1
00:00:08,891 --> 00:00:10,513
Hello.

2
00:00:10,515 --> 00:00:13,138
I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz.

3
00:00:13,337 --> 00:00:15,368
May I ask what this is about?

4
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,769
No, you may not.

5
00:00:16,771 --> 00:00:18,802
Very well.

6
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,569
Hi... Colonel Williams.

7
00:00:22,571 --> 00:00:23,935
How can I help you?

8
00:00:23,937 --> 00:00:25,202
O-Okay.

9
00:00:25,204 --> 00:00:27,968
Sure, I can meet with you
on Thursday.

10
00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:29,368
Caltech is fine.

11
00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,836
Yeah, may I ask
what this is about?

12
00:00:33,204 --> 00:00:35,302
I may not?

13
00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:38,302
That's what he said to me.

14
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,335
Look at this.

15
00:00:41,337 --> 00:00:44,435
Elon Musk has a theory
that we're all just characters

16
00:00:44,437 --> 00:00:47,569
in some advanced civilization's
video game.

17
00:00:47,571 --> 00:00:49,468
So some alien kid spent
his money

18
00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:52,835
on the asthma-and-glasses
upgrade for me?

19
00:00:54,070 --> 00:00:57,835
Well, he doesn't say
it's a good game.

20
00:00:58,704 --> 00:01:00,669
All right, we got a problem.

21
00:01:00,671 --> 00:01:01,490
What's up?

22
00:01:01,514 --> 00:01:04,066
The Air Force contacted me
about our quantum gyroscope.

23
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:04,995
They want to have
a meeting.

24
00:01:05,019 --> 00:01:05,603
Really?

25
00:01:05,604 --> 00:01:07,735
Yeah. This military guy
showed up at Howard's door.

26
00:01:07,737 --> 00:01:09,235
He was terrifying.

27
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,569
Oh, what did he say?

28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,835
He gave me his business card

29
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:15,835
and asked me to please
pass it along to Howard.

30
00:01:15,837 --> 00:01:18,268
That doesn't sound terrifying.

31
00:01:18,270 --> 00:01:20,801
To a white guy born here, no.

32
00:01:22,704 --> 00:01:24,535
If you are a brown guy
whose name has

33
00:01:24,537 --> 00:01:27,502
a lot of syllables in it...
terrifying.

34
00:01:28,241 --> 00:01:30,872
You realize if the military declares our
research classified,

35
00:01:30,874 --> 00:01:33,205
they can take the whole
thing away from us.

36
00:01:33,207 --> 00:01:34,539
And if that happens,

37
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,972
we'll never be able
to sell it commercially.

38
00:01:35,974 --> 00:01:37,239
There goes our big payday.
I was counting

39
00:01:37,241 --> 00:01:39,606
on that money... I need
to make as much as my wife

40
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:42,205
so I don't have
to try so hard in bed.

41
00:01:42,207 --> 00:01:43,905
You do that, too?

42
00:01:43,907 --> 00:01:46,772
Oh, yeah. How do you think
I stay this thin?

43
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,939
Gentlemen, I think we are
losing sight of the real issue.

44
00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:53,072
We are on the precipice
of becoming faceless cogs

45
00:01:53,074 --> 00:01:55,406
in the military-industrial
complex.

46
00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:58,105
Isn't that exciting?

47
00:01:58,107 --> 00:01:59,439
You're kidding, right?

48
00:01:59,441 --> 00:02:02,406
Not at all. In Star Wars,
when the stormtroopers

49
00:02:02,408 --> 00:02:04,506
would march
in perfect formation,

50
00:02:04,508 --> 00:02:06,805
harassing civilians,
didn't you ever think,

51
00:02:06,807 --> 00:02:08,972
"Hey, that could be me"?

52
00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:10,639
Sheldon,
we could be contributing

53
00:02:10,641 --> 00:02:13,272
to a weapons system
that oppresses mankind

54
00:02:13,274 --> 00:02:15,872
for the next thousand years.

55
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,172
Okay, Howard's on board.
What do you think, Leonard?

56
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:47,581
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

57
00:02:47,582 --> 00:02:50,213
I'm worried about Howard.
Ever since that guy

58
00:02:50,214 --> 00:02:52,445
from the Air Force showed up,
he's been a nervous wreck.

