1 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:09,960 Son, did you do your homework? 2 00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:12,180 I don't wanna do my homework! 3 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:13,980 What, what, what? 4 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,430 - I want Chicken 4 Dayz! - Oh... 5 00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,980 - I got a drumstick! - I got a arm. 6 00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,110 I got a bucket full of mystery stuff! 7 00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:35,320 Over at Chicken 4 Dayz, 8 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,370 they pump their chickens full of hormones 9 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:40,750 and keep them cooped up in tiny cages. 10 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,800 Now, as a chicken, this concerns me. 11 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,670 Here at Gentle Farms, we treat our livestock differently. 12 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,720 Lush fields, plenty of dignity, 13 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,170 and foosball. 14 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,670 The chickens here have wonderful lives 15 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,390 before we harvest them, so you can eat them. 16 00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,760 But wait, Pa, aren't we chickens? 17 00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:00,310 I don't wanna get eaten! 18 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:02,390 Boy, these animals aren't like us. 19 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,310 They're specifically bred to be eaten, 20 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,940 and genetically modified for maximum flavor. 21 00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:11,440 When our chicks first hatch, we lovingly inject them 22 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,070 with natural delicious hormones, 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,170 which makes them meat, thereby erasing any moral gray area! 24 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,420 Now you can feel good about eating our meat. 25 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:24,580 It's simple: No one knows chicken like chickens. 26 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,080 Gentle Farms. 27 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:31,000 Why put the "Skip Ad" button so late? I'm not skipping now. I'm invested. 28 00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:33,630 BoJack, you're driving a car right now. 29 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,220 - Oh, right! - Aah! Oh! 30 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,550 Whoa! 31 00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:56,770 Kelsey, ray of sunshine. 32 00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:58,940 And who's this little drop of Jupiter? 33 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:02,150 - This is my daughter, Irving. - Your daughter's name is Irving? 34 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,970 Gender-normative names are oppressive. 35 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,810 Well, aren't you a little princess? 36 00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,820 What are you doing outside of the castle? 37 00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:09,530 Mom, your friend is being weird. 38 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,660 BoJack is not my friend. 39 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,120 - Whoa! - Diane, I need you to handle Irving. 40 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:16,650 - Handle her? - It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day. 41 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,950 I took my daughter to work, she got empowered, 42 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,040 and now I need you to take my daughter away from work, 43 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,530 so I can actually do some. 44 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,490 Mom, don't pawn me off onto your assistant. 45 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,290 Can you not fight me on this, please? 46 00:03:27,410 --> 00:03:30,920 Take my car and my daughter, and go do whatever it is you do. 47 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:33,300 Way to delegate, captain! Down low! 48 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,590 Nope? Look down. Just put your eyes down. 49 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,920 My hand is below your eye line. No? 50 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,090 I guess you're stuck with me, kiddo. 51 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,760 Sounds great, old-woman-o. 52 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,970 What is it, BoJack? I'm at my dumb niece's wedding. 53 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,930 Not you, honey! A different dumb niece. 54 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,730 I feel like Kelsey doesn't like me. 55 00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:54,120 You're not really the kind of person people like. 56 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,490 - Right away? - Uh, sure. 57 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,650 But once they get to know me, they adore me? 58 00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,360 How do I put this delicately? No. 59 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:03,200 The problem is we haven't gotten any one-on-one time. 60 00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,080 There are always other people around. 61 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,740 Filming me. Feeding me. 62 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:08,450 Walking me to the garage at night, 63 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:11,290 because one time I saw a bag in the wind and I got spooked. 64 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,760 BoJack, the only reason you want Kelsey to like you 65 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,470 is because she's cold and distant. 66 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:18,310 Any time someone tries to love you, you shove them away. 67 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:21,010 What? No, I don't, stupid. You're stupid. 68 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,220 Don't be such a dumb stupid idiot, Todd. 69 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,180 Okay, I gotta go. Everyone's staring at me for some reason. 70 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,140 What? I'm ready. Let's take a picture. 71 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,140 Hear ye! Hear ye! 72 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:35,860 I call this meeting of P.B. Livin' to order. 