1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,509 Sarah Lynn! Sarah Lynn! 2 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,636 Okay, one more song. 3 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,304 I'm gonna slow things down. 4 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:16,790 This is "My Heinie Ain't So Tiny." 5 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,276 Sarah Lynn is very tired. 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,446 Can you just tell her BoJack's here? Horseman. I'm an old friend. 7 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,782 Well, I'll tell her, but... 8 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,079 BoJack? Oh, my God! Bring him in! 9 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,207 - I can't believe you came to my concert. - It was incredible. 10 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,085 When you sang that one ballad and shot fireworks out of your boobs, 11 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,671 that was such a moving tribute to gays in the military. 12 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,130 We are going out. 13 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,466 Before you go, I need you to sign these posters. 14 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,052 It's for charity. Doctors Without Posters. 15 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,054 Okay. BoJack, can you hang out for a minute? 16 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,932 - Yeah. I'm not going anywhere. - Also, we have those radio records, 17 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,135 and you're doing the print ads for Sarah Lynn's Stank, 18 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,561 the new fragrance from Kevin Kline. 19 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,938 - You mean Calvin Klein. - Kevin Kline, BoJack. 20 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,732 He's the only man who truly understands my fragrance. 21 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,485 I'll come back in 20 for those posters. 22 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,613 Oh, my God. Being famous is the worst. 23 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:15,367 - Ugh! Yeah, you're telling me. - No, but, like, really famous. 24 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,786 - Uh... - How can I explain it to someone like you? 25 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,913 I feel like all my friends only like 26 00:01:19,938 --> 00:01:21,981 me because I'm Sarah Lynn, you know. 27 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,668 - Nobody cares about Sarah Lipschitz. - Who's Sarah Lipschitz? 28 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,831 The lawyer who helped me 29 00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:27,611 change my name from Sarah Helmulfarb. 30 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,505 Oof! 31 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,259 It is so great to see a real friend who knew me before I got huge 32 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,177 and isn't just trying to get something out of me. 33 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,095 Right. 34 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,180 I swear you are, like, the only one I have left. 35 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,684 I am this close to falling off the deep end. 36 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,479 I know I'm smiling right now, but the light inside me is dying. 37 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,397 Uh, what? 38 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,086 But here I am blah-blah-blah-ing about 39 00:01:47,111 --> 00:01:48,633 my own boring, sexy, thrilling life. 40 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,485 What is going on with you? 41 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:54,197 Well, actually, I'm doing this new show, The BoJack Horseman Show. 42 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,121 - I don't know if you've seen it or... - Ugh, I'm so busy with the tour. 43 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,870 Yeah, no, of course, no, but it's been a lot of fun. 44 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,415 The ratings aren't great, but we have this upcoming episode, 45 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,960 and we're looking for a really big guest star. 46 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,088 Oh. You want me to be on your show? 47 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:15,552 Well, I just thought it would be really fun for... the both of us. 48 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,138 You know, like the old days. 49 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,267 I have the script with me if you want to take a look at it. 50 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,228 Um, okay. Why don't you put it on that pile over there? 51 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,564 And I'll get to it when I have some free time. 52 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,066 - Over here? - Yeah. 53 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,818 I'd love to keep hanging out, but these doctors need their posters, 54 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,403 and I'm already pretty exhausted. 55 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,529 You should probably go. 56 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,324 - Oh, okay. - It's all very exhausting. 57 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,617 Thanks again for coming. 58 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,079 Like I said, it's always nice to see a... you. 59 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,580 Yeah. 60 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,708 Adam Levine has tweeted his sympathies. 61 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:50,212 "Today we lost an icon. #SheWillBeLoved 62 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,008 Again, for those just joining us, 63 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:59,596 actress and pop star Sarah Lynn is dead at 31. 64 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:54,263 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com ... 65 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:02,534 Day 75 at sea, there's a darkness brewing on the horizon. 66 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,912 I feel it. What say you, skippy? 67 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,417 I think you got a touch of the ocean madness, Margo. 68 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,253 And I think you got a real smart mouth. 69 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,255 You want another night in the box? 70 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,673 No, anything but that! 71 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,844 Then quit your yappin' and fix Mama a Sazerac. 72 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,391 Hey, is that character actress Margo Martindale? 