1
00:00:02,024 --> 00:00:04,022
Go!

2
00:00:04,024 --> 00:00:04,755
Come on, Raj!

3
00:00:04,757 --> 00:00:05,655
You can do this!

4
00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:06,688
There's no way.

5
00:00:06,690 --> 00:00:07,789
What is happening?

6
00:00:07,791 --> 00:00:08,789
This is an Euler's Disk.

7
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:09,789
It's a physics toy

8
00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:11,256
that demonstrates
angular momentum,

9
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:13,423
potential energy,
and kinetic energy.

10
00:00:13,425 --> 00:00:15,588
Aw, look at you
watching sports.

11
00:00:16,457 --> 00:00:17,755
We're betting to see
if Koothrappali

12
00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:18,688
can hold his breath

13
00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:20,122
longer than the
disk can spin.

14
00:00:20,124 --> 00:00:21,622
Its weight and smoothness,

15
00:00:21,624 --> 00:00:24,189
along with the slight concavity
of the mirror, means it can spin

16
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,455
for a long time.

17
00:00:25,457 --> 00:00:26,922
But Raj is from India,
which means

18
00:00:26,924 --> 00:00:29,122
he's no slouch
at holding his breath.

19
00:00:30,258 --> 00:00:32,256
Okay, I want in. Ten bucks says
I'll lose interest

20
00:00:32,258 --> 00:00:35,289
before that thing
stops spinning.

21
00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:38,322
Hey, Sheldon, I found a great
restaurant for date night.

22
00:00:38,324 --> 00:00:39,622
Kind of busy right now.

23
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,156
Oh, an Euler's Disk! Fun!
Yeah, we're seeing

24
00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:44,156
if Raj can hold his
breath longer than it.

25
00:00:44,158 --> 00:00:46,122
Oh. Immature.

26
00:00:47,091 --> 00:00:48,289
How ya doing?

27
00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:49,289
Mm.

28
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,622
He's not gonna make it.

29
00:00:50,624 --> 00:00:52,289
Yes, he is!
You know,

30
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,955
deep-sea divers holding
their breath for several minutes

31
00:00:54,957 --> 00:00:56,889
have shown elevated markers
of a protein

32
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,822
that can signal brain damage.

33
00:00:58,824 --> 00:01:01,955
Yeah, see, what's happening here
signals brain damage.

34
00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:05,256
My God, how long does
this thing spin for?

35
00:01:05,258 --> 00:01:08,389
Ha! You're interested!
You're out ten bucks!

36
00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:10,488
It's slowing down!
Dig deep!

37
00:01:10,490 --> 00:01:13,388
Like when we bet you couldn't
fit into Howard's pants!

38
00:01:15,891 --> 00:01:16,922
He's not gonna make it!

39
00:01:16,924 --> 00:01:17,722
Yes, he is!

40
00:01:17,724 --> 00:01:19,022
Come on, Raj!
It's like

41
00:01:19,024 --> 00:01:22,455
your favorite movie!
You're just Waiting to Exhale!

42
00:01:27,024 --> 00:01:29,189
Yeah! I knew you
could do it!

43
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,289
And j.. and just so you know,

44
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:34,122
my favorite movie...

45
00:01:34,124 --> 00:01:36,488
is Princess Bride.

46
00:02:00,831 --> 00:02:06,825
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

47
00:02:09,692 --> 00:02:11,657
Hello, Rajesh.
How are things by you?

48
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:12,757
Good, good.

49
00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:14,924
Uh, listen,
I just wanted to let you know

50
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,423
when you get
my credit card bill,

51
00:02:16,425 --> 00:02:18,323
it might be a little high
this month.

52
00:02:18,325 --> 00:02:20,590
Well, you're a grown man
with a steady job.

53
00:02:20,592 --> 00:02:24,357
Why wouldn't you spend
all your father's money?

54
00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:28,690
Oh, Daddy,
you're so rich and funny.

55
00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:31,857
Yeah. So what else is going on
with your life?

56
00:02:31,859 --> 00:02:34,991
Uh, well, I was dating a woman
at the university,

57
00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:36,357
but we broke up.

58
00:02:36,359 --> 00:02:38,258
I'm sorry to hear that.

59
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,323
I know you are. That's why
you just bought me a new iPad.

60
00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:44,057
And before you start,

61
00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:47,124
I am not interested in
you arranging a marriage for me.

