1 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:13,557 Horsin' Around is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,809 Mondays. 3 00:00:15,893 --> 00:00:18,687 Well, good morning to you too. 4 00:00:18,771 --> 00:00:20,021 Oh, hey. 5 00:00:20,105 --> 00:00:21,857 Where? I'd love hay. 6 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,113 In 1987, the situation comedy Horsin' Around 7 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,573 premiered on ABC. 8 00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:31,784 The show, in which a young, bachelor horse 9 00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:33,994 is forced to reevaluate his priorities 10 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,413 when he agrees to raise three human children, 11 00:00:36,496 --> 00:00:38,290 was initially dismissed by critics 12 00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:41,877 as broad and saccharine and not good, 13 00:00:41,961 --> 00:00:44,588 but the family comedy struck a chord with America 14 00:00:44,671 --> 00:00:46,840 and went on to air for nine seasons. 15 00:00:46,924 --> 00:00:49,885 The star of Horsin' Around, BoJack Horseman, 16 00:00:49,969 --> 00:00:51,094 is our guest tonight. 17 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,345 Welcome, BoJack. 18 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,889 It is good to be here, Charlie. 19 00:00:53,973 --> 00:00:55,223 Sorry I was late. The traffic... 20 00:00:55,307 --> 00:00:56,600 It's really no problem. 21 00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:57,851 I parked in a handicapped spot. 22 00:00:57,935 --> 00:00:58,936 I hope that's okay. 23 00:00:59,019 --> 00:01:00,020 You parked in a... 24 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,104 I'm sorry, disabled spot. 25 00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,690 Is that the proper nomenclature? 26 00:01:03,774 --> 00:01:05,317 Maybe you should move the car. 27 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,735 No, I don't think I should drive right now. 28 00:01:06,819 --> 00:01:08,612 I'm incredibly drunk. 29 00:01:08,695 --> 00:01:11,490 You're telling me that you're drunk right now? 30 00:01:11,573 --> 00:01:13,492 Is it just me, or am I nailing this interview? 31 00:01:13,575 --> 00:01:14,868 I kind of feel like I'm nailing it. 32 00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:16,495 Yes. 33 00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:19,289 Anyway, we were talking about Horsin' Around. 34 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,583 To what do you attribute the show's wide appeal? 35 00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:23,002 Charlie, listen, you know, 36 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,252 I know that it's very hip these days 37 00:01:24,336 --> 00:01:25,921 to shit all over Horsin' Around, 38 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:27,380 but at the time, I can tell you... 39 00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:28,632 - Is it okay to say "shit"? - Please don't. 40 00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:29,925 'Cause I... I think the show's 41 00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:31,551 actually pretty solid for what it is. 42 00:01:31,635 --> 00:01:33,136 It's not Ibsen, sure, 43 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:34,721 but look, for a lot of people, 44 00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,265 life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra, 45 00:01:37,349 --> 00:01:39,267 and sometimes when you get home 46 00:01:39,351 --> 00:01:41,144 from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, 47 00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:44,105 you just want to watch a show about good, likable people 48 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:45,440 who love each other, 49 00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:47,067 where, you know, no matter what happens, 50 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,819 at the end of 30 minutes, 51 00:01:48,902 --> 00:01:50,487 everything's gonna turn out okay. 52 00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:52,364 You know, because in real life... 53 00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:55,034 Did I already say the thing about the urethra? 54 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,743 Well, let's talk about real life. 55 00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:58,912 What have you been doing since the show's cancellation 56 00:01:58,996 --> 00:02:00,288 18 years ago? 57 00:02:00,372 --> 00:02:01,665 That's a great question, Charlie. 58 00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:03,917 I, uh... 59 00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,460 Uh, I... 60 00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:09,255 Um... 61 00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:08,440 Maury! Maury! Maury! Maury! 62 00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:10,275 In the case of one-year-old Phoenix, 63 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,736 you are the father. 64 00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,196 Morning, sunshine. 65 00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:18,033 Why so gloomy, roomie? 66 00:03:18,117 --> 00:03:19,118 First of all, we're not roommates. 67 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,660 You are my houseguest. 68 00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:22,913 Well, we don't need to put labels on things. 69 00:03:22,996 --> 00:03:24,790 You sleep on my couch, and you don't pay rent. 70 00:03:24,873 --> 00:03:27,042 I've had tapeworms that were less parasitic. 71 00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:28,127 I don't even remember why I let you 72 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,419 stay with me in the first place. 73 00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:30,754 Because my parents kicked me out, 74 00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:32,464 and I had nowhere to go, 75 00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:33,924 and even though you don't want anyone to know it... 76 00:03:39,304 --> 00:03:41,389 You secretly have a good heart. 77 00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:42,682 You told me they didn't approve 78 00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:44,476 of your "alternative lifestyle." 79 00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:45,769 I thought you were, like, 80 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,270 a troubled gay teen or something. 81 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,855 I didn't realize by "alternative lifestyle" 82 00:03:48,939 --> 00:03:50,190 that you meant you were lazy. 83 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,358 That's on you for making assumptions. 