1
00:00:01,341 --> 00:00:02,574
Helium.

2
00:00:02,576 --> 00:00:04,412
Yes.
Yes.

3
00:00:05,616 --> 00:00:06,382
Taylor Swift.

4
00:00:06,384 --> 00:00:07,518
Yes.

5
00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:09,844
Pi.

6
00:00:09,845 --> 00:00:11,193
Yes.

7
00:00:17,373 --> 00:00:18,473
Kardashian.

8
00:00:18,475 --> 00:00:20,243
More specific.

9
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,117
Khloe?

10
00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:25,454
Yes!

11
00:00:25,456 --> 00:00:26,489
See, I remembered

12
00:00:26,491 --> 00:00:28,226
because if it looks
like Kim it's Kim,

13
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,795
if it looks kind of
like Kim it's Kourtney,

14
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,499
and if it looks nothing
like Kim it's Khloe.

15
00:00:31,501 --> 00:00:32,701
Oh.

16
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:33,903
Oh,

17
00:00:33,905 --> 00:00:35,941
that's a Venn Diagram,
and I remember because

18
00:00:35,943 --> 00:00:37,277
I thought to myself,

19
00:00:37,279 --> 00:00:39,281
"Venn is he gonna stop
talking about this diagram?"

20
00:00:41,354 --> 00:00:42,955
What are you guys doing?
Oh, well,

21
00:00:42,957 --> 00:00:44,859
we decided to use
our breakfast time

22
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:47,498
to expand our respective
knowledge bases.

23
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,733
Oh, let me try.

24
00:00:48,735 --> 00:00:50,804
Okay.

25
00:00:50,806 --> 00:00:54,478
Hmm, atom of hydrogen,
Adam of Maroon 5, mic drop.

26
00:00:57,386 --> 00:00:59,488
I'm sorry,
who is Mike Drop?

27
00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:02,995
Oh, hey, Penny, do you want
to go to the airport

28
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:04,331
with me later
to pick up my mother?

29
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:05,367
Sure.
Thanks.

30
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,802
No problem.
Hey, Penny,

31
00:01:06,804 --> 00:01:08,473
um, since you're already
gonna be at the airport,

32
00:01:08,475 --> 00:01:09,642
do I need to go?

33
00:01:11,013 --> 00:01:13,516
Why don't you want to get
your mother from the airport?

34
00:01:13,518 --> 00:01:15,387
Well, I can do without
the 40-minute car ride

35
00:01:15,389 --> 00:01:17,491
where she criticizes
every aspect of my life.

36
00:01:17,493 --> 00:01:20,997
She can cover it
in a car ride?

37
00:01:20,999 --> 00:01:23,903
I could do 40 minutes
on your posture alone.

38
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,107
You really want me to pick up

39
00:01:26,109 --> 00:01:27,109
your mother all by myself?

40
00:01:27,111 --> 00:01:28,846
Hmm, I just feel like

41
00:01:28,848 --> 00:01:30,584
it would be a good chance
for you to bond.

42
00:01:30,586 --> 00:01:32,187
Or a way for you to avoid her?

43
00:01:32,189 --> 00:01:34,491
I don't know what
he's putting on those cards,

44
00:01:34,493 --> 00:01:36,796
but you are smarter than ever.

45
00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:39,969
Fine, if you really want me to,
I will pick your mom up.

46
00:01:39,971 --> 00:01:41,071
Seriously?

47
00:01:41,073 --> 00:01:42,674
Yeah, you know what,
she is my mother-in-law,

48
00:01:42,676 --> 00:01:44,745
and I'd like for us
to have a good relationship.

49
00:01:44,747 --> 00:01:46,682
That is very mature of you,

50
00:01:46,684 --> 00:01:49,521
so I'm gonna go ahead
and say, "Suckah."

51
00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:52,294
All right, back to learning.
Okay.

52
00:01:53,898 --> 00:01:55,967
Oh, easy, Bill Nye
the Science Guy.

53
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:57,204
Or as I know him...

54
00:01:57,206 --> 00:01:59,875
"Creepy old dude
from Dancing with the Stars."

55
00:01:59,877 --> 00:02:01,345
Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding!

56
00:02:25,748 --> 00:02:30,353
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

57
00:02:30,789 --> 00:02:33,393
Did you guys see there's
an Avengers screening?

