1
00:00:00,405 --> 00:00:02,269
if Emily and I
are right for each other.

2
00:00:02,271 --> 00:00:04,635
Does this have to do with
that girl you had coffee with?

3
00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:07,635
You mean the strong, sexy angel
I can't stop thinking about?

4
00:00:07,637 --> 00:00:09,969
Who can say?

5
00:00:09,971 --> 00:00:13,102
I need to come up with
a big idea to make some money.

6
00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:15,069
There's no reason you can't.
That's easy for you to say.

7
00:00:15,071 --> 00:00:16,502
You and Sheldon already came up

8
00:00:16,504 --> 00:00:18,303
with your
superfluid helium model.

9
00:00:18,305 --> 00:00:19,502
That's just research.

10
00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:21,269
We're never going
to make any money from it.

11
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,236
Forget helium...
the real superfluid

12
00:00:23,238 --> 00:00:25,468
is the fruit punch in this mug.

13
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:29,568
It reminds me of my daddy's
secret "Don't Tell Mama" juice.

14
00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:32,468
Maybe that's an idea.

15
00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:35,202
Guidance systems
for drunk people.

16
00:00:35,204 --> 00:00:37,369
They have that,
it's called Uber.

17
00:00:38,904 --> 00:00:40,635
Hey, in your supercooled
helium experiments,

18
00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:43,069
did you create
quantum vortices?

19
00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:44,069
Yeah, why?

20
00:00:44,071 --> 00:00:45,502
Well, if you made
a guidance system,

21
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,835
couldn't you use those vortices
as a gyroscope?

22
00:00:47,837 --> 00:00:50,269
Wow. Never thought about that.

23
00:00:50,271 --> 00:00:52,036
And, since it's
in a quantum state,

24
00:00:52,038 --> 00:00:53,535
it would maintain
an infinite persistence.

25
00:00:53,537 --> 00:00:54,702
Groundbreaking
revelations,

26
00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:56,269
tropical drinks.

27
00:00:56,271 --> 00:01:00,136
Tell me this isn't like the best
episode of Sex and the City.

28
00:01:06,771 --> 00:01:08,069
Okay, I gotta ask...

29
00:01:08,071 --> 00:01:09,835
why are you wearing
a bow tie?

30
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,769
I've never applied
for a patent before.

31
00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:14,602
I wanted to make
a good impression.

32
00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:17,869
Oh. Is the impression that
your first name is Pee-Wee?

33
00:01:23,004 --> 00:01:25,602
Yeah, well, you're an engineer.

34
00:01:25,604 --> 00:01:27,202
End of joke, burn.

35
00:01:30,038 --> 00:01:31,269
Come on in, fellas.

36
00:01:31,271 --> 00:01:33,269
See, he's not wearing a tie.

37
00:01:33,271 --> 00:01:34,502
Well, he's
a patent attorney.

38
00:01:34,504 --> 00:01:36,369
Maybe his tie is pending.

39
00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:39,702
So, I've reviewed
your paperwork,

40
00:01:39,704 --> 00:01:42,002
and it seems like
we've got everything we need

41
00:01:42,004 --> 00:01:43,069
to file a patent

42
00:01:43,071 --> 00:01:45,102
for your infinite
persistence gyroscope.

43
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:46,202
That's great!
Excellent.

44
00:01:46,204 --> 00:01:47,568
So what happens next?

45
00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:49,036
Well, the legal team
needs to review

46
00:01:49,038 --> 00:01:50,969
existing patents
to avoid overlap.

47
00:01:50,971 --> 00:01:52,468
Oh, I don't think
there will be.

48
00:01:52,470 --> 00:01:53,969
Yes, we did
our own search.

49
00:01:53,971 --> 00:01:57,269
That's nice, but I think ours
might be a bit more thorough.

50
00:01:57,271 --> 00:02:01,002
Get a load of this guy.

51
00:02:01,004 --> 00:02:03,368
Can you imagine if we
make money with this?

52
00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:04,935
If we do,
I am splurging

53
00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:07,669
on the best sinus irrigator
money can buy.

54
00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:10,368
That old sad story...

55
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:13,402
guy gets a little money,
goes straight up his nose.

56
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:17,136
Just need you to review
and sign this document

57
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,269
acknowledging that you
understand the university

58
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,136
will own 75% of the patent.