84 00:03:52,442 --> 00:03:54,653 Also, if you're looking for the Toaster Strudels, 85 00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,989 I got really high last night and ate them all. 86 00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:01,660 Did you say you've had tapeworms? 87 00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:07,332 Thanks for meeting me here. 88 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,042 I would have invited you to my office, 89 00:04:09,126 --> 00:04:11,128 but the electric company shut off our power. 90 00:04:11,211 --> 00:04:12,212 That's unfortunate. 91 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,755 Just an issue with the bank 92 00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,174 and a lack of money in it. 93 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:17,467 Now, as you know, Penguin is very eager 94 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,718 to publish your memoirs, 95 00:04:18,802 --> 00:04:20,846 but you keep missing your deadlines. 96 00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:22,097 I know, and I'm sorry, 97 00:04:22,181 --> 00:04:23,849 but I am making great progress. 98 00:04:23,932 --> 00:04:27,560 BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story, 99 00:04:27,644 --> 00:04:30,147 written by BoJack Horseman. 100 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:31,690 Chapter one. 101 00:04:32,691 --> 00:04:34,693 Chapter one. 102 00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:39,739 Chapter... 103 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:42,868 One. 104 00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:44,995 Look, we really need a bestseller here at Penguin. 105 00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:47,747 Things are not that great for me, money wise. 106 00:04:47,831 --> 00:04:49,916 Aren't you an editor at a major publishing house? 107 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,835 Yeah, a publishing house. 108 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:53,461 When was the last time you saw a book? 109 00:04:53,545 --> 00:04:54,754 I thought I saw someone 110 00:04:54,838 --> 00:04:56,173 reading one in the park the other day, 111 00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:57,674 but it turned out it was a takeout menu. 112 00:04:57,757 --> 00:04:59,843 Whenever you're ready. 113 00:05:04,139 --> 00:05:05,682 We're living month to month here. 114 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,433 We're kind of counting on your autobiography 115 00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,852 to save the company, no pressure. 116 00:05:08,935 --> 00:05:10,478 That's actually a lot of pressure. 117 00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:12,438 Have you considered working with a ghostwriter? 118 00:05:12,564 --> 00:05:14,066 Ugh, no, thank you. 119 00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:15,650 Look, just give me one more week, 120 00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:17,236 and I will give you some pages 121 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,279 that'll knock your ass back to the South Pole. 122 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,739 I'm from Cincinnati. 123 00:05:20,822 --> 00:05:22,490 It... that doesn't matter. 124 00:05:22,574 --> 00:05:23,783 I'll call you in a week. 125 00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:24,868 Yes, one week. 126 00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:26,119 I'm telling you, 127 00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:29,081 this book is a top priority for me. 128 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,545 Oh, right. Yeesh. 129 00:05:37,547 --> 00:05:39,174 You're wearing that to the prom? 130 00:05:39,258 --> 00:05:41,009 What, you don't think it's cute? 131 00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:43,762 Neigh way, Jose. 132 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:48,225 "Neigh way, Jose." 133 00:05:48,308 --> 00:05:50,102 I improvised that line. 134 00:05:50,185 --> 00:05:51,436 I mean, it was written, 135 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,354 but I gave it the old BoJack spin. 136 00:05:53,438 --> 00:05:55,815 Hey, how many times have you watched this episode? 137 00:05:55,899 --> 00:05:57,192 Yeah, but do you get it, though? 138 00:05:57,276 --> 00:05:58,568 Because "nay" means no, 139 00:05:58,651 --> 00:06:00,195 but it's also a thing that horses say. 140 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,114 It works on every level. 141 00:06:02,197 --> 00:06:04,283 - I get it. - Ah, you don't get it. 142 00:06:28,223 --> 00:06:29,432 Are you drunk? 143 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,059 Todd, I weigh over 1,200 pounds. 144 00:06:31,143 --> 00:06:33,770 It takes a lot of beer to get me drunk. 145 00:06:33,853 --> 00:06:34,854 Yes. 146 00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:36,481 Ah, yeah, I see. 147 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,441 You're just bummed out because Princess Carolyn 148 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:39,776 dumped you last night. 149 00:06:41,903 --> 00:06:43,613 BoJack, we need to talk. 150 00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:45,073 Hey, check out the rug on that guy. 151 00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:46,449 Slow and steady, am I right, ladies? 152 00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:48,952 Ha-cha-cha. 153 00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:50,453 Who does he think he's fooling? 154 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,913 Turtles don't have hair. 155 00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,165 Stop embarrassing me. 156 00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:54,749 That is Lenny Turteltaub. 157 00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,335 You know, I am not crazy about the bread here. 158 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,418 Mm. 159 00:06:57,502 --> 00:06:58,962 Why do I keep eating it? 160 00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:01,881 BoJack, can you please just listen for a second? 161 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:05,177 You have my undivided attention. 162 00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,637 I think we should see other people. 163 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,764 Were we not seeing other people? 164 00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,144 BoJack, I'm almost there. 165 00:07:14,227 --> 00:07:15,603 Wait. Shh! Shut up. 166 00:07:15,687 --> 00:07:18,773 Now, that's a horse of a different... 167 00:07:18,857 --> 00:07:19,858 cruller? 