1
00:00:00,424 --> 00:00:01,252
? Yeah.

2
00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:03,784
It's a dinky little convention
where they sell collectibles

3
00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:06,868
and get sad D-list celebrities
to appear. Why?

4
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:08,868
I got asked
to sign autographs there.

5
00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:11,285
That's awesome!

6
00:00:12,419 --> 00:00:13,834
Is this for
Serial Ape-ist?

7
00:00:13,836 --> 00:00:15,451
Well, it could be
for the monkey movie.

8
00:00:15,453 --> 00:00:17,118
It could be
my hemorrhoid commercial.

9
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,417
The list does not go on.

10
00:00:19,199 --> 00:00:20,667
- When is it?
- It doesn't matter.

11
00:00:20,669 --> 00:00:21,279
I'm not doing it.

12
00:00:21,302 --> 00:00:22,668
What? Why not?

13
00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:24,168
You just said yourself,
it's sad.

14
00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:25,501
Yeah, but it's
not pathetic.

15
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,367
That's where
I draw the line.

16
00:00:28,619 --> 00:00:30,001
Come on! We'll have fun.

17
00:00:30,003 --> 00:00:31,168
I don't know.

18
00:00:31,170 --> 00:00:33,251
You'll have nerds
fawning all over you.

19
00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,951
If you don't love that,
this marriage is in trouble.

20
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,201
I guess it wouldn't hurt
to meet some fans

21
00:00:38,203 --> 00:00:39,701
and make a little extra money.

22
00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:41,168
Yeah.

23
00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:44,251
Wow! An appearance
by George Lucas...

24
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,417
's dermatologist.

25
00:00:47,753 --> 00:00:50,284
- Oh, I want that autograph.
- Oh, yeah.

26
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:19,560
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

27
00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:21,541
You know, with us living
together, maybe we could

28
00:01:21,543 --> 00:01:23,708
think about having people over.

29
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:26,092
We have people
over all the time.

30
00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:28,758
We have the maintenance people,
the pizza delivery man...

31
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,374
that UPS driver
who feels the need to ask

32
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:34,541
how parts of me are hanging.

33
00:01:34,543 --> 00:01:36,708
You know what I meant.

34
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,341
All right, fine.

35
00:01:38,343 --> 00:01:39,508
Let's say that

36
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:40,625
we were to entertain people.

37
00:01:40,627 --> 00:01:42,591
What type of gathering
did you have in mind?

38
00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:43,875
Huh? A meal? Lunch?

39
00:01:43,877 --> 00:01:44,792
Brunch? Dinner?

40
00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:46,042
Afternoon tea?
A formal tea? Hmm?

41
00:01:46,044 --> 00:01:48,508
Is it a party?
And if so, what kind of party?

42
00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:50,291
Is it a cocktail party?

43
00:01:50,293 --> 00:01:51,842
A Tupperware party?

44
00:01:51,844 --> 00:01:55,008
Ooh, yeah...
is it a surprise party?

45
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,208
Oh, I hope it's not

46
00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:57,875
a West Coast party,
'cause according to

47
00:01:57,877 --> 00:02:01,508
the man on the radio,
a West Coast party don't stop.

48
00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,425
I'm sorry I mentioned it.

49
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,042
Oh, don't be.
You get your hopes up,

50
00:02:05,044 --> 00:02:07,675
I knock them down.
That's called teamwork.

51
00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:18,541
That's a kick.

52
00:02:18,543 --> 00:02:20,208
That's an actual kick.

53
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,875
What are you doing?

54
00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:30,008
I felt a kick.

55
00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:33,042
There's a baby in there.

56
00:02:33,044 --> 00:02:36,341
Oh, yeah, that's where I put it.

57
00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:39,425
Oh, I mean, I know
you're pregnant.

58
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,675
I just...

59
00:02:40,677 --> 00:02:43,541
never connected
the idea of pregnancy

60
00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:47,125
and you actually having a baby.

