1
00:00:00,348 --> 00:00:01,380
And overbite.

2
00:00:01,382 --> 00:00:03,215
Of course you're a Wolowitz.

3
00:00:05,019 --> 00:00:07,553
Son of a bitch, he bit me.

4
00:00:07,555 --> 00:00:10,990
Okay, I guess I'll just go to
the emergency room to be safe.

5
00:00:10,992 --> 00:00:13,759
Howie, this is just
your hypochondria.

6
00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:16,095
When I sat on the mute button
and thought I'd gone deaf,

7
00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:17,930
that was my hypochondria.

8
00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:30,209
We'll find another time
to tell him I'm pregnant.

9
00:00:34,148 --> 00:00:35,481
Morning.

10
00:00:35,483 --> 00:00:36,782
Morning.

11
00:00:36,784 --> 00:00:38,451
"We"?

12
00:00:38,453 --> 00:00:39,852
What is this?

13
00:00:39,854 --> 00:00:41,053
I don't know.

14
00:00:41,055 --> 00:00:42,655
Maybe it says
something on the back.

15
00:00:44,225 --> 00:00:47,193
"Continued on milk."

16
00:00:47,195 --> 00:00:49,261
If you're tricking me
into making my own breakfast,

17
00:00:49,263 --> 00:00:51,430
it didn't work for my mom,
and it won't work for you.

18
00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:54,233
"Are."

19
00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:56,902
"We are..."

20
00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:58,571
"See spoons for more."

21
00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,307
What could it be?

22
00:01:01,309 --> 00:01:02,641
"We are Groot"?

23
00:01:02,643 --> 00:01:04,310
"We are the champions"?

24
00:01:04,312 --> 00:01:05,978
"We are family"?

25
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,813
"I got all my sisters with me."

26
00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:13,452
Are you serious?

27
00:01:13,454 --> 00:01:15,621
Yeah.

28
00:01:15,623 --> 00:01:18,924
Are you sure?

29
00:01:20,395 --> 00:01:22,695
Pretty positive.

30
00:01:22,697 --> 00:01:24,497
That's a joke, because
the pregnancy test says...

31
00:01:24,499 --> 00:01:26,031
Oh, my God.

32
00:01:28,836 --> 00:01:30,369
This is incredible.

33
00:01:30,371 --> 00:01:32,972
We're gonna be parents?

34
00:01:32,974 --> 00:01:36,442
We're gonna get
to board planes first.

35
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:39,211
Finally gonna get to see

36
00:01:39,213 --> 00:01:42,715
what's in that family bathroom
at the mall.

37
00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:44,850
I know, it's crazy.

38
00:01:44,852 --> 00:01:46,952
It is crazy.

39
00:01:46,954 --> 00:01:48,254
Oh.

40
00:01:48,256 --> 00:01:51,991
I mean, how do you... prepare
for something like this?

41
00:01:51,993 --> 00:01:55,194
I'm not even sure
I've held a baby before.

42
00:01:55,196 --> 00:01:56,896
Oh, it's okay,
you'll figure it out.

43
00:01:56,898 --> 00:01:58,831
But how's this all gonna work?

44
00:01:58,833 --> 00:01:59,965
Do we get a nanny?

45
00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:01,200
I mean, can we
afford a nanny?

46
00:02:01,202 --> 00:02:03,002
And if we can,
we can't get a pretty one,

47
00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,970
'cause it'll wreck our marriage.

48
00:02:06,374 --> 00:02:09,475
We can't get an ugly one,
'cause it'll scare the kid.

49
00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,145
I-I don't know, Howie.

50
00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,613
Are we in a good
school district?

51
00:02:14,615 --> 00:02:15,848
You're Catholic, I'm Jewish.

52
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:17,883
What religion do
we raise it?

53
00:02:17,885 --> 00:02:19,385
And if it's a boy,
do we get him circumcised?

54
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:20,586
People say it's barbaric,

55
00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:23,489
but if we don't, it looks like
a pig in a blanket.

56
00:02:26,627 --> 00:02:29,061
Calm down, it's
gonna be okay.

57
00:02:29,063 --> 00:02:30,629
How's it gonna be okay?

58
00:02:30,631 --> 00:02:34,066
Look at me, I'm a mess.

59
00:02:34,068 --> 00:02:35,734
And that means this baby's
gonna half a mess.

60
00:02:35,736 --> 00:02:37,002
And that's even
before we screw it up

61
00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:39,805
with our cut-rate
moderately attractive nanny.