73 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,852 She's on the FBI's Most Wanted list 74 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,352 and the AV Club's list of 20 75 00:04:30,377 --> 00:04:32,755 actresses that always make everything better. 76 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,150 - We gotta call this in, right? - That depends. 77 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,695 Are we professional blimp pilots, or are we casting directors? 78 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,113 Blimp pilots, sir. 79 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,825 Then we're not being paid to discover underutilized character actresses. 80 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,952 We're being paid to pilot this blimp. 81 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,622 Hey, Margo, do you see something out there across the water? 82 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,917 Yeah. What is that? 83 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,967 All clear from here to Los Angeles. 84 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,552 We've hit a few delays, 85 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,180 but you'll get your precious cargo by tomorrow. 86 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,097 Tomorrow? 87 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,558 But the big opening of my restaurant is tonight! 88 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,275 How can I offer the real Italian 89 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,545 cuisine without my real Italian spaghett'? 90 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,898 Spaghett' is how Italian people say "spaghetti." 91 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,983 We'll get you your pasta. 92 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,444 Better do what he says. He might have friends in the Mob. 93 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:22,948 "Friends in the Mob"? That is an ugly stereotype. 94 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:28,203 You heard the man. Set this boat's controls to "faster." 95 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,287 Aye-aye, Cap'n. 96 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,086 Oh, I see how it is. Wanna play a game of chicken, huh? 97 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,339 I don't think this is a good idea, Margo. 98 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,467 Cram it, skip! Those limp dicks are about to find out 99 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,345 what savvy film and television viewers have known for years. 100 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:50,642 Character actress Margo Martindale ain't afraid of nothin'! 101 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,937 The boats are about to collide! We have to do something! 102 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,981 You know damn well, when we took to the sky, 103 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:59,317 we made a solemn oath never to meddle in the affairs of land nor sea. 104 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,111 We are sworn but to observe. 105 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,696 This is the blimper's promise. 106 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:06,116 Oh, no! The boats are tearing each other apart! 107 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,452 Crates and crates of spaghetti are pouring out into the ocean! 108 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,539 I'm watching the same boat collision you are. You don't need to narrate it. 109 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,583 Oh! 110 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:19,713 No! Skippy! He was too pure for this world! 111 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,133 Oh, no! 112 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,760 The pasta is cooking! 113 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:29,848 If only we had some olive oil to reduce the stickiness. 114 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:33,852 But olive oil doesn't actually reduce the stickiness in pasta. 115 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,687 That's only a myth. 116 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:39,733 No! I've wasted so much of my life 117 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,695 stirring olive oil into pasta! 118 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,158 Disaster al dente off the coast of San Clemente! 119 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,827 Twelve tons of pasta have leaked into the ocean, 120 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:55,081 and the massive carbo load is heading straight to Pacific Ocean City. 121 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,252 Joining us via Google Hangout 122 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,630 is spaghetti scientist Carla Hall. 123 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,883 - What can you tell us, Carla? - Well, Tom, as the spaghetti cooks, 124 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,093 it will expand, smothering the town 125 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,971 and tenderly broiling the sea life who reside there. 126 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,514 Is there any way to prevent 127 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,684 this delicious-sounding environmental catastrophe? 128 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186 The only hope for rescue would be 129 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,105 if someone had an enormous quantity of spaghetti strainers 130 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,523 just sitting around the house, 131 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,902 but that person would also need access to a fleet of drivers 132 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,904 to transport said spaghetti strainers, 133 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,239 and in order to strain the spaghetti fast enough, 134 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,076 the drivers would also need to be incredibly strong swimmers, 135 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,954 like, just as an example, hot, sexy killer whales. 136 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,623 Is there such a savior who could possibly fit 137 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,668 that ridiculously specific set of criteria? 138 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,867 I don't know, Tom, but as they used to 139 00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:44,279 say on my favorite TV show, let's find out. 140 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,512 A movie, during the day? Dare I? 141 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,722 One for Secretariat, please! 142 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,724 Thank you. 143 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,601 And, now, to turn my phone off. 144 00:07:56,685 --> 00:08:00,772 If anyone needs me in the next two hours, they'll just have to wait. 145 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,817 This tragedy truly puts the "no" into noodle, 146 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,697 the "ruh-roh" in rotelli, and the "oh, man" in manicotti. 