61
00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:50,925
Which MIT did you go to?

62
00:02:54,343 --> 00:02:57,625
Oh, God, we are not ready
to have an infant in this house!

63
00:02:57,627 --> 00:02:59,875
We don't have a crib,
we don't have diapers.

64
00:02:59,877 --> 00:03:01,374
We're not baby-proofed.

65
00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:05,208
Anyone can just walk in off the
street and lift our toilet lids!

66
00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,625
Howie, we have time
to do all that stuff.

67
00:03:07,627 --> 00:03:09,042
Do we?

68
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:10,208
Look at you.

69
00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:13,124
Willy Wonka would roll you
to the juicing room.

70
00:03:14,877 --> 00:03:17,508
The next person kicking you
will be me.

71
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:18,458
Good night.

72
00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:26,925
Are we even
in a good school...?

73
00:03:26,927 --> 00:03:28,124
Ow!

74
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:32,708
I warned you,
and I did it.

75
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,208
What's all this?

76
00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,792
Oh, everything we need
for your autograph session...

77
00:03:40,794 --> 00:03:42,425
head shots, markers.
Okay.

78
00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:44,124
Leonard, it's sweet
you're excited about this,

79
00:03:44,126 --> 00:03:47,258
but it'll be a miracle if one
person asks for my autograph.

80
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,425
Are you kidding?

81
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:50,708
I once paid $20
for Theo Sassler's signature.

82
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:51,958
- Who's that?
- Oh, I don't even know.

83
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,758
I just liked his name.
Theo Sassler!

84
00:03:55,710 --> 00:03:57,591
Oh, and look at this.

85
00:03:57,593 --> 00:03:59,792
I even got a change maker.

86
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,842
How much change you want,
little lady?

87
00:04:07,126 --> 00:04:10,458
Oh, there's so much
I want to change.

88
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:14,174
Yeah, well, if it's a dollar,
you're in luck.

89
00:04:18,543 --> 00:04:20,875
What's going on here?

90
00:04:20,877 --> 00:04:23,591
You expressed an interest
in having people over,

91
00:04:23,593 --> 00:04:26,091
and I feel
I dismissed it too quickly.

92
00:04:26,093 --> 00:04:27,458
So, I took matters

93
00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:30,208
into my own hands,
and I arranged a brunch.

94
00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:32,042
Well, that's so nice.

95
00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:33,541
Who's coming?

96
00:04:33,543 --> 00:04:36,675
Oh, uh, Stuart,
Bert from the geology lab,

97
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,008
and Mrs. Petrescu
from downstairs.

98
00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:40,708
You mean the Romanian lady
on the second floor?

99
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:41,708
Yes.

100
00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:43,041
Oh, fun story:

101
00:04:43,043 --> 00:04:45,374
she grew up with ten siblings.

102
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:48,124
Or possibly penguins.
Her English is atrocious.

103
00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:51,174
That's an odd mix of people.

104
00:04:51,176 --> 00:04:53,041
Well, for our first time
hosting,

105
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,675
I thought it would be wise
to conduct a trial run.

106
00:04:55,677 --> 00:04:56,958
You know,
like how I practiced

107
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,508
for that Halloween haunted house

108
00:04:58,510 --> 00:05:01,875
by going into the bathroom
at the bus station.

109
00:05:01,877 --> 00:05:04,258
You never went
into that haunted house.

110
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,508
You never saw what jumped out
at me at the bus station.

111
00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:09,425
Well, thank you, Sheldon.

112
00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:11,458
This is a fun surprise.

113
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:13,425
Oh. Well, the real surprise is

114
00:05:13,427 --> 00:05:16,007
how surprised you are
that I'm great at surprises.

115
00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,958
Well, that's not a
surprise at all.