59
00:02:23,238 --> 00:02:25,502
75%?

60
00:02:25,504 --> 00:02:26,635
That's outrageous.

61
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:29,435
This is our idea
based on our research.

62
00:02:29,437 --> 00:02:32,602
How can you possibly justify
owning a majority share?

63
00:02:32,604 --> 00:02:34,069
It's university policy.

64
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,335
I know when I'm beat.

65
00:02:36,337 --> 00:02:38,702
Hold on, hold on.
So the three of us

66
00:02:38,704 --> 00:02:42,202
do all the work
and only end up with 25%?

67
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,169
Dr. Hofstadter, this university

68
00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:46,102
has been paying your salaries
for over ten years.

69
00:02:46,104 --> 00:02:48,802
Did you think we do that out
of the goodness of our hearts?

70
00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:52,602
Well, until you just said
that mean thing, kinda.

71
00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:55,769
And as far as
Mr. Wolowitz is concerned,

72
00:02:55,771 --> 00:02:59,002
I'm afraid as a federal employee
on loan from NASA:

73
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,769
your name can be
on the patent,

74
00:03:00,771 --> 00:03:04,169
but you're not entitled
to an ownership share.

75
00:03:04,171 --> 00:03:06,435
Wait, so this can turn out to be

76
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,602
a financial success,
and I get nothing?

77
00:03:09,604 --> 00:03:13,502
Well, sometimes
they give you a plaque.

78
00:03:13,504 --> 00:03:15,002
Well, that's not fair.

79
00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:17,069
We should all get plaques.

80
00:03:19,537 --> 00:03:21,202
Sorry, but we
can't sign this.

81
00:03:21,204 --> 00:03:22,869
Come on, let's go.

82
00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:24,802
Thank you for your time.

83
00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:29,969
Couple of questions
about the plaque...

84
00:03:55,356 --> 00:03:57,354
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

85
00:04:00,611 --> 00:04:03,176
So, have you been having
any morning sickness?

86
00:04:03,178 --> 00:04:04,542
A little.

87
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,742
And it doesn't help

88
00:04:05,744 --> 00:04:07,009
that I've got this heightened
sense of smell.

89
00:04:07,011 --> 00:04:09,442
Is that a pregnancy thing?
Yeah.

90
00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:10,575
The other day I sniffed out

91
00:04:10,577 --> 00:04:13,308
where Howie
hid the Girl Scout cookies.

92
00:04:14,310 --> 00:04:18,709
No more Tagalongs, my ass.

93
00:04:18,711 --> 00:04:20,109
But now you'll be able to make

94
00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:23,143
your own milk
to eat the cookies with.

95
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:26,209
Hey, guys. Hey, Penny.

96
00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,143
I really appreciate
you helping me with this.

97
00:04:28,145 --> 00:04:29,475
I don't know what to do.

98
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,375
Oh, sure. Let me see it.
See what?

99
00:04:31,377 --> 00:04:33,442
I hadn't spoken to Emily
since I broke up with her,

100
00:04:33,444 --> 00:04:35,609
and she left this
on my doorstep with a note.

101
00:04:35,611 --> 00:04:39,109
"Raj, I got you this before we
split up, but couldn't return it

102
00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:40,809
"and thought
you'd like to have it.

103
00:04:40,811 --> 00:04:42,976
Happy belated
Valentine's Day, Emily"

104
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,375
That's nice.

105
00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:46,408
Nice, or is she trying
to manipulate him?

106
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,976
I know. I mean, do I open it?
Do I return it?

107
00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:50,275
Why wouldn't you open it?

108
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:51,375
Well, she was pretty mad.

109
00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:53,208
For all I know
it's a voodoo doll of me

110
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,809
with a fork stuck in my junk.

111
00:04:57,344 --> 00:04:59,609
You don't think she'd actually
send you something gross

112
00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:01,042
or dangerous, do you?

113
00:05:01,044 --> 00:05:03,609
I know one way
to find out... sniff this.

114
00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:08,709
She's pregnant,
she's not a bloodhound.

115
00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:10,509
Although I am getting
a little machine oil.

116
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,175
I think it's metal.

117
00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:13,809
Come on, just open it.

