1
00:00:00,382 --> 00:00:02,779
I have to do a little
reception after work.

2
00:00:02,781 --> 00:00:05,612
Oh, I would, but we need to make
a push on the air force project.

3
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:06,846
Oh, are you sure?

4
00:00:06,848 --> 00:00:08,646
We're celebrating
our new A.D.D. drug,

5
00:00:08,648 --> 00:00:11,413
and it'll probably be over
in, like, six minutes.

6
00:00:12,548 --> 00:00:13,746
Did you say you guys
are working on

7
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:15,913
the guidance system tomorrow?
Yeah, why?

8
00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:17,713
Well, Sheldon said that
he was gonna work with me

9
00:00:17,715 --> 00:00:19,313
on our quantum
perception project.

10
00:00:19,315 --> 00:00:21,413
We've had this planned
for a week.

11
00:00:21,415 --> 00:00:23,380
Well, he reconfirmed
with me this morning.

12
00:00:23,382 --> 00:00:25,180
Guys, before this
gets ugly, remember,

13
00:00:25,182 --> 00:00:27,146
the winner gets Sheldon.

14
00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:30,579
Hey, Raj, do you want
to go with me tomorrow?

15
00:00:30,581 --> 00:00:33,080
Are you asking because you
want me there or out of pity?

16
00:00:33,082 --> 00:00:34,612
Actually, never mind,
don't answer.

17
00:00:34,614 --> 00:00:35,779
I'd love to.

18
00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:39,480
Hello.

19
00:00:39,482 --> 00:00:40,813
Why did you tell Leonard
you're working on

20
00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,746
the gyroscope tomorrow?
Because I am.

21
00:00:42,748 --> 00:00:44,190
But you said you were
working with me.

22
00:00:44,214 --> 00:00:45,047
Uh-oh.

23
00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:49,113
Someone's got two dates
to the nerd prom.

24
00:00:49,781 --> 00:00:50,779
I have a plan

25
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:53,313
to work on both
projects simultaneously.

26
00:00:53,315 --> 00:00:55,946
And for your information,
the summer conference

27
00:00:55,948 --> 00:00:59,113
on algebraic topology
at Caltech is nerd prom.

28
00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,347
I'm sorry, what is
this plan you have?

29
00:01:02,349 --> 00:01:05,213
Well, I'm not needed at
both places at the same time.

30
00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:08,180
And I can also free up extra
hours with simple tricks,

31
00:01:08,182 --> 00:01:11,280
such as using a minimal amount
of words to convey my point.

32
00:01:11,282 --> 00:01:13,646
When does
that start?

33
00:01:14,748 --> 00:01:15,813
Soon.

34
00:01:15,815 --> 00:01:17,180
See, I could've said

35
00:01:17,182 --> 00:01:18,913
"in the near future," but I
didn't say "in the near future,"

36
00:01:18,915 --> 00:01:21,979
'cause "in the near future" is
three more words than "soon."

37
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:24,779
"In" one, "the" two, "near"
three, "future" four.

38
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:26,713
See "in the near future"
is four, "soon" is just one,

39
00:01:26,715 --> 00:01:29,679
four is more than one;
saving time already.

40
00:01:31,082 --> 00:01:32,380
Genius.

41
00:01:32,382 --> 00:01:33,579
I was gonna say,

42
00:01:33,581 --> 00:01:36,046
"Why does anyone think
Sheldon's a genius?"

43
00:01:36,048 --> 00:01:38,046
But I didn't.

44
00:02:02,023 --> 00:02:08,516
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

45
00:02:08,517 --> 00:02:11,815
Gentlemen, I've got
Amy up and running.

46
00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:12,949
Shall we get to work?

47
00:02:12,951 --> 00:02:15,615
Uh, before we do,
what are you wearing,

48
00:02:15,617 --> 00:02:18,448
oh, friend who
we pretend is normal?

49
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:21,149
These are hydration backpacks.