116
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,174
I mean, if I knew you
were good at surprises,

117
00:05:20,176 --> 00:05:21,374
I would have
expected the surprise,

118
00:05:21,376 --> 00:05:22,758
and therefore not
have been surprised.

119
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,041
But as it is,
I didn't know,

120
00:05:24,043 --> 00:05:27,174
and therefore my surprise
should be unsurprising.

121
00:05:27,176 --> 00:05:30,124
Don't get me all randy.
Guests are on the way.

122
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,925
Hi.

123
00:05:35,927 --> 00:05:37,458
Hey, where you been?

124
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,792
Oh, we went and did a little
shopping for the baby.

125
00:05:39,794 --> 00:05:41,675
Wait till you see
the crib we found.

126
00:05:41,677 --> 00:05:43,792
You bought a crib without me?

127
00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:45,458
You're gonna love it.
Yeah.

128
00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:46,958
It's the highest rated one
on the market.

129
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,291
I wouldn't even
call it a crib.

130
00:05:48,293 --> 00:05:51,708
I'd call it a Fortress
of Solitude for babies.

131
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:54,208
Sounds expensive.

132
00:05:54,210 --> 00:05:55,875
Okay, well,
I may have gone

133
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:59,041
a bit overboard, but you can't
put a price on safety.

134
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:02,458
Though if you did, it's more
zeroes than you're expecting.

135
00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:05,041
But it's the safest crib
you can buy.

136
00:06:05,043 --> 00:06:07,041
And if you don't like it,
we can return it.

137
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:08,957
Fine.
In our new minivan.

138
00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:11,124
Hey, what's for lunch?

139
00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:12,842
You bought a minivan?

140
00:06:12,844 --> 00:06:14,875
It's for the baby,
and I didn't buy it.

141
00:06:14,877 --> 00:06:16,291
The dealer
loaned it to me

142
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,425
for a 24-hour test drive.

143
00:06:18,427 --> 00:06:20,508
Though we did ding up the back
pretty good with the crib,

144
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,208
so you might have
bought a minivan.

145
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:26,508
I don't want to drive that.
It's such a mom car.

146
00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,174
The guy at the dealership said

147
00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:30,174
they're not just
for moms anymore.

148
00:06:30,176 --> 00:06:31,208
Then again,

149
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,708
he did think
you were my husband.

150
00:06:36,093 --> 00:06:37,875
They thought it
at the ultrasound.

151
00:06:37,877 --> 00:06:39,758
Why not at the car dealership?

152
00:06:45,627 --> 00:06:48,208
Never been on this side
of the table before.

153
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,425
I feel powerful.

154
00:06:50,427 --> 00:06:51,875
Really?

155
00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:55,924
I feel like I'm selling candy so
our team can get new uniforms.

156
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:58,957
Okay, so it's $4.75
for a signed black-and-white

157
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:00,208
and $9.95 for a color.

158
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,374
Right. Why not five
and ten bucks?

159
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:05,208
Well, I brought my moneymaker.
Let me shake it.

160
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:08,291
Hey, that guy's
looking over here.

161
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:09,875
Oh. You think
he's your first autograph?

162
00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:12,041
I don't know. Be cool.
He's coming. He's coming.

163
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,541
- Hi!
- Hi.

164
00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:15,792
I love your movie.

165
00:07:15,794 --> 00:07:17,124
Well, thanks.

166
00:07:17,126 --> 00:07:18,708
It has got to be
one of the worst things

167
00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:20,374
I've ever seen in my life.

168
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:23,291
Your love confuses me.

169
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,506
Would you like
an autograph?

170
00:07:26,507 --> 00:07:27,375
Sure.

171
00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:28,212
Okay. Who do I make it out to?

172
00:07:28,236 --> 00:07:29,209
Daniel.

173
00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:30,508
- Okay.
- I have to ask.

174
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,258
Were you trying to be that bad,

175
00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:34,208
or are you just
a terrible actress?

176
00:07:34,210 --> 00:07:37,675
That did not clear things up.

