1
00:00:01,213 --> 00:00:03,357
Cohabitation with my girlfriend?

2
00:00:03,358 --> 00:00:05,247
That's a great deal
to process.

3
00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:05,791
Hmm?

4
00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,390
It's only for five weeks.

5
00:00:07,392 --> 00:00:08,690
Let me appeal
to the scientist in you.

6
00:00:08,692 --> 00:00:10,723
Given the five-week
end date,

7
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:13,690
isn't it the perfect opportunity
to consider this an experiment

8
00:00:13,692 --> 00:00:15,757
and collect data
on our compatibility?

9
00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:18,857
Don't try luring me
in with sexy talk.

10
00:00:18,859 --> 00:00:20,523
Okay.

11
00:00:20,525 --> 00:00:21,990
Star Trek: The Original Series.

12
00:00:21,992 --> 00:00:23,857
The Enterprise was
on a five-year mission

13
00:00:23,859 --> 00:00:24,990
to explore new worlds.

14
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,189
Think of this
as your personal

15
00:00:26,191 --> 00:00:28,590
five-week mission
to do the same.

16
00:00:28,592 --> 00:00:33,056
Oh, you want to lure me in with
sexy talk, that's how you do it.

17
00:00:33,058 --> 00:00:34,690
Okay, why don't you guys
stay across the hall

18
00:00:34,692 --> 00:00:36,423
and we will
live here?

19
00:00:37,859 --> 00:00:39,556
Very well. I'm on board.

20
00:00:39,558 --> 00:00:41,089
- Seriously?
- Yes.

21
00:00:41,091 --> 00:00:42,623
I accept this
five-week mission

22
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,456
to share a living space
with my girlfriend.

23
00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:45,957
Oh. This is so exciting.

24
00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:47,989
Well, now, don't be surprised
if, like Star Trek,

25
00:00:47,991 --> 00:00:51,323
it's canceled in three.

26
00:00:52,825 --> 00:00:55,290
Okay, I'm confused.

27
00:00:55,292 --> 00:00:56,757
Which one is Mr. Robot?

28
00:00:56,759 --> 00:00:58,189
I'll give you a hint.

29
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,690
We're watching
Daredevil.

30
00:01:00,692 --> 00:01:04,189
Will you two please inform Amy
how much you enjoy

31
00:01:04,191 --> 00:01:06,523
adhering
to a strict bathroom schedule?

32
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,556
- Can't.
- Won't.

33
00:01:07,558 --> 00:01:08,790
- Didn't.
- Don't.

34
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,056
I told you,

35
00:01:10,058 --> 00:01:12,857
you can't regulate every aspect
of our lives.

36
00:01:12,859 --> 00:01:16,623
I can if you'd just roll over
and accept your fate.

37
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:19,089
I'm sorry
for bringing this over here.

38
00:01:19,091 --> 00:01:20,790
Believe me, we know
what you're going through.

39
00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:23,390
And I-I think the most helpful
thing we can tell you is

40
00:01:23,392 --> 00:01:24,610
no backsies.

41
00:01:24,634 --> 00:01:26,424
Mm-hmm.

42
00:01:26,425 --> 00:01:27,757
Sheldon,
I understand

43
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:29,189
that you like things
a certain way

44
00:01:29,191 --> 00:01:30,857
and I'm willing
to make some concessions,

45
00:01:30,859 --> 00:01:33,256
but you have to be open
to compromise.

46
00:01:33,258 --> 00:01:34,757
She's right.
That's reasonable.

47
00:01:34,759 --> 00:01:36,556
Oh, look who's in
favor of compromise,

48
00:01:36,558 --> 00:01:39,956
the woman who married
Leonard Hofstadter.

49
00:01:39,958 --> 00:01:42,189
Hey, she didn't
compromise.

50
00:01:42,191 --> 00:01:44,857
She settled.
There's a difference.

51
00:01:45,592 --> 00:01:48,123
Yeah. You tell him, babe.