50
00:02:21,151 --> 00:02:23,549
Eh, for efficiency,
whenever I'm thirsty,

51
00:02:23,551 --> 00:02:25,016
I have access to water.

52
00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:27,882
Eh, when I'm hungry,
I have lentil soup.

53
00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,649
It's getting harder to pretend.

54
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,749
Anyway, Sheldon, we're
at a decision point

55
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,615
to run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler

56
00:02:35,617 --> 00:02:37,283
or through the
vacuum filter.

57
00:02:37,285 --> 00:02:39,183
Run down the pros and cons
of each for me.

58
00:02:39,185 --> 00:02:41,283
Well, if we run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler,

59
00:02:41,285 --> 00:02:42,249
it'll be cooled immediately

60
00:02:42,251 --> 00:02:43,882
before it reacts
with the conduction.

61
00:02:48,118 --> 00:02:51,682
Oh, sorry, uh, carrot chunk.

62
00:02:52,817 --> 00:02:55,515
You can just feel
the time being saved.

63
00:02:57,484 --> 00:03:00,782
Ah, I'm back, you got me
for eight minutes.

64
00:03:00,784 --> 00:03:01,815
Sheldon,
this is silly.

65
00:03:01,817 --> 00:03:03,382
You can't expect us
to do quality work

66
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,183
with you popping
in and out like this.

67
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,815
The coefficient isn't lambda,
it's lambda sub one.

68
00:03:07,817 --> 00:03:08,849
And over here,

69
00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:10,249
you should consider
the possibility

70
00:03:10,251 --> 00:03:13,016
that the brain itself is in
two different quantum states.

71
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,882
And lastly, do you have
any little soup crackers?

72
00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:19,283
The rate of spinning for
the central axis centrifuge

73
00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:21,582
has to be four
revolutions per second.

74
00:03:21,584 --> 00:03:24,016
It can't be four revolutions,
it's got to be seven.

75
00:03:24,018 --> 00:03:24,882
Seven?

76
00:03:24,884 --> 00:03:26,382
Look at the board,
it's four.

77
00:03:26,384 --> 00:03:27,415
Oh, my God, it's seven!

78
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,482
Four!
Seven!

79
00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:29,782
It's five and a half.

80
00:03:30,684 --> 00:03:32,582
Son of a bitch,
it's five and a half.

81
00:03:33,717 --> 00:03:36,249
B.R.B., that's short
for "Be right back."

82
00:03:36,251 --> 00:03:38,249
I'm saving so much time!

83
00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:41,849
The two signals meet up
in the corpus callosum

84
00:03:41,851 --> 00:03:44,482
and T equals zero.

85
00:03:44,484 --> 00:03:47,882
And I know a boy who just
earned a slurp of soup.

86
00:03:47,884 --> 00:03:49,448
Incredible.

87
00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:52,515
Sheldon, I didn't expect that
you could work on both projects,

88
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:54,815
but I, I was wrong.

89
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,549
You know, I felt the same way
about the spork.

90
00:03:56,551 --> 00:03:58,849
Uh, solids and liquids
handled by one utensil?

91
00:03:58,851 --> 00:04:00,448
That'll never work.

92
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:01,949
works.

93
00:04:03,151 --> 00:04:04,515
I got to admit,

94
00:04:04,517 --> 00:04:06,448
we didn't think you'd be able
to do two things at once.

95
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:09,382
Yeah, I felt the same way
about the platypus.

96
00:04:09,384 --> 00:04:10,815
You know,
bird and mammal

97
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,348
in the same creature? No way.

98
00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:15,315
And spoiler: way.

99
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,315
Hey.
Hey.

100
00:04:19,317 --> 00:04:22,348
Oh, thanks again for letting
me use your laptop last night.

101
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,649
No problem.

102
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:25,282
Was just doing my taxes.

103
00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:26,482
Okay.

104
00:04:26,484 --> 00:04:27,916
Actually, if
I could...

