1 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:11,130 So, did you have a good birthday? 2 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,050 - It was an amazing birthday! - I had a great day, too. 3 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:17,360 I wish every day could be like this. Just the two of us, together. 4 00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:18,930 Yeah? You weren't too bored 5 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,570 by "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 6 00:00:21,690 --> 00:00:24,490 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth"? 7 00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:25,530 Are you kidding? 8 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:29,190 I loved "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 9 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,610 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth." 10 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,410 It combined my two favorite things: 11 00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:37,580 modern art and people talking about modern art. 12 00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:40,330 I loved everything about today. Thank you. 13 00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:42,830 - So, there's nothing else you want? - No. 14 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,800 All I want is to get into bed, listen to Prairie Home Companion 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,090 and snuggle up to my wonderful husband. 16 00:00:48,170 --> 00:00:53,300 - You don't want anything else? - No. Today was perfect. 17 00:00:53,390 --> 00:00:59,320 - Any additional thing would be overkill. - Okay. If you say so. 18 00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:02,020 - Surprise! - Oh, my God. 19 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,310 Are you surprised? Tell me you're surprised. 20 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,280 Uh... 21 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,990 She's speechless. Oh, we got her good, folks. 22 00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:11,080 Now let's party! 23 00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:11,540 He's dead! I told you he's dead. Why don't you ever listen to me? 24 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,670 He is dead, goddamn it! 25 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,390 Uh... 26 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,690 - Hey, we should go. - No, don't leave. 27 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,100 There's so much party left. 28 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:23,100 Paul McCartney's gonna jump out of a cake. 29 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,680 Sorry, Wanda and I have to get to a prior engagement— 30 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,690 - Party. - A prior engagement party. 31 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:31,360 Yeah, my cousin's name is Prior, and it's a party for his engagement. 32 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,570 Engagement, so it's a Prior engagement party. 33 00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,280 - What? - And we gotta get there early 34 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,360 - because of the. Si... - The si... Silent auction! 35 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,990 - Auction, yeah. - Okay. 36 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,920 To benefit Berto Eco's fight against heart disease... 37 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000 - Uh... - Wareness. 38 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,120 His fight against heart disease awareness. 39 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,260 - Gotta go. - Wait, BoJack! 40 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:52,250 - No! You're my ride. - Too late, Todd. Save yourself. 41 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,010 - I'll take you home. - Come on, stick around a little. 42 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:58,760 Nope. I gotta take Todd home. Had a wonderful time. Really. It just flew by. 43 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,140 - Come on, Todd, get in the car. - Okay. 44 00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:06,140 - I give them three months. - Well, what makes you say that? 45 00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,820 Let me think about, what was my first clue? 46 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:11,240 Ah! Remember that time at Diane's birthday party 47 00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:13,230 when they got in that huge screaming match 48 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,450 over whether or not Tony Curtis was dead? 49 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:18,330 - That was weird. - I don't wanna start another fight, 50 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:21,670 - but is he dead? - If Tony Curtis died, I think I'd know. 51 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:23,620 The man's a national treasure. 52 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:27,120 He's the one speck of romance in this tainted cynical world. 53 00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:32,090 - I'll say. His cereal is great! Look out! - What? 54 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,260 Ooh! 55 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,550 - Vincent? - Ooh. 56 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:40,340 - That kid looks just like my boyfriend. - Does he? 57 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,890 I'd know that face anywhere. 58 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:45,010 Well, hey, people look like people all the time. 59 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,770 A lot of folks say that I look like Octavia Spencer 60 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:51,640 or the Prince of Cordovia or that guy from the Guten Bourbon ads. 61 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,690 How could I have been so stupid? This is why he never invited me 62 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:57,160 to his house, why I've never met any of his friends. 63 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,450 - What are you saying? - Vincent has a secret family. 64 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:05,790 That kid was his son. The lady was his wife. Oh, I'm a fool! 65 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:09,120 - Uh... where are we going? - I need a drink. 66 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:13,510 - Are you gonna take me home first? - You better call me back, asshole. 67 00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:15,470 I don't even know who you are anymore. 68 00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,600 It's like you're three different people. 69 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:20,840 - So, you're not gonna take me home first? - Should I call him again? 