1
00:00:00,830 --> 00:00:01,689
Hey, Stuart.

2
00:00:01,690 --> 00:00:02,452
What are you doing here?

3
00:00:02,476 --> 00:00:04,156
Oh, I'm living here again.

4
00:00:04,157 --> 00:00:07,455
Do, uh, Howard
and Bernadette know?

5
00:00:07,457 --> 00:00:10,988
Or is like a possum
in the walls kind of thing?

6
00:00:11,823 --> 00:00:14,621
No. I needed
a place to stay,

7
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:15,854
and with the baby coming,

8
00:00:15,856 --> 00:00:17,821
I figured they could
use some extra help.

9
00:00:17,823 --> 00:00:20,155
Hey, tomorrow, who wants
to paint the nursery?

10
00:00:20,157 --> 00:00:21,184
I'll do it.

11
00:00:21,185 --> 00:00:22,987
Why do you get to do it?
I'm the artist.

12
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:26,255
Just because you're starving
doesn't make you an artist.

13
00:00:26,257 --> 00:00:29,587
Just because I look sickly
doesn't mean I'm starving.

14
00:00:29,589 --> 00:00:31,721
Howard?

15
00:00:31,723 --> 00:00:33,888
I think I'm in labor.

16
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,854
Oh. Oh, okay. Okay.

17
00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:37,754
Uh, uh, uh,
I can do this.

18
00:00:37,756 --> 00:00:39,188
We have a plan.

19
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,054
Somebody please
tell me the plan!

20
00:00:41,056 --> 00:00:42,587
I'll get the
hospital bag.

21
00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:43,299
I'll pull the van up.

22
00:00:43,323 --> 00:00:44,423
Meet you outside
in two minutes.

23
00:00:44,424 --> 00:00:46,888
Team Baby, go!

24
00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:51,355
Oh, man.

25
00:00:51,357 --> 00:00:52,821
This is really
happening.

26
00:00:52,823 --> 00:00:54,522
You doin' okay?

27
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,121
Here comes another contraction.

28
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,488
Let's pick it up!

29
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:58,954
All right, hold on.

30
00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:00,788
I'm gonna drive
like we do in India.

31
00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:05,455
Get out of my way,
you syphilitic dogs!

32
00:01:06,823 --> 00:01:08,548
Stop that!
This isn't India.

33
00:01:08,572 --> 00:01:09,489
Fine.

34
00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:14,388
What do one point three billion
people know about having babies?

35
00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:16,888
Sorry. I know you were just
trying to help.

36
00:01:17,589 --> 00:01:18,854
I love you.

37
00:01:18,856 --> 00:01:21,488
I love you, too.
We're good.

38
00:01:45,107 --> 00:01:51,900
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

39
00:01:52,401 --> 00:01:54,359
Amy?

40
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,258
Wake up.

41
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,957
Wh... What's wrong?

42
00:01:58,959 --> 00:02:00,724
It's midnight.

43
00:02:00,726 --> 00:02:02,224
Happy birthday.

44
00:02:02,226 --> 00:02:05,424
Sheldon.

45
00:02:09,726 --> 00:02:14,624
Okay, you can have
this back in the morning.

46
00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:17,590
This is for you.

47
00:02:17,592 --> 00:02:18,957
I was going to wrap it,

48
00:02:18,959 --> 00:02:21,824
but touching Scotch tape
gives me the heebie-jeebies.

49
00:02:21,826 --> 00:02:25,291
I'll put in on the list
with peaches and felt.

50
00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,024
What is this?

51
00:02:29,026 --> 00:02:32,490
A functional MRI
of my brain.

52
00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:36,557
I did Sudoku before they
took it so I'd be ripped.

53
00:02:36,559 --> 00:02:39,590
I love it. Thank you.

54
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:40,891
And it's not just an MRI.

55
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:42,457
The orbitofrontal
cortex is lit up

56
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:44,657
because I was
thinking of you.

57
00:02:44,659 --> 00:02:47,091
Sheldon!