177
00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:42,708
That'll be $4.75.

178
00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:44,374
Keep the change.

179
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,541
But I... Oh.

180
00:07:53,176 --> 00:07:54,841
Nothing about that
was good.

181
00:07:54,843 --> 00:07:56,708
Mm-mm.

182
00:07:57,876 --> 00:08:00,208
There's nothing
to be afraid of, Sheldon.

183
00:08:02,876 --> 00:08:05,758
The average cork speed
is 25 miles per hour.

184
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,675
If that is too fast
around a school,

185
00:08:07,677 --> 00:08:09,841
it is certainly too fast
around a kitchen.

186
00:08:12,677 --> 00:08:14,541
Been 15 minutes.
Just sayin'.

187
00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:16,425
Okay. I can do this.

188
00:08:16,427 --> 00:08:17,874
Just give me a moment...

189
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,675
Oh!

190
00:08:20,677 --> 00:08:22,874
Mimosas coming up.

191
00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:25,007
I once left orange juice
in my fridge so long,

192
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,957
it tasted like a mimosa.

193
00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:30,041
How old was it?

194
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,541
It's hard to say.

195
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,957
I don't remember much
after I drank it.

196
00:08:35,794 --> 00:08:37,675
Would you like one,
Mrs. Petrescu?

197
00:08:37,677 --> 00:08:41,508
Yes. Drink is fun
and good friends... Applebee's.

198
00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,758
She's learning English from TV.

199
00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,874
TV, good. Now back to you.

200
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,291
Hey, guys.

201
00:08:53,293 --> 00:08:54,341
Hi, Stuart.

202
00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:55,541
These are for you.

203
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:57,675
Oh, they're pretty.
Thank you.

204
00:08:57,677 --> 00:09:00,041
Stuart, this is Bert
from the Caltech geology lab,

205
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:02,508
and this is Mrs. Petrescu
from downstairs.

206
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:03,208
Nice to meet you.

207
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,541
- Hello.
- Hey.

208
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,874
So, what did I miss?

209
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:08,208
Eh, we watched Sheldon
try to open a bottle

210
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,208
for 15 minutes.

211
00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:15,675
15 minutes can save you
15% or more on car insurance.

212
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:21,757
Anybody else coming
to this thing? Uh...

213
00:09:30,859 --> 00:09:32,491
- What's your name? Okay.
- Jeff.

214
00:09:32,515 --> 00:09:33,410
Okay.

215
00:09:33,411 --> 00:09:35,576
My favorite part
is your shower scene.

216
00:09:35,578 --> 00:09:38,443
Been hearing that a lot today.

217
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,409
I even have a screen grab
on my phone.

218
00:09:40,411 --> 00:09:43,326
Yep, there they are.

219
00:09:43,328 --> 00:09:45,775
Okay, let's
keep it moving.

220
00:09:45,777 --> 00:09:48,443
Here you go.

221
00:09:48,445 --> 00:09:49,942
Should've punched that guy.

222
00:09:49,944 --> 00:09:51,859
Well, go ahead.
He's right over there.

223
00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:54,825
Why do you do that?
Can't you let me have my moment?

224
00:09:56,244 --> 00:09:57,909
- Hello.
- Hi.

225
00:09:57,911 --> 00:09:59,159
I like your movies.

226
00:09:59,161 --> 00:09:59,844
Thank you!

227
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:01,110
I saw both of them.

228
00:10:01,111 --> 00:10:02,775
I assume we're still
talking about the movies,

229
00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:05,443
but after today,
who knows.

230
00:10:05,445 --> 00:10:07,859
You think I could get
a picture of us?

231
00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:08,660
Oh, sure.

232
00:10:08,662 --> 00:10:09,742
And, uh, could you be

233
00:10:09,744 --> 00:10:10,775
giving me a kiss?

234
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,825
No. She cannot kiss...