52
00:02:11,155 --> 00:02:16,949
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

53
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:18,534
What time do you
and Bernadette head out?

54
00:02:18,552 --> 00:02:20,083
As soon as I get home.

55
00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:21,517
We're hoping to make it
before dark.

56
00:02:21,519 --> 00:02:23,283
I've never been
to Palm Springs.

57
00:02:23,285 --> 00:02:24,617
Oh, you
should go.

58
00:02:24,619 --> 00:02:26,883
It's terrific.
I-I really thrive anywhere

59
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:30,417
the women and the temperature
are over 90.

60
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,684
I don't know.

61
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,283
If I want to watch
old people sweat,

62
00:02:34,285 --> 00:02:37,483
I can just FaceTime
my family in India.

63
00:02:38,452 --> 00:02:39,450
It's nice you

64
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:41,383
and Bernadette are getting away.

65
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:44,016
Well, she wants us to
spend more time together

66
00:02:44,018 --> 00:02:45,383
before the baby comes.

67
00:02:45,385 --> 00:02:47,784
So then what are you doing here
buying comic books?

68
00:02:47,786 --> 00:02:50,250
Well, he wants us to
spend more time together

69
00:02:50,252 --> 00:02:52,317
before the baby comes.

70
00:02:54,485 --> 00:02:56,784
When you live with someone,
there's gonna be conflict.

71
00:02:56,786 --> 00:02:59,617
You just have
to keep communicating.

72
00:02:59,619 --> 00:03:01,216
I'm open to that.

73
00:03:01,218 --> 00:03:03,717
Okay. Well, for starters,

74
00:03:03,719 --> 00:03:06,250
there's nothing wrong
with keeping our toothbrushes

75
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:07,949
in the same holder.

76
00:03:08,786 --> 00:03:11,350
Sheldon, what do you say
to that?

77
00:03:11,352 --> 00:03:13,317
I think we should
see other people.

78
00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:17,115
What?

79
00:03:17,116 --> 00:03:20,251
Well, as a male, I have
an evolutionary drive

80
00:03:20,252 --> 00:03:22,016
to perpetuate my DNA.

81
00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:25,750
Restricting myself to a single
partner is against my nature.

82
00:03:27,419 --> 00:03:29,116
We sleep together once a year!

83
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:31,650
You want other partners?

84
00:03:31,652 --> 00:03:34,583
Don't blame me.
Blame your pal, biology.

85
00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:37,116
He's the pervert pulling
the strings here.

86
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,661
You wanna see other people?
Go see other people.

87
00:03:41,098 --> 00:03:44,417
I hope one of those people is a
monkey, 'cause this is bananas.

88
00:03:45,695 --> 00:03:47,357
You can make jokes,
but if this keeps up,

89
00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:48,563
he's gonna move
back in here.

90
00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:50,350
All right. Well, let's just get them
apart for a while

91
00:03:50,352 --> 00:03:51,363
so they can cool down.

92
00:03:51,387 --> 00:03:52,251
Good.

93
00:03:52,252 --> 00:03:53,816
Then before we
reintroduce them,

94
00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:55,016
we'll give him one
of her sweaters

95
00:03:55,018 --> 00:03:57,517
so he can get used
to her scent again.

96
00:03:58,511 --> 00:04:01,116
So it's okay for you
to joke around?

97
00:04:01,118 --> 00:04:02,717
No, that's actually
what we did with him

98
00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:04,849
when Howard came
back from space.

99
00:04:07,052 --> 00:04:09,383
Honey, how ya feeling?

100
00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:15,517
The book says at this stage
of the pregnancy

101
00:04:15,519 --> 00:04:17,849
morning sickness
should be going away.

102
00:04:21,818 --> 00:04:24,783
So that's good news, right?

103
00:04:24,785 --> 00:04:28,517
The only thing I hate more than
you right now is that book!

104
00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:35,816
There she is!

105
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:38,717
Who's ready for a hot,

106
00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:42,150
three-hour car ride
to the desert?

