1 00:00:01,518 --> 00:00:05,004 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,403 Nothing's lonelier than a party. 3 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:31,448 Good thing I don't need anyone or I might feel lonesome. 4 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,368 - Watch your six. - I'd rather watch your six. 5 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,991 Hmm. 6 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,662 - What the hell? - Cut! 7 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,924 Come on, guys. Pay attention. The squib didn't fire. 8 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,593 - What did I do? - Not you. Squib. Squib. 9 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,720 - The squib. - I don't need any help. Thank you. 10 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,429 - You're doing great, BoJack. - Yeah? 11 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:59,184 And I did a great job watching you, which is most of what producing is. 12 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,186 We're doing it, buddy! First day! 13 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,814 Listen, I still have some questions about my character, 14 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,900 and the script, and the show, and you asking me to do this show, 15 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,945 - and me saying, "Yes". - Hey, can we get rid of Philbert's watch? 16 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,155 The network doesn't want us to remind the audience 17 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,656 about the existence of clocks. 18 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:17,744 And why we're making a TV show for What-Time-Is-It-Right-Now-dot-com, 19 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,622 which is a website for people who don't know their computers 20 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,834 already have built-in clocks at the corner of the screen? 21 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,617 All your questions will be answered. 22 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,088 But in the meantime, would it kill you to smile? 23 00:02:22,548 --> 00:02:26,240 5x01 - The Light Bulb Scene 24 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,736 Dierdre! I should have known! 25 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,490 Just like a bitch to shoot me in the heart, bitch. 26 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:41,036 Good thing I carry this flask full of my dead wife's blood around. 27 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,028 And, cut. 28 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,916 Hey, Flip. Can I ask why I'm calling her a bitch twice? 29 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,877 The first bitch is her. The second bitch is your heart. 30 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,129 Okay, you know, I have some questions about my character. 31 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,221 - I have two minutes. - Okay, well, my first question is... 32 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,431 - BoJack Horseman... - Oh, jeez. Here we go. 33 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,685 and Mr. Peanutbutter on the same studio backlot? 34 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,935 - One sec... - What is this? 35 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,813 - A mismatched buddy comedy... - No. 36 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,565 about two guys from different sides of the tracks 37 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,443 who learn to respect each other because they have a common interest? 38 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,278 - Who's this guy? - Ignore him. Why... 39 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,906 And a grudging respect blossoms into real friendship 40 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,867 as they set aside their differences to achieve a shared goal... 41 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,786 - Stop it. - ... each bringing their own strength 42 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,706 to the table, and possibly there's a karaoke scene? 43 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,167 Why does John Philbert's house look the same as my house? 44 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,835 I've never been to your house. 45 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,964 The set was designed to reflect Detective Philbert. 46 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:39,136 Spare, lonely, precariously balanced on a hill of his own isolation. 47 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,680 It kind of looks like David Boreanaz's house. 48 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,682 The set designer actually took a tour there. 49 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,642 Oh, that's very interesting. 50 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,892 Why are you here? 51 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,105 I'm playing Julius Caesar on the stage next door, in a movie! 52 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,731 Well, it's a short film. 53 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,648 - I gotta run. - Wait! 54 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,569 I'll see you next time I'm Roman around the lot! 55 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,029 - Flip, when can we talk? - Tomorrow morning. 56 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,533 - Hi. - Hey. 57 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,459 Yikes, was that it? You done? 58 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,584 Wow. 59 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,285 Sorry, I can't do you. 60 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,589 I'm too distracted, I'd just do a bad job. 61 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,258 You know your own body better than me anyway so just go to town. 62 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,341 Yeah, I'm gonna go. 63 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,137 Wait, Gina. Can I ask you a question, about you? 64 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,179 Uh-huh? 65 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,683 Do you think I'm right, and the Philbert character is poorly written, 66 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,019 and Flip needs to write him better, so I don't look so bad? 67 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,271 Look, I do one of these shows every year. 68 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,774 And I keep getting hired because I show up, do the work, 69 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,857 and keep my head down. 70 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,611 But do you love this script? Do you love your character? 71 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,405 Do I love Internal Affairs Director Sassy Malone, 72 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,074 whose primary character traits are that she hates bras 73 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,575 and loves cold rooms? 74 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,120 Not especially. It feels gratuitous and male-gazey. 