58
00:02:50,659 --> 00:02:53,790
We seem to be moving on
to the annual coitus portion

59
00:02:53,792 --> 00:02:55,391
of your birthday
festivities.

60
00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:57,590
Is that okay?

61
00:02:57,592 --> 00:03:00,423
I didn't put on my come-hither
plaid PJ's for nothing.

62
00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:04,790
You hate Scotch tape,
but you love Scotch plaid.

63
00:03:04,792 --> 00:03:07,157
You are a mystery.

64
00:03:14,592 --> 00:03:16,157
Guys, wake up!

65
00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:17,924
Bernadette's
having her baby!

66
00:03:17,926 --> 00:03:19,790
Come on, we're going
to the hospital!

67
00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:21,824
I guess... I guess
we should stop.

68
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,757
Yeah. I'm afraid so.

69
00:03:25,526 --> 00:03:27,924
Childbirth,
looming coitus?

70
00:03:27,926 --> 00:03:30,590
This is a banner night
for female genitals.

71
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:35,224
Now I see
three of you.

72
00:03:35,226 --> 00:03:38,957
Do we know the father, or is
this some Mamma Mia nonsense?

73
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:41,457
I'm the father.

74
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:44,258
Okay, Dad, how far apart
are the contractions?

75
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,124
No idea.
Ask him.

76
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,824
12 minutes.

77
00:03:48,826 --> 00:03:51,057
12 minutes?
Why are you here?

78
00:03:51,059 --> 00:03:53,457
Aren't we supposed to get here
an hour and a half early?

79
00:03:53,459 --> 00:03:56,590
This is a hospital,
not the airport.

80
00:03:57,526 --> 00:03:59,724
I'm sorry.
It's our first time.

81
00:03:59,726 --> 00:04:00,857
It's okay.

82
00:04:00,859 --> 00:04:03,057
This little one will be
here before you know it.

83
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:04,924
Do we know what
we're having?

84
00:04:04,926 --> 00:04:06,490
No, we're keeping it
a surprise.

85
00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:08,590
Old school. Nice.

86
00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:11,590
Not that old school.
He knows.

87
00:04:11,592 --> 00:04:15,457
You see, I was
at the doctor's office,

88
00:04:15,459 --> 00:04:18,624
the folder was right there,
so I took a peek.

89
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,857
And talking like this

90
00:04:20,859 --> 00:04:23,991
doesn't make it less creepy.

91
00:04:23,993 --> 00:04:25,258
Sweetheart, go home.

92
00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:26,724
Come back when
the contractions

93
00:04:26,726 --> 00:04:28,423
are five minutes
apart for an hour.

94
00:04:28,425 --> 00:04:29,624
I'm sorry.

95
00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:30,857
That's ambiguous.

96
00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,291
Is it five minutes apart
starting at the top of the hour,

97
00:04:33,293 --> 00:04:34,590
or five minutes apart starting

98
00:04:34,592 --> 00:04:38,690
with the first contraction, so
essentially, like, 65 minutes?

99
00:04:38,692 --> 00:04:41,624
I'm just throwing
this out there,

100
00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:45,024
but home births are
very popular these days.

101
00:04:47,926 --> 00:04:50,091
Sheldon, what took you so long?

102
00:04:50,093 --> 00:04:51,690
Wolowitz might
hand out cigars.

103
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,357
I had to find my bubble gum

104
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:56,824
cigar so I could join in
without looking foolish.

105
00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:58,991
Damn, I need my inhaler.

106
00:04:58,993 --> 00:05:00,157
Just don't smoke.

107
00:05:00,159 --> 00:05:02,057
No, I went down
the stairs too fast.

108
00:05:03,526 --> 00:05:04,957
Hey.

109
00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:07,024
Don't come to the hospital.
We're headed home.

110
00:05:07,026 --> 00:05:09,423
Oh, that was fast.
Did she sneeze the baby out?

111
00:05:09,425 --> 00:05:12,524
We showed up too early.
We'll keep you posted.

112
00:05:12,526 --> 00:05:14,124
Okay, well, we'll

113
00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:15,524
talk to you guys later. Bye.