58
00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:35,218
Joss Whedon's gonna show
some deleted scenes

59
00:02:35,219 --> 00:02:36,986
and do a question
and answer session.

60
00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:38,923
Oh, well, I have
a few questions for him

61
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:42,631
about the last Avengers movie...
and a whole lot of answers.

62
00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:45,337
When's the screening?

63
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,341
Uh, it's tonight, but it's
first-come, first-served,

64
00:02:47,343 --> 00:02:49,311
so we should probably get
there early and wait in line.

65
00:02:49,313 --> 00:02:51,282
Let's do it.

66
00:02:51,284 --> 00:02:52,851
Penny's busy with my mother,
so I'm in.

67
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:54,488
Oh, bad news.

68
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:56,559
Amy's making me go shopping
with her later,

69
00:02:56,561 --> 00:02:58,963
so looks like none of us can go.

70
00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:04,107
You do realize we're allowed
to have fun without you?

71
00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:06,679
In fact, that's usually
the trick to it.

72
00:03:08,351 --> 00:03:10,119
What time do we
need to get there?

73
00:03:10,121 --> 00:03:11,722
Uh, I'd say by 3:00.

74
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:13,526
You're really going without me?

75
00:03:13,528 --> 00:03:14,528
It's not a big deal.

76
00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:15,831
Go shopping with Amy,

77
00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:17,234
and we'll save
a spot in line for you.

78
00:03:17,236 --> 00:03:20,307
You don't have the authority
to save places in the line.

79
00:03:20,309 --> 00:03:21,609
If I do that, I'll be cutting.

80
00:03:21,611 --> 00:03:23,446
People do it all the time.

81
00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:25,015
You know the golden rule
of line etiquette:

82
00:03:25,017 --> 00:03:27,488
"No cuts, no buts,
no coconuts."

83
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,492
If you really
care that much,

84
00:03:29,494 --> 00:03:32,197
there are apps now that'll let
you hire people to do stuff

85
00:03:32,199 --> 00:03:34,368
like errands and
wait in lines.

86
00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:37,541
People are actually
waiting in lines as a job?

87
00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:41,949
Boy, makes me feel better
about my life.

88
00:03:41,951 --> 00:03:43,953
Some of these guys make
over $20 an hour.

89
00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:46,259
And now I feel worse again.

90
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:51,869
I'm not surprised Leonard
chose to avoid picking me up.

91
00:03:51,871 --> 00:03:55,877
He's battled intimacy issues
his whole life.

92
00:03:55,879 --> 00:03:59,418
Does he have difficulty
maintaining erections?

93
00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:01,756
Wow.

94
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:03,726
Didn't even make it
out of the parking lot.

95
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,232
Uh, you know what,
enough about Leonard.

96
00:04:06,234 --> 00:04:07,501
Let's talk about you.

97
00:04:07,503 --> 00:04:09,271
What would you like to
do while you're here?

98
00:04:09,273 --> 00:04:11,175
Dear, I'm a psychiatrist.

99
00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:14,181
You don't have to avoid having
intimate conversations with me.

100
00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:17,588
Well, I'd actually like
for us to be close,

101
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,558
but maybe we start
with our favorite books

102
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,164
and work our way up
to my husband's sex organs.

103
00:04:24,069 --> 00:04:25,370
Very well.

104
00:04:25,372 --> 00:04:26,539
What's the last book
you read?

105
00:04:26,541 --> 00:04:30,247
Um, does Pottery Barn,
Spring count?

106
00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:35,323
Penny, it's only natural to want
your mother-in-law to like you,

107
00:04:35,325 --> 00:04:38,496
and I acknowledge I can be
an intimidating person.

108
00:04:38,498 --> 00:04:42,237
So what can I do to make
this process easier for you?

109
00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,539
Uh, for starters,

110
00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:45,677
maybe you can not psychoanalyze
everything I say?

111
00:04:45,679 --> 00:04:48,015
And how does it
make you feel

112
00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:51,087
when I psychoanalyze
everything you say?

113
00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:53,459
Uncomfortable.

114
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,728
That was a joke, dear.

115
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,299
Oh. Sorry.

116
00:04:56,301 --> 00:04:58,101
Didn't know you made those.