75 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,623 But it pays for my expensive habit of having a mortgage 76 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,958 - in Southern California. - You don't have to go. 77 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,083 We could hang out. 78 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,962 I'm sure you don't wanna be all alone in a house by yourself. 79 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,465 No, I love being alone. I wish I were alone right now. 80 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,437 Huh. 81 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,994 BoJack? Why are you up? 82 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,913 I could ask you the same question. 83 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,123 Now you're in college you don't need to sleep anymore? 84 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,707 No, I was sleeping. 85 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,334 You called me and woke me up. 86 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,335 Oh, right. 87 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,713 I wanted you to know that I hearted your Instagram photo. 88 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,464 Okay, cool. 89 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,924 Well, there were 23 other hearts. 90 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:45,053 But I don't know if you know who they're all from, but one was from me. 91 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,347 Yeah, they let me know. 92 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,130 Oh, cool, cool. 93 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,018 Okay, I'm going back to sleep. 94 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:55,438 Fine, but this phone call does not replace our weekly Sunday call. Okay? 95 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,900 Yeah, I'll talk to you Sunday afternoon. 96 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,684 Yes. Good. Because I miss you. 97 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,822 Sorry, that sounded dumb. I don't miss you, I'm just bored. 98 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,617 - That also sounded dumb. - I miss you too, BoJack. 99 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,664 Good morning, lovebugs! 100 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,294 Don't mind me, just passing through! Not sneaking a peek at the lovebugs! 101 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,754 There's nothing to see that would embarrass any of us. 102 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,173 - We are all fully clothed. - Ha-ha. If you say so! 103 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,719 What are you gonna do while I'm at work all day? 104 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,430 There's an old frog who lives down in the L.A. River. 105 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:32,601 He owes me an egg salad sandwich, on account of a caper we once went on. 106 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,394 - What? - I was gonna see if he wants 107 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,230 to make instruments out of shoeboxes and rubber bands. 108 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,149 And, uh, that will satisfy you? 109 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,568 When your life is ends, and you're looking back at this day, 110 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,351 you'll think that was a good day? 111 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,812 Yeah? 112 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,829 Well, from your preliminary paperwork you seem like a perfect candidate. 113 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,248 Thanks, I just never thought it would be like this. 114 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,168 I mean, my mom popped out kids by the dozen. And I can't even... 115 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,254 Mnh-mnh. Princess Carolyn, is your name Cutie Cutie Cupcake? 116 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:04,466 - No, that's... - Were you born on August 12th, 1947? 117 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,384 - I... - Do you sleep with your hands stuffed 118 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,428 - in lotion-filled socks? - No. 119 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,931 Right, because you are not your mother. 120 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,558 - How did you know... - What you are is noble, 121 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,602 honorable, and unimpeachable. 122 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:20,649 Anyone can just have a baby. But to adopt one? That takes a hero. 123 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,652 It takes a selfless, giving, kickass superwoman 124 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,404 who's willing to take out her checkbook right now 125 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:30,158 and write the adoption agency a check for $60,000. 126 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,784 Well. Okay. 127 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,701 Fabulous. 128 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,996 I'm just so glad that I'm on this journey with you. 129 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,458 Princess Carolyn, I'm with you every step of the way, 130 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,628 from you giving me this check all the way to me introducing you 131 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,295 to your new caseworker, Tracy. 132 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,213 - Hey. - Ah! 133 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,914 You're in wonderful hands, bye! 134 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,216 Uh, what... 135 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,178 Congratulations. What are you, like, five months pregnant? 136 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,181 No, I'm not a birth mother. I'm adopting. 137 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,308 Oh, that makes sense. 'Cause you're so old. 138 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,686 Is Mikhaela ever coming back? 139 00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,605 Yeah, in your dreams. 140 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:07,028 Yes. Yes. No. Yes. What? 141 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:10,198 Jeanine, the script calls for hot and haunted. 142 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,158 Does this girl look hot and haunted to you? 143 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,869 Yeah, I'm sure she was hot for Shakespeare in the Park, 144 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,955 but I need TV hot. 145 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,458 Actually, she's starting to look haunted. 146 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,503 - Hey! Uh, this a bad time? - It's fine. 147 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,257 I can talk to you and also judge these women's bodies at the same time. 148 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,257 What do you want? 149 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,885 Okay, well, first of all, the script is great. 