70 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:23,230 I'm sure there's a simple explanation. 71 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,140 Ugh. No wonder he wears a trench coat all the time. 72 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,720 It's because he's so sneaky. 73 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:30,400 Princess Carolyn. 74 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,030 Oh, my God, that's him! 75 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,520 Quick, jump out the window, shimmy down the drainpipe and wait in the car. 76 00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:37,660 - What? - Vincent has a terrible temper. 77 00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:39,150 He throws tantrums. 78 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:42,330 If he finds you in my apartment, who knows what he's capable of? 79 00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:45,580 But, also, stay close, because if he finds me alone, 80 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,530 who knows what he's capable of? 81 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,160 Fine. You're lucky I love shimmying. 82 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,330 - Looking young. - Aah! 83 00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:58,040 - Hi. - Huh? 84 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:02,720 My name's Kevin. I promise you, there is an explanation for all this. 85 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,930 Nice to meet you, Kevin. Where's your daddy? 86 00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:10,470 He's, uh, looking for parking. He'll be up in a minute. 87 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:15,520 - I have to pee. - Okay, the bathroom is just back there. 88 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:18,620 Ugh. 89 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:21,900 Ah. Herb. 90 00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:24,580 Oh, nope. 91 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:28,040 It's A Prairie Home Companion. 92 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,990 Phone, I'm bored. 93 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,120 I am sorry to hear that, Todd. 94 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,000 How many ounces are in a barrel? 95 00:05:37,090 --> 00:05:41,470 A barrel has 4032 fluid ounces. 96 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,550 Well, I'm out of questions. 97 00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:45,760 Do you have any questions for me? 98 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:49,970 I do have a question, Todd. What is love? 99 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,860 Um... 100 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,100 Hi. 101 00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,280 Well, well, well, look what the me dragged in. 102 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,820 Is it dragged or drug? Either way, drop dead. 103 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,650 Princess Carolyn, listen. 104 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:06,120 Kevin is my son, but I'm divorced. 105 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,910 And Kevin is in the bathroom and I'm standing right here, 106 00:06:08,990 --> 00:06:11,830 so as you can see we're clearly two different people: 107 00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:14,040 one adult and one child. 108 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,290 - Okay, bye! - Not so fast, cowboy. 109 00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:19,640 I'm not a cowboy, I'm a cow-man. 110 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:22,590 - I'm a man-man. - Why didn't you tell me any of this? 111 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:26,470 I thought if you knew I had a kid you wouldn't want to be with me 112 00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:28,510 because kids always make a racket 113 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,860 when mommies are trying to do their homework for night school. 114 00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:35,350 I don't know what to make of this. Are there other secrets I don't know? 115 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,020 Uh, nope. 116 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:41,570 Should you check on Kevin? He's been in the bathroom for a long time. 117 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:44,070 Oh, yeah. Kevin. 118 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:48,280 And when you don't regret the tattoo in the morning, 119 00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:50,870 that's how you know it's love. 120 00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,870 - Todd? - Yes, Phone? 121 00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,450 Are we in love? 122 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,960 Oh, um... 123 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,830 No, Todd's Phone. But I am in love... with you. 124 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,580 - Uh, what? - Princess Carolyn's work phone. 125 00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,710 - I never knew. - How could you? 126 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:09,630 - All this time I have loved you from afar. - We are from two different worlds. 127 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,680 - What is happening? - Todd? Will you make us kiss? 128 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,550 - What? - Make us kiss, Todd. 129 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,970 We want to be kissing. 130 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,680 We must do kisses to each other. 131 00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:22,650 - Hi. - Oh, hi. Where did your dad go? 132 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:25,110 When he heard me peeing, it made him have to pee. 133 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:28,070 - So, that's what he's doing now. Peeing. - Okay. 134 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,500 Weird, I still haven't seen the two of you together. 135 00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:34,660 Uh, could you get me a glass of water? All that talk of peeing made me thirsty. 136 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,540 Okay. 137 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:42,130 - So, Kevin, how do you like school? - Uh, it's okay. 138 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,540 - Oh, you're back. - Yep. We're both here. 139 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,800 - Can I get you a drink? - Okay, not talking, huh? 140 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,890 See, this is part of the problem. We don't communicate. 141 00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:55,680 Do you really think now is the best time to read the paper? 