107
00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:45,650
Next vomit is gonna be
in your lap.

108
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,317
I'm sorry.

109
00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:50,283
We don't have to go.

110
00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:52,483
But it's our last chance
to take a vacation

111
00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:54,749
that's just the two of us.

112
00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:56,916
How 'bout we stay here?

113
00:04:56,918 --> 00:04:58,617
We don't even have
to tell anyone.

114
00:04:58,619 --> 00:05:01,650
It'll be like
a secret vacation at home.

115
00:05:03,027 --> 00:05:04,151
Keeping secrets
from our friends...

116
00:05:04,152 --> 00:05:06,250
that does sound
kinda fun.

117
00:05:06,252 --> 00:05:09,550
Does it sound... sexy?

118
00:05:14,352 --> 00:05:17,783
You just heard me
throwing up.

119
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:21,116
You bet I did.

120
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:29,749
You're so weird.

121
00:05:29,751 --> 00:05:31,783
You know what's weird?

122
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,583
How turned on
you are right now.

123
00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:43,116
You know, people are quick
to accuse me

124
00:05:43,118 --> 00:05:44,517
of being difficult
to live with,

125
00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:47,216
but the truth is,
Amy is just as challenging.

126
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:49,617
Just as challenging.

127
00:05:49,619 --> 00:05:50,783
Yes.

128
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,583
As you.

129
00:05:53,585 --> 00:05:54,949
Yes.

130
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:57,749
Just as challenging as you.

131
00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:01,116
When we're sleeping,

132
00:06:01,118 --> 00:06:02,550
she breathes on me.

133
00:06:02,552 --> 00:06:04,883
One night, it got so bad
I almost grabbed Toto

134
00:06:04,885 --> 00:06:07,317
and headed for the storm cellar.

135
00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:09,317
Leonard breathes on me, too.

136
00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:10,883
It's not a big deal.

137
00:06:10,885 --> 00:06:12,716
She's always complaining
about people at work.

138
00:06:12,718 --> 00:06:14,383
Well, so does Leonard.

139
00:06:14,385 --> 00:06:16,216
It's kind of annoying, but
it's not the end of the world.

140
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:17,983
Do you know that when I get out
of the shower,

141
00:06:17,985 --> 00:06:21,583
she eyes me up and down
like I'm a piece of meat?

142
00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:22,816
You know, so does Leonard.

143
00:06:22,818 --> 00:06:24,116
Can't I just get ready
in the morning

144
00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:25,983
without him giving me
his goofy thumbs-up?

145
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,383
"Hey."

146
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:30,083
I know.

147
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,183
Sometimes I would just like
to be appreciated for my mind.

148
00:06:32,185 --> 00:06:35,583
Agreed!
Thank you!

149
00:06:38,018 --> 00:06:40,483
That feels great.

150
00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:41,816
Well,

151
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,383
pulling a quarter out
of your ear

152
00:06:43,385 --> 00:06:46,317
isn't the only magic
these hands can do.

153
00:06:46,319 --> 00:06:49,849
In fact, wh-what's this

154
00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:53,083
between your toes?

155
00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:56,949
Can you please stop making money
come out of me for two minutes?

156
00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:04,350
Was that the front door?

157
00:07:04,352 --> 00:07:06,350
It sounded like it.

158
00:07:06,352 --> 00:07:09,050
Oh, my God.
Someone's in the house.

159
00:07:09,052 --> 00:07:11,250
Lock the door, lock the door!

160
00:07:12,718 --> 00:07:14,949
- We should call the police.
- Uh...

161
00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:16,716
I left my phone downstairs.

162
00:07:16,718 --> 00:07:18,250
Damn, so did I.

163
00:07:18,252 --> 00:07:20,116
Wait, I have my iPad!
What are we gonna do,

164
00:07:20,118 --> 00:07:22,383
e-mail 911?

165
00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:24,050
That's not helpful!

166
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,050
You know I rely

167
00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:26,916
on humor in times of stress.