73 00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:38,780 I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said: 74 00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:41,500 "You have reached the end of your free trial membership 75 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,790 at Benjamin-Franklin-Quotes.com." 76 00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:46,410 - What a wise man. - What's on the agenda, my frienda? 77 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,540 Well, here's an idea. 78 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:52,220 What if there was a West Dakota? 79 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:55,090 Todd, isn't that a job for the State Department? 80 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,290 Well, I got a whole page of other ideas, 81 00:04:57,500 --> 00:05:00,840 each as impractical as they are prohibitively expensive. 82 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:02,100 You know what they say: 83 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,920 "You gotta spend money to make money." 84 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:06,300 So, how can I spend a lot of money? 85 00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:07,800 I know. I'll take a spa day. 86 00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:09,940 - Uh— - Eyes, prepare to receive cucumbers. 87 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,230 - We're in a meeting. - You know what they say: 88 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:15,310 "You gotta skip meetings to have meetings." See ya. 89 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,770 - Wait, what should I do? - I don't know. 90 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:20,940 Oh, maybe you could go on one of your silly Todd adventures. 91 00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,780 You know, whatever you do when everyone is busy with other stuff. 92 00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:25,990 Okay. 93 00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:28,820 What is it, Todd? 94 00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:30,780 Princess Carolyn, I need something to do. 95 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,120 A job, or a task, or a direction in life... 96 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,330 You're my agent. Can you give my life meaning? 97 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,920 I don't have time for this. 98 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,800 Well, don't stop on my account. 99 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,340 Princess Carolyn, do I have a purpose? 100 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,560 Oh, purpose? Are you high? 101 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,090 Only the normal amount. 102 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,510 I gotta go. They're about to step on the glass. 103 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,850 Just stay out of trouble. 104 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,020 Uh, okay. 105 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,190 What I want is a hard target search 106 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,940 of every gas station, backyard, outhouse, pool house... 107 00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:06,900 And can I get a black-and-white cookie, 108 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,960 if it's not too G.D. troublesome? 109 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,990 So, we know the chicken crossed the road. 110 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:17,330 But the real mystery is why? 111 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,250 So, what do you want to be when you grow up? 112 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:22,590 First I'm gonna go to Brown, 113 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:24,460 - then I'm gonna go to Yale Law. - Wow. 114 00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:27,090 Then I'm gonna be the youngest Supreme Court Justice. 115 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,640 - That's great. - Or, you know, something in marketing. 116 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,190 Wow. 117 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,400 Would you mind if we stopped by my house? 118 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,650 I have to do laundry. 119 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:39,150 So, you just, like, do laundry? That's, like, your thing? 120 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,570 Okay. This whole attitude you're putting on? 121 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:42,910 I must be Shania Twain, 122 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,730 because that don't impress me much. 123 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,790 Is that a reference from the '90s? 124 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,280 You know that was 20 years ago, right? 125 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:52,450 Hey, I was just like you when I was a teenager. 126 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,830 I was this badass overachiever 127 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,290 that had these big plans to change the world. 128 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,580 Yeah? What happened? 129 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:03,250 Oh, you didn't hear? I changed the world. 130 00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,840 Did you have a nice shower? 131 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:13,050 I made you a sandwich. Oh, but it has turkey in it. 132 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:14,100 Is that kind of weird? 133 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:16,980 Police! 134 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,230 What seems to be the problem, Officer...? 135 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,070 Fuzzyface. Meow Meow Fuzzyface. 136 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,410 A Chicken 4 Dayz chicken fell off a truck, 137 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:31,110 and I gotta find her and take her to the slaughterhouse. 138 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,320 You haven't seen any chickens running around? 139 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,790 No, I don't think so. 140 00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:41,040 - Who's this? - Uh, this is my, uh— My wife— 141 00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:43,590 —Becca! Yeah, my wife Becca. 142 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,890 - Becca Chavez. There she is. - Okay. 143 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,130 —Yep, she loves her books. 144 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,630 Big reader. 145 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,260 - Real nerd. 146 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:54,050 Back off? Okay, I'm sorry, honey. 147 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,470 Hold on, if you're really a nerd, 148 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,720 who's your favorite Baroque composer? 149 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,070 - Bach? Not Vivaldi? You're insane! 