1
00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:03,247
Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks

2
00:00:03,249 --> 00:00:05,746
to make somebody who
cut the line feel bad,

3
00:00:05,748 --> 00:00:10,147
but only the
white people felt bad.

4
00:00:10,149 --> 00:00:12,347
Ugh, I should've never bought
him that coloring book

5
00:00:12,349 --> 00:00:15,113
that explains
Black History Month.

6
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,546
How'd it go with my mother?

7
00:00:16,548 --> 00:00:18,579
Uh, you know,
it started a little rocky,

8
00:00:18,581 --> 00:00:20,480
but I think we got
to a good place.

9
00:00:20,482 --> 00:00:21,513
Wow.

10
00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:22,780
Well done.

11
00:00:22,782 --> 00:00:23,980
Yeah, and when I dropped her off
at the hotel,

12
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:24,980
she even gave me a hug.

13
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:28,480
Did she think
you were choking or...

14
00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:29,913
I'm sorry, that's great.

15
00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:31,646
Thank you for
spending time with her.

16
00:00:31,648 --> 00:00:33,113
No problem.

17
00:00:33,115 --> 00:00:34,579
Um, so listen,

18
00:00:34,581 --> 00:00:37,380
I don't know if you have
any plans next weekend,

19
00:00:37,382 --> 00:00:39,180
but I kind of promised your mom

20
00:00:39,182 --> 00:00:40,679
we'd have another
wedding ceremony

21
00:00:40,681 --> 00:00:42,780
so she could attend this time.

22
00:00:42,782 --> 00:00:45,846
Wait, we're gonna
get married again?

23
00:00:45,848 --> 00:00:48,947
Yeah, kind of, but now we can
invite our friends and family.

24
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,646
Seems like a lot
of trouble for a hug.

25
00:00:51,647 --> 00:00:52,845
Come on, it'll be fun,

26
00:00:52,847 --> 00:00:54,478
and, you know, your mom
was genuinely hurt

27
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,145
we didn't invite her
to the first one.

28
00:00:56,147 --> 00:00:57,544
Look, in our defense,

29
00:00:57,546 --> 00:00:59,711
it was kind of a spur
of the moment thing,

30
00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:01,845
and also, we don't like her.

31
00:01:01,847 --> 00:01:03,412
Leonard, come on,
she's your mom.

32
00:01:03,414 --> 00:01:05,445
If we can do something
to make her happy,

33
00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:06,345
why wouldn't we?

34
00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:07,611
I just said why...

35
00:01:07,613 --> 00:01:09,345
we don't like her.

36
00:01:09,347 --> 00:01:10,645
Hey, look,
then forget about her,

37
00:01:10,647 --> 00:01:11,811
let's do it for us.

38
00:01:11,813 --> 00:01:13,145
We could keep it
small and informal.

39
00:01:13,147 --> 00:01:14,611
This time we can
invite our families.

40
00:01:14,613 --> 00:01:15,945
Is your brother out of prison?

41
00:01:15,947 --> 00:01:18,112
Thanks to overcrowding, yeah.

42
00:01:18,114 --> 00:01:21,212
I'd love it
if my dad could come.

43
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,578
Oh, you have to invite him.

44
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:24,045
I haven't seen him
since the divorce.

45
00:01:24,047 --> 00:01:25,945
Oh, he's like a different man.

46
00:01:25,947 --> 00:01:27,544
Oh.
He stopped twitching,

47
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:30,012
and I think he grew
an inch and a half.

48
00:01:30,014 --> 00:01:31,911
Well, then it's settled.

49
00:01:31,913 --> 00:01:33,245
Yay.

50
00:01:33,247 --> 00:01:34,245
God.

51
00:01:34,247 --> 00:01:35,412
So funny.

52
00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:37,845
I never thought my second
marriage would be to you!

53
00:02:03,922 --> 00:02:08,917
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

54
00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,594
Okay, so it's not
a legal ceremony,

55
00:02:10,596 --> 00:02:11,761
it's just a chance for us

56
00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:14,361
to redo our vows
so everyone can be part of it.

57
00:02:14,363 --> 00:02:17,861
So there's no maid of honor?