114
00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:18,323
She said not to come.
It's gonna be a while.

115
00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:20,957
Well, first deliveries
can be slow.

116
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,590
I am starting to rethink the
Flash onesie I bought this kid.

117
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,524
I found it,
but it's empty.

118
00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:29,524
Well, it doesn't matter. We're
not going to the hospital now.

119
00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:32,124
Are you sure?
I'd really like to.

120
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:36,423
Well, should we,
uh, head back up?

121
00:05:36,425 --> 00:05:38,590
Come on, guys.

122
00:05:38,592 --> 00:05:40,790
We're all awake. Why don't we go
to a diner or something?

123
00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:42,423
Oh, uh, I don't know.

124
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,991
Sheldon, you don't want
to do that, do you?

125
00:05:45,993 --> 00:05:47,323
It doesn't matter what I want.

126
00:05:47,325 --> 00:05:49,690
- It's your birthday. You decide.
- Oh, my God!

127
00:05:49,692 --> 00:05:51,957
It's your birthday!
Let's do something fun.

128
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:52,991
- Uh...
- Well,

129
00:05:52,993 --> 00:05:53,824
we could go to a bar.

130
00:05:53,826 --> 00:05:56,323
Well...

131
00:05:56,325 --> 00:05:59,091
Okay, I can breathe again.
Babe, they want to have sex.

132
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,924
Oh, of course!

133
00:06:00,926 --> 00:06:04,957
The annual birthday
booty spectacular!

134
00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:06,790
That's a bit childish,
isn't it?

135
00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:09,891
I'm sorry, and what flavor is
your bubble gum cigar?

136
00:06:09,893 --> 00:06:14,924
Grape. I find it
the most mild.

137
00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:17,590
All right, well,
you two go have fun.

138
00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:24,423
If we find my backup inhaler,
maybe we can get frisky.

139
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:28,157
Oh, you sexy,
wheezy little man.

140
00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:32,557
Do you really need
to record this?

141
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,190
You'll be happy I did.

142
00:06:35,192 --> 00:06:38,891
Okay, little one,
here we are back at home

143
00:06:38,893 --> 00:06:41,024
because you weren't quite ready
to come out yet.

144
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,257
You wanted to make an entrance.
I get it.

145
00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:49,357
And here's your daddy.

146
00:06:49,359 --> 00:06:52,057
When he tries to tell
you he used to be cool,

147
00:06:52,059 --> 00:06:54,624
you can see he wasn't.

148
00:06:56,993 --> 00:06:59,157
All right,
enough with the camera.

149
00:06:59,158 --> 00:07:01,290
Well, this is not for me.
This is for the baby.

150
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:03,323
Some day she's gonna
want to see this.

151
00:07:03,325 --> 00:07:05,257
I'm sorry.

152
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,590
Who's gonna want to see this?

153
00:07:08,626 --> 00:07:13,524
I... I said "she,"
but lots of things are she...

154
00:07:13,526 --> 00:07:14,757
boats

155
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:15,924
and cars,

156
00:07:15,926 --> 00:07:18,790
whales.
Like, "Thar she blows."

157
00:07:20,726 --> 00:07:22,323
You're doing great.

158
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,057
Raj!

159
00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:26,624
Well, okay,
I'm gonna sign off now.

160
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,091
This next part may contain
some adult language.

161
00:07:29,093 --> 00:07:30,457
How could you?

162
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:32,490
We made it this
far without knowing,

163
00:07:32,492 --> 00:07:34,156
and you ruined it!

164
00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:35,757
Well, you guys have no idea
how hard it is

165
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:38,057
to know something like this
and not say it!

166
00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:40,524
You told me it was a girl,
and I didn't say it.

167
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,190
Raj!
You were supposed

168
00:07:42,192 --> 00:07:43,757
to keep that to yourself.

169
00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:48,123
Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard.

170
00:07:50,626 --> 00:07:53,357
So...

171
00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,057
where were we?