168 00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,693 Oh! 169 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:24,529 God, that's good comedy. 170 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,198 - BoJack! - What? 171 00:07:26,281 --> 00:07:27,448 Everyone gets a mulligan, 172 00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:30,493 and my mulligan was Carey Mulligan. 173 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,413 I'm kidding, jeez. It was Emily Mortimer. 174 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,248 - What is the problem here? 175 00:07:35,332 --> 00:07:37,292 Are you embarrassed of me because I'm a has-been? 176 00:07:37,376 --> 00:07:39,002 Because you know that I'm writing that book 177 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:41,004 that is gonna make everybody love me again. 178 00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,964 You're not really writing a book. 179 00:07:43,048 --> 00:07:44,216 Well, I already spent my advance, 180 00:07:44,299 --> 00:07:45,550 so that's a first step. 181 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,219 Look, this has been a lot of fun, 182 00:07:47,302 --> 00:07:48,970 but I need to start thinking about my future. 183 00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:50,972 I mean, you don't even respect me enough 184 00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:52,057 to have a baby with me. 185 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:53,141 Whoa, what? 186 00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:54,684 I never explicitly said that. 187 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,311 You said it with your actions. 188 00:07:56,395 --> 00:07:57,437 What actions? 189 00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:00,523 Oh, look at that baby. 190 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,734 Isn't he the cutest baby you ever saw? 191 00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:04,236 What? What? What? No, no, wha... 192 00:08:15,705 --> 00:08:17,498 Step away from the stolen vehicle, sir! 193 00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:19,334 No, no, no. Misunderstanding, officer. 194 00:08:19,418 --> 00:08:21,002 I was running away from my girlfriend 195 00:08:21,086 --> 00:08:23,338 whom I don't respect enough to have a baby with. 196 00:08:23,422 --> 00:08:25,757 Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around? 197 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,385 Oh, face it. You're afraid of commitment. 198 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:30,011 I'm not afraid of commitment. 199 00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:31,637 I commit to things all the time. 200 00:08:31,721 --> 00:08:33,348 It's the following through on that commitment 201 00:08:33,432 --> 00:08:34,515 that I take issue with. 202 00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:36,351 Hey, stupid, isn't that your friend over there? 203 00:08:36,435 --> 00:08:37,936 Oh, Mr. Peanutbutter? 204 00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:39,312 God, I hope he doesn't see us. 205 00:08:39,396 --> 00:08:41,564 Is that BoJack Horseman? 206 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:43,024 Oh, jeez, here we go. 207 00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:44,401 Mr. Peanutbutter 208 00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:47,279 and BoJack Horseman in the same room. 209 00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:49,614 What is this, a crossover episode? 210 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,450 You know, that gets funnier every time. 211 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,034 You're being sarcastic, 212 00:08:53,118 --> 00:08:54,911 but I think it does actually get funnier every time. 213 00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,329 We're actually in the middle of breaking up right now, 214 00:08:56,413 --> 00:08:58,123 - so if you could just... - Yeah? 215 00:08:58,206 --> 00:08:59,707 - You're in the middle of it? - Yeah, that's right. 216 00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,752 So would it be awkward if I joined you right now? 217 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,296 Yes, actually, it's very awkward. 218 00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:05,546 Is that not clear? 219 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:08,091 Yeah, this is awkward right now? 220 00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,342 Yes, please leave. 221 00:09:09,426 --> 00:09:10,927 How are you, Mr. Peanutbutter? 222 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:13,388 Oh, living the dream, P.C., living the dream. 223 00:09:13,472 --> 00:09:14,889 Why are you making conversation? 224 00:09:14,973 --> 00:09:16,391 Oh, let's see, it's the English word... 225 00:09:16,475 --> 00:09:18,310 It's called being polite, BoJack. 226 00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:20,395 But am I crazy that this is a bad time? 227 00:09:20,479 --> 00:09:22,730 Always a Clydesdale, never a Clyde, eh, BoJack? 228 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,107 What? 229 00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:25,733 You'll get that one later, man. 230 00:09:25,817 --> 00:09:27,568 Erica, get out of here with that face. 231 00:09:27,652 --> 00:09:28,820 Would it kill you to be civil? 232 00:09:28,903 --> 00:09:30,530 This is why we're breaking up. 233 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,573 So it's not because of the thing with the baby? 234 00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:34,409 It's because of a lot of things! 235 00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:35,952 Waiter, could we please have the check? 236 00:09:36,035 --> 00:09:37,537 - Thank you. - We haven't even ordered yet. 237 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,373 I have wasted so many dinners on you, BoJack Horseman. 238 00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:42,917 I don't know how you can expect anyone else to love you 239 00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:44,669 when you so clearly hate yourself. 240 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,380 - Here you go. - Let me see that. 241 00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,550 $10 for bread? 242 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,260 I don't want to live in a society 243 00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:53,970 where the premeal bread isn't free. 244 00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:56,848 It is free if you order a meal. 245 00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:58,475 Can you take me home, please? 246 00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:00,018 Yeah, but I didn't even eat that much bread. 