118
00:05:13,811 --> 00:05:16,709
You know,
on Game of Thrones,

119
00:05:16,711 --> 00:05:20,542
Balon Greyjoy received
his son's genitals in a box.

120
00:05:20,544 --> 00:05:23,242
Well, never hurts
to have a spare.

121
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:27,475
What is that?

122
00:05:27,477 --> 00:05:30,275
Wow. It's an antique sextant.

123
00:05:30,277 --> 00:05:34,009
Sailors used these to find
their position by the stars.

124
00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:36,408
What a nice gift
for an astrophysicist.

125
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:38,009
I know, she's so thoughtful.

126
00:05:38,011 --> 00:05:39,675
See, she's trying
to get you back.

127
00:05:39,677 --> 00:05:41,442
Now, that is exactly
what I would've gotten you

128
00:05:41,444 --> 00:05:45,142
if I had any idea
what it is or what you do.

129
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:48,342
You know, I have too much
self-esteem to let this girl

130
00:05:48,344 --> 00:05:50,642
guilt me into getting back
together with her.

131
00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:54,909
You don't need to be pregnant
to smell that load of crap.

132
00:05:57,078 --> 00:06:00,142
Well, what if we go
around the university

133
00:06:00,144 --> 00:06:01,308
and just get
the patent ourselves?

134
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,642
We can't.
It says on their Web site,

135
00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:04,208
as long as we work there,
they have

136
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:07,475
a controlling ownership
of anything we come up with.

137
00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:10,009
Great, so they own
my idea for a T-shirt

138
00:06:10,011 --> 00:06:13,242
that says
"Dumb as a Bag of Geologists."

139
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,042
Well, our choices are we
do this with the university

140
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,308
or we don't do it at all.

141
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:23,208
Either way, I get nothing.

142
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,542
Or, if we ended up
making money from this,

143
00:06:25,544 --> 00:06:28,342
Sheldon and I could split
our shares with you.

144
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,208
To be clear,

145
00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,709
Leonard is referring
to the gyroscope,

146
00:06:31,711 --> 00:06:34,275
not the T-shirt and mugs.

147
00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:37,208
Oh! Now they own the mugs.

148
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:40,742
I guess that is
a way around this.

149
00:06:40,744 --> 00:06:43,042
You guys would be cool
doing it like that?

150
00:06:43,044 --> 00:06:44,842
Of course, we can split
any profits three ways.

151
00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:45,809
I'm fine with that.

152
00:06:45,811 --> 00:06:47,575
Okay, great.

153
00:06:47,577 --> 00:06:51,275
It sounds like a, uh,
contract might be in order.

154
00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:56,208
Sure, we could write
something up.

155
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:57,909
But which one of us should be
the party who...

156
00:06:57,911 --> 00:06:59,175
You can do it, Sheldon.

157
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:00,809
So stipulated!

158
00:07:02,611 --> 00:07:05,542
Once I found a stash
of contracts under his bed.

159
00:07:05,544 --> 00:07:07,075
It was weird.

160
00:07:10,611 --> 00:07:13,942
I wonder how much
she spent on this.

161
00:07:13,944 --> 00:07:15,075
Ooh, let's find out.

162
00:07:15,077 --> 00:07:16,842
It doesn't matter.

163
00:07:16,844 --> 00:07:18,909
It's the thought
that counts.

164
00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:20,408
Yeah, yeah,
and beauty's on the inside,

165
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,208
size doesn't matter...
how much she spend?

166
00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:25,575
Seriously, guys,
I don't want to know.

167
00:07:25,577 --> 00:07:27,075
Oh, my.

168
00:07:27,077 --> 00:07:30,342
Oh, come on, you can't say
"Oh, my," and then not tell me!

169
00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:33,442
These things go for $500 and up.

170
00:07:33,444 --> 00:07:34,642
Damn.

171
00:07:34,644 --> 00:07:36,642
All I got for Valentine's Day
was a postcard

172
00:07:36,644 --> 00:07:39,375
saying my Vermont Teddy Bear
was back-ordered.

173
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:40,609
Okay, so, she drops off

174
00:07:40,611 --> 00:07:41,976
a $500 gift

175
00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,709
and she's not trying to
get back together with you?

