1 00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:08,968 Howie, slow down. 2 00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:12,221 I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, 3 00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:13,347 and I've only got two more minutes. 4 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,061 What surgery are you having? 5 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:21,731 I'm stress eating. 6 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,900 My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow. 7 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,403 And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child? 8 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:29,947 Oh, my goodness! 9 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,326 If it's "vasectomy gone wrong" videos, he's seen them all. 10 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:34,744 Including the one of the guy 11 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,121 who's sitting on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not. 12 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,082 And I'm done. 13 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,879 They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again. 14 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,672 I thought he passed away. 15 00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:48,883 He did. He was cremated and his remains were put 16 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,468 in a baking soda volcano. 17 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,514 Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon. 18 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,433 Mm, me too. I grew up watching his show. 19 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,185 He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. 20 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,354 Oh, I thought you did it just to get girls. 21 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,273 Joke's on you. It worked. 22 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,277 Have they found anyone to replace him? 23 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,363 No, not yet. And it won't be easy. 24 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:13,032 Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist. 25 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,618 Hmm, you know who'd make a great Professor Proton? 26 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,245 Meryl Streep. 27 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,498 She's not a scientist. 28 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:25,002 Uh, then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone. 29 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,714 It would be nice if they cast a woman. 30 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,050 Oh, you've already got Dr. Who and the Ghostbusters. 31 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,343 Leave us something. 32 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,845 Who do you think it should be? 33 00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:38,182 Um, it should be a scientist I respect, you know. 34 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:42,311 Someone with a pleasing voice and symmetrical facial features. 35 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,063 Is he talking about himself? 36 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,107 If he's talking, he's talking about himself. 37 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,903 I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child, 38 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,155 and I feel that I owe it to him 39 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,950 to try and touch as many children as possible. 40 00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,332 You should put that on your audition tape. 41 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,031 You doing okay? 42 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,782 No, I'm very nervous. 43 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,004 Where are you going? 44 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,673 - Gift shop. - There is no gift shop. Sit down. 45 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,427 This was your idea. 46 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,971 So was having sex. And look where that got us. 47 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,392 This isn't a big deal. Stop whining. 48 00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:05,853 When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me. 49 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:08,856 Howard Wolowitz. 50 00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:13,819 - Want me to go with you? - No. 51 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,863 - I'll be fine. - Yeah, we got this. 52 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,198 Sit down. 53 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,287 Wish me luck. 54 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,248 Other way, buster. 55 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,839 Okay, you ready? 56 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,634 Yeah, almost. I'm working on my facial expressions. 57 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,677 See, I've got "interested." 58 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,012 Hmm. 59 00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,515 I've got "very interested." Hmm. 60 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,184 And, "enraged." 61 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,230 Why would you be enraged? 62 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,566 Hmm, better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. 63 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,277 Okay. 64 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,323 And rolling. 65 00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:02,785 Hello, I am theoretical physicist Doctor Sheldon Cooper, 66 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,079 auditioning for the role of Professor Proton. 67 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,456 Now, excuse me while I get into character. 68 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,586 Hello, I'm Professor Proton. 69 00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:17,758 And today, boys and girls, we're going to have fun with science. 70 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:20,469 Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron 71 00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:21,637 using household items? 72 00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:23,889 It's true. All you'll need is a pencil, 73 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,517 some paper, dry ice, rubbing alcohol 74 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,937 and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire. 75 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,691 And remember, don't put it in your mouth. 76 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:37,278 Or, instead of becoming a scientist, you'll become wildly radioactive. 77 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,781 Hang on. I have a question. 78 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,451 Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening? 79 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,579 Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. 80 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,582 Oh, look, hey! I did need "enraged." 81 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,003 Ow, ow, ow. 82 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,755 Really hurts, huh? 83 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,050 No, he's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low?" 84 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,264 It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, and you'll be fine. 85 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,141 You know nothing about Jewish people. 86 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,106 Let me go check on her. 87 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,860 Okay, uh, this is a bit awkward. 88 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,572 It says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling. 89 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,076 You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead. 90 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,831 So you see, boys and girls, 91 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,416 H, or "helicity," 92 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294 is the natural variable to use relativistically, 93 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,463 and is defined as "S dot P," 94 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:39,381 divided by the magnitude of P. 95 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,884 So the next time someone on the playground tells you, 96 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,594 you can only use integral values 97 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,055 for the matrix that determines the spin of the antiproton, 98 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,682 you stop being friends with that kid, 'cause he's going nowhere. 