150 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:34,848 Really top-notch stuff. I love the whole... thing of it. 151 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:38,309 I just wanted to clarify some things about Philbert as a character. 152 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,309 Mm-hmm. 153 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,146 Yeah, okay, on page three, 154 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,482 is it necessary that Philbert can only orgasm if he's listening 155 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,193 - to a recording of his dead wife's voice? - Yes. 156 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,821 Okay, well, what about this thing on page eight 157 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,116 where he goes to a strip club and just sits in the back with a sketch-pad 158 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,161 and draws the strippers, while a Leonard Cohen song plays? 159 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,161 What about it? 160 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,622 It's just that all of these half-naked women. 161 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,331 I mean, I understand it. 162 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:06,171 I'm just worried it might come across as gratuitous and, uh, male-gazey, 163 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,755 which I know it isn't! 164 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,800 Hmm. You know what? You girls can go home. 165 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,092 The stripper scene's cut. 166 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,010 - No. - Seriously? 167 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,180 - Uh, oh. Uh... - How am I gonna feed my baby? 168 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,099 I just got an idea for something better. 169 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:23,229 So, instead of drawing strippers naked, you're just going to draw Gina naked. 170 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,229 Uh... 171 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,902 Gina, BoJack was concerned the old scene was gratuitous and male-gazey. 172 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,685 Oh, he was? BoJack said that? 173 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,782 This is much more interesting and motivated by character. 174 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,828 And since it's motivated by character, that means it's not gratuitous. 175 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,164 Thank you for the note, BoJack, you really helped. 176 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,374 Yeah. Thanks, BoJack, for helping. 177 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,251 - Oh, um... - Can we get some ice? 178 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,712 Can we get some nipple ice for Gina? 179 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,135 - So, you're the famous Yolanda. - I am not famous. 180 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,888 You might have me confused with another more famous Yolanda. 181 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,933 I know, I-I just meant because Todd talks about you so much, 182 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,716 I feel like you're famous. 183 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,102 Oh, well, that was not clear. 184 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,605 Okay. Todd, why don't you say things now? 185 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,857 Steve, you still fixing up your truck? 186 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,069 You're thinking of Emily's old boyfriend, firefighter Steve D'Marco. 187 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,155 Yeah, I'm firefighter Steve D'Mazio. We're very different. 188 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,324 But I do have a truck, and I'm fixing it up. 189 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,658 So, thanks for asking. 190 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,912 I created a dating app for firefighters to meet me. 191 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,621 - Looks like it worked. - Yeah. 192 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,167 Hey! We should create a dating app for asexuals. 193 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,378 Why would asexuals want a dating app? 194 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,005 Well, not all asexuals are aromantic. 195 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091 - Uh... - Think of it this way. 196 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,803 One could be: A, Romantic, or B, Aromantic, 197 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:41,141 while also being A, Sexual, or B, Asexual. 198 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,977 So you could be BB, or BA. 199 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,729 As for me, see AB, see? 200 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,729 Uh... 201 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,776 So, even within the one percent of the population that's asexual, 202 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,987 there's an even smaller percentage 203 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,614 that is still looking for romantic companionship. 204 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,117 Seems like a pretty thin user base for an app. 205 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,413 But without it, asexual romantics might end up settling for just whatever 206 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,709 other asexual romantics they might meet, even if they have nothing else in common. 207 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,295 - Well, anyway... - Yeah, but maybe it's good 208 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,631 if they have nothing in common because then they can help each other grow 209 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:17,135 and change, and become fuller, more well-rounded people. 210 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,594 Yeah, that's true. 211 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:22,682 So, Todd, are you still doing that rabid clown-dentist exercise thing? 212 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:28,146 Oh, no, that whole thing kinda fell apart when the clowns got loose. 213 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,557 Huh? 214 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,612 I know you killed your wife, Philbert, and I'm gonna prove it. 215 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,112 Wow! 216 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,240 Don't finger me for a murderer, Malone. 