62
00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:10,192
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

63
00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:13,242
Hey, Raj, I read a couple
guys in your department

64
00:03:13,244 --> 00:03:15,344
may have discovered a new
planet in our solar system?

65
00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:17,079
Oh, I heard about that.

66
00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:18,614
Why didn't you
discover it?

67
00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:21,250
Because instead of being
in the telescope room,

68
00:03:21,252 --> 00:03:25,855
I was busy making you guys
homemade jam for the holidays.

69
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,189
Well, you be sure
to let us know

70
00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:30,726
when you win the Nobel
Prize for boysenberry.

71
00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:35,197
Hey.

72
00:03:35,199 --> 00:03:36,265
Hello.
Hey, bud.

73
00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:37,767
Ready to play when you are.

74
00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:38,901
Yeah, um, in a minute.

75
00:03:38,903 --> 00:03:41,137
I actually need
to tell you guys something.

76
00:03:41,139 --> 00:03:42,638
If it's "thank you"
for the homemade jam

77
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,473
you got in December,
congratulations,

78
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,842
you're the
first one.

79
00:03:46,844 --> 00:03:49,178
What's going on?

80
00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:53,149
I'm, uh...

81
00:03:53,151 --> 00:03:55,117
uh, gonna be a father.

82
00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:57,153
That's so amazing.
What? Congratulations.

83
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,488
Oh, no.

84
00:04:00,425 --> 00:04:02,124
Why "oh, no"?

85
00:04:02,126 --> 00:04:04,093
Because this changes everything.

86
00:04:04,095 --> 00:04:05,461
What about comic book night?

87
00:04:05,463 --> 00:04:07,463
Uh, what about playing
games together?

88
00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:09,131
What about our trips
to Disneyland?

89
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:12,268
How can we do those things
with a child around?

90
00:04:13,438 --> 00:04:16,272
Relax, there's room
for two babies in this group.

91
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:17,640
Oh, dear L...

92
00:04:17,642 --> 00:04:19,542
Penny's pregnant, too?

93
00:04:19,544 --> 00:04:21,711
You're the other baby.

94
00:04:21,713 --> 00:04:23,145
Oh, really?

95
00:04:23,147 --> 00:04:26,415
Okay, well, would a baby have
to shave once every 11 days?

96
00:04:28,453 --> 00:04:31,020
Would an adult refuse
to eat his graham crackers

97
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,122
because one of them was broken?

98
00:04:33,124 --> 00:04:34,990
I guess we'll call this a draw.

99
00:04:37,762 --> 00:04:39,528
So, I'm glad
you guys are here.

100
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,130
There's something I want
to share with you.

101
00:04:41,132 --> 00:04:43,566
Howie and I are going to...

102
00:04:43,568 --> 00:04:45,201
Leonard says you're pregnant.

103
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:46,469
What?

104
00:04:46,471 --> 00:04:47,370
"Don't say anything.

105
00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:49,271
Act surprised
when she tells you."

106
00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:51,173
All right,
how you want to do this?

107
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,176
I'm pregnant.

108
00:04:54,178 --> 00:04:55,578
Oh, my God, I
can't believe it!

109
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,846
This is so exciting!

110
00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:59,515
Yeah, it's all real exciting.

111
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:02,585
Are-are you not
happy about this?

112
00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:05,821
I am. Of-of course I am. I'm...

113
00:05:05,823 --> 00:05:07,356
I'm sure it's just the hormones.

114
00:05:08,593 --> 00:05:10,493
But it's weird... Howie's the one
who's been talking about

115
00:05:10,495 --> 00:05:11,927
having kids for years, and I was

116
00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:14,363
all excited to tell him because
I thought he'd be thrilled,

117
00:05:14,365 --> 00:05:16,132
but then he started to flip out

118
00:05:16,134 --> 00:05:18,000
and now this
feels like a bad idea

119
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:21,003
and I'm gonna get fat.

120
00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,738
No, no, come on. Come on,
you're not gonna get fat.

121
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,407
You're gonna be beautiful
and glowing

122
00:05:24,409 --> 00:05:26,809
and-and have the cutest
little baby bump ever.

123
00:05:26,811 --> 00:05:29,078
Easy for you to say,
skinny bitch.

124
00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:32,882
Sorry, hormones.

125
00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:34,950
Oh, that's all right.
All I heard was "skinny."

