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sync & correction by f1nc0
- Addic7ed.com ~

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I need to get as far away
from Los Angeles as possible.

3
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,469
The handy ticketing screens are behind you
and will provide all the answers you need.

4
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,888
- Can't you just help me?
- Screen has all the answers.

5
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,642
I could really use
some personal attention right now.

6
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,562
- Where did you want to go?
- I need to leave tonight. Anywhere.

7
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,064
Uh, okay. Hanoi?

8
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,942
Vietnam! Yes, perfect!
Thank you!

9
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,738
- Sh-should I punch it into that screen?
- Uh-huh.

10
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,825
And say nice things about me.
That screen's my supervisor.

11
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5x02 - The Dog Days Are Over

12
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,346
I'm Peter Sagal.
Don't wait, wait.

13
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- Do answer your phone.
- Stefani?

14
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,352
Hey, girl! Just checking up on that
clickable content you were working on.

15
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,063
Listen, something came up, and I...
Where are you?

16
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,566
I'm doing a new, fully immersive,
3-D spin class.

17
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,444
Oh, you know what?
I'm just biking.

18
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,197
Oh. Well, I just landed in Vietnam...

19
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,075
- Where is my content, Diane?
- Um...

20
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,452
I need words for my website.

21
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,121
There are words on the website now,
but I need younger words,

22
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:46,792
newer words, fresher words
to feed the insatiable beast!

23
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,044
Okay, okay, I'll write something
while I'm here.

24
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,547
Love it!
Feed that beast, girl! Bye!

25
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,891
Number one: To reconnect
with your ancestral roots.

26
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,018
As a born and raised American,

27
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,064
you never felt much connection
to your Vietnamese heritage,

28
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,234
and your parents offered little
to fill in the blanks.

29
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,320
G'aw! You call that a fastball?

30
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,116
With an arm like that, you're gonna get
booted back to Triple-A, you skeezer!

31
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,035
- Dad, where are we from?
- We're from Boston, dummy!

32
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,746
Why do you think I talk
in this accurate, regional dialect?

33
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,916
I know that, but, I mean,
what is our background?

34
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,918
Why do I look different
from the other kids?

35
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,212
Ah, shove it up your rear, you jack-off.

36
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:35,799
You're just the same as anybody else,
and don't let nobody tell you different.

37
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,385
I just thought you could give me
a little cultural context,

38
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,722
what with you being a tenured professor
of Vietnamese history at Tufts and all.

39
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,598
Christ, Deedee, that's my job.

40
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,184
I wouldn't ask you to have a period
on your day off.

41
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,603
What? Dad, it... Okay.

42
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,149
But you're here, finally.

43
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,568
And it's comforting
to see your name everywhere

44
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,820
and so many faces,
that look like your face.

45
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,780
- Ah! Oh.

46
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,074
- Sorry, I don't... I don't speak...

47
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,035
- I don't... I don't understand you.

48
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,154
Oh, is this who you were looking for?

49
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,905
- Ouch!

50
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,367
I'm sorry.

51
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,756
It's more foreign
than you expected, but that's good.

52
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:20,844
You want to truly immerse yourself
and get the full non-LA experience.

53
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,627
Ooh!

54
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,978
Because sometimes, to find yourself,

55
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,397
you need to get as far away
from the world you know...

56
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,181
- Coming through! Hot set!
- Ah! Ah!

57
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,232
Movie lingo!

58
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,611
Excuse me, hi.

59
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,071
- What's going on here?
- Oh, isn't it exciting?

60
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:43,617
Some American filmmakers are shooting
a movie, starring Laura Linney!

61
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,412
It's about a recently-divorced woman
who comes to Vietnam to find herself.

62
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,002
You came here
to reconnect with your roots,

63
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,714
but now you feel stupid
for even thinking that was possible.

64
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:02,177
You put on the clothing you bought,
and... it... feels like a costume.

65
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,597
This is not your home.
You're a tourist here.

66
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,810
Reason number two:
you can be a tourist here!

67
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,180
Can I have number two?

