1
00:00:01,951 --> 00:00:03,149
on the cooling system?

2
00:00:03,151 --> 00:00:04,415
Sure, I'm still figuring out

3
00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:05,615
the thermo-acoustic expander.

4
00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:06,715
Oh, while you do that

5
00:00:06,717 --> 00:00:10,049
I am going to pump
cerebral spinal fluid

6
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:13,248
through my brain cells to remove
the metabolic by-products

7
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,116
of the day's thoughts.

8
00:00:15,118 --> 00:00:17,149
What?

9
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,715
It's called sleep
and it's my bedtime.

10
00:00:18,717 --> 00:00:20,515
Nighty-night, y'all.

11
00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:22,816
Hey, hey, hey,
you're not going anywhere.

12
00:00:22,818 --> 00:00:25,049
We only have two months to
deliver this to the Air Force

13
00:00:25,051 --> 00:00:26,083
because of you.

14
00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:28,849
I know, I was there.

15
00:00:28,851 --> 00:00:30,348
Well, wake up!

16
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,449
We're gonna put in
a lot of late nights.

17
00:00:32,451 --> 00:00:33,782
How late?

18
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,016
Well, I don't know,
midnight, 1:00.

19
00:00:37,018 --> 00:00:38,016
One o'clock?

20
00:00:38,018 --> 00:00:40,282
I'm not a raccoon.

21
00:00:40,284 --> 00:00:43,449
If you're tired,
have some coffee.

22
00:00:43,451 --> 00:00:44,916
What?
You have some coffee.

23
00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:46,615
I am having coffee!

24
00:00:46,617 --> 00:00:48,348
And look how irritable
it's making you!

25
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:50,382
Guys!

26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,248
We're not gonna get anything
done if we start fighting.

27
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:54,415
Now, can you please try
to soldier through?

28
00:00:55,584 --> 00:00:57,116
Fine.

29
00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:13,982
I don't think
I can go much longer.

30
00:01:13,984 --> 00:01:16,049
It's been three and a half
minutes, wake up!

31
00:01:40,904 --> 00:01:46,298
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

32
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:49,246
I had a bad dream that
my best friend became a tyrant

33
00:01:49,248 --> 00:01:51,580
and forced me to stay
up all night to work.

34
00:01:51,582 --> 00:01:53,847
Oh, I had a good dream that
when I carried you to bed,

35
00:01:53,849 --> 00:01:57,179
I let your head hit
the wall and I laughed.

36
00:01:57,181 --> 00:01:58,847
Good morning.

37
00:01:58,849 --> 00:01:59,914
What is this?

38
00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:01,380
Well, we didn't see you
last night,

39
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,613
we're not gonna see you today,

40
00:02:02,615 --> 00:02:04,980
so we thought we could have
breakfast together.

41
00:02:04,982 --> 00:02:05,980
Oh, that is so nice.

42
00:02:05,982 --> 00:02:09,313
Ow, it does hurt!

43
00:02:09,315 --> 00:02:11,647
So, what are you guys
gonna do today?

44
00:02:11,649 --> 00:02:12,647
Well, Sheldon was supposed to go

45
00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:14,346
to this party with me
this afternoon,

46
00:02:14,348 --> 00:02:15,547
but I don't think
that's happening.

47
00:02:15,549 --> 00:02:17,513
Oh, that was never happening.

48
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:19,179
Oh, I'll go.

49
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,947
I like a party.

50
00:02:20,949 --> 00:02:22,980
Well, to be honest, it's not
like a "party" party,

51
00:02:22,982 --> 00:02:24,647
it's more like a gathering

52
00:02:24,649 --> 00:02:26,246
where scientists of different
disciplines get together

53
00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:27,713
to share their work
and keep current

54
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,113
on what's going on
in other fields.

55
00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,480
I don't know why
I called it a party, sorry.

56
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:33,380
It's okay, I'll still go.

57
00:02:33,382 --> 00:02:35,146
You don't think you'll be bored?

