1 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,140 Whew. 2 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,519 - BoJack? - I'm back in L.A. 3 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,230 - I should have called you... - Yeah. You should have. 4 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,357 - I said I was sorry. - No, you didn't. 5 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,985 - Okay. Good to hear from you, BoJack. - No... 6 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,820 Ugh. 7 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,286 What the...? 8 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,747 Okay, thank you. 9 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,415 What's going on here? 10 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,919 Fundraising dinner for the Peanutbutter for California campaign. 11 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:47,005 - All right, I'm just gonna... - Sorry. It's a fundraiser. 12 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,757 - Uh... - BoJack! 13 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,759 I love your ironic take on black-tie attire. 14 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:54,012 It really says, "I truly don't care what you think of me." 15 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,536 This light bulb won't let me in to your house without paying. 16 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,726 Ah, sorry about that. Gotta raise those funds. 17 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,810 - Can't I just... - Thanks for your support, buddy. 18 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,522 - Means so much. Erica! - Hey... 19 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,899 Look at you, with the right number of ears! 20 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,193 - Look, I just... - Twenty thousand dollars a plate. 21 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,115 Hmm...! 22 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,199 Oh. 23 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,494 Hey, do you have another bathroom? They're all occupied, and I gotta pee. 24 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,079 Not because I'm pregnant or anything. 25 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:22,042 Because if I were pregnant, it would be bad luck to tell you this early. 26 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,882 Presuming it was early. But I'm not pregnant. 27 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,586 This is just a normal, non-pregnant gal type of having to pee. 28 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,070 - There's a bathroom in the pool house. - You're a lifesaver. 29 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,465 Pardon me! Out of my way. 30 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,217 Uh-oh. Am I in Ithaca? 31 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,678 Because you are looking "gorges" this evening. 32 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:39,308 Well, I must be in Nazi Germany, because you're "not so" bad yourself. 33 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,601 - I'm sorry, yours was better. - Hi. 34 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,061 Whoa. 35 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,521 Well, I should go. 36 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:49,276 Looks like the work wife/ex-wife is talking to my other ex-wife. 37 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,321 - You have two ex-wives here? - Katrina's his campaign manager. 38 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,884 And Jessica Biel loves 39 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,834 getting photographed at fancy fundraisers. 40 00:01:55,858 --> 00:02:00,203 If it isn't my two favorite ladies, in the same room! This is great. 41 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,913 - Hey. - BoJack, I'm busy. 42 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,677 You haven't seen me for a year and a half. 43 00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:05,941 Yeah, because you disapp... No, I am not doing this now. 44 00:02:05,999 --> 00:02:08,319 - Why don't you get yourself a drink? - I will get a drink. 45 00:02:08,343 --> 00:02:11,222 I will get $20,000 worth of drinks. 46 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,302 Oh, Norman, we have to support the... 47 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,779 - Ooh, yes. - All right. 48 00:02:17,959 --> 00:02:19,526 Hi, Zach Braff. Zach Braff. 49 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,808 Hey there. Famous actor Zach Braff, how you doing? 50 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,972 Everyone? 51 00:02:23,024 --> 00:02:24,460 Thank you all for being here. 52 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,939 We're gonna beat that scoundrel Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz... 53 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,232 Boo! 54 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,488 and bring likability back to politics. 55 00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:35,168 I especially want to thank my 56 00:02:35,273 --> 00:02:37,419 pro-fracking pals for being here tonight. 57 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,119 You know, my wife said, "Don't frack," but we did it anyway, 58 00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:42,484 and it all worked out. 59 00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:44,289 - Love you, sweetie. - Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,416 Finally... oh! Sorry about that, folks. 61 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,460 I sensed an earthquake. Must have been a false... 62 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,961 Oh, hey now! 63 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,797 Nope, I was definitely wrong. 64 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,383 Listen to me, I'm the dog who cried earthquake. 65 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,971 - We're gonna die! - Oh, fudge! 66 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,182 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - I can't die! 67 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:06,103 I'm not famous enough yet to make the "In Memoriam" montage at the Oscars! 68 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,562 I have so many regrets! 69 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,482 I just picked up a family sitcom where the mom is a zombie! 70 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:14,903 It's called Mombie, and it's terrible! 71 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:18,115 I have a condition where every time I sense a shift in power dynamics, 72 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,658 I have a tiny orgasm! 73 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,327 I have no original ideas, I just repeat things I hear. 74 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,663 - I've never been in love! - I've never been in love! 75 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,540 I tried gay at theater camp! 76 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,835 I regret everything! 