247 00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:01,102 What did I have? I must have had... 248 00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:03,313 You ate nine baskets, sir. 249 00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:04,772 Nine... really? 250 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,941 Great, now I'm gonna feel like a fat ass all week. 251 00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,778 You've seen me naked. Do you think I'm getting chubby? 252 00:10:10,862 --> 00:10:12,405 You want to know the real reason we're breaking up? 253 00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:13,573 What was that? Sorry. 254 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,908 Couldn't hear you over the sound of my calories not metabolizing. 255 00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:17,994 This is so classic you. 256 00:10:18,077 --> 00:10:19,412 You're using this bread thing 257 00:10:19,496 --> 00:10:21,331 to avoid talking about our relationship. 258 00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:23,291 No, that is definitely not happening. 259 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:25,084 I'd like to go home now. 260 00:10:27,504 --> 00:10:28,713 You think I'm fat. 261 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,631 So yeah, technically I was dumped, 262 00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,467 but the real headline of the evening was, 263 00:10:32,551 --> 00:10:34,969 "Dumb guy eats bread, gets fat, the end." 264 00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:37,389 What kind of headline is that? 265 00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:39,599 Wasn't there a pizza here a second ago? 266 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,893 God damn it! Stop the presses. 267 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,728 You're not fat. 268 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,398 Oh, hey, let's throw a party. That'll cheer you up. 269 00:10:46,523 --> 00:10:48,983 No, it won't. It'll cheer you up. 270 00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,443 I'll stand in the corner by myself 271 00:10:50,527 --> 00:10:52,111 eating cotton candy until I barf 272 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:54,113 like I did at your last party. 273 00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:57,742 Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around? 274 00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,288 That was a good party. 275 00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:05,124 Hey, didn't we get a cotton candy machine for that party? 276 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:07,627 Who told you Princess Carolyn and I broke up? 277 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,379 - She did. - What? 278 00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:11,005 You never took me home, jerk! 279 00:11:11,089 --> 00:11:12,840 Oh, everything's my fault. 280 00:11:12,924 --> 00:11:14,509 Take me home. 281 00:11:14,593 --> 00:11:16,553 Okay, jeez. 282 00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:18,388 But I'm not looking for parking in Silver Lake. 283 00:11:18,471 --> 00:11:19,680 I'll slow the car down to a crawl, 284 00:11:19,764 --> 00:11:20,765 and you can duck and roll. 285 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:25,019 You know what, you can take a last look at this face, 286 00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:26,605 because it's the last time you're gonna see it. 287 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:27,688 Hey-up! 288 00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,362 Hello? 289 00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:35,780 I've got Princess Carolyn for you. 290 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,282 Uh, okay. 291 00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:38,533 BoJack. 292 00:11:38,617 --> 00:11:40,118 Oh, my God, we just broke up. 293 00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:41,786 Yeah, but I'm still your agent. 294 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,413 I pride myself on my ability 295 00:11:43,496 --> 00:11:45,998 to separate my professional life from my personal life. 296 00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:47,125 Great. 297 00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,335 Then, as my agent, do you think I'm getting fat? 298 00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:50,503 No way. 299 00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:52,755 You are in the prime of your life, never looked better. 300 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,006 What about as my ex-girlfriend? 301 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,967 You look like a pile of crap ate a second pile of crap 302 00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:57,552 and then crapped out a third pile of crap. 303 00:11:57,636 --> 00:12:00,138 Wait, wait, so which pile of crap do I look like? 304 00:12:00,221 --> 00:12:02,056 - The third one. - What? That's the worst one. 305 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,724 I'm not calling you as your ex. 306 00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:05,644 I'm calling you as your agent. 307 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,520 Remember that book you're pretending to write? 308 00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:09,772 Well, Penguin wants an update on your progress. 309 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,190 Does Tuesday work for you, 310 00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:12,609 or are you gonna be too busy this week 311 00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:14,360 masturbating to old pictures of yourself? 312 00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:16,279 I told you, that's not what was happening that time. 313 00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:18,864 I was masturbating to what the picture represented. 314 00:12:18,948 --> 00:12:21,159 You walked in at the worst possible moment! 315 00:12:21,242 --> 00:12:22,827 So, Tuesday, though? 316 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:23,953 Yes, fine! 317 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,415 Whoo! 318 00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:29,000 You don't have anything? 319 00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:30,084 Hey, you got the electricity back. 320 00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:31,377 Good for you. 321 00:12:31,461 --> 00:12:32,587 This company is in dire straits. 322 00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:35,923 We made a series of very bad investments. 323 00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,467 Ever hear of a young adult franchise 324 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,218 called the Swamp Monsters of Malibu? 