172
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,991
Well, I believe

173
00:07:56,993 --> 00:07:59,257
we were kissing like
randy teenagers,

174
00:07:59,259 --> 00:08:03,357
and your nose was
whistling ever so slightly.

175
00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:06,091
I'm sorry.

176
00:08:06,092 --> 00:08:07,323
Oh, don't be.

177
00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:09,524
You were like a
foxy tea kettle.

178
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,257
Well, shall we start over?

179
00:08:14,259 --> 00:08:16,057
Very well.

180
00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:24,156
What's wrong?

181
00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:26,156
I'm not sure.

182
00:08:26,158 --> 00:08:28,457
Earlier tonight, things
began organically,

183
00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:30,123
and now it's
feeling forced,

184
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:34,123
like all the Pirates
of the Caribbean sequels.

185
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:37,891
Okay, that makes sense.

186
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,590
I mean, the mood's
a little different now.

187
00:08:40,592 --> 00:08:41,991
We-we don't have to rush.

188
00:08:41,993 --> 00:08:44,957
Oh, I know, but Leonard and
Penny think we're doing it,

189
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,323
and I don't want
to disappoint them.

190
00:08:49,526 --> 00:08:52,590
And the mood continues
to change.

191
00:08:52,592 --> 00:08:54,824
No, and also, I don't
want to disappoint you. I...

192
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,056
You know, come on.
It's your birthday.

193
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,223
I can soldier through this.

194
00:09:00,359 --> 00:09:02,024
H-Hold on.

195
00:09:02,026 --> 00:09:04,524
I think I might have
a little surprise

196
00:09:04,526 --> 00:09:09,323
that might help get things
back on track.

197
00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:11,423
Intriguing.

198
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,257
Is "back on track" a hint

199
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:15,223
that it has something
to do with trains?

200
00:09:17,492 --> 00:09:19,924
No.

201
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:22,624
Because if it did have to do
with trains, and you were

202
00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:24,557
gonna give...
It's not about trains!

203
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,891
Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper
car on the Orient Express?

204
00:09:26,893 --> 00:09:29,090
Stop talking
about trains!

205
00:09:30,392 --> 00:09:33,390
Who's killing the mood now?

206
00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:37,724
Found the backup inhaler.
Want to have sex?

207
00:09:39,726 --> 00:09:42,323
Well, I didn't
until I heard that.

208
00:09:42,325 --> 00:09:44,590
Hang on. I'm counting.

209
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,423
It's okay.
Mm.

210
00:09:50,893 --> 00:09:52,957
Hello!

211
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,357
Howard and Bernadette
kicked me out

212
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,423
because I told them
they're having a girl!

213
00:09:57,225 --> 00:09:59,724
Oopsy, I did it again.

214
00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:04,090
Maybe if we're quiet,
he'll go away.

215
00:10:04,092 --> 00:10:08,323
You're gonna
have to be quieter than that.

216
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,891
Can I look yet?

217
00:10:10,893 --> 00:10:12,824
One second.

218
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:15,657
All right,
you can open your eyes.

219
00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:23,724
I thought I'd let Harry Potter

220
00:10:23,726 --> 00:10:27,123
make things hotter.

221
00:10:29,058 --> 00:10:30,757
Wowza.

222
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:35,457
I got a Gryffindor robe
for you.

223
00:10:35,459 --> 00:10:36,557
Oh...

224
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:39,590
A Gryffindor sleeping
with a Hufflepuff?

225
00:10:40,425 --> 00:10:42,390
How scandalous.

226
00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:48,290
You naughty girl.

227
00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:51,290
You went to the Wizarding World
theme park without me.

228
00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:53,624
I did.

229
00:10:53,626 --> 00:10:55,956
Am I in trouble?

230
00:10:57,025 --> 00:10:58,156
Yes, you're in trouble...

231
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,457
you went to Wizarding World
without me!

232
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,457
Wait, what just happened?

233
00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:03,624
You know

234
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:05,490
I've been wanting to go.

235
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:07,724
Sheldon, do you
really want to argue with me

236
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:09,357
on my birthday?

237
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:11,790
Oh, you're right.

238
00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:13,724
I'm sorry.