58
00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:37,014
Oh, I'll have some wine
and listen to people go on

59
00:02:37,016 --> 00:02:38,246
about crap I don't understand.

60
00:02:38,248 --> 00:02:39,179
I mean, how is it any different

61
00:02:39,181 --> 00:02:41,847
than every
single day of my life?

62
00:02:41,849 --> 00:02:44,014
I won't be there.

63
00:02:44,016 --> 00:02:45,496
Look at that, it is a party.

64
00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:47,095
Oh.

65
00:02:48,415 --> 00:02:50,380
Sorry I have to work
all weekend.

66
00:02:50,382 --> 00:02:51,847
It's okay.

67
00:02:51,849 --> 00:02:54,046
Thanks again for breakfast.

68
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:55,380
Well, I didn't get to
see you last night.

69
00:02:55,382 --> 00:02:57,747
It was the least I could do.

70
00:02:57,749 --> 00:03:00,446
You shouldn't have made
the alarm code his birthday.

71
00:03:03,215 --> 00:03:05,680
So, what should we do today?

72
00:03:05,682 --> 00:03:07,113
Oh, I appreciate it,

73
00:03:07,115 --> 00:03:08,780
but you don't have to
spend your day off with me.

74
00:03:08,782 --> 00:03:10,213
Well, I don't mind.

75
00:03:10,215 --> 00:03:12,513
Oh, you want go to the mall
and look at baby stuff?

76
00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:13,713
Not really.

77
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,179
Oh, come on,
we could share a pretzel

78
00:03:15,181 --> 00:03:19,380
and get sideways glances
from racist old ladies.

79
00:03:19,382 --> 00:03:21,613
I get enough of that
when I take Howard

80
00:03:21,615 --> 00:03:23,480
to my grandmother's
for Christmas.

81
00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:25,580
Oh,

82
00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:28,613
I know, why don't we get started
on clearing out the baby's room?

83
00:03:28,615 --> 00:03:30,013
Isn't it
a little early for that?

84
00:03:30,015 --> 00:03:31,847
You have to
get to it eventually.

85
00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:34,580
Oh, there's so much junk
in there, it's embarrassing.

86
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,780
How can you be
embarrassed around me?

87
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:39,013
I'm gonna be in the room
with you when you give birth.

88
00:03:46,048 --> 00:03:48,113
I don't think you are.

89
00:03:48,115 --> 00:03:50,446
You didn't think I was gonna be
in your kitchen this morning,

90
00:03:50,448 --> 00:03:52,914
yet here I am.

91
00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,979
Psst, hey, kid.

92
00:04:00,981 --> 00:04:02,179
Huh, what?

93
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:06,713
You look tired.

94
00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:08,647
Why don't you have
an energy drink?

95
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,680
Everyone's doing it.

96
00:04:10,682 --> 00:04:14,914
Oh, no, thank you,
those have caffeine in them.

97
00:04:14,916 --> 00:04:16,146
Oh, sorry,

98
00:04:16,148 --> 00:04:18,079
I thought you were cool.

99
00:04:19,782 --> 00:04:21,146
I am cool.

100
00:04:21,148 --> 00:04:22,813
This is Yoo-hoo,

101
00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:25,647
chocolate milk's
delicious watery cousin.

102
00:04:25,649 --> 00:04:27,146
All right.

103
00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:30,046
But if you ever want to feel
like you have superpowers,

104
00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:31,847
try one of these.

105
00:04:31,849 --> 00:04:35,013
Superheroes take
performance-enhancing chemicals?

106
00:04:35,015 --> 00:04:36,146
You bet.

107
00:04:36,148 --> 00:04:38,747
You know why Hulk
is so strong?

108
00:04:38,749 --> 00:04:40,246
Steroids.

109
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,346
You know why Batman
wanders around at night

110
00:04:44,348 --> 00:04:46,547
getting into fights?