325 00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:40,761 Uh, no. 326 00:12:40,845 --> 00:12:46,643 Then why did we spend $20 million on marketing? 327 00:12:46,726 --> 00:12:49,437 It's okay, Pinky, go to your happy place. 328 00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:50,689 Uh... 329 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772 Look, I know you're a busy guy. 330 00:12:51,856 --> 00:12:52,857 Actually, I am a busy guy. 331 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,317 I live a very active lifestyle. 332 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,530 Can't I just stay home with you? 333 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,990 I know kindergarten is scary, 334 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,992 but you're a big girl now, 335 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,286 and you have to be brave. 336 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:06,787 Okay, Daddy. 337 00:13:06,871 --> 00:13:11,459 Wait, did you just call me "Daddy"? 338 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:14,253 Little Sabrina grew up right before our eyes, right, Todd? 339 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:15,796 Todd? 340 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,881 Todd! 341 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,174 What? 342 00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,092 Did Sabrina grow up before our eyes? 343 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:21,344 Yes! 344 00:13:22,887 --> 00:13:23,888 We're tired of waiting. 345 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,057 We're hiring you a ghostwriter. 346 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:28,184 Diane "Nugent"? 347 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,436 She's great, and she's got a thing for horses. 348 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,480 Check this out. 349 00:13:32,564 --> 00:13:34,190 Hey, Secretariat. 350 00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:35,816 You know, I always wanted to play Secretariat in a movie. 351 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,443 He's kind of my personal hero. 352 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:40,029 Could never get the project off the ground, though. 353 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,073 I mean, there was this one time I came close in the '90s, 354 00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:43,824 but then those Prefontaine movies came out, 355 00:13:43,908 --> 00:13:45,785 and people got tired of seeing running on-screen. 356 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,953 Don't tell me. Tell her! 357 00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,455 She's cute. 358 00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:51,708 Call her. That's a loan, by the way. 359 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,959 We can't afford to be giving out free books to people, 360 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:55,587 but you can take anything you want 361 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,922 from the Swamp Monsters swag box. 362 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,430 Oh, God, I'm a failure. 363 00:14:05,513 --> 00:14:07,432 Oh, you're not a failure. 364 00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:08,933 Why did I say I could write a book? 365 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,102 Because you have an amazing story to tell. 366 00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:13,020 - Relax. - Relax? 367 00:14:13,104 --> 00:14:14,522 Easy for you to say, you hippie. 368 00:14:14,606 --> 00:14:17,233 You've never had a day of stress in your life. 369 00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:18,984 Ow. Why? 370 00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:22,822 And that's for trying to sell E on the cartel's turf. 371 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,742 Oh, where's Gabriela? 372 00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:28,494 She went back to Mexico City, ese, 373 00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:30,705 to be with her husband. 374 00:14:30,789 --> 00:14:33,958 What? No! 375 00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,378 - Gabriela, why? - Who? 376 00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:38,797 We were talking about me. 377 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,590 Can you try to focus for, like, a second? 378 00:14:40,673 --> 00:14:42,425 Oh, yeah, sorry. You were saying? 379 00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:44,176 Never should have signed this book deal. 380 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,261 You know what my problem is? 381 00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,512 I can't say no to people 382 00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:48,013 because I want everyone to like me. 383 00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:51,559 You want everyone to like you? 384 00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:52,935 Yeah, why? 385 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,312 Do people not like me? 386 00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:58,775 Uh... 387 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,446 Uh... 388 00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:04,697 What were we talking about? 389 00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,491 I can see the headline now, 390 00:15:06,574 --> 00:15:10,202 "Stupid BoJack writes a stupid book about his stupid life, 391 00:15:10,286 --> 00:15:11,412 nobody cares." 392 00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:13,289 What newspapers are you reading? 393 00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:14,957 Hey, why don't you just let that lady 394 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,501 write your book and be done with it? 395 00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:18,210 Better question, why are you in my kitchen? 396 00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:19,295 I'm making breakfast. 397 00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:21,088 We had sex last night, dummy. 398 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,757 Ugh, I really got to start putting my phone 399 00:15:22,841 --> 00:15:24,425 on airplane mode when I drink. 400 00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,387 This lady probably thinks I'm just some dumb sitcom actor. 401 00:15:28,471 --> 00:15:29,930 I hate her and her stupid, 402 00:15:30,014 --> 00:15:31,641 impossible-to-pronounce last name, 403 00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:33,184 Na-goo-ya-go-goo-goo-goo-ga. 404 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,686 You haven't even met her. 405 00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:36,145 Give her a chance. 