77 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,755 Whoa! 78 00:04:24,377 --> 00:04:29,377 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com. 79 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,196 Hello? 80 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,576 Is anyone getting any bars? I'm not getting any baa-rs. 81 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:48,413 Can someone validate my valet ticket? I would like to go home now. 82 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,001 There's no way out. Okay. Everybody stay sane. 83 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,253 I propose we set each other on fire for warmth. 84 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,881 Who wants to be set on fire first? Not me, I'm Jessica Biel. 85 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,257 Yeah, that's right. 86 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,661 The natives are getting restless, 87 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,386 so why don't you say something to comfort them? 88 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,722 Okay. Everyone, remain calm! 89 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,600 No one's going to light anyone on fire. 90 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,443 For one thing, that'd eat up a lot of oxygen 91 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,145 and who knows how much we have down here. 92 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,898 - I want oxygen! - Air! I need air! 93 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,068 God. 94 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,153 - You okay, sweetie? - I think so. 95 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,155 - That was really scary. - Yeah. 96 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,199 At least we know no one is specifically at fault. 97 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,784 Well, except for San Andreas. 98 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,954 This was because you fracked under our house. 99 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,040 I told you fracking was dangerous, and you didn't listen. 100 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,752 And now our house is ruined and we're trapped underground, 101 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,629 and we're all going to die! 102 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:42,217 - Is this one of our sexy fights? - No! 103 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,176 Hmm. 104 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,473 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 105 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,518 You can be mad at me or get drunk with me, but you can't do both. 106 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,102 Watch me. 107 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,941 Oh, what the shit? 108 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,531 - Oh, fish. - Uh... hello? 109 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,285 - What are you doing in there? - Uh, I live here. 110 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,453 Didn't you know there was a huge party going on? 111 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,831 I was going to go to the party after my bath, 112 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:16,293 but then I realized the bath was the party. 113 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,211 Oh, God. 114 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,964 Well, I'm not waiting around to be rescued like some chump. 115 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,299 Come on, let's go. 116 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,219 Whoa...! 117 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,017 - We gotta go in there? - Well, I don't see any other way. 118 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,978 Sometimes life is like the second season of Friday Night Lights... 119 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,856 You gotta push through and hope there's better stuff ahead. 120 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,107 Aw-ww! 121 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:46,197 Guys, let's all try to just stay cool and make the best of things, huh? 122 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,784 "Make the best of things"? You idiot, we're trapped and we're terrified. 123 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,621 Okay, settle down, you future hard Jeopardy question. 124 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,623 Let's hear what the idiot has to say. 125 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,833 So that's are-up on the idiot part? 126 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,169 How are we supposed to make the best of things? 127 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,372 - We're stuck underground. - This is true. 128 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,169 But most of us are important celebrities, 129 00:07:04,239 --> 00:07:06,165 so someone will come for us soon. 130 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,970 And for you regulars, I'm sure they'll bring you up with us! 131 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,347 What do we do till then? 132 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,767 We're actors! I say we put on a show. Who's with me? 133 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,394 A show? Who will be the star? Me, I assume. 134 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,855 Sure you'll be the star, and you'll be the star! 135 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,983 And you'll be the star! We'll all be the star! 136 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:25,779 Folks, I promise you we will be out of here in no time. 137 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,533 And that's when I realized... 138 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,620 I just don't have the face for bangs. 139 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,665 Oh, my God, thank you so much. You're too kind! Thank you. 140 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:40,961 Thank you, Phoebe, for that rousing Tale from the Above Ground. Who's next? 141 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,963 I can't take this anymore. I need to get out. 142 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,090 This is the longest I've gone without moisturizing, 143 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,800 - and I feel like a lizard! - Humph. 144 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,927 - No offense. - It's only been 72 hours. 