1
00:00:00,699 --> 00:00:02,531
I won a night of
wine tasting from work.

2
00:00:02,533 --> 00:00:04,031
That sounds fun.
Mm-hmm.

3
00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:07,430
How come scientists don't win
free stuff like salespeople do?

4
00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:09,098
'Cause we're not in it
for the stuff.

5
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,798
We're in it
for the groupies.

6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,064
Personally,

7
00:00:13,066 --> 00:00:15,864
I find the notion of
external rewards demeaning.

8
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:19,164
I pursue science for the
intrinsic joy of discovery.

9
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:22,064
But you always say that
you want to win a Nobel Prize.

10
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:24,531
I also say don't contradict
me in front of my friends,

11
00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:25,798
but that you
don't remember.

12
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,864
All right, well, let me know
if you guys want to go.

13
00:00:28,866 --> 00:00:30,064
I would love to.

14
00:00:30,066 --> 00:00:33,197
I do enjoy the complexity
of an aged Pinot noir.

15
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,497
I'm sure that would pair nicely

16
00:00:34,499 --> 00:00:36,430
with your fried nuggets
of chicken.

17
00:00:38,199 --> 00:00:40,297
Well, it sounds like
a nice night. We should go.

18
00:00:40,299 --> 00:00:41,364
Wine again?

19
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:42,597
Yeah, no, thank you.

20
00:00:42,599 --> 00:00:44,497
I like my grapes
the old-fashioned way:

21
00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:46,831
in a juice box.

22
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:48,197
Well, I'm going.

23
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:50,197
You couldn't stop me from
getting a massage at the mall,

24
00:00:50,199 --> 00:00:51,864
and you're not stopping me now.

25
00:00:51,866 --> 00:00:53,631
I shouldn't have to
see my girlfriend

26
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,464
get groped in public
by another man.

27
00:00:55,466 --> 00:00:58,031
And I shouldn't
have to see my boyfriend

28
00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:00,664
riding on a train for children
around the mall.

29
00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:04,264
The little choo-choo
for toddlers?

30
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,330
And now you know why
I needed the massage.

31
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,097
Well, we're out.

32
00:01:09,099 --> 00:01:10,898
Bernie can't drink
'cause she's pregnant.

33
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,831
And she's pregnant
because we had sex.

34
00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:14,264
And we had sex because...

35
00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:16,998
well, come on.

36
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:20,064
It's okay.
You should go.

37
00:01:20,066 --> 00:01:21,031
You sure?

38
00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:22,230
Of course.

39
00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:25,998
Yeah, give her a break from,
"Well, come on."

40
00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:29,864
Well, Bernadette, looks like
Saturday night, it's you and me.

41
00:01:29,866 --> 00:01:32,664
Me? How? Why?

42
00:01:32,666 --> 00:01:34,330
Well, it makes perfect sense.

43
00:01:34,332 --> 00:01:37,130
Because you're an expectant
mother, you can't drink alcohol.

44
00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:38,097
I don't like to.

45
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,464
You can't have sushi.

46
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,430
I don't like to.

47
00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:42,063
You can't go in hot tubs.

48
00:01:42,065 --> 00:01:45,230
I consider them
vats of sweaty people soup.

49
00:01:46,299 --> 00:01:48,097
Gee, Sheldon, I don't know.

50
00:01:48,099 --> 00:01:49,497
Oh, come on.

51
00:01:49,499 --> 00:01:51,998
Roller coasters, caffeine,
runny eggs...

52
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,831
I've been avoiding these things
all my life.

53
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:57,097
And now, because you're
pregnant, you have to.

54
00:01:57,099 --> 00:01:59,230
The difference is she's
bringing life into the world,

55
00:01:59,232 --> 00:02:01,164
and you suck it out.

56
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,964
I guess we could give it a try.

57
00:02:03,966 --> 00:02:06,531
Well, little lady,
you've heard of party hearty;

58
00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:09,130
get ready to party hardly.

59
00:02:10,366 --> 00:02:12,998
I bet you'd like
a drink right now.

60
00:02:39,141 --> 00:02:44,136
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

61
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,859
Hey, you think
it'd be okay

62
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,492
if I brought Claire
to the wine tasting?

63
00:02:47,494 --> 00:02:49,291
Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Oh, that's great.

