,858 --> 00:05:08,423
What number were
you putting in?

103
00:05:09,824 --> 00:05:11,556
Uh...

104
00:05:12,824 --> 00:05:14,857
You don't know my
birthday, do you?

105
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,623
Yes, I do.
Well, what is it?

106
00:05:17,691 --> 00:05:19,757
May.

107
00:05:19,824 --> 00:05:22,189
May what?

108
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,790
I'm not gonna say
your password out loud.

109
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,156
That is not secure.

110
00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,924
You don't know your own
husband's birthday.

111
00:05:28,948 --> 00:05:30,490
Well...

112
00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,989
you don't know everything
about me.

113
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:33,123
Your birthday is December 2,

114
00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,723
you grew up on
Perkins Street,

115
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:36,690
the last four digits
of your social are

116
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,023
7-6-2-1,

117
00:05:38,090 --> 00:05:41,889
and the odds of me letting
you forget this are zero.

118
00:05:41,957 --> 00:05:44,223
Oh, look at us.

119
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:47,256
Our last Thanksgiving
as husband and wife.

120
00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:51,523
Hello.

121
00:05:51,591 --> 00:05:52,889
Hi.

122
00:05:52,957 --> 00:05:54,656
Ready for the
aquarium?

123
00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:58,156
I am. You know, and in an effort
to reduce awkwardness

124
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,823
as we learn how to function as friends,
I printed out a list

125
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:05,423
of safe topics
for polite conversation.

126
00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:08,289
If that makes you
more comfortable.

127
00:06:08,357 --> 00:06:11,423
If there were a list of things
that make me more comfortable,

128
00:06:11,491 --> 00:06:13,889
lists would be
on the top of that list.

129
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,690
Okay, now... Oh.

130
00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:20,223
"Since last we spoke,
have you acquired any pets?"

131
00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:21,757
No. You?

132
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:23,856
No.

133
00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:28,023
Um, "Since last we spoke,
have you planned

134
00:06:28,090 --> 00:06:30,089
or gone on any vacations?"

135
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,490
I might go visit my aunt
next week.

136
00:06:32,557 --> 00:06:34,089
Mm. Your aunt
in Modesto?

137
00:06:34,157 --> 00:06:35,856
No, the one in
Bakersfield.

138
00:06:35,923 --> 00:06:38,056
Bakersfield. I see.

139
00:06:38,124 --> 00:06:40,922
Where has this list been
all my life?

140
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:45,123
We're gonna have you
washing dishes.

141
00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:48,356
Uh, aprons and rubber gloves
are here... just...

142
00:06:48,424 --> 00:06:49,456
scrape, wash and stack.

143
00:06:49,524 --> 00:06:51,023
If you need me, I'll be around.

144
00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:54,889
So we don't even get to be up front
where the action is?

145
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,356
What difference
does it make?

146
00:06:56,424 --> 00:06:58,623
I don't know.
I was hoping some poor kid

147
00:06:58,691 --> 00:07:00,089
would come up to me and say,

148
00:07:00,157 --> 00:07:03,223
Please, sir, I want some more.

149
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,456
You're in a soup kitchen,

150
00:07:07,524 --> 00:07:10,156
not a production
of Oliver!

151
00:07:10,224 --> 00:07:13,723
It's not like
I'm expecting them to sing.

152
00:07:16,657 --> 00:07:18,757
and then the next day
was 73 degrees,

153
00:07:18,823 --> 00:07:20,756
and the day after that
was 72,

154
00:07:20,823 --> 00:07:22,556
and then it was
72 again...

155
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:24,156
uh, then it was 74,

156
00:07:24,224 --> 00:07:26,256
and that brings us
to today, at...

157
00:07:26,324 --> 00:07:29,989
I'd wear shorts
if I had a pair... 78.

158
00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:32,723
Are we done discussing
the weather?

159
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:34,723
I don't know if
I'd call it "discussing."

160
00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:37,590
You kind of sat back
and let me do all the work.

161
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,490
Let's see

162
00:07:39,557 --> 00:07:40,756
what's next on the list.

163
00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:42,556
Oh, here.
Uh, "Do you whittle,

164
00:07:42,624 --> 00:07:44,490
"and if so, what kind of knife

165
00:07:44,557 --> 00:07:46,056
do you..."
Sheldon.

166
00:07:46,124 --> 00:07:48,756
We've known each other
a long time.