406 00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:37,897 Oh, you should invite her to the party. 407 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,023 What party? 408 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,316 Why are you so obsessed 409 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,861 with throwing a party all of a sudden? 410 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,570 Ow, ow, ow! 411 00:15:44,654 --> 00:15:46,531 You know how much money we lost 'cause of you? 412 00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:50,159 I can't even afford a hall now for my daughter's 15th birthday, 413 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:53,830 and now I got a hundred guests coming and nowhere to put them. 414 00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:57,958 You owe me a party, cabrón, and if you don't deliver... 415 00:16:01,462 --> 00:16:03,047 Because parties are fun? 416 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,757 This book is really important to me. 417 00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:06,258 I don't want to just hand it off to some stranger. 418 00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,135 If it's so important, why have you written 419 00:16:08,219 --> 00:16:09,679 literally nothing in a year and a half? 420 00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,138 It's too much pressure. 421 00:16:11,222 --> 00:16:14,099 This book is my one shot at preserving my legacy. 422 00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:16,227 I'm a joke, and if this book isn't good, 423 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,937 I'm gonna be a joke forever. 424 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,689 Everyone thinks that I'm just this washed-up hack, 425 00:16:19,772 --> 00:16:21,440 but actually... 426 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:24,026 Oh, God, actually, what if they're right? 427 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,945 I can't breathe. 428 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,112 Am I dying? 429 00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:29,365 Toast. I smell burning toast! 430 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:32,034 Oh, my God, my toast! 431 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,078 Todd, on my grave, 432 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:39,542 I want it to say that I was born in 1975. 433 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:40,919 No one's gonna believe... 434 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,879 Damn it, can't you respect a dying man's wish? 435 00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:44,463 You're not dying. 436 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,931 Well, we did everything we could. 437 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,849 Nurse, record the time of death. 438 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:56,851 It doesn't get easier. 439 00:16:56,935 --> 00:16:58,436 It never gets easier. 440 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,775 What... I don't... 441 00:17:03,858 --> 00:17:07,027 What do you mean he's dead? 442 00:17:07,111 --> 00:17:08,738 That's right, sweetheart. 443 00:17:08,821 --> 00:17:10,615 He died of a broken heart 444 00:17:10,698 --> 00:17:12,700 because you didn't appreciate him enough, 445 00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:14,660 and now he's gone forever. 446 00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:16,913 We might have gone too dark on that series finale. 447 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:18,163 I'm required to hand you over 448 00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,082 to the child protective services. 449 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,333 You're the state's problem now. 450 00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:26,505 Do you just take those DVDs with you everywhere you go? 451 00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:27,966 Linus walked around with a blanket. 452 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,383 No one gave him shit for it. 453 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:30,802 How long is that doctor going to take? 454 00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:32,428 I have a meeting with another client at 3:00. 455 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:33,805 You have other clients? 456 00:17:33,888 --> 00:17:36,056 No, I make a living off you sitting on your ass all day. 457 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:39,059 Are your other clients more talented than I am? 458 00:17:39,143 --> 00:17:40,478 Your silence speaks volumes. 459 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,483 Well, BoJack, it looks like what you experienced 460 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:47,526 was a mild anxiety attack. 461 00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:49,069 Jesus, if that's mild, 462 00:17:49,153 --> 00:17:51,489 I don't want to know what spicy feels like. 463 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:52,782 Too smart for the room? 464 00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,116 It was a salsa joke, people. 465 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,618 You've been overstressed. 466 00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:57,620 I need you to take it easy. 467 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,455 Take it easy, are you kidding? 468 00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:01,874 He doesn't have a job. He has no real responsibilities. 469 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,835 He doesn't do anything but take it easy. 470 00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:06,879 Well, can you take it even easier? 471 00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:09,548 I can try, doctor. I can try. 472 00:18:09,632 --> 00:18:11,801 This book deal is obviously stressing you out. 473 00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:13,886 Will you just call the ghostwriter already? 474 00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:18,140 What, you want me to call this woman on the phone? 475 00:18:19,684 --> 00:18:22,353 Well, you just had another anxiety attack. 476 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,438 And Entertainment Weekly said I wasn't consistent. 477 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,650 Really, not even a pity laugh? 478 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,318 I did almost die. 479 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,736 Ha. 480 00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,155 I have to check on some other patients. 