168
00:07:26,918 --> 00:07:29,483
Let me know when you start,
because that wasn't funny!

169
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,417
Is that the hot tub?

170
00:07:36,252 --> 00:07:38,749
Who would use
our hot tub?

171
00:07:40,018 --> 00:07:43,150
Well, the answer is both
more and less disturbing

172
00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,916
than you think.

173
00:07:44,918 --> 00:07:46,016
Who is it?

174
00:07:46,018 --> 00:07:47,183
Stuart.

175
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,983
He heard me talking
about us going away.

176
00:07:52,985 --> 00:07:56,517
I guess he decided
to invite himself over?

177
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,383
Should we say something to him?

178
00:07:58,385 --> 00:08:00,483
Maybe. How 'bout,

179
00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:05,016
"Hey, you look like
a boiled chicken breast"?

180
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,683
I meant like, "What
are you doing here?"

181
00:08:08,685 --> 00:08:12,050
Nah, that's not gonna
hurt his feelings.

182
00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:15,549
Why is nothing easy
with him?

183
00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:19,816
Look, here's the thing you need
to understand about Sheldon:

184
00:08:19,818 --> 00:08:22,283
he's the worst.

185
00:08:22,285 --> 00:08:25,517
I prefer to think of it
as high-maintenance.

186
00:08:25,519 --> 00:08:27,450
I prefer to think of myself
as five-ten,

187
00:08:27,452 --> 00:08:29,716
but I still need to get
all my pants hemmed.

188
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:33,417
I guess I should have known
what I was getting myself into.

189
00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:34,883
Don't beat yourself up.

190
00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:36,883
You've never lived
with anyone before.

191
00:08:36,885 --> 00:08:38,883
That's true.
And you're starting out

192
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,883
with Sheldon Cooper.

193
00:08:40,885 --> 00:08:43,549
That's like getting your first
pet and having it be...

194
00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:45,549
I don't know...

195
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:48,816
What's a kind of pet
that ruins your life?

196
00:08:48,818 --> 00:08:51,350
You're not making me
feel better.

197
00:08:51,352 --> 00:08:54,116
Look, even when Penny and I
started living together,

198
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,849
there was a-a learning curve.

199
00:08:55,851 --> 00:08:58,483
But I promise you,
it does get easier.

200
00:08:58,485 --> 00:09:00,417
He put a sign up in the bathroom
that says,

201
00:09:00,419 --> 00:09:04,383
"Number of days
without Amy's hair on the soap."

202
00:09:05,218 --> 00:09:06,749
Yeah.

203
00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:09,783
My record was six.

204
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,949
Is it me,
or is there something fun

205
00:09:13,951 --> 00:09:16,183
about watching him
just float there?

206
00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,649
Maybe this is why
people get fish tanks.

207
00:09:23,751 --> 00:09:25,549
Who just turned
the porch lights on?

208
00:09:25,551 --> 00:09:27,716
Is someone else here?

209
00:09:30,518 --> 00:09:33,083
Hmm. They must have left
the tub on.

210
00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:34,916
Good thing I stopped by.

211
00:09:49,352 --> 00:09:52,016
Ah!

212
00:10:06,576 --> 00:10:08,875
What are you doing here?

213
00:10:09,584 --> 00:10:11,715
What are you doing here?

214
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,724
Maybe Howard and Bernadette said
I could be here!

215
00:10:15,726 --> 00:10:17,658
Did they?

216
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:20,358
Answer the question!
What are you doing here?

217
00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:24,158
I had nothing else
to do tonight.

218
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,658
The last couple of months,

219
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,025
I come here when I
know they're not home.

220
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,058
What?

221
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,591
They heard me in
the bushes once,

222
00:10:30,593 --> 00:10:32,825
but they thought
it was a raccoon.

223
00:10:34,127 --> 00:10:36,624
I told you raccoons
don't say "Uh-oh."