145 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,305 I'm missing my general meeting at CBS. I'm supposed to get baa-ck to work. 146 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,709 I can't live like this! We've gotta light someone on fire. 147 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:58,395 I'm starting to think that less-famous Michelle Monaghan has the right idea 148 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,313 - about lighting people on fire. - Thank you. 149 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:03,692 Come on, party people, keep it together. Let's not forget why we're here... 150 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,527 To raise money for my campaign, 151 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,989 and more recently, to not go crazy and murder each other. 152 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:13,952 Can someone please bring me my car? It's a Prius. A silver Prius. 153 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,787 You're killing me, Zach. 154 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,164 Mr. Peanutbutter, you can do this. 155 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,250 Be the leader that I know you can be. 156 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,794 Yeah. You're right. I've totally got this. 157 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,212 What in the world? 158 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,757 "Vox clamantis in deserto." 159 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,260 - It is I. - Woodchuck Coodchuck-Berkowitz! 160 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,469 - We're saved! - Wow! 161 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,679 Oh, thank God. A leader. 162 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,962 Sh. 163 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,683 What's going on down here? Anyone's looking for us? 164 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,768 We're cool. Just being cool, don't worry. 165 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,147 Diane, have you just been getting drunk with BoJack this whole time? 166 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,150 What? I'm still mad at you. 167 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,986 - Citizens, remain calm. - Yeah, that's what I've been saying! 168 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,572 Rescue workers are coming but it could be a while. 169 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,533 State emergency funds have been depleted due to budget overruns 170 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,828 on a costly bridge to Hawaii that's being constructed. 171 00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:57,893 Oh, yeah! 172 00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:00,832 Since a woodchuck is a digging animal, I came to get you out early. 173 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:05,170 Is that what a woodchuck is? Why did I think it was like a beaver? 174 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,813 What's it like out there, Woodchuck? Whole neighborhood totaled? 175 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,592 - Is the city in chaos? - No, it's really just your house. 176 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:14,262 Because of all the fracking that's been happening underneath your house. 177 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,723 Oh! Interesting! 178 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,266 - Ay-yi-yi. - Oh, right, right. 179 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:23,229 So you just burrowed down here to rescue your political opponent's top donors. 180 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,355 That's convenient. 181 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,441 It was actually very inconvenient, 182 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:30,528 but I put politics aside to save you people from dying. 183 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,405 Three cheers for Woodchuck! 184 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,573 Hip, hip, hooray! 185 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,326 Please, don't cheer too loudly. The tunnel is very delicate. 186 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,609 - Hip, hip, hooray! - Seriously, I think it's best to... 187 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,288 Hip, hip, hooray! 188 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,606 - Let's cheer one more time, 189 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,778 - just for fun! - No, please. 190 00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:49,631 - Four cheers. Why not? Hip, hip... - Hooray! 191 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,132 No! 192 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:59,599 So turns out three cheers was probably an adequate number of cheers. 193 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,149 - What was that? - Just keep walking. 194 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,567 God, I can't wait to get home. 195 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,236 I don't even have a home anymore. 196 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:15,615 Oh, man, where am I going to keep all my different colored hats I never wear? 197 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,576 Well, if you need another couch to crash on, there's always my place. 198 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,455 - Didn't you move in with Ralph? - Yeah, but I kept the old apartment. 199 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,166 - Just in case, I guess. - In case of what? 200 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,690 What was that? 201 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,378 Whoa! 202 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,130 Oh! 203 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,969 Now, ladies, just calm down. We can talk about this. 204 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,064 What are we gonna do, Princess Carolyn? 205 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,394 Did you say you're a princess? 206 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,230 - That's just my name. I'm a manager. - It's like an agent. 207 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,440 - It's totally different. - Is it, though? 208 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:53,444 - Silence! You negotiate deals? - Mm-hmm. 209 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:57,699 You could be of service, Manager Carolyn. 210 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,539 My hands... they're crushed. 211 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,583 There's no way I can dig us back out now. 212 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,750 Well, I can dig! 213 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,878 Actually, no one should dig. 214 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,130 Your foundation is basically Swiss cheese. 215 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,697 The slightest provocation, 216 00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:15,879 could cause another collapse that would crush us all. 217 00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:20,305 I know that because I bought a sitcom about fracking, The Frack Shack. 218 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,057 It's New Girl meets fracking. 