111
00:04:46,549 --> 00:04:47,847
Scotch.

112
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:53,313
I am facing
a great deal of work.

113
00:04:53,315 --> 00:04:57,613
And I do like things better when
famous people also like them.

114
00:04:57,615 --> 00:04:59,747
Here.

115
00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:00,880
It's on the house.

116
00:05:00,882 --> 00:05:04,847
The first one's free?

117
00:05:04,849 --> 00:05:07,446
Flash, how do you
stay in business?

118
00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:09,847
You want to know my secret?

119
00:05:09,849 --> 00:05:12,480
I bought stock in Marvel.

120
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,213
Hi, Bert.

121
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:17,313
This is my friend, Penny.

122
00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:17,919
Hi.

123
00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:18,915
Hey, come on in.

124
00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,714
I'll gonna go turn on
some rock music.

125
00:05:21,615 --> 00:05:24,013
That's a geology joke.

126
00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:25,446
Bert's a geologist.

127
00:05:25,448 --> 00:05:27,580
And a joker.

128
00:05:29,815 --> 00:05:31,580
How early are we?

129
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,513
Oh, actually,
we're an hour late.

130
00:05:34,515 --> 00:05:37,647
I suddenly wish
Sheldon was here.

131
00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:43,946
I don't even
know where to begin.

132
00:05:43,948 --> 00:05:46,879
Well, in The Sound of Music,
Julie Andrews says,

133
00:05:46,881 --> 00:05:48,446
"Let's start at
the very beginning.

134
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,747
A very good place to start."

135
00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:53,513
Oh, I was gonna start
at the end.

136
00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:55,013
Thank God you're here.

137
00:05:56,782 --> 00:06:00,580
Well, I think the first thing we
should get rid of is that tone.

138
00:06:00,582 --> 00:06:03,713
Sorry.

139
00:06:03,715 --> 00:06:05,046
I should probably keep this

140
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,380
in case we have a girl.

141
00:06:06,382 --> 00:06:07,513
Oh, that's a nice one.

142
00:06:07,515 --> 00:06:08,946
Was it yours when
you were little?

143
00:06:08,948 --> 00:06:10,346
My dad built it for me.

144
00:06:10,348 --> 00:06:11,846
Wow, it's so cute.

145
00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:14,846
This was the husband
and this was the wife.

146
00:06:14,848 --> 00:06:16,446
They'd go out on
adventures together.

147
00:06:16,448 --> 00:06:17,979
Cruises, skiing,

148
00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:19,213
horseback riding.

149
00:06:19,215 --> 00:06:22,913
That was really me just
duct taping them to our dog.

150
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,480
Oh, and did they have kids?

151
00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:26,913
They did, but the mommy
and daddy didn't like them,

152
00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:28,313
so they shipped them off
to an orphanage

153
00:06:28,315 --> 00:06:30,713
I made out of a shoebox.

154
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:34,580
Yeah, that's not worrisome
at all.

155
00:06:34,582 --> 00:06:37,979
Not every girl dreams
about being a mom.

156
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,813
Sometimes you think
you're never gonna have kids

157
00:06:40,815 --> 00:06:42,780
and one day you wake up
and you're pregnant.

158
00:06:42,782 --> 00:06:44,580
And it doesn't matter that your
career's going great right now

159
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:46,680
and that you and your husband
never even got to go anywhere

160
00:06:46,682 --> 00:06:49,780
taped to a dog!

161
00:06:49,782 --> 00:06:52,647
I skipped spin class for this.

162
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,713
Why is it taking him so long

163
00:06:58,715 --> 00:07:00,747
to get a drink out
of a vending machine?

164
00:07:00,749 --> 00:07:02,480
Oh, it's complicated.

165
00:07:02,482 --> 00:07:03,879
He finds pushing
that little door

166
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:07,079
and reaching up into the machine
uncomfortably intimate.

167
00:07:09,081 --> 00:07:11,146
Gentlemen, I am ready to work.