147 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,865 Damn it, Randy. Just pick your best one. 148 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,909 - What's going on? - You didn't hear? 149 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,577 They need spaghetti strainers stat, 150 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,789 or it's "pasta la vista" for Pacific Ocean City. 151 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,791 Oh, no! 152 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:24,546 Come on, come on, come on! Pick up, Mr. Peanutbutter! 153 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,715 - Hello? - Oh! Mr. Peanutbutter, we need... 154 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,508 You've reached the voicemail of Mr. Peanutbutter. 155 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,843 No! 156 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:34,097 I'm not just running for me. I'm running for America. 157 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,558 Oh-ho-ho! 158 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,561 Cabracadabblers, to Mr. Peanutbutter's house! 159 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:43,857 Mr. Peanutbutter's House the show, or Mr. Peanutbutter's house the house? 160 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,234 The house. Obviously, the house. 161 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,573 Wow, that was a good movie. 162 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,492 Was it Oscar-worthy? Who's to say? 163 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,328 Ninety-eight messages? Better listen to them all, in order. 164 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,831 Mr. Peanutbutter, call me back as soon as you get this, okay? 165 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,754 We need your strainers. This is life and death. 166 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,877 - Oh, my God! - Mr. Peanutbutter, 167 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,214 I'm at your house with the entire Cabracadabra fleet, but we can't get in! 168 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,591 You need to get over here! 169 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,302 It's a spaghetti-strainer- related emergency. 170 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,555 All right, buddy, just as soon as I listen to these other 96 messages. 171 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,891 Good afternoon, I'm calling from Center Theater Group. 172 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,726 You saw a play once eight years ago. 173 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,187 I wonder if I could interest you in a full season subscription... 174 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,980 Oh, I don't have time for this! 175 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,025 If we don't get some kind of miracle... 176 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,110 Wait! In the distance! Is that...? 177 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,029 No, it can't be! 178 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,951 Spaghetti or not, here I come. 179 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,707 Uh-oh! Uh-oh! 180 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,960 Sabrina, I'm coming down for my birthday surprise! 181 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,378 Oh, no! 182 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,924 Well, I've heard of pasta point of no return, 183 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,051 but this is ridiculous! 184 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,598 Why didn't you just tell me you made too much spaghetti? 185 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:03,228 I thought if you knew I made a big mess that you wouldn't love me anymore. 186 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,563 - Aw! - Sabrina, that's not going to happen. 187 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,690 We're a family now, no matter what, 188 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,026 and I will always be there for you. 189 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:10,944 Okay. 190 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,948 Now, get in that kitchen and eat all that spaghetti. 191 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,785 I gotta eat all that? That's too much, man! 192 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,623 I never understood why the Horsin' Around house 193 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,333 - had two sets of stairs. - What? 194 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,169 One in the living room and one in the kitchen. Why? 195 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,046 Have you ever been in a house like that? 196 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,715 - What are you doing here? - You didn't answer your phone. 197 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,800 I was worried about you. 198 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,305 The funeral was huge. There were so many people there. 199 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,850 I kept thinking, "I did this to her," 200 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,518 and everyone was just standing around 201 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,210 like, "Well, this was bound to happen," 202 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,772 but... it wasn't bound to happen. 203 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,941 I'm really sorry, BoJack. 204 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,317 I don't know how to be, Diane. 205 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,653 It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. 206 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,781 I can't keep lying to myself, saying "I'm gonna change." I'm poison. 207 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,616 - BoJack... - I come from poison. 208 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,786 I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. 209 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,163 That's my legacy. 210 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,290 I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, 211 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,733 and I have nobody in my life who's 212 00:11:06,756 --> 00:11:07,997 better off for having known me. 213 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,336 - That isn't true. - Isn't it, though? 214 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,758 When I was a kid, I used to watch you on TV. 215 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,261 And you know I didn't have the best family. 