176
00:07:43,711 --> 00:07:45,375
Maybe you're right.

177
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,609
Or she's telling the truth
and just being nice.

178
00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:48,842
Maybe you're right.

179
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,942
Wow, I am easy to manipulate.

180
00:07:54,177 --> 00:07:56,242
Oh, guys, it's Emily.

181
00:07:56,244 --> 00:07:57,509
What should I do?

182
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,876
Okay, answer it.
Just be strong.

183
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:00,709
And if she starts to cry,
don't make any promises.

184
00:08:00,711 --> 00:08:03,942
And most importantly, put it
on speaker so we can hear.

185
00:08:06,077 --> 00:08:07,408
Hello?

186
00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:08,876
Hey, it's Emily.

187
00:08:08,878 --> 00:08:10,142
Is this a good time?

188
00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,175
Yeah, yeah. Sure. What's up?

189
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,408
Was it okay I left that gift?

190
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,075
I'm really hoping
we can be friends.

191
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:24,542
Maybe, maybe.

192
00:08:24,544 --> 00:08:28,408
Um, you think you'd want
to grab a cup of coffee?

193
00:08:38,711 --> 00:08:40,442
Hello?

194
00:08:40,444 --> 00:08:44,008
I'm sorry, I seem to be taking
an annoying amount of time

195
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:46,142
deciding how I feel about this!

196
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,475
I just...
I miss hanging out with you.

197
00:08:50,477 --> 00:08:54,308
It's not like I lost a friend,
it's like I lost my best friend.

198
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,842
Is there any chance

199
00:08:56,844 --> 00:08:59,075
you'd want to come over?

200
00:09:02,077 --> 00:09:05,609
I'm sorry, I don't think
that's a good idea.

201
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,675
Okay. I'm just...

202
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,142
I'm having a really hard time,

203
00:09:09,144 --> 00:09:11,909
but that's not your problem,
that's mine.

204
00:09:11,911 --> 00:09:13,809
I-I won't bother you again,

205
00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:17,941
but please know that you'll
always have a place in my heart.

206
00:09:22,977 --> 00:09:24,275
Bye, Raj.

207
00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:26,609
You're a good guy.

208
00:09:26,611 --> 00:09:28,908
Good-bye, Emily.

209
00:09:30,477 --> 00:09:32,876
That was rough, you guys.

210
00:09:32,878 --> 00:09:34,742
I know, but you did it.
I'm so proud of you.

211
00:09:34,744 --> 00:09:37,375
Well, anyway, I'll leave you
to your girls' night.

212
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,275
Are you sure you don't want
to stay here with us?

213
00:09:39,277 --> 00:09:41,275
No, I kind of feel like
being alone right now.

214
00:09:41,277 --> 00:09:43,275
Well, if you change your mind,
we'll be here.

215
00:09:43,277 --> 00:09:45,208
Thank you.

216
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,075
Say hi to Emily for us.

217
00:09:47,077 --> 00:09:49,242
Will do.

218
00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:59,759
This contract
looks good to me.

219
00:09:59,761 --> 00:10:01,358
I'll say it looks good.

220
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,458
It's in my proprietary
font, Shelvetica.

221
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:09,091
I want to say
something obnoxious,

222
00:10:09,093 --> 00:10:12,091
but it is easy on the eyes.

223
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:15,225
I'm a little tired, Howie.
You ready to go?

224
00:10:15,227 --> 00:10:17,658
Yeah, one sec. I just need
to sign this contract.

225
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,425
What is it?
Well, we ran into a problem

226
00:10:19,427 --> 00:10:21,125
about my share of the patent,
so we're forming

227
00:10:21,127 --> 00:10:23,924
a partnership to split
anything we make equally.

228
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,558
Sheldon, did you draft
the contract?

229
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,725
You bet I did.

230
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,991
Ooh. You're gonna make
out so hard tonight.

231
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,291
So, you're
just gonna sign this

232
00:10:35,293 --> 00:10:37,091
without having
a lawyer look at it?

233
00:10:37,093 --> 00:10:38,625
Excuse me.

234
00:10:38,627 --> 00:10:40,958
I've been drafting contracts
since kindergarten.

235
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,958
Didn't need a lawyer to get me
out of finger painting.

236
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,291
Don't need one now.