219 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,351 Oh, God, no one's gonna watch that show, huh? 220 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,315 Someone will be coming for us soon. In the meantime, we must organize. 221 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,734 Parcel out food and water and see how much we've got. 222 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,404 - I'll assign team leaders. - Oh, no. I'm sensing a shift in power. 223 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,661 All right. Um... 224 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,372 - God...! - For you, a banana 225 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,083 - because you're so appealing. - Yeah. 226 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,085 And for you, a radish. Enjoy. 227 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,879 Mr. Peanutbutter, this is a disaster. 228 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:56,341 I don't think so. I'm food captain, and I am loving it. 229 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,468 - And who made you the food captain? - Woodchuck. 230 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,637 Exactly. He's in charge. 231 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,556 Excuse me, you have not been allocated those rations. 232 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,226 I'm a horse. I need more food, and I'm a celebrity. 233 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,979 - Everyone down here is a celebrity. - Not the caterers. 234 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,564 Relinquish the food. 235 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,066 Hey. Here's your chance. 236 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:18,905 Actually, Woodchuck, this is my house and BoJack can eat whatever he wants. 237 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:22,033 This man has already reached his allotted food portion for the day. 238 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,868 Who said we have to go by your rules? 239 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,329 Yeah, who made you leader of underground? 240 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,039 I'm just gonna take all this and... 241 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,541 You've appointed me. Yes, I under... citizens, look... 242 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,919 Keep it together. 243 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,339 Weird stuff going on downstairs. 244 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,590 Humph. 245 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,551 - I can't believe this is my life. - Uh-oh. 246 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:43,137 Too much sad booze for you. Where's the happy booze? 247 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:46,224 I'm trapped underground and it's all my husband's fault 248 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:51,270 and I'm gonna die in this mansion in a mass grave with his ex-wives. 249 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,815 Okay. But on the bright side... 250 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:58,194 Look, Mr. Peanutbutter loves you, you got a cool job, you got friends. 251 00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,779 Jesus, you're right. 252 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,074 Even when I was above ground, I wasn't satisfied. 253 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:06,244 Oh, my God. I'm the problem! 254 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,207 Whoa! 255 00:13:11,232 --> 00:13:12,305 What the...? 256 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,546 Why can't I be happy? Am I busted? 257 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,922 No. It... 258 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,675 I am! I'm a pit. 259 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:24,554 I'm a pit that good things fall into! 260 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,972 Diane, you're not a pit. 261 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,100 I'm a pit! 262 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:37,025 I can't believe I'm crying. This is so dumb. 263 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,861 It's okay. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. 264 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,572 You disappeared for a year and a half. 265 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,495 So you do want to talk about it. Just took four solid days of drinking. 266 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,828 If you were back in L.A., why didn't you call me? 267 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:52,415 - I wasn't... ready. - Ready? For what? 268 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,043 I wanted to be better when you saw me again. 269 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,129 And I thought I could be, somehow. But I'm not. 270 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,174 And even if I did get better, the best I could ever be 271 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,761 is still just some other version of me. 272 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,681 BoJack, I can't wait for you to be better. 273 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,767 I need you in my life. 274 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,478 - Really? - You're the biggest asshole I know, 275 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,105 and you're the only thing that makes sense to me. 276 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,946 People should be able to have some control over their lives down here. 277 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,907 - Yeah! - People need boundaries. 278 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,242 Leadership means sometimes being the bad guy. 279 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,995 You hear that? Woodchuck's a bad guy! 280 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,789 I don't want a bad guy to be our leader. 281 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,992 - That's not... - That's a point for Mr. Peanutbutter. 282 00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:37,502 And I'm the good guy, so that's two points for me. 283 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,087 What points? There are no points. 284 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,923 - This is not a game! - Well, maybe there should be points. 285 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,216 - Yeah! - Points! 286 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,844 People seem to like my points idea. That's another point for me. 287 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,764 Well, I'm the one who came down here to save you in the first place. 288 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,349 Surely I get points for that. 289 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,497 Asking for points is conceited. That's more points for me. 290 00:14:54,536 --> 00:14:55,716 - He's right! - What? 291 00:14:55,755 --> 00:14:57,814 If you came down to save us, why are we still here? 292 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,897 Yeah! 293 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,566 You had one job, and you couldn't do it! 294 00:15:00,591 --> 00:15:01,687 - Yeah! - That's right. 