105
00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:29,382
if I could just
check one more...

106
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:30,549
Already cleared
the browser history.

107
00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:32,249
You're a good woman.

108
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:34,982
What you working on?

109
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,782
Trying to catch up on office
e-mails before I go back.

110
00:04:37,784 --> 00:04:41,183
Oh, that's right,
maternity leave's almost over.

111
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,482
Ah, you excited?

112
00:04:42,484 --> 00:04:45,882
Yeah, I mean, I'll miss Halley,

113
00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:48,049
but it'll be nice
to get out of the house,

114
00:04:48,051 --> 00:04:49,982
be intellectually
stimulated.

115
00:04:49,984 --> 00:04:54,682
Go out to lunch instead of,
you know, be lunch.

116
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:57,016
That's great, good for you.

117
00:04:57,018 --> 00:05:01,549
Yeah, I mean, with you and my
parents, she's gonna be fine.

118
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,815
Ah, of course
she is.

119
00:05:02,817 --> 00:05:04,448
And that day care is great.

120
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,082
It is. I went to check it out,

121
00:05:06,084 --> 00:05:08,982
and they are very cautious about
letting strange men with no kids

122
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:11,682
peek in the windows.

123
00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:16,815
Plus, I, I think I'm setting
a good example for Halley,

124
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,549
to show her that
women can be mothers

125
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:21,183
and still have
satisfying careers.

126
00:05:21,185 --> 00:05:24,082
Sure, she won't know where I
went or if I'm ever coming back.

127
00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:26,183
That'll just make the ten
minutes between when I get home

128
00:05:26,185 --> 00:05:29,049
and her
bedtime even more special.

129
00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:33,348
Uh, other than burp you
or give you a bottle,

130
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:35,682
I don't know
what to do right now.

131
00:05:35,684 --> 00:05:39,582
It's okay, I'm just being
emotional about this.

132
00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:41,549
Can you not tell Howard?

133
00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:44,016
Well, don't you think
it'd be healthier

134
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:46,016
if you told him what's
going on with you?

135
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:47,315
Don't you think
it'd be healthier

136
00:05:47,317 --> 00:05:50,315
if you had your own apartment,
grown man?

137
00:05:51,817 --> 00:05:54,215
Your secret is safe with me.

138
00:05:57,784 --> 00:06:00,615
Hey, since when do you do
laundry on a Thursday?

139
00:06:00,617 --> 00:06:03,116
Oh, I had an
accident at work,

140
00:06:03,118 --> 00:06:06,448
I slipped and fell
on my soup sack.

141
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,348
You know, there was a time I
would say "What's a soup sack?"

142
00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:13,515
But... I'm glad we're past that.

143
00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,882
You know, there was a time
I would say "God bless you,"

144
00:06:18,884 --> 00:06:21,415
and then you would say "If you
must invoke an imaginary deity,

145
00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:22,549
how about Thor?"

146
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:24,382
And I would say,

147
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,049
"How do you know
I didn't mean Thor?"

148
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,315
And then you would say "Touché,"

149
00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:28,515
and that there ends the tale

150
00:06:28,517 --> 00:06:31,315
of why I no longer say
"God bless you."

151
00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:34,649
Well, we have had some fun,
haven't we?

152
00:06:34,651 --> 00:06:35,849
Oh, yeah.

153
00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:38,549
So, Leonard tells me
you've had a busy day.

154
00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:39,949
Hmm? Oh, I did.

155
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:41,182
It hasn't stopped.

156
00:06:41,184 --> 00:06:43,515
I figured out a solution
for our navigation system

157
00:06:43,517 --> 00:06:46,782
while I was pre-soaking lentils
out of my pants.

158
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:49,248
Are you getting sick?

159
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,448
Of course not.

160
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:51,649
I'm too busy to be sick.

161
00:06:51,651 --> 00:06:52,982
Well, you're
pretty delicate.