167
00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:51,423
We are perfectly capable
of having a conversation

168
00:07:51,491 --> 00:07:54,623
without relying on a list
off the Internet.

169
00:07:55,424 --> 00:07:56,590
All right.

170
00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:58,289
Well, what should
we talk about?

171
00:07:58,357 --> 00:08:01,590
I don't know. Just ask me
whatever comes to mind.

172
00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:04,156
Very well.

173
00:08:04,224 --> 00:08:07,156
I know you've been
seeing other men.

174
00:08:07,224 --> 00:08:11,289
Have you had coitus
with any of them?

175
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,223
Man, I walked
right into that one.

176
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:20,656
Next we need a
teaspoon of pepper,

177
00:08:20,723 --> 00:08:25,390
which, I believe, was also
the name of your childhood dog.

178
00:08:26,557 --> 00:08:29,590
Fine. You think
you know so much.

179
00:08:29,657 --> 00:08:31,722
Who's my favorite
Spice Girl?

180
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,289
Baby.
Who's my favorite member of NSYNC?

181
00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:34,889
Justin.
Who's my favorite Backstreet Boy?

182
00:08:34,957 --> 00:08:37,490
Nice try. NSYNC forever.
Damn it!

183
00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:39,390
Face it,

184
00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:41,756
you can't stump me...
I am the king of husbands.

185
00:08:41,823 --> 00:08:43,523
I know that you
don't like the lingerie

186
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:44,956
that I got you
on Valentine's Day.

187
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,989
I know you hate the word "moist." I know...
Hang on.

188
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:50,490
Wait, wait. Why don't I like
the lingerie you got me?

189
00:08:50,557 --> 00:08:51,551
Because it's orange

190
00:08:51,575 --> 00:08:53,851
and you think it makes you
look like a slutty carrot.

191
00:08:56,957 --> 00:08:58,289
Interesting.

192
00:08:58,357 --> 00:08:59,556
I never told you that.

193
00:08:59,624 --> 00:09:00,623
Sure you did.
No.

194
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,756
I never told anyone that.

195
00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:05,756
But I did write it
in my journal.

196
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,089
What?

197
00:09:11,157 --> 00:09:14,089
I didn't know you had a journal.

198
00:09:14,157 --> 00:09:18,623
I also know your voice
gets higher when you're lying.

199
00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:21,256
No, it doesn't.

200
00:09:30,316 --> 00:09:32,786
You know, this reminds me
of high school.

201
00:09:32,787 --> 00:09:34,353
You worked in
a restaurant?

202
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:38,886
No, I was in India...
it was humid and smelled funny.

203
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:41,587
All right, I think
I'm getting into a groove here.

204
00:09:41,653 --> 00:09:43,019
This isn't so bad.

205
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:45,253
Only five hours
and 40 minutes to go.

206
00:09:45,321 --> 00:09:47,886
We've only been
doing this 20 minutes?

207
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,420
You know, I read that

208
00:09:50,487 --> 00:09:53,119
washing dishes can be an
excellent form of meditation.

209
00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:55,286
The key is that while
washing the dishes

210
00:09:55,354 --> 00:09:59,719
one should only be...
washing the dishes.

211
00:10:00,753 --> 00:10:02,320
Just because you
have that accent

212
00:10:02,387 --> 00:10:05,286
doesn't mean what
you say isn't stupid.

213
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,086
No, seriously.

214
00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:09,286
It's about being present
in the moment,

215
00:10:09,354 --> 00:10:12,420
focusing on the feeling
of the warm water,

216
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,286
the smell of
the detergent,

217
00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:18,019
the sound of the dishes squeaking,
and following your own breath.

218
00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:21,486
It's about... it's
about simply being.

219
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,386
Ah.

220
00:10:23,454 --> 00:10:25,752
Okay..I'll try t.

221
00:10:31,354 --> 00:10:32,686
I need three people
out front.

222
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:35,353
I'll do it!
Me! Right here!

223
00:10:35,421 --> 00:10:38,886
No fair! I was meditating!

224
00:10:40,954 --> 00:10:42,153
Come on,
don't be mad.

225
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,058
It was a long time ago,
and it was an accident.

226
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,719
How can reading my journal
be an accident?

227
00:10:46,787 --> 00:10:47,852
I didn't even
know what it was.

228
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,053
I saw it on your nightstand.
I picked it up.

229
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,986
Well, when you realized what
it was, why didn't you stop?