58
00:02:17,863 --> 00:02:18,794
No.

59
00:02:18,796 --> 00:02:21,961
Huh.

60
00:02:21,963 --> 00:02:25,261
But if I were to, say,
wear a purple satin dress

61
00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:27,594
with a sweetheart neckline
and stand near you,

62
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:30,028
you wouldn't be able
to stop me, right?

63
00:02:31,563 --> 00:02:33,028
I don't see how I could.

64
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,861
Then I graciously accept.

65
00:02:36,863 --> 00:02:38,361
Who's going to officiate?

66
00:02:38,363 --> 00:02:40,061
I was kind of hoping you would.

67
00:02:40,063 --> 00:02:42,961
Wait, now I'm just some
lousy maid of honor?

68
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:46,627
Hey, good news, I just got off
the phone with my mother.

69
00:02:46,629 --> 00:02:47,694
She is coming to the wedding.

70
00:02:47,696 --> 00:02:49,427
Okay, wait,

71
00:02:49,429 --> 00:02:51,195
you're inviting people
to our wedding?

72
00:02:51,197 --> 00:02:55,095
Yes, I'm inviting
people to our wedding.

73
00:02:55,097 --> 00:02:56,360
Yeah, I've already asked

74
00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:58,728
Stephen Hawking
and Robert Downey Jr.

75
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,328
And now, don't get your hopes
up, 'cause he's pretty busy,

76
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:02,694
but Erno Rubik.

77
00:03:02,696 --> 00:03:04,694
Who's Erno Rubik?

78
00:03:04,696 --> 00:03:07,195
Seriously?

79
00:03:07,197 --> 00:03:08,661
He invented the Rubik's Cube.

80
00:03:08,663 --> 00:03:10,794
Okay, fine,

81
00:03:10,796 --> 00:03:12,461
but why would you invite him
to our wedding?

82
00:03:12,463 --> 00:03:14,761
Because, despite his fame
and fortune,

83
00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:17,261
he strikes me as a lonely man.

84
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,461
Well, it's very sweet

85
00:03:19,463 --> 00:03:21,661
of you to go to all this trouble
for Leonard's mother.

86
00:03:21,663 --> 00:03:23,261
Yeah, I'm also doing it
for Leonard.

87
00:03:23,263 --> 00:03:25,295
I think this could really help
their relationship.

88
00:03:25,297 --> 00:03:28,461
How dare you invite your father
without consulting me!

89
00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:33,461
Sorry, but I don't think
I need your permission

90
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,594
to have my father at my wedding.

91
00:03:35,596 --> 00:03:38,128
You do understand our marriage
ended because he had an affair.

92
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,195
I know,

93
00:03:39,197 --> 00:03:41,261
and there's no excuse for that.

94
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,828
He claimed I was cold,
emasculating,

95
00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:47,661
and hadn't shown him any
physical affection for years.

96
00:03:47,663 --> 00:03:51,161
I was wrong, there's
three excuses for that.

97
00:04:01,796 --> 00:04:03,828
Oh, my God.

98
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:04,761
It's working.

99
00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:06,327
You sure?

100
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,360
Look.

101
00:04:07,362 --> 00:04:09,061
The system is maintaining
its own stability,

102
00:04:09,063 --> 00:04:11,994
the quantum vortex apparatus is
now controlling the orientation.

103
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,861
You're right.

104
00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:17,195
You realize what this means?

105
00:04:17,197 --> 00:04:19,061
Yeah.

106
00:04:19,063 --> 00:04:20,828
I do.

107
00:04:20,830 --> 00:04:24,095
It's proof of concept.

108
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,961
We've got a
workable guidance system.

109
00:04:25,963 --> 00:04:28,994
Congratulations.

110
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:32,694
Thanks!

111
00:04:34,063 --> 00:04:35,427
Hey,

112
00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:38,794
I just got an e-mail
from the U.S. Air Force.

113
00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:40,594
Open it.

114
00:04:40,596 --> 00:04:41,794
Hmm.