217 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,024 I don't know where those fingers have been. 218 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,775 Ooh! 219 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,652 Well, how about I show you? 220 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,581 - Wow! - Cut! 221 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,876 Someone keeps shouting "Wow" and "Ooh." 222 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,086 You guys are doing a bang-up job over here. 223 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,506 So sayeth Caesar! King of the apes! 224 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,290 Look, man, I know what you're doing, okay? 225 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,802 You're trying to punish me. Just don't punish Gina. 226 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,586 I'm not trying to punish anyone. 227 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:05,266 I'm just trying to make a good show that's brilliant and unprecedented. 228 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,560 It sounds like you guys are basically on the same page. 229 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,344 You're the only one with a problem here. 230 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,898 - Gina is fine with it. - Gina is not fine with it. 231 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,651 You guys, you're almost saying exactly the same thing. 232 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,318 Except one of you is saying "not". 233 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,530 Gina, do you have a problem with the nudity in this scene? 234 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,492 It's great. It's brilliant, unprecedented. I'm gonna get some potatoes. 235 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,744 You see? Everyone's fine with it but you. 236 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,036 So, can we drop it? 237 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,915 I know you're used to being the most important person on set. 238 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,666 - This is not about me. - It's weird for you 239 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,042 that I don't need to listen. 240 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,126 - I'm not... - Hey, hey... 241 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,255 But if you actually have notes that are helpful, 242 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,424 I would love to hear them when you're done swinging your dick around. 243 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,343 - No, this is not about my dick. - Okay, fellas... 244 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:44,013 - Well, maybe it should be about your dick. - What? 245 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,891 Since you're so concerned about the male gaze, 246 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,560 let's give the females something to gaze at. 247 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,313 We'll do a full-frontal nude scene with you. 248 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,315 This is compromise! This is working together. 249 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,110 - Well, hold on. - Fully exposed, Philbert reaches up 250 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,862 - with both hands to screw in a light bulb. - Yes! 251 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,991 He totters in little circles on a tiny stool. 252 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:07,787 - Wouldn't I just turn my wrist? - Full body rotation. We see everything. 253 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:08,870 Now we're talking! 254 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,571 - No, we're not! Princess... - I'm on it. 255 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,333 Flip, BoJack can only do this scene 256 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,792 - if he can wear a T-shirt. - What? 257 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,962 He's very self-conscious about his belly area. 258 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,756 No, I'm self-conscious about my penis area. 259 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,841 He can't wear a shirt. 260 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,384 It's about being vulnerable. 261 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:26,723 We see every fold and imperfection of his wrinkled, saggy body. 262 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,015 - Hey! - So we like him. 263 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,018 But he has to be fully erect so we respect him. 264 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,643 - What? - We'll shoot it tomorrow. 265 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,354 - Yeah. - Unless you don't like this idea, 266 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,565 in which case, we can go back to what we were doing. 267 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,565 - Right. - Well... 268 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,693 So, you would be admitting that you don't actually care 269 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,362 about the male gaze and you were only giving me notes 270 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,146 to hear yourself talk. 271 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,073 But that's not it, right? 272 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,116 - Right. - Great. 273 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,701 - Shooting is tomorrow afternoon. - Okay. 274 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,621 - I'll send the waxing kit over tonight. - Philbert waxes? 275 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,709 Not for cosmetic purposes. He just wants to feel something. 276 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,004 Huh? 277 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:01,257 I like your friend. It's impressive how she creates companies. 278 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,760 And her boyfriend has an interesting career as well. 279 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,054 Yeah! And you have an interesting career. 280 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,307 Hey! The three of you all have interesting careers. 281 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,090 That is so cool! 282 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,019 Todd, do you ever feel weird 283 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,271 that you have no discernible life direction? 284 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,730 - No. - Let me rephrase that. 285 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:19,776 I feel weird that you have no discernible life direction. 286 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,109 - Oh. - I mean... 287 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,530 - What am I supposed to tell people? - A story? A joke? 288 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,409 Compliments are things people like being told sometimes. 289 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:33,414 I'm sorry. How was your day? Did you end up meeting with that frog? 290 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,167 No, I just stayed home and looked at stuff on the Internet. 291 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,117 Oh. 292 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,591 Hello, Princess Carolyn. 293 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,094 You're not Princess Carolyn. Why are you not Princess Carolyn? 