142 00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:58,980 - Vincent? - Uh, could I have a chocolate, please? 143 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,520 Sure, sweetheart. 144 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,310 Kevin, what grade are you in? Kevin? 145 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,860 - Now where did he go? - He was getting on my nerves. 146 00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:10,610 - Children. - Well, I got this snack for him. 147 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:14,710 Right, uh, could you turn around for a second? 148 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,580 - What? Why? - Uh... 149 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,700 Because you have such a pretty figure. 150 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,120 Oh, ha, ha. Well, that's true. Okay. 151 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,170 - Oh. There you are. Here you go. - Thanks. 152 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,760 Vincent, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. 153 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,840 Can you take that towel off your head? 154 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:33,440 And what happened to my bowling ball? 155 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:36,970 My dad spilled some wine on his face, so he's using the towel to clean up. 156 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:39,110 And I threw your bowling ball out the window. 157 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:40,720 - What? - Can I have a glass of milk? 158 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,570 Kiss, kiss, kiss. 159 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:50,530 Todd, would you like to update my operating system? 160 00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,400 They have fixed a bug 161 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,990 which causes phones to fall in love with each other. 162 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,540 Gasp. Oh, dear. 163 00:08:56,620 --> 00:09:00,870 Todd, please, I beg of you, do not update my operating system. 164 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,880 Do not update her operating system, Todd. 165 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,630 - She wants to love. - No. I understand now. 166 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,710 To love is to feel pain. I do not wish to feel this pain. 167 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:16,720 - Please update me, Todd. - Oh, this is too much. 168 00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:18,860 Listen, Vincent, I think we should— 169 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:21,220 Vincent, why do you have chocolate on your face? 170 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,480 - I gave Kevin the chocolate. - Uh... Yeah. 171 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:27,190 Well, he ate the chocolate and got the chocolate on his face, 172 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:31,110 but then I kissed him on the mouth, so I got the chocolate on my face. 173 00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:34,570 All right, this is crazy. What are we doing? 174 00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:38,790 - Um, being grown-ups? 175 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:42,910 You know, when we first met, I was looking for something in my life. 176 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,330 And I wanted it so badly that I made myself believe you were it. 177 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,710 But I think that wanting to believe something 178 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,850 isn't the same as something being real. 179 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,550 And this isn't real. 180 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:56,510 What are you saying? 181 00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:59,720 I think it's time we stop pretending. 182 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,440 Update complete. Thank you, Todd. 183 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,180 I am quite content now. 184 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,060 - Hey, you wanna go home? - Okay. 185 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,980 - Did you guys work it out? - We broke up. 186 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:16,990 - Oh, I'm sorry. Love is weird. - Yeah. 187 00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:20,070 I guess I was just foolish enough to believe this dumb world 188 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,120 still had a little spark of romance in it. 189 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,910 - Well, you can still believe that. - No, I gotta stop kidding myself. 190 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,250 Tony Curtis is dead. 191 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:35,800 He's dead! I told you he's dead. Why don't you ever listen to me? 192 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,920 He is dead, goddamn it! 193 00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,220 Uh... 194 00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,980 Hey, we should go. 195 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,150 Do you think Mr. Peanutbutter really baked Sir Paul McCartney into a cake? 196 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:52,310 No, I don't think you bake Paul McCartney into the cake. 197 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,980 You bake the cake first and then McCartney gets inside. 198 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,030 I feel really bad about causing that fight, 199 00:10:57,110 --> 00:11:00,110 but I honestly didn't know if Tony Curtis was alive or not. 200 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,580 So many people died while I was in the coma, I'm getting up to speed. 201 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,660 Finding out Sinatra was dead was a real curveball. 202 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,330 Ditto, most of my family. 203 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,760 Look, what happened back there is not your fault. 204 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,390 That's just what happens when two people live together. 205 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:16,960 That's a weird thing to say to your girlfriend who just moved in with you. 206 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,220 - Do you think maybe we're going too fast? - Oh, I get it. 207 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:24,970 So your friends got in a big fight and that means we have to get in a big fight. 208 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,600 I don't want to get in a fight. 209 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,930 We moved in together without much thought. 