1
00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:14,182
Howie? Howie, wake up.

2
00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:15,474
It's time.

3
00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:18,352
- Did your water break?
- No.

4
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,188
Are you feeling any contractions?

5
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,480
No.

6
00:00:22,315 --> 00:00:23,816
Wait. Well, where are you going?

7
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:24,984
To the hospital.

8
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:28,279
Today's my due date,
and this crap needs to end now.

9
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:33,701
Honey, babies don't
always come on their due date.

10
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,828
Halley was two weeks late.

11
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,457
But this baby's a boy.

12
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,667
They don't take as long to get ready.

13
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,253
What are you doing?

14
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:47,131
I'm making the situation better
with humor.

15
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:48,716
Are you?

16
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,803
Would you rather me
make it better with magic?

17
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:55,014
- Go back to sleep.
- Ta-da!

18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

19
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,317
You know, I hear
that sex can induce labor.

20
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,444
Anything for my family.

21
00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:39,100
I believe today
is Bernadette's due date.

22
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,351
Yeah.

23
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,602
How do you know that?

24
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,522
Easy. 40 weeks from the date
of her last period.

25
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,651
And why do you know that?

26
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:52,071
Well, excuse me for taking
an interest in people.

27
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,409
- So, any day now.
- Oh, I don't know.

28
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,493
We went to the doctor this morning,

29
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,453
and she said it could still
be another week or two.

30
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,289
How's Bernadette holding up?

31
00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:03,374
It's pretty rough.

32
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,334
She's having a hard time.

33
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,505
Why are you smiling?

34
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,549
I had sex twice last night.

35
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,926
That's not fair! She's on bed rest.

36
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,594
She can't run away.

37
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:17,805
It was her idea.

38
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,640
She read that it can start labor.

39
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,100
Mm, is that true?

40
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:24,395
Well, I would have googled it,
but I was busy taking my pants off.

41
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,317
Yeah, not to brag,
but Amy's last birthday

42
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,028
brought my coital tally up to four.

43
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,323
Whatever you're doing,
it's not bragging.

44
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,075
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

45
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,910
Hey, I was just talking about you.

46
00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:42,204
- Oh, should I ask?
- You should not.

47
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,708
I'm trying to get
our grant proposal together.

48
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,585
Any chance you've finished up
those mechanical drawings?

49
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:50,504
Sorry. I was gonna do it last night,
but I got kind of busy.

50
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,173
Yeah, you did.

51
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,718
What are they talking about?

52
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886
I'll give you a hint.

53
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,972
It's something
that we have done four times.

54
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:01,974
Watched La La Land?

55
00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:04,268
What? No. No.

56
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,645
I've not watched La La Land four times.

57
00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:08,606
If you find the soundtrack on my phone,

58
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,858
that's just 'cause
our iTunes accounts are linked.

59
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,278
Looks like I might have
a little more time

60
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,488
before the baby gets here,

61
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,448
so why don't we just stay late
and get it done?

62
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,241
Well, I don't want you
to leave Bernadette alone.

63
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,327
Oh, we can hang out
and keep her company.

64
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,579
- Yeah, absolutely.
- See, see. Look at my Netflix queue.

65
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,165
There's two documentaries
and the movie Friends with Benefits,

66
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,792
which I thought was a documentary

67
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,002
about employer health care plans.

68
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:34,799
Hey, Bernie, it's me.

69
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,592
I let myself in.

70
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,344
Hey.

71
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,388
What are you doing?

72
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,056
I thought you were supposed
to be on bed rest.

73
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,974
That's done, but I've been on stair rest

74
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,893
for the last 45 minutes.

75
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,145
- Here, let me help you.
- Yeah.

76
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,106
If you really want to help,
put on a rubber glove,

77
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,191
reach on up there and start pulling.

78
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,819
I know you're joking,
but I grew up on a farm.

79
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,153
I'll do it.

80
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,739
Uh, I just want this to be over.

81
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,825
You know, when
my yoga instructor was pregnant,

82
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,326
she told me there are tons of poses

83
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,661
that put her right into labor.

84
00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:04,870
I'll try,

85
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:08,082
but I feel like bendy poses
are what got me into this mess.

86
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:13,212
Okay, we're gonna start with
some nice breathing exercises.

87
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,050
Sorry. I can't think of anything
except how flat your belly is.

88
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,303
Oh, thank you.

89
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,348
Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.

90
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,981
Okay, we go down

91
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,817
and back up.

92
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,030
And back up!

93
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,450
Yeah, hearing you is not the problem.

94
00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:47,496
- Hey, put that phone away!
- Smile.