117
00:04:59,807 --> 00:05:01,542
Hey, listen, what
if we have a little

118
00:05:01,544 --> 00:05:04,548
mother-in-law-daughter-in-law
dinner tonight?

119
00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:06,585
So just the two of us?

120
00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:09,123
Or I invite a few girlfriends,

121
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,527
'cause hearing you say
"the two of us"

122
00:05:10,529 --> 00:05:12,798
just sent a chill
right down my spine.

123
00:05:17,309 --> 00:05:19,311
Hey.

124
00:05:19,313 --> 00:05:20,747
What are you doing here?

125
00:05:20,749 --> 00:05:21,749
You're not Sheldon.

126
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:24,621
I thought that might come up.

127
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,761
Sheldon hired me to go
shopping with you.

128
00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,665
Hold on.

129
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:32,704
He paid you to get out
of spending time with me?

130
00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:35,008
No, it's not like that.

131
00:05:35,010 --> 00:05:37,781
There's a long line
he'd rather stand in.

132
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,121
So what are we doing?
Old Navy, Build-A-Bear?

133
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,724
I get paid either way.

134
00:05:44,797 --> 00:05:46,832
We're not going
shopping together.

135
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,836
You sure?
I'm happy to hold your bag.

136
00:05:48,838 --> 00:05:51,776
And Sheldon gave me money
for a hotdog on a stick.

137
00:05:53,314 --> 00:05:55,717
Can you understand why
I might be annoyed right now?

138
00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:59,725
Look, lady,
I just work here.

139
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:06,037
We've waited in a lot of
lines together, haven't we?

140
00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:07,607
Remember when we camped out

141
00:06:07,609 --> 00:06:09,278
for the Doctor Who panel
at Comic-Con?

142
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,282
Yeah, sleeping under the
stars with other fans

143
00:06:11,284 --> 00:06:12,984
who love the show
as much as we do.

144
00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:16,225
Waking up, wondering which one
of those fans stole our wallets.

145
00:06:17,229 --> 00:06:19,965
Stuart,
what are you doing here?

146
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,936
Sheldon, you are the most
inconsiderate person

147
00:06:21,938 --> 00:06:24,842
I have ever met
in my entire life!

148
00:06:26,046 --> 00:06:27,547
Where do you get off sending me

149
00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:29,751
to shop with your girlfriend?

150
00:06:29,753 --> 00:06:31,054
I don't understand.

151
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,557
You were happy to do this
when I hired you.

152
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,161
Why-why are you
upset with me now?

153
00:06:34,163 --> 00:06:37,501
Oh, I'm not upset with you, but
Amy's pretty bent out of shape,

154
00:06:37,503 --> 00:06:41,809
so she hired me
to let you have it.

155
00:06:43,414 --> 00:06:45,583
Well, I suppose
turnabout is fair play.

156
00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:48,523
You're darn right it's fair
play, you selfish jerk!

157
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:53,900
You know, just when I think

158
00:06:53,902 --> 00:06:55,436
we're making progress
in our relationship,

159
00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:57,072
we revert to our old patterns

160
00:06:57,074 --> 00:06:58,776
where thoughts and feelings
go unexpressed.

161
00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:00,446
I mean, if he didn't want
to go shopping with me,

162
00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:01,916
why didn't he just say so?

163
00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:05,823
Maybe he couldn't get
a word in edgewise.

164
00:07:08,464 --> 00:07:10,500
I'm sorry, I've been
going on and on.

165
00:07:10,502 --> 00:07:12,137
Oh, it's all right, dear.

166
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:15,108
Sheldon has a brilliant
and complicated mind.

167
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:18,149
It's understandable that being
in a relationship with him

168
00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:19,384
could be trying.

169
00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:20,820
I called him "babe" once.

170
00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:23,626
He asked me to get a drug test.

171
00:07:25,198 --> 00:07:27,099
Well, I do admire your resolve.

172
00:07:27,101 --> 00:07:29,738
You're an extraordinary woman.
Thank you.

173
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,109
You know, she's
my mother-in-law.

174
00:07:32,111 --> 00:07:33,846
Why can't I bond
with her like that?

175
00:07:33,848 --> 00:07:37,253
Amy's with Sheldon
who she loves like a son.

176
00:07:37,255 --> 00:07:39,090
You're with her son...

177
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,862
who she doesn't.