216 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,138 Things weren't that great for me. 217 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:23,766 But, for half an hour every week, I got to watch this show 218 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,603 about four people who had nobody, 219 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,772 who came together and became a family. 220 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,735 And, for half an hour every week, I had a home, 221 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,862 and it helped me survive. 222 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,707 BoJack, there are millions of people who 223 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,224 are better off for having known you. 224 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,536 Why did you never tell me that? 225 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,415 I guess to preserve some fiction of journalistic objectivity. 226 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,918 - Like that's a thing. - I know you don't want to hear this, 227 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,399 but you're too good to be writing 228 00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:52,903 Instagram captions for celebrities. 229 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,714 - I'm not just... - I'm sorry, but you are. 230 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,133 - You know you are. - Okay. Thank you. 231 00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,803 And I wish you didn't get so distant after you moved out. 232 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,973 - I'm sorry. - You know me better than anybody, 233 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,392 and you can't not be a part of my life. 234 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,357 Tools! This is Brad. 235 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,776 - I want to do Ethan Around. - Oh, very funny. 236 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,486 Is this Jeff from Hammers and More? 237 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,947 - No, it's me, BoJack Horseman. - Wait, really? 238 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:22,492 Yeah. I think now more than ever people need shows like Horsin' Around. 239 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,620 I... need a show like Horsin' Around. 240 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,665 Okay, but this isn't like last time, is it? 241 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,333 Where you say you want to do it, 242 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,536 but then, I find out you don't actually want to do it, 243 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,420 and then, your mean publicist yells at me? 244 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,923 And, at the airport, on the way home, I get one of those big pretzels, 245 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,591 but then, I drop the pretzel on the ground, 246 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,551 and it gets eaten by a ant? 247 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,719 What? No. 248 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,429 You won't regret this, BoJack. 249 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,183 Attention, customers! Please leave and never come back. 250 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,395 Tools! is closed forever. I'm going Hollywoo! 251 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,566 Please, please! I'm no hero. 252 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,944 I'm just a guy with some bowls full of holes. 253 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,404 Thanks again. 254 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,198 It's funny. You help out at one disaster area, 255 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,573 and, suddenly, everybody loves 256 00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:04,933 you, unless you're Sean Penn. 257 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,786 Great PR for Cabracadabra, too. 258 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,204 Yeah, you can't buy that kind of 259 00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:10,105 press, and you can buy most kinds of press. 260 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,500 I hope some of that press makes its way to this reader 261 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,294 because she is not a fan of Cabracadabra. 262 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:19,424 - She hates it. - I don't hate Cabracadabra. 263 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,842 I just think it objectifies women 264 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,278 and contributes to a cheap and 265 00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:24,286 damaging culture of sexist commodification 266 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,015 that undercuts the exact reason it was started in the first place. 267 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,725 But, you know, everything does that. 268 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:33,062 Cosmo does that. Kids' movies, athletic gear... statues. 269 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,995 Yes, but this objectification of 270 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,215 women ended up saving lots of lives, 271 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:41,696 many of whom were also women, so, therefore, not sexist? 272 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,656 I can't argue with that. 273 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,783 Well, the good news is, you don't have to anymore, 274 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,452 because I'm selling the company! 275 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,369 Oh! 276 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,421 You know, it's really too 277 00:13:49,446 --> 00:13:50,645 bad you shut down the agency, 278 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,957 because, if you could've held out for just a couple more months, 279 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,084 right now, Vim would be rolling in money. 280 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,128 I'm really happy for you, 281 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,464 but I'm actually enjoying my time off. 282 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,132 Ralph and I went on vacation. 283 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,176 Can you believe this one had never been to Cairo? 284 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,720 Those Egyptians really know how to treat a cat. 285 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,541 And what do you do, Ralph, that you 286 00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:09,206 can just hop on a plane to Cairo? 287 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,768 Well, I own and operate my own greeting card company, 288 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,686 but everywhere I go, I have a free room. 289 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,773 - Oh, because you're a mouse? - What? No. 290 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,234 - Because I'm a Stilton. - Oh, my God! Like Stilton hotels? 