115
00:04:41,796 --> 00:04:43,728
"We request a meeting at your
earliest convenience

116
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,527
"regarding your
quantum guidance system,

117
00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:49,095
provisional patent 62/295118."

118
00:04:49,097 --> 00:04:52,260
That's weird.

119
00:04:52,262 --> 00:04:56,461
Is there a window around
here we don't know about?

120
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,694
I'm sure
it's just a coincidence.

121
00:04:58,696 --> 00:04:59,661
Yeah, of course.

122
00:04:59,663 --> 00:05:01,128
What else could it be?

123
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:05,161
Boy, do I love America.

124
00:05:07,362 --> 00:05:09,360
Thank you for picking me up.

125
00:05:09,362 --> 00:05:11,828
Oh, you're welcome.

126
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,195
I was speaking to
your young lady.

127
00:05:14,197 --> 00:05:15,894
My pleasure, Mrs. Cooper.

128
00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:17,161
Oh, please call me Mary.

129
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:19,594
Okay, Mary.

130
00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:22,561
You know,
that doesn't work for me,

131
00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:24,794
let's stay with Mrs. Cooper.

132
00:05:24,796 --> 00:05:26,761
Sheldon, don't be silly.

133
00:05:26,763 --> 00:05:28,195
Wait, what?

134
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,354
That's what I called you
till I got to know you better.

135
00:05:31,362 --> 00:05:34,961
It was so nice of Leonard
and Penny to invite me.

136
00:05:34,963 --> 00:05:37,828
Well, actually, I...
It sure was.

137
00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:40,828
I've always had a special place
in my heart for Leonard.

138
00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:42,461
Taking care of my baby
all these years.

139
00:05:42,463 --> 00:05:44,294
Excuse me,

140
00:05:44,296 --> 00:05:45,527
I take care of him.

141
00:05:45,529 --> 00:05:47,494
Sure you do.

142
00:05:48,362 --> 00:05:51,061
So who else is coming
to this shindig?

143
00:05:51,063 --> 00:05:52,661
Oh, well, the usual gang.

144
00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:54,527
Penny's family
is coming tomorrow.

145
00:05:54,529 --> 00:05:56,028
Yeah, and Leonard's mother's
already here.

146
00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:57,594
Oh, Beverly.

147
00:05:57,596 --> 00:05:58,994
How nice.

148
00:05:58,996 --> 00:06:01,260
You've met her, right?

149
00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:04,028
Yes, I have.

150
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:07,327
Mother, she's an atheist,

151
00:06:07,329 --> 00:06:09,961
not a vampire.

152
00:06:09,963 --> 00:06:13,961
Either way, let's stop
and get some garlic.

153
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:28,260
So, Mary, how have you been?

154
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,527
Well, thank you
so much for asking.

155
00:06:29,529 --> 00:06:30,561
I've been well, and you?

156
00:06:30,563 --> 00:06:33,894
Very good.
Good.

157
00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:35,594
I don't know what

158
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:39,360
we were worried about;
they're getting along great.

159
00:06:39,362 --> 00:06:41,527
Sheldon tells me
your husband's coming.

160
00:06:41,529 --> 00:06:42,561
My ex-husband.

161
00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:43,694
Oh, I'm so sorry.

162
00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:44,461
Don't be.

163
00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,095
All right.

164
00:06:46,097 --> 00:06:48,394
Whew, chilly.

165
00:06:48,396 --> 00:06:50,294
I think I can see my breath.

166
00:06:50,296 --> 00:06:51,194
We can hear you.

167
00:06:51,196 --> 00:06:53,327
Sorry.
Sorry.

168
00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:57,028
I can't believe I was so naive.

169
00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:59,194
The military is just gonna

170
00:06:59,196 --> 00:07:00,961
take over the whole project.

171
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,761
And you know what happens
if we object?

172
00:07:03,763 --> 00:07:04,994
We disappear.

173
00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:07,360
Like off the map.

174
00:07:07,362 --> 00:07:09,794
Like every American Idol winner
since season four.

175
00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:14,260
Come on, Howard,
you're overreacting.

176
00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:16,028
Am I?

177
00:07:16,030 --> 00:07:19,227
Am I?