168
00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:13,913
To quote The Martian, "Let's
science the feces out of this!"

169
00:07:13,915 --> 00:07:15,680
That's The Martian the book

170
00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:17,380
and The Martian the movie,
not Marvin the Martian.

171
00:07:17,382 --> 00:07:18,680
Although to quote
Marvin the Martian,

172
00:07:18,682 --> 00:07:19,946
"I claim this planet

173
00:07:19,948 --> 00:07:21,346
in the name of Mars."

174
00:07:21,348 --> 00:07:24,280
Are you okay?

175
00:07:24,282 --> 00:07:25,946
Oh, I'm fantastic,
never been better.

176
00:07:25,948 --> 00:07:27,313
I had my first energy drink

177
00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:28,747
and I feel great.

178
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:29,680
Hey, you guys want to wrestle?

179
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,413
We can do arm,
thumb, mud, sumo.

180
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:33,979
Nah, we're not fat enough,
or wearing diapers.

181
00:07:36,981 --> 00:07:38,246
You wanted him awake.

182
00:07:50,358 --> 00:07:55,122
So should we talk
to each other or mingle?

183
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,989
I don't know where everyone is.

184
00:07:56,991 --> 00:07:58,022
Yeah, I mean,

185
00:07:58,024 --> 00:08:00,289
I could see him eating
one or two guests,

186
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:03,089
but not a whole party.

187
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,322
Well, I guess this is
kind of a bust.

188
00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:07,055
You don't have to stay.

189
00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:09,289
I'm gonna start cleaning up.

190
00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:10,623
Okay.

191
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,689
I feel so bad about
leaving him here.

192
00:08:12,691 --> 00:08:16,322
Oh, it's funny, I was just thinking
the same thing about you.

193
00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:17,389
Hey, listen,

194
00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:19,689
could you not
say anything about this

195
00:08:19,691 --> 00:08:21,422
to the people at the university?

196
00:08:21,424 --> 00:08:23,156
You know, 'cause...

197
00:08:23,158 --> 00:08:26,322
you're you and I'm me,
and it's kind of embarrassing.

198
00:08:26,324 --> 00:08:28,623
Wait, what do you mean
"she's her"?

199
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,523
Well, you know how Amy's the
coolest girl on campus, right?

200
00:08:31,525 --> 00:08:33,256
No.
No.

201
00:08:33,258 --> 00:08:35,322
Oh yeah, everybody thinks so.

202
00:08:35,324 --> 00:08:36,789
What?

203
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:41,689
You tell me about your foot
fungus, but this is a secret?

204
00:08:41,691 --> 00:08:43,989
I'm sure it's just
'cause I'm dating Sheldon.

205
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,623
Mm, actually, I think Sheldon's
popular because he's dating you.

206
00:08:49,591 --> 00:08:51,356
Now Sheldon's popular?

207
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:53,955
What is happening?

208
00:08:56,991 --> 00:08:58,755
Maybe we should break for lunch.

209
00:08:58,757 --> 00:08:59,755
What time is it?

210
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:06,589
According to the world's worst
cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.

211
00:09:06,591 --> 00:09:08,955
My head hurts

212
00:09:08,957 --> 00:09:11,089
and I'm more tired than ever.

213
00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:12,523
Why don't you just go home?

214
00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:14,122
No, I can do this.

215
00:09:14,124 --> 00:09:17,688
I just, I just need
another energy drink.

216
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,523
Oh, no.

217
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:20,755
What?

218
00:09:20,757 --> 00:09:22,256
I want another one.

219
00:09:22,258 --> 00:09:23,256
So?

220
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,022
That's a craving.

221
00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:28,055
That's a sign of
chemical dependency.

222
00:09:28,057 --> 00:09:29,589
You only had one.

223
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:30,722
No, I know,

224
00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:31,989
but plenty of
things are addictive

225
00:09:31,991 --> 00:09:33,655
after a single exposure.