64
00:02:49,293 --> 00:02:50,959
I've been wanting her
to meet you guys, too,

65
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:52,592
so this seems like
the perfect opportunity.

66
00:02:52,594 --> 00:02:54,091
Oh, but I won't be there.

67
00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:55,425
Funny how that worked out.

68
00:02:56,827 --> 00:02:59,425
Does this mean Emily's not
in the picture anymore?

69
00:02:59,427 --> 00:03:00,492
No, I'm still dating her.

70
00:03:00,494 --> 00:03:01,659
Okay, help me out.

71
00:03:01,661 --> 00:03:02,991
How are you doing this?

72
00:03:02,993 --> 00:03:04,825
Do they know about each other?

73
00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:06,558
They know that
we're not exclusive,

74
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,692
and we just don't ask
too many questions.

75
00:03:08,694 --> 00:03:11,325
You know, it's like how I play
Warlords of Ka'a with you

76
00:03:11,327 --> 00:03:15,091
and Elder Sign with
Frank and Alicia.

77
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:17,659
Who's Frank and Alicia?

78
00:03:17,661 --> 00:03:20,091
Y... You and I spend
a lot of time together.

79
00:03:20,093 --> 00:03:22,692
Can there be a little
mystery between us?

80
00:03:22,694 --> 00:03:24,458
Okay.

81
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,225
Everything's hooked up.
We're ready.

82
00:03:26,227 --> 00:03:29,158
I am going to record
this for posterity.

83
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,859
All right, here goes nothing.

84
00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:32,225
Here goes nothing?

85
00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:33,859
This is the initial test
of our prototype.

86
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:35,458
Can we give it
a little more gravitas?

87
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,625
Fine.

88
00:03:36,627 --> 00:03:39,425
Preliminary trial
of the infinite persistence

89
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,492
gyroscopic navigational system:
phase one commencing.

90
00:03:42,494 --> 00:03:43,859
Eh... maybe it's your voice.

91
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,692
I'm gonna see if I can get James
Earl Jones to do it in post.

92
00:03:51,327 --> 00:03:52,892
Ooh.

93
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:56,392
Wow.

94
00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:59,025
It's... it's-it's beautiful.

95
00:04:01,327 --> 00:04:03,258
Actually,
it's making me dizzy.

96
00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:05,958
Good, it's not just me.

97
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:12,291
Hello.

98
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,325
Hey, Claire.

99
00:04:13,327 --> 00:04:14,291
Hey, what's up?

100
00:04:14,293 --> 00:04:15,025
Hi, yeah.

101
00:04:15,027 --> 00:04:16,525
Um, I was wondering,

102
00:04:16,527 --> 00:04:18,692
if you're free Saturday night,

103
00:04:18,694 --> 00:04:20,991
all my friends are
going to a wine tasting.

104
00:04:20,993 --> 00:04:23,392
Sure, I guess.

105
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:26,058
If you don't think meeting
your friends is too big a step.

106
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,592
Why would it be too big a step?

107
00:04:28,594 --> 00:04:31,759
I don't know. I just don't
want things to get weird.

108
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:34,825
Nothing to worry about.

109
00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:36,258
People meet people all the time,

110
00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:37,725
and it isn't weird.

111
00:04:37,727 --> 00:04:40,258
I met Bon Jovi once, which
you'd think might be weird.

112
00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:43,225
Turns out, total sweetheart.

113
00:04:43,227 --> 00:04:47,392
Okay, but you and I have been
keeping things casual.

114
00:04:47,394 --> 00:04:49,425
Uh, will you introduce me
as your friend

115
00:04:49,427 --> 00:04:50,592
or as your girlfriend?

116
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,158
What if I like them

117
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,291
and they don't like me?

118
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,392
What if they like me
and I don't like them?

119
00:04:55,394 --> 00:04:58,225
Boy, it wasn't this hard
with Bon Jovi.

120
00:04:58,227 --> 00:05:00,258
I said, "You rock,"
he said, "Thanks, man,"

121
00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:03,125
and that was that.

122
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:11,858
Hey, you ready to go?

123
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:13,792
Hang on.
What are you doing?

124
00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:17,625
Oh, I found a scratch-and-sniff
book about wine tasting.

125
00:05:18,661 --> 00:05:20,792
It teaches the different
flavor notes to look for.

126
00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:22,392
You actually smell the wine?