62
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,523
Oh, I gave up on that
a long time ago.

63
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,590
You did?

64
00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:51,957
It's too much work.

65
00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:53,390
You're an adult who can't get by

66
00:02:53,392 --> 00:02:55,457
without an allowance
from his parents.

67
00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,124
Women don't want that.

68
00:02:57,126 --> 00:03:00,290
Wh-What are you saying,
that y-you're giving up on me?

69
00:03:00,292 --> 00:03:02,557
What kind of father gives up
on his son?

70
00:03:02,559 --> 00:03:03,857
I have six children,

71
00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:06,157
five of whom are married
and self-sufficient.

72
00:03:06,159 --> 00:03:09,590
I don't think I'm the problem.

73
00:03:10,459 --> 00:03:12,124
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.

74
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:14,557
This is deeply hurtful.

75
00:03:14,559 --> 00:03:15,624
You're also too sensitive.

76
00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:18,390
Women don't want that either.

77
00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:23,523
The food here's
supposed to be great.

78
00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:24,890
Don't fill up
on chips.

79
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:26,624
Oh, I won't.
I have a trick.

80
00:03:26,626 --> 00:03:29,224
I only eat
equilateral triangles.

81
00:03:30,425 --> 00:03:33,124
Isosceles, isosceles,

82
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:35,724
oh, scalene...

83
00:03:36,559 --> 00:03:38,757
You didn't see that.

84
00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:41,690
Oh, look.

85
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:43,057
It's Bert, at the bar.

86
00:03:43,059 --> 00:03:44,557
We should
go say hi.

87
00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:47,024
Why?

88
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,957
Because that's what you do

89
00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:51,857
when you see someone you know
in a public place.

90
00:03:51,859 --> 00:03:56,024
I have multiple restraining
orders that say otherwise.

91
00:03:57,692 --> 00:04:00,457
Sheldon, there's a difference
between greeting a friend

92
00:04:00,459 --> 00:04:02,824
and following a celebrity
into a bathroom.

93
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,824
If the judge
couldn't explain it to me,

94
00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:08,024
I don't see how you will.

95
00:04:10,059 --> 00:04:11,757
Hi, Bert.
Hello.

96
00:04:11,759 --> 00:04:13,223
Oh, hey, guys.

97
00:04:13,225 --> 00:04:14,290
What brings you here?

98
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,323
Oh, we're having date night.
Nice.

99
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:17,724
I'm meeting someone, too.

100
00:04:17,726 --> 00:04:19,257
Oh, really. Anybody we know?

101
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,290
I doubt it. I met
her on G-Harmony.

102
00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,957
That's a Web site for
geologists to find love.

103
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:27,690
That's a real thing?

104
00:04:27,692 --> 00:04:30,790
Yeah. Their slogan is
"We're all about dating

105
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:33,290
and not the carbon-14 kind"

106
00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:37,390
Well, have
a lovely evening.

107
00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:39,257
Thanks. You, too.

108
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:41,790
If you think
that's more fun than talking

109
00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:44,223
to Zachary Quinto through
a stall door, you're crazy.

110
00:04:47,225 --> 00:04:48,523
You know, we could've come
to you guys.

111
00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:50,057
You didn't have to bring
the baby here.

112
00:04:50,059 --> 00:04:51,724
Oh, it's okay. It's good
to get out of the house.

113
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,257
And the car ride
puts her to sleep.

114
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,790
Aw, that used to work
with Sheldon.

115
00:04:55,792 --> 00:04:59,157
Yeah, until someone left him
in the drugstore parking lot

116
00:04:59,158 --> 00:05:00,523
and he freaked out.

117
00:05:00,525 --> 00:05:02,190
Who forgot to crack the window?

118
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:04,223
Hello!

119
00:05:04,225 --> 00:05:05,523
- Hey.
- Oh,

120
00:05:05,525 --> 00:05:07,024
someone's been shopping
at Gucci.

121
00:05:07,026 --> 00:05:09,890
Yeah, I saw something for Halley
and I couldn't resist.

122
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,724
That's so
sweet of you.

123
00:05:11,726 --> 00:05:15,557
Yeah, it's a crushed velvet
baby cape.

124
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:20,124
Oh, no, now we have two.

125
00:05:21,026 --> 00:05:23,257
That must've been expensive.
Yeah, it was.