68
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,360
- Number two?
- Ah. Yes.

69
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,238
Number two.

70
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,698
Thank you. _

71
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,913
_ Thank you.

72
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,960
Sometimes,
it's just nice to take a vacation

73
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,128
and forget
about everything you left behind...

74
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,506
I'm Peter Sagal. Don't wait, wait.

75
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,506
Hello?

76
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,051
- Diane!
- Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.

77
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,554
Are you okay?
You left my party without saying goodbye.

78
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,639
I was like,
"Uh-oh, what happened to Diane?"

79
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,973
- Well...
- Then I got distracted

80
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,101
because Todd got his tongue stuck
to the ice sculpture.

81
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,434
By the time we got him off,

82
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his tongue was completely numb,
which made him talk real funny.

83
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,774
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, that got him in quite the situation

84
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,483
when the mob boss, at the roller rink,

85
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,528
thought he was making fun
of his deaf sister.

86
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,697
I'm sorry,
this is turning into a Todd story.

87
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,322
The point is, are you okay?

88
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,866
Oh, yeah, sorry.

89
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,036
I just had a plane to catch,
so... I'm in Vietnam now...

90
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,372
- Whoa.
- ... but... I'll be back soon.

91
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,749
Let me fetch you from the airport.

92
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,044
Oh, that's okay.
You don't want to deal with the traffic.

93
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,795
You know I love traffic.

94
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,133
I get to catch up on all those hilarious
license plates I haven't read yet.

95
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,758
Okay. Thanks.

96
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,345
Great. Hey, I have to tell you...

97
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,973
I'm glad, I'm not still paying
your phone bill

98
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,309
because this call
must be costing a fortune!

99
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,686
Unless you remembered to call Ed
for the international plan.

100
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,439
Of course I remembered to do that!
But I have to hang up now.

101
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,858
Our conversation has reached
a natural conclusion, goodbye.

102
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,641
Ugh.

103
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,237
Number three:
because you're single now

104
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,072
and you can do whatever you want.

105
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Isn't it great being single?

106
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It sure is!

107
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I love that we're mature enough
to still be in each other's lives.

108
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,038
I know!

109
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,750
Other divorced couples can't handle it,
but we're handling it, so well,

110
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,250
because we are better than them.

111
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,378
Are we the best divorced couple?

112
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,297
- I think we might be.
- Yeah.

113
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,176
How are you doing
with those divorce papers?

114
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,803
- It's been several weeks now... Aah!
- Hi, folks! I'm Pickles.

115
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,722
- Ooh!
- Have you dined with us before?

116
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,014
- Yes.
- Well...

117
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,434
the way it works around here is:
you look at a menu,

118
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,354
pick what you want, I'll bring it to you,
and then you pay at the end.

119
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,896
So, like, a restaurant.

120
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,483
- Ooh, sounds great.
- Can I get you started with drinks?

121
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,566
Water would be great.

122
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,319
- Oh, my God, I love water.
- Me, too!

123
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,102
- Uh-huh.
- I'm 70 percent water!

124
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,114
- Okay.
- Me, too! What are the odds?

125
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,408
So, two waters. Thank you.

126
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,829
So... Mr. Peanutbutter,
the divorce papers.

127
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,248
- We need to... Aah!
- It's me again, the same dog as before.

128
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,418
- Do you know what you'd like to order?
- Are you bringing our waters?

129
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,964
- No. I forgot. Food, though?
- Hmm, what do you like here?

130
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,257
- No, why would you ask...
- Oh, I like everything.

131
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,636
In fact, at the end of my shift,
I usually take everyone's leftover scraps

132
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,222
and put it in a trough and eat it up.
Miam, miam, miam, miam!

133
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,307
- But don't mention that to my boss.
- We won't.

134
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,810
But that does sound eclectic
and delectable.

135
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,268
The trough of everything.

136
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,564
- Okay, and...
- Whoa, somebody's not hungry at all.

137
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,609
No, I am! I'm very hungry!

138
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,070
And I'll have the Cobb salad!