150 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:04,980 Yes, I am holding a Bic pen, 151 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,480 but I don't see how that's relevant, Mrs. Chavez. 152 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,240 —Sorry. Becca. 153 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,320 —She's a charming woman. 154 00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:15,910 I do have to look around a little bit, just so I can say I did my job. 155 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,990 - Uh, don't you need a warrant? - Only if you're guilty. 156 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,920 Well, in that case, mi casa es su casa. 157 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,550 So, if anyone asks, you were born in La Jolla. 158 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,600 You majored in Communications at USC, 159 00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,690 and now you're the booking agent 160 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,280 - for Kings of Leon. 161 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,980 - Fine, you also book Beck. - Todd? 162 00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:45,070 Aah! I didn't find that thing in your drawer! 163 00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:47,060 Why are the police outside? 164 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:50,360 Okay. I met this chicken and she escaped from Chicken 4 Dayz factory, 165 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,870 and she doesn't speak English, 166 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,620 but she's my best friend and the cops are looking for her, 167 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,410 and Mr. Peanutbutter went to the spa, 168 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:59,160 and I love her, and her name is Becca. Chickenson. 169 00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:01,870 - Todd, breathe. - But we can't send Becca back. 170 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,870 - They're gonna pump her full of hormones. 171 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,500 - More hormones. 172 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:10,090 I have a plan, but we gotta get her out of here now. 173 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,720 - Todd, no. Becca doesn't belong to you. - But she needs our help. 174 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,760 Do you know how much trouble we'd get in? 175 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:17,770 There's a policeman in our front yard. 176 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,510 Uh-oh, here comes the responsible suburban housewife. 177 00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:22,860 Gonna do whatever the man says. 178 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,700 You're right. Let's get out of here. 179 00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:30,530 So, now you're just gonna do whatever a teenage girl says? 180 00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:32,780 - Jeezy kableezy, grow a spine. 181 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,320 Yeah, or a backbone. 182 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,450 Thank you, Becca. 183 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:40,840 Here chicken, chicken, chicken. 184 00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:44,370 Oh, oh. Well, we're off to the beach. 185 00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:47,790 Just me and my wife, and our teenage daughter and our maid. 186 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,630 - What? Why am I a maid? - Silence, maid! 187 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,960 Honey, do you want to sit in the front or the back? 188 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,220 —And why not? Maid, you can drive. 189 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,140 Hope there's not too much traffic on the 134. 190 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:00,930 Okay, bye-bye, officer. 191 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:03,520 So long. Have a great day. 192 00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,650 Wait a second. The 134 doesn't go to the beach. 193 00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,410 Unless you took it to the 10. 194 00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:11,280 But then why wouldn't you take the 405 to the 10? 195 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,450 Hold on, this pen isn't a Bic. 196 00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:16,240 No, no, this doesn't add up at all. 197 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,410 Wait! That man's wife was a... 198 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:23,040 chicken! 199 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:28,000 Fowl run afoul. A funky chicken has flown the coop, 200 00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:31,260 and for a concerned populace, the sky is falling. 201 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:33,550 Michael Morgan, Chicken 4 Dayz CEO, 202 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,270 this is a public safety hazard, and your company is responsible. 203 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,220 Admit it, you counted your chickens before they hatched, 204 00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:42,850 and now, those chickens have come home to roost. 205 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,230 Tom, I want to take full responsibility for this mishap. 206 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,610 That's why, for a limited time, everybody, 207 00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:53,190 we are offering our special Full Responsibility Poppers 208 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,190 at participating restaurants for only $4.99. 209 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,650 Tell me, though, if one sees 210 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,950 this delicious escaped chicken in the street, 211 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,700 should they approach it, or—? 212 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:05,080 Oh, no. I want to be very clear that this is not like a friend chicken 213 00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,590 you see at school or work. 214 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,660 This is a special kind of food chicken 215 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,260 that has lived its entire life indoors. 216 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,960 This chicken is not socialized for the outside world. 217 00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:17,050 - Sounds like my ex-wife. Hey-yo! 218 00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:18,430 Oh, Tommy. 219 00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:21,550 Look, the safest place for this chicken right now is with us, 220 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,970 so we can kill it, turn it into a sludge, 221 00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:26,930 and then press that sludge into a delicious patty. 