1 00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:04,679 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,762 Halloween. Fright Night. 3 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,682 Spook-tober 30-cursed! 4 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,644 Oh, there's the light switch. I'm still getting used to this new house. 5 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,772 I just bought it and it's the '60s! No, I'm just kidding! 6 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,857 It's 1993, and I'm wearing a costume! 7 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:27,194 Groovy threads! But you just got drafted, hippie! 8 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,947 - Hmm? - Into the cutest husband army! 9 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,074 Aw! 10 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,449 Where's your costume? 11 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,494 Can't I just wear a dumb hat and say I'm Blossom? 12 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,496 In my opinionation... Yes. 13 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,707 I am so excited to go to a real Hollywood party 14 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,085 with my husband the TV star. 15 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,462 Just do me a favor and don't leave me alone, okay? 16 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,298 - Okay! - Now hurry up and finish getting ready. 17 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:49,674 I'm kidding. 18 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,385 Can you imagine if I spoke to you like that? 19 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,927 I really can't! 20 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,264 Next time, we're doing a couples costume, though! 21 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:59,393 It's the perfect way to tell the world that you are completely on the same... 22 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,520 - paaaaage? - What are you wearing? 23 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,189 I thought we were going as Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling 24 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,483 in the this-year 2004 hit film The Notebook. 25 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,069 Ooοοοh! You just said, "The Notebook." 26 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,280 I thought you were gonna be, like, a pen or something. 27 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,740 The important thing is we both look super-cute, 28 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,324 and everyone is gonna be, like, 29 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,412 "Hey, is that Jessica Biel from the upcoming Blade: Trinity?" 30 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:22,749 And I'll say my famous Blade: Trinity catchphrase, "Stop goofin' around, Blade!" 31 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,960 Are you sure you're gonna be okay at this party? 32 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,546 Whenever I went with Katrina, we'd always end up in a big fight. 33 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,798 Well, I'm not Katrina. This is gonna be fun. 34 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,009 Okay. I just know you're afraid of mummies. 35 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,636 And since it's Halloween, we might see some mummies. 36 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,053 I'm not afraid of mummies. 37 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,725 I just don't like them because of an incident... 38 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,309 from my past. 39 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,979 Will you stay on the lookout and keep those creepy corpses away? 40 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:47,691 I'll be sure to make a mental note of it! 41 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,025 I'm a notebook. 42 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,736 I'm not sure I get our costumes. 43 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,236 You're the guy from The Hangover. 44 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,240 The first one, which just came out this year. Why did I say "first one?" 45 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,619 There's only one Hangover movie, and it's 2009. 46 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:02,998 - And you are...? - Your Baby Bjorn Borg. 47 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,373 Famous '70s tennis player! 48 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,210 - And what's with the robot stuff? - Borg. From Star Trek? 49 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,544 And you're also a baby? 50 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:12,299 In The Hangover, the guy had a Baby Bjorn. Baby Bjorn Borg. 51 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,010 - Seems like a lot of explaining. - People will get it. 52 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,888 Anyway, we are going to have fun at this party! 53 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,307 You said BoJack Horseman is gonna be there? 54 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,267 Oh, my God. I'm so nervous. 55 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,312 I'm not! Every Halloween party I went to with one of my ex-wives, 56 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,095 we'd get in a huge blow out. 57 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,400 I am so relieved that you are fun and easygoing, 58 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,195 - so there's no danger of that happening! - Mm-hmm... 59 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,906 I love that we both love parties. But more than that... 60 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,742 - I love you. - Aw, I love you, too. 61 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,661 And I love these costumes! 62 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,913 But tell me one more time, what are these costumes? 63 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,083 We're new social media app sensation Tweed Feed! 64 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,750 It's Insta plus Snapchat... 65 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:51,755 if they both boinked Friendster, which I guess was a thing in the '70s? 66 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:57,427 Believe you me. This party is going to be dope. Booyah! 67 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,805 It'll be off the heezy fo' sheezy. 68 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,224 OMG, it's gonna be cray-cray! 69 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:06,561 Turnt! This is going to be the best Halloween ever! 70 00:03:57,310 --> 00:04:01,047 5x08 - Mr Peanutbutter's Boos 71 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,821 Wow. My first fancy Hollywoo party. 