226
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,655
I mean, crack cocaine,
nicotine, Pringles.

227
00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:40,623
You know once one pops
one just can't stop.

228
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:43,189
You can't develop
a problem that fast.

229
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,422
You want to bet?
Oh, great,

230
00:09:44,424 --> 00:09:45,755
now I'm addicted to gambling.

231
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,256
We can't afford to lose
any more time.

232
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:55,922
Well, this probably won't
work, but has anyone ever tried

233
00:09:55,924 --> 00:09:59,855
to just haul off and
whoop the crazy out of him?

234
00:09:59,857 --> 00:10:02,722
That's not helpful.

235
00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:05,322
It's fun to think about,
but it's not helpful.

236
00:10:06,525 --> 00:10:09,789
Hey, Sheldon, we are on
a serious time crunch.

237
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,356
We can't do this
without you.

238
00:10:11,358 --> 00:10:12,855
Can you please
pull it together?

239
00:10:12,857 --> 00:10:14,922
I'm sorry.
Yes, of course.

240
00:10:14,924 --> 00:10:16,955
Thank you.

241
00:10:16,957 --> 00:10:20,089
Just, please, bear with me
if I display symptoms

242
00:10:20,091 --> 00:10:22,022
of caffeine withdrawal.

243
00:10:22,024 --> 00:10:24,322
No worries.

244
00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:47,089
You guys stink.

245
00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:50,256
Sorry I flipped out on you.

246
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,955
I think it's just hormones.

247
00:10:51,957 --> 00:10:53,456
I think you were mean
before you were pregnant,

248
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:54,588
but it's fine.

249
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:59,156
So, uh, instead of
cleaning out the room,

250
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,555
why don't we just decide
on a theme for the nursery?

251
00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:03,022
Does it really need one?

252
00:11:03,024 --> 00:11:04,588
Of course it does.

253
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,555
Didn't your baby room
have a theme?

254
00:11:06,557 --> 00:11:08,588
Well, it doubled
as my dad's office,

255
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,456
and he was a cop,
so I guess the theme was

256
00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:12,989
bloody homicide photos.

257
00:11:12,991 --> 00:11:17,055
Oh. Mine was
Winnie the Pooh.

258
00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:19,989
But anyway...

259
00:11:19,991 --> 00:11:22,222
why don't we just
take a step back

260
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,389
and start with a color?

261
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,055
Right? There are
so many amazing ones.

262
00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:28,022
Red, blue, green, purple...

263
00:11:28,024 --> 00:11:29,655
Are you just gonna name
all the colors?

264
00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:32,822
Well, not now.

265
00:11:33,991 --> 00:11:36,055
I don't care what color
the room is.

266
00:11:36,057 --> 00:11:38,055
Okay, well, I'm just
trying to help you.

267
00:11:38,057 --> 00:11:40,189
Well, you're not,
so just drop it!

268
00:11:43,524 --> 00:11:46,022
I'm clearly upset.
Why aren't you following me?

269
00:11:46,024 --> 00:11:49,222
Sorry! Sorry!

270
00:11:50,324 --> 00:11:53,122
And when Amy started using
a solution of chromic acid

271
00:11:53,124 --> 00:11:56,089
and white vinegar to clean
all her lab equipment,

272
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:59,755
all of a sudden,
everybody was doing it.

273
00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:02,889
You trend setter!

274
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:06,189
Just the right idea
at the right time.

275
00:12:06,191 --> 00:12:08,688
Okay, okay, so Amy's cool,
Sheldon's cool.

276
00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:10,889
Tell me about Leonard.
Who?

277
00:12:12,957 --> 00:12:14,356
Leonard Hofstadter.

278
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:17,488
Oh, him.
I guess he's all right.

279
00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,989
Apparently he tricked some
hot girl into marrying him.

280
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,022
That's me, I'm her.

281
00:12:24,024 --> 00:12:25,189
You know, he
didn't trick me.