139
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,031
- Why do you keep humoring her?
- She's fun.

140
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,950
You know, if we were still married,

141
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,744
this would probably be enough
to spiral us off into a big argument,

142
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,664
that isn't even about the waitress,
and we would fight all night.

143
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,625
But since we're not married,
I can just be like, whatever.

144
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,712
- This is truly great.
- So... great.

145
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,964
We are doing so great.

146
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,798
Although...

147
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:31,803
I do get lonely sometimes
in that big house all by myself.

148
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,264
Hey, why don't you have
a housewarming party?

149
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,057
- Eh...
- Yeah!

150
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,810
Now that you don't have a mean wife
who hates parties...

151
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,310
He-he, you can finally live it up.

152
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:43,189
Okay, but only if you come.
Promise?

153
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,942
I'll come if you have
those divorce papers.

154
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:46,942
- Aah!
- Me again.

155
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,987
What did you order?
I didn't write it down.

156
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,279
- The trough!
- Oh!

157
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,032
He wants the trough!

158
00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:01,916
Uh, xin... loi.
Do you speak any English?

159
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,502
We... are... lost.

160
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,211
I actually speak all of the English.

161
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:12,162
- Oh! Your English... is very good.
- I... am... American.

162
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:18,266
Yes. American.
We... are... from... America.

163
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,560
I... am... from America.

164
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:24,814
No. Me America. You Vietnam.

165
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,067
No. Me America.

166
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:31,488
- Me America!
- Me America, too.

167
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,240
Me am also America.

168
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,118
Number four:
To meet new people!

169
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,582
Hell-oh, uh, I am with the movie.

170
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,752
No Vietnamese, but I want a drink.

171
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,753
Beer?

172
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,454
Glug-glug?

173
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,760
Number five:
Get out of your natural habitat.

174
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,598
We all work so hard
to cultivate our homes,

175
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,893
but what are they other than a place
to repeat negative patterns?

176
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,187
There. Last one.

177
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,687
And the first one.

178
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,233
I moved all this other stuff in
while you were... stretching.

179
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,441
So much for helping.

180
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,612
Oh, did you need help deciding
whether or not this place is a shithole?

181
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,395
Because help is on the way.

182
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,231
- It's a shithole.
- I like it.

183
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,202
It's what I can afford and it makes me
feel good to do it on my own.

184
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,830
When this place makes you too sad,
you can always come over.

185
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:25,083
You'll have to say, "I'm a sad, sad girl
with a terrible, dirty apartment,"

186
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,336
- but I'll let you crash.
- This is my home and I am proud of it.

187
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,422
- Where did you get all this junk?
- It's not junk!

188
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,206
I just emptied out my storage unit.

189
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,010
This is the stuff that cool,
20-something Diane had to put away

190
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,138
when she moved in
with old man Peanutbutter.

191
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,473
Oh, can we finally talk shit
about Mr. Peanutbutter?

192
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,226
Like how he has dog breath
and leaves his hair all over,

193
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,354
or is this one of those scam jobs
where I talk shit

194
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,439
and you nod along,
then you two get back together

195
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,275
and you hate me
because I told you how I felt?

196
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,903
When have you not told me how you felt?
All you do is tell me how you really feel.

197
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,738
This place smells weird.
I want to go home.

198
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,364
- I don't tell you everything.
- You do.

199
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,367
There's literally nothing
you haven't told me.

200
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,995
Well, did I tell you
this place smells weird?

201
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,662
Yes. Help me move this couch.

202
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,748
Okay, you get started.
I'm gonna stretch first.

203
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,042
Anyway, Mr. Peanutbutter
and I are still good friends.

204
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,042
Get the hammies.

205
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,546
I'm going to his housewarming party
on Saturday. You should come.

206
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,588
"Come with?"

207
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,466
Diane, just because you have the couch
of a girl in her 20s

208
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,219
does not mean that you are young enough
to say "come with."

209
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,211
There.

210
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,599
Yeesh.

211
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,185
I love it! This is my life now.

212
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,481
- What's going on?
- Oh, hi, Diane.