235
00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:13,359
What is wrong with you people?

236
00:10:13,361 --> 00:10:15,326
- Leonard...
- No, no, no. It's not okay.

237
00:10:15,328 --> 00:10:15,906
Who are you?

238
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,165
I'm her husband.

239
00:10:18,695 --> 00:10:21,076
No, you're not.

240
00:10:22,328 --> 00:10:23,276
I am.

241
00:10:23,278 --> 00:10:25,109
Yeah, he really is.

242
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,192
No.

243
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:35,026
It's got a rearview camera,
there's a DVD player...

244
00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:36,909
oh, and check this out.

245
00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:41,742
It's like we're living
in the future!

246
00:10:41,744 --> 00:10:44,109
Hey, show her the trunk!
Show her the trunk!

247
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:48,526
Imagine this:
you've got the baby in one hand,

248
00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:51,409
groceries in the other,
and you're thinking,

249
00:10:51,411 --> 00:10:54,159
"How am I gonna
open this trunk?"

250
00:10:54,161 --> 00:10:56,775
I'm probably thinking,
"Where's my husband,

251
00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:59,159
and why isn't he helping me?"

252
00:10:59,161 --> 00:11:02,443
You don't need my help
when you can open the trunk

253
00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:04,326
with a simple kick of the foot.

254
00:11:11,111 --> 00:11:13,026
No, it's a gentle kick;
you're doing it wrong.

255
00:11:13,028 --> 00:11:14,742
Here. Give me those.

256
00:11:21,827 --> 00:11:24,159
Uh, maybe it was
more of a circle?

257
00:11:26,827 --> 00:11:29,992
It's weird that guy thought
you were a couple.

258
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,942
Yes!
Yes!

259
00:11:31,944 --> 00:11:33,026
See?

260
00:11:33,028 --> 00:11:35,992
Easy. And look at
all this cargo space.

261
00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:37,026
You know,
we'll get the crib out

262
00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:38,942
and you can take it
for a test-drive.

263
00:11:38,944 --> 00:11:42,775
I'm telling you,
this van is gonna be...

264
00:11:44,028 --> 00:11:46,109
Oh, is it your back?

265
00:11:46,111 --> 00:11:47,859
Uh... yeah.

266
00:11:49,111 --> 00:11:52,076
Anyway, let's just get
in and see if the GPS

267
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:54,608
can take us to the
nearest emergency room.

268
00:11:57,111 --> 00:11:59,608
So until
Amy's apartment is fixed,

269
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:02,326
she and I
are living here together.

270
00:12:02,328 --> 00:12:03,909
I lived with my old girlfriend.

271
00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:05,942
She was a geologist, too.

272
00:12:05,944 --> 00:12:07,326
Things didn't work out?

273
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:10,608
I came home from work one day
and she had taken everything.

274
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:12,109
I'm warning you,

275
00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:14,608
hide your good rocks.

276
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,692
My sister's husband
took all her things, too.

277
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,076
Story at 11:00.

278
00:12:23,495 --> 00:12:25,359
Really, no one else is coming?

279
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:27,909
Oh, this is it.

280
00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:29,825
You are the practice round.

281
00:12:29,827 --> 00:12:31,608
Practice round? For-for what?

282
00:12:31,610 --> 00:12:33,909
Uh, no.
He-he just means that

283
00:12:33,911 --> 00:12:35,775
you were the first people
we thought of.

284
00:12:35,777 --> 00:12:36,825
You know, exactly.

285
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:38,109
We've never thrown
a brunch before,

286
00:12:38,111 --> 00:12:40,242
and I wanted to work
out all the kinks.

287
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:43,575
So, I'm like a lab rat

288
00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,742
before your real friends
come over?

289
00:12:47,610 --> 00:12:49,775
Oh.

290
00:12:49,777 --> 00:12:51,608
You see, your words
sound reasonable,

291
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,493
but your face
looks angry.