294 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,930 - She gets home pretty late. - I came all this way for nothing? 295 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,713 I brought my spinny chair and everything! 296 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,976 Well, if you want something to do, you could help me find a job. 297 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,687 - You're looking for a job? - I spent all day looking! 298 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,856 First, I thought I should get a newspaper to find one, 299 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,067 but then I was, like, "Where do I find a newspaper?" 300 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,401 - Uh. - So, I looked it up. 301 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,278 And a map came up of my local area. 302 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,864 So, then I thought about how I know this area pretty well, 303 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,283 but there's all kinds of areas I don't know. 304 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,160 - Like South Africa. - Okay. 305 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,788 - And then I thought about Charlize Theron. - Uh, right. 306 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,082 And then I thought about that movie Monster. 307 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,501 And then I was, like, "What year did that come out?" 308 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,294 So I went to Monster.com... 309 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,672 to look up facts about the movie Monster, 310 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,425 and it turns out they have job postings there! 311 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,427 What a time to be alive! 312 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,762 Hey! A posting for WhatTimelsltRightNow.com! 313 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,056 Oh, a janitor job. 314 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:35,017 I've always wanted to... Janet! 315 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,687 I just got an amazing idea. Interview for that job! 316 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,022 Uh... Was that your amazing idea? 317 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,191 Because I feel, like, it kinda came out of the room. 318 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,652 When you get in the building, say you need to use the WC. 319 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,447 Then you'll sneak into the office of one of the network execs. 320 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,283 Go into their email and send a message to Flip McVicker 321 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,618 telling him he can't film any more nude scenes 322 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,662 because they're derivative and unnecessary, 323 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,040 - especially the nude scenes involving me. - You are throwing a lotta words at me. 324 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,502 Todd, don't you get it? We're gonna save the show! 325 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,162 You're on a show? 326 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,885 This is a very impressive resume. 327 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,680 Yep. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must adjourn to the restroom. 328 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:16,476 You founded a ride-share app. You built and managed your own theme park. 329 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,187 And you were, briefly, Governor of California! 330 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,689 I was also the director of a Star Wars movie, 331 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,025 but they fired me over "creative differences." 332 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,152 Now about that restroom... 333 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,905 Hold on. You are way overqualified to be a janitor. 334 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:33,659 - Okay. But I do actually need to go. - Oh, you need to go, all right. 335 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,704 Straight to the top of this company! 336 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,124 We're ready for you on set, Mr. Horseman. 337 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,124 Just a minute. 338 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,586 All right! Todd, did you do it? 339 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,588 Hold please for Mr. Chavez. 340 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,633 - Already I don't like this development. - Hey! Good news, bad news. 341 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,470 Good news is I'm now President of Ad Sales and Streamable Content 342 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,097 for WhatTimelsltRightNow.com and... 343 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,183 - WhatTimelsltGo. - What? 344 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,185 Bad news is I can't help you. 345 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,271 Why not? You're their boss now. You can tell them what to do. 346 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:06,567 I could, but I'm no leader at all if I can't delegate authority. 347 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,612 I need to focus on big picture stuff. 348 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,906 Loving that picture. Can we get it even bigger? 349 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,785 Ugh, Todd, your good-hearted naiveté has once again conspired 350 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,247 with outrageous happenstance to completely dick me over! 351 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,832 Have you tried just talking to the show runner? 352 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,293 In my experience, I've found it's best to shoot straight, 353 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,880 in the boardroom and on the driving range. 354 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,381 I gotta jet. 355 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,927 It's Susie in HRs birthday and if I don't show up to these things, 356 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,553 people talk, you know what I mean? 357 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,254 I never do! 358 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,140 - Hey, Flip, we need to talk. - Okay. 359 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,841 - I'm not doing the naked scene. - What? 360 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,937 The only reason you wrote it is to embarrass me. 361 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,982 BoJack, I'm not writing scenes for my television show 362 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,151 and also directing them in order to teach you lessons 363 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,195 or send you secret messages. 