126
00:05:35,853 --> 00:05:38,254
I wouldn't make too much
out of Howard

127
00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:39,985
not reacting the way
you expected him to.

128
00:05:40,009 --> 00:05:41,024
Yeah, I'm sure

129
00:05:41,025 --> 00:05:42,625
it was just
the initial shock of it all.

130
00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:44,794
You're probably right.

131
00:05:44,796 --> 00:05:47,463
After we talked about it,
he started to calm down.

132
00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,198
I shouldn't be raising a kid.

133
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,400
I don't even
eat my own vegetables.

134
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,837
Buddy, I-I think
you might be overreacting.

135
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:56,739
And then there's
this nose.

136
00:05:56,741 --> 00:05:59,809
I mean, what if he
looks like me?

137
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:02,278
Or worse...

138
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,780
what if she looks like me?

139
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,282
Not to mention

140
00:06:06,284 --> 00:06:08,284
the impact on our social circle.

141
00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:09,552
Everything's going to change.

142
00:06:09,554 --> 00:06:11,387
Howard won't be able
to come over as much.

143
00:06:11,389 --> 00:06:13,589
Well, he could bring the baby here.
Oh, but then we'd have to

144
00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:16,358
baby-proof the apartment.
You know, my sister

145
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,327
has one of those toilet locks
in her bathroom.

146
00:06:18,329 --> 00:06:21,197
I have two doctorates,
I still had to go in the sink.

147
00:06:23,134 --> 00:06:25,100
Oh, my God,
and do you have any idea

148
00:06:25,102 --> 00:06:28,237
how expensive having a kid is?

149
00:06:28,239 --> 00:06:30,673
I read that in Los Angeles,
raising a child through college

150
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:32,641
can cost over a million dollars.

151
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,710
A million dollars?

152
00:06:34,712 --> 00:06:38,414
God, it's like my nuts
just kicked me in the nuts.

153
00:06:39,684 --> 00:06:40,850
That's it... I got to start

154
00:06:40,852 --> 00:06:42,952
earning more money right now.

155
00:06:42,954 --> 00:06:44,620
I know...
you could ask Bernadette

156
00:06:44,622 --> 00:06:47,022
for a raise in your allowance.

157
00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:48,791
This isn't a joke.

158
00:06:48,793 --> 00:06:50,626
I wasn't joking.

159
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:53,929
It'll be fine.

160
00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:55,397
People have kids every day.

161
00:06:55,399 --> 00:06:56,765
You'll figure this out.
Yeah, come on,

162
00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,801
this is great news
and you know it.

163
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,703
Oh... You're right, it is,

164
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:04,340
I'm just...
a little overwhelmed right now.

165
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,609
Hey, you know what we should do?

166
00:07:06,611 --> 00:07:09,478
All get vasectomies so this
doesn't happen to us?

167
00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:14,350
Go out and celebrate.

168
00:07:15,286 --> 00:07:17,453
But not your worst idea.

169
00:07:19,624 --> 00:07:22,758
Hey, let's go do something
to get your mind off this.

170
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,027
Yeah, yeah, we should go out.
Where?

171
00:07:25,029 --> 00:07:26,328
Uh, I don't know, a bar?

172
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:27,863
Can't drink.

173
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,566
We can, but all right.

174
00:07:30,568 --> 00:07:32,902
Are you hungry? How about
that sushi place you love?

175
00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:35,905
Doctor said I can't have sushi.

176
00:07:35,907 --> 00:07:37,406
Okay, look, we don't
have to go anywhere.

177
00:07:37,408 --> 00:07:40,009
We can just, you know, stay here
and hang out in the hot tub.

178
00:07:40,011 --> 00:07:42,344
Doctor said I can't
go in the hot tub.

179
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:45,648
Maybe you should
get a new doctor.

180
00:07:47,685 --> 00:07:51,253
What, he said
you can't laugh either?

181
00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:55,724
I'd like to propose a toast
to our friend, Howard...

182
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:58,594
his, um, his big heart,
his beautiful soul...

183
00:07:58,596 --> 00:07:59,762
And his tight little pants

184
00:07:59,764 --> 00:08:02,064
that somehow
did not make him sterile.

185
00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:04,300
Cheers.

186
00:08:06,237 --> 00:08:08,103
Well, look at this.

187
00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:09,972
I bet whoever invented
tiny umbrellas

188
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:11,807
doesn't have to worry
about money.

189
00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:14,209
He can have
all the kids he wants.