213
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:33,818
Some cockroaches in IT tried to unionize,

214
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,196
so I just called an exterminator.

215
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,449
- What?
- Oh. Sorry, I meant negotiator.

216
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,824
Wait, no. Who did I call?

217
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,578
Anyway, we're gonna have to tent
this place for the next month.

218
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,162
Can you work from home till then?

219
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,830
I need that listicle

220
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,584
on five empowering roles
for women over 40,

221
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,212
that would be better played
by Jennifer Lawrence.

222
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,547
What was that?

223
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,300
Oh, negotiations. Bye!

224
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:05,725
Number six:
To turn your work into a "work-cation."

225
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,482
In this new era of connectivity,
working outside

226
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,193
of the traditional workspace
can ignite creativity...

227
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,781
Ew!

228
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,242
Uh?

229
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,870
I'm a sad, sad girl
with a terrible, dirty apartment.

230
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,654
Come on in.

231
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,627
Okay, one more glass,
and then I'm gonna head home.

232
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,630
Why don't you take the guest room?
I could make urine stains on the carpet

233
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,091
and string up police tape
so it feels more like home for you.

234
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,802
Thank you,
but I'm excited to be on my own.

235
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,804
I can do whatever I want.

236
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:47,600
I can pick up in the middle of the night
and go to Disney World, or... Vietnam.

237
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,353
Do you mean literally Vietnam
or like when Old Navy told me

238
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,439
they were looking for a fresher face
for their Performance Fleece commercials

239
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,733
- and they ended up with Sherman Hemsley?
- What?

240
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,442
That was my Vietnam.

241
00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,363
I just mean I can finally do the things
I've always wanted.

242
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,824
- I'm in a really good place.
- Awesome!

243
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,910
A really good place.

244
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,413
That's the thing
people don't understand about me.

245
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,080
I'm also in a good place.

246
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,623
I got this new job coming up,

247
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,711
so I'm gonna fly right, be tight,
and sober up real good.

248
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,755
I'm working out a system
so I only drink a little each day.

249
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,256
Mm...

250
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,716
It's my cheat day.

251
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:25,680
Isn't it weird that this is the first time
we're both been single at the same time?

252
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,349
Yeah. Why is it weird?

253
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,644
I mean, I know why I think it's weird,
but you say a first thing.

254
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,428
It's just, uh...

255
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,606
Come on, you know why.

256
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,485
It's just weird.
Like, we could totally make out right now.

257
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,530
- What?
- No, I'm not saying we should. No. Pfft!

258
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:47,744
No. I'm just saying we could,
and that's weird. I'm saying it's weird.

259
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,829
Oh. Uh, I guess so.

260
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,458
Not that I would.
Oh, my God, that's so gross.

261
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,293
- You're gross.
- You're being mean.

262
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,920
I'm allowed to be mean.
I'm getting a divorce.

263
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,631
Okay, you get two more "divorce means,"
but then that's it.

264
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,007
I'm cutting you off.

265
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,383
Maybe I should go.

266
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,678
You sure you don't want to stay...
in the guest room?

267
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,306
No. No, 'cause then
that means I'm staying here.

268
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,142
And I cannot stay here again,
not after last time.

269
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,436
- What do you mean? That was fun.
- Was not.

270
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,436
I was a mess.

271
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:19,484
And then you left me in charge of things
and then went who knows where. Michigan?

272
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,862
No, uh, no.
That time I ended up in New Mexico.

273
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:27,367
I stayed with this family,
got close with the daughter, but, um...

274
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,454
Luckily, it worked out all fine.

275
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,707
No, and I-I got a boat,
I came back, end of story.

276
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,626
Okay, buddy.

277
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,212
Hey, Diane, can I ask you a...

278
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,830
Oh. Yeah.

279
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,934
Oooooooh...

280
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,468
Oh...

281
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,902
Reason number seven
to go to Vietnam:

282
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,862
Your therapist tells you to.

283
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,156
Have you thought about going away
for a little bit?

284
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,940
I don't need to go away. I'm good.

