1 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:12,550 So, at the end of the day, 2 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,230 I'm just a regular guy trying to live a regular life. 3 00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:18,480 Remember that time you peed in Drew Barrymore's car? 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,520 Uh, yes, I remember that. Why do you remember that? 5 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,020 It was in your book. 6 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:26,030 - You should do that to someone here. - What? No. 7 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,900 Well, anyway, I can't believe I'm on a date with BoJack Horseman. 8 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:33,040 I feel like that anonymous girl from Chapter 8 of your book 9 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,000 mixed with the pluck and determination of that anonymous girl 10 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,130 - from Chapter 12. - We don't need to dwell on the past. 11 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,410 Wait, shut up. Is this the restaurant you bought 12 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,500 when you were trying to show up Mr. Peanutbutter? 13 00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:47,220 - Uh... No. - Hey, this table's a little wobbly. 14 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,310 Want to yell at the waiter and make a scene? 15 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,970 - No, I don't need— - Come on, do that BoJack thing 16 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:54,260 where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, 17 00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,840 but at the same time we relate, 18 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,550 because you're saying the things polite society won't. 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,640 That's not— Ugh... 20 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:03,240 - Is everything all right over here? - No, everything is not all right. 21 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:05,310 This table's been wobbling all evening. 22 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,950 If I wanted to flop around and get seasick for an hour, I'd call your mother. 23 00:01:09,030 --> 00:01:11,910 - Something in that area or...? - Take me home now 24 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:15,360 and don't let me get out of bed until I turn horse-colored. 25 00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:19,070 - What are you doing? - Did you want me to stay? 26 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,990 No, I wanted you to leave more quietly. 27 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,410 Some of us here are trying to forget you exist. 28 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,830 "Forget you exist." Classic BoJack. Love it. 29 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:30,630 Oh, my God, are you Todd? Uh, yes. 30 00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:32,050 "Shut up, Todd!" 31 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,380 Aw, okay. 32 00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,780 Hey, Todd, can you drive me to get my car? 33 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,610 I wanted to be responsible last night, so I Ubered home 34 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,950 - and left my car in the fountain. - Sorry, BoJack. 35 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:46,380 I gotta get ready for my grand opening. It's finally happening. My Disneyland. 36 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:49,720 I realize that by saying "what" I might set off a chain of events 37 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:52,250 whereby we continue this conversation, but what? 38 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,100 Well, remember when I first moved in and I kept asking 39 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,170 - if we could go to Disneyland? - I do not. 40 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,880 And then you said that there was no Disneyland. 41 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:02,720 - No. - That Disneyland was a made-up lie, 42 00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:06,150 like the tooth fairy, that parents use to get their kids to behave. 43 00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,820 - Oh, yeah, that shut you up. - Sure did. 44 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:12,410 But then I thought, why isn't there a Disneyland? 45 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,650 People would love it! 46 00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:15,940 So, I took matters into my own hands, 47 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,700 and over the last five years, I built my own Disneyland. 48 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:23,320 You've been doing this for five years? How have you never mentioned it? 49 00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:27,450 I bought that cheap plot of non-arable dirt by the toxic waste dump 50 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,410 - up the hill from the old fire station. - Okay, Todd. 51 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,540 - I'm gonna build a Disneyland. - Sounds great, champ. 52 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,130 If it wasn't for that, she never would've gotten sober. 53 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:39,800 Just finished drawing up blueprints for that Disneyland I'm building. 54 00:03:39,890 --> 00:03:41,140 Kind of busy here, Todd. 55 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,890 So, it turned out to be a good thing I peed in her car. 56 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,890 Sorry for all the noise. 57 00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:49,820 Got this crew of worker bees to help me build my Disneyland. 58 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,410 Okay, I get it. You are building your own Disneyland. 59 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:57,570 - Literally the first I'm hearing of this. - Anyway, tomorrow we open the gates. 60 00:03:57,650 --> 00:04:02,110 Finally, people will have a place to go after they win the Super Bowl. 61 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,570 But you do know that there already is a Disneyland? 