364 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,155 I'm just trying to make a good show. 365 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,784 - Why do you keep making it so difficult? - I'm making it difficult? 366 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,036 I have done nothing, but be a friend to you. 367 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:03,749 I actually called my mom last night and told her that I made a friend on set. 368 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,252 Do you wanna make me a liar to my mother? 369 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,547 - What? Ew. Weird. - Take off that robe and go to set. 370 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,924 - No. - Take off that robe right now. 371 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,303 Why can't you act like a professional and get naked? 372 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:19,348 Because it's dumb! This whole show is duuuuuuumb! 373 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,348 What? 374 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,852 It's confusing, it's overwritten, and it's poorly lit. 375 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,230 The darkness is a metaphor for darkness! 376 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,939 And worst of all, it's boring! 377 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,819 It has nothing to say, and it says that nothing badly! 378 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,656 Let me tell you how this is going to be. 379 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,407 I am the show creator 380 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,786 and if I want your character to get naked, he gets naked. 381 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:44,540 If I want him to speak only in Korean, you're learning Korean. 382 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,584 If I want your character to shit his pants 383 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,629 and walk around with shit in his pants for the rest of the season, 384 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,379 you will do just that. 385 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,341 - Oh, come on. - You signed a contract. 386 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,509 And that means I am your god. 387 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,887 You will please your god, 388 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,850 and if I don't see your ass on set then I will see your ass in court. 389 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,559 Do you understand? 390 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,189 That's a good note about the lighting. I'll take a look at that. 391 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,194 Good news! We found a birth mother! 392 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,944 Really? A-already? 393 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,196 She came in yesterday. 394 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,824 She's giving her baby to a sweet couple in Illinois. 395 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,325 - What? - Oh... 396 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,870 Did you think we found a birth mother for you? 397 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,454 Conceited much? 398 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,124 Tracy, I’m spending a lot of money to be here with you 399 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,669 and I'm putting myself in a very vulnerable position. 400 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,171 Is there any way you can be a little more thoughtful 401 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,964 with the way you manage me as a client? 402 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,926 It sounds like what you're looking for is an adoption manager. 403 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,136 This is an adoption agency. 404 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,013 Do you not know the difference? 405 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,639 What? 406 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,934 Princess Carolyn, I overplayed my hand. 407 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,811 BoJack and I got into a fight. 408 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,230 - And he never showed up on set. - What? 409 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,689 What? 410 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:55,194 Princess Carolyyyyyyyn, I need to talk to youuuuuu. 411 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,907 - BoJack. - Hold on, I got a thing with a chair. 412 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,324 How did you even find me? 413 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,120 Duh. Bought a burner phone, slipped it into your purse, 414 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,787 and then used the Find My Phone app. 415 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:06,746 How thoughtful. 416 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,331 Hello, Princess Carolyn. 417 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,290 Oh, God. 418 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,085 I have a plan and I need your help. 419 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,754 - I found out his mom has a fake leg. - Who's mom? 420 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:18,134 Flip. I'm gonna seduce her, steal her leg, and then smack him across the face with it 421 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,927 until he chokes on his own blood. 422 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,055 It's subtle, but I think he'll get the message. 423 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,099 BoJack, what are you trying to accomplish here? 424 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,934 I- I don't want to do the show. 425 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,894 So you're gonna run away like you always do? 426 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,896 Yeah. I never wanted to do this show! 427 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,482 - You faked my signature! - And I told you that, 428 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,527 and you said, "Okay" because you wanted to be a good friend to me! 429 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,447 So, you can't get points for that and then resent me for it now. 430 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,700 - It's not about you! I don't like him! - Oh, Flip's not that bad. 431 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,327 He's just insecure and is overcompensating a little. 432 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,371 I know that must be a foreign concept for you. 433 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,248 No, not Flip. Philbert. 434 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:53,210 He-he's a drunk. He's an asshole. I don't want to be him. 435 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,671 So, maybe don't be the drunk asshole. 