162
00:06:52,984 --> 00:06:54,882
Maybe you shouldn't be
pushing yourself so hard.

163
00:06:54,884 --> 00:06:56,482
I'm fine.
All right.

164
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,382
Well, we'll just pretend
that you didn't catch a cold

165
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,348
watching Frozen.
I...

166
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:01,815
That didn't happen.

167
00:07:01,817 --> 00:07:03,515
You also got a nosebleed
watching Up.

168
00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:04,849
Just do your laundry!

169
00:07:08,984 --> 00:07:10,749
Stuart, you didn't
have to make dinner.

170
00:07:10,751 --> 00:07:13,782
Yeah, well, I felt bad about
upsetting you this morning.

171
00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:17,849
And to be honest, I'm not the
biggest fan of your meatloaf.

172
00:07:19,684 --> 00:07:21,049
Hey, what's for dinner?

173
00:07:21,051 --> 00:07:22,049
Meatloaf.

174
00:07:22,051 --> 00:07:23,348
Oh, cool.

175
00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:24,482
Stuart made it.

176
00:07:24,484 --> 00:07:26,348
Oh, cool.

177
00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,215
Hey, I was thinking

178
00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:31,715
maybe we take Halley
to the zoo this weekend,

179
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:33,182
get in a little
family time

180
00:07:33,184 --> 00:07:34,682
before you go
back to work.

181
00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:36,016
Sounds great.

182
00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:37,215
Speaking of which,

183
00:07:37,217 --> 00:07:38,916
for day care,
it'll be easy for me

184
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,815
to drop her off, unless
you want to do it.

185
00:07:41,817 --> 00:07:43,849
Hmm, guess it should be me.

186
00:07:43,851 --> 00:07:44,982
I can't do it;

187
00:07:44,984 --> 00:07:48,849
they have a picture of me
on file now.

188
00:07:53,717 --> 00:07:54,715
You okay?

189
00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:56,282
Of course, why?

190
00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:58,649
Well, I don't know,
you seem a little upset.

191
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:00,949
No, I'm fine.
You sure?

192
00:08:00,951 --> 00:08:02,049
Why don't you
think she's fine?

193
00:08:02,051 --> 00:08:04,282
She sounds fine,
she looks fine.

194
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,049
If I saw her on the street I'd
say, "Damn, that girl's fine!"

195
00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:13,882
Sheldon, you're sick,
go back to bed.

196
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,282
I am fine.

197
00:08:16,284 --> 00:08:17,949
Here, eat your toast.

198
00:08:22,918 --> 00:08:24,615
Sorry.

199
00:08:25,651 --> 00:08:27,682
It's okay,
now I don't need butter.

200
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:32,849
Well, perhaps I am
a little under the weather.

201
00:08:32,851 --> 00:08:35,215
It's nothing a little
cold medicine and tea can't fix.

202
00:08:35,217 --> 00:08:36,815
You need sleep.

203
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,916
What I need is
to get to work.

204
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,916
Well, I don't want
your germs around me.

205
00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:43,515
What? You hold my hand,
you kiss my mouth,

206
00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:46,248
but you draw the line
at 102 fever?

207
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:48,682
What happened to our love?

208
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,115
Sheldon, are you okay?

209
00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,382
What's going on?

210
00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:01,815
How'd I get here?

211
00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:05,081
I don't know, we came home
from work and we found you.

212
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:07,849
Home from work?

213
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:08,949
What time is it?

214
00:09:08,951 --> 00:09:09,916
It's 9:00.

215
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:11,682
9:00?

216
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,348
W-What happened
to 8:00 and 7:00

217
00:09:13,350 --> 00:09:15,182
and all the other o'clocks?

218
00:09:15,184 --> 00:09:17,382
Wait, you don't remember?

219
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:20,715
Well, I remember waking up
in the morning,

220
00:09:20,717 --> 00:09:23,916
Amy rubbing Vicks on my chest.

221
00:09:23,918 --> 00:09:27,348
And her hands were like
two frozen chunks of tundra.