59
00:02:52,447 --> 00:02:54,445
All right, we work at
a giant pharmaceutical company.

60
00:02:54,447 --> 00:02:56,178
Get him some anti-anxiety meds.

61
00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:58,045
He won't take any pills
that aren't chewable

62
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,112
and shaped like a Flintstone.

63
00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,479
You know, when Leonard's
feeling anxious

64
00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:03,911
I make him take a long walk.

65
00:03:03,913 --> 00:03:04,978
Does that help?

66
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,911
Well, for a while.
Then he comes back.

67
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,552
I don't believe this.

68
00:03:10,576 --> 00:03:11,246
What's wrong?

69
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:13,612
This guy from the office
just congratulated me

70
00:03:13,614 --> 00:03:15,145
on being pregnant.

71
00:03:15,147 --> 00:03:17,312
You did already know, right?

72
00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:20,379
No one at the office did.

73
00:03:20,381 --> 00:03:21,513
Did you tell
anyone?

74
00:03:21,537 --> 00:03:23,047
No.
You told me not to.

75
00:03:23,048 --> 00:03:25,012
I bet it was Barbara Chen
in retrovirus.

76
00:03:25,013 --> 00:03:27,245
She might have heard me
throwing up one morning.

77
00:03:27,247 --> 00:03:28,479
Every since she got

78
00:03:28,481 --> 00:03:31,612
the hearing aid,
she thinks she's so great.

79
00:03:32,481 --> 00:03:34,945
Why don't you want
anyone to know?

80
00:03:34,947 --> 00:03:36,678
'Cause I'm up for a major
immunotherapy study,

81
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,278
and if they find out
I'm pregnant

82
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,978
they might give it
to someone else.

83
00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,312
Would they really do that?

84
00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:43,612
I know they would... they did it
to Barbara Chen last year

85
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:45,312
when I told everyone
she was pregnant.

86
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:51,612
Wail till I Snapchat that
my friends might be working

87
00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:54,345
on a top secret
government project.

88
00:03:55,314 --> 00:03:56,512
Are you crazy?

89
00:03:56,514 --> 00:03:57,978
You can't put that on Snapchat.

90
00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:01,911
Fine, I'll put it on Facebook
like a caveman.

91
00:04:04,381 --> 00:04:05,811
You know,
maybe before our meeting

92
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,178
we should talk to a lawyer.

93
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,612
That's not a bad idea.

94
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:10,711
Well, you must have someone
in your family that's a lawyer.

95
00:04:10,713 --> 00:04:12,312
Why? Because I'm Jewish?

96
00:04:12,314 --> 00:04:14,345
That's like me saying,
"Hey, you're Indian.

97
00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:17,379
Doesn't your cousin work
in a call center?"

98
00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:21,579
My cousin does work
in a call center.

99
00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:25,711
And my cousin's a lawyer.

100
00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:29,245
We don't need
Howard's cousin, no.

101
00:04:29,247 --> 00:04:31,911
We have me.

102
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:34,312
You're not a lawyer, Sheldon,
you're just a know-it-all.

103
00:04:34,314 --> 00:04:35,778
I am not a know-it-all.

104
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:37,811
I'm a person
who knows lots of things

105
00:04:37,813 --> 00:04:41,245
and likes to correct
other people when they're wrong.

106
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,412
That's the definition
of being a know-it-all.

107
00:04:43,414 --> 00:04:46,945
Or in German, a Besserwisser.

108
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,078
How did you think you were
gonna hide your pregnancy?

109
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,678
I had a plan... I kept leaving
Dove Bar wrappers around

110
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,911
to explain any weight gain.

111
00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:00,678
Where did you get
empty Dove Bar wrappers?

112
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,345
From all the Dove Bars
I ate! I'm pregnant!

113
00:05:03,347 --> 00:05:05,379
Try to keep up!

114
00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:09,045
I'm sorry.
I-I have to go find out

115
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,355
if my boss knows.

116
00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:12,517
Well, whatever happens,
we're here for you.

117
00:05:12,518 --> 00:05:13,706
Thanks.
You guys are the best.