237
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:46,891
I know, but...
Bernie,

238
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,625
the guys were nice enough
to find a way

239
00:10:48,627 --> 00:10:50,358
to keep me from being cut out.

240
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,258
Well, I should hope so.

241
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,924
The whole thing was your idea.

242
00:10:53,926 --> 00:10:59,425
Well, to be fair, Howard's idea
was based on Sheldon's math.

243
00:10:59,427 --> 00:11:01,358
Guys, everyone is involved
in this, okay?

244
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,759
Howard's invention,

245
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,492
Sheldon's math,
my original theory

246
00:11:04,494 --> 00:11:06,824
that space-time was like
a supercooled liquid.

247
00:11:06,826 --> 00:11:08,725
Which I'm sure
Penny would've mentioned

248
00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:11,492
if she wasn't working
on that hangnail right now.

249
00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:14,792
What?

250
00:11:15,993 --> 00:11:17,958
Honey, this is fine.

251
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,525
If you want to sign a contract
that Sheldon whipped up,

252
00:11:20,527 --> 00:11:21,492
go ahead.

253
00:11:21,494 --> 00:11:23,425
Can I talk to you in the hall?

254
00:11:23,427 --> 00:11:25,325
Sure.
Excuse us.

255
00:11:27,761 --> 00:11:29,425
Hey, Leonard.
What?

256
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:32,458
If she doesn't think that
we should apply for this patent,

257
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:35,325
she's being patently absurd.

258
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:38,824
Good one.

259
00:11:38,826 --> 00:11:41,024
Okay, you got it.

260
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:44,191
See, I was afraid
it was a thinker.

261
00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:47,858
What are you doing?
I just want to make sure

262
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,091
you've thought this through.

263
00:11:49,093 --> 00:11:50,924
What's to think about?
We have an invention

264
00:11:50,926 --> 00:11:52,325
and want to move forward.

265
00:11:52,327 --> 00:11:55,492
Howie, you're about
to form a legal partnership

266
00:11:55,494 --> 00:11:58,492
with Sheldon Cooper.

267
00:11:59,694 --> 00:12:01,858
All right, if you're gonna
calmly make excellent points,

268
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,924
then I don't know
if I want to talk to you.

269
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,958
Okay. I get it.

270
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,991
And it's sweet that
you're worried about me,

271
00:12:10,993 --> 00:12:13,325
but I can take care of myself.

272
00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,924
I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me.

273
00:12:15,926 --> 00:12:18,425
I don't want to go through
this pregnancy listening

274
00:12:18,427 --> 00:12:20,991
to you complain about Sheldon
driving you crazy

275
00:12:20,993 --> 00:12:22,058
more than you already do.

276
00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:26,625
Here we go with
the ironclad logic again.

277
00:12:26,627 --> 00:12:29,358
You've tried to work
with him before.

278
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,625
It hasn't gone well.

279
00:12:30,627 --> 00:12:33,125
Why is this time
gonna be any different?

280
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,225
Is the fetus helping you?

281
00:12:35,227 --> 00:12:37,091
'Cause that's cheating.

282
00:12:42,093 --> 00:12:44,158
- Hello?
- Hey, Raj.

283
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,525
It's Claire. How are you?

284
00:12:45,527 --> 00:12:47,592
Hi. I'm good. Really good.

285
00:12:47,594 --> 00:12:49,658
Well, I don't know
why I said "really good."

286
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:50,924
I'm just regular good.

287
00:12:50,926 --> 00:12:52,258
I really just wanted
to sound confident.

288
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,891
And that "really"
was a real "really,"

289
00:12:53,893 --> 00:12:57,492
not a fake "really"
like the first "really."

290
00:12:57,494 --> 00:12:58,724
Really?

291
00:12:58,726 --> 00:13:01,758
I don't know. I lost track
and I missed my exit.

292
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,525
So, uh... so what's up?

293
00:13:03,527 --> 00:13:04,824
Well, last time we talked,

294
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,791
I had just gotten back together
with my boyfriend,

295
00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:10,592
and I wanted to let you know
that things didn't work out.

296
00:13:10,594 --> 00:13:11,991
Really? I'm sorry.

297
00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:14,258
I swear I know other words.

298
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,592
So if you were
still interested...