178
00:07:41,864 --> 00:07:44,901
Do you realize it took me five
years to get a massage from him?

179
00:07:44,903 --> 00:07:48,576
Oh, well, that still could be
a big step for Sheldon.

180
00:07:48,578 --> 00:07:50,580
Three minutes.

181
00:07:50,582 --> 00:07:53,586
And he used a kitchen timer.

182
00:07:53,588 --> 00:07:56,024
I felt like a soft-boiled egg.

183
00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,531
You know, being in a
relationship with Leonard

184
00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:01,669
also comes
with its challenges.

185
00:08:01,671 --> 00:08:03,004
Yes.

186
00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:06,378
Well, what can you do?

187
00:08:09,853 --> 00:08:11,922
Maybe it's Sheldon,
here to say he's sorry.

188
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,761
Sheldon says he's sorry.

189
00:08:17,736 --> 00:08:20,005
Bernadette, I'll give you
five dollars to slam the door.

190
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:21,608
I would have done
it for three.

191
00:08:31,435 --> 00:08:34,071
Boy, all this standing's
making me tired.

192
00:08:34,073 --> 00:08:37,945
Good thing I brought
my collapsible stick chair.

193
00:08:37,947 --> 00:08:40,551
Not the stick chair.

194
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,321
You look like an idiot
on that thing.

195
00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,692
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,

196
00:08:44,694 --> 00:08:47,598
but chairs on sticks
are comfy.

197
00:08:48,469 --> 00:08:50,204
Hey.
Hey.

198
00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:52,375
Is everything
smoothed out with Amy?

199
00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:54,245
Uh, no, she's still pretty mad.

200
00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:57,585
Did you make the apology
as sincere as I would have?

201
00:08:57,587 --> 00:09:00,224
I said,
"Sheldon says he's sorry."

202
00:09:00,226 --> 00:09:03,130
Oh, well, that's
laying it on a little thick.

203
00:09:05,068 --> 00:09:07,805
You think it's time you
apologize to her yourself?

204
00:09:07,807 --> 00:09:09,375
I suppose so.

205
00:09:09,377 --> 00:09:11,268
But if I get out of the line,
I'll lose my spot.

206
00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:13,871
I'm happy to hold your place
till you get back.

207
00:09:13,873 --> 00:09:15,175
You would do that?

208
00:09:15,177 --> 00:09:17,546
Consider it my way
of getting more of your money.

209
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,420
You're a good man.

210
00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,193
So, Beverly,
did you know Penny

211
00:09:24,195 --> 00:09:25,862
is the number
three sales rep

212
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,466
at our pharmaceutical company?

213
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,503
Oh, I didn't realize
you two work together.

214
00:09:29,505 --> 00:09:30,839
Well, we don't exactly.

215
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,976
I'm a microbiologist
for the research team.

216
00:09:32,978 --> 00:09:34,480
Oh, what are you
currently developing?

217
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,517
Some exciting new
anti-anxiety drugs.

218
00:09:36,519 --> 00:09:37,819
That's interesting.

219
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:40,925
I just attended a lecture
on pediatric anxiety.

220
00:09:40,927 --> 00:09:43,431
Oh, was it, uh,
Dr. Jenofski?

221
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:44,500
I just saw
his TED Talk!

222
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:45,735
It was.

223
00:09:45,737 --> 00:09:47,372
Let's get back to Penny.

224
00:09:47,374 --> 00:09:48,674
Hey, weren't you telling me

225
00:09:48,676 --> 00:09:50,211
something great
about your company car?

226
00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:51,680
Um...

227
00:09:53,753 --> 00:09:57,392
It has seat warmers.

228
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,333
Amy! Amy!

229
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,036
Amy!
Come in.

230
00:10:03,038 --> 00:10:04,673
Hello, everyone.

231
00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:06,076
Oh, Beverly, good to see you!

232
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:07,846
I'd love to chat,
but there's a line

233
00:10:07,848 --> 00:10:09,716
that could start moving
any minute, so let's do this.

234
00:10:09,718 --> 00:10:10,852
Amy?

235
00:10:10,854 --> 00:10:12,789
A proper apology
requires three steps.

236
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:14,993
Step one...
an admission of wrongdoing.

237
00:10:14,995 --> 00:10:16,931
Amy, I was wrong.
Step two...