239
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:18,457
Ooh. Happy birthday to me.

240
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:25,357
Hello...

241
00:11:27,325 --> 00:11:29,990
Is this about the baby?

242
00:11:29,992 --> 00:11:32,956
No. People just keep
kicking me out everywhere I go.

243
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:35,056
Good. Then you're used to this.

244
00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:37,390
Hey, Bernadette's water broke!

245
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,023
Come on! Everyone
to the hospital!

246
00:11:39,025 --> 00:11:41,590
You have got to be kidding me!

247
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,698
Just try to relax.
We'll be there any minute.

248
00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:54,673
Stuart, stop driving
like an old man.

249
00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:56,171
Speed it up a little.

250
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,905
I'm not an old man!

251
00:11:57,907 --> 00:12:00,071
I just can't see at night.

252
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,805
Here comes another one.

253
00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:05,805
Hey, Squinty,
the gas pedal's on the right!

254
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:07,705
All right, hang on.

255
00:12:07,707 --> 00:12:10,505
If you see any pedestrians,
just call 'em out.

256
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,871
Howard and Bernadette's kid
might be born on your birthday.

257
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:18,205
How cool is that?

258
00:12:18,207 --> 00:12:20,372
Yeah, but I thought this
baby was supposed to ruin

259
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:22,372
their sex life, not mine.

260
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,071
This is not how

261
00:12:24,073 --> 00:12:26,838
I imagined this day going...
I should be with them right now.

262
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,938
Well, it is
their child.

263
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:30,171
I know that.

264
00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:32,071
But to be fair,
I've spent nine months

265
00:12:32,073 --> 00:12:34,372
helping Bernadette
get ready for this baby.

266
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:37,171
And Howard spent five minutes
conceiving it.

267
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,405
And I'm being generous.

268
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,171
Five minutes?

269
00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:45,205
We must be doing it wrong.
It took us hours.

270
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:50,705
And-and the worst part is

271
00:12:50,707 --> 00:12:54,338
that they kicked me out
and let Stuart stay.

272
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,971
I understand, but this is
a special day for them.

273
00:12:56,973 --> 00:12:59,105
Can you just try and let it go?

274
00:12:59,107 --> 00:13:00,438
She's right.

275
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,639
You know, I just learned Amy
went to a theme park without me,

276
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:05,505
but I'm not going
to ruin her birthday.

277
00:13:05,507 --> 00:13:08,305
I'll wait, and ruin
24 individual hours

278
00:13:08,307 --> 00:13:10,605
sprinkled
throughout the year.

279
00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:14,505
Boop.

280
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:21,305
Deep breaths,
slow breaths.

281
00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:24,472
I'm so thirsty.
Give me more ice chips.

282
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:33,438
Sorry. I... thought
these were room ice chips.

283
00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:36,672
I'll go get some more.

284
00:13:36,674 --> 00:13:38,539
Uh, Stuart, while
you're out there,

285
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,305
don't come back.

286
00:13:40,307 --> 00:13:42,138
Okay.

287
00:13:44,607 --> 00:13:48,472
So, what are we gonna
name this kid?

288
00:13:48,474 --> 00:13:50,338
Now that we know
she's a girl,

289
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,838
it kind of ruins my plan
for Wally Wolowitz.

290
00:13:55,107 --> 00:13:57,238
Could name her
after your mom.

291
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,372
Debbie?

292
00:13:58,374 --> 00:13:59,838
No.

293
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,639
She hated that name.

294
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,238
Did she have a middle name?

295
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,905
Melvina.

296
00:14:06,207 --> 00:14:09,305
Let's keep thinking.

297
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,005
Mm.
Ah.

298
00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:14,539
It sucks that
she's not here.

299
00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,138
I know.

300
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,438
Hm.

301
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,672
She would've been
the best grandma.

302
00:14:20,674 --> 00:14:22,804
She did always have candy
in her pocket.

303
00:14:22,806 --> 00:14:24,605
Yeah.