62 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,700 - Yeah, I built it. - No, I mean the real Disneyland. 63 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,790 You mean, the one in the hearts and minds of children everywhere? 64 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:13,670 - The one in Anaheim! - I think we're saying the same thing. 65 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,080 Are we? 66 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,760 Well, I think it's safe to take the cone off. 67 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,180 I can do it for a small co-pay. 68 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:24,640 Can't say I'll miss it, 69 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:29,100 but we did have some crazy adventures together these last few weeks. 70 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:34,190 Honey, would you rub my chin for me so I can remember things? 71 00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,190 Oh, um, okay. Uh... 72 00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:38,830 Yeah, memories. 73 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,070 Hey, where should we go for my first meal after the operation? 74 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,790 It's not an operation, but we could go to Storky's again. 75 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:48,090 Oh, yeah! We're finally due for our free sub. 76 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,540 "Storky's, where your 81st sandwich is free." 77 00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:54,920 We've been there 80 times? It just opened last month. 78 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,710 Yeah, but you love it, so whenever you suggest it, I always say yes. 79 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,390 Yeah, but 80 times? 80 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:05,340 Well, that'll be $6000. 81 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,260 Good thing you're getting a free sandwich, huh? 82 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,270 What the...? 83 00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:15,900 Huh? 84 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:20,320 Okay, you guys. You vultures are killing me! 85 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,940 I'm sure he's talking about other vultures. 86 00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:27,530 Ah, the Valley. 87 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:30,410 Because sometimes you wanna go where no one knows your name. 88 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:34,420 - BoJack Horseman! - Pinky? Hey, how are you? 89 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,300 Oh, great! 90 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,180 - How's the book biz? - Who knows? 91 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:43,220 I jumped off that burning ship. Print media? What a joke. 92 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,470 Now I got a job in broadcast network television, 93 00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:50,890 a booming industry with nowhere to go but up. 94 00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:52,220 Oh, God. 95 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,980 - What are you doing here? - Oh, my boss loves this place. 96 00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:57,140 Do you know Wanda Pierce? 97 00:05:57,230 --> 00:06:00,230 Wanda just got named head of programming at MBN. 98 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,660 We're here to celebrate. 99 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:04,790 Well, that and she just woke up from a 30-year coma. 100 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:07,200 Wait, she just got out of a 30-year coma 101 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,450 and she's the head of programming at a major broadcast network? 102 00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:14,670 She's been with the company 30 years. Everyone above her kept getting fired. 103 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,080 Besides, she's got some really fresh ideas. 104 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:20,050 I am really feeling The Kirk Cameron Show. 105 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,090 I don't even need a pilot. Let's just order 22 episodes. 106 00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:27,590 How about a new show where celebrities try to guess 107 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,350 whether or not people have talent? 108 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,050 We'll air it three nights a week. 109 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:36,270 Okay, what if we got relevant superstar David Copperfield 110 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:39,690 to make the World Trade Center disappear? 111 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,110 I hate to be the one to tell you this, 112 00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:46,530 but David Copperfield really isn't a big draw anymore. 113 00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:49,030 Actually, everything feels fresh 114 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,670 if you just forget the last 30 years ever happened. 115 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:52,880 Huh. 116 00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,660 And here's a special request. 117 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,130 I've never even heard of this song, 118 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:59,090 but let's give it a spin: "Special Feeling." 119 00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:02,750 Wanda, meet the one and only BoJack Horseman. 120 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,300 - Who? - BoJack. 121 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,880 - Who? - BoJack Horseman. 122 00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:08,100 Is that name supposed to mean something to me? 123 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,810 - Do you want to go skate? - Nah. You know what they say, 124 00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:19,690 you can lead a horse to roller, but you can't make him rink. 125 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,900 - What? - That's really funny. 126 00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:25,270 - You're funny. - Really? 