126
00:05:23,259 --> 00:05:26,490
But it's my father's money
and I'm mad at him.

127
00:05:27,659 --> 00:05:28,624
What's going on with your dad?

128
00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:29,824
And if you really want
to hurt him,

129
00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:31,557
I look great in Chanel.

130
00:05:31,559 --> 00:05:35,190
It turns out he doesn't care
if I'm married or if I'm single.

131
00:05:35,192 --> 00:05:37,024
He's basically given up on me.

132
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,091
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.

133
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:41,991
It is. He stopped trying to find
Indian girls for me to marry.

134
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:44,223
All you did was complain
when he did that.

135
00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:47,190
Leonard, he's hurting.
Let him feel how he feels.

136
00:05:47,192 --> 00:05:48,991
Thank you, Penny.
Yeah.

137
00:05:48,993 --> 00:05:51,123
Shoes, I'm a seven-and-a-half;
boots, I'm an eight.

138
00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:56,156
MSN Search,

139
00:05:56,158 --> 00:05:58,156
AltaVista,

140
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,156
and... Ask Jeeves.

141
00:06:01,158 --> 00:06:02,490
You?

142
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,091
Sorry, I don't have a list

143
00:06:04,093 --> 00:06:06,757
of defunct search engines
that I miss.

144
00:06:08,692 --> 00:06:10,523
Hey. Looks like I got stood up,

145
00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:12,057
so I'm gonna head out.

146
00:06:12,059 --> 00:06:13,557
Oh, no. Are you sure
you don't want to give her

147
00:06:13,559 --> 00:06:14,624
a few more minutes?

148
00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:17,724
Nah, G-Harmony recommends
after two hours,

149
00:06:17,726 --> 00:06:20,757
it's time to cut bait.

150
00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:23,590
I'm so sorry.

151
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,323
Bert, I insist
that you join us.

152
00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:28,190
You really wouldn't mind?

153
00:06:28,192 --> 00:06:29,757
Not at all. Amy?

154
00:06:29,759 --> 00:06:31,024
Fine with me.

155
00:06:31,026 --> 00:06:33,523
Thanks. I'll go grab a chair.

156
00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:36,724
Sheldon, that was so sweet
of you.

157
00:06:36,726 --> 00:06:38,924
Well, I could deduce
by his facial expression

158
00:06:38,926 --> 00:06:41,123
and body language
that he was sad.

159
00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:45,390
So the part where he got
stood up didn't clue you in?

160
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:50,390
You want me to look at him
and listen to him?

161
00:06:51,592 --> 00:06:54,757
My father thinks the reason
I can't make a relationship work

162
00:06:54,759 --> 00:06:56,423
is because I'm spoiled.

163
00:07:01,525 --> 00:07:05,090
I'm sorry, is he waiting
for someone to disagree?

164
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,024
Just because he helps me out

165
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,757
doesn't automatically mean
that I'm spoiled.

166
00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:11,477
All right, how much exactly
does he pay for?

167
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,056
Okay,
I'll tell you,

168
00:07:15,058 --> 00:07:16,523
but please don't judge me.

169
00:07:16,525 --> 00:07:20,490
He pays for my car, my rent,
and my credit cards.

170
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,590
I'm trying, but I'm judging.

171
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,090
Maybe your dad's right.

172
00:07:29,092 --> 00:07:31,423
Yeah, women do like a man
that can support himself.

173
00:07:31,425 --> 00:07:33,023
But Bernadette makes
more money than Howard.

174
00:07:33,025 --> 00:07:36,156
She basically
supports him.

175
00:07:36,158 --> 00:07:38,757
Yeah, maybe your
dad's right.

176
00:07:41,626 --> 00:07:44,523
Good question. Let's see.

177
00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:46,390
Infoseek,

178
00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:48,257
WebCrawler,

179
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,156
oh, HotBot.

180
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:52,890
Okay, literally
any other topic.

181
00:07:53,659 --> 00:07:56,824
All right.
How did you guys meet?

182
00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:58,990
Actually, we met online.

183
00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:00,990
Our-our first date
was at a coffee shop.

184
00:08:00,992 --> 00:08:04,056
Although, unlike your date,
she actually showed up.

185
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,423
Oh, he looks sad again.

186
00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:11,323
Well, I really envy
your relationship.