224
00:10:39,393 --> 00:10:42,225
You know, one night, Leonard's
nose whistled so loud,

225
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:45,391
I swear it was like
sleeping on a train track.

226
00:10:45,393 --> 00:10:47,181
Have you noticed
it's always an A-flat?

227
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,692
Is it?

228
00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:50,325
Oh!

229
00:10:50,327 --> 00:10:52,724
It's like his sinuses
are right here in the car.

230
00:10:52,726 --> 00:10:55,891
If we're just going
to drive around aimlessly,

231
00:10:55,893 --> 00:10:58,125
the least you could do is
take me for ice cream.

232
00:10:58,127 --> 00:10:59,791
Yeah, I'll take you
for ice cream.

233
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,424
Well, see, why can't Amy be
that subservient?

234
00:11:02,426 --> 00:11:06,258
She has coitus one time,
suddenly she's Gloria Steinem.

235
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:09,958
Anyway, I suppose an ice cream
parlor will be a good place

236
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,325
to meet other women.

237
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,091
Oh, please, you're
barely interested

238
00:11:13,093 --> 00:11:14,758
in a physical relationship
with one person.

239
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,624
Why would you want to confuse
and disappoint others?

240
00:11:18,626 --> 00:11:22,457
Being with Amy has awoken
the sexual creature within.

241
00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:25,791
When I see a pretty gal walking
down the street, I think,

242
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:28,791
"hubba hubba"
like any other guy.

243
00:11:28,793 --> 00:11:31,891
You kiss your mother
with that mouth?

244
00:11:31,893 --> 00:11:33,158
'Cause it's fine.

245
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:37,858
Here you go.

246
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,058
Thank you.

247
00:11:41,393 --> 00:11:43,025
Shall we toast?

248
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:45,491
To Howard and Bernadette,

249
00:11:45,493 --> 00:11:48,691
and the house key they
never asked me to return.

250
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:52,225
You said you got it back.

251
00:11:52,227 --> 00:11:55,658
Well, clearly, I lied.

252
00:11:57,227 --> 00:11:58,591
So how's your apartment?

253
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,591
Not great. The
electricity's out.

254
00:12:00,593 --> 00:12:02,258
So why don't you get it fixed?

255
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:07,025
I called, and they're
like, "Pay your bill!"

256
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,158
Of you ever need somewhere to
crash, there's always my place.

257
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,324
Oh, no. I don't want
to be an inconvenience.

258
00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:15,258
You've got all your
lady friends, and...

259
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:17,225
Actually, I'm single now.

260
00:12:17,227 --> 00:12:18,391
What?

261
00:12:18,393 --> 00:12:19,658
When did that happen?

262
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:21,558
It's okay. It's by choice.

263
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,825
Well, their choice,
and it's not okay.

264
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,424
Oh. Sorry.
I didn't know.

265
00:12:27,426 --> 00:12:31,158
Nobody does. I was embarrassed
so I didn't say anything.

266
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,058
Why wouldn't he tell us?

267
00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:35,058
Are we bad friends?

268
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,457
He's in our hot tub
drinking our wine.

269
00:12:37,459 --> 00:12:40,125
Yeah, he deserves
to be alone.

270
00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:44,357
So you're back out
on the dating scene now?

271
00:12:44,359 --> 00:12:46,324
Yeah, yeah, a little.

272
00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:48,192
Oh, that must be fun.
How's that going?

273
00:12:48,194 --> 00:12:50,858
I'm in a hot tub with you,
so pretty bad.

274
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,558
Maybe I should just give in
to his stupid bathroom schedule.

275
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,192
No, don't do that.

276
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,158
- But you did!
- Exactly!

277
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,791
Learn from my mistakes!

278
00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:05,758
No matter where
I am at 7:18 a.m.,

279
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,391
there better be
a toilet nearby.

280
00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:13,791
It's just so much easier
to give him what he wants.

281
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,424
Oh, true, but think of how
much you've accomplished.