118
00:05:13,707 --> 00:05:15,513
Yeah, drive safe. We love you.
And give us a call...

119
00:05:15,514 --> 00:05:16,811
Oh, my God,
it was me, it was me!

120
00:05:16,813 --> 00:05:18,078
I'm the one who blabbed
she was pregnant!

121
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,186
What?

122
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:19,946
I didn't mean to.
It just slipped out

123
00:05:19,947 --> 00:05:21,766
in front of her assistant
one day. I...

124
00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:22,545
I forgot my coat.

125
00:05:22,547 --> 00:05:24,445
Oh! Here's your coat, honey.

126
00:05:24,447 --> 00:05:26,445
That's such a cute jacket.

127
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:27,811
Oh...

128
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:29,711
God, I feel so bad...
I just lied to her.

129
00:05:29,713 --> 00:05:31,644
Oh, but you did it so well.

130
00:05:31,646 --> 00:05:33,412
That's amazing!

131
00:05:34,546 --> 00:05:36,078
It's like watching a sculptor,

132
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,578
but your clay was lies.

133
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:40,778
Is that really
what's important right now?

134
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:43,711
I mean, seriously, you have got
to let me scan your brain

135
00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:47,078
when you're being dishonest
so I can see what lights up.

136
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,379
That's super helpful, Amy.

137
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:50,278
Thanks a lot.
I can't wait to do that.

138
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,745
I can see a clump of bitch cells
lightin' up from here.

139
00:05:56,780 --> 00:06:00,379
Give me a second
to call my cousin.

140
00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:03,245
I don't see how a tax lawyer
from Fort Lauderdale

141
00:06:03,247 --> 00:06:06,145
could be helpful regarding
intellectual property.

142
00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:07,945
First of all,
he's in Boca Raton,

143
00:06:07,947 --> 00:06:10,245
which is better
than Fort Lauderdale.

144
00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:11,711
But more importantly,

145
00:06:11,713 --> 00:06:14,678
he lasted two days on Jeopardy,

146
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,145
so he's clearly a smart guy.

147
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,345
Hello.

148
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,479
Hey, Marty.
Thanks for talking to us.

149
00:06:23,481 --> 00:06:24,878
Hey, no problem.

150
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,045
Thanks for going to outer space
so no matter what I do

151
00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:29,278
my mom will be
disappointed in me.

152
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:33,412
Well, I married a little
Catholic girl, so we're even.

153
00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:35,878
Anyway,
this is Leonard and Sheldon.

154
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,878
The three of us came up
with the guidance system.

155
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,145
- Hi. - Hello.
And this is my friend, Raj.

156
00:06:40,147 --> 00:06:41,945
Oh, I'm not on the patent.
I'm just here

157
00:06:41,947 --> 00:06:45,011
because there's a bumblebee
in my office.

158
00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:48,145
I saw it. It's big.

159
00:06:49,114 --> 00:06:50,911
Anyway,
like I said in the e-mail,

160
00:06:50,913 --> 00:06:52,345
this meeting's on Thursday.

161
00:06:52,347 --> 00:06:54,278
Do you have any advice for us?

162
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,178
Well, I don't know much
about patent law.

163
00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:57,878
But, uh, my advice is:

164
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,511
hear them out, offer as little
information as possible,

165
00:07:00,513 --> 00:07:02,911
and whatever you do,
don't sign anything.

166
00:07:02,913 --> 00:07:05,544
"Don't sign anything"?
That's your advice?

167
00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:07,778
Okay, so, uh, if
during this meeting,

168
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,845
one of us were to, say,
complete an oil painting,

169
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:14,611
you'd recommend that
we leave that unsigned?

170
00:07:14,613 --> 00:07:15,978
That's not what I meant.

171
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,045
That's what you said.

172
00:07:17,047 --> 00:07:17,811
That's not what I meant.

173
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,878
This must be how
you practice law

174
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,112
in Boca Raton, by saying
things you don't mean

175
00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,978
and meaning things
you don't say.

176
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:26,711
Howard, why is he yelling at me?

177
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,711
All right, you
were on Jeopardy.

178
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:32,345
Allow me to Alex Trebek this and
put it in the form of a question:

179
00:07:32,347 --> 00:07:35,811
Who has been a complete
waste of our time?