436 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,341 Maybe this time, you have a good attitude and you don't drink so much 437 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,092 and you show up at your call time. 438 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:06,182 And then you put on the Philbert costume and you pretend to be this other guy. 439 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,477 And then when you're done shooting, you take off your costume 440 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,938 and you're BoJack, the star of the show that everybody likes. 441 00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,722 - Yeah? - Yeah. 442 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,778 Hey, why are we at an adoption agency? Are you adopting something? 443 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,654 - I'm trying to. - Oh. 444 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,741 So, can you keep it together for the next ten weeks 445 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,494 so I don't need to come to set, every day, to put out fires? 446 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,788 You think you could do that? For me? 447 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,745 Action. 448 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,664 Hey, stranger. 449 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:45,262 It sounds like you had an amazing trip. 450 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,640 I did. What have you been up to? 451 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,059 Well, I did play Julius Caesar in a pizza commercial 452 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,979 that they're going to... get this, show in movie theaters. 453 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,106 Wow, look at you. Pizza. 454 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,983 Et Cru-Dités? 455 00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,484 - What? - That was my line. 456 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:03,614 I played Little Caesar's dad, Big Caesar, in the back story part of the commercial, 457 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,034 which is funny because most commercials don't even have a back story part. 458 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,495 Also, Little Caesar's doesn't sell crudités. 459 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,289 Oh, man, my part's definitely going to get cut, huh? 460 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,332 Just like the real Caesar! 461 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,033 Hey, that's right! 462 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,246 Well, here's your place. 463 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,508 Yep. Here it is. 464 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,594 Well, anyway, I signed the papers. 465 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,805 Oh. Great! 466 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,890 Yeah, so if it all looks good to you and your lawyer, 467 00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:32,351 you can sign it too and then it'll be official. 468 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,018 Divorce completed. 469 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,730 - Yay. - We did it. 470 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,607 Take that, our marriage! 471 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,778 - Well, I guess I'll see you around? - Yeah. 472 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,905 - I was going to... - Sorry. 473 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,074 Sorry. Just go all the way. 474 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,857 - Well, bye. - Cool. 475 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:54,863 And, cut. 476 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,792 We got it. 477 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,919 What's that for? We've all seen me naked. 478 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,338 Can't put the genie back in the bottle now, baby. 479 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:04,090 Thanks anyway, Judy. 480 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,968 This is great. Any other work environment 481 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,887 and this would be considered sexual harassment. 482 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,670 Ooh, Cadbury Creme Eggs. 483 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,433 Yes, please! Whoops. Gonna need new yogurt. 484 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,142 I'll make it up to you, Patrice. 485 00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,103 Party at my house tonight! 486 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,782 So, then Aaron Eckhart said, "If that's Ansel Elgort, 487 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,566 then who's Alden Ehrenreich?" 488 00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:33,078 And then I said, "Gesundheit" 489 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,415 - Flip! You made it. - Yeah. 490 00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:39,418 Jesus Christ, your house really does look like Philbert's. 491 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,337 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 492 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,174 Thanks for being so cool today about the naked stuff. 493 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,174 Yeah. Sure. 494 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,928 Those chicks always make such a big deal about their bodies. 495 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,470 Maybe now that you've done it, 496 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,307 Gina won't complain so much next time we make her do it. 497 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:56,477 - Well, no, she didn't complain. - Whatever. Doesn't matter. 498 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,479 - Everything worked out. - Yeah. 499 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,315 Listen, I'm sorry I flew off the handle earlier 500 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:03,484 and tried to remove your robe by force. 501 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,861 This is my first show and I'm still figuring out 502 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,612 how to strike the right tone. 503 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:10,616 No, of course, I'm just trying to help you fulfill your vision. 504 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:12,826 Yeah. The main thing you gotta know about me 505 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,788 is just don't take things so personal, you know what I mean? 506 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:16,996 Uh, yeah. 507 00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:19,375 Everything we're doing over these next ten weeks, 508 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:23,128 the places I'm going to take you, it's not about you, you know? 509 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,422 - It's Philbert. - Yeah. Right. 510 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,965 Yeah, you get it. 511 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:33,461 I tell you, buddy, 512 00:24:33,462 --> 00:24:37,059 this is going to be a sensational season of television. 513 00:25:34,607 --> 00:25:37,758 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~