222 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,140 I'd like to take this moment to apologize 223 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:31,560 for the earlier crack about my ex-wife. 224 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:35,610 Shannon, we shared 14 beautiful years together. 225 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,690 How do you respond to allegations 226 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:41,110 that factory farming is "torture," or "cruel," 227 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,780 or "like a terrifying movie about some strange dystopian society, 228 00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:47,660 but in this monster story, the horrifying monsters are us"? 229 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,120 Relax, Tommy, 230 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:53,250 everything we do is completely legal and FDA-approved, 231 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,500 so, therefore, it is fine. 232 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,130 I have no follow-up questions. 233 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,800 - Okay, Todd, what's your plan? - What? 234 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,470 You said you had a plan. 235 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,470 Oh, yeah. My plan was: Ask Diane for help. 236 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,770 And now my plan has been completed. 237 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,600 Nice follow-through, Todd. 238 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:13,480 We have a 'roided out chicken 239 00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:15,660 and the cops on the lookout. What do we do? 240 00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:18,200 Hey, geniuses, why don't we take her to Gentle Farms? 241 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,740 Yeah, no one knows chicken like chickens! 242 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,990 They couldn't say that in the ad if it wasn't true. 243 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,240 —Yeah! Book Beck. You remember. 244 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,830 - And cut! Company move to— - Great news, blue-collar types. 245 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,790 Instead of crew lunch today, your star has arranged 246 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,170 for his favorite burrito truck to bring you lunch. 247 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:42,720 It's me, I'm that star! 248 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,060 We're not breaking for lunch yet. 249 00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:47,640 Or we could break for lunch, 250 00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:49,730 and you and I could get to know each other. 251 00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,100 The crew has more work to do. 252 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,450 Once they've had a burrito, they'll be off their circadian rhythm— 253 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,060 - What? - Los Angeles P.D. 254 00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:58,270 Are you the owner of a 2002 Volvo 255 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,400 with a "Reelect Al Gore" bumper sticker? 256 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,040 As relevant today as it was then. 257 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,670 Are you aware said Volvo is currently harboring a fugitive chicken, 258 00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:09,090 along with a teenage girl, a small, sprite-like man, 259 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,910 and a maid of some sort? 260 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,380 That's my daughter! Not the maid. The other one. 261 00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:16,000 I'd wager they're making a run for Gentle Farms. 262 00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:17,510 Don't worry, though. 263 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,340 We'll bring your daughter home, dead or alive. 264 00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:22,560 - Alive! Alive! - We're the L.A.P.D., ma'am. 265 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,390 - We'll probably make the right call. - Wait, wait, wait— 266 00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:26,970 All right, troops, listen up! 267 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,520 I'm ready to go after these rabble-rousers with all— 268 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,310 Oh, no! Not until you get a warrant! 269 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,850 Ah, damn it, I hate due process! 270 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,140 You're a loose cannon, Meow Meow Fuzzyface. 271 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,450 No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? 272 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:40,940 Is that what you think of me? 273 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,650 I think you play by your own rules. 274 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,030 No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken. 275 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,620 These are all attributes of a loose cannon. 276 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,580 No, I'm just a reckless renegade. 277 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,660 - Sergeant Stone's a loose cannon. - Aah! 278 00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:54,080 You shut your trap, Fuzzyface. 279 00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:57,620 I'd say Stone's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. 280 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,350 - That's a different thing. - Now I'm just confused. 281 00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:02,890 Is Meow Meow Fuzzyface a loose cannon or not? 282 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:04,800 All right, put on a pot of coffee. 283 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,340 We're gonna get to the bottom of this. 284 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,350 Aw, man. 285 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,940 So full of burrito. Ooh. 286 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,770 Uh-oh, siesta time. 287 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:19,400 I need to go. Irving ran off with a fugitive chicken in my car. 288 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,150 We can take my car. This is perfect. 289 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,660 Why is this perfect? My daughter could be in danger. 290 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,950 Yes, I agree, but we can use the car ride to get some one-on-one. 291 00:14:27,070 --> 00:14:28,860 I mean, who is BoJack? 