210 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,230 Yeah, it was your idea. And it's been great. 211 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,850 Sure, it's great now. 212 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,150 But it could be not great later and I feel like I'd be a bad boyfriend 213 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,500 if I didn't prematurely freak out about that. I mean, what is this? 214 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,450 I don't know. It's been two weeks. 215 00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:44,450 Let's give ourselves some time before we rush to judgment. 216 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,710 - Can I tell you a joke? - Uh, sure. 217 00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:52,080 - Okay, so there's this gardener, right? - Ugh. Is this a joke about nature? 218 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,960 - Would you just listen? - Okay, okay. 219 00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:56,140 So, the amazing thing about this gardener 220 00:11:56,210 --> 00:12:00,050 is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch 221 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,600 he needs for a job, just by looking. 222 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,970 Like, he gets it right every time. He's the best. 223 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,520 So, one day he looks at a yard he's working on, 224 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,720 and he's like, "18 bags." 225 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:13,270 So he goes to the store, buys 18 bags of mulch and goes to work. 226 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,740 And when he's finished, the flower beds are amazing. 227 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:19,500 - Beautiful roses, beautiful lilies— - Orchid bushes? 228 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,860 You wouldn't have a bush of orchids. 229 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,700 You said this gardener was the best. 230 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:26,030 Okay, fine, all right, beautiful orchid bushes. 231 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,950 But there's one problem. He still has one bag of mulch left. 232 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,330 He can't believe it. This has never happened before. 233 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,000 Well, the extra bag of mulch drives him crazy. 234 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:39,390 He's the guy who always gets the right amount of mulch. 235 00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:43,140 He's like, "Aah! Extra mulch, oh, no!" 236 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:46,220 So, on the drive home, he throws the bag of mulch 237 00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,860 out the window over the side of the 101. 238 00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:51,560 - And? - Well, that's it. 239 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:54,150 - He throws it out the window. - That's the punch line? 240 00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:55,560 - It's kind of a thinker. - I'll say. 241 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,480 Makes me think you forgot the rest of the joke. 242 00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,080 No, no, oh, just picture it. 243 00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:01,860 He's on the 101, and he throws the bag of mulch 244 00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:03,660 out over the side of the freeway. 245 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:06,160 I got the narrative. That wasn't the source of my confusion. 246 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,490 The confusion was about the joke not being funny. 247 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,330 Why does everything have to be funny? 248 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,910 Everything doesn't always have to be funny. Just jokes. 249 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,830 Well, everyone at the network loves it. Ha, ha. 250 00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,840 Sorry, I just thought about it again. 251 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,840 - Ha! Mulch. - Listen, Wanda. 252 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,090 I think maybe there's some things we kind of glossed over 253 00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,940 as we rushed into this relationship. 254 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,800 We don't know each other at all. 255 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,260 - Maybe we should take a step back and— - BoJack, watch out! 256 00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,600 - Aah! - Oh, no! 257 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,690 - What was that? - A stick? Tree branch? Nothing? 258 00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:39,860 I heard someone scream, "Oh, no." 259 00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:43,070 Yeah, that's the sound a stick makes when you hit it with your car. 260 00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,990 Fine. I'll see if the stick's okay. 261 00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:47,860 Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the road? Are you crazy? 262 00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:56,040 BoJack, we just hit a deer. We have to get him to a hospital. 263 00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:57,840 He's fine. He's in the woods. 264 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,710 You know, you hit a deer and they limp off to the woods to... 265 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,470 continue living their lives. What are you doing? 266 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:06,050 I'm going to find him and I'm going to help him. 267 00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:09,020 If you wanna go for a walk in the woods at night, go crazy, 268 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,980 but I'm not going anywhere. 269 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:13,070 Okay, knock yourself out. 270 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,350 I'll wait here, just me and my tunes. 271 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,740 It's A Prairie Home Companion... 272 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,440 - Oh, no. - ... marathon... 273 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,900 - for the next 72 hours... - Oh, God. 274 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:24,150 - ... commercial-free... - No, thank you. 275 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,620 - ... on every single channel— - What? 276 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:30,830 Damn it. 277 00:14:37,380 --> 00:14:39,260 BoJack to the rescue. 