95
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,626
I'm telling you,
there's an acupressure point

96
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:55,588
right above your ankle
that can induce contractions.

97
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,506
All right, but just a warning.

98
00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:59,008
My feet are a little swollen.

99
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:02,678
Oh, please, Bernadette.
I'm sure this... Okay.

100
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,598
- What?
- Nothing.

101
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:08,309
Your ankles look fine, and not at all

102
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,811
like I just popped open
a can of crescent rolls.

103
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,816
My mother believes that if
you're not prepared mentally,

104
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,693
it can delay your body
from going into labor.

105
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,154
So what are you trying to say?
It's my fault?

106
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,285
Raj is crazy.
Your ankles aren't that gross.

107
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,417
Hello.

108
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,378
Let me guess. You're here to
try to get me to go into labor.

109
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:39,882
Oh, please. I'm disgusted
when people sneeze,

110
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,717
and that's just stuff
coming out of their nose.

111
00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:46,847
No. I am here to sit with you
and keep you company.

112
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,390
Oh, that's nice.

113
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:51,435
Yeah, by playing
the most complicated board game

114
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,688
ever invented Campaign for North Africa.

115
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,025
I bought it off eBay.

116
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,986
It smells a little like chili,
but all the pieces are there.

117
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,198
Come on, baby.

118
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,534
Get out here right now,
and I'll buy you a pony.

119
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,040
Are there any engineers
on the grant committee?

120
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,250
I don't know. Why?

121
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,044
I didn't have time to figure out
the three-input hydraulic manifold,

122
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,338
so this diagram is really just
a flux capacitor

123
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,881
from Back to the Future.

124
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,802
I'm sorry this is on such short notice.

125
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,388
Hey, I just wish I could be
there when you present it.

126
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:28,806
That's okay.

127
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,808
It's more important that
you spend time with Michael.

128
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:32,935
Who's Michael?

129
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,938
Uh, your son?

130
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,106
No, it's not.

131
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,024
My son doesn't have a name yet.

132
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,614
Okay, well, then, Bernadette's son.

133
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,242
I can't believe her.

134
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,453
She knows I don't want
to name the baby after her dad.

135
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,039
- What did you want to name him?
- I don't know.

136
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,208
We were gonna wait until
we saw what he looked like.

137
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:57,876
Well, it's a baby.

138
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,547
Her dad's a wrinkly bald man.
That wasn't gonna break your way.

139
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:12,683
Oh, come on!

140
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,564
Welcome to the next five to
eight weeks of your life.

141
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,109
Sheldon, I said
I didn't want to play your game.

142
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,111
Well, then don't think of it as a game.

143
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,947
Think of it as a source of information

144
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:30,618
about one of the lesser known
campaigns of World War II.

145
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:33,704
You're right. That's so much better.

146
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,123
I know, right?

147
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:39,543
Okay, first, we need to roll
to determine the weather.

148
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,171
It's a desert. Isn't it gonna be hot?

149
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,188
Yes.

150
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,778
Michael? Really, you think
we're naming him Michael?

151
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,031
Not now, Howard.
I'm in the middle of a game.

152
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,535
You wish. You are hundreds
of hours away from the middle.

153
00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:23,837
I can't believe you're trying
to hijack our son's name.

154
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,881
Bernie?

155
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,886
This is as fast as I
move! Calm down!

156
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,771
So you're just gonna name him Michael?

157
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,481
Were you even gonna tell me?

158
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,899
I told you.

159
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,150
When?

160
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,819
Oh, right. That was Amy.

161
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:52,157
What's wrong with Michael?
It's my dad's name.

162
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:55,744
I don't want to name our son
after your father.

163
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,417
I didn't want to say this,
but he's dying.

164
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,002
He is?

165
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,631
Eventually. I mean, you
see the way the man eats.

166
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,300
Okay, is this the hormones,

167
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,678
or have you always been a lunatic?

168
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,889
I don't even know anymore.

169
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,060
Bernie, this is our kid's name.

170
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,771
I think we should both agree.

171
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,190
You're right. We both made this baby.

172
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,775
Thank you.

173
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,236
And I carried it, had to
stay in bed for four months,

174
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,571
sacrificed my body and my job,

175
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,448
and soon it's gonna
burst its way out of me

176
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,241
like the Kool-Aid Man.

177
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,703
Exactly. Fifty-fifty.

178
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,543
I think I got Bernadette in trouble.
Maybe we should go.

179
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,128
I can't.

180
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,714
She and I are playing
Campaign for North Africa.

181
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,259
She doesn't want to play that.

182
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,637
Neither did the Egyptians,
but that didn't stop Rommel.