282
00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:27,456
He just wore me down.

283
00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:30,222
It makes sense
you two are friends.

284
00:12:30,224 --> 00:12:32,322
I mean, hot girls
always stick together.

285
00:12:35,158 --> 00:12:36,488
And you thought this
wasn't gonna be

286
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:38,922
a great party.

287
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,222
You know, I had no idea

288
00:12:40,224 --> 00:12:43,189
Caltech is exactly
like my high school.

289
00:12:43,191 --> 00:12:45,156
Well, it's not
exactly like it.

290
00:12:45,158 --> 00:12:48,156
We're all
extremely smart.

291
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:51,422
Wow... you popular
girls are mean.

292
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,189
I'm gonna get some coffee.
You want some?

293
00:12:57,191 --> 00:12:59,889
Uh, you're really going to
have caffeine in front of me

294
00:12:59,891 --> 00:13:02,089
when I'm trying to get
my life back on track?

295
00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:06,389
Uh, okay, let's pretend
you do have a problem.

296
00:13:06,391 --> 00:13:07,389
I do.
You don't.

297
00:13:07,391 --> 00:13:10,156
Yeah, but I do.
No, you don't!

298
00:13:10,158 --> 00:13:11,389
But let's say you do.

299
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,055
And don't say you do,
because you don't!

300
00:13:14,724 --> 00:13:17,322
Now, wouldn't you think
that throwing yourself

301
00:13:17,324 --> 00:13:19,688
into your work would be
the best way to deal with it?

302
00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:22,022
With what?
Your problem.

303
00:13:22,024 --> 00:13:23,989
I thought I didn't have
a problem.

304
00:13:29,057 --> 00:13:30,989
That was painful
to watch.

305
00:13:35,457 --> 00:13:36,655
So where are we going?

306
00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:38,089
I don't know.

307
00:13:38,091 --> 00:13:39,189
Okay.

308
00:13:39,191 --> 00:13:42,855
How Thelma and Louise of us.

309
00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:46,089
Raj, why don't I care
about anything?

310
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,089
I'm sorry?

311
00:13:47,091 --> 00:13:48,922
It's my baby.

312
00:13:48,924 --> 00:13:51,421
I-I should care about
nurseries and colors,

313
00:13:51,423 --> 00:13:53,555
and I don't...
what's wrong with me?

314
00:13:53,557 --> 00:13:58,022
Well, crime-scene photos
near your crib spring to mind.

315
00:13:58,024 --> 00:14:00,222
I keep waiting
to feel excited,

316
00:14:00,224 --> 00:14:01,555
but it's not happening.

317
00:14:01,557 --> 00:14:04,955
What if it
never happens?

318
00:14:04,957 --> 00:14:07,022
Bernadette,
come on, look,

319
00:14:07,024 --> 00:14:09,322
you're overthinking this,
okay?

320
00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:11,522
You're gonna be
an amazing mom.

321
00:14:11,524 --> 00:14:12,755
Even if you don't
believe it,

322
00:14:12,757 --> 00:14:15,089
I know you have
maternal instincts.

323
00:14:15,091 --> 00:14:17,588
Once, I was supposed
to babysit my brothers.

324
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,488
Our neighbor found them
naked in the backyard

325
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,055
eating crickets.

326
00:14:22,957 --> 00:14:24,355
Happy and well-fed.

327
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:26,421
You see, that's what
I'm taking from that story.

328
00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:33,488
Leonard, can I ask you
a question?

329
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,989
Is it about the
rotational symmetries

330
00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,156
you should be
figuring out

331
00:14:36,158 --> 00:14:37,755
or your fake
caffeine problem?

332
00:14:39,857 --> 00:14:42,955
Howard, can I ask you
a question?

333
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:44,855
No.

334
00:14:45,991 --> 00:14:47,488
All right, I'll just
toss this out to the room.

335
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:49,789
Um, I was thinking
that the best way

336
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:51,522
to fight my addiction is by

337
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,388
weaning myself off in steps.