292
00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:57,659
Help me out here.
This is not where I shine.

293
00:12:57,661 --> 00:12:58,825
Stuart,

294
00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:01,076
you know you're one of
our favorite people.

295
00:13:01,078 --> 00:13:02,443
Okay, now, see,
you look sincere,

296
00:13:02,445 --> 00:13:04,742
but your words are
completely false.

297
00:13:05,694 --> 00:13:07,242
I'm glad we did
this test run.

298
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:08,992
These brunches
are wild!

299
00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:14,359
But how did you get her
to go out with you?

300
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,109
Well, she moved in
across the hall.

301
00:13:16,111 --> 00:13:17,992
And he started
to slowly wear me down.

302
00:13:17,994 --> 00:13:19,742
Mm-hmm.

303
00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:22,359
Like a river carves a canyon.

304
00:13:22,361 --> 00:13:26,159
Yeah, except the river kept
showing me his Pokémon cards.

305
00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:28,659
Ready to go?

306
00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:29,859
Hang on.
This guy's telling me

307
00:13:29,861 --> 00:13:32,109
how he got the Serial Ape-ist
girl to marry him.

308
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,692
This guy?

309
00:13:34,495 --> 00:13:37,608
But he's wearing
a change maker.

310
00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:40,825
I think it's hot.

311
00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:43,109
That's right.

312
00:13:43,111 --> 00:13:45,159
I'm her change daddy.

313
00:13:51,278 --> 00:13:52,942
What was I thinking?

314
00:13:52,944 --> 00:13:55,443
Wolowitzes are not
a lifting people!

315
00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:57,242
We tip the lifting people!

316
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:01,159
Do we really
have to sit for hours

317
00:14:01,161 --> 00:14:02,359
in the emergency room?

318
00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:04,076
They're just gonna give you
ice and Advil

319
00:14:04,078 --> 00:14:05,692
like last time.

320
00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:07,942
You're gonna feel terrible
when I'm in a wheelchair.

321
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:11,942
Which, by the way,
would fit easily in the back

322
00:14:11,944 --> 00:14:14,443
of this award-winning minivan.

323
00:14:14,445 --> 00:14:17,909
Fine, we'll go to the E.R.
Just stop selling me on the van.

324
00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:20,159
You're right. It sells itself.

325
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,942
You have to admit,
it's a pretty smooth ride.

326
00:14:23,944 --> 00:14:25,909
I was hoping it'd be quieter.

327
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:28,276
If childbirth is half this bad,

328
00:14:28,278 --> 00:14:31,109
you are so screwed!

329
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:33,909
Are we there yet?
Soon.

330
00:14:33,911 --> 00:14:35,692
Why is it taking so long?

331
00:14:35,694 --> 00:14:37,492
H-Howard, Howard,
look at the DVD screen.

332
00:14:37,494 --> 00:14:40,608
I put on Batman: The Animated
Series. Your favorite!

333
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,992
I'm in too much pain
to watch cartoo...

334
00:14:42,994 --> 00:14:45,492
Oh! This is a good one.

335
00:14:46,111 --> 00:14:47,409
I've been babysitting him

336
00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:49,109
way longer than you have.

337
00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:54,442
Fine. I'll buy the stupid van.

338
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:58,775
This is the best blintz
I've ever had.

339
00:14:58,777 --> 00:15:00,326
Oh. Thank you.

340
00:15:00,328 --> 00:15:02,909
It almost makes up for the
incredibly awkward turn

341
00:15:02,911 --> 00:15:04,942
things took earlier.

342
00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:08,442
You know what,
I-I think I'm just gonna go.

343
00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:10,326
No, Stuart, don't.

344
00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:13,026
No, I-I consider you
and Sheldon like my family,

345
00:15:13,028 --> 00:15:15,525
and I'm not even sure
you think of me as a friend.

346
00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:17,775
You have any idea
how that feels?