72 00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:09,415 - "I'm ready for my close up!" - Nice! 73 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,585 - Sunset Boulevard? - I usually take Fountain. 74 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,047 BoJack must really love Halloween if he has this big bash every year, huh? 75 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,675 Oh, yeah, he's a real fiend for the 'ween. 76 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,096 - Who are you and what are you doing here? - Good one! 77 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,432 Pretending not to know your old friend Mr. Peanutbutter. 78 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,724 Why are you at my house? 79 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,603 Remember when I invited you to my Halloween party, and you said, 80 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,020 you'd love to come, but couldn't 81 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,981 because you were having your own Halloween party? 82 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:33,981 Oh, right. 83 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,736 Well, I'm sure my guests will show up any minute, so, you should probably go. 84 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,364 Well, I figured, "Hey, why not have a crossover party?" 85 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,285 So, I brought my party, wait for it, to you! 86 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,830 That was the first ever "Wait for it!" It's 1993! 87 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,614 - Uh... - Come on in, guys! 88 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,419 Um... 89 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,170 God damn it, why are you here? 90 00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,133 At the end of last year's Halloween party, you said, "Let's do this again next year," 91 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,345 like you've said at every Halloween party for the last 11 years! 92 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,463 That does not sound like me. 93 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:11,520 Oh, no. Mr. Peanutbutter? Partygoers? No. Is it... 94 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:12,561 Sure is! 95 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,732 Happy "Your 25-Years-Running" Halloween Party! 96 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,516 Hallo-ween! Hallo-ween! 97 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,904 - Hallo-ween! Hallo-ween! - No. Don't. Please. Don't. No. You see... 98 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,532 So, we're having a party? Why didn't you say this was happening? 99 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,535 Because I hate that it happens. I take no action to make it happen. 100 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,830 Every year, I pray that it won't happen, and it keeps happening anyway! 101 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,624 I feel like an idiot being at a Halloween party without a costume. 102 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,418 - Who cares? I don't have a costume. - Uh, you're wearing a costume. 103 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,754 Do you mean, in the sense that we all wear costumes, 104 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,757 such as we reveal facets of ourselves to those closest to us, 105 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,508 but our truest selves remain hidden? 106 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,178 No, in the sense that you are literally wearing a costume 107 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,055 - from the TV show we both work on. - Oh, yeah! 108 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,890 I'll go to Rite Aid to see what I can arrange. 109 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,674 Don't let the party end before I get back. 110 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,561 I definitely will let it die down! 111 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,523 Oh, shit, the Halloween party. 112 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,695 Oh. Hey, careful with the... I'm sorry. Can you put a coaster... 113 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,195 Can someone...? 114 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,738 You! Marv's intern! 115 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,240 - You're on door duty. - You got it! 116 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,285 I'm very good at opening doors. 117 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,078 Do you have any candy for trick-or-treaters? 118 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,205 No. I don't know. Just hand out these Emmy screeners. 119 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,330 I'm on it. 120 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,167 Those kids'll be holding out their hands for Franz. 121 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,837 Why grip a Twix when you can Sip-o-wicz? 122 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,090 What? I don't... Just keep answering the door until I tell you to stop. 123 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,134 You got it, chief! 124 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:29,431 - Diane! What are you supposed to be? - An annoyed writer who hates Halloween. 125 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,224 Well, you are nailing it. 126 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,686 I'm just here to drop off pages for BoJack. How's the party? 127 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,188 I wouldn't know. I'm stuck on door duty, like always. 128 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,024 Trick or treat! 129 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,319 No. You are way too old to be trick-or-treating, 130 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,404 and way too young to be a guest at this party. 131 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:49,242 Oh, no! Why did I give you the option of trick or treat? I just wanted treat! 132 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:52,120 Come back when you're five years older, or three years younger. 133 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:54,914 How 'bout now? 134 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,615 Okay. Come on in. 135 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,711 - Whoa! Cool house. - Oh, thank you. 136 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,047 - It's not mine. It's my boyfriend's. - Really? 