99 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,606 Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 100 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:58,609 "Zero one zero zero zero zero one zero 101 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,070 "zero one one one one zero zero one 102 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,864 "zero one one zero zero one zero one. 103 00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,617 "That's 'bye' in ASCII binary, 104 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,786 or 'good-binary. "' 105 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:18,254 So, 106 00:06:18,963 --> 00:06:20,047 what do you think? 107 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,800 Well, I already told him that I loved it, 108 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:26,845 but if you found it confusing, or dangerous or, 109 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,640 I don't know, three to four times too long, 110 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,351 now's the time to share. 111 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,437 I... 112 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,898 I don't know what to say. Leonard, do you know what to say? 113 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,860 Sheldon, I thought it, 114 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,280 it, uh, it looked like you were having so much fun. 115 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:48,117 Hey, that's what you used to tell me 116 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,910 to say to Penny after one of her terrible plays. 117 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,287 - Hey! - Hey! 118 00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:55,124 Well, what was wrong with it? 119 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,042 You know, did you find it 120 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,877 borderline psychotic? 121 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,007 I mean, I liked that about it, 122 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,217 but you guys discuss. 123 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:10,055 Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd watch Professor Proton? 124 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:13,517 - Of course. - Well, did he ever make you 125 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,979 hate science and the people who do it? 126 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,273 What are you saying? 127 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,816 I just think it would be better 128 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,819 if your contempt for children 129 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,362 wasn't so much in the foreground. 130 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,865 You want me to lie? 131 00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:30,826 Look, it's not lying, it's acting. 132 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,496 Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, but Professor Proton loves them. 133 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:36,540 Interesting. 134 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,585 You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way. 135 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:43,422 It's, it's similar to how, you know, I'm afraid of dogs 136 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:46,675 but my DnD character likes dogs. You know? 137 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,053 But he's allergic, so he can't be around them. 138 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,139 Why don't we have a dog? 139 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,102 Hey, you can always reshoot it. 140 00:07:57,353 --> 00:07:58,854 Hmm, I suppose. 141 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,397 And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips 142 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,024 from someone who's acted professionally. 143 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,028 Oh, Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out. 144 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,573 I don't know what to say. 145 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,119 Hey, Sheldon, what's up? 146 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,788 I need an acting coach. 147 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:16,997 Oh. 148 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,832 Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number? 149 00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:21,377 No. 150 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:22,753 Fine. I guess you can do it. 151 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,009 Berniel 152 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,097 Where did you get a bell? 153 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,515 App store. 154 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,812 Fun, let me see. 155 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,023 When you catch me, you can have it back. 156 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,653 You wanna lie down, watch a movie? 157 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:50,155 I can't. I got my 16-week check-up to get to 158 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,116 and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner. 159 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,367 I'll take Halley with me. 160 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:55,661 You sure you're not overdoing it? 161 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,745 No, it's fine. 162 00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:58,080 Great, then maybe instead of Chinese, 163 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,707 fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks? 164 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:03,669 Kung Pao chicken, please. 165 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,383 - Oh, boy. - What? 166 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,760 They cast the new Professor Proton. 167 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,429 - Is it Sheldon? - Not exactly. 168 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,597 Wheaton! 169 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,765 It's Wil Wheaton. 170 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,568 Hi. 171 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,986 Hey. 172 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,237 How was the doctor? 173 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,239 Good, but I have some news. 174 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,908 Don't say twins, don't say twins. 175 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,119 It's not twins. 176 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,788 Only because I would have loved them both. 177 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,125 The doctor said I was overdoing it, 178 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,335 so, she put me on bed rest just to be safe. 179 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:46,879 Oh, no. 180 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,308 It may not look like it, but I'm running to you. 181 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,489 Hello, Arthur. 182 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,950 What part of "rest in peace" 183 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,203 don't you understand? 184 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,333 I suppose you're here because you heard the news. 185 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,211 Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination. 186 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,087 I don't hear news. 187 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,050 You're a grumpy figment. 188 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,888 Look. They're remaking your show 189 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:41,183 and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton. 190 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,852 And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist. 191 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,231 No, the worst part is 192 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:48,941 I'm sitting on a moist log. 193 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,240 We have to stop this and protect your legacy. 194 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,699 What legacy? 