347
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:20,276
We're so sorry.

348
00:15:20,278 --> 00:15:22,442
I'm always the last one
anybody thinks of.

349
00:15:22,444 --> 00:15:24,076
Well, no, that's not true.

350
00:15:24,078 --> 00:15:26,575
I mean, sometimes
it's Koothrappali.

351
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:29,742
But we're not
supposed to say that 'cause

352
00:15:29,744 --> 00:15:31,775
he's a minority.

353
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:32,825
Bye.

354
00:15:32,827 --> 00:15:34,942
Stuart, wait.

355
00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:39,159
I do know what it feels like
to be left out.

356
00:15:39,161 --> 00:15:40,775
I know how it feels, too.

357
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:43,775
All right, this is about me
and him; you're not part of it.

358
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:48,942
Stuart, perhaps we do
take you for granted,

359
00:15:48,944 --> 00:15:50,742
and that is not acceptable.

360
00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:53,692
Please know that you truly
are a valuable member

361
00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:54,992
of our social group.

362
00:15:54,994 --> 00:15:56,775
Thank you.

363
00:15:56,777 --> 00:15:59,742
You know, in fact,
I'd like to propose a toast.

364
00:16:03,244 --> 00:16:04,358
To Stuart.

365
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,775
A fine man,

366
00:16:06,777 --> 00:16:10,492
a good friend
and a wonderful guest.

367
00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,442
Hear, hear.
Cheers.

368
00:16:12,444 --> 00:16:16,159
Cheers. Filmed before
a live studio audience.

369
00:16:19,744 --> 00:16:23,276
And that is how a short
asthmatic scientist

370
00:16:23,278 --> 00:16:25,909
landed a stone cold fox.

371
00:16:25,911 --> 00:16:27,909
Oh. Whoa.

372
00:16:29,661 --> 00:16:31,942
I didn't know you can
propose to the same person

373
00:16:31,944 --> 00:16:33,992
so many times.

374
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,575
The third time,
I did it in skywriting,

375
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,192
but she never looked up.

376
00:16:38,994 --> 00:16:40,742
You know, once,
I proposed to him.

377
00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,692
Yeah. I said no.

378
00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:44,026
Why?

379
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:46,242
I just wanted to
make her work for it.

380
00:16:47,028 --> 00:16:49,942
Yeah, that's gonna
cost you later.

381
00:16:49,944 --> 00:16:52,942
Hang on. Is she just with
you because you're rich?

382
00:16:52,944 --> 00:16:54,859
She makes more
money than I do!

383
00:16:54,861 --> 00:16:57,242
What? Who are you?

384
00:17:06,116 --> 00:17:08,197
Do you know
what else I love about you?

385
00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:09,247
Hmm?

386
00:17:09,249 --> 00:17:13,363
Y-Your handwriting
is impeccable!

387
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,613
Thank you for noticing!

388
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:16,280
No, I mean it. I mean it.

389
00:17:16,282 --> 00:17:19,697
It's like you have
the soul of a label maker.

390
00:17:20,548 --> 00:17:22,199
You know what I
love about you?

391
00:17:22,223 --> 00:17:23,081
Hmm?

392
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:25,613
You never leave the house
without a paper clip!

393
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:28,363
You never know
when two pieces of paper

394
00:17:28,365 --> 00:17:32,164
might temporarily need fastening
in the top left corner.

395
00:17:35,332 --> 00:17:38,613
I also love how you
never use swear words.

396
00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:40,030
You know, it turns out,

397
00:17:40,032 --> 00:17:44,164
you can hurt people
just as well without 'em.

398
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:49,114
Maybe I can get a little help
putting some of this stuff away.

399
00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:51,114
Oh, calm down.

400
00:17:51,116 --> 00:17:53,246
I already put away
five of these!

401
00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:55,780
You see?

402
00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:58,947
No muss, no fuss,
not a single cuss.

403
00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:10,227
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man