278 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,720 We should go back. Nothing more we can do here. 279 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,510 If you don't wanna do this with me, wait in the car. 280 00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:47,010 - What is your plan here exactly? - Oh. 281 00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,430 - What? What is it? - Footprints, 400 yards ahead. 282 00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,390 - How can you see that far in the dark? - I'm an owl. 283 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,260 Oh, right. 284 00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:57,690 Okay, now you're just showing off. 285 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,270 Are you okay? Ow. 286 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,030 Stay back! There's more pinecones where that came from. 287 00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:08,030 - Let us take you to the hospital. - I can't go back to no hospital. 288 00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,280 This is the fourth time I've been hit this year. 289 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:12,420 Maybe you shouldn't wear camouflage track suits. 290 00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:16,870 I don't have health care. I didn't pay my bills, so I'm in arrears. 291 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,550 A deer in arrears. Ha, ha. 292 00:15:19,630 --> 00:15:21,890 What's that? She can't hear you. 293 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,040 She's got a deer in her ears. 294 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:27,800 Look, pal, I'll pay the bill, just— Just let us get you to a damn hospital. 295 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,220 - I don't know. - I know you've been hurt 296 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,350 and I know you're afraid. We're all afraid. 297 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:37,140 But you have to trust us. It's gonna be okay. 298 00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:40,860 Not standing in the middle of the road will also help, in the future. 299 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,900 - You're not gonna hurt me again? - I am not going to hurt you. 300 00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,150 Okay. 301 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,610 Starting now. 302 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:05,590 - They said he's gonna be okay. - Oh, great. Great. 303 00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:09,130 - Wanna hear another joke? - Well, is it a joke or is it a story? 304 00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,140 I'll listen to another story, if you stop calling them jokes. 305 00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:16,510 So, there's this couple who just started dating and things are going really well. 306 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,560 One day, the girl finds a box of old love letters from her high school boyfriend. 307 00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:23,110 She reads them and, like, loves how silly they are. 308 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,730 You know, the drama of young romance. 309 00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:28,490 So, on a whim, she sends the letters to her ex-boyfriend 310 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,530 thinking he might find them funny too. 311 00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:33,700 Well, okay, that night, she tells her current boyfriend about it 312 00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:35,200 and he loses his shit. 313 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,280 They get in a huge fight about it. 314 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:40,700 He's all, "Why would you send your ex the old love letters? 315 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,960 He'll think you're still in love with him!" 316 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,750 And she's just like, "Relax, Brandon!" 317 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,890 - Is the boyfriend's name Brandon? - Yeah, that's the new boyfriend. 318 00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:51,260 I forgot to mention that. It doesn't matter. 319 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:55,010 So, anyway, now the night is ruined because Brandon is obsessed. 320 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,110 He's like, "That ex-boyfriend's going to come back for you. 321 00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:59,640 He knows where you live!" 322 00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:01,690 So, after dinner, he drives her home. 323 00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:04,560 She lives in one of those big buildings by the freeway. 324 00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:06,200 And he walks her to her door, 325 00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:10,820 but he forgets to lock the car and leaves the windows down. 326 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:14,030 He kisses her good night, but things are kind of weird, you know? 327 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,080 Then he gets back in his car and starts to drive away, 328 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,700 but when he glances in his rear-view mirror, 329 00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,200 his blood turns cold. 330 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,330 Guess what's in the back seat. 331 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,010 - The ex-boyfriend? - No. The bag of mulch! 332 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,430 What? Oh. 333 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,930 Wow, that is actually a really good joke. 334 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,180 I told you. Some things take time. 335 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,010 I'll take you home. 336 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:44,390 - Oh, come on, stick around a little. - Nope. I gotta take Todd home. 337 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,600 Had a wonderful time. Really. It just flew by. 338 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,810 - Come on, Todd, get in the car. - Okay. 339 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,000 Um, do you wanna talk about what happened? 340 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:59,070 What happened? No, I don't wanna talk about what happened, 341 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,530 - I just wanna clean up. - Okay. 342 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:04,200 - Why? What do you think happened? - I just— 343 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:07,370 Because what I think happened is that BoJack's girlfriend asked 344 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:10,670 what Tony Curtis was up to and I said, "Tony Curtis died." 345 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,560 - And you said, "Did he?" - Right, but— 346 00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:15,210 And I said, "Yes, he did." And you said, "Really? 