299
00:13:16,594 --> 00:13:19,058
Yes! Indeed!
Absolutely! Indubitably!

300
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,891
I'm not even sure
what the last one means,

301
00:13:20,893 --> 00:13:22,991
but it's another word,
and I know it.

302
00:13:22,993 --> 00:13:24,492
So, uh,

303
00:13:24,494 --> 00:13:25,958
when do you want to meet up?

304
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,658
Uh, I'm almost off work.

305
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:28,858
What are you doing now?

306
00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:30,758
R-Right now, well...

307
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,191
Well, actually,
to-to be completely honest,

308
00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:34,924
I'm stopping by
to see my ex-girlfriend

309
00:13:34,926 --> 00:13:36,691
because she's having
a tough time. But...

310
00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:38,625
it's not like we're getting
back together or anything.

311
00:13:38,627 --> 00:13:41,358
Let me guess, the worst part
about breaking up

312
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,492
is that she doesn't have her
best friend to talk to anymore?

313
00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:45,991
That's exactly what she said!

314
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,425
How do you know that?

315
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,458
I'm a girl. It's, like,
page one out of the playbook.

316
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:53,791
Any chance you could send me
a PDF of that playbook?

317
00:13:56,327 --> 00:13:57,691
They've been out
there a while.

318
00:13:57,693 --> 00:13:59,291
I hope
everything's okay.

319
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:01,724
- I wonder what they're talking about.
- If you guys

320
00:14:01,726 --> 00:14:04,191
would shut up,
I could tell you.

321
00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:05,225
Oh.

322
00:14:05,227 --> 00:14:07,058
Be cool, be cool, be cool.

323
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,358
Hey.

324
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,125
Hello.
Hey. You guys all right?

325
00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:14,592
Yeah. But, um, we were talking,

326
00:14:14,594 --> 00:14:17,458
and... I'm a
little concerned

327
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:20,024
about the three of us
forming a partnership.

328
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:25,358
Are you suggesting
a limited liability corporation?

329
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,091
'Cause I did not
L-L-see that coming.

330
00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:33,858
Sheldon, my concern is not
with the money or anything.

331
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,724
It's-it's with
how you treat me.

332
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:39,624
Well, I believe I'm
treating you generously.

333
00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:41,791
That's why I've stipulated
in the contract

334
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,691
that your contributions
to our invention

335
00:14:43,693 --> 00:14:45,691
are as valuable as my own.

336
00:14:45,693 --> 00:14:47,358
Are you saying
that his contributions

337
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,325
aren't as valuable
as yours?

338
00:14:49,327 --> 00:14:51,391
No, I am not saying that,

339
00:14:51,393 --> 00:14:53,591
because I kept saying
that this morning

340
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,924
and Leonard said,
"Stop saying that"

341
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,258
See? This is what happens
every time we work together.

342
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:01,492
You know what, hang on.

343
00:15:01,494 --> 00:15:03,158
What if Sheldon had no choice

344
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,657
but to be respectful?

345
00:15:04,659 --> 00:15:08,858
Is there a switch on the back
of his neck we don't know about?

346
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,924
No.

347
00:15:10,926 --> 00:15:12,724
What I'm saying is you could add
a clause to the contract

348
00:15:12,726 --> 00:15:14,358
that he can't make fun
of Howard.

349
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,091
How would you enforce it?

350
00:15:16,093 --> 00:15:17,924
Oh, please.
Any contract I sign

351
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:20,624
is enforced by my own
personal code of ethics.

352
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,458
And his obsessive-compulsive
disorder.

353
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:23,824
Yeah, that, too.

354
00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:25,791
And scoot over.

355
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:28,325
Part of your shadow's
on my spot.

356
00:15:31,527 --> 00:15:33,125
Howard, what do you think?

357
00:15:33,127 --> 00:15:35,291
I'm on board.

358
00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:36,824
I'll add it right now.

359
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,325
Oh, baby, it's addendum time!

360
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,458
Hello?

361
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,924
Hey, Emily, listen,

362
00:15:47,926 --> 00:15:50,091
I've been thinking,
and I'm not sure

363
00:15:50,093 --> 00:15:51,991
it's a good idea
that I come over.

364
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,391
Oh.

365
00:15:53,393 --> 00:15:56,191
Okay. I understand.