180
00:07:37,114 --> 00:07:38,511
Marty, let me call you back.

181
00:07:38,513 --> 00:07:40,412
Someday, when I'm up
on murder charges,

182
00:07:40,414 --> 00:07:43,312
you'll be hearing from me.

183
00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:45,478
You don't need him.
I'll represent you.

184
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,745
Hi.
Hey. What brings you by?

185
00:07:50,747 --> 00:07:53,811
Oh, had to go to a sales seminar
on our new sleeping pill.

186
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:54,650
Oh. How was it?

187
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:55,412
Great.

188
00:07:55,413 --> 00:07:56,211
Fell asleep?

189
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:57,846
In, like, two minutes. Yeah.

190
00:07:57,847 --> 00:08:00,444
So, how is everything
going around here?

191
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:03,045
Are you still upset about people
finding out you're pregnant?

192
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,911
I'm furious.

193
00:08:04,913 --> 00:08:06,644
Sure, sure.

194
00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:09,078
Uh, did you ever figure out
who told?

195
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,345
No. I confronted Barbara Chen,
but she claimed

196
00:08:11,347 --> 00:08:13,544
she didn't know
what I was talking about.

197
00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:16,245
Hmm. Well, I guess it's
just gonna remain a mystery,

198
00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:18,345
you know, like whatever happened
in that seminar

199
00:08:18,347 --> 00:08:20,911
after they dimmed the lights.

200
00:08:20,913 --> 00:08:22,478
It had to be Barbara.

201
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,478
I've been trying to figure out
a way to get back at her.

202
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:26,578
Do you think

203
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,278
using her work computer
to Google

204
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,578
"how to be a prostitute"
is over the line?

205
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:33,011
Uh, you know, when I was

206
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,511
in high school, there was this girl
who was talking about me

207
00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:37,411
behind my back, so me
and all my friends,

208
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:41,145
we cornered her in the bathroom
and forgave her.

209
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,511
What kind of revenge is that?

210
00:08:44,513 --> 00:08:47,278
This woman screwed with my job.
She's got to pay.

211
00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:50,212
Okay, all right, honey,
you know what?

212
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:53,312
There was something I was too
scared to tell you yesterday,

213
00:08:53,314 --> 00:08:57,078
a-and now... I'm just balls-out
terrified to tell you, but...

214
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,745
the truth is it...

215
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,112
wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me.

216
00:09:01,114 --> 00:09:03,078
I'm the reason everyone knows.

217
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,811
Why did you do that?

218
00:09:04,813 --> 00:09:07,711
Well, it was an accident.
I am so sorry I lied.

219
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,011
Get out.

220
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:19,011
Oh, you know, I also lied
about the girl in the bathroom.

221
00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:21,145
Yeah, we actually dumped
her retainer in the toilet

222
00:09:21,147 --> 00:09:23,845
and put it back in her mouth.

223
00:09:27,747 --> 00:09:31,344
I don't understand why
I can't talk at this meeting.

224
00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:34,112
'Cause when you talk,
it enrages people.

225
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,845
Okay.

226
00:09:36,847 --> 00:09:38,245
Quick question.

227
00:09:38,247 --> 00:09:40,378
Am I allowed
to exchange pleasantries

228
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,811
upon meeting this colonel?

229
00:09:41,813 --> 00:09:42,978
Yes.

230
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,478
Am I allowed to inform him

231
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,344
that Colonel Sanders was never
actually in the military?

232
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,011
I'm getting enraged.

233
00:09:50,013 --> 00:09:51,911
Fine.

234
00:09:51,913 --> 00:09:53,078
Ooh.

235
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,045
Can I use text-to-speech
software?

236
00:09:55,047 --> 00:09:55,683
No!

237
00:09:55,707 --> 00:09:56,579
Don't speak.

238
00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:59,277
Aw, nuts.

239
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:00,745
Gentlemen!

240
00:10:00,747 --> 00:10:02,411
I'm Colonel
Williams.

241
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:03,878
Thank you for meeting with me.

242
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,945
- Hi.
- Hello.

243
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:11,245
So, which one of you is
the brains behind all this?