187
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,890
Other than you two only
having sex once a year,

188
00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:16,490
you're the perfect couple.

189
00:08:17,992 --> 00:08:19,924
You-you know about that?

190
00:08:19,926 --> 00:08:23,123
Uh, yeah, everyone at
the university does.

191
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,257
Were you aware of this?

192
00:08:25,259 --> 00:08:29,290
No. No, I only told Leonard,
Howard, Raj,

193
00:08:29,292 --> 00:08:32,557
Kripke, uh, Professor Wu,
Professor Klein,

194
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,523
and a lunch lady
in the cafeteria.

195
00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:38,956
How everyone else found out
is a mystery to me.

196
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:51,555
Why aren't you
talking to me?

197
00:08:51,557 --> 00:08:53,555
- Because I'm mad at you.
- Oh.

198
00:08:53,557 --> 00:08:56,855
Well, now I'm sorry I asked.

199
00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:58,788
Sheldon, it's humiliating.

200
00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:01,954
Thanks to you, my colleagues are
gossiping about our sex life.

201
00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:03,455
What is there to gossip about?

202
00:09:03,457 --> 00:09:05,788
We barely have one.

203
00:09:06,624 --> 00:09:09,321
That's why they're doing it!

204
00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:16,355
Is it safe to assume
you're not speaking to me again?

205
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:20,288
If you're not answering because
you're not speaking to me,

206
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,188
perhaps we could come up
with a signal!

207
00:09:27,156 --> 00:09:28,855
That works!

208
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,887
You don't need your dad's money.

209
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:35,188
- You can get by on your salary.
- Yeah.

210
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,355
Well, we work at the
same place as you, and

211
00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:38,954
- we've always been fine.
- Oh, please.

212
00:09:38,956 --> 00:09:42,288
Look in the mirror. You both
look ten years older than I do.

213
00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:44,887
All right.

214
00:09:44,889 --> 00:09:46,221
Hang on. We can
figure this out.

215
00:09:46,223 --> 00:09:48,887
Let's just go over your
expenses. How much is your rent?

216
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,722
I don't want to say.

217
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,921
Is it really
that high?

218
00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:56,221
I don't want to say because
I don't know how much it is.

219
00:09:56,223 --> 00:09:58,521
You don't how much
your rent is?

220
00:09:58,523 --> 00:10:00,413
My father pays for it! Do you
know how much your rent is?

221
00:10:00,437 --> 00:10:01,389
Yeah.

222
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:02,688
Well, then double it,

223
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,722
because my building's
a lot nicer than this dump.

224
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:08,854
Do you know how
much your car costs?

225
00:10:08,856 --> 00:10:09,921
Not really.

226
00:10:09,923 --> 00:10:11,954
Well, how much
do you spend on food?

227
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:14,988
The housekeeper
does the shopping.

228
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,555
Oh, my God, you
really are spoiled.

229
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:19,854
I'm spoiled?

230
00:10:19,856 --> 00:10:23,555
Your baby has a cape
that costs $300!

231
00:10:29,156 --> 00:10:30,254
I'm going to bed.

232
00:10:30,256 --> 00:10:31,755
Well, wait.

233
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:35,588
This is our first fight as
a couple who live together.

234
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:36,854
So?

235
00:10:36,856 --> 00:10:39,121
I'm not sure of the protocol.

236
00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:40,421
Television teaches us

237
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:42,021
that the man's supposed
to sleep on the couch,

238
00:10:42,023 --> 00:10:45,655
but of the two of us,
you're clearly more sofa-sized.

239
00:10:45,657 --> 00:10:47,521
I'm not sleeping on the couch

240
00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:49,921
'cause you don't know
what's private and what's not.

241
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:51,954
This isn't fair.

242
00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:53,321
You've discussed aspects

243
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,154
of our physical relationship
with Penny.

244
00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,588
That's different!

245
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,154
She's a close friend,
not the lady in the cafeteria

246
00:10:59,156 --> 00:11:01,988
who cuts the crust off
your sandwiches!

247
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,588
That lady has a name.

248
00:11:03,590 --> 00:11:05,121
I don't know what it is,

249
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,521
but one time,
I accidentally called her "Mom".

250
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,154
Sounds like you're gonna
need a cheaper place to live.

251
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:15,321
When you moved here,
you didn't have a lot of money.

252
00:11:15,323 --> 00:11:16,388
How'd you get by?