295 00:15:01,712 --> 00:15:02,860 Minus point for Woodchuck. 296 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,072 I implore you not to fall into a mob mentality. 297 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,825 - He called us a mob! Let's kill him! - Yeah! 298 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,537 Folks, Woodchuck's political philosophy is as broken as his hands. 299 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,289 That is a convincing argument. He does have broken hands. 300 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,626 Maybe it's time an outsider took control. 301 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:22,672 An outsider like me, the guy whose house this is. 302 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,258 Peanutbutter, Peanutbutter. 303 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,676 Peanutbutter... everybody. 304 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,137 Peanutbutter! Peanutbutter! 305 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,221 Peanutbutter! 306 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,389 - Me! - Peanutbutter! 307 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,807 - Me! - Peanutbutter! 308 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,851 Peanutbutter! Peanutbutter... 309 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,936 BoJack. BoJack. 310 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,104 - BoJack. - What? 311 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,398 - Did you know I can juggle? - Cool. 312 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,693 Are you okay? I mean, outside of our current situation 313 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,862 of being buried alive and almost out of alcohol 314 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,947 except for cooking sherry and Midori? 315 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,534 It's just been a rough couple years with Sarah Lynn dying and Herb. 316 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,202 - And Corduroy? - Cordu-what now? 317 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:58,332 Corduroy? Jackson-Jackson? Died of autoerotic "asphyx-ization"? 318 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,918 Oh, yeah, him too. And now I got this... 319 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,006 girl in my house, this... daughter-type. 320 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,258 You got daughter? Ruh-roh. 321 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,635 Yeah, I got daughter, "ruh-roh." 322 00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:11,697 Supposed to help her figure out who her mother is. 323 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,001 But I don't know where to start. 324 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,434 Did she try sending mutual consent form to the adoption agency? 325 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,643 What, what words? 326 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:21,355 Well, if it's closed adoption, you send a mutual consent form. 327 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,816 Basically says, "I wanna be open now!" 328 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:28,446 If Mom says same thing, boom-bah-boo! Smo-pen Sesame! 329 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,073 - How do you know about that? - I had an adopted brother. 330 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,367 And also for a while, I hoped I was adopted. 331 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,369 - Ugh! - Huh. 332 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,623 - Whoa! - Ooh! 333 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,960 Who dares disturb Queen Antonia? 334 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,378 My name is Princess Carolyn. 335 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,465 I represent the soldiers of Subcolony K-147, 336 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,801 who feel they're doing all the work while reaping none of the spoils. 337 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:54,597 Everything my soldiers do benefits the colony. 338 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,183 I had this same conversation with Jeffrey Katzenberg. 339 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,268 Believe me, this doesn't end well for you. 340 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,103 What are your demands? 341 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,191 They want to have sex with your drones. 342 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,109 My drones? 343 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,112 Mm-hmm. 344 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,448 Oliver, assemble the small council. 345 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,160 Uh, If we're gonna be down here a while, can I get a new towel? 346 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,457 Woodchuck's aa-always telling us what to do! 347 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,585 He says help is coming, but how does he know? What if he's lying? 348 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:27,547 And I have still not been validated! 349 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,131 If you could all be patient... 350 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,634 We're sick of waiting! It's time for new leadership. 351 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,344 That attempted movie star is right! 352 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:37,297 I declare Mr. Peanutbutter President-for-life of Underground. 353 00:17:37,328 --> 00:17:38,437 Yeah! 354 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,934 Uh, uh, oh! 355 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,394 - Thank you! - What? No! 356 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,105 - What do we do with Woodchuck? - He must be made an example of. 357 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,273 - Get him! - Yeah! 358 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,358 All right, guys, all right. Calm down. 359 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,653 We don't need to "get him." Let's just tie him up someplace 360 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,072 where he can't hurt us anymore with his dangerous ideas. 361 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:57,368 Do not tie me up. That isn't necessary. No, don't... no...! 362 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,703 - Peanutbutter! - No! 363 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,330 - Peanutbutter! - Thank you, thank you all. 364 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:05,376 As my first act as President-for-life, I declare that everyone 365 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,296 is allowed to eat and drink whatever they want! 366 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,755 Yeah! 367 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,387 Agh...! 368 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:17,888 I'm starving, 369 00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,516 and not the normal celebrity kind of starving like I always am. 370 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,018 Or even red-carpet-season starving. 