230
00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:54,386
You know me, I'm a
big ol' bookworm.

231
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,759
All right.
Let's just finish cooking.

232
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,719
Well... Hey. O-Okay.
Let me make this up to you.

233
00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:02,420
Sometimes I keep
an online journal.

234
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,153
I want you to read
something that I write.

235
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:06,053
Okay, really, I'm fine.
Okay.

236
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,686
Well, then I'll read it to you.

237
00:11:07,753 --> 00:11:10,186
It's from the day we first met.

238
00:11:12,054 --> 00:11:15,320
"Beauty, thy name is Penny."
Oh, God.

239
00:11:15,387 --> 00:11:17,086
Stop.

240
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,320
I don't want you

241
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:19,786
to read something
you think'll just butter me up.

242
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,119
I want to hear
the most recent thing you wrote.

243
00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:23,953
Fine.

244
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,286
Mmm...

245
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,019
"Penny's beauty,
like our love,

246
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:34,353
grows more with
each passing day."

247
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:35,486
Does it really say that?

248
00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:39,619
Why would I lie?

249
00:11:39,687 --> 00:11:42,852
"OMG. OMG.

250
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,786
"We're so close
to the new Star Wars.

251
00:11:44,853 --> 00:11:46,953
"I can't take it.

252
00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:48,986
Gah."

253
00:11:49,054 --> 00:11:50,053
"Gah"?

254
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,752
Well, you didn't
read it right.

255
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:56,286
The new Star Wars
is coming. Gah!

256
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:04,485
I'm sensing things
have gotten awkward.

257
00:12:04,553 --> 00:12:06,886
No. It's okay.

258
00:12:06,954 --> 00:12:10,219
If we're friends, we should be
able to talk about anything.

259
00:12:10,287 --> 00:12:12,119
All right.

260
00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:16,219
So, you had some questions
about me seeing other people.

261
00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:18,086
Just a few.

262
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,886
Go ahead.

263
00:12:19,954 --> 00:12:21,886
How many dates have you been on?

264
00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:23,886
Who were they with?
Where'd you go?

265
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:26,353
Where did you meet them?
Did you sleep with them?

266
00:12:26,421 --> 00:12:28,219
And how much longer
to the aquarium?

267
00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:30,619
I'm getting kind of hungry.

268
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:33,019
Let's see.

269
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:36,886
I have been on six dates
with three different people.

270
00:12:36,954 --> 00:12:39,719
It was either for
coffee or dinner.

271
00:12:39,787 --> 00:12:43,219
One I met at a bookstore
and two I met online.

272
00:12:43,287 --> 00:12:45,019
I haven't slept with anyone.

273
00:12:45,087 --> 00:12:46,752
The aquarium is
40 minutes away.

274
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:48,586
And there's a baggie of Cheerios
for you

275
00:12:48,653 --> 00:12:49,919
in the glove compartment.

276
00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:53,253
Uh, regular or honey nut?

277
00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:55,586
I mixed them.

278
00:12:55,653 --> 00:12:57,852
You mixed them.
No wonder gentleman callers

279
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,019
are pounding down your door.

280
00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,686
Do you have any questions
for me?

281
00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:08,186
Just one.

282
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:11,153
Are you doing okay?

283
00:13:12,187 --> 00:13:15,119
I am.

284
00:13:15,187 --> 00:13:16,752
Good.

285
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,986
I-I want you to be happy.

286
00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:22,153
I believe you.

287
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:29,019
I'd believe you more if you
threw a few Apple Jacks in here.

288
00:13:32,587 --> 00:13:35,619
Here you go.
Thanks.

289
00:13:35,687 --> 00:13:37,452
You got to be kidding me.

290
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,086
Sorry?

291
00:13:39,154 --> 00:13:41,953
Y-You're Elon Musk.

292
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:43,019
I am.

293
00:13:47,687 --> 00:13:50,619
Wh-What are you doing here?

294
00:13:50,687 --> 00:13:52,852
I'm washing dishes.

295
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,053
Well,

296
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,752
I was on the turkey line,
but I got demoted

297
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:58,186
for being too generous
with the gravy.

298
00:14:00,453 --> 00:14:02,385
Oh, man. I...

299
00:14:02,453 --> 00:14:03,919
What an honor to meet you.

300
00:14:03,987 --> 00:14:08,652
I'm-I'm such a fan
of Tesla and SpaceX.

301
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,352
All your companies.