178
00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:21,894
Wha... what do you want to bet
some black ops guy

179
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:23,894
is reprinting
my high school yearbook

180
00:07:23,896 --> 00:07:26,627
and I'm no longer in it?

181
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:28,828
That chess club picture is now

182
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,694
just David Zimmerman
and Elaine Cho.

183
00:07:30,696 --> 00:07:34,627
Okay, look,
I'm on the Air Force Web site,

184
00:07:34,629 --> 00:07:35,761
and the department
that e-mailed you

185
00:07:35,763 --> 00:07:36,861
is in charge of acquisitions.

186
00:07:36,863 --> 00:07:38,461
So maybe they just
want to give you

187
00:07:38,463 --> 00:07:39,961
a lot of money
for your invention.

188
00:07:39,963 --> 00:07:42,394
Oh, please, that's
not how it works.

189
00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:44,994
You saw E.T., Avatar,
Jurassic World.

190
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:49,294
The military just shows up
and takes over.

191
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:52,060
You do realize those weren't
documentaries, right?

192
00:07:54,529 --> 00:07:56,260
I'm sorry, you find this funny?

193
00:07:56,262 --> 00:07:58,828
No, I was just thinking
about Jurassic World.

194
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,828
Boy, that was terrible.

195
00:08:10,496 --> 00:08:11,728
Oh, we have to use the stairs.

196
00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:13,527
When are they gonna fix
your elevator?

197
00:08:13,529 --> 00:08:15,360
Uh... I don't... any day now.

198
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:19,127
Well, the stairs are fine.

199
00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:22,527
Besides, your
mother is up there.

200
00:08:22,529 --> 00:08:25,360
Maybe I'll have a heart attack
and not have to see her.

201
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,327
Hey, I, I know things
are a little rough

202
00:08:30,329 --> 00:08:31,694
with you and Mom,

203
00:08:31,696 --> 00:08:33,794
but I'm really
glad you're here.

204
00:08:33,796 --> 00:08:35,561
Me, too.

205
00:08:38,396 --> 00:08:42,194
I should have never had that
angioplasty because I feel fine.

206
00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:47,494
Penny's really looking
forward to seeing you.

207
00:08:47,496 --> 00:08:49,327
Ah, she's a sweetie.

208
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,728
You got a good one there,
Leonard.

209
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:54,427
Thanks, Dad.

210
00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:57,527
How the hell did you do that?

211
00:09:21,029 --> 00:09:22,661
Isn't this nice?

212
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,327
Hey, we're here.

213
00:09:25,329 --> 00:09:26,527
Alfred!

214
00:09:26,529 --> 00:09:28,227
Thank you for coming!
Oh.

215
00:09:28,229 --> 00:09:29,627
Well, happy to be here.

216
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:31,461
And congratulations.
Thank you.

217
00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:32,861
Dad, you remember Sheldon.

218
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:33,828
Dr. Hofstadter.

219
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:35,294
Dr. Cooper.

220
00:09:35,296 --> 00:09:36,928
This is Sheldon's mother, Mary.
How do you do?

221
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:38,127
Nice to meet you.

222
00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:39,294
And his girlfriend, Amy.

223
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:40,894
A pleasure.
Hi.

224
00:09:40,896 --> 00:09:42,127
And, of course, Mom.

225
00:09:42,129 --> 00:09:44,327
Hello, my hateful shrew.

226
00:09:47,396 --> 00:09:50,928
Hello to you,
you wrinkled old bastard.

227
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:56,794
All right, now I'm starting
to sense a little tension.

228
00:10:05,384 --> 00:10:07,182
All right, you two, don't start.

229
00:10:07,184 --> 00:10:10,348
Penny and I are throwing this
second wedding for your benefit.

230
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:11,849
Can you please not ruin it?

231
00:10:11,851 --> 00:10:13,549
Of course. I'm sorry.

232
00:10:13,551 --> 00:10:15,148
Oh, look at that...
you can apologize.

233
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:17,148
Mom!
I'm sorry.

234
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,248
You know, the Bible
says forgiveness...

235
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,115
Mom!
I'm sorry.