137 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:06,009 - Why does he make you answer the door? - No, he doesn't make me, he's... 138 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:10,180 Oh, my God. You're right! What am I doing? What am I doing with my life? 139 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,767 Uh, well, judging by your outfit, I'd say you're a pilot of some sort? 140 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,645 I moved to L.A. when I was 18 and now I'm 35! 141 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,898 - Everything's happening so fast! - Oh, no! I'm 18! 142 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,401 Am I going to be 35 soon? That's when they make you president! 143 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,363 I don't want that! That's too much responsibility! 144 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,240 I can't do this anymore. You! Take my shift! 145 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:32,160 Oh, no! The responsibilities are already starting! 146 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,452 I gotta live my life! 147 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,915 I deserve to be adored by a man, yet here my dreams lie dormant! 148 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,698 I don't mean to get mordantly morbid, 149 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:42,337 but did I get all adorably adorned to get bored manning doors? No more! 150 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,424 Okay, this cider has not been sufficiently alcoholed. 151 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,719 If I'm trapped here with all you losers, I'm at least getting drunk. 152 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,682 Whoa! God! I think somebody spiked the cider! 153 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,226 Well, I guess one drink won't hurt. 154 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,851 No, I get that it's the X-Files. 155 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:01,064 I'm just saying, what happened to the "A" through "W" Files? 156 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,233 I wanna see that show. More files! 157 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,858 - Hey. - Oh, hey, there you are! 158 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,654 Sweetheart, you disappeared while I was in the bathroom. 159 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,324 Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just got distracted by the fun party. 160 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,703 But I will not leave your side agai... Oh, my God, is that Erica? 161 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,370 No, no, please don't go talk to Erica. 162 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,708 Katrina. Erica doesn't know anybody else at this party. 163 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,501 It would be rude to leave her all by herself. 164 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,168 Well, can I at least come with you? 165 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,255 You know Erica can't talk to two people at once 166 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,132 on account of her split-brain procedure! 167 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,760 Why don't you go talk to, uh... the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? 168 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,760 Ben Stein? 169 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:35,890 I'll bet that famously boring man is a blast at parties. I'll be right back. 170 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,309 - No, don't... - Erica! Love the costume! 171 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,688 Where did you find such a hideous...? Oh, my mistake, I'm so sorry. 172 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,471 Ugh! 173 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,527 Are you sure this is a good idea, 13-year-old Todd? 174 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,113 It's part of the Halloween Code. 175 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,491 If you don't give teenagers candy, they're going to TP your house. 176 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,275 Okay. 177 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,752 Okay, I've scoped out the party, and I've yet to see a single mummy. 178 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,004 As Margaret Thatcher's children often asked, 179 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,881 "Is Mummy coming to see us?" 180 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,758 And as their nanny always replied, 181 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,216 "Not tonight." 182 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,885 - Thank god. - I have to ask, 183 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,428 what is the deal with the mummies? 184 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,307 Okay. I auditioned for The Mummy movie. 185 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,100 - The one with Brendan Fraser? - Ooh! 186 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,851 And I thought everything was going well, 187 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,313 and then something really traumatic happened. 188 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,525 - Oh, my God, what? - I, uh... I didn't get the part. 189 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,029 That's it? You just didn't get it? 190 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,698 I really wanted it! And it still haunts me! 191 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,576 It's my one major career disappointment as of 2004, 192 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,327 so could you please do me this one thing 193 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,028 and make sure I don't see any mummies? 194 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,998 I promise. No mummies. 195 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,460 Remember that time that lady freaked out 'cause she saw a mummy? 196 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,048 - Who was that lady? - Uh, that was actually Jessica Biel. 197 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,381 Who? 198 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,176 - One of my ex-wives? - Oh, yeah! 199 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,762 You've brought so many wives and girlfriends to these parties, 200 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,307 - I cannot keep track. - Well, don't forget about Pickles, huh? 201 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,602 Uh, what? Why is the waitress here talking about pickles? 202 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,727 Somebody order pickles? 203 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,231 No, BoJack, this is my girlfriend. Her name is Pickles. 