302
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,286
Howard Wolowitz, Caltech.

303
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:14,752
Nice to meet you, Howard.
Feels great to come down here

304
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,452
and help the less fortunate,
huh?

305
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,419
Oh, yeah.

306
00:14:19,453 --> 00:14:23,619
Nothing better
than helping people.

307
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,953
Which is something I realized

308
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,786
when I was viewing Earth

309
00:14:29,853 --> 00:14:33,019
from the deck of
the International Space Station,

310
00:14:33,087 --> 00:14:36,752
where I spent two months as
a payload specialist, a job

311
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:42,452
I was qualified for because
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.

312
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,485
And I thought
I ladled the gravy on thick.

313
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:47,719
Sorry. It's just...

314
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,086
you're you, you know?

315
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:53,253
And I really want you
to adopt me.

316
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,686
Well, you're here
on Thanksgiving,

317
00:14:54,753 --> 00:14:55,786
so you're probably
a good person.

318
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:59,485
Oh. I made my wife come down,
too.

319
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:02,719
You think you might
ever get back out to space?

320
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:06,619
Is that a job offer? 'Cause
I really want to go to Mars.

321
00:15:06,687 --> 00:15:07,652
Assuming I can
bring my wife.

322
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,219
She hardly takes up any room.

323
00:15:09,286 --> 00:15:12,119
She's basically a carry-on.

324
00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:13,752
Well, we're not quite there yet,

325
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,519
but we're always looking
for engineers.

326
00:15:15,587 --> 00:15:17,352
So let me give you my e-mail.
We can stay in touch.

327
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:18,953
Thank you.

328
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,485
Oh, look.

329
00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:24,086
Someone hardly touched
their pumpkin pie.

330
00:15:24,154 --> 00:15:27,485
Want to share it with me?

331
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:31,485
A-a partially eaten piece
of pumpkin pie

332
00:15:31,553 --> 00:15:33,219
from a homeless shelter?

333
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:35,352
With Elon Musk, you bet I do!

334
00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:42,986
You know, for a
Thanksgiving buffet

335
00:15:43,054 --> 00:15:46,986
in an aquarium cafeteria,
that was really bad.

336
00:15:47,054 --> 00:15:49,719
You're just upset 'cause
they ran out of Pilgrim hats.

337
00:15:49,787 --> 00:15:53,119
They gave one to that baby.
He wasn't even awake.

338
00:15:53,187 --> 00:15:57,953
Well, it wouldn't be a holiday
without you being mad at a baby.

339
00:15:58,020 --> 00:15:59,485
Oh.

340
00:15:59,553 --> 00:16:03,186
Would you care to play
an ocean-themed game I invented?

341
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,319
Sure. What is it?

342
00:16:04,386 --> 00:16:06,586
It's called Food, Friend, Fight.

343
00:16:06,653 --> 00:16:08,953
One of us chooses
three aquatic creatures,

344
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:11,485
and the other one must decide
which he would eat,

345
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,219
befriend, or battle.

346
00:16:14,286 --> 00:16:16,852
So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill.

347
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,986
What is that?

348
00:16:18,054 --> 00:16:19,886
It's a game
where you're given three people

349
00:16:19,954 --> 00:16:22,652
and you choose which one
you'd kiss, marry, or kill.

350
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,352
Well, my game is better, 'cause
instead of marrying someone,

351
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:28,086
you get to eat them.

352
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,352
Let's just play.

353
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,953
I'll start
you off easy.

354
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:35,686
Electric eel,
pufferfish, shrimp.

355
00:16:35,753 --> 00:16:38,352
Hmm. Well,

356
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:39,886
I wouldn't fight the eel,
because I know

357
00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:42,385
it can generate enough current
to kill a horse.

358
00:16:42,453 --> 00:16:44,019
So I'd eat
the eel,

359
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:47,218
fight the shrimp,
and befriend the pufferfish,

360
00:16:47,286 --> 00:16:48,619
because it would be nice
to have company

361
00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:50,752
on those days I feel bloated.

362
00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:53,252
Very well done.

363
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,252
Thank you.

364
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,953
Okay, your turn.

365
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,218
Hmm. Seal,

366
00:16:58,286 --> 00:17:00,352
hagfish...

367
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,519
SpongeBob SquarePants.

368
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,352
Well, I'd befriend SpongeBob
but he's not real,

369
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:07,752
so I can't do that, can I?

370
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,385
But you can pal around
with a hagfish?