127
00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,958
I mostly just smell
my nasal spray.

128
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,025
Are your sinuses acting up?

129
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,725
Since my preschool got a bunny.

130
00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:31,759
Hey, are you still hanging out
with Bernadette tonight?

131
00:05:31,761 --> 00:05:33,091
Yes.

132
00:05:33,093 --> 00:05:35,125
And we're going to prove
that we don't need alcohol

133
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,158
to enjoy ourselves.

134
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,492
Oh, good for you.

135
00:05:37,494 --> 00:05:39,425
Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi,

136
00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:42,091
soft cheese, processed meats
and Jacuzzis,

137
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:44,692
which can all be harmful
to an unborn baby.

138
00:05:44,694 --> 00:05:48,158
No HoneyBaked Ham
in a hot tub... got it.

139
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,492
Oh, no bubble baths either.

140
00:05:49,494 --> 00:05:51,625
They can increase the risk
of a urinary tract infection.

141
00:05:51,627 --> 00:05:52,891
Okay, have fun.

142
00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:55,792
Oh, and no swordfish, king
mackerel, shark or tilefish,

143
00:05:55,794 --> 00:05:57,325
which are all high in mercury.

144
00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:58,458
We're leaving now!

145
00:05:58,460 --> 00:05:59,659
Oh, and no contact with
guinea pigs

146
00:05:59,661 --> 00:06:00,958
or hamsters or their droppings,

147
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,258
uh, no-no cat litter boxes,
no paint fumes...

148
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,759
Okay, we're leaving,
love you, bye!

149
00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:10,625
Boy, do I love restrictions.

150
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:14,258
Hey.

151
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:15,291
Where is everybody?

152
00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:16,924
Oh, we're the first ones here.

153
00:06:16,926 --> 00:06:18,692
Oh.

154
00:06:18,694 --> 00:06:20,791
Cool.

155
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:22,558
Yeah.

156
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,991
Cool.

157
00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:31,791
You know, I don't
remember the last time

158
00:06:31,793 --> 00:06:33,558
it was just you and me
hanging out.

159
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,525
Oh, I do.
It was three years ago.

160
00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:39,958
Oh, yeah, and we said
we should do it more often.

161
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,692
And-and here we are.

162
00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:52,425
So, Sheldon and Bernadette
are hanging out.

163
00:06:52,427 --> 00:06:55,791
I know. What are they
gonna talk about?

164
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,358
I don't know.

165
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,725
I really don't know.

166
00:07:02,727 --> 00:07:03,659
Hey.

167
00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:05,225
Oh, good!
Oh, thank God!

168
00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:07,492
You guys been here long?

169
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,525
No, two minutes.

170
00:07:08,527 --> 00:07:11,325
But yes.

171
00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:12,358
Where's Claire?

172
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,791
Oh, she's meeting us here.

173
00:07:13,793 --> 00:07:16,058
Hey, guys, do me a favor
and don't ask too many questions

174
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,025
about the relationship.

175
00:07:17,027 --> 00:07:18,592
We're just keeping it casual.

176
00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:21,325
Oh, so I shouldn't ask her
how she feels about being

177
00:07:21,327 --> 00:07:23,492
a member of your harem?

178
00:07:23,494 --> 00:07:26,558
Yeah, I know you're teasing,
but watch out for karma.

179
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,291
Hey, Penny, isn't that
your old boyfriend Zack?

180
00:07:29,293 --> 00:07:31,358
Oh, yeah.

181
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,824
Are you gonna
say hi to him?

182
00:07:32,826 --> 00:07:33,958
Uh, I don't know.

183
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,958
Hey, while you decide,

184
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,225
who was better in bed:

185
00:07:36,227 --> 00:07:39,659
big hot Zack
or wheezy little Leonard?

186
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:44,791
Neener neener.

187
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,558
I brought sparkling cider.

188
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,758
Oh... the bubbles
tickle my nose.

189
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,191
I'll just open this now
so it can get

190
00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:55,791
nice and flat
before we drink it.

191
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:57,791
So what do you want
to do tonight?

192
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,025
Oh, I have quite
the evening planned.

193
00:08:00,027 --> 00:08:03,325
Our fetus-friendly
festival of fun begins

194
00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:04,625
with an in-depth look

195
00:08:04,627 --> 00:08:06,558
at the world of model trains,

196
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,858
and then we'll kick things
up a notch and explore

197
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,991
all the different ways
that you can make toast.