190
00:08:14,211 --> 00:08:17,546
And can keep a small portion
of their heads dry.

191
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:22,251
If I'm gonna have any chance
of raising this kid,

192
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:25,421
I need to come up with
a big idea to make some money.

193
00:08:25,423 --> 00:08:27,256
There's no reason you can't.
That's easy for you to say.

194
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:28,891
You and Sheldon
already came up with

195
00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:30,559
your superfluid helium model.

196
00:08:30,561 --> 00:08:31,961
That's just research.
We're never gonna

197
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:33,462
make any money from it.

198
00:08:33,464 --> 00:08:35,164
Forget helium.
The real superfluid

199
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,933
is the fruit punch in this mug.

200
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,336
Reminds me of my daddy's secret

201
00:08:40,338 --> 00:08:42,571
"Don't Tell Mama" juice.

202
00:08:44,642 --> 00:08:46,875
Uh, these are strong,
you should slow down.

203
00:08:46,877 --> 00:08:49,311
Oh. I'll just take one last sip.

204
00:08:55,422 --> 00:08:56,422
Ah.

205
00:09:06,728 --> 00:09:09,729
Okay, how about this
for an invention...

206
00:09:09,731 --> 00:09:12,999
slightly... bigger
cocktail umbrellas.

207
00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:15,868
How is that a new invention?

208
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:18,271
I don't know, all Apple does
is change the size of things

209
00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:20,473
and we keep buying them.

210
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:24,277
It's true. I like my giant iPad
and my little iPad

211
00:09:24,279 --> 00:09:27,747
almost as much
as my regular-sized iPad.

212
00:09:27,749 --> 00:09:29,982
This place is terrific.

213
00:09:29,984 --> 00:09:32,585
Why-why have
we never been here before?

214
00:09:32,587 --> 00:09:36,923
The same reason we don't do
a lot of fun stuff... you.

215
00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:39,025
That's some smart talk
from a guy

216
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:41,494
who can't even keep
his face in focus.

217
00:09:44,098 --> 00:09:46,332
Where's the bathroom?

218
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:47,500
Uh, it's in the corner.

219
00:09:47,502 --> 00:09:49,702
Excuse me.

220
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,940
Hey, how you doin'?

221
00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:57,877
I hope the bathroom
is clearly marked.

222
00:09:57,879 --> 00:09:59,011
Doesn't matter.

223
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:01,314
He's headed
for the kitchen anyway.

224
00:10:02,216 --> 00:10:03,349
Maybe that's an idea...

225
00:10:03,351 --> 00:10:05,918
guidance systems
for drunk people.

226
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,220
They have that.
It's called Uber.

227
00:10:08,222 --> 00:10:09,589
Hey.

228
00:10:09,591 --> 00:10:11,324
In your supercooled
helium experiments,

229
00:10:11,326 --> 00:10:13,793
did you create
quantum vortices?

230
00:10:13,795 --> 00:10:14,794
Yeah. Why?

231
00:10:14,796 --> 00:10:16,095
Well, if you made
a guidance system,

232
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:18,531
couldn't you use those vortices
as a gyroscope?

233
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:21,000
Wow. I've never thought
about that.

234
00:10:21,002 --> 00:10:22,602
And since
it's in a quantum state,

235
00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,403
it would maintain
an infinite persistence.

236
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,039
Groundbreaking revelations,
tropical drinks.

237
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:31,077
Tell me this isn't like the best
episode of Sex and the City.

238
00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:35,848
You may have actually
just come up with something.

239
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:37,550
You think so?
I really do.

240
00:10:37,552 --> 00:10:40,553
You guys, the bathroom
here is amazing.

241
00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:43,189
There's people
cooking in it.

242
00:10:45,927 --> 00:10:47,426
Think about all the fun
things you get to do

243
00:10:47,428 --> 00:10:48,794
when you have a baby.
Yeah!

244
00:10:48,796 --> 00:10:52,031
Yeah, you get to buy toys
and little clothes.

245
00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:55,034
I kind of already do that
for Howie.

246
00:10:55,036 --> 00:10:56,936
And-and whenever you're hungry,

247
00:10:56,938 --> 00:11:01,040
you'll be in a minivan with
Cheerios all over the floor.

248
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:03,909
Oh, and I just found a
new travel cup for Sheldon.

249
00:11:03,911 --> 00:11:06,045
It only lets out
three at a time.