222
00:09:29,217 --> 00:09:32,448
I took some cold medicine to...

223
00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,215
I took cold medicine.

224
00:09:35,317 --> 00:09:36,515
You did seem a little loopy

225
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:37,849
when you showed up at the lab.

226
00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:39,749
At... at the lab?

227
00:09:41,317 --> 00:09:43,882
Why am I naked
from the waist down?

228
00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:47,948
I don't know
where your pants are,

229
00:09:47,950 --> 00:09:50,415
but we did find your underwear
in a pot on the stove.

230
00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:03,502
My pants are missing,
I don't remember anything.

231
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:07,235
Penny, this is your youth.
What do I do?

232
00:10:07,237 --> 00:10:09,535
I don't know,

233
00:10:09,537 --> 00:10:12,168
check your body for tattoos?

234
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,201
Leonard,
would you be a lamb...

235
00:10:15,203 --> 00:10:16,735
She's kidding!

236
00:10:18,936 --> 00:10:22,035
Wait, wait. Where's my bag?
My phone and my wallet

237
00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:23,468
are in my bag.
It's right here.

238
00:10:27,303 --> 00:10:30,135
Where's my notebook?
My notebook's gone. Oh, no.

239
00:10:30,137 --> 00:10:32,101
Okay, it's just a notebook,
what's the big deal?

240
00:10:32,103 --> 00:10:33,535
What's the big deal?

241
00:10:33,537 --> 00:10:34,735
It's full of
classified information

242
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:36,068
about the air force project!

243
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,568
How could you lose that?

244
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:40,168
It's okay,
I'm sure we'll find it.

245
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,001
Look, it's got to be
around here somewhere.

246
00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:44,669
Maybe it's wherever
your pants are.

247
00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:49,435
Nope, pants in the microwave,
no notebook.

248
00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:53,802
Hey.

249
00:10:53,804 --> 00:10:55,669
Ah, hello.

250
00:10:55,671 --> 00:10:57,735
Look, something's
going on with Bernadette.

251
00:10:57,737 --> 00:10:58,901
She say anything to you?

252
00:10:58,903 --> 00:11:01,235
Well, nope,
not a word.

253
00:11:01,237 --> 00:11:02,535
Come on, be honest.

254
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,635
Did you tell her
I tried her breast pump?

255
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:14,735
No, but I did mention it
to my therapist.

256
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:20,335
Well, I know she's mad
at me about something.

257
00:11:20,337 --> 00:11:22,769
Well, what have you done
that would upset her?

258
00:11:22,771 --> 00:11:26,368
Oh, gosh,
how much time do you have?

259
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,435
Well, why don't you just
start with the worst thing?

260
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:32,635
Hmm, let's see. Mm.

261
00:11:32,637 --> 00:11:35,135
Okay, here we go: six years ago,

262
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:41,068
I got a call that Bernie's
great-aunt, Trixie, died.

263
00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:42,268
And?

264
00:11:42,270 --> 00:11:46,502
And I forgot
to give her the message.

265
00:11:46,504 --> 00:11:48,968
That's terrible.

266
00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:50,802
The terrible part is,
ever since then,

267
00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:52,468
I've been
sending Bernie

268
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:55,335
Christmas cards from Trixie.

269
00:11:55,337 --> 00:11:58,068
Oh...

270
00:11:58,070 --> 00:11:59,268
Howard!

271
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:01,101
Let me finish... and one card
had five dollars in it

272
00:12:01,103 --> 00:12:02,435
I took from Bernie's purse.

273
00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:07,934
The notebook isn't
in the bathroom.

274
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,402
I can't find it,
either.

275
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:10,901
How can he not remember a day?

276
00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:13,901
Well, people who are abducted
by aliens lose time.

277
00:12:13,903 --> 00:12:16,868
I mean, maybe it happens
to the aliens, too.

278
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,101
Well, it's not
across the hall.