304
00:14:24,607 --> 00:14:27,272
I was 20 years old
before I figured out

305
00:14:27,274 --> 00:14:30,539
Tootsie Rolls weren't
naturally warm.

306
00:14:31,674 --> 00:14:34,238
I didn't know her
five minutes and she asked,

307
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,372
"Are you a Milky Way
or a Snickers girl?"

308
00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:42,272
Thank God you answered right,
we wouldn't be here today.

309
00:14:44,706 --> 00:14:46,672
It's hard to believe
Howard's having a kid.

310
00:14:46,674 --> 00:14:48,005
Yeah.

311
00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:50,071
Penny, you're the one who
introduced him to Bernie.

312
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:52,572
How many times do I have
to say I'm sorry?

313
00:14:53,773 --> 00:14:56,038
It's not just Howard
and Bernadette. I mean,

314
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,771
look how far
we've all come.

315
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:58,704
Hmm.
Hmm.

316
00:14:58,706 --> 00:14:59,971
You two got married.

317
00:14:59,973 --> 00:15:02,505
Sheldon and I
are living together.

318
00:15:02,507 --> 00:15:05,071
But if my mom asks,
we have bunk beds.

319
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,138
Penny was a struggling
actress when we met,

320
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,372
and now she's a successful
pharmaceutical rep.

321
00:15:11,374 --> 00:15:13,971
Okay, you don't have to say
"struggling" every time.

322
00:15:13,973 --> 00:15:16,639
You can just say "actress."

323
00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:18,539
Howard went to space.

324
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:20,804
Bernadette got
her doctorate.

325
00:15:20,806 --> 00:15:23,005
Sheldon, Howard and I are
working with the government

326
00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,671
on our quantum gyroscope.

327
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,938
We've all come a long way.

328
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,472
There's a lot
to be proud of.

329
00:15:29,907 --> 00:15:33,572
For God's sake, just drive in
the knife, why don't you!

330
00:15:35,474 --> 00:15:37,539
What's your problem?
Well, you're all thinking

331
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:40,905
that I'm the only one who
hasn't done anything worthwhile.

332
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,372
I was not thinking it.

333
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:46,605
Although, now that
you point it out, it is undeniable.

334
00:15:46,607 --> 00:15:48,338
Raj, if it's
any consolation,

335
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:51,372
I'm no better off than
I was ten years ago.

336
00:15:51,374 --> 00:15:53,905
Oh, yay!

337
00:15:53,907 --> 00:15:56,205
I have a doctorate
in astrophysics

338
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:57,771
and I'm every bit as awesome

339
00:15:57,773 --> 00:16:00,438
as the pasty-faced owner
of a comic book store!

340
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,005
Raj! Show some compassion.

341
00:16:03,007 --> 00:16:06,038
Those are things that
we think but don't say.

342
00:16:09,706 --> 00:16:11,338
Excuse me.

343
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,372
Sorry, Stuart.

344
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,804
Hey, I'm in a hospital
and I'm not the patient.

345
00:16:16,806 --> 00:16:18,638
I'm fine.

346
00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:21,238
Come on, Bernie, breathe.

347
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,305
Remember what you learned
in birthing class.

348
00:16:23,307 --> 00:16:25,338
I remember thinking,
"This is stupid"

349
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:28,138
and I was right!

350
00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:29,804
Do you want me
to get the nurse?

351
00:16:29,806 --> 00:16:32,671
No! If one more person puts
their fingers near my uterus,

352
00:16:32,673 --> 00:16:35,905
I'm gonna cross my legs
and snap 'em off!

353
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,738
I've come to peace with my
relationship with my parents.

354
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,105
That was a big milestone for me.

355
00:16:45,107 --> 00:16:47,005
Oh, speaking of personal growth,

356
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:50,505
I recently tried eating
Swiss chard.

357
00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:56,405
You know, I didn't swallow it,
but Amy said it counted.

358
00:16:57,374 --> 00:17:00,138
Hey.
Hey.

359
00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:05,838
Still a loser or
did you turn things around

360
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,005
while you were gone?