291 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,487 I gotta take this. It's my new agent. 292 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,113 - Hello? - So, anyway... 293 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,240 Another offer? That's incredible! 294 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,326 - Ralph and I... - They want to pay me how much? 295 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,453 That is a lot of zeroes. Sign me up. 296 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,622 What is he doing? You never take the first offer. 297 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,832 Hey, Diane, what have you been up to? 298 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,876 Well, I'm just weighing my options. 299 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,477 I don't want to just jump into my next... 300 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,694 You know what you should do? 301 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,215 Ralph's sister Stefani is starting a new website. 302 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:47,470 It's a feminism/lifestyle/celebrity blog/ newsletter/community hub, 303 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:52,183 and she's looking for a partner/editor/ "bomb-ass super bitch," her words. 304 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,352 You'd be perfect for it. I'll set a meeting. 305 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,105 Yeah, that could be cool. Why don't you give her my info? 306 00:14:57,188 --> 00:15:01,317 No, no. I'll just set a meeting. It's easy. I'm not doing anything else. 307 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,653 - Except enjoying your time off, right? - Right. 308 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,947 Wow, another amazing offer! 309 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,074 It's like everywhere I look, money, money, money! 310 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,660 Even ten percent of this would be quite a windfall. 311 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:16,958 - I like your friends. - Yeah. 312 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,042 And I like this. 313 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,085 Mwah! 314 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,003 - This is working. - I like it, too. 315 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,423 That was smart of you to think of Diane for GirlCrush. 316 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,799 You're always making great connections. 317 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,384 That's probably why you were such a good manager. 318 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,679 - I wasn't a manager. I was an agent. - Oh, right. Sorry. 319 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,602 Well, whatever it was, I'm glad that it's over, 320 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,521 because I don't want to share you with anybody. 321 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,685 Oh, my God! Maybe that was the problem! 322 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,925 Maybe what was the problem? 323 00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,920 All this time, I thought I was an agent, 324 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,983 but what if what I was really supposed to be was a manager? 325 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:42,957 What's the difference? 326 00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:44,885 It's a completely different line of work. 327 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,779 An agent helps a client find jobs, 328 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,574 but a manager helps manage a client's career. 329 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,137 - It sounds exactly the same. - I think I'm having an epiphany. 330 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,370 It's like I've been wearing the wrong bra size this whole time. 331 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,914 Okay, if this is the thing that'll make you happy, 332 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,666 then I totally support you, 333 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,647 but it kind of sounds like you're 334 00:16:00,672 --> 00:16:02,903 just going back to the same sort of job 335 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,630 that made you miserable for the last 20 years. 336 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,924 No, Ralph. Don't you get it? This is a new beginning. 337 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:10,011 - I'm gonna be a manager! - Oh... 338 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,432 - Wow. - Takes you back, doesn't it? 339 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,559 Listen, before everyone gets here tomorrow, 340 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,768 I have a couple notes on the script. 341 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,438 Too many "yowza-yowza bo-bowzas," or not enough? 342 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,106 No. On page 18, 343 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,901 Ethan and the Horse try to get Julia to put on the roller skates, 344 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,068 and she runs out of the room crying, 345 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,904 and then, the Horse says, "That went well." 346 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,313 Anything about that feel weird to you? 347 00:16:30,338 --> 00:16:32,349 No, see, the Horse is being sarcastic. 348 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:35,495 It didn't go well. So, when the Horse says, "That went well," it's funny. 349 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,747 - Dramatic irony. - No, I get the irony. 350 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,583 That's not the issue. This is a guaranteed laugh. 351 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,227 You're giving me the cut to commercial. 352 00:16:42,248 --> 00:16:43,570 And that's a problem for you? 353 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:47,673 This is Ethan Around. It's your show, and we need to tell the audience that. 354 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,843 - You can't give all the best jokes to me. - I don't know, BoJack. 355 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,346 You really think I'm ready for a "That went well"? 356 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,556 - You tell me. Let's hear it. - That went well! 357 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,059 You're pushing too hard. The line's funny. Trust the line. 358 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:58,695 That went well. 359 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,377 Great. Now let me hear you throw it away. 360 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,856 - Oh, like a... That went well. - Yes, that was great! 