238
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:19,068
a promise never
to repeat said action.

239
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,774
Amy, that action will never be
repeated, and that's a promise.

240
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:24,279
Step three... an earnest request
for forgiveness.

241
00:10:24,281 --> 00:10:25,548
Amy, I hope you can forgive me.

242
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:26,817
And I hope you
do it right now,

243
00:10:26,819 --> 00:10:28,187
'cause there's an Uber
waiting downstairs,

244
00:10:28,189 --> 00:10:29,823
and I don't want to repeat
this apology nonsense

245
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:31,961
with my driver Ganesh.

246
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,502
Fine.

247
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,104
Oh, thanks!
You're a peach!

248
00:10:37,106 --> 00:10:38,307
Beverly, we'll
catch up soon.

249
00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:39,610
Bernadette, it was
a pleasure as always,

250
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:41,180
Penny, you have
spinach in your teeth.

251
00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:46,524
How long have I had spinach
in my teeth?

252
00:10:46,526 --> 00:10:47,993
Since the airport, dear.

253
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:55,040
You look like you come
with a kickstand.

254
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:57,345
You can't make me feel bad.

255
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:59,650
Hmm, maybe not. Leonard?

256
00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:02,522
So, when the aliens
brought you back,

257
00:11:02,524 --> 00:11:04,893
they just left the probe in?

258
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:07,799
I'm back.

259
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,770
Hey, how'd it go?
It went well.

260
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,607
Yeah, I've learned that
if you never say you're sorry,

261
00:11:11,609 --> 00:11:15,215
the times you do really
puts them on their heels.

262
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,786
Uh, Stuart, I relieve you
of your line duties.

263
00:11:17,788 --> 00:11:20,090
Anyone else need
anything before I go?

264
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:23,096
I'll give you a dollar
if make fun of Raj.

265
00:11:23,098 --> 00:11:25,568
That's mean.
Five.

266
00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:28,140
You look like Tigger
if Tigger looked like a jackass.

267
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,215
Uh, if you ever need
a reference or anything,

268
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:34,286
just let me know.

269
00:11:34,288 --> 00:11:35,888
Hey, guys.

270
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:37,091
You made it.

271
00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:39,296
Did you see that?

272
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,467
He just cut the line.

273
00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:43,069
He's just joining
his friends; it's fine.

274
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:44,640
No, it's not fine.

275
00:11:44,642 --> 00:11:46,944
It is a breach
of line etiquette.

276
00:11:46,946 --> 00:11:48,414
We're near the front
of the line.

277
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,816
We'll get in either way.

278
00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:51,720
What if every person in front
of us lets someone cut?

279
00:11:51,722 --> 00:11:52,261
We'd still get in.

280
00:11:52,265 --> 00:11:54,226
What if each of those people
let someone cut?

281
00:11:54,228 --> 00:11:54,911
Still get in.

282
00:11:54,935 --> 00:11:56,398
But then each of those
people let someone cut?

283
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:58,334
We'd still get in,
but first I'd hit you

284
00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:00,638
over the head
with his stick chair.

285
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,346
Excuse me.
Oh, please don't.

286
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,583
Uh, uh, I couldn't
help but notice

287
00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,321
that you cut the line.

288
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:09,589
Oh, uh, I'm with my friends.

289
00:12:09,591 --> 00:12:10,591
It's cool.

290
00:12:10,593 --> 00:12:11,794
Well, no.

291
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,331
It's not cool.

292
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,668
If there were
reserved seating,

293
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:17,572
and we all had tickets,
that would be fine.

294
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:19,008
But this line is
first-come, first-served.

295
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:21,413
Not "show up tardy and
nevertheless be first served".

296
00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:22,682
Right here.

297
00:12:22,684 --> 00:12:24,886
No.

298
00:12:26,659 --> 00:12:28,294
You need to go to
the back of the line.

299
00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,133
Uh, who made you line monitor?

300
00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:34,105
Mrs. Wunch in fourth grade.

301
00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:36,777
And my slogan was
"a line that's straight

302
00:12:36,779 --> 00:12:38,948
is a line that's great"

303
00:12:40,119 --> 00:12:41,687
Is this guy for real?

304
00:12:41,689 --> 00:12:45,361
Boy, I wish
I could say no.

305
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,403
That was very nice
of Sheldon to apologize.