183
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,349
Hey! I brought Chinese.

184
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,976
And I brought Indian.

185
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,104
What are you guys doing here?

186
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:07,274
Sheldon texted and said
Bernadette wanted us all to come over.

187
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:13,280
The game's best with
five to ten players.

188
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,827
Okay, if it's not Michael, then
what do you want to name him?

189
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,372
Harry, like Potter or Houdini.

190
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,210
It doesn't bother you that I have
an old boyfriend named Harry?

191
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,129
Okay.

192
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,883
How about AI or Max or

193
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,593
Ted or Kevin?

194
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,637
Same answer.

195
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,264
Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn.

196
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:43,185
Uh, Penny's air force
is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.

197
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,312
We're kind of busy.

198
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,898
Oh, okay. But you're being pretty rude.

199
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,275
Everyone did come over
to play this game with you.

200
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,739
You know, I always thought
Christian was a nice name.

201
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,409
I don't know.
Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

202
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,080
Bernadette, it's your turn.

203
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,289
What about Greg?

204
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,958
All right, I'll just roll for you.

205
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,169
Oh, that is a good one!

206
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,672
Your troops' morale rating
is pretty high.

207
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,382
Now, Leonard, as the defender,

208
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,342
we need to subtract your morale rating

209
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,927
from Bernadette's to get a final

210
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,846
adjusted morale rating for the assault.

211
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,974
And I will just check
the assault differential column.

212
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,309
Oh, who said war was hell?

213
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,272
Yeah, that's a rhetorical question.
Sherman said it.

214
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,565
What about Sherman?

215
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,149
Like, Sherman Wolowitz.

216
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:34,027
Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna
take his mother to prom.

217
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,990
Hey, Howard, you did that, right?

218
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,286
I didn't take her. She chaperoned.

219
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,830
We slow-danced once.

220
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,000
What about Paul?

221
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,253
Paul. Paul Wolowitz.

222
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:52,379
I like it.

223
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,298
Like "Koothra-paul-I."

224
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,135
Okay, you ruined it.

225
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,264
All right, that moves us on
to the tactical shipping phase.

226
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,183
Penny, I believe,
as logistics commander, that's you.

227
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,936
- Okay. I surrender.
- Uh...

228
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,022
Nice try, Penny.

229
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,232
It takes more
than everybody not enjoying it

230
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,109
to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.

231
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,571
Sheldon, we're talking
about something important here.

232
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,241
Fine. If you pick a baby name,
can we get back to playing?

233
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,201
- Sure.
- All right, here we go.

234
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,120
Ranatanata.

235
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,707
You can't name him Ranatanata.

236
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,418
Oh, right, it's a boy.
That'd be ridiculous.

237
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:34,379
What about Ozymandias?

238
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,966
Are you making these up
or having a stroke?

239
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,346
Ozymandias is from a poem
by Percy Bysshe Shelley.

240
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,515
Oh! Oh! Bysshe Wolowitz.
Solved. Back to the game.

241
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,728
Heyo! Sandstorm!

242
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,732
Uh, some people name their
kids after places.

243
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,485
Like what, Walla Walla Wolowitz?

244
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,281
If you think that is better
than Ozymandias Wolowitz,

245
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,075
then you have been breathing in
the poisonous gas

246
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,743
that my troops illegally dispersed.

247
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,870
Oh...

248
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,790
- You okay?
- I think that was a contraction.

249
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,125
Is it time? Do we need
to go to the hospital?

250
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,293
No. We've been through this before.

251
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,836
My water hasn't even broken yet.

252
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,588
Never mind your water.

253
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,674
Has your mucus plug popped out?

254
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,551
Ew, no!

255
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,887
Oh, you're right.
We probably would've heard that.

256
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,847
It's not a champagne cork.

257
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,100
Although that would be festive.

258
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,228
You know what, maybe we should go.

259
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,854
Did you have another contraction?

260
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,564
No. I'm just worried
that Sheldon's gonna say

261
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,358
"mucus plug" again.

262
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,820
And I'm worried
one's gonna hit me in the eye.

263
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:41,697
Yep, it's time.

264
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:42,823
Should we take two cars?

265
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,158
Uh, actually, could you
stay here and watch Halley?

266
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,285
That way we don't have to wait
for Bernadette's parents.

267
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,620
Yeah, you guys go.
We'll take care of her.

268
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:49,955
You have nothing to worry about.

269
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,498
Uh... Well, not nothing.

270
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,751
There are U-boats approaching
the Suez Canal.

271
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,463
It's too late for us. Go, go!
Save yourselves!

272
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:02,759
Suez? Birth?
It's a big night for canals.