127 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,440 Oh, my God. You should be on TV, 128 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,780 which, holy shit, they're flat now. 129 00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:33,420 Actually, I was on. You know what, I'm sick of talking about me. 130 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,670 Let's talk about you. 131 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,920 Next thing I know, I'm waking up from a 30-year coma. 132 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,340 So, now I'm sleeping on my sister's couch, but it's not ideal. 133 00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:50,130 She's molting. You know how sisters are. 134 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,680 Oh, jeez, got a couple curly guys in here with the regulars. 135 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,470 How hard is it to look before they bring it out? 136 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,890 - Excuse me, miss? - I know, isn't it cool? 137 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:01,280 - Like we're getting away with something. - What? 138 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,530 Don't you love it when appetizers have a little crossover episode? 139 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:07,450 It's like when you're watching Happy Days and Mork shows up. 140 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,990 Oh, yeah, I guess. 141 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,150 Or like when Kramer was on Murphy Brown. 142 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,570 - Who? - Hey, you want to get out of here? 143 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:22,430 I don't want MBN to just be another boring old network, you know what I mean? 144 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,500 - Yes, totally. - I want to take risks. 145 00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:28,560 I want to swing for the fences, you know? Otherwise, what are we doing? 146 00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:31,550 Oh, my God, is it morning? We stayed up all night talking, 147 00:08:31,630 --> 00:08:34,760 - and we didn't even have sex. - Well, it's not too late. 148 00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:35,850 Oh! 149 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:43,020 - That was fantastic. - Oh, yes. 150 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:46,200 Of course, I haven't had sex in 30 years. I hope. 151 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,740 - Something's wrong. - What is it? 152 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:51,200 I don't know, I feel weird, like I want to spend more time with you 153 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,070 - even though I know we just had sex. - Oh, okay. 154 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,460 No, you don't understand. 155 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:59,030 We already had sex, but I still want to spend time with you. 156 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,290 Is that normal? Am I normal? What is happening to me? 157 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:05,090 We can spend more time together. 158 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:10,500 I want to do things with you. Fully clothed, sober, in daylight hours. 159 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:12,670 - Okay. - I don't understand these feelings. 160 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,890 Let's get food? Or walk in park? Or— 161 00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:19,640 Oh, God, it's coming. I can't stop it. 162 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,640 - Do you want to go to Disneyland? - Okay. 163 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:37,360 Disneyland has a lot more sparking wires and loose nails than I remember. 164 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:40,240 Please hold your questions until the end of the tour. 165 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:44,200 Here we have Mr. Todd's Wild Death-Coaster. 166 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,580 The name is a work in progress, 167 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:50,000 but we wanted to work "death" into the title for liability reasons. 168 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:55,220 And this is Gabe Jr., the Grease Fire of the Caribbean. 169 00:09:55,300 --> 00:10:00,260 - This is boring. I want to go home. - Vincent, be nice! 170 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,970 He's a little cranky because he just got adult braces. 171 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:07,230 - You mean, braces. - Princess Carolyn, stop embarrassing me! 172 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,150 Ugh. 173 00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:13,940 And here we have Cinderella's magical pile of used mattresses. 174 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,030 Help! 175 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:17,200 Is it a good idea to keep all those mattresses 176 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,450 - so close to an active grease fire? - Where's your sense of wonder, Diane? 177 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:25,330 - Your friend is really negative. - Yeah, don't be so negative, Diane. 178 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,220 - What? - You know I hate negativity. 179 00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:30,920 I mean, I don't hate it because that's also negative, but you know. 180 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:39,300 - Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter. - Hey, buddy. This place is amazing. 181 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:42,510 It's like some sort of Disney version of Knott's Berry Farm. 182 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,970 Oh, that's exactly what I was going for! 183 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,600 I can't wait to get involved 184 00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:49,860 and really spray the old Mr. Peanutbutter scent on everything. 185 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:55,150 Uh, I was sort of thinking of this as kind of just my thing. 186 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,580 Well, technically, you did build this while working for P.B. Livin, 187 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,040 so I have the blah-blah-blah of first refusal or whatever. 