236
00:10:22,684 --> 00:10:23,882
Uh, who's hungry?

237
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,615
We have a reservation
at the best restaurant in town.

238
00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:27,449
It only got three-and-a-half
stars on Yelp.

239
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:30,015
Sheldon!
I'm not sorry. That's true.

240
00:10:32,484 --> 00:10:33,649
I don't know what to do.

241
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:34,948
It's the Air Force.

242
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:36,948
I mean, should I respond
to their e-mail?

243
00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:38,182
Ignore it?

244
00:10:38,184 --> 00:10:39,482
You can't ignore it.

245
00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:40,948
It's not that postcard
that says it's time

246
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,682
to go back to the dentist.

247
00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,082
Guys, come on.

248
00:10:45,084 --> 00:10:46,182
We're meeting everyone
for dinner.

249
00:10:46,184 --> 00:10:47,315
One sec. I'm just afraid

250
00:10:47,317 --> 00:10:49,348
if I respond,
then they'll know I got it.

251
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:50,449
Oh, dude.

252
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:51,749
The minute you opened
that e-mail,

253
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:52,849
they knew you got it.

254
00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:53,981
I mean, they're probably
looking at you

255
00:10:53,983 --> 00:10:56,248
through the camera right now.
Oh, damn.

256
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,816
I love America.

257
00:11:02,451 --> 00:11:03,881
Are you done with this nonsense?

258
00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:05,115
It's not nonsense.

259
00:11:05,117 --> 00:11:07,048
This is how the
U.S. military works.

260
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,615
Oh, if it's even
the U.S. military.

261
00:11:08,617 --> 00:11:11,482
It could be foreign military
pretending to be American.

262
00:11:11,484 --> 00:11:13,881
You're right. We turn our
guidance system over to them,

263
00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:16,315
next thing we know,
they're using it against us.

264
00:11:18,084 --> 00:11:20,848
I also love the enemies
of America.

265
00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:32,948
Penny, I hope the example
of my failed marriage

266
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:35,348
to Leonard's father
doesn't discourage you

267
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:37,615
from the commitment
you've made to one another.

268
00:11:37,617 --> 00:11:40,782
Oh, of course not.

269
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:44,848
Although Alfred and I had a lot
more going for us than you two.

270
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:49,815
Mom, please save something
for the toast.

271
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:56,948
So, Alfred, what is it
that you do for a living?

272
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,215
Oh, I'm an anthropologist.

273
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,915
I study ancient peoples
and cultures.

274
00:12:00,917 --> 00:12:02,915
My goodness, so all the way
back to the Flood.

275
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:08,282
Don't laugh...
she wasn't joking.

276
00:12:08,284 --> 00:12:10,615
Play with your phone.

277
00:12:14,184 --> 00:12:15,881
Well, on that note,

278
00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:18,749
there are many cultures
that have an apocalyptic flood

279
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:20,248
as part of their mythology.

280
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,948
I don't have a mythology.

281
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,682
I have the unerring Word of God.

282
00:12:23,684 --> 00:12:25,082
But that's very interesting.

283
00:12:25,084 --> 00:12:26,348
Oh.

284
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:28,449
I-I didn't mean to
disparage your faith.

285
00:12:28,451 --> 00:12:30,215
Actually, I admire it.

286
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,482
Really?
Yes.

287
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,948
Yes, I'm an agnostic myself,

288
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:35,248
but I have prayed,
many times, to God,

289
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:38,781
to turn my wife
into a pillar of salt.

290
00:12:39,617 --> 00:12:40,915
Well, He came close.

291
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,948
Turned her into
a giant block of ice.

292
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:49,815
Howard, there must be someone
at the university

293
00:12:49,817 --> 00:12:51,082
you can go to for help.

294
00:12:51,084 --> 00:12:52,649
Are you kidding?

295
00:12:52,651 --> 00:12:54,215
They're probably the ones
who leaked it

296
00:12:54,217 --> 00:12:56,015
to the military
in the first place.

297
00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:00,015
What about the guy
on the Channel Four News?

298
00:13:00,017 --> 00:13:02,215
You know,
"Four on Your Side"?