250
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:09,849
So, when did you guys
decide to get pregnant?

251
00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:12,618
Well, we didn't exactly decide.

252
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:13,886
We were talking about it,

253
00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:16,122
and then one night
we got a little reckless.

254
00:11:16,124 --> 00:11:18,124
Oh, tell us!
Yeah, tell us.

255
00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:19,358
No, I'm embarrassed.
Oh, come on,

256
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,127
we're all grown-ups.
We've all done it.

257
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:24,163
Me! Me-me, too!
I'm a grown-up and I've done it!

258
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,567
Fine.

259
00:11:28,569 --> 00:11:30,102
We were out one night,

260
00:11:30,104 --> 00:11:33,673
and things got
a little spontaneous.

261
00:11:33,675 --> 00:11:35,608
Oh, that sounds juicy.

262
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,543
Well, Sheldon was going on
and on about time zones

263
00:11:37,545 --> 00:11:40,399
and railroad schedules,
and I went out...

264
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,783
Wait, I remember that.
Hang on.

265
00:11:42,784 --> 00:11:46,419
You did it
at our place?

266
00:11:46,421 --> 00:11:49,622
Kind of on Sheldon's bed.

267
00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:52,224
What?
No!

268
00:11:53,061 --> 00:11:55,027
I was headed to the bathroom,

269
00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:57,363
and I passed Howie
on his way out.

270
00:11:57,365 --> 00:12:01,233
Usually he says,
"Do not go in there,"

271
00:12:01,235 --> 00:12:06,172
but this time he said,
"Hey, let's go in here."

272
00:12:06,174 --> 00:12:07,707
How could you do that?
I'm sorry,

273
00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:09,942
but you know what it's like
when you're with your man

274
00:12:09,944 --> 00:12:11,610
and one thing leads to another.

275
00:12:11,612 --> 00:12:14,180
I do know what that's like.
I really do.

276
00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:18,384
I'm not seeing anyone

277
00:12:18,386 --> 00:12:20,486
using liquid helium
vortices like this.

278
00:12:20,488 --> 00:12:22,354
I'm not finding
anything either.

279
00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:23,589
That's a good sign.

280
00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:25,524
Oh, wait, I found something.

281
00:12:25,526 --> 00:12:26,892
Damn. What is it?

282
00:12:26,894 --> 00:12:29,762
This video.
The baby panda sneezes,

283
00:12:29,764 --> 00:12:32,732
and the mama panda
gets so scared.

284
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,970
Can you focus
on what we're talking about?

285
00:12:37,972 --> 00:12:39,405
All right.

286
00:12:39,407 --> 00:12:41,941
Look, now,
this may be the rum talking,

287
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:44,877
but as long as the unpinning
rate of the vortices

288
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:47,346
is kept within 1.1 and 1.3,

289
00:12:47,348 --> 00:12:50,716
the Magnus force issue
should be negligible.

290
00:12:52,186 --> 00:12:55,955
Even drunk, he's still smarter
than all of us.

291
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:57,890
And stronger.

292
00:12:57,892 --> 00:13:01,360
Yeah. Who wants to see me
beat up the bartender?

293
00:13:02,196 --> 00:13:03,996
I'd enjoy that.

294
00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:06,465
Nah, she's a good kid.

295
00:13:08,336 --> 00:13:11,003
If this is a viable thing,
we could get a patent

296
00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:14,073
and license it to companies
that make guidance systems.

297
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:16,542
Look at that. You've known
you're gonna be a father

298
00:13:16,544 --> 00:13:19,211
for less than a day
and you're already stepping up.

299
00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:20,446
I'm telling you,
you got this.

300
00:13:20,448 --> 00:13:21,714
Maybe you're right.

301
00:13:21,716 --> 00:13:23,182
Of course he's right.

302
00:13:23,184 --> 00:13:26,952
You and I both know how hard it
is growing up without a father.

303
00:13:26,954 --> 00:13:28,854
That's why I'm confident
you're gonna be

304
00:13:28,856 --> 00:13:30,589
the best dad you can be.

305
00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,492
Thank you, Sheldon.

306
00:13:33,494 --> 00:13:34,794
You're welcome.

307
00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:36,395
And if he has
twins, we can do

308
00:13:36,397 --> 00:13:39,865
all kinds
of neat experiments on them.

309
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:45,204
You guys can go in
if you want.

310
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:46,505
No, we're a team.

311
00:13:46,507 --> 00:13:48,474
If you can't go in,
we're not going in.