306
00:12:49,405 --> 00:12:51,507
Well, he's come a long way.

307
00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:54,111
Or a short way very slowly,

308
00:12:54,113 --> 00:12:57,552
so it feels like a long way.

309
00:12:57,554 --> 00:13:00,258
Your relationship
with him is fascinating.

310
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:03,197
I'm preparing to write a book
on high-achieving couples,

311
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,134
and I would love to
interview the both of you.

312
00:13:05,136 --> 00:13:06,537
Oh, sure.

313
00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:08,340
I'll-I'll talk
to Sheldon about it.

314
00:13:08,342 --> 00:13:10,411
You know, Bernadette's husband
is a former astronaut.

315
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:12,182
Really?

316
00:13:12,184 --> 00:13:13,284
Do you think
he would be interested

317
00:13:13,286 --> 00:13:14,519
in being interviewed
as well?

318
00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:16,055
Do I think he'd be interested?

319
00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:17,959
Sometimes I hear him
pretending to be interviewed

320
00:13:17,961 --> 00:13:19,930
when he's alone
in the bathroom.

321
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,934
Wonderful!

322
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,206
I'll give you
my contact information.

323
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:28,414
Um, you should probably
talk to Penny, too.

324
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,687
About what?

325
00:13:32,624 --> 00:13:33,657
Okay, you know what?

326
00:13:33,659 --> 00:13:35,261
This is ridiculous.

327
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:36,396
I've been trying to make

328
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,532
a connection with you all day,

329
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:38,801
and clearly I'm getting nowhere.

330
00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,905
Well, are you
seeking a connection

331
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,544
or just some form of validation?

332
00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:46,183
What I was seeking was
some sort of friendship.

333
00:13:46,185 --> 00:13:48,754
But at this point, I'll take you
not insulting me to my face.

334
00:13:48,756 --> 00:13:51,092
My intention was never
to insult you.

335
00:13:51,094 --> 00:13:52,462
You've been doing it all day!

336
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:54,165
Do you even know
what an insult is?

337
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,136
Well, it's not a clinical term.

338
00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,841
But one example would be
your marrying my son,

339
00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,545
and not inviting me
or even telling me

340
00:14:00,547 --> 00:14:02,348
the wedding was taking place.

341
00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:07,358
Okay, good example.

342
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:13,971
What about Joss Whedon's work
makes you think he'd be okay

343
00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:16,008
with rule-breakers
and line-cutters?

344
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:17,812
The Avengers are rule-breakers!

345
00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:20,885
Being vengeful is in
their job description!

346
00:14:20,887 --> 00:14:23,657
They work for SHIELD:

347
00:14:23,659 --> 00:14:25,895
which is a sanctioned department
of the U.S. Government!

348
00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:27,565
Do you work for a
sanctioned department

349
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,302
of the U.S. Government?

350
00:14:29,304 --> 00:14:30,738
As a matter of fact I do.

351
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:34,346
At a little place
called the DMV.

352
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,883
He's got him there.

353
00:14:36,885 --> 00:14:40,491
The D even stands
for department.

354
00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:41,693
Excuse me!

355
00:14:41,695 --> 00:14:42,795
Excuse me,
can I please

356
00:14:42,797 --> 00:14:44,199
see a show of hands?

357
00:14:44,201 --> 00:14:46,837
Who here takes issue with
this person cutting the line?

358
00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:51,078
Told you.

359
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,350
Well, what a sad
state of affairs!

360
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,221
That you've all been
so ground down

361
00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:57,859
by life, you don't even notice
when someone disrespects you.

362
00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,496
I can't believe
we're gonna get beat up,

363
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:03,069
and it's not
because of your chair.

364
00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:05,374
You know, right now,
at the back of this line,

365
00:15:05,376 --> 00:15:07,044
there's a movie fan
like you

366
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,480
who's not going to get in,

367
00:15:08,482 --> 00:15:10,851
because this person
simply doesn't care.

368
00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:12,321
Yeah, well, 61 years ago,

369
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:14,459
there was another person
at the back of the line

370
00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:16,763
and her name
was Rosa Parks.

371
00:15:19,838 --> 00:15:22,074
Okay, you may have
to pretend you're black

372
00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:25,314
to get us out of here.