279
00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:24,435
That's it. I'm in breach
of my security clearance.

280
00:12:24,437 --> 00:12:25,868
I'm going to prison.

281
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,402
And you know what happens
to people like me in prison.

282
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:33,934
I'll be forced to be
some large man's tutor.

283
00:12:35,903 --> 00:12:38,335
You're not going to prison.

284
00:12:38,337 --> 00:12:40,402
But, boy, it is funny
to think about.

285
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:44,368
You really can't remember
anything?

286
00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:45,368
I'm trying.

287
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,968
Wait a minute.
Hey, let me see your phone.

288
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,468
Why?

289
00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:50,602
Well, it's...
it's possible

290
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,402
it was tracking
everywhere you went.

291
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:53,801
Phones can do that?

292
00:12:53,803 --> 00:12:56,035
Yeah, it depends
on the privacy settings.

293
00:12:56,037 --> 00:12:57,135
Oh, tha... that's so cool.

294
00:12:57,137 --> 00:13:01,168
How do you...
how do you turn that thing off?

295
00:13:01,170 --> 00:13:02,669
Relax.

296
00:13:02,671 --> 00:13:05,435
I know when you "go for a run,"
you stop for a donut.

297
00:13:05,437 --> 00:13:08,402
I don't even run there, I drive.

298
00:13:11,404 --> 00:13:13,669
Hang on, I can see
every place you went.

299
00:13:13,671 --> 00:13:14,669
What does it say?

300
00:13:14,671 --> 00:13:17,368
Uh, you were in the building,

301
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:19,168
you were
at the university,

302
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:21,801
then you were somewhere
on Colorado Boulevard.

303
00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:23,734
Where?

304
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:26,001
Wait, hang on.

305
00:13:26,003 --> 00:13:27,901
Did you go to a cowboy bar?

306
00:13:27,903 --> 00:13:30,035
I... no!

307
00:13:30,037 --> 00:13:32,568
That is preposterous.

308
00:13:34,237 --> 00:13:36,502
Ow!

309
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,435
Maybe.

310
00:13:46,037 --> 00:13:48,502
Hey, how's it going?

311
00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:49,669
Fine.

312
00:13:49,671 --> 00:13:52,868
Good. Love you.

313
00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:54,602
Love you, too.
Love you more.

314
00:13:54,604 --> 00:13:58,001
Okay, you won.
Can I finish what I'm doing?

315
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:01,368
Sure, sorry.

316
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:06,934
Something on your mind?

317
00:14:06,936 --> 00:14:08,734
No, no, nothing.

318
00:14:08,736 --> 00:14:11,268
Okay, well,
maybe I'm just feeling like

319
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:13,201
something's bothering you.

320
00:14:13,203 --> 00:14:14,901
Nope, all good.

321
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:19,335
Prove it, make love to me
right now on the kitchen floor.

322
00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:21,868
No, what is wrong with you?

323
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:23,268
Aha, you are upset.

324
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:28,068
I don't know a lot about women,
but I know I upset them.

325
00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:31,001
Howard, I'm sorry
if I'm being weird,

326
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,934
but it has nothing
to do with you.

327
00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:34,035
It doesn't?

328
00:14:34,037 --> 00:14:36,335
No.

329
00:14:36,337 --> 00:14:38,535
I didn't want
to tell you, but...

330
00:14:38,537 --> 00:14:41,834
I'm having a really tough time
about going back to work.

331
00:14:41,836 --> 00:14:44,535
Oh. Okay, well, I get that.

332
00:14:44,537 --> 00:14:47,135
It was hard for me
when I went back.

333
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,502
It was?
Of course.

334
00:14:48,504 --> 00:14:50,768
I missed you
and the baby

335
00:14:50,770 --> 00:14:54,301
and being able to watch Ellen
every day.

336
00:14:54,303 --> 00:14:57,901
I just don't know
what the right thing to do is.