361 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,691 And that was a great look, with the eyebrow. 362 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,485 - What if we both did that? - Yeah, yeah. 363 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,611 I'm looking at you like, 364 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,113 "This parenting thing is gonna be harder than I thought," 365 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:14,242 and you're looking at me like, "Now you see what I had to go through." 366 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,369 - Exactly. Let's try it. - Well, that went well. 367 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,286 Hmm... 368 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,039 - Oh, my God. Chills. - Yeah, you feel that? 369 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,208 - Yeah. - Now that's how you cut to commercial. 370 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,751 That actually went well. 371 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,425 This place has really gone downhill since they got that new chef. 372 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,262 As I was saying, I don't think the site needs to be just one thing. 373 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:37,848 I think it can be a big umbrella, but, like, also not an umbrella. 374 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,016 That's GirlCroosh. 375 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,851 Sorry, did you say "croosh"? 376 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,563 Oh, you do not need to apologize here, Diane. 377 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,983 "Sorry" is a crutch and "crutch" is an ableist term. 378 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,318 I'm sorry if that shocks you, but I will not apologize for it. 379 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,821 So, can I ask what the business model is here? 380 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,283 Diane, I'm rich. I'm not doing this to make money. 381 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,994 I'm doing this to make connections with real women 382 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,204 and extend my personal brand as a real down-to-earth chica 383 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,368 who cares about real women. 384 00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,915 Well, you know what's great about that is, 385 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,959 if you're not beholden to ad revenue, your writers can... 386 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:08,838 Yes! That is exactly the idea, whatever you were about to say. 387 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,340 I want to give you a real support system, 388 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:15,928 because, honestly, Diane, what you do is so croosh. 389 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,389 That shit you said about Hank Hippopopalous last year 390 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,850 was supernova red hot badass. 391 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,936 It wasn't even on fleek. Fleek was on it. 392 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:24,708 Thank you. 393 00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,796 One thing though. Is anything off limits? 394 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:30,693 Like, if you had to write a piece about your husband, could you do it? 395 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,778 - Why would I have to do that? - I don't know. 396 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,239 Because his company is basically Hooters on wheels? 397 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,367 - He's actually selling that company. - Well, he's still a public figure. 398 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,494 What if Mr. Peanutbutter does something problematic 399 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,738 and you have a real hot take? 400 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,344 If I have a problem with my husband, I'm 401 00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:44,809 gonna talk to him about it directly. 402 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,585 Okay, so what if you did that and he didn't listen, 403 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,046 and you knew that, as much as you love him 404 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:54,717 and as much as he loves you, he's never gonna get it? 405 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,845 And meanwhile, you also knew that all your readers looked up to you 406 00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,431 and wanted to read your opinion? 407 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,016 Would you write about it then? 408 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,811 - You got the job? - I got the job! 409 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,521 Oh, my God! Can you believe it? 410 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:10,107 In the same week, I sell a company for millions of dollars 411 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,401 and you get a job writing for a blog. 412 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,612 When it rains, it pours, huh? 413 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,702 And over here is where you can keep all of your receipts, 414 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,288 in your leaning tower of receipts. 415 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,249 I think my client can handle it from here. 416 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,329 This meeting is just to give you and 417 00:19:29,354 --> 00:19:31,403 the other former partners your money. 418 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:34,006 - Sign here. - Okay. 419 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,884 And here's your check. That's all this needed to be. 420 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,135 Whoa! 421 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,221 This is for eight million dollars. 422 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,224 Well, you are a one-third owner. What did you expect? 423 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,895 Todd, as a millionaire? That'll lead to some interesting stories. 424 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,794 What an exciting development. 425 00:19:49,819 --> 00:19:51,381 How's that gonna change the dynamic? 426 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,652 - I guess we're gonna find out, right? - You can leave now. 427 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,697 Hooray! Todd's in the one percent. 428 00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,865 Oh, uh... 429 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,784 - Hey. - Hi. 430 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,042 Julia, this ice cream is only for girls who try on their roller skates. 431 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:14,755 - So, what do you say? - Uh, I'm gonna swipe left on that idea. 432 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,550 Cut! We got a lighting issue. 