371 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,437 - Where's the food? - You ate all the food. 372 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:26,790 This is it! 373 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,900 Nobody's coming for us. We need to kill someone for food. 374 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,944 - Hmm...! - Oh...! 375 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,404 Let's eat Mr. Peanutbutter! 376 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,740 He has the word "peanut butter" in his name! 377 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:36,823 Yeah! 378 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:40,244 Guys, guys, guys, maybe we don't need to eat anybody! 379 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,829 What's this now? 380 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,952 Let's listen to the guy who's saying don't kill me. 381 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,499 He's got some interesting ideas. 382 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,126 Listen to me, everyone. Please. 383 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:50,379 I'm known for monologues that sum things up at the end of the show. 384 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,798 I drive a Prius, which means I'm a good person. 385 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,635 Let's not surrender to our basest instincts. 386 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,721 I know times are tough, but I'm sure if we band together 387 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,973 and really concentrate on the problem at hand, 388 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,225 we can, as a group of friends... 389 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,063 - Oh, my God. - Biel! 390 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,359 The rule of man is over. Now begins the rule of fire. 391 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:14,070 - Oh, why? - Jessica, no. 392 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,488 I will no longer be shackled 393 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,115 by the civilized society of the above ground. 394 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:21,869 This is Underground, and the only law here is flame. 395 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,915 The fire wants not for justice. The fire wants not for reason. 396 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,669 - The fire desires only to be fed! - Feed the fire! 397 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,880 - The fire is my new god! - Oh, God! 398 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,716 I'm so sorry, Mr. Peanutbutter, but the tide has turned 399 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,677 and I side with the fire now. 400 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,179 Tonight, we dine on Zach Braff. 401 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,182 - Tomorrow, canine cuisine! - No. 402 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,226 You, take him to his spot, and make him stay. 403 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,811 No! No! Please! 404 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,938 Listen to reason... this time! 405 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,066 Ah-hh! 406 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,317 I think that's all of it. 407 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:56,529 I can't go back to my old life sober. It's so empty. 408 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,948 Okay, okay. Here's the secret to being happy. 409 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,700 Oh, I can't wait to hear this. 410 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,540 Just pretend you are happy, 411 00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:04,644 and eventually you'll forget you're pretending. 412 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,746 Maybe you're right. 413 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,791 I just need to stop complaining and work harder. 414 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,544 Everyone else is doing it. Why am I so special? 415 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,379 Lock him in here! 416 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,689 - Please! Diane, my sweet wife. - What's going on? 417 00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:17,734 Marvin Gaye. 418 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:20,219 The People of Underground have a new god, the fire. 419 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,139 And for my crimes I will be fed to its ravenous flames. 420 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,975 My only hope is the meat of Zach Braff proves lasting, 421 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,894 but I fear by daybreak, there will be no Braff meat left. 422 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,939 - What's going on? - Four Non-Blondes. 423 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,399 Everybody out except the prisoner. 424 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,042 - No! - Easy on the merchandise! 425 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,110 Get off me! 426 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,031 Well, it's been a tough week, lots of back and forth, 427 00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:44,201 but I think we've reached an agreement that meets everybody's needs. 428 00:20:44,235 --> 00:20:46,555 "The queen will share male sex servants with the soldiers" 429 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,622 for one night of magnificent, sensuous splendor, 430 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,499 a gorgeous bacchanal of hedonistic delights, 431 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,669 "with a second orgy pickup option, pursuant on success of the first." 432 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,964 My clients are satisfied with those terms. 433 00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,134 Great. Now can we please return to the surface world? 434 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,678 All my favorite clouds are up there. 435 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:07,141 Oh, I like this one. He's got moxie and a soft thorax. 436 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:11,645 How did you find your fleshy self in my kingdom, you pink marshmallow? 437 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:14,190 We were at this big Beverly Hills fundraiser. 438 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,610 There was an earthquake, and now everyone's trapped underground. 