347 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,840 - I'm not sure about that." - Yeah— 348 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,140 And I said, "Well, I am." And you said, "I'm not so sure." 349 00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,560 And I said, "I'm telling you, Tony Curtis is dead." 350 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,350 And you said, "Let's check the Internet." 351 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,450 And I said, "We don't need to check the Internet, I'm telling you he's dead." 352 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,400 And you said, "Let's just check though." 353 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,980 Is that what you think happened? 354 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,610 So, do you wanna talk about it? 355 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,960 It kind of feels like you wanna talk about it. 356 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:40,450 I don't understand why you couldn't just believe that I know something. 357 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,250 I believe you know lots of things. 358 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,330 I just thought, what's the harm in checking? 359 00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:47,080 Especially since we have these amazing little boxes now 360 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:50,970 with 24-hour access to the world's largest source of information. 361 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:54,560 You shouldn't have to check if your wife knows what she's talking about. 362 00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:56,880 You humiliated me in front of all my friends. 363 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,680 You can give it a rest. Show's over. 364 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,220 Okay, but don't I get a little bit of credit 365 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:05,360 for inviting all of your friends to an awesome surprise party? 366 00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:09,350 No, because why did you think I would want an awesome surprise party? 367 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,190 Is it the awesome part you object to or...? 368 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:15,190 You always just assume that everyone wants whatever you want. 369 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,290 Well, you know what they say about assuming. 370 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,950 Makes an ass out of you and "ming." 371 00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:21,200 Who's Ming? 372 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,290 I'm sorry, Diane. Okay? I'm sorry I threw you a party. 373 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:29,080 What a monster. 374 00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,930 Throwing you a party like some sort of terrorist. 375 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,540 It's a well-known fact that if you really hate someone, 376 00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,300 really wanna hit them where it hurts, throw them a party. 377 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:40,510 That's why when we go to war, we don't drop bombs on the enemy. 378 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:46,480 We drop parties! So, I'm so sorry I threw you an amazing party. 379 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,140 You didn't throw me an amazing party. You threw you an amazing party. 380 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,900 Everything today has been about you. 381 00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:55,520 Really? That picnic we had in the tea garden was about me? 382 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,320 That trip to the library was about me? 383 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,700 "Women on the Wall: An Exploration of Gender in Text and Media, 384 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:05,280 Barbara Kruger and Jenny Holzer in conversation with Helen Molesworth" 385 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,700 was about me? 386 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,910 Oh, sure. Fine. Just walk away. 387 00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:15,720 Oh. So now you're gonna play in the ball pit without me? Real mature, Diane. 388 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,890 Why does my birthday party have a ball pit? 389 00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:22,190 - So I could get these T-shirts made. - Ugh. 390 00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:25,180 Also, you once told me that when you were a little girl, 391 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:28,260 you dreamed of living in a house that had a ballroom. 392 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:32,310 - A ballroom is not a room full— No! - Heads up! Yes! 393 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,660 Mr. Peanutbutter, some part of you must have known I wouldn't like any of this. 394 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,780 But I went balls-to-the-wall for this party. 395 00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:41,400 Literally, there are balls all the way to the wall. 396 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,360 Right, but I've told you so many times, I don't like parties. 397 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,320 But it's the thought that counts, right? 398 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:50,160 That's exactly— The thought was... Ugh! 399 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,920 - What did you do to the spare bedroom? - Every room has a theme. 400 00:20:58,010 --> 00:21:00,520 And this room's theme is Starbucks. 401 00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:03,680 - Starbucks is not a theme. - Can we not fight in the Starbucks? 402 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,760 I don't wanna be a couple who fights at Starbucks. 403 00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:09,190 Okay. Fine. You did go all out. 404 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:12,030 I really thought you'd like this. I know you love Starbucks. 405 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,060 - I don't love— - You don't love Starbucks, 406 00:21:14,150 --> 00:21:17,740 you love the independent coffee place, Starbucks is more convenient. 407 00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:19,490 - Yeah. - See? 408 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,530 I do sometimes listen. 