292 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,670 I'm sure I can find another ride. 293 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,950 Every second you waste finding another ride, 294 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,910 your daughter gets closer to getting her eyes poked out by a mutant chicken, 295 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,670 or worse, death, or slightly better, teen pregnancy, 296 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,430 or worse again, salmonella. 297 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:42,890 Okay, fine. Let's go. 298 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:45,010 Yay! I'm calling this road trip the 007, 299 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,640 because we are gonna bond. 300 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,340 Up top? Down low? Either one? Both? 301 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,890 Oh, wow, you guys have a movie night here? 302 00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:55,810 - Oh... - And we have 20 acres of pasture, 303 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,450 where our chickens have hours of free play. 304 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,270 See, Todd? She'll be happy here. 305 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,770 She sure will. 306 00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:05,150 Because no one knows chicken like chickens. 307 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,990 Thank you for saving this poultry from a terrible life at a factory farm. 308 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,210 You're a hero. 309 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:13,170 But what if Chicken 4 Dayz tries to get her back? 310 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,080 Don't you worry about your friend. 311 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,830 - That chicken belongs to us now. - Whoa! 312 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,000 - Where'd you get that gun? - You mean originally, or just now? 313 00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,840 - Just now. - It was in that barrel. 314 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,430 - And what about originally? - Also that barrel. 315 00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:28,300 Look, Becca, I know this is hard to understand, 316 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,760 but I have to go, and you can't come with me. 317 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,720 No, no, you don't need to book Beck anymore. 318 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:36,930 Now you can just be a chicken. 319 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,770 See, this is where you belong, okay? 320 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,770 You hear me? I don't want you no more. 321 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:44,060 You weren't the best friend I ever had, 322 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,160 and I never loved you! Now get, Becca! 323 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,070 I said get! 324 00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:57,540 She really stretched out that dress. 325 00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,880 She was so horrified, she checked into rehab. 326 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,420 So, I'm kind of the reason Drew Barrymore got sober. 327 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,040 Did you like Never Been Kissed? If so, you're welcome. 328 00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,500 Can we have one conversation that isn't about you? 329 00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:09,960 I don't understand why you need me to like you. 330 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:13,270 I don't need you to like me. It would be fun if you liked me, 331 00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:16,110 because I'd prove my parents were wrong to never support me, 332 00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:18,720 because I earned the admiration of an authority figure, 333 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,140 proving I have intrinsic worth, 334 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,230 but it's not a big deal or anything. Jeez. 335 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,570 Great story. You should put that in a podcast, so I can unsubscribe. 336 00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,480 Can this piece of junk go any faster? 337 00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:30,150 It's been screwy since I hit that deer a couple weeks back. 338 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,570 Probably should get it checked out. 339 00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,210 Probably should've gotten it checked out. 340 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,840 - Those farmers seem nice. - Yeah. 341 00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:48,260 I think Becca will be really happy there. 342 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:49,960 She'll have a nice life. 343 00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:53,010 Yeah, until they kill her. 344 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,510 Well, yeah, but of all the places that will eventually kill her, 345 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,970 Gentle Farms seems like the best. 346 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,810 This doesn't feel right. 347 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,740 Becca was our friend. 348 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,650 - No. We gotta get her back. - Uh, what do you mean? 349 00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:07,690 Remember when that guy cocked his gun and said: 350 00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:09,330 "That chicken belongs to us now"? 351 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:12,120 He wasn't doing that because he likes cocking guns. 352 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,320 - Then we'll just bust her out. - Todd, there's nothing we can do. 353 00:17:15,490 --> 00:17:16,990 Where else would Becca go? 354 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,660 She doesn't even speak English. 355 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,410 Well, we gotta do something. 356 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,250 Look, I know I'm a screw-up and all my ideas are terrible, 357 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:27,090 but with Becca, I was responsible for something. 358 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,930 I had a purpose. 359 00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:32,720 Ah. I guess you wouldn't understand. 360 00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:40,150 - Oh, my God, Diane! - All right. Let's bust her out. 361 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,980 Yes! Okay, and afterwards, will you get me an iPad? 362 00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:46,030 - What? No. - But I really want an iPad. 363 00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:48,940 Maybe you wouldn't understand. 364 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,160 Don't push it. 365 00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:56,530 All right, all right, we've agreed. He's a loose cannon, but he gets results. 