188 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,740 Oh, uh, okay. 189 00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:06,660 I mean, that's just good business. 190 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:10,210 We're in this together now, Todd, and nothing will distract me from— 191 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:14,000 Erica! You can't be here. This place is filled with children. 192 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,130 Coach said he saw you headed to the visitor's locker room 193 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,470 with a steel pipe. 194 00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:23,350 You really think I'm the guy who busted that pinto's leg? 195 00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:27,140 'Cause if I am, you should be a lot more goddamn scared of me. 196 00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:31,660 Hey! My girlfriend's here. Look, everyone! I have a girlfriend! 197 00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:33,110 Sure. We'll cut there. 198 00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,690 The middle of your line is as good a place as any. 199 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,080 - What are you doing here? - Just wanted to stop by. 200 00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:41,070 We're filming Hey, I Think You Can Dance! next door. 201 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,290 Look at you, all professional. 202 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,410 Like Natalie Portman in that movie where she was a professional. 203 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,750 Who? People are watching. 204 00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:49,660 Ugh. 205 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,080 The first time BoJack dates a woman his own age, 206 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,290 she's basically just a stunted 20-year-old. 207 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,090 Well, BoJack's stunted, too. He got famous in his twenties, 208 00:11:57,170 --> 00:11:58,800 so he'll be in his twenties forever. 209 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,430 After you get famous, you stop growing, you don't have to. 210 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,970 Every celebrity has an age of stagnation. 211 00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,610 I'm glad I never got famous. 212 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,770 I mean, I did write a best-selling book, but I'm not famous-famous. 213 00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:10,810 It doesn't just happen when you get famous. 214 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,110 Your age of stagnation is when you stop growing. 215 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,940 For most, it's when they get married, settle into a routine. 216 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,240 You meet someone who loves you unconditionally 217 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,030 and never challenges you or wants you to change, 218 00:12:21,110 --> 00:12:23,030 and then you never change. 219 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,380 But mostly it's just the famous people, right? 220 00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:32,790 Stella! Stella! 221 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,300 Corona Light. 222 00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:36,430 This place is incredible. 223 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:38,640 I wanted to make you feel at home, 224 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,060 and nothing was bigger in the '80s than '50s nostalgia. 225 00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:46,230 It really feels like I'm back in the '80s, feeling like I'm back in the '50s. 226 00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:49,570 It's like if Back to the Future and Peggy Sue Got Married got married. 227 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,430 Okay, teenyboppers, 228 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,600 let's take things back to the '50s, '50s style, 229 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:58,730 with this classic '50s hit that everybody remembers: 230 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,900 "I Just Met My Perfect Match." 231 00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:12,370 Wanda, these last few days have been so amazing. 232 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,460 You've given me a fresh start. 233 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:17,880 In fact, it almost feels like I just woke up from a 30-year coma. 234 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,920 I'm sorry, did you say you just woke up from a 30-year coma? 235 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,430 - Oh, no, not me. Her. - That's insane. 236 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:25,260 I just woke up from a 30-year coma. 237 00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:28,850 Whoa! Sorry about that needle skip, folks. 238 00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:32,430 Let's start that song again from the beginning. 239 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,690 I'm Alex. 240 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,580 - Wanda. - And I'm BoJack. 241 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,030 It's been really tough for me these last few weeks. 242 00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:48,870 I've never seen Home Alone and everyone makes me feel like a freak because of it. 243 00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:51,490 - You've never seen Home Alone? - I've never seen it! 244 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,790 - Also, I don't really know what a DVR is. - Neither do I! 245 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:59,090 - No one does. It's just a magic box. - Wanda, we have so much in common. 246 00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:00,590 Really it's just one thing. 247 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,800 You can't count each individual thing as a different thing. 248 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,470 That's like saying I have a lot in common with Kanye West 249 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:07,930 because we both breathe air. 250 00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:10,470 Who? Jinx. Buy me a Coke Zero. 251 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,690 What's a Coke Zero? I have no idea. 252 00:14:13,890 --> 00:14:17,190 We gotta hang out more. I didn't know there was anyone else like me. 253 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:20,360 Give me your fax and pager number so I can add them to my Rolodex. 