253
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:18,521
Well, sometimes
you can get free food

254
00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:21,388
and Wi-Fi from the neighbors.

255
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,854
Just know

256
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,921
you might have
to marry one of 'em.

257
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:28,488
Hey, you guys let Stuart
live with you.

258
00:11:28,490 --> 00:11:29,655
Why not Raj, too?

259
00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:32,321
What-what are you doing? I...

260
00:11:33,856 --> 00:11:36,921
I-I-I schlepped the baby over,
I brought imported beer.

261
00:11:36,923 --> 00:11:38,821
Why don't you like me?

262
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:39,921
Well,

263
00:11:39,923 --> 00:11:41,241
I thought
we were best friends!

264
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,255
We are!

265
00:11:42,256 --> 00:11:45,787
That's why I'm sad my best
friend's gonna be homeless.

266
00:11:47,923 --> 00:11:51,021
I'm sorry, Raj. We really
just don't have the space.

267
00:11:51,023 --> 00:11:52,421
What if he lives in your garage?

268
00:11:52,423 --> 00:11:54,754
What if you stop helping?

269
00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:58,954
Guys, I'm not living
in a garage!

270
00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:01,088
Wait. Why are we talking
about our place

271
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:04,854
when Sheldon's old room is
sitting there perfectly empty?

272
00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:08,754
That's a great idea.

273
00:12:08,756 --> 00:12:11,188
Raj,

274
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:14,421
if you need a place to stay,
of course you are welcome here.

275
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:18,588
Thank you, but if I'm gonna just
take advantage of my friends,

276
00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,421
I might as well keep on
relying on my father.

277
00:12:21,423 --> 00:12:22,821
Okay, only if you're sure.

278
00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,188
Whew.

279
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:26,588
Yeah.

280
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:29,688
Amy?

281
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:30,954
Amy?

282
00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:33,288
Amy?
Yeah?

283
00:12:34,323 --> 00:12:37,088
Not exactly the welcome wagon,
but I'll take it.

284
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:41,154
What is this?

285
00:12:41,156 --> 00:12:43,988
I'm mapping basic topics
of conversation

286
00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,688
and with whom
they can be discussed.

287
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:51,054
I call these circles
"Zones of Privacy"

288
00:12:51,056 --> 00:12:52,321
Don't Google that

289
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:54,787
unless you want to see pictures
of people's genitals.

290
00:12:54,789 --> 00:12:58,521
This circle contains
only me and you.

291
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,388
It represents subjects we
only share with each other...

292
00:13:01,390 --> 00:13:05,221
details of physical intimacy,
bathroom habits.

293
00:13:05,223 --> 00:13:07,054
Although, as I'm saying it,

294
00:13:07,056 --> 00:13:10,954
I may need
to add Dr. Fink in here.

295
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,355
Are you really worried

296
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:14,687
about revealing secrets
to Stephen Hawking?

297
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:19,321
No, I was just excited
to list him as a friend.

298
00:13:19,323 --> 00:13:22,555
Well, I do appreciate
you working on this.

299
00:13:24,323 --> 00:13:26,221
I'm sorry you were embarrassed.

300
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:28,088
And now I understand that

301
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:30,421
some things are just
between you and me,

302
00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:34,921
and in the event of redness
and swelling, Dr. Fink.

303
00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:39,021
What's that little dot
in the middle?

304
00:13:39,023 --> 00:13:42,254
That's reserved for thoughts
I don't share with anyone.

305
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:46,555
Interesting. You really
have secrets you don't tell me?

306
00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,121
Of course.

307
00:13:48,123 --> 00:13:49,821
Can I hear one?

308
00:13:49,823 --> 00:13:51,854
No, they're private.

309
00:13:51,856 --> 00:13:55,754
Why? Are they naughty?

310
00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:58,787
A little.

311
00:13:58,789 --> 00:14:00,455
Please?

312
00:14:00,457 --> 00:14:02,654
Fine.

313
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,988
Two years ago...

314
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,887
I got my driver's license.

315
00:14:10,723 --> 00:14:13,154
What?

316
00:14:14,423 --> 00:14:16,421
Why didn't
you say anything?

317
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:19,821
I like being
chauffeured around.

318
00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:22,421
It makes me feel important.