481 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,573 You have other patients? 482 00:18:34,657 --> 00:18:36,784 BoJack, let's have a party, okay? 483 00:18:36,868 --> 00:18:37,994 I'll organize the whole thing. 484 00:18:38,077 --> 00:18:39,244 You can invite the ghostwriter 485 00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:41,080 and have a nice, casual conversation 486 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,042 in a fun, pressure-free environment. 487 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,044 Okay, fine. We'll have a party. 488 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,545 Oh, thank God. 489 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,088 But we're not getting a cotton candy machine. 490 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,673 I can't control myself around those things. 491 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,257 I totally hear what you are saying, 492 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:54,426 and I will do my best. 493 00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:11,694 Señor Horseman, I will never forget your generosity today. 494 00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:15,155 You have made a powerful ally for life. 495 00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:17,033 Mwah. Let's dance! 496 00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:18,492 Todd, who was that guy? 497 00:19:18,576 --> 00:19:19,744 Who are all these people? 498 00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,370 Oh, you know, just a variety of folks 499 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,454 from all walks of life. 500 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:23,956 Is this a quinceañera? 501 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,875 Oh, so any party with Mexican teenage girls 502 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:26,959 is a quinceañera? 503 00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:28,502 Now who's racist? 504 00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,633 I find that piñata offensive. 505 00:19:34,717 --> 00:19:36,218 If you'll excuse me, 506 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:39,847 I have a Virgin of Guadalupe pendant to present. 507 00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,895 BoJack! 508 00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:47,271 Oh, good Lord. 509 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,607 Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter. 510 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,276 Can you believe this, the two of us in the same house? 511 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,278 Is this a crossover episode? 512 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,655 No, I'm just kidding around, man. 513 00:19:56,739 --> 00:19:58,950 Seriously, though, how are you? 514 00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,076 Well, I've been kind of up and... 515 00:20:00,159 --> 00:20:01,911 Living the dream, huh? Yeah. 516 00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:03,829 Hey, we'll catch up later, all right? 517 00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:05,957 I want to talk to you. 518 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,417 Erica, how are you looking so beautiful? 519 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,585 I'm furious. 520 00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:18,094 Hey, BoJack, right? 521 00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,512 - BoJack Horseman? - Yes. 522 00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:22,932 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I don't want to mispronounce your name. 523 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:24,558 It's Diane. 524 00:20:24,642 --> 00:20:26,144 Oh, Diane. 525 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,937 Thanks for inviting me to your party. 526 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,229 Sorry I haven't really been mingling. 527 00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:31,482 I get kind of awkward at parties. 528 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:33,400 - Have you tried alcohol? - I don't know. 529 00:20:33,484 --> 00:20:37,321 Parties make me anxious in a real broad sense. 530 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,031 Like, look at that guy. 531 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,324 He's having fun. 532 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,575 Why haven't I figured it out? 533 00:20:41,659 --> 00:20:42,660 What guy? 534 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:44,036 No, there's no guy there. 535 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,330 I'm just saying, like, a guy, you know? 536 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,748 Oh, okay, yeah. 537 00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:49,667 I'm probably just overthinking it 538 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,585 because I never got the practice 539 00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:53,462 because I didn't get invited to any parties in high school. 540 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,339 What am I talking about? 541 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,049 You don't care about any of that. 542 00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:58,509 Shut up, Diane. 543 00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,552 You're at a party, compliment the host. 544 00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:03,055 You have a lovely home. 545 00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:05,099 Yeah, well, if you're gonna throw away 546 00:21:05,183 --> 00:21:07,143 most of your adult life on some dumb sitcom, 547 00:21:07,226 --> 00:21:10,229 you might as well get a sweet house out of the deal, right? 548 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,606 So what are you working on these days? 549 00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:14,025 Well, mostly I just sit around the house 550 00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,234 and complain about things. 551 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,319 Yeah, how's that working out for you? 552 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,238 I can't complain, so you know. 553 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,615 No, I will not have sex with you! 554 00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,951 This girl wants me to have sex with her. 555 00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:25,786 No, I'm just kidding around. 