198
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:13,958
There's more than one?

199
00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:16,791
You've heard of French toast?
Yeah.

200
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,058
Cinnamon toast?
Yeah.

201
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:19,291
Melba toast?
Yeah.

202
00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:21,525
You get where I'm going here?

203
00:08:21,527 --> 00:08:24,025
Yeah.

204
00:08:26,127 --> 00:08:28,958
I'm getting
an earthy note.

205
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,891
Ah, there's
definitely some oak.

206
00:08:30,893 --> 00:08:33,158
Also, uh, cherries?

207
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,091
I smell nothing.

208
00:08:36,394 --> 00:08:38,658
Really? Nothing?

209
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:42,258
Just a... whole lot of Afrin.

210
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,991
Penny?

211
00:08:43,993 --> 00:08:45,225
Oh. Zack, hi!

212
00:08:45,227 --> 00:08:46,492
You guys remember Zack.

213
00:08:46,494 --> 00:08:47,625
Yeah, hey, buddy.
- Hello. - Hey.

214
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,492
Hey, did you two
get married?

215
00:08:49,494 --> 00:08:50,791
We did.
Yeah, mm-hmm.

216
00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:53,025
To each other?

217
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:55,724
Yes.

218
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:57,924
Cool. 'Cause other than
when you broke up with him

219
00:08:57,926 --> 00:08:59,624
and dated me, then
broke up with me,

220
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,558
and then dated me one more
time before going back to him,

221
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,525
I was always rooting
for you two.

222
00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:06,158
Thanks.

223
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,658
So how's the
science world?

224
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,091
What are you
guys up to?

225
00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:11,492
W-We've actually been
working on a prototype

226
00:09:11,494 --> 00:09:13,025
for a navigation
system we invented.

227
00:09:13,027 --> 00:09:14,824
But we won't bore you
with the details.

228
00:09:14,826 --> 00:09:16,991
Are you kidding?
I love science.

229
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:20,592
Einstein, Stephen Hawking,
Mike deGrasse Tyson.

230
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,592
Mike deGrasse Tyson?

231
00:09:23,593 --> 00:09:26,291
Yeah, you know,
the boxer who grew a mustache

232
00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,891
and became a scientist.

233
00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,158
So what's your
invention?

234
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,358
Well, we're using
quantum vortices

235
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,558
to replace gyroscopes
in guidance systems.

236
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,258
What's neat is
that they can maintain

237
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,924
angular momentum indefinitely.

238
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:41,125
Angular momentum.

239
00:09:41,127 --> 00:09:43,591
I was wondering about that.

240
00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:47,358
You could put it in a
satellite or a rocket,

241
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,125
and it'll run forever.

242
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:50,392
Cool.

243
00:09:50,394 --> 00:09:52,758
Could it be used for
missiles and war stuff?

244
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,991
Yeah, but we didn't
create it for weapons.

245
00:09:55,993 --> 00:09:57,991
And I doubt the military
would be interested

246
00:09:57,993 --> 00:09:59,358
in our little
guidance system.

247
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,958
Is it better than
the one they use now?

248
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,758
A lot!
Way better.

249
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,492
Huh.

250
00:10:05,494 --> 00:10:08,025
You sure you guys are smart?

251
00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:20,121
"H-O" gauge trains
are 1/87 scale.

252
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:23,321
"N" gauge are
1/160 scale.

253
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,988
And that brings us
to "Z" gauge, at a

254
00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:30,788
"you could easily swallow it,
don't ask how I know," 1/220.

255
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:32,954
I'm sorry, I have to ask.

256
00:10:32,956 --> 00:10:36,088
When I was five, I ingested
a "Z" gauge locomotive.

257
00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,521
I spent the next three days
saying, "I think I can pass it,

258
00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:42,255
I think I can pass it,
I think I can pass it."

259
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:46,488
What is it about trains
that you like so much?

260
00:10:46,490 --> 00:10:48,654
What an interesting
question.

261
00:10:48,656 --> 00:10:51,621
When I was a child,
life was confusing

262
00:10:51,623 --> 00:10:54,621
and chaotic for me, and
trains represented order.

263
00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:58,654
I could line them up,
categorize them, control them.