319
00:14:24,056 --> 00:14:27,121
So when I got up at 4:00 a.m.
to drive you across the desert

320
00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:30,054
to an antique train museum,
I didn't have to?

321
00:14:30,056 --> 00:14:31,321
No, you didn't.

322
00:14:31,323 --> 00:14:33,121
But keep in mind,

323
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:36,288
I felt extremely important.

324
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,587
What?

325
00:14:44,589 --> 00:14:45,821
Hello, Father.

326
00:14:45,823 --> 00:14:47,088
We need to talk.

327
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:48,488
All right.

328
00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:50,221
I have come
to an important decision.

329
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,054
I will not be accepting
your money anymore.

330
00:14:52,056 --> 00:14:54,787
I'm a man,
and I can take care of myself.

331
00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:56,455
That's wonderful!

332
00:14:56,457 --> 00:14:57,754
Yes, that is wonderful!

333
00:14:57,756 --> 00:14:59,954
You will no longer be able
to accuse me of being spoiled!

334
00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:01,854
I am so proud of you.

335
00:15:01,856 --> 00:15:03,088
Dad, I'm trying to tell you off,

336
00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,988
and you're ruining it
with your delight and relief.

337
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:08,821
Sorry.

338
00:15:08,823 --> 00:15:11,954
Oh, no, my grown son is going
to stop spending all my money.

339
00:15:11,956 --> 00:15:14,887
Where did I fail as a father?

340
00:15:14,889 --> 00:15:16,921
Yeah, that's right.

341
00:15:16,923 --> 00:15:18,455
Keep asking yourself that!

342
00:15:19,689 --> 00:15:23,221
But I still love you very much,
so don't cut me out of the will.

343
00:15:31,687 --> 00:15:33,119
Oh, you brought
your own lunch.

344
00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:34,286
Good for you.

345
00:15:34,288 --> 00:15:36,419
Yeah, I'm making a bunch
of changes.

346
00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:38,585
This morning,
I fired my dog walker.

347
00:15:38,587 --> 00:15:40,986
Oh. How's the dog gonna go
to the bathroom?

348
00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:42,552
Uh, I gave her an Imodium.

349
00:15:42,554 --> 00:15:44,319
That's tomorrow's problem.

350
00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:49,219
Excuse me. May I have
your attention, please?

351
00:15:49,221 --> 00:15:50,752
I have recently

352
00:15:50,754 --> 00:15:53,519
been made aware
that my personal relationship

353
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:56,719
with Amy Farrah Fowler has
become water cooler gossip.

354
00:15:56,721 --> 00:16:00,619
And I just want to say,
shame on all of you.

355
00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:03,286
We're scientists.

356
00:16:03,288 --> 00:16:04,552
Our minds should be focused

357
00:16:04,554 --> 00:16:07,019
on the advancement
of human knowledge,

358
00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:09,519
not the intimate details
of other people's lives.

359
00:16:09,521 --> 00:16:12,052
He's right.

360
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,619
And I'm sorry for the part
I played in this.

361
00:16:14,621 --> 00:16:16,319
Thank you, Bert.

362
00:16:16,321 --> 00:16:19,419
You're a good man. That
woman who stood you up

363
00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:21,986
and humiliated you last
night really missed out.

364
00:16:23,388 --> 00:16:26,652
That doesn't paint me
in the best light.

365
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:28,752
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

366
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:33,852
That woman not only
had vigorous coitus with Bert...

367
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:37,986
she also tipped him a
dollar for a job well done.

368
00:16:40,721 --> 00:16:43,153
- That better?
- Not really.

369
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,786
All right, well, to sum up...
focus on science,

370
00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:50,019
keep your nose out
of other people's business,

371
00:16:50,021 --> 00:16:52,786
and, uh, whoa,
for a good time, call Bert.

372
00:16:59,954 --> 00:17:01,986
What brought that on?

373
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,386
Well, last night Amy was angry

374
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:06,886
with me because I'd been
foolishly telling people

375
00:17:06,888 --> 00:17:08,752
about certain personal matters.

376
00:17:08,754 --> 00:17:10,519
That's understandable.

377
00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:11,986
Oh, I know that now.

378
00:17:11,988 --> 00:17:13,852
At first, I thought
she was cranky

379
00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:16,319
because of her horrific
menstrual cramps, but...

380
00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:19,986
it turns out, no, she
was genuinely mortified.

381
00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:28,371
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man