244
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:13,078
It's a group effort,

245
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:17,311
but I guess if we had to pick
a main brain, it would be me.

246
00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:31,149
And because
of the quantum vortices,

247
00:10:31,151 --> 00:10:32,415
this can run perpetually?

248
00:10:32,417 --> 00:10:33,649
Exactly.

249
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:35,515
Yeah, you have a good
grasp of the physics.

250
00:10:35,517 --> 00:10:37,609
Well, I'm a scientist
by training.

251
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:38,483
Really?

252
00:10:38,484 --> 00:10:39,438
You're a physicist?

253
00:10:39,462 --> 00:10:41,244
Better. I'm an engineer.

254
00:10:46,251 --> 00:10:48,949
Where did you go to school?

255
00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:49,782
MIT.

256
00:10:49,784 --> 00:10:51,716
Oh.
Well, hey, me, too.

257
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,816
I should have known.

258
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,949
Behind every great invention
is an MIT mind.

259
00:10:58,351 --> 00:11:00,949
I'll cut to the chase.

260
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:02,749
The Air Force
believes there's an application

261
00:11:02,751 --> 00:11:04,382
for this technology,

262
00:11:04,384 --> 00:11:06,515
and we're interested
in funding your research.

263
00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:09,449
Well, thanks,
but you should know

264
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,949
we're a little concerned about
this being used in weapons.

265
00:11:12,951 --> 00:11:15,149
Oh, well,
let me put your mind at ease.

266
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:17,849
What we use it for
is none of your business.

267
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:23,083
I don't know how
I feel about this.

268
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:25,449
Look, guys,
it's just a guidance system.

269
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,083
It's not like
you're handing us

270
00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:28,916
the Death Star from Star Trek.

271
00:11:34,451 --> 00:11:35,883
All you need to
worry about is,

272
00:11:35,885 --> 00:11:38,449
right now, it's this big,

273
00:11:38,451 --> 00:11:42,382
and we need it to be...
this big.

274
00:11:42,384 --> 00:11:45,049
That's a
lot less big.

275
00:11:45,051 --> 00:11:49,716
Yes, it's...
this much less big.

276
00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:52,182
I'm not even sure
that's possible.

277
00:11:52,184 --> 00:11:54,349
Well, I ran it
by some colleagues at MIT,

278
00:11:54,351 --> 00:11:57,016
and they thought they could
get it done in four months.

279
00:11:57,018 --> 00:11:58,128
Four months?

280
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,017
Yeah, we'll do it
in two!

281
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:01,983
Hi. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

282
00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:04,049
I'm the actual brains
behind this project.

283
00:12:04,051 --> 00:12:06,049
Also, engineers aren't
real scientists,

284
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:07,582
MIT's a trade school,

285
00:12:07,584 --> 00:12:10,849
and the Death Star is
from Star Wars, not Star Trek!

286
00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:12,983
But otherwise,

287
00:12:12,985 --> 00:12:15,883
thank you for your service.

288
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,949
Hi.

289
00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:24,983
Howard told me you were working
late, so I brought dinner.

290
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,782
Oh, thanks. You know, I just
wanted to get some work done

291
00:12:27,784 --> 00:12:28,949
without people
congratulating me

292
00:12:28,951 --> 00:12:30,349
about the baby
every five minutes.

293
00:12:30,351 --> 00:12:31,949
I spent my day
alone in the lab

294
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,716
waiting for a rat
to die of anthrax.

295
00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:38,148
Did you come here
to bring me dinner or to gloat?

296
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:41,482
Well, I came to see
how you were feeling,

297
00:12:41,484 --> 00:12:43,449
but I'm guessing
still angry?

298
00:12:43,451 --> 00:12:44,816
I'm sorry.

299
00:12:44,818 --> 00:12:47,215
My boss wants to meet with me,
and I'm stressing.

300
00:12:47,217 --> 00:12:49,782
You really think they're gonna
start treating you differently?

301
00:12:49,784 --> 00:12:51,249
Are you kidding?

302
00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:53,182
I've always been
treated differently!

303
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:55,215
Look at me!
Listen to me!

304
00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:57,515
I mean, the first thought
when you see me isn't,

305
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,215
"That's a scientist."