366 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,200 - I can live with that. - Now, you go bust those perps. 367 00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:01,380 You'll need a maverick, a by-the-book rookie, 368 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,210 and a curmudgeonly veteran one week from retirement. 369 00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:05,470 Go, go, go! 370 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:10,970 We have received word that authorities are now en route to Gentle Farms 371 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:15,130 in an attempt to preempt the pursued poultry at the pass. 372 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,760 Do we have a graphic for this? No? Where's the graphic? 373 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,310 No, I'm not gonna go on until we have a graphic. 374 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,860 So, make one. I'll wait. Yeah, hold on, America, 375 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,180 Randy's gotta figure out how to do his job. 376 00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:28,390 Because if I don't have a graphic, Randy, 377 00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:30,280 people who are just tuning in— 378 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,230 Why am I explaining this to you? This is basic journalistic— 379 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,610 I swear to God! We'll be right back! 380 00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:42,870 Just got to place the jack in the right jack apparatus. 381 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,380 There, I have got— 382 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,130 No. I have no idea what I'm doing. 383 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,790 That was me acting. Pretty convincing performance, huh? 384 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,040 There's more to me— 385 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,040 Are you capable of experiencing a moment 386 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:53,800 that you don't then make about you? 387 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,590 What was your plan to get out of here? 388 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,230 I don't know. Some hick will come by, 389 00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,220 and I'll give him an autograph for a tow. 390 00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:01,900 Boom, his life's changed, and you and I are on our way. 391 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:05,440 Oh, my God. I'm going to lose custody of my daughter. 392 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,810 The only reason I took this movie is for her. 393 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,030 This is my one shot at a big studio movie. 394 00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:13,200 If I blow it, I'm back to making small, critically acclaimed movies 395 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,160 about lesbians learning how to recycle. 396 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,250 You think I want to be an indie darling? 397 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,110 Who's gonna fund Irving's education? 398 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,160 - Marla? With her seasonal nut butters? - Yeah, Marla sucks, right? 399 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,620 Indie-darling daughters don't go to Brown, okay? 400 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,670 They end up at cute pat-on-the-back factories like Vassar, 401 00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:31,170 then move back in with their indie-darling mothers 402 00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,130 and make puppet shows with their tampons, 403 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,250 and they get a profile in New York Magazine, 404 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:36,710 and the cycle continues. 405 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,050 Oh, my God, I'm a terrible mother. 406 00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,300 Hey, I know terrible mothers, 407 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,050 and you're not a terrible mother. 408 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,280 Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around? 409 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:48,530 And you're the director 410 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,190 of Women Who Love Women Who Love Recycling. 411 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,200 Give you a lift in exchange for a couple autographs. 412 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,230 There he is. Right on time. 413 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,320 Shh, shh, shh. 414 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:04,950 Everyone keep quiet. We gotta— 415 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,540 Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 416 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,000 They probably didn't hear that. 417 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,170 Uh, that's probably a coincidence. 418 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,130 Someone broke onto the farm! 419 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,300 Maybe they're rehearsing a one-act play 420 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:24,220 called Someone Broke Onto the Farm 421 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,010 and someone just said the titular line? 422 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:27,980 This way. 423 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,390 - Oh. - Irving, this isn't safe. 424 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,770 Get in the car, lock the doors. 425 00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:33,740 Don't be a badass and argue with me— 426 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,320 - Yeah, okay, bye! - Okay. 427 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,480 Go, go, go! 428 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:39,660 Uh... 429 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,320 Becca? 430 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,120 Who's making that ruckus in my chicken coop? 431 00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:51,420 - Becca, where are you? - Becca, are you...? 432 00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,340 Becca? 433 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,750 Is this you? 434 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,840 —Becca? 435 00:20:57,010 --> 00:21:00,600 To— To— Todd? 436 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,090 Oh, I found her! Diane! This one's Becca! 437 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,380 No! Todd! Don't you get it? 438 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,230 - They're all Becca. - Oh. 439 00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,640 Okay, go, chickens! You're free. 440 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,060 Go, run to freedom! 