373
00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,785
Now, let's follow in that
brave woman's footsteps,

374
00:15:27,787 --> 00:15:30,090
and stand up for ourselves!

375
00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:32,595
And-and I realize that she
stood up by remaining seated,

376
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:34,933
but now is not that time
to enjoy the irony of that.

377
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,503
Now, I ask you again.

378
00:15:36,505 --> 00:15:38,674
Who here takes issue
with this person...?

379
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,811
Why should we listen to you?
You cut the line yourself.

380
00:15:40,813 --> 00:15:43,116
I most certainly did not.

381
00:15:43,118 --> 00:15:44,886
I saw you.

382
00:15:44,888 --> 00:15:47,225
If you're feeling dizzy,

383
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,929
it's because the tables
have turned.

384
00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:55,106
Excuse me, I paid someone
to wait in line for me,

385
00:15:55,108 --> 00:15:56,777
and then
when I arrived,

386
00:15:56,779 --> 00:15:58,580
he left, so what you
saw, my good woman,

387
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,118
was "swapsies",
not "cutsies".

388
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,455
Oh, no, no, no, no, wait!

389
00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:03,924
I ask you all again.
A show of hands.

390
00:16:03,926 --> 00:16:05,795
Who here takes issue...?
Well, stop moving!

391
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:06,763
He's gonna get in!

392
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,032
Buddy, let it go.
No, I can't.

393
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,169
This isn't right.

394
00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:10,237
You did everything you could.

395
00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:12,809
No, I could've done more.

396
00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:15,314
Now, now, you
denigrated the memory

397
00:16:15,316 --> 00:16:16,983
of a great civil
rights pioneer.

398
00:16:16,985 --> 00:16:18,420
That's all anyone could ask.

399
00:16:21,461 --> 00:16:25,467
To be honest, I'm surprised you
cared about the wedding at all.

400
00:16:25,469 --> 00:16:27,405
I'm still human, Penny.

401
00:16:27,407 --> 00:16:29,375
Not getting invited
to my own son's wedding

402
00:16:29,377 --> 00:16:31,313
is difficult to ignore.

403
00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:32,715
I know how you feel.

404
00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:34,619
She didn't invite any of us.

405
00:16:34,621 --> 00:16:36,323
It was spur of the moment!

406
00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:39,195
But we did get to see a live
stream of it on the Internet.

407
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:41,733
I could've watched it
on the Internet?

408
00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:45,941
Thank you.

409
00:16:47,112 --> 00:16:49,782
So if we would have asked you
to come to Vegas

410
00:16:49,784 --> 00:16:52,154
to see us get married,
you would've come?

411
00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:55,126
No, I would've said
you're making a huge mistake.

412
00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:58,065
But an invitation
would've been nice.

413
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:01,840
You really think
we made a mistake?

414
00:17:01,842 --> 00:17:03,477
At the time I did.

415
00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:05,848
But I-I've never seen
Leonard so happy,

416
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,620
so... perhaps I was wrong.

417
00:17:08,622 --> 00:17:10,724
Wow.

418
00:17:10,726 --> 00:17:12,728
Okay.

419
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:14,632
Well, um, how about this?

420
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,136
Maybe while
you're still in town,

421
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:19,041
Leonard and I could have
another small ceremony.

422
00:17:19,043 --> 00:17:21,279
You know, if you're interested.

423
00:17:21,281 --> 00:17:24,886
I would find that
perfectly acceptable.

424
00:17:24,888 --> 00:17:26,790
She would find it

425
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:28,193
perfectly acceptable!

426
00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:30,397
You guys saw it! We bonded!

427
00:17:42,031 --> 00:17:43,299
Howie?

428
00:17:43,301 --> 00:17:45,336
You doing okay?
You've been in there a while.

429
00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:47,574
I'm fine. Be right out.

430
00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:52,684
Am I an American hero?

431
00:17:54,256 --> 00:17:57,092
Well, that's
a good question, Jim.

432
00:17:57,094 --> 00:18:01,000
Don't you think once
an astronaut leaves the planet,

433
00:18:01,002 --> 00:18:04,374
he's a hero to all the nations
of the Earth?

434
00:18:07,849 --> 00:18:09,551
Okey dokey.

435
00:18:09,553 --> 00:18:11,196
I think I have time
for one more question.

436
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:19,266
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man