371
00:17:10,453 --> 00:17:13,385
Hey, let's not pull
at that thread.

372
00:17:13,453 --> 00:17:15,285
Okay. I'll
fight SpongeBob,

373
00:17:15,353 --> 00:17:19,086
because he's so friendly we'll
just end up tickling each other.

374
00:17:19,154 --> 00:17:20,886
Um, I'll befriend the seal,

375
00:17:20,954 --> 00:17:22,686
because he's trainable,
which is the problem

376
00:17:22,753 --> 00:17:24,352
I'm having with my
current friends.

377
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,352
Which means I'll have
to eat the hagfish.

378
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:31,019
Isn't that gross?
I mean, a hagfish can produce

379
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:33,586
enough mucus to fill a bucket
in a minute.

380
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,285
I know. It makes its own gravy...
it'll slide right down.

381
00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:45,886
I miss this.

382
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:49,586
How can you miss a game you've
never played before, silly?

383
00:17:51,974 --> 00:17:53,852
I guess sometimes I'm silly.

384
00:17:57,086 --> 00:18:00,351
Hey. Where'd you go? I can't
tell if the turkey's done!

385
00:18:00,418 --> 00:18:02,417
Be right there!

386
00:18:08,685 --> 00:18:10,417
Hi, lover.

387
00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:16,651
What are you doing?

388
00:18:16,719 --> 00:18:18,651
I'm sorry about the journal.
I want to make it up to you.

389
00:18:18,719 --> 00:18:24,117
So I'm gonna let you post
a shame photo of me on Facebook.

390
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:28,117
I am not putting
that on the Internet!

391
00:18:28,185 --> 00:18:29,618
I don't want
people to see this.

392
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:32,317
I don't want to see it!

393
00:18:32,385 --> 00:18:34,784
Don't want people
to see what, huh?

394
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:38,051
A little bit of this?
Oh...

395
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,351
Huh?

396
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:44,018
Some of this?

397
00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:47,651
And, since it's Thanksgiving,

398
00:18:47,719 --> 00:18:51,451
an extra helping of this?

399
00:18:51,518 --> 00:18:53,417
Happy Thanks... Yikes.

400
00:19:04,748 --> 00:19:06,580
I'm glad you had a
nice time with Amy.

401
00:19:06,648 --> 00:19:08,714
Me, too. It's comforting to know

402
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,313
that she and I are able
to function as friends.

403
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:13,647
Well, I've never been
friends with any of my exes.

404
00:19:13,715 --> 00:19:16,547
Oh, I'm sure you and Leonard
will be able to pull it off.

405
00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:22,680
Oh. It's my friend Amy.

406
00:19:22,748 --> 00:19:24,246
Hello.

407
00:19:24,314 --> 00:19:25,380
Hi, Sheldon.

408
00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,880
I'm just driving home
from my mother's.

409
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,814
Did you have a nice time?

410
00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:31,213
I did. Um...

411
00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:35,947
listen, I really enjoyed
spending this morning with you.

412
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:37,947
Well, I can't take
all the credit.

413
00:19:38,015 --> 00:19:39,947
It was pretty funny
when that one anchovy

414
00:19:40,015 --> 00:19:42,947
started going the wrong way.

415
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:45,413
It was.

416
00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:47,947
Uh, listen,

417
00:19:48,014 --> 00:19:50,714
I-I was thinking that, um,

418
00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:55,180
maybe I'm ready
to be your girlfriend again.

419
00:19:55,247 --> 00:19:57,680
Oh.

420
00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,513
I thought we were just friends.

421
00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:01,647
We are.

422
00:20:01,715 --> 00:20:04,313
But I was hoping,

423
00:20:04,381 --> 00:20:06,280
maybe...
Amy,

424
00:20:06,348 --> 00:20:08,080
I excel at many things,

425
00:20:08,147 --> 00:20:11,013
but getting over you
wasn't one of them.

426
00:20:12,281 --> 00:20:15,914
I think I need
to just be your friend.

427
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:19,246
Okay.

428
00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,246
I understand.

429
00:20:23,314 --> 00:20:24,780
Good.

430
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,080
Oh, I watched a video

431
00:20:26,147 --> 00:20:28,080
of the hagfish producing mucus,

432
00:20:28,147 --> 00:20:31,714
so I'm gonna change my answer
and eat SpongeBob.

433
00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,980
Okay. Sure.

434
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:42,994
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man