299
00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:04,115
Maybe he can be on your side.

300
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,881
I'm being harassed
by the government,

301
00:13:07,883 --> 00:13:11,482
not trying to get to the bottom
of a dog-walking scam.

302
00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:14,315
Oh, stop!

303
00:13:14,317 --> 00:13:15,881
You know what's
really happening?

304
00:13:15,883 --> 00:13:17,415
All the movies
you've watched,

305
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:18,815
the TV shows, the comic books...

306
00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:20,515
they've completely twisted
your thinking.

307
00:13:20,517 --> 00:13:22,082
No one's after you,
no one's listening to you,

308
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:24,115
no one cares about you.

309
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:27,148
I'd like to think

310
00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:29,649
the "Four on Your Side" guy
cares about me.

311
00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:34,682
You know, Beverly,
I know you and Alfred

312
00:13:34,684 --> 00:13:37,382
have your differences,
but if you think about it,

313
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,981
if you hadn't married him,
there'd be no Leonard.

314
00:13:41,184 --> 00:13:42,682
So that's good, right?

315
00:13:42,684 --> 00:13:43,714
Eh.

316
00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:51,881
Is that Howard
in front of us?

317
00:13:51,883 --> 00:13:53,449
Oh, maybe.

318
00:13:53,451 --> 00:13:55,348
Get closer.

319
00:13:56,983 --> 00:13:58,649
Oh, God.

320
00:13:58,651 --> 00:14:01,449
I think someone's
following us.

321
00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:03,748
You're being ridiculous.

322
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,515
I'm not being ridiculous...
he's right on my tail.

323
00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:09,482
Uh, turn left here
and see if he turns with us.

324
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:12,649
Well, why is
he turning here?

325
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,515
The restaurant's the other way.
I don't know.

326
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:16,881
He uses that traffic app.
Maybe there's an accident.

327
00:14:16,883 --> 00:14:18,382
Oh, so follow him.

328
00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:22,182
Oh, no!

329
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:26,182
I told you!

330
00:14:26,184 --> 00:14:28,781
It's probably
just a coincidence.

331
00:14:28,783 --> 00:14:31,415
Speed up a little,
see if he stays with you.

332
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:32,948
Well, go faster.

333
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,315
You're losing him.
What is his hurry?

334
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:35,615
You know what,
flash your lights.

335
00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:36,881
Let him know it's you.

336
00:14:37,716 --> 00:14:39,215
He's flashing his lights.

337
00:14:39,217 --> 00:14:40,648
What's that mean?

338
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:42,449
I-I think he wants us
to pull over.

339
00:14:42,451 --> 00:14:43,981
Do not pull over!

340
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,382
I'm not raising this baby alone!

341
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:48,515
Hang on!

342
00:14:51,983 --> 00:14:54,981
So, after
your husband passed,

343
00:14:54,983 --> 00:14:56,648
you never remarried?

344
00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:59,182
No, just focused on work
and the church.

345
00:14:59,184 --> 00:15:00,449
Ah. And what do you do?

346
00:15:00,451 --> 00:15:02,648
I work at the church.

347
00:15:03,983 --> 00:15:05,948
Well, they're lucky
to have you.

348
00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:07,915
Well, thank you.

349
00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:09,981
You're welcome.

350
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:12,115
Do you realize
what's happening here?

351
00:15:12,117 --> 00:15:13,681
Yeah, I do.

352
00:15:13,683 --> 00:15:16,382
They're filling up on bread
and ruining their meal.

353
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:20,948
- Hey.
- Hey.

354
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:22,515
What took you guys so long?

355
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:24,681
Oh, we were following Howard,
but for some reason,

356
00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:27,348
he turned off his headlights
and went up a one-way street.

357
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,482
So, what did we miss?

358
00:15:30,484 --> 00:15:32,582
Oh, just Mary and I getting
to know each other a little.

359
00:15:32,584 --> 00:15:34,881
Leonard, your father
is just charming.

360
00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:35,915
He's also broke.

361
00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:37,348
Did he mention that?

362
00:15:39,584 --> 00:15:42,648
Okay, Mom,
you sit over there...