195 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:02,037 My, last two seasons, I was on Sunday morning at 5:30. 196 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,833 We were beat by Davey and Goliath. 197 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,545 I can't believe you don't care. 198 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:11,547 Believe it. 199 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,968 Well, I care a lot. 200 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,221 And Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me. 201 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,517 I think that's true of most people. 202 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,649 Hi, guys. 203 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:32,234 Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing. 204 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:33,902 - We're okay. - Yeah, 205 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,404 hanging out in bed with my wife, 206 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:38,657 thawing out some frozen peas in my pants, living the dream. 207 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,911 Oh, I'll get her. 208 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,371 I thought Raj was helping you out. 209 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706 No, he had to work. 210 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:49,877 Plus, he has a quota for the amount of Indian servant jokes he can tolerate. 211 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,086 Apparently, I filled it. 212 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,589 Well, hey, I can get the baby. 213 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,173 No, Howie's got it. 214 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,383 He's fine. Right, Howie? 215 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,509 Never better. 216 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,679 Don't be silly. I'll take the rest of the day off 217 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,805 and watch Halley for you. 218 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,182 Or we can call Stuart. 219 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:07,269 I'm sure he could close up the store, hop on a bus and be here in no time. 220 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:08,937 He does love the bus. 221 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,443 Okay, hang on. You guys don't trust me to take care of your baby? 222 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,695 - No. - No. 223 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,363 - No. - No. 224 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,032 So, I guess, 225 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,326 no. 226 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,620 Wow. 227 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,580 It's not that we don't trust you, it's just, 228 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,874 you don't seem like much of a baby person. 229 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,127 Hey! Hey, hey, I can watch your stupid baby, okay? 230 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,340 If she cries, I will pick her up. 231 00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:38,258 If she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle. 232 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,135 And if she poops, I'll light some incense. 233 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,138 It would be a big help. 234 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:44,890 Okay, thank you. 235 00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:47,434 Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. 236 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,602 You know, back in Nebraska, 237 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,396 I raised all our baby pigs right until the day they were slaughtered. 238 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:55,400 So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, she's fine. 239 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,447 Would you ever get a vasectomy? 240 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,242 Uh, in case you haven't noticed, Indians aren't too big on birth control. 241 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,371 There's probably, like, a million more of us 242 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,580 since we started this conversation. 243 00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,294 - You okay? - No. 244 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:18,924 No. All these comments online about Wil, they're nothing but supportive and kind. 245 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,718 Where's the mean, snarky Internet 246 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,220 that shows up every time I get a haircut? 247 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:26,682 You know that's us, right? 248 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,980 Well, luckily, I got the number of the company 249 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,106 who's trying to reboot the show, 250 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,650 so I need you all to call and register your displeasure. 251 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,235 Sheldon, no one's gonna do that. 252 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:41,154 Not true. I know of three calls they've received already. 253 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,739 A southern gentleman, 254 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,075 um, a Cockney chimney sweep, 255 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,911 and Mr. T. Hm. 256 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,957 Who, spoiler alert, pities the fool who tries to reboot that show. 257 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,420 What about "tiresome lunatic with a bad haircut"? Has he called yet? 258 00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:58,922 Come on! 259 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:02,134 How many times have we banded together to try to save a show that we loved? 260 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,803 Let's shake things up and try to kill one. 261 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,264 Isn't the important thing 262 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,558 that there's a show to get kids excited about science? 263 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,935 Who cares about kids and what they like? 264 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:16,440 This is about me and something I liked when I was a kid. 265 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,818 What if the reboot is great? 266 00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,528 That's even worse. 267 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,406 If-if I like it, I'll feel like I'm being disloyal to Arthur. 268 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,658 He was a mentor and a friend, 269 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:30,287 and I won't toss him aside for some Hollywood pretty boy like Wil Wheaton. 270 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:33,457 It's hard to argue with him. 271 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,875 Because he makes no sense? Yeah. 272 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,546 It's actually kind of nice, 273 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,924 you and me getting to spend a couple days in bed together. 274 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,470 Yeah. Pretty soon, we're gonna have two crying babies in the house. 275 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,598 I'm glad my balls hurt. It's all their fault. 276 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,645 Well, let's just enjoy this quiet time while we still got it. 277 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,105 Yeah. 278 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,859 Yeah, it is really quiet. 279 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,111 You think Penny's doing okay? 280 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,406 Penny? Everything all right? 281 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,703 Hey, all good. Dipped her pacifier in a little bourbon, 282 00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:12,788 she conked right out. 283 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:16,958 I hope you're joking. 284 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,461 Of course, I'm joking. I don't share my bourbon. 285 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:23,799 She's joking. 286 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,550 Definitely. 287 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,844 Probably. 288 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,059 Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. 289 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,436 This is Sheldon, by the way. 290 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,649 Hi, Sheldon. 