282
00:13:17,426 --> 00:13:19,991
Who got him to stop
Purelling his pocket change?

283
00:13:19,993 --> 00:13:21,991
Me.

284
00:13:21,993 --> 00:13:24,091
And who got him to put
things other than gloves

285
00:13:24,093 --> 00:13:25,825
in the glove compartment?

286
00:13:25,827 --> 00:13:27,758
Me.

287
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,424
It was mittens.

288
00:13:29,426 --> 00:13:30,724
Mm.

289
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,858
And who got him to
try a turkey dog?

290
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:34,058
That was actually Koothrappali,

291
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:36,691
but I did let him spit it out
in my hand.

292
00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:39,925
Look, how can you stop now?

293
00:13:39,927 --> 00:13:41,457
That's like walking
out of Pinocchio

294
00:13:41,459 --> 00:13:44,025
right before he
becomes a real boy.

295
00:13:44,027 --> 00:13:45,524
You know, you're right.

296
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:47,125
I'm in this relationship, too.

297
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,125
I need to stand up for myself.

298
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:49,131
Of course you do.

299
00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:51,958
And if he doesn't like it,
he can move back here.

300
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,958
Oh. He can try. He'd just
need a good locksmith.

301
00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:01,524
Well, who you
gonna hit on?

302
00:14:01,526 --> 00:14:03,491
The girl in front of
us got strawberry.

303
00:14:03,493 --> 00:14:05,524
That's your favorite.

304
00:14:05,526 --> 00:14:09,324
No. No, if we both like it,
I'll spend the rest of my life

305
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:13,058
opening the freezer and going,
"Aw, no strawberry."

306
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,858
What about the girl
behind the counter?

307
00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:18,257
Hmm? Well, she spends
her whole day scooping.

308
00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:22,125
One arm's probably
bigger than the other.

309
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:25,558
Is it possible you might not
actually want to meet someone?

310
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,691
You are truly wise.

311
00:14:29,693 --> 00:14:30,471
Thank you.

312
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,792
I'd say

313
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:32,814
wise beyond your years,
but you're getting up there.

314
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,063
All right.

315
00:14:35,259 --> 00:14:38,691
Come on. What is really
going on with you?

316
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,357
Penny, I am going
to tell you a story

317
00:14:43,359 --> 00:14:44,624
that I've never told anyone.

318
00:14:44,626 --> 00:14:46,191
All right.

319
00:14:46,193 --> 00:14:48,524
I was 13 years old,

320
00:14:48,526 --> 00:14:51,524
and on spring break
from college.

321
00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:57,457
Not relating. Go on.

322
00:14:57,459 --> 00:15:01,858
I came home early because they
ran out of math to teach me.

323
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,891
Oh, now I'm with ya. Okay.

324
00:15:03,893 --> 00:15:05,791
My mother was at bible study.

325
00:15:05,793 --> 00:15:08,424
I walked in the house
expecting to find it empty,

326
00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:12,257
and I heard a sound coming
from my parents' bedroom.

327
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,091
When I opened the door,

328
00:15:14,093 --> 00:15:17,658
I saw my father having relations
with another woman.

329
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:20,758
Oh, that's awful!
I know.

330
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,724
It's also why
I never open a door

331
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:24,391
without knocking three times.

332
00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:26,324
I mean, the first
one's traditional,

333
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,658
but two and three are for people
to get their pants on.

334
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:32,991
Well, what happened
with your dad?

335
00:15:32,993 --> 00:15:36,091
We locked eyes,
I ran to my room,

336
00:15:36,092 --> 00:15:38,791
and we never, ever spoke of it.

337
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,691
You poor thing.

338
00:15:40,693 --> 00:15:43,191
Since Amy and I
have been living together,

339
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,724
we've been bickering
like my parents used to.

340
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:49,090
And you're afraid you're gonna
do something like your dad did?

341
00:15:49,092 --> 00:15:51,724
Yes. I need to prepare her now

342
00:15:51,726 --> 00:15:53,650
to save her from pain
down the road.