254 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,650 Tubular. 255 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,210 I don't trust that guy. I bet he's seen Home Alone. 256 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,160 BoJack, I'm starting to lose the thread of your character. 257 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,950 You think you can drop the jealous boyfriend routine? It feels a little done. 258 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,460 You're right, I'm sorry. Call me Snoop Dogg 259 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,670 - because I will drop it like it's hot. - BoJack, I don't— 260 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:43,670 I got that one! Snoopy the dog. From "Peanuts." Okay. 261 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,440 I got here as fast as I could. 262 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:54,060 Where's this next Haley Joel Osment? 263 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,390 - That was a lie to get you here. - Aw, fish. 264 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,690 - There's never a next Haley Joel Osment. - And there never will be. 265 00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:02,610 Sorry I tricked you, but with Todd running his own Disneyland 266 00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,610 and actress Margo Martindale in prison 267 00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:07,780 for some reason I don't remember, you're the best friend I've got. 268 00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:11,110 Now grab the binoculars. I need dirt on Wanda's new gentleman friend. 269 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,200 No, BoJack. What's the play here? 270 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:15,590 You'll find one little imperfection and harp on it 271 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,040 like you do with my boyfriend? 272 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,970 You do understand what my "thing" is with your boyfriend? 273 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,500 You'll just push her into this other guy's arms. 274 00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:25,430 Wanda likes you. Why ruin that? 275 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:30,550 This is Comrade Alexander calling KGB High Command. 276 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,860 It's been two weeks since I woke up, 277 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:35,350 and I still have not been contacted by my handlers. 278 00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:38,730 I am awaiting orders to take down the American dogs and pigs 279 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:42,060 and other various animals and humans. Come in, KGB High Command. 280 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:46,190 Slap my salami, the guy's a commie. 281 00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:52,870 Hey, what's going on here? 282 00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:56,200 You've been served with a cease-and-desist from my clients, 283 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,840 the Walt Disney Company. 284 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,090 I wanted to make sure what we were doing here was 100 percent legal, 285 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,050 - so I called a lawyer. - Wait, what? 286 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,600 As it turns out, it's not legal at all. Who knew? 287 00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:10,260 - Mr. Peanutbutter. - We'll see you in court. 288 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:13,840 - The food court? - No. Regular court. 289 00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:18,970 Okay. But also I'm hungry, so I might just stop by the food court first. 290 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,900 Let the record show, this is the single dumbest case I've ever adjudicated. 291 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:28,020 - Mr. Chavez? - Okay. 292 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,820 I'm just gonna throw this out there. 293 00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:34,290 Is it possible maybe when the other guys tried to copyright the name Disneyland, 294 00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:36,670 they wrote down something else by mistake, 295 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,000 so "Disneyland" is still up for grabs? 296 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,710 Okay, well, let's have a look at the Articles of Incorporation to see 297 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:49,560 if Walt Disney accidentally trademarked the wrong name. I'm sure these— 298 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,630 - What? - There's a typo. Di-isneyland. 299 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:59,140 With two "I's. That son of a gun trademarked the wrong name. 300 00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,320 May I, counselor? 301 00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:04,900 D-I-I-S. This is unambiguous. 302 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:08,610 - I find in favor of the defendant. - Aw, shit. 303 00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:11,190 - You're the defendant. - Aw, sweet! 304 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,990 Your Otter, this is a gross miscarriage of justice. 305 00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:17,910 Hooray! Gross miscarriage! 306 00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:27,130 And that's how I turned my dream into what I call "The Happiest Place On Urf." 307 00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:30,630 Urf is a made-up magical kingdom I added to the Disney canon. 308 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,270 - Americans, they like this theme park? - Oh, they love it. 309 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,470 It represents everything America stands for. 310 00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,840 Da. 311 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:40,430 - I mean, yeah. - We did it, buddy! 