337
00:14:57,903 --> 00:15:00,668
If I go back to work,
I'm abandoning Halley.

338
00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,068
If I don't go,

339
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:04,135
I'm giving up
everything I worked for.

340
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,502
It's like
there's no right choice.

341
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:09,701
Look, I don't know what
the best decision is, either.

342
00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:14,068
But whatever we choose,
if we're not happy,

343
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,235
we can undo it.

344
00:15:16,237 --> 00:15:17,668
I guess.

345
00:15:17,670 --> 00:15:19,435
And the best part is:
Halley won't remember a thing.

346
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,734
Babies are cute,
but they're dumb.

347
00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:24,734
I mean,

348
00:15:24,736 --> 00:15:26,135
I-I go like this,

349
00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:28,295
she thinks I'm gone. Then
magically I'm back. I mean...

350
00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:32,701
Honestly,
why are we saving for college?

351
00:15:34,504 --> 00:15:37,368
I'm not crazy about
you calling our baby dumb.

352
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,001
Well, she gets it from me.

353
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,168
Speaking of which,

354
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:44,035
I have some news
about your Aunt Trixie.

355
00:15:51,303 --> 00:15:54,268
Does this place
look familiar?

356
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,268
It's hard to say.

357
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:57,535
Hey, Sheldon's back!

358
00:15:57,537 --> 00:15:58,734
Sheldon!

359
00:16:00,203 --> 00:16:02,601
It's getting clearer.

360
00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:06,068
You gonna buy another round
for the house?

361
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:08,701
Uh, n-no, thank you.

362
00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:12,502
We now know why MasterCard
sent me a fraud alert.

363
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,801
Ask him.

364
00:16:14,803 --> 00:16:16,634
Um, yes.

365
00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:18,101
Howdy, partner.

366
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:21,035
Do you happen to recollect
if I left a notebook

367
00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:22,701
in these here parts?

368
00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:24,435
These here parts?

369
00:16:24,437 --> 00:16:27,535
It's called fitting in.
By the way, good luck.

370
00:16:27,537 --> 00:16:30,201
Here you go.
Oh.

371
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:31,868
Thank goodness!

372
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:34,402
One top secret
quantum guidance system.

373
00:16:34,404 --> 00:16:37,567
You understood
the math?

374
00:16:37,569 --> 00:16:39,901
No, but Sheldon told me
all about it.

375
00:16:39,903 --> 00:16:41,435
He told everybody.

376
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,567
That's just great.

377
00:16:44,569 --> 00:16:45,734
Oh, don't worry,

378
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:48,768
he made us pinky swear
we'd keep it a secret.

379
00:16:50,370 --> 00:16:52,235
I swear...

380
00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:54,001
I swear...

381
00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:55,601
not to tell anyone...

382
00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:57,668
not to tell anyone...

383
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:00,301
the top secret
military information

384
00:17:00,303 --> 00:17:01,567
I'm about to tell you.

385
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:04,368
The top secret
military information

386
00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:06,235
I'm about to tell you.

387
00:17:06,237 --> 00:17:09,035
We really need
to skedaddle.

388
00:17:09,037 --> 00:17:10,068
Thank you.
Bye.

389
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,801
See you.

390
00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:17,567
Should probably erase this.

391
00:17:25,817 --> 00:17:28,316
Thank you for
making me tea.

392
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:30,216
You're welcome.
How is it?

393
00:17:33,951 --> 00:17:37,849
Yummy. And warm
on my back.

394
00:17:37,851 --> 00:17:41,149
Do you need
anything else?

395
00:17:41,151 --> 00:17:43,582
You know exactly
what I need.

396
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:44,815
Fine.

397
00:18:02,318 --> 00:18:05,615
That's nice.

398
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:07,649
Now in German.

399
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,216
Great.

400
00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:26,615
Now Mandarin.

401
00:18:41,151 --> 00:18:42,548
Now Navajo.

402
00:18:43,903 --> 00:18:50,696
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man