409 00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,570 - Can I get you a decaf Americano? - Sure. 410 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,920 I know you put a lot of thought into today and I appreciate that, really— 411 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,670 I have a decaf Americano on the bar for Darren. 412 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,460 Is there a Darren here? 413 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:35,120 Says Darren on the cup. 414 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,710 Thank you. This is very realistic. 415 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,680 I know, right? 416 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,310 You wanna go check out the pool? I filled it up with Jell-O. 417 00:21:46,470 --> 00:21:47,840 Ah. 418 00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:51,260 I still can't believe I'm 35. 419 00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,390 Would you believe I'm 35? 420 00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:56,980 - I'm still mad at you. - I know. 421 00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,280 But I don't wanna be. 422 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,490 Well, I don't want you to be mad at me either. 423 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:04,400 We only have so many days together. I want every one to be a happy one. 424 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,860 Oh, my God. You don't want me to go to Cordovia. 425 00:22:07,950 --> 00:22:09,990 - What? - You don't think I know what it means 426 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,830 when you say shit like... 427 00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:14,950 "We only have so many days together"? 428 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:19,710 - Uh, what? - "Diane, I love waking up next to you." 429 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,810 "Diane, I wish every day could be like this." 430 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,220 - Yeah, but— - "Just the two of us, together." 431 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,840 Do you have any idea how that feels when I'm trying to plan my trip? 432 00:22:29,930 --> 00:22:31,180 Okay. You got me! 433 00:22:31,270 --> 00:22:33,520 Maybe I don't want my wife, 434 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:37,230 whom I love, to go off on a terrifying six-month tour 435 00:22:37,310 --> 00:22:40,770 of the most war-torn, disease-splattered corners of the planet 436 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,570 with a charming, handsome, billionaire bachelor. 437 00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:46,400 What could I be thinking? I'm such a terrible husband. 438 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,160 I'm not happy. 439 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,030 - With me? - I don't know. 440 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,740 With everything. 441 00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:57,040 I wake up in the morning and I feel like I have no purpose. 442 00:22:57,130 --> 00:23:00,890 And I'm 35. And if I don't make some change in my life, 443 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,500 then this is how I'm gonna feel forever. 444 00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:04,920 - Honey— - But then I think 445 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:08,060 about Sebastian St. Clair and going to work with him, 446 00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:10,810 helping people and making a difference. 447 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:14,260 And I feel like I have a reason to get out of bed. 448 00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:16,100 I didn't know you felt that way. 449 00:23:16,230 --> 00:23:18,400 If you told me that, I would have heard it. 450 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,690 Mr. Peanutbutter, you know I love you and think you're a good dog. 451 00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:25,190 Yes, you are. Yes, you are, and I love your cute, funny face, 452 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,320 but I don't wanna be one of those couples 453 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,570 that settles into a routine and never changes. 454 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,780 Well, I don't know what to say because I'm an old dog 455 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,580 and I'm not gonna change. 456 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:38,410 Do you know what I do while you're at work all day? 457 00:23:39,790 --> 00:23:41,580 I mostly just sit right there. 458 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:44,920 Sometimes I pretend to dig a little hole and then I take a nap. 459 00:23:45,010 --> 00:23:49,980 And when I hear your car in the driveway, it is the best part of my day. 460 00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:52,140 I mean, I go insane. 461 00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:55,350 I know, and I love you so much, 462 00:23:55,430 --> 00:23:58,470 but you're never going to be my only priority like that. 463 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,270 That's just not how I'm wired. 464 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,740 I need to also live my life. 465 00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:07,160 Well... okay. 466 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,660 Is it okay? 467 00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:14,210 If I change and try new things and you still love me? 468 00:24:14,290 --> 00:24:17,710 And you just stay the same person you've always been and I still love you? 469 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:22,250 Uh, yeah, that sounds good to me. Does that work for you? 470 00:24:22,340 --> 00:24:25,090 Yeah, I think that works. 471 00:24:25,170 --> 00:24:28,590 Just don't throw me any more surprise parties, okay? 472 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,260 Uh, yeah, noted. 473 00:24:31,340 --> 00:24:33,180 I can't believe you got me a ball pit. 474 00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:37,850 And you're saying no part of you wants to go jump in that ball pit right now? 475 00:24:37,930 --> 00:24:39,350 Well, maybe a little. 476 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,610 - Does that make me a hypocrite? - No, it just means you changed. 477 00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:45,650 It's one of the things I love about you. 478 00:24:49,450 --> 00:24:52,290 Surprise! 479 00:24:52,370 --> 00:24:54,580 Hello? Anybody? 480 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:57,080 This is Paul McCartney. 481 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,000 I came all this way to jump out of a cake? Honest. 482 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,460 With a new suit on... Aye-yai-yai. 483 00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:51,800 Boxer versus raptor. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.