338
00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:55,455
Now, I couldn't find
a caffeine patch,

339
00:14:55,457 --> 00:14:57,855
but I did find
what claims to be

340
00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,922
a mind-boosting
caffeine suppository.

341
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:03,055
Yeah.

342
00:15:03,057 --> 00:15:05,089
You know, the interesting fact
about the rectum...

343
00:15:05,091 --> 00:15:06,722
Sheldon!

344
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,388
We are dealing with
an impossible deadline

345
00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:11,955
from the Air Force
because of you.

346
00:15:11,957 --> 00:15:14,822
So have an energy drink,
don't have an energy drink.

347
00:15:14,824 --> 00:15:16,156
Order suppositories
and shove 'em

348
00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:18,688
wherever you want,
I don't care!

349
00:15:20,624 --> 00:15:21,622
You don't shove them.

350
00:15:21,624 --> 00:15:23,421
They come with an
easy-glide applicator.

351
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:28,789
Right.
Listen to me.

352
00:15:28,791 --> 00:15:30,889
We can't do anything
until you do your part.

353
00:15:30,891 --> 00:15:33,455
So get up in front of
this whiteboard and do it!

354
00:15:33,457 --> 00:15:35,688
I can't.
Yes, you can.

355
00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,488
No...

356
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:39,655
I can't figure out
the math.

357
00:15:39,657 --> 00:15:41,222
I've been racking
my brain for days,

358
00:15:41,224 --> 00:15:44,189
and I've got nothing.

359
00:15:45,258 --> 00:15:46,288
Seriously?

360
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:47,889
I can't do it.

361
00:15:47,891 --> 00:15:49,989
I'm not as smart
as I think I am.

362
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:53,522
I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.

363
00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:58,989
It's okay, we'll
figure something out.

364
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,789
But what if we can't?

365
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:05,156
It'll be fine.
You'll see.

366
00:16:10,624 --> 00:16:12,488
Sheldon?

367
00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:17,189
Buddy?

368
00:16:22,224 --> 00:16:23,655
When the baby gets here,

369
00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:26,288
you gotta teach me that.

370
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:32,055
Thank you so much, Bert.
This was great.

371
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,355
My pleasure.

372
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:34,555
You girls want
to take home

373
00:16:34,557 --> 00:16:36,955
a two-gallon tub
of potato salad?

374
00:16:38,423 --> 00:16:40,955
I think we're good.

375
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:42,755
Okay, well,
thanks for coming by.

376
00:16:42,757 --> 00:16:43,822
You're nice people.

377
00:16:43,824 --> 00:16:46,488
Well, so are you.
In fact, you know what?

378
00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:49,822
We will never
take you for granite.

379
00:16:49,824 --> 00:16:52,922
Did you get that?
Granite?

380
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:55,789
A little geology joke.

381
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:57,189
You need to leave.

382
00:16:57,191 --> 00:16:58,522
I'm in love
with both of you now.

383
00:16:58,524 --> 00:17:00,321
Okay.
Bye.

384
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:05,421
Uh, pull over.

385
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:07,156
What? Why?
Who are you calling?

386
00:17:07,158 --> 00:17:09,355
You're gonna rat me out
to Howard, aren't you?

387
00:17:09,357 --> 00:17:12,688
You're such a snitch,
no wonder I don't like you.

388
00:17:13,924 --> 00:17:16,922
Whoa, I'm calling
my dad, okay?

389
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:19,156
He's got experience
dealing with pregnant ladies

390
00:17:19,158 --> 00:17:20,555
because he's an OBGYN.

391
00:17:20,557 --> 00:17:22,288
And experience
with crazy ladies

392
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,622
because of my mom.

393
00:17:25,924 --> 00:17:27,522
Hello, Rajesh.

394
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,922
Are you calling
to ask for money?

395
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:29,855
What? No.