439 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,696 Did you say Beverly Hills? Ugh! Of course. 440 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,365 Surface dwellers are always moving in on our territory. 441 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:26,285 First they move here, then taxes go up, 442 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,579 the next thing you know, there's a Whole Foods. 443 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,915 How am I supposed to concentrate on a great orgy 444 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,958 when I've got gentrification on my mind? 445 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,878 No, we've got to get those interlopers out of here. 446 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,047 - Let's... - Hey! Hold on. 447 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,012 - Uh... - Mr. Peanutbutter, 448 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:48,474 did you or did you not tell us we could eat whatever we wanted? 449 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,683 Peanutbutter! 450 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:52,645 Peanutbutter! Peanutbutter! Peanutbutter! 451 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:53,979 We gotta do something. 452 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:57,066 Mr. Peanutbutter's the only non-shitty thing that's ever happened to me 453 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,901 and now they're gonna set him on fire. 454 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,487 Okay. What would non-hungover Diane do? She's smart. 455 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,405 I don't know. I need water. 456 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,991 There is no more water. That's the problem. 457 00:22:06,016 --> 00:22:07,106 "Choodwuck" is right. 458 00:22:07,145 --> 00:22:11,497 Wait, isn't there water, under the ground? Like, a well? 459 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:15,960 - Yeah! And we're underground. - If we dig, we'll get water! 460 00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,113 Do not dig. The ground is very volatile. 461 00:22:18,168 --> 00:22:20,261 Quiet, sky rodent! To the shovels! 462 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,051 Mr. Peanutbutter, your time is nigh. 463 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:27,054 Any last words before we light you on fire? 464 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:31,058 Yes, if I could just say, "Don't light me on fire"? 465 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:35,771 The fire bends to no man's will. Nothing can defeat the fire. Only... 466 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:36,855 Water! 467 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,108 What? 468 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,570 - Oh, wow, it's really water. - Water is stronger than fire. 469 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:44,863 Wait, let's not really forget how... ugh! 470 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,407 Water is my new god now! 471 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,367 Oh, boy. 472 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,411 - Clear gold! - All right, water! 473 00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:54,248 H-2-Oh, boy, we hit the freaking jackpot! 474 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,333 Hang on. It's... it's not stopping. 475 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,168 Which is great! 476 00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:00,254 You hit a pipe, you drunken imbeciles. 477 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:02,047 H-2-Oh, no! 478 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,304 Well, I guess this is it. 479 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,974 Oh, God! It's another earthquake! 480 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,104 How is this happening? 481 00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:20,774 Heave! Heave! Heave! 482 00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,985 Get them out of here! 483 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,446 Okay. 484 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,282 No! Please! I'm important down here! 485 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,409 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 486 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:40,502 Oh, what an eyesore. The HOA will be hearing about this. 487 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:47,843 We are never talking about any of this ever again. Whew. 488 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,763 So I will see you tomorrow. We've got a rally in Bakersfield 489 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,307 and then we're touring a tennis ball factory in Modesto. 490 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:54,558 Okay. 491 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,227 - Hi. - Hi. 492 00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:59,229 You're the best thing that ever happened to me. 493 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,357 - I don't tell you that enough. - It's okay. 494 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:04,735 If this governor thing is really important to you... 495 00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:07,655 It's not. You saw me in there. I'm a terrible leader. 496 00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,324 I don't want to be governor. I just wanted people to like me. 497 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,201 Well, I like you. 498 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:15,037 Come on, Diane, let's go home... 499 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,497 oh, right. 500 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,300 Well, thanks for inviting me to your party. 501 00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:21,251 I had a wonderful time. Evening really flew by. 502 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,335 Sure. 503 00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:28,037 - You guys hungry? - I could eat. 504 00:24:28,062 --> 00:24:29,160 Ethiopian? 505 00:24:29,185 --> 00:24:31,077 Ooh, haven't done Ethiopian in a while. 506 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:33,972 I should go home. I haven't seen my boyfriend in ten days. 507 00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:35,349 He's probably worried about me. 508 00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:38,936 I'm down for Ethiopian. I love that sponge bread. 509 00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:41,689 - What do they call it, "injera"? - Yeah, injera. 510 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,108 - Injera, right. - That's right. 511 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,652 Yeah, that's good bread. 512 00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:32,208 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com. 513 00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:36,035 Boxer vs. Raptor.