433 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,928 What? I'll be in my trailer. 434 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:23,347 - Hey, Chloe, that was really funny. - Thanks. 435 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,551 - Are you having fun? - Mm-hmm. 436 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,817 You got any friends in the audience? 437 00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:29,419 No friends, but my mommy and my daddy. 438 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,189 Oh. You want to know a secret about your mommy and daddy? 439 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,942 - What? - They are really proud of you. 440 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,902 Oh, I know that. 441 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,029 What do you want to be when you grow up, Chloe? 442 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:42,241 What do you mean? I want to be like you. 443 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,035 - Like me? - I want to be famous. 444 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,662 Oh, no. 445 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,790 - BoJack? - Oh, God. 446 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,084 - Is everything okay? - I can't be here. 447 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,919 I can't do this again. This isn't right. 448 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,283 - What do you mean? - I need to go. 449 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,017 We need to shoot the rest of this episode. 450 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,633 I'm sorry. I just... I don't belong here. 451 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:00,760 Where are you going? 452 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,846 I don't know. 453 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,541 So, what are you gonna do with your eight million dollars? 454 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,712 First, I'm gonna get a really fancy hat, like, really fancy. 455 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,381 Then, I'm gonna get a T-shirt that says, "Hey, look at my hat." 456 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,217 What about you? 457 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,803 I've always wanted to go to a super nice restaurant 458 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:45,679 and order everything on the menu. 459 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,599 Oh, yeah! That's, like, first day millionaire stuff. 460 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,185 We should go sometime, together. 461 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,313 - Todd, can I ask you something? - Of course. 462 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,482 What's your deal? 463 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,068 I feel like you like me, but you don't like me, 464 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,820 but you like me, and I don't know what that is. 465 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:01,987 Are you gay? 466 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:03,363 Whoa. Why would you even...? 467 00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:05,557 You can tell me if you're gay. It's fine. 468 00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:08,828 This isn't the 1600s, or some places in the present. 469 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:12,456 I'm not gay. I mean, I don't think I am, 470 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,501 but... I don't think I'm straight, either. 471 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,087 I don't know what I am. 472 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,297 I think I might be nothing. 473 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:23,050 - Oh. Well, that's okay. - Yeah? 474 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,760 Yeah, of course. 475 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,222 Thank you so much. 476 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,686 Oh, crap! I accidentally tipped the waitress eight million dollars! 477 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,854 Well, guess I'm broke again. 478 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,493 Who could that be? 479 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,411 Pizza? 480 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,247 Katrina, you're not pizza. 481 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,040 Ugh. This fight again? 482 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,586 Listen, butt-sniffer, I work for a guy and we're looking for a guy. 483 00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:00,671 You're supposed to be this big hero now, 484 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,715 so someone brought your name up in a meeting, 485 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,466 and, now, I have an opportunity for you. 486 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,058 Oh, is it being married to you 487 00:23:06,083 --> 00:23:08,244 again? Because I'd rather get euthanized. 488 00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,888 Spoiler alert from Marley & Me. 489 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,182 That wasn't a spoiler until you said the name of the movie. 490 00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:13,538 If you've got a gig for me, you 491 00:23:13,563 --> 00:23:14,876 can go through my new manager. 492 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,396 Oh, I'm not talking about a gig. 493 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,741 Then what are you talking about? 494 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,966 Oh, my God, this is so classic Katrina! 495 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:25,112 How would you like to be the governor? 496 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,905 Whoa. 497 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,866 - Of California? - Yes, of California. 498 00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:31,452 Who's at the door? Is it pizza? 499 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,831 Welcome back. Your first meeting's at 10:00, 500 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,249 and you have a lunch at 11:30. 501 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,373 - Thank you, Judah. - Also, I have someone on line two 502 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,878 trying to get in touch with BoJack Horseman. 503 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,356 I have no idea how she got this 504 00:23:42,381 --> 00:23:44,405 number. It sounds like it's a teenage girl. 505 00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:46,717 Tell her I don't work for BoJack. 506 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,761 Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. We can't help you. 507 00:25:00,693 --> 00:25:06,605 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com ...