285
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:09,991
I have this client

286
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,453
who went through
a surprisingly tough second divorce.

287
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,372
Let's just call her "Demi M."

288
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:18,209
And let's say that her first husband
was called "Bruce."

289
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,584
Talking about Demi Moore?

290
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,297
You know I can't divulge personal
information about my other clients, Diane.

291
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,081
I'll ask you to be respectful.

292
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,385
- But she and her second husband...
- Ashton.

293
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,136
I cannot say, went on a trip,

294
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,640
and getting out of her routine allowed her
to process things more honestly.

295
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,184
I just feel, like,
I see myself very clearly already.

296
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,187
And what I see is that I am happy
with my decision.

297
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,691
Mm- hmm. Another client of mine,
Angelina J,

298
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,776
who has a lot of adopted kids...

299
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,818
Is she an actress?

300
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,519
As a matter of fact, no.

301
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,448
She thinks of herself as a director.

302
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,576
Wait a minute, do you talk about me
in your sessions with other clients?

303
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,243
Oh, honey!

304
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,944
No.

305
00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,001
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm trying to get a beer.

306
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,285
Can you help me?

307
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,879
Ah?

308
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,717
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you.

309
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,930
Ah!

310
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,642
I know you can't really understand me,
but I'm a nice American dude.

311
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,426
A good guy.

312
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,149
Would you want to go for a walk
to the markets?

313
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,319
I feel totally lost out there

314
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,905
and I could really use a local
to help show me around.

315
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,238
Ah?

316
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,446
All right!

317
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:43,377
Reason number eight:
To discover a new you.

318
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,758
You let a handsome stranger follow you
through the markets of Hanoi.

319
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:54,805
And the smells, sounds, and tastes
transport you to another reality.

320
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,142
He tells you stories,
he thinks you can't understand,

321
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,893
about his life in America,

322
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,313
and it's freeing to be this person
he thinks you are,

323
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:05,816
this person who isn't bound
by her own history or sadness.

324
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,737
This is a person who could do
whatever she wants.

325
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,146
Mm!

326
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,566
Wow!

327
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,318
I know this is crazy, but...

328
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,956
even though you can't understand
a word I'm saying,

329
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,874
I feel like we have a real connection.

330
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,784
I want to show you something.

331
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,341
Oh!

332
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,636
This... is Ha Long Bay.

333
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,138
It's where Laura Linney comes
to find herself.

334
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,393
I'll bet you've never been
on a movie set before, huh?

335
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,105
I'm a grip. The executive grip.
I basically run things here.

336
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,899
It's so cool to see my job
through your eyes.

337
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,613
- Ah!
- Holy shit, a falling klieg light!

338
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,573
Sorry!

339
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,784
Uh, can you speak English?

340
00:17:57,034 --> 00:18:01,664
No... I just heard someone say
that sentence in an American movie once.

341
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,323
Also that sentence.

342
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,711
- Also, yes, I speak English.
- What?

343
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,003
- I'm from LA.
- So what?

344
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,172
You were just pretending this whole time?

345
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,216
I was actually feeling
something special here.

346
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:15,636
Really? It didn't strike you as weird
that you talked for two hours straight

347
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,803
and I said nothing?

348
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,514
Or is that what felt special?

349
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,933
I am not the bad guy here.
You're a liar!

350
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,270
Okay, and you got to have
your little Miss Saigon cosplay,

351
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,895
so why don't we call it a draw?

352
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,773
- Get off my set!
- Your set?

353
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:33,321
Nice try, buddy. I know what a grip does.
At best, you're the best boy... at best.

354
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,654
Are you kidding me?

355
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,283
Why does this happen to me
every time I go on location?

356
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,327
Ugh!

357
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,047
Reason number nine
to go to Vietnam:

358
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,466
Because it's good
to get out of your routine.

359
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,302
Is that similar to reason number five:
get out of your natural habitat?

360
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,085
No, it's a different thing. It's fine.

361
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,346
It's whatever.

362
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,182
Ooh, hey. What are you doing here?