366
00:15:56,193 --> 00:15:58,291
No, no. Please don't cry.

367
00:15:58,293 --> 00:16:00,858
Okay, I'll stop!

368
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,425
Hello?

369
00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:06,891
Hey, so, listen, Claire,
change of plans...

370
00:16:06,893 --> 00:16:09,858
Fine. Do what you want,
but she's playing you.

371
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:12,557
I don't think so.
She sounded pretty upset.

372
00:16:12,559 --> 00:16:13,791
You mean like...

373
00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:15,924
"I was just really
looking forward to seeing you.

374
00:16:15,926 --> 00:16:18,391
I'm having such a rough day."

375
00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:22,291
Emily, listen...

376
00:16:22,293 --> 00:16:24,858
I'm sorry,

377
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,724
but I can't come by.

378
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:27,924
Why not?

379
00:16:27,926 --> 00:16:30,158
I think we both know
if I come over,

380
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,591
we're gonna get back together and...
I told you

381
00:16:32,593 --> 00:16:33,724
I needed a friend.

382
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,491
What do you think
is happening here?

383
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:40,491
Call you right back.

384
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:47,325
The-the revisions I made
start on page four.

385
00:16:47,327 --> 00:16:50,691
Wow. That is a lot
of "whereupons".

386
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:54,091
You should see the
Valentine's Day card he gave me.

387
00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:57,091
"Article three:
As it pertains to this project,

388
00:16:57,093 --> 00:17:00,325
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper promises
to abstain from all insulting or

389
00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:03,291
"disrespectful language
directed toward Howard Wolowitz,

390
00:17:03,293 --> 00:17:06,291
"including but not limited to:
mockery of engineering,

391
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,891
"his height, his hair,
his wardrobe,

392
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:11,425
"and his insane belief
that the Ghost Rider movie

393
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:14,457
was, quote, 'not that bad.'"

394
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,557
Hang on. Maybe there should be
a "no insult" clause

395
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,891
about me, too.

396
00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:22,024
Do you still like cilantro?
Yeah.

397
00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:23,824
You're tying my hands here.

398
00:17:25,559 --> 00:17:27,624
- All right, let's sign this.
- Wait, wait, wait.

399
00:17:27,626 --> 00:17:29,657
What are these changes
on page six?

400
00:17:29,659 --> 00:17:30,958
Sheldon, what did you do?

401
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:31,791
I should've known.

402
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,457
"25% of profits

403
00:17:33,459 --> 00:17:36,557
"due to Sheldon Cooper will be
allocated to a scholarship fund

404
00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:40,291
for the firstborn child of
Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz"

405
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,791
Sheldon, that's so nice.

406
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:44,858
That beats

407
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,457
the onesie I was gonna get them

408
00:17:46,459 --> 00:17:48,758
from babyGap.

409
00:17:49,593 --> 00:17:52,291
That's very generous,
Sheldon.

410
00:17:52,293 --> 00:17:54,958
Oh, I've always valued
education over money.

411
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,791
And the very fact that you
needed a written guarantee

412
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,225
of respect made me realize

413
00:17:59,227 --> 00:18:01,824
how dismissive I've been
of your contributions.

414
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:04,524
I appreciate that.
And I just hope

415
00:18:04,526 --> 00:18:08,058
that this scholarship
can rescue your child

416
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,657
from the subpar education

417
00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:13,691
and menial life
of an engineer.

418
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,024
Sheldon.
What?

419
00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:19,225
I didn't sign it yet.

420
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:29,247
I hear what you're saying,

421
00:18:29,249 --> 00:18:30,846
but I've known Emily
a long time,

422
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,280
and I think she deserves
the benefit of the doubt.

423
00:18:33,282 --> 00:18:35,013
All right, it's your life.

424
00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:37,247
But you know
how this is gonna end.

425
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,713
As a matter of fact, I do.

426
00:18:38,715 --> 00:18:40,880
I'm gonna comfort her,
because I'm a caring

427
00:18:40,882 --> 00:18:42,846
and decent friend
who's happy to be there

428
00:18:42,848 --> 00:18:45,846
when she needs someone
to talk to.

429
00:18:45,848 --> 00:18:47,746
Good talk.

430
00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:57,325
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man