264
00:10:58,656 --> 00:11:00,155
I guess you
could say that

265
00:11:00,157 --> 00:11:03,587
they gave me a sense of calm
in a world that didn't.

266
00:11:03,589 --> 00:11:05,654
That's lovely, Sheldon.

267
00:11:05,656 --> 00:11:08,355
Well... other than when they're
chugging through your bowels,

268
00:11:08,357 --> 00:11:10,188
these things are magic.

269
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:15,155
I have to admit,
I've been worried about

270
00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:18,155
the military applications since
we started talking about this.

271
00:11:18,157 --> 00:11:19,521
Me, too.

272
00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:20,854
Why didn't you
say something?

273
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:23,288
Same reason I don't
talk about ass cancer.

274
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:26,255
It's not a
pleasant topic.

275
00:11:26,257 --> 00:11:27,821
You can't let this stop you.

276
00:11:27,823 --> 00:11:29,854
Almost any scientific
advancement can be used

277
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,554
for destructive purposes.

278
00:11:31,556 --> 00:11:33,587
It's true. Even Einstein's
theory of relativity

279
00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:36,255
was later applied to the
development of nuclear weapons.

280
00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:38,088
E equals MC squared.

281
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:39,455
Yeah.

282
00:11:39,456 --> 00:11:40,788
"E" is for energy,
"M" for mass,

283
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,221
and "C" for the speed of light.

284
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,954
How do you know that?

285
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:49,554
Oh, Leonard mumbles it when
he wants sex to last longer.

286
00:11:52,656 --> 00:11:53,621
Hey, Raj.

287
00:11:53,623 --> 00:11:55,687
Hey, Claire.
Good, you're here.

288
00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,554
Guys, this is
my friend Claire.

289
00:11:57,556 --> 00:11:59,754
We're casually dating,
and there's no need

290
00:11:59,756 --> 00:12:02,188
for any further questions
about it.

291
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,255
Would you like
a glass of wine?

292
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,021
I said no questions!

293
00:12:09,123 --> 00:12:11,355
And last
but not least,

294
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:15,355
this is one that I like to call
Star Wars Toast because...

295
00:12:15,357 --> 00:12:19,687
it has a light side
and a dark side.

296
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,687
All righty, it's time for
Dungeons & Dragons!

297
00:12:24,689 --> 00:12:27,055
Dungeons & Dragons.

298
00:12:27,057 --> 00:12:28,388
That sounds about right.

299
00:12:28,390 --> 00:12:30,921
You're gonna
enjoy this.

300
00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:33,654
I designed it
especially for you.

301
00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:35,288
Okay, but just for a little bit.

302
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:36,988
Oh, I have a feeling
that once you start,

303
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,788
you're not gonna want to
or be allowed to stop.

304
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:42,621
All right.

305
00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:43,621
Ready?

306
00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:45,388
You bet.

307
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,021
Your name is

308
00:12:47,023 --> 00:12:48,121
Bernatrix.

309
00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:49,421
You are a warrior queen.

310
00:12:49,423 --> 00:12:52,288
You're strong,
beautiful and tall.

311
00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:56,088
Oh. I like the idea
of being tall.

312
00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:58,521
I think you're gonna like
a lot of things I have in store.

313
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,121
For example, in this world,
only the men get pregnant,

314
00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:05,854
so your husband is home trying
not to pee when he laughs.

315
00:13:05,856 --> 00:13:07,821
This is getting fun.
What's next?

316
00:13:07,823 --> 00:13:09,988
You're parched and weary
from battle.

317
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:13,255
You stand in front of a tavern
that serves the coldest,

318
00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:15,554
most delicious ale
in all the realm.

319
00:13:15,556 --> 00:13:17,921
Oh, I haven't had
a drink in months.

320
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,654
What do you do?

321
00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:22,654
I storm in, slam my sword down,

322
00:13:22,656 --> 00:13:25,188
and say, "Barkeep, bring me
the strongest ale you have

323
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:27,521
and serve it in
the skull of a goblin!"

324
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:33,021
He wants to see I.D.

325
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:38,888
So, Claire, we've heard so many
wonderful things about you.

326
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:41,387
Really? Like what?

327
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,687
Uh, mostly Penny's
heard them.

328
00:13:47,523 --> 00:13:50,255
Boy, you get some
dirty looks over there

329
00:13:50,257 --> 00:13:52,288
when you ask for ice.