291 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,151 Here I found this pizza flyer in your fence. 292 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,488 - Thank you. - Okay, now you owe me a favor. 293 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,534 Turn down the role of Professor Proton. 294 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,285 I don't think so. 295 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,622 You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist. 296 00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,249 Well, I was never on a starship, 297 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,167 but pretending I was bought me this house. 298 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,754 And if I'd pretended a little longer, it would have a swimming pool. 299 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,924 Yeah, some things shouldn't be rebooted. 300 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,009 Some things were perfect the way they were. 301 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,011 Uh, like the walled city of York? 302 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,888 It was a delight. But New York? 303 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,601 Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy 304 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,353 to know that his show has outlived him? 305 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,064 I doubt it. He was kind of a mean old crank. 306 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,151 Sheldon, 307 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:27,445 I promise that I will work my hardest to make this show great, 308 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:30,073 so that a whole new generation of kids will grow up 309 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,491 and they will be able to say that 310 00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:34,494 Professor Proton was the reason they got into science. 311 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,164 Wow. 312 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,457 That was very persuasive. 313 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,042 Thanks. 314 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,336 But I won't be seduced by your acting skills 315 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,921 nor your movie star charisma. 316 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,925 There's only one Professor Proton 317 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,427 and he had neither of those things. 318 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,805 I'll give you one more chance to bow out. 319 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,057 Or what? 320 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,769 When we first met, we were enemies. 321 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:03,023 But we worked through that and we became friends. 322 00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,192 Do you really wanna go back? 323 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,320 Honestly, it doesn't feel very different. 324 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,825 I'm not leaving. 325 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,869 All right, I'm gonna sic my dog on you. 326 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,663 You don't have a dog. 327 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,332 Yes, I do. 328 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,668 Oh, I can't tell if you're lying. You're such a good actor. 329 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,008 Hey, how you doing? 330 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,509 What are you doing here? 331 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,096 Oh, I just came by, you know, to see if you need any help. 332 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,433 Howard and Bernadette asked you to check up on me. 333 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,894 That is not entirely true. 334 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,146 So did Leonard and everybody. 335 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,942 How irresponsible do you all think I am? 336 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,152 We don't think you're irresponsible. 337 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:50,320 We think you're 338 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,364 fun-loving. 339 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,533 That is just a nice word for irresponsible. 340 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,870 Hmm, you might be more on the ball than we thought. 341 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,875 I'm getting a little hungry. 342 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,586 - Want me to get it this time? - Oh, that'd be great. 343 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,300 This is fun. 344 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,512 And now you also get to see an annoyed blonde walk into the room. 345 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:18,682 What? 346 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,434 Can you get us a little snack? 347 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,561 Are you sure you don't want your spy to do it? 348 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,480 What are you talking about? 349 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,857 You really don't trust me? You had to have Amy stop by? 350 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,359 We trust you. 351 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,611 Yeah, you were a terrible waitress 352 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,321 and we still asked you to get us a snack. 353 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,494 Excuse me, while I go take care of your baby. 354 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,955 Then I'll bring you your snack and you can insult me some more. 355 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,500 I don't know about you, 356 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,711 but I am not eating whatever she brings us. 357 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:53,008 Hey, Halley! Oh, it's okay, Aunty Penny's here. 358 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,218 Shh. Let's get you changed. 359 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,429 Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, 360 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,931 but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is. 361 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,518 Now I feel bad. 362 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,645 Well, she never really liked me. 363 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,272 It's kind of nice she hates you now, too. 364 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,150 Oh, but I'm here for you, 365 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,985 and I would never let anything happen to you 366 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,238 because your Aunty Penny loves you so much. 367 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,489 Mama. 368 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,582 Was that her first word? 369 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,750 Mama. 370 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,296 No, no, baby, I'm not your mama. 371 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:33,965 Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now 372 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,842 so I can rub this in her face. 373 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,597 Do you hear that, suckers? She called me "Mama." 374 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,864 Hello, Arthur. 375 00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,908 You know, 376 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:04,704 we could, we could also meet in a deli. 377 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,251 I'm sorry to say that I failed you. 378 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,588 I tried to stop Wil Wheaton being Professor Proton, 379 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,714 but I couldn't. 380 00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:17,884 See, now, that's the kind of thing 381 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,720 you could tell a fella over a 382 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,640 pastrami sandwich. 383 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,313 Well, don't worry, 384 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,816 he's now on my enemies list forever. 385 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,484 He's totally cut off. 386 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,027 Interesting. 387 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,781 Can anyone sign up for that list?