363
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,143
We're going to the party, remember?
You told me to "come with."

364
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,771
- Why do you look so different?
- Do you like it?

365
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,065
It's a whole new, fun me.

366
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,652
My therapist thought I needed to get out
of my routine. I mean, I thought it, too.

367
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,905
It was mostly me who thought it,
but my therapist also...

368
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,533
- Ta da!
- Did you get a longer neck or something?

369
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,203
I did not get a longer neck.
It's a haircut.

370
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,372
- Does it make my neck look long?
- No.

371
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,290
Uh, you actually look amazing.

372
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,377
Don't try to take advantage
just 'cause I'm all vulnerable right now.

373
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,213
Jesus, lady!
I'm just trying to give you a compliment!

374
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,924
- Relax, I was joking.
- Were you?

375
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,095
- Let's just go to the party.
- God, you're all over the place.

376
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,222
- You hate parties.
- I don't hate parties.

377
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,517
- You hate parties. I'm fun.
- Okay, you know what? Forget this.

378
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,300
- I'm sorry. BoJack...
- Hey.

379
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,647
Your haircut looks great.
Mr. Peanutbutter's gonna love it.

380
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,365
- Hey, Diane!
- Hey.

381
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,159
- I love what you did to your neck.
- I didn't...

382
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,328
Did you see that ice sculpture?

383
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,456
I am definitely not going to lick it.
Don't worry.

384
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,082
Okay.

385
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,043
Anyway, I can't stay long

386
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,421
because I'm supposed to go
to the roller rink later.

387
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,838
- Uh-huh.
- I hope, there won't be

388
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,297
- any mob bosses there.
- Well...

389
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,051
What am I saying? That's so random.

390
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:22,263
- Have you seen Mr. Peanutbutter?
- I don't know. Did you check the library?

391
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,555
- Ugh.
- 'Kay, I gotta go.

392
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,100
There's a letter I wanna send.
I need to lick the stamp.

393
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,767
Hopefully, I'll remember to do it

394
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,020
- before I put my roller skates on...
- Okay.

395
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,440
so I don't accidentally miss the stamp
with my tongue

396
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,442
and then roll down the stairs
with my tongue out

397
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,194
and then smack right into
the ice sculpture with my tongue.

398
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,865
That would be pretty bad,
but I wouldn't put it past me.

399
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,662
Who are all these people?

400
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:51,292
- Mr. Peanutbutter. There you are!
- Diane, nice haircut!

401
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,419
- Oh, this? No, I didn't...
- Yeah!

402
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,714
It really brings out the neck
of your... neck.

403
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,506
Okay, well, that's...

404
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:01,552
Hey, don't go anywhere, okay?
I want to talk to you.

405
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,888
- Oh. How was...
- Erica!

406
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,223
What are you doing here
with a child-sized coffin?

407
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,770
Oh, my God, are you okay?
I saw everything.

408
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,145
Yeah, I'm fine.

409
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,846
I can't pick sides in this divorce

410
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,816
because I'm good friends
with the both of you,

411
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:20,321
but I want you to know, no matter what,
I'm here for you and also there for him.

412
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,073
And if you ever need anything,
just let me know

413
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:25,910
and I'll be your rock,
as long as it doesn't conflict with me

414
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,996
also being Mr. Peanutbutter's rock,
or my work,

415
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,663
which is keeping me very busy.

416
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:32,332
Excuse me, I have to take this.

417
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,419
Hi, Flip? Yeah, are we sure
we need this strip club set?

418
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:39,215
Because once we put the deposit down,
we cannot get that money back.

419
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,227
Reason number ten
to go to Vietnam:

420
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,479
Because you've gotta leave
to come back home.

421
00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:59,276
- Hello?
- Hey.

422
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:00,777
Hey.

423
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:05,491
I'm sorry. I've been so weird.
I'm going through some shit.

424
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:07,075
I know.

425
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,454
Yeah. And I just really need
a friend right now.

426
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,665
You know what I mean?
A friend?

427
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,366
Yeah. I get it.

428
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,826
Okay. Thanks.