312 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,610 Actually, I did it. 313 00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:49,030 I had the idea to build a park, I did all the work and I beat the lawsuit. 314 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:54,400 - Well, there's no "I" in "team," right? - But there is an "I" in "Disneyland." 315 00:17:54,490 --> 00:18:00,330 And unlike that other Disneyland, this Disneyland only has one "I". 316 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,660 What are you saying? 317 00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:04,510 You're not welcome at my theme park anymore. 318 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:09,540 There's only room for one goofy dog there and his name is Pluto. 319 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,920 Todd, no. 320 00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:14,850 I've told the bees if they see you to sting you on sight. 321 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:19,600 You understand. It's nothing personal. It's just good business. 322 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,060 And that's how we do business on Urf. 323 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:26,390 - I don't like you like this. - I learned it from you. 324 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,600 If I could get everyone's attention. 325 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,770 You're probably wondering why I invited you all here tonight. 326 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,360 You said it was to celebrate Todd's legal victory. 327 00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,500 Right, but obviously, I don't care about that, 328 00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:38,610 so you're probably wondering the real reason. 329 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,240 No, we just took you at face value. 330 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,340 We have a special guest here tonight. 331 00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:46,660 Alex. Or should I say "comrade"? 332 00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:52,290 - Why would you say "comrade"? - Oh, I forgot to explain that part. 333 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,960 Alex is a KGB agent bent on destroying America. 334 00:18:57,130 --> 00:19:00,800 - It truly is a small world after all! - Alex, is that true? 335 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,600 Okay, yes. It's true. 336 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,020 I was a deep-cover KGB operative before I went into my coma. 337 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,600 I've been trying to contact my handler in Russia, 338 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,520 but I can't reach him and I don't know if I ever will. 339 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,650 Aww! 340 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:16,200 No! He's— It's not adorable! 341 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,200 He's a soviet sleeper-agent who doesn't realize the Cold War is over. 342 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,950 I felt totally alone in this world before I met Wanda. 343 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,750 And then I met all of you, my friends. 344 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,500 But if you're gonna kick me to the curb 345 00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:30,000 just because I think you're all capitalist swine 346 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:33,390 and want to see your way of life destroyed, well, so be it. 347 00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:38,170 - Or should I say, So-vi-et. - Oh! Cute. Wordplay. 348 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,680 - That's not even good wordplay. - Wait, how did you know all this? 349 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,760 - BoJack, were you spying on him? - He is literally a spy 350 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:48,600 trying to destroy America, the country we all live in. 351 00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,900 How am I the bad guy here? 352 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:54,060 BoJack, I am really bumping on the whole you-not-liking-Alex of it all. 353 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:56,650 - You told me you were going to drop it. - Yeah, but— 354 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:58,330 I don't care about Alex. 355 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,570 I want to know what happened to the amazing guy 356 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:03,960 I spent the last few days with, because if this is who you are, 357 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,500 I don't think I like it. 358 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,870 Alex, would you take me back to my sister's place? 359 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,760 Sure thing, Wanda. And I can get you there fast 360 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,380 because I'm always Russian. 361 00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,540 Aww! 362 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:14,750 Seriously? 363 00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:23,270 I got here as fast as I could. Where's the next Dakota Fa—? 364 00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:24,980 Oh, I get what happened. 365 00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:28,150 Could you get me a beer from the fridge? I didn't want to stand up. 366 00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:30,440 Wait, no. I don't deserve beer. 367 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,310 You called me all the way over here to not get you a beer? 368 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,740 Why do I always do this? I push away everyone I care about. 369 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,900 Oh, do you? I never noticed that. 370 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:41,790 Look, you obviously really care about this girl 371 00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:44,450 and that scares you, so you sabotage yourself. 372 00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:47,410 That's my problem. I'm too good at sabotage. 373 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:51,380 - Why am I so good at everything I do? - Hey, I got a crazy idea. 374 00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:54,680 How about you just stop sulking and go win her back, dummy? 