363
00:15:44,084 --> 00:15:46,449
And I'm gonna call Bernadette
and see what's keeping them.

364
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:49,549
If I'd known you were broke,

365
00:15:49,551 --> 00:15:51,815
I wouldn't have made
a big deal about the bread.

366
00:15:56,883 --> 00:15:58,315
Hey, Penny.

367
00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:00,815
What are you talking about?

368
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,148
Oh, that was you?

369
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:08,148
Long story.

370
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:09,681
Why don't you go ahead and eat.

371
00:16:09,683 --> 00:16:10,981
We're gonna be a while.

372
00:16:15,217 --> 00:16:17,482
I'm telling you,
I'm not on drugs.

373
00:16:17,484 --> 00:16:20,482
The government's out to get me!

374
00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:26,082
Now, one of the more exciting
things to be found recently

375
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,614
is that Neanderthals

376
00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:31,015
and Homo sapiens frequently
mated with each other.

377
00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:34,382
Well, that certainly explains
my marriage to Sheldon's father.

378
00:16:37,384 --> 00:16:41,115
That's funny, because my father
was not a very clever man.

379
00:16:41,983 --> 00:16:43,781
I'd be lost without you.

380
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:49,182
Uh, I would like
to propose a toast

381
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:51,082
to my wife and bride-to-be.

382
00:16:51,084 --> 00:16:52,348
See, that's funny because...

383
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:53,514
Back to your phone.

384
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,182
Penny...

385
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,248
I've always known I loved you,

386
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:02,748
but this last year has shown me

387
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,981
that I also love
being married to you.

388
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,482
Thank you
for saying yes.

389
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:10,614
Oh, thanks for asking
until I did.

390
00:17:11,451 --> 00:17:12,648
Hear, hear.

391
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:13,881
Cheers.

392
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,881
I, uh, I would also like
to make a toast.

393
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:18,848
Aw.

394
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:20,748
Leonard,

395
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,015
I am so happy
that you have found a woman

396
00:17:23,017 --> 00:17:24,948
who loves and cares for you.

397
00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:27,115
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

398
00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:30,881
Why don't you take a pill?

399
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,581
Like you did before sex?

400
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,315
What I really needed

401
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:36,115
was a blindfold.

402
00:17:36,117 --> 00:17:37,681
All right, everyone...

403
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,148
calm down.

404
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,881
Let's all remember what
it says in the Bible:

405
00:17:40,883 --> 00:17:43,015
"He who is slow to anger

406
00:17:43,017 --> 00:17:45,248
is better than the mighty."

407
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,449
Oh, dear woman, can you please
read another book?

408
00:17:49,483 --> 00:17:52,848
When God writes one, I will.

409
00:17:58,917 --> 00:18:02,282
Um, if-if we want to order
the soufflé,

410
00:18:02,284 --> 00:18:04,481
we might want to get on that.

411
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:10,915
Leonard, if you don't mind,
I-I think I'm a little tired.

412
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,115
I'm gonna call it a night.

413
00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:13,614
Sure, Dad.

414
00:18:13,616 --> 00:18:15,481
I'm a little
tuckered out myself,

415
00:18:15,483 --> 00:18:17,614
so I will see you all
in the morning.

416
00:18:18,650 --> 00:18:20,148
Would you like
to share a cab?

417
00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:21,348
That would be fine.

418
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,981
Where are you staying?
I'm at the Westin.

419
00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:24,215
Oh, so am I.

420
00:18:24,217 --> 00:18:25,548
Can I interest you
in a nightcap?

421
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:27,981
I think that you could.

422
00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:34,981
What is happening there?

423
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:37,514
I think it's pretty obvious.

424
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,848
They don't want dessert
'cause they filled up on bread.

425
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,803
She's still not answering.

426
00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:57,003
My father's not texting me back.

427
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,003
'Cause they both
turned their phones off.

428
00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:10,170
I don't like this at all.

429
00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:11,803
I don't like it either.

430
00:19:11,805 --> 00:19:13,070
Really?

431
00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:15,137
'Cause I love it.

432
00:19:19,938 --> 00:19:26,431
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man