273
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,266
How you feeling?

274
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,851
Eh...

275
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,895
But I am really excited to meet our son.

276
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,982
Me, too. I thought
I'd be super freaked out.

277
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,277
But I'm ready for this.

278
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,654
Well, not the part where you're in labor

279
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,032
and you squeeze my fingers
till they turn blue.

280
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,200
I'm sorry.

281
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,870
That must be really painful for you.

282
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:33,957
It is. I mean, last time, I...

283
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,209
Oh, okay, I see what you're doing.

284
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,673
It's a big one.

285
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,675
Just breathe.

286
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,054
Okay.

287
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222
Okay, I'm good.

288
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,185
I'm sorry I tried
to sneak the name past you.

289
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519
That's okay.

290
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,647
I'm sorry I used up
so many good names in college.

291
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,986
I was really competitive
with my roommate.

292
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,990
Forget about it.

293
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034
Please.

294
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,914
You know what, maybe we're putting
too much pressure on this.

295
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,582
It doesn't matter what we name him.

296
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,042
He's gonna be amazing.

297
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,585
You're right.

298
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,546
This kid is part you and part me.

299
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,801
Yeah. He's gonna be smart
and kind and funny.

300
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,720
If he cracks five-foot-six,
it'll be a miracle.

301
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,599
I've always liked the name Elliott.

302
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,768
Sorry, can't have it.
That's my boy name.

303
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,603
I said it first.

304
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,480
It's not like calling dibs.

305
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,357
Yes, it is. It's exactly like that.

306
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,109
Dibs on Elliott.

307
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,195
I'm just saying,
we might get there first.

308
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,613
You only have sex once a year.

309
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,573
I'll probably have sex tonight.

310
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,744
Fine, you can have Elliott.

311
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,997
When did you pick out our kids' names?

312
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,125
Remember that day
you moved into the building?

313
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,876
Yes.

314
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:04,589
A non-creepy amount of time after that.

315
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,676
Yeah, I like the name Elliott.

316
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,511
That wasn't on my list, but I like it.

317
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:12,597
We've heard your names.
They're ridiculous.

318
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,975
And I have a cousin named Dilip.

319
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,353
Well, I wasn't going to give
them any of the good names.

320
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,896
I'm saving those for us.

321
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,024
Really? You've thought about our kids?

322
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:26,403
Of course. I think you and I
will have exceptional children.

323
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,448
Oh... Well, I think so, too.

324
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,117
How many kids do you guys want?

325
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,244
- Fifteen.
- Two.

326
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,998
- What?
- Well, don't worry.

327
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,875
I don't expect you to bear them all.

328
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:43,128
I'm sure we can find a
suitable uterus to rent.

329
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,464
- No!
- Uh-huh!

330
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,050
We weren't thinking about you.

331
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,177
Of course not.

332
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,095
I am going to the kitchen.

333
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,555
Can I get anybody anything?

334
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,308
Penny, nice glass of milk
and a multivitamin?

335
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,905
Guys.

336
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,365
Guys, wake up. Terrible news.

337
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,575
Oh, my God. What, what, what?

338
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,994
- Is it the baby?
- No. No, no, we miscalculated

339
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,537
our unassigned armor class units.

340
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,039
We need to start over.

341
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,250
- What?
- No, no, no, not from the beginning.

342
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,877
Just from when the tanks started moving.

343
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,504
That was five hours ago.

344
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:31,426
No. No, that was two hours ago.
It only feels like five.

345
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,262
- What time is it?
- It's almost 2:30.

346
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,805
Don't you think
we should've heard something?

347
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,433
- I'm sure they're fine.
- I'm calling them.

348
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,771
Hey!

349
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:43,939
Hey, everything okay?

350
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:47,275
Yeah! The baby was born
about an hour ago.

351
00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:50,070
Dude, why didn't you call me?

352
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,323
The only way I would
see my son for the first time

353
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,367
and immediately think
"I need to call Raj"

354
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,244
is if he came out brown.

355
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,623
You know, it can take some time
for pigment to form.

356
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,458
You're still not out of the woods.

357
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,169
- Well, congratulations! Yeah.
- Hey, what'd you name him?

358
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:07,796
Neil Michael.

359
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,798
Neil for Armstrong,

360
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,383
Gaiman, and Diamond.

361
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,636
Michael because Bernie
had to get six stitches.

362
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,846
Neil. That's cute.

363
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,807
But we're calling him Michael!

364
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,184
I'm not gonna fight her.

365
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,603
That kid's head was the size
of a cantaloupe.

366
00:18:24,305 --> 00:18:34,305
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