330
00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:55,654
Zack, this is
my friend Claire.

331
00:13:55,656 --> 00:13:58,155
You're hot. You seeing anybody?

332
00:13:58,157 --> 00:14:00,255
Uh, she's seeing me.

333
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:01,487
Why'd you say she's your friend?

334
00:14:01,489 --> 00:14:02,721
We're just
keeping it casual.

335
00:14:02,723 --> 00:14:04,954
Why is he being casual with you?
You seem great.

336
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:06,354
I don't know. Ask him.

337
00:14:06,356 --> 00:14:08,721
Why are you being casual
with her? She seems great.

338
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,021
Maybe we should
take a step back.

339
00:14:19,023 --> 00:14:20,554
Take a step back?

340
00:14:20,556 --> 00:14:22,654
I'm not a young man anymore.

341
00:14:24,057 --> 00:14:27,554
No, I mean reevaluate what we're
doing with the guidance system.

342
00:14:27,556 --> 00:14:30,121
But I got a baby
on the way.

343
00:14:30,123 --> 00:14:31,687
I got to make some money.

344
00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:33,221
What good is
money gonna do

345
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:34,921
if we inadvertently
bring about Armageddon?

346
00:14:34,923 --> 00:14:36,687
Okay, let me stop you
right there.

347
00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:37,921
We absolutely know

348
00:14:37,923 --> 00:14:41,021
our invention will not be used
to destroy the world.

349
00:14:41,023 --> 00:14:42,088
How?

350
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,454
Because no one from the future

351
00:14:43,456 --> 00:14:45,587
has come back to kill us.

352
00:14:47,423 --> 00:14:48,788
Very funny.

353
00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,221
You got something better?

354
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,554
Well, not really.

355
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,155
Okay, then.

356
00:14:58,456 --> 00:15:00,320
Geez, how much wine
did you drink?

357
00:15:00,322 --> 00:15:04,055
Not a lot. I just couldn't
start until you walked away.

358
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:10,121
The Hell Prawn lunges
out of the hot spring!

359
00:15:11,123 --> 00:15:13,421
You block it with your shield.

360
00:15:13,423 --> 00:15:14,421
Do you attack?

361
00:15:14,423 --> 00:15:15,554
Does it have eyes?

362
00:15:15,556 --> 00:15:18,088
Three giant red ones
and they never blink.

363
00:15:18,090 --> 00:15:19,721
It's unsettling.

364
00:15:19,723 --> 00:15:22,254
I stab it in the middle eye!

365
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,554
Good choice!

366
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,155
Critical hit!
Your sword goes

367
00:15:26,157 --> 00:15:28,320
through its eye
into its tiny brain.

368
00:15:28,322 --> 00:15:30,621
With its final dying gasp,
it says,

369
00:15:30,623 --> 00:15:32,155
"You have reduced me

370
00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:34,088
"to a pile of sushi.

371
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,754
"Enjoy me

372
00:15:35,756 --> 00:15:38,687
"with this packet of soy sauce.

373
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:41,354
It's low sodium."

374
00:15:43,057 --> 00:15:45,121
Okay, I guess I should
eat the Hell Prawn.

375
00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:46,088
Using your sword,

376
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:48,387
you prepare a beautiful
sushi dinner.

377
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:51,554
You slip into the hot spring
and enjoy the warm water

378
00:15:51,556 --> 00:15:52,687
on your aching joints.

379
00:15:52,689 --> 00:15:53,954
As you happily
close your eyes,

380
00:15:53,956 --> 00:15:56,254
you recall the incredible
evening you've had

381
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,687
and notice that your...

382
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:03,454
feet and ankles are
smaller than they've ever been.

383
00:16:03,456 --> 00:16:05,121
The end.

384
00:16:05,123 --> 00:16:08,888
Wow, this night turned out to be
so much more fun than I thought.

385
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:10,220
Oh, the fun doesn't stop.

386
00:16:10,222 --> 00:16:12,687
You're still going home
with a goodie bag full of toast.

387
00:16:15,956 --> 00:16:17,654
Thank you for this.

388
00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:20,354
You know, ever since people
found out I'm having a baby,

389
00:16:20,356 --> 00:16:23,155
I feel like I became
Pregnant Bernadette.