441 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,600 For generations they will tell your story! 442 00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:16,980 - Who goes there? - Oh, oh, oh, shit! 443 00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:18,730 - We gotta hide! - Go, go, go! 444 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,530 Hide, hide! In here! Someplace safe. 445 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,620 Come on, come on. Oh, no! 446 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:31,290 - Shh, shh. Becca, no, no, no! - Shh. 447 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,510 Only we know how to care for these creatures, you hear? 448 00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:39,130 Like I say: No one knows chicken like chickens. 449 00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:41,430 Oh. 450 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:45,260 - Diane, I'm sorry I got you into this. - It's not your fault. 451 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,640 I don't know why I always get into these messes. 452 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:50,520 You know, sometimes I feel like my whole life 453 00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:54,030 is just a series of loosely-related wacky misadventures. 454 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,940 I think that's just what being in your 20s is. 455 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,690 - Really? - Yeah. 456 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:02,730 I'm supposed to be the adult here, and I'm a total mess. 457 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:05,030 You kidding? You're the coolest person I know. 458 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,250 - Really? - Yeah. You always know what to do, 459 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,990 and you don't take shit from anyone. 460 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,450 Is that how you see me? 461 00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:13,410 Of course. You're like Lara Croft. 462 00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:15,790 In Diane's body. 463 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,420 - This is our chance. Let's go! - Come on! 464 00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,560 Go, go, go! 465 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,510 Please. Take me with you. 466 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,970 I hate it here. I don't want to kill chickens. 467 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:31,220 I want to design video games that help kids learn math. 468 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,350 Oh... 469 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,070 Whoa! 470 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,780 I am so sorry. 471 00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:38,940 Okay, that was crazy! Just go. 472 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:41,150 Let's get out of here! 473 00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:48,490 We're free, we're free! Oh, shit. 474 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,410 Well, well, looks like birds of a feather... 475 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:56,790 go to jail. 476 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,300 —Why was he wearing sunglasses 477 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,540 at night? 478 00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:05,550 I hope you folks like community service. 479 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,760 - I do. - What? Oh. 480 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:10,220 Oh, my God, Irving, thank God you're safe. 481 00:23:10,310 --> 00:23:11,650 Mom, I'm fine. 482 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:14,110 Stop embarrassing me in front of my cool friends. 483 00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:16,220 What? Cool? 484 00:23:16,390 --> 00:23:19,480 I mean, that's cool that you think I'm cool. 485 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,400 I don't care or anything, but, you know, it's cool. 486 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,650 Hey, this guy. What'd you get arrested for? 487 00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:26,450 - Being too cute? 488 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:27,690 I want to be in his cell. 489 00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:28,900 —Listen up, everybody. 490 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:32,120 I, famous celebrity BoJack Horseman, have an announcement. 491 00:23:32,290 --> 00:23:34,130 I'm going to ask you to drop all charges 492 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:36,090 on account of me being a celebrity. 493 00:23:36,210 --> 00:23:38,710 We gracefully accept the requisite slap on the wrist 494 00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:40,920 and a brief, but ultimately pointless, trial 495 00:23:41,090 --> 00:23:43,550 in the court of public opinion. Good day. 496 00:23:43,670 --> 00:23:46,920 Well, you are famous, so you are all free to go. 497 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,470 - But what about Becca? - Took care of that, too. 498 00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:52,390 Called in a favor with Drew Barrymore, 499 00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:55,220 and she'll pay off Chicken 4 Dayz to adopt your friend. 500 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:58,310 Does she have a meadow that Becca can frolic around in? 501 00:23:58,390 --> 00:24:01,060 You think Drew Barrymore doesn't have a frolicking meadow? 502 00:24:01,150 --> 00:24:02,860 That is the dumbest thing I've heard. 503 00:24:02,940 --> 00:24:04,480 I learned something today. 504 00:24:04,690 --> 00:24:06,610 When you think something isn't about you, 505 00:24:06,740 --> 00:24:09,540 you find a way to save the day and realize that it was, 506 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,910 all along, all about you. 507 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,280 Plus, I got you all a burrito truck! 508 00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:17,490 - Hooray! - Yay! I'm great! 509 00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:24,210 So, after all that, the only thing that saved Becca 510 00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:26,590 was that BoJack was friends with Drew Barrymore? 511 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,220 - Yep. - So, did anything we did matter? 512 00:24:29,430 --> 00:24:30,930 - Nope. - I think it did. 513 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:32,800 I think we made a difference. 514 00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:35,090 A small one, but a difference. 515 00:24:35,310 --> 00:24:37,520 Yeah, I think we did, too. 516 00:24:37,730 --> 00:24:40,860 I think we really changed things for the better. 517 00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,940 Boxer versus raptor. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.