343
00:15:53,674 --> 00:15:54,892
Down the road?

344
00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:57,658
Sheldon, she wanted to share a
toothbrush holder with you,

345
00:15:57,660 --> 00:16:01,324
and now you're at an ice cream
parlor trying to pick up women!

346
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:06,058
Well, anything can sound silly
when you put it in that tone.

347
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,090
Honey, instead of
worrying about pain

348
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,191
you might cause in the
future, how about trying

349
00:16:10,193 --> 00:16:12,357
to fix the pain you're
causing her right now?

350
00:16:14,126 --> 00:16:16,724
I'm sure you're right.

351
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,658
I suppose I should
apologize to you, as well.

352
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,291
Okay.

353
00:16:21,293 --> 00:16:24,257
That must have hurt watching me
look for other women

354
00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:27,157
without ever even
considering you.

355
00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:34,357
Please understand
that I think of you

356
00:16:34,359 --> 00:16:37,658
as more of a nanny.

357
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:41,858
Just finish your ice cream
so I can get you home to bed.

358
00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:49,057
I wonder if this is
what it feels like

359
00:16:49,059 --> 00:16:51,558
to be Bernadette's baby.

360
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:56,224
I don't know. Bernadette's baby
doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet

361
00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:58,491
hitting just the right spot.

362
00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:04,658
Those jets are
for my secret spot, not his!

363
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:06,958
What do you do in there?

364
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,991
It's called relaxing,
and that's all you need to know.

365
00:17:13,426 --> 00:17:15,691
Well, it's getting late.

366
00:17:15,693 --> 00:17:17,958
Maybe we should head home.

367
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,691
Yeah, you're probably right.

368
00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:23,891
You coming?

369
00:17:23,893 --> 00:17:25,691
Yeah, just give me a minute.

370
00:17:25,693 --> 00:17:26,925
Why?

371
00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:30,558
Well, you know how
you're wearing a bathing suit?

372
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,491
Yeah?

373
00:17:32,493 --> 00:17:35,558
I kind of went the other way.

374
00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:39,291
You jackasses just bought
yourselves a hot tub!

375
00:17:51,928 --> 00:17:53,659
What do you think?

376
00:17:53,661 --> 00:17:54,893
It's a nice enough spot.

377
00:17:54,895 --> 00:17:57,125
You know, if I'm going to start
standing up for myself,

378
00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,052
this is exactly
the kind of thing...

379
00:17:58,053 --> 00:17:58,824
We're back!

380
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:00,468
Oh, hi! Hi!

381
00:18:02,628 --> 00:18:04,131
Hello.

382
00:18:04,132 --> 00:18:05,297
How you guys doing?

383
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:06,464
We're doing good. I think

384
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,264
Sheldon has something he
would like to say to Amy.

385
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:17,130
I wanted to apologize
for my behavior today. It...

386
00:18:23,965 --> 00:18:27,464
It was unnecessary.

387
00:18:27,466 --> 00:18:30,764
This is warm.

388
00:18:32,399 --> 00:18:37,631
Oh, and also, I am willing to
forego the bathroom schedule.

389
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,898
Oh. Really?

390
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,097
Why does she get that?
We never got that!

391
00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:43,797
Do you want him back?

392
00:18:43,799 --> 00:18:45,898
I'm very happy for you.

393
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:49,397
Amy, you should know

394
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:51,764
I was never really interested
in seeing other women.

395
00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:55,464
And to prove how
serious I am about us,

396
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:59,197
I'm willing to take our
relationship to the next level.

397
00:19:00,499 --> 00:19:02,697
Amy Farrah Fowler,

398
00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:05,831
will you share
this toothbrush holder with me?

399
00:19:08,566 --> 00:19:10,731
I would love to.

400
00:19:14,932 --> 00:19:16,897
Did we really

401
00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:19,597
need to be
here for this?

402
00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:22,764
Call me crazy,
but I found it moving.

403
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:33,127
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man