396
00:17:29,857 --> 00:17:30,989
Are you calling to ask
for things

397
00:17:30,991 --> 00:17:33,055
that cost money?
No.

398
00:17:33,057 --> 00:17:35,022
Great. What's up?

399
00:17:35,024 --> 00:17:37,555
This is my friend,
Bernadette.

400
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,755
She's pregnant,
and she's a bit worried,

401
00:17:39,757 --> 00:17:41,355
so I thought maybe
you could talk to her.

402
00:17:41,357 --> 00:17:43,922
Of course.
What seems to be the trouble?

403
00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:45,055
Something's wrong.

404
00:17:45,057 --> 00:17:47,355
I don't care about
any of the baby stuff

405
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,755
every other mom is so into.

406
00:17:49,757 --> 00:17:53,122
Honestly, I'm not even sure
I like babies.

407
00:17:53,124 --> 00:17:55,122
Look, some people are
baby people,

408
00:17:55,124 --> 00:17:57,188
and some people
are not baby people.

409
00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:59,522
It doesn't mean you won't
love your own baby.

410
00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:02,221
But I thought I'd be
more excited.

411
00:18:02,223 --> 00:18:06,022
Oh, being excited
isn't a guarantee of anything.

412
00:18:06,024 --> 00:18:09,022
Rajesh's mother was thrilled
when she was pregnant with him.

413
00:18:09,024 --> 00:18:12,455
After he was born, she doted
on his every move.

414
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:13,722
And you know what happened?

415
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,922
He broke her heart,
moved halfway around the world,

416
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,889
and dates only
poor white women.

417
00:18:20,757 --> 00:18:22,688
So you never know.

418
00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:25,622
Thank you.
I feel better now.

419
00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:27,722
- I don't!
- Good.

420
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:30,522
Bernadette, I hope
you have a daughter.

421
00:18:39,174 --> 00:18:42,672
Um, I don't really know
how to say this.

422
00:18:42,674 --> 00:18:44,339
Well, you could try
starting with "sir".

423
00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:46,339
Right. Sorry, sir.

424
00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:49,006
He said start with it,
not end with it.

425
00:18:50,608 --> 00:18:52,077
- Sir...
- Hmm?

426
00:18:52,078 --> 00:18:53,775
We've hit a bit
of a snag.

427
00:18:53,777 --> 00:18:55,709
We're already behind schedule.

428
00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:58,875
The computations required
to overcome

429
00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:00,275
the deployability issues

430
00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:02,609
are more significant
than we thought.

431
00:19:02,611 --> 00:19:04,642
I understand that
we're under contract,

432
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,242
and I don't know what
the consequences

433
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:08,308
of violating that are,
but, uh...

434
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:10,809
we're not gonna
be able to deliver

435
00:19:10,811 --> 00:19:12,375
in the time we promised.

436
00:19:19,077 --> 00:19:20,775
How long do you need?

437
00:19:22,177 --> 00:19:25,976
We-We're thinking...
two years.

438
00:19:28,744 --> 00:19:29,942
All right.

439
00:19:31,477 --> 00:19:33,042
That's it?

440
00:19:33,043 --> 00:19:34,442
You're okay with that?

441
00:19:34,444 --> 00:19:36,909
You think you're
the first government contractor

442
00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:39,141
who isn't gonna deliver
on time?

443
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:40,809
We're still waiting
for a big space laser

444
00:19:40,811 --> 00:19:43,609
Reagan ordered
to beat the commies.

445
00:19:45,244 --> 00:19:46,675
Thanks for understanding,
sir.

446
00:19:46,677 --> 00:19:48,375
Yes, thank you
so much.

447
00:19:48,377 --> 00:19:50,642
We-We really
appreciate it.

448
00:19:52,043 --> 00:19:53,075
All right,
pressure's off

449
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:54,242
Wanna see a movie?

450
00:19:54,244 --> 00:19:56,075
Popcorn's on me.

451
00:19:56,567 --> 00:20:03,360
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man