306
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:02,249
It's, "I wonder if her mommy
knows where she is."

307
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:08,349
I am really regretting
that I got you a Happy Meal.

308
00:13:10,684 --> 00:13:12,782
I've worked so hard
to get where I am,

309
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:15,315
and I don't want
to get sent back to square one

310
00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:16,883
because I'm pregnant.

311
00:13:16,885 --> 00:13:18,415
I understand how you feel.

312
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:19,713
Thank you.

313
00:13:19,737 --> 00:13:20,750
I wish there were

314
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:22,782
some way I could make it better.

315
00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:25,215
Well, you brought me
French fries. That's a start.

316
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:29,883
Uh, actually, I got you apple
slices 'cause you're pregnant.

317
00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:32,716
Apple slices?

318
00:13:32,718 --> 00:13:36,182
What kind of lunatic goes
to McDonald's and gets fruit?

319
00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:38,182
I'll be right back.

320
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,215
And a chocolate shake!

321
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,749
- Hi.
- Hello.

322
00:13:47,751 --> 00:13:49,582
What are you doing?

323
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:52,849
Oh, Leonard's mad at me,
so I'm making him lemon bars.

324
00:13:52,851 --> 00:13:56,082
Does he even
like lemon bars?

325
00:13:56,084 --> 00:13:58,215
Not really.

326
00:13:58,217 --> 00:14:01,482
But I'm mad at him, too,
so lemon bars it is.

327
00:14:02,317 --> 00:14:04,182
Something happen
at the meeting?

328
00:14:04,184 --> 00:14:06,515
They made me promise
I wouldn't talk.

329
00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:07,624
And you talked?

330
00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:08,850
Well, now, see?

331
00:14:08,851 --> 00:14:11,148
You knew what was gonna
happen. Why didn't they?

332
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,649
Anyway, now we're committed
to completing this project

333
00:14:13,651 --> 00:14:15,616
in a ridiculously
short time frame,

334
00:14:15,618 --> 00:14:17,249
and everyone's
upset with me.

335
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:19,215
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,

336
00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:20,649
Bernadette's mad at me, too.

337
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,749
Mm. If it makes you
feel any better,

338
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:25,682
a parasitoid wasp known
as Oobius depressus

339
00:14:25,684 --> 00:14:28,115
has been rediscovered
after 101 years

340
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,482
of presumed extinction.

341
00:14:31,317 --> 00:14:33,482
Why would that
make me feel better?

342
00:14:33,484 --> 00:14:37,315
Why would your Bernadette
thing make me feel better?

343
00:14:37,317 --> 00:14:38,883
At least mine
was educational.

344
00:14:38,885 --> 00:14:40,916
Okay. Never mind.

345
00:14:40,918 --> 00:14:42,449
Look, I'm sorry.

346
00:14:42,451 --> 00:14:45,048
Tell me why
Bernadette is upset with you.

347
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,849
Well, I told people at work
that she's pregnant.

348
00:14:47,851 --> 00:14:49,916
She wasn't ready
for them to know.

349
00:14:49,918 --> 00:14:51,382
Why would you do that?

350
00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:53,449
Well, it just slipped out.
I feel terrible.

351
00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:55,549
See, that's exactly
what happened to me,

352
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:58,782
except that I said it on
purpose, and I have no regrets.

353
00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:03,449
Is it even possible
to get this done in two months?

354
00:15:03,451 --> 00:15:05,282
Well, maybe. I don't know.
We'll have to work

355
00:15:05,284 --> 00:15:07,415
12 hours a day,
seven days a week.

356
00:15:07,417 --> 00:15:10,215
Which means I won't be able to
make Penny breakfast every day,

357
00:15:10,217 --> 00:15:11,816
and she'll realize
my brioche French toast

358
00:15:11,818 --> 00:15:14,682
was the only thing
keeping her in the marriage.

359
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:16,282
I love your
French toast.

360
00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:17,682
Oh, thanks, man.

361
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,749
So, why did you guys
even agree to the deadline?

362
00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:23,315
We didn't. Sheldon did.

363
00:15:23,317 --> 00:15:24,447
And you just let him?

364
00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:27,283
Well, the colonel said it was
for the good of the country,

365
00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:28,415
and the funding
is substantial.