429
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,422
- This is Diane, by the way.
- Nguyen?

430
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,259
Yeah. Nguyen.

431
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,262
You're not entirely sure what life
will be like when you get home,

432
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:30,432
but maybe that's good
because that means anything could happen.

433
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,062
- Oh, my God, you're Laura Linney!
- People say that to me all the time.

434
00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:37,606
And it's true.
I am Laura Linney.

435
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,650
I'm so sorry to bother you,
but I have to ask,

436
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,194
the movie you were filming,
what happens at the end?

437
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,989
You get divorced, you go to Vietnam
to find yourself, but then what?

438
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:46,114
How does it work out?

439
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,117
- Well, I do find myself.
- Oh.

440
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,534
- My clone.
- Oh.

441
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,912
- And she's shacked up with my ex.
- Hmm?

442
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:55,124
I fly into a jealous rage
and gut him with a machete,

443
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,959
but not before realizing
that this whole thing

444
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,742
goes all the way to the top.

445
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,463
So me and my clone have to team up
and head to Dubai.

446
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:04,133
A lot of it is setting up the franchise.
You know how it is.

447
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,219
- Um... it's an action movie?
- And a love story.

448
00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:09,471
Me and my clone
have a steamy make-out scene,

449
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:12,600
which is hot but also very progressive.

450
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:15,019
Excuse me. Can I get some pretzels?
I'm Laura Linney.

451
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:19,106
But none of those reasons
are why you actually went to Vietnam.

452
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,526
Hey, stranger.

453
00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:28,073
Yeah, so, if it all looks good to you
and your lawyer,

454
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,576
you can sign it, too,
and then it'll be official.

455
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,203
- Divorce completed.
- Yay!

456
00:23:33,287 --> 00:23:36,707
- We did it.
- Take that, our marriage!

457
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:40,920
- Well, I guess I'll see you around?
- Yeah.

458
00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:43,505
- Oh! I was going for the...
- Oh, sorry. Did you...?

459
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,299
Sorry. Just go all the way.

460
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,082
- Well, bye.
- Cool.

461
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,430
Diane, wait.
I actually have something to tell you.

462
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,059
I... don't know the best way
to say this, but...

463
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,352
I'm seeing someone.

464
00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:58,853
Romantically.

465
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,438
Who isn't you.

466
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,691
That was probably
not the best way to say it.

467
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:06,069
So, as I was saying,

468
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,238
being there for you right now
is my top pri...

469
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:10,407
Oh. Hold on. Stuart!

470
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:15,704
There's a fire extinguisher under my desk.
Oh, that's what's on fire? In that case...

471
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:20,167
The real reason you go to Vietnam

472
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:23,212
is because you accidentally see
your soon-to-be ex-husband

473
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,671
kiss someone else.

474
00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:29,802
At first you think, "Oh, it's a fling.
Whatever, they're drunk, it's a party."

475
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:33,138
But he puts his hand
on the small of her back

476
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,766
exactly the way he used to do to you.

477
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:37,350
Mmm.

478
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:39,728
It means "I've got you,"

479
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,815
and when he did it to you,
it made you feel safe.

480
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:46,694
And you realize
he will never do that to you again.

481
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,864
And it breaks your heart, again...

482
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,826
after your heart was so broken
that you thought

483
00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,078
it could never get any more broken.

484
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,362
You thought it was safe,

485
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,291
but it still, somehow,
finds a new way to break.

486
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,837
Because, even though,
you're the one who asked for this,

487
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,424
now that you've got it,
you are completely adrift

488
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:13,637
with no compass, or map,
or sense of where to go, or what to do.

489
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:16,547
So you go to Vietnam.

490
00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:21,770
You think you might find community,
a connection to something bigger,

491
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,554
but... you don't.

492
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:27,693
In fact, you feel even more alone
than you were before you left.

493
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,571
But... you survive.

494
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,784
You learn that you can survive
being alone.

495
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,958
I'm really happy for you,
Mr. Peanutbutter.

496
00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:49,130
sync & correction by f1nc0
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