312
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:51,610
Then why are we drinking?

313
00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:54,346
Okay, it's not like she's got
the Christ child in there,

314
00:13:54,348 --> 00:13:56,282
all right?

315
00:13:57,718 --> 00:13:59,251
Oh. It's Leonard.

316
00:13:59,253 --> 00:14:01,554
He says Sheldon's drunk
and they're gonna do karaoke

317
00:14:01,556 --> 00:14:02,688
if we want to join them.

318
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,623
That sounds fun.

319
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:06,525
Oh, no.

320
00:14:06,527 --> 00:14:08,460
Sheldon's drunk
texting me.

321
00:14:08,462 --> 00:14:09,495
What's it say?

322
00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:12,231
"Would you like
to sing karaoke with us."

323
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,666
How is that a drunk text?

324
00:14:13,668 --> 00:14:15,568
He used a period
instead of a question mark.

325
00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:18,037
He's so wasted.

326
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:01,313
Hey, guys. Congratulations!

327
00:15:01,315 --> 00:15:02,281
Thank you.

328
00:15:02,283 --> 00:15:04,950
Hi. How are you doing?

329
00:15:04,952 --> 00:15:06,552
Oh, wonderful.

330
00:15:06,554 --> 00:15:09,922
I'm being musically
encouraged to bust a move.

331
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:13,592
If I knew what that meant,
I might just do it.

332
00:15:13,594 --> 00:15:15,261
I'm really glad
you're here.

333
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:17,363
Can we talk?
Sure.

334
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:20,599
So, you gonna get
up there later?

335
00:15:20,601 --> 00:15:22,434
A microphone,
a room

336
00:15:22,436 --> 00:15:24,737
full of inaccurate depictions
of Polynesian religion,

337
00:15:24,739 --> 00:15:29,074
and a captive audience
to hear about it? You bet I am.

338
00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:33,212
I'm sorry I freaked out
this morning.

339
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:34,647
I want you to know...

340
00:15:34,649 --> 00:15:36,815
I'm done being scared.

341
00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:39,618
It's okay to be nervous.
I am, too.

342
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,320
Thank God, 'cause I was lying...
you might not have to wait

343
00:15:41,322 --> 00:15:44,490
nine months to see
someone soil their pants.

344
00:15:44,492 --> 00:15:48,494
But I'm also
really excited.

345
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,696
I mean it.

346
00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:51,997
Me, too.

347
00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:53,599
I love you.

348
00:15:54,635 --> 00:15:56,335
Mmm.
And I'm not just saying that

349
00:15:56,337 --> 00:15:58,570
because your breasts
are gonna get bigger.

350
00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:00,532
I appreciate this,
but you really...

351
00:17:28,562 --> 00:17:30,129
I'd like to dedicate

352
00:17:30,131 --> 00:17:33,832
my last song of the evening
to my wife,

353
00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:35,768
best friend,
and...

354
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:38,203
now the mother of our child.

355
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:40,806
I love you, Bernie.

356
00:18:01,128 --> 00:18:02,628
You're kidding!

357
00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:06,799
What kind of maniacs have coitus
in someone else's bedroom?

358
00:18:09,603 --> 00:18:12,204
Thank you, Pasadena!
Good night!

359
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,587
That was such
a fun night.

360
00:18:23,589 --> 00:18:25,289
Probably 'cause you got
to see your man

361
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:28,392
up there rockin' the mic.

362
00:18:28,394 --> 00:18:30,027
Yeah, yeah.
I was a little surprised

363
00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,995
when you decided to beat-box.

364
00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:34,865
Oh. That was really
an asthma attack.

365
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:37,334
I just sold it.

366
00:18:38,337 --> 00:18:40,304
Well, I am so happy for
Howard and Bernadette.

367
00:18:40,306 --> 00:18:41,838
Me, too.

368
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:45,075
So, you ever think about it?

369
00:18:45,077 --> 00:18:46,443
Babies?
Mm-hmm.

370
00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:49,246
Well, I'm not in a rush
but someday, yeah, sure.

371
00:18:49,248 --> 00:18:50,781
What about you?

372
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:54,951
I think we'd make
amazing parents.

373
00:18:54,953 --> 00:18:57,020
Will you guys keep it down?

374
00:19:01,593 --> 00:19:04,661
On the other hand, we might lack
a certain maturity.

375
00:19:06,439 --> 00:19:12,939
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man