366
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:30,115
No, but mostly, there
was an awkward pause,

367
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:33,115
and I broke it
by saying, "Okay."

368
00:15:33,117 --> 00:15:37,249
So I guess I won't be
seeing you guys for a while.

369
00:15:37,251 --> 00:15:38,443
Oh, looks like it.

370
00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:39,416
Wow.

371
00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:42,182
You're going off to work with
the military, leaving me behind.

372
00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:45,349
Now I know how
all those army wives feel.

373
00:15:45,351 --> 00:15:47,749
Would you stop?

374
00:15:47,751 --> 00:15:49,883
We're just gonna be on
the other side of campus.

375
00:15:49,885 --> 00:15:52,515
And right here.

376
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:56,883
You are a deeply silly man.

377
00:15:58,050 --> 00:16:00,582
He is so afraid of his feelings.

378
00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:06,874
Oh, hi.

379
00:16:06,897 --> 00:16:08,349
Got a minute?

380
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:10,849
Yeah, come on in.

381
00:16:11,885 --> 00:16:13,982
I just wanted to apologize.

382
00:16:13,984 --> 00:16:16,382
I know what you did
was an accident.

383
00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:19,549
Oh, thank you,
and I'm sorry I lied about it.

384
00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:21,816
For what it's worth,
you're a great liar.

385
00:16:21,818 --> 00:16:23,883
Oh, that's what Amy said.

386
00:16:23,885 --> 00:16:26,515
So what's going on with
the research project?

387
00:16:26,517 --> 00:16:28,816
Are they gonna
let you run it?

388
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:30,982
Well, my boss said
he hadn't decided yet,

389
00:16:30,984 --> 00:16:33,849
so I gently reminded him
that he's an old rich white guy,

390
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:35,515
and I'm a sweet
little pregnant lady

391
00:16:35,517 --> 00:16:38,415
who's not afraid to cry
in front of a jury.

392
00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:41,148
You threatened to sue?

393
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:44,115
Hey, I learned a long time ago,
when you're four feet eleven

394
00:16:44,117 --> 00:16:46,048
and eye level
with every guy's crotch,

395
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:48,482
that's where you punch.

396
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:50,215
That's funny.

397
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,649
I learned something
totally different.

398
00:16:53,818 --> 00:16:55,849
Do you know what?

399
00:16:55,851 --> 00:16:57,782
It's just a research project.

400
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,382
The most important job
in the world

401
00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:00,782
is gonna be raising this child.

402
00:17:00,784 --> 00:17:02,915
It's all I need
to give my life meaning.

403
00:17:02,917 --> 00:17:05,015
Oh, that's so beautiful.

404
00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:06,816
You believe me? Oh, good.

405
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,015
11 more chumps like you,

406
00:17:08,017 --> 00:17:10,215
I'll have the jury
eating out of my hand.

407
00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:15,749
I never realized
this building was classified.

408
00:17:15,751 --> 00:17:18,716
Maybe that's because
it's classified.

409
00:17:20,317 --> 00:17:23,048
Wish we weren't so far
from my parking space.

410
00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:25,848
The way you put away
those lemon bars,

411
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,848
perhaps that's a good thing.

412
00:17:27,850 --> 00:17:31,349
I'd like to reinstate
the you-not-talking rule.

413
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,115
Why? It clearly doesn't work.

414
00:17:35,451 --> 00:17:38,082
I guess this is it.

415
00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:39,782
Is that a retinal scanner?

416
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:41,616
Let's find out.

417
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,308
Howard Wolowitz...
access granted.

418
00:17:45,621 --> 00:17:46,882
No way!
Impressive!

419
00:17:46,884 --> 00:17:48,716
Oh, my turn! My turn!

420
00:17:49,517 --> 00:17:51,616
Leonard Hofstadter...
access granted.

421
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:54,716
I didn't even have
to take my glasses off!

422
00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:00,115
Access denied.

423
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:02,315
It knows!

424
00:18:10,302 --> 00:18:12,367
Oh, oh, oh, oh, guys,
hold me upside down!

425
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:23,282
Howard Wolowitz,
access granted.

426
00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:25,047
Yay!

427
00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:32,174
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man