361
00:17:09,573 --> 00:17:10,804
You know, Raj, honey,

362
00:17:10,806 --> 00:17:12,571
you're being
too hard on yourself.

363
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,571
When I first met you,
you couldn't even talk to women.

364
00:17:14,573 --> 00:17:16,472
I mean, you couldn't even talk
if one was in the room.

365
00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:17,871
Oh, great, now I can say

366
00:17:17,873 --> 00:17:20,604
things like "I can't believe
you're breaking up with me."

367
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:23,571
"Why are you breaking up
with me?"

368
00:17:23,573 --> 00:17:26,671
"Yes, I'll still help you move"

369
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:28,938
Anyone else want to try?

370
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,472
Uh, yeah, I got something.

371
00:17:31,474 --> 00:17:32,738
Raj,

372
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:35,838
not everybody
could be a dog owner.

373
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:41,238
Oh, what? Did your doggie
break up with you too?

374
00:17:42,307 --> 00:17:45,171
Hey, I bought M&Ms
at the vending machine

375
00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:46,338
and two bags came out.

376
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,138
I bought the first one,

377
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,604
it didn't fall.

378
00:17:50,606 --> 00:17:53,504
Here.

379
00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,938
She's here, the baby's here!

380
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,238
- Oh! Oh.
- Congratulations!

381
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,571
How's Bernadette?

382
00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:03,005
Tired, but great.

383
00:18:03,007 --> 00:18:04,171
They're both great.

384
00:18:04,173 --> 00:18:05,504
Does the baby have a name yet?

385
00:18:05,506 --> 00:18:07,971
We have named her Halley.

386
00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:09,571
- Oh!
- Oh, like Halley's comet.

387
00:18:09,573 --> 00:18:10,604
Exactly.

388
00:18:10,606 --> 00:18:12,238
Also like the comet,
Bernadette said

389
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,105
she's not gonna have sex
with me for another 75 years.

390
00:18:16,107 --> 00:18:19,571
That's not a real thing,
he's just joking.

391
00:18:19,573 --> 00:18:21,005
I'm gonna get back.

392
00:18:21,007 --> 00:18:23,338
Thank you for staying up,
I can't wait for Halley to meet

393
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:24,504
her new aunts and uncles

394
00:18:24,506 --> 00:18:26,804
and godfather.

395
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,738
Really?

396
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,871
Of course.

397
00:18:30,873 --> 00:18:32,171
You hear that, Stuart?

398
00:18:32,173 --> 00:18:35,338
I've got a dog and a godchild,
you have nothing!

399
00:18:41,873 --> 00:18:44,938
Oh, look at all the babies!

400
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,238
Some will be successful,

401
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,405
some may be homeless.

402
00:18:51,407 --> 00:18:54,272
It's fun to think about.

403
00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:57,771
I wonder which one's Halley.

404
00:18:57,773 --> 00:18:59,571
Kind of hard to see the names.

405
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,005
Mm, that one kind of
looks like Bernadette.

406
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,604
They all look the same to me.

407
00:19:03,606 --> 00:19:04,771
Guys,

408
00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:06,105
she's my goddaughter,

409
00:19:06,107 --> 00:19:08,771
I think I'll know
when I see her.

410
00:19:19,096 --> 00:19:21,261
That one.

411
00:19:29,661 --> 00:19:31,560
Well, that was quite a day.

412
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,625
It was.

413
00:19:33,627 --> 00:19:35,326
Bernadette had her baby,

414
00:19:35,328 --> 00:19:37,259
I made it to Wizarding World,

415
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:39,026
and now it is time to complete

416
00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:41,259
your birthday celebration.

417
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:42,425
Hankius

418
00:19:42,427 --> 00:19:46,093
pankius.

419
00:19:46,095 --> 00:19:48,692
I was afraid you'd be too tired.

420
00:19:48,694 --> 00:19:51,525
Amy, I just saw a magic train

421
00:19:51,527 --> 00:19:55,259
and reported somebody
for cutting the line.

422
00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:58,992
If that's not foreplay,
I don't know what is.

423
00:20:03,817 --> 00:20:10,610
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man