390
00:16:23,157 --> 00:16:25,287
It was nice to take
a little break tonight.

391
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:27,421
I can understand that.

392
00:16:27,423 --> 00:16:29,788
From the moment
people realized I was a genius,

393
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,587
I've been Sheldon the Genius.

394
00:16:33,489 --> 00:16:35,320
Although I've never really
wanted a break from that,

395
00:16:35,322 --> 00:16:36,954
so I suppose I don't understand.

396
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:38,687
Which is ironic

397
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,687
'cause, you know, genius.

398
00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:44,687
Well, thanks again.

399
00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:45,788
You're welcome.

400
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,220
And any time you need a break

401
00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:48,621
from being
Bernadette the Pregnant,

402
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:50,821
Bernatrix the Warrior Queen
is here waiting.

403
00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:52,788
I might just take
you up on that.

404
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:54,121
Well, mind you now,

405
00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:56,554
that offer's only good
until the third trimester.

406
00:16:56,556 --> 00:17:00,287
I can't risk getting
amniotic fluid on my spot.

407
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,821
Hey, dude, you're
killing me with Claire.

408
00:17:05,823 --> 00:17:06,888
What are you talking about?

409
00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:09,454
I mean,
come on, look at you.

410
00:17:09,456 --> 00:17:12,487
You're classically handsome,
you've got a swimmer's body.

411
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:15,687
Next to you,
I look like me.

412
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:18,754
Oh, man,
I didn't mean to do that.

413
00:17:18,756 --> 00:17:21,788
But I do appreciate you
recognizing my swimmer's body.

414
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,021
Which, incidentally,

415
00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:27,088
I got from playing
Marco Polo at the YMCA:

416
00:17:29,122 --> 00:17:31,854
Yeah, okay, just...
do me a favor

417
00:17:31,856 --> 00:17:34,654
and stop talking about
how great Claire is.

418
00:17:34,656 --> 00:17:37,821
Anything for you,
my little foreign friend.

419
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,454
So, I got to ask,

420
00:17:40,456 --> 00:17:42,521
does Raj bring around
other girls?

421
00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:44,888
Uh, you know,

422
00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:47,088
I-I'm not really
around that much.

423
00:17:47,089 --> 00:17:49,120
Amy knows much more
than I do.

424
00:17:50,523 --> 00:17:52,254
I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

425
00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:54,921
Raj is a terrific guy,
loyal to a fault.

426
00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:58,087
Yeah. He still has
an AOL address.

427
00:17:59,456 --> 00:18:00,988
I see what you're saying.

428
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:03,988
She's not so great.

429
00:18:07,823 --> 00:18:09,721
Don't listen to him.

430
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:11,587
He says crazy things
all the time.

431
00:18:11,589 --> 00:18:12,587
Uh, watch. Marco.

432
00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:14,320
Polo!

433
00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:19,354
So, uh, what are
you guys talking about?

434
00:18:19,356 --> 00:18:21,320
Your friends were
just telling me about

435
00:18:21,322 --> 00:18:22,921
all the other girls
you're dating.

436
00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:25,354
Why would you do that?

437
00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:28,021
I specifically asked you
not to do that.

438
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,287
We didn't.

439
00:18:29,289 --> 00:18:30,554
You just did.

440
00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:36,587
Wow. Maybe none of
you guys are smart.

441
00:18:46,787 --> 00:18:48,851
Morning.

442
00:18:48,853 --> 00:18:50,050
Morning.

443
00:18:50,052 --> 00:18:52,082
Ugh. Too much wine.

444
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:53,348
Oh, I overdid it

445
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,648
myself last night.

446
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,281
Hair of the dog.

447
00:18:57,884 --> 00:19:01,014
Hey, did you ever think about
the military applications

448
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,582
for the guidance system?

449
00:19:02,584 --> 00:19:04,348
Of course.

450
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:05,682
Does it bother you?

451
00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,315
No, it did at first,

452
00:19:08,317 --> 00:19:11,882
but then I talked it through
with Frank and Alicia, and...

453
00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:17,849
they really helped
put things into perspective.

454
00:19:17,851 --> 00:19:20,682
Who are these people?

455
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:25,615
Leonard, friends are
like toilet paper.

456
00:19:25,617 --> 00:19:28,582
It's good to have extras
under the sink.

457
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:39,683
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man