556 00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,371 You're a good sport. 557 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,623 - Ugh, you know who that is? - Mr. Peanutbutter? 558 00:21:29,707 --> 00:21:31,959 Yeah, he was on that show Mr. Peanutbutter's House 559 00:21:32,043 --> 00:21:34,670 about that dog who adopted the three human kids. 560 00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:37,589 What a dumb idea for a TV show. 561 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:40,009 You people are all right. 562 00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:41,468 Who wants an autograph? 563 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:42,970 He's so stupid he doesn't realize 564 00:21:43,054 --> 00:21:45,472 how miserable he should be. I envy that. 565 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:47,933 Hey, do you know the story of the dad from The Brady Bunch? 566 00:21:48,017 --> 00:21:49,309 Do I know his story? 567 00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:50,644 If I recall correctly, 568 00:21:50,728 --> 00:21:51,729 he was bringing up three boys of his own. 569 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:52,938 Right, but... 570 00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:54,065 They were four men living all together, 571 00:21:54,148 --> 00:21:55,149 but they were all alone. 572 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:57,109 That is profoundly sad. 573 00:21:57,193 --> 00:22:00,238 No, the story is that the guy who played the dad 574 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,532 hated being on The Brady Bunch because he was a real actor, 575 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,284 and he considered it beneath him. 576 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,702 Sound familiar? 577 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:08,579 That's not all that was beneath him. 578 00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:10,873 Gay joke. Sorry, I'm better than that. 579 00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:12,708 Most people don't even get to do 580 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:14,252 The Brady Bunch version 581 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,878 of the thing they want to do with their lives. 582 00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:18,172 You're actually in a really good position now, 583 00:22:18,256 --> 00:22:20,132 because you can pretty much do anything you want. 584 00:22:20,216 --> 00:22:21,926 You're responsible for your own happiness, you know? 585 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,136 - Good Lord, that's depressing. - No, it's not. 586 00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:25,846 I'm responsible for my own happiness? 587 00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:28,015 I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast. 588 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,858 Todd! 589 00:22:37,942 --> 00:22:39,110 I need help. 590 00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:41,779 What would make you happy? 591 00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:43,614 Well, finishing my memoir, I guess. 592 00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,657 Is that all? I can help you with that. 593 00:22:45,741 --> 00:22:47,910 Yeah? I mean, would you even want to? 594 00:22:47,993 --> 00:22:49,494 You'd have to spend a lot of time with me. 595 00:22:49,578 --> 00:22:50,913 You'd probably get sick of me. 596 00:22:50,996 --> 00:22:52,456 I don't think that's going to happen. 597 00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,458 - No? - No, BoJack. 598 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,085 Okay. 599 00:22:56,168 --> 00:22:57,920 Well, then I guess you're hired, 600 00:22:58,003 --> 00:23:00,256 but don't put all that stuff about how sad I am in the book. 601 00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:01,548 Oh, that doesn't count. 602 00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:02,716 We weren't on the clock yet. 603 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,176 Yeah, exactly. 604 00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:09,640 You're only my ghostwriter starting nah... 605 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:11,309 - Starting now. - You got it. 606 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,311 - BoJack! - Ugh, this guy. 607 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,187 Hey, man, wanted to let you know, 608 00:23:15,271 --> 00:23:16,772 you are out of beer. 609 00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:18,107 Oh, I see you've met 610 00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:19,733 my beautiful girlfriend, Diane Nguyen. 611 00:23:19,817 --> 00:23:21,235 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. 612 00:23:21,319 --> 00:23:22,486 You drank all my beer? 613 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,529 - Also, you two are dating? - Yeah. 614 00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:26,324 - You're dating him? - Yes. 615 00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:27,491 This is your boyfriend? 616 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,909 - That is correct. - Uh-huh. 617 00:23:28,993 --> 00:23:30,869 - You are going out with you? - Uh-huh. 618 00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:32,579 But in a sexual way, not just as friends? 619 00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:33,998 - That's right. - You have seen her naked. 620 00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:35,291 Many times, yes. 621 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:36,750 - You are attracted to this? - Yes. 622 00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:38,543 This penis has been inside this vagina. 623 00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:39,670 - Yep. - But in a sexual way. 624 00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:42,047 Oh, yes. 625 00:23:42,131 --> 00:23:43,257 Humph. 626 00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:47,303 - Ugh. - Oh, my God. 627 00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,098 Are you okay? 628 00:23:51,182 --> 00:23:52,183 I'm just... 629 00:23:52,266 --> 00:23:55,060 I'm fine. 630 00:23:55,144 --> 00:23:56,770 I'm just... I'm really happy for you. 631 00:23:57,938 --> 00:23:59,648 Should we get someone, or... 632 00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:01,275 No, everything's... 633 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,194 Oh, this is really... 634 00:24:03,277 --> 00:24:04,736 Wonderful. 635 00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:05,904 Oh, God. 636 00:24:08,824 --> 00:24:11,076 Starting now. 637 00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,295 Boxer versus raptor.