375 00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:58,670 You're right. I gotta win her back, put it all on the line. You know what? 376 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,310 I think I will have that beer, can you get it for me? 377 00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:05,100 - Why do I bother? - Hey, grab a beer for yourself, too! 378 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:06,800 Actually, I want both beers! 379 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,030 - Wanda. - What do you want, BoJack? 380 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,070 There's something I gotta say. When I was— 381 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:21,780 - Todd! There's something I gotta say! - Hey, I'm kind of already doing— 382 00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:24,530 I never should have tried to make your thing my thing! 383 00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:28,630 I just got excited and wanted to smear Mr. Peanutbutter all over everything. 384 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:32,160 I should have been supporting you, like this support beam. 385 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,960 - Or a different support beam. - It's my fault. 386 00:21:38,050 --> 00:21:41,680 The point of Disneyland isn't to make money and win lawsuits. 387 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:42,970 But I forgot that. 388 00:21:43,090 --> 00:21:47,090 So, these two were so consumed by greed that it destroyed them. 389 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,600 You know, I came here today to blow up Disneyland. 390 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,350 - You what? - But now I realize, 391 00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:53,350 I don't need to take down capitalism. 392 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,280 Capitalism sows the seeds for its own destruction. 393 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:59,530 It's a snake that eats itself. It's only a matter of time. 394 00:22:01,190 --> 00:22:03,240 Hey, buddy, let's just say we— Oh! 395 00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:07,120 Oh, no, no, no. No! 396 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,820 Gabe Jr.! 397 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,780 Quick, Todd! The mattress pile! 398 00:22:10,870 --> 00:22:13,950 Jump to safety! No! 399 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,920 Bees, help! Your queen commands you! 400 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,260 No! Bees! Come on! 401 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,930 - You gotta— Over the— - What is it, boy? What's wrong? 402 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:33,970 - Hey, there's trouble. - Did some kid fall down a well? 403 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:35,390 No, no, no! Listen. 404 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,650 He's trying to tell us a kid fell down a well. 405 00:22:37,730 --> 00:22:40,770 - Let's go, go, go! Come on! - Bad, bad, bad. You gotta— 406 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,280 No, no, no, listen! 407 00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,370 Wait, Wanda, we need to talk. 408 00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,580 - But the fire. - I don't care about that. 409 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:51,710 Look, the great guy you've been getting to know, that's me. 410 00:22:51,790 --> 00:22:53,630 That other guy, the guy from the party, 411 00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:57,750 that's me too and you need to know that. I'm not perfect. 412 00:22:57,830 --> 00:23:01,500 I'm cynical and I'm possessive and I can sometimes fly off the handle. 413 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:04,920 I'm not always the best at being not terrible. 414 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:07,310 I gotta say, I'm not loving this pitch so far. 415 00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,970 But I want to be better, I'm trying to be better. 416 00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:12,640 And when I'm around you, for the first time in 30 years, 417 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,220 I feel like I can be. 418 00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:16,600 Wanda, you make me want to be a better man. 419 00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:18,780 Wow. That's a great line. 420 00:23:18,850 --> 00:23:21,520 - Did you just come up with that? - Yes. 421 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:25,120 Hey, boys and girls, this is your park DJ speaking. 422 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:28,110 And as the Titanic's band played on as the ship sank, 423 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:33,340 so too will I spin one last record as my DJ booth is engulfed in flames. 424 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,270 Hooray! 425 00:24:04,030 --> 00:24:05,530 Mr. Peanutbutter. 426 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,230 - You saved me! - No. 427 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,240 I saved us. 428 00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:13,240 Woo-hoo! 429 00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:16,210 - I want to give this a real shot. - I don't know, BoJack. 430 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:19,170 I just got out of my coma, and I don't have time to waste 431 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:21,250 if you're still figuring your shit out. 432 00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:24,210 Plus, it's hard to think straight with this fire everywhere. 433 00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:26,140 - Move in with me. - What? 434 00:24:26,210 --> 00:24:28,420 I know it feels fast. We barely know each other. 435 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:31,100 It's crazy, but I like you. 436 00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:34,310 And sometimes you gotta swing for the fences, right? 437 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,350 - Okay. - Yeah? 438 00:24:36,430 --> 00:24:39,430 Yeah. Let's move in together. Let's do it. 439 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,230 It's crazy, but let's do it! 440 00:25:29,990 --> 00:25:33,870 Boxer versus raptor. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!