204 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,066 You can remember because if you look at me, 205 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,984 and don't recall my name, you'll think, 206 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,112 "Who is this person? I'm in a real pickle!" 207 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,697 And then just know that my name is like the thing that you're in, 208 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,533 but with an "S" at the end. 209 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,534 - What? - I'm Pickles! 210 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,329 - My last name is Aplenty! - Do I need to know this one? 211 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,957 Is she gonna be around for a while? 212 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,707 I like that you're razzing me. 213 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,669 It really makes me feel like one of the gang. 214 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,130 If he teases you, that means he likes you. 215 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,132 What? Is that what people think when I tease them? 216 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,835 Cool. 217 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,889 Remember the year that Pinky won the costume contest, 218 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,725 but then it turned out he'd just lost all his belongings in a fire, 219 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,894 and those clothes were all that he owned? 220 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,813 That was classic! 221 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,190 Oh, shit, I gotta go run the costume contest. 222 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,609 Ow! My back! Why'd I do that? 223 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,487 It sounds like you all have a lot of history. 224 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,615 Yeah. I can't believe we've been doing this party since '93. 225 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:02,579 - That's the year I was born! - I... did not realize that! 226 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,529 Hey, cheers! 227 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,457 Are you having fun? 228 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:11,504 Yeah, I'm having a great time explaining my costume to people over and over again. 229 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,757 Hey, here's a thought: if you don't get someone's costume, 230 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,468 you don't need to tell them! Just live your life! 231 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,388 - Do you wanna leave? - No, no, no, no! I'm fun! 232 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,599 I don't want to leave! 233 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,224 I wanna leave! 234 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,729 Who has the yellow military assault vehicle blocking me in? 235 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,732 - Oh, that's me! - Since when do you drive a Hummer? 236 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,526 Company car. I just like it 'cause it matches my hat. 237 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:37,906 Plus, lots of room for the golf clubs, and, boy, does that kitten purr. 238 00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,783 Why don't you take her out for a spin and see how she handles? 239 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,659 What is his costume? 240 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:46,873 - Diane! Hi! - Hey... 241 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,084 Am I on the hit Priscilla Barnes vehicle Three's Company right now, 242 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,585 because three's company. 243 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,922 - I'm just trying to get out of here. - Oh, my gosh, Diane, 244 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,675 I just want you to know that I know that you and Mister have a history... 245 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,343 - "Mister?" - And I'm fine with it, 246 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:03,306 and there's no reason we should be awkward around each other, or jealous, you know? 247 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,183 - I'm not jealous of you. - Okay, good. 248 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:09,604 I'm not jealous of you either, even though you are really intimidating. 249 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,024 But if we were jealous of each other, that would be very normal, 250 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,778 so either way, it's totally cool. Totally cool. 251 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,904 Should we do shots together 252 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,115 to, like, celebrate how normal we're being? 253 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,952 Yeah, this is a good situation. 254 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,702 Okay, bye, Diane! 255 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:29,791 - Did I screw up? I'm so stupid. - No. That's just Diane. 256 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,043 She doesn't like parties and she hates fun. 257 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,171 - Oh! - No, that's not fair. She used to be fun. 258 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,091 In fact, when we first started dating, my favorite thing about her was 259 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,468 that she was so much more fun than my other ex-wives. 260 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,137 Oh, we're talking about your exes again! That's great. 261 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,515 Of course, Jessica used to be fun, too. 262 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,850 That's why I started seeing her after Katrina 263 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:52,146 because Katrina was so mean and cynical, and Jessica was sweet and full of life. 264 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,232 Yeah, she sounds awesome. 265 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,401 But, actually, now that I think about it, 266 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,195 when I first met Katrina, she was also full of life. 267 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,864 Do you want another drink? I'm going to get another drink. 268 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,534 Oh, my God. What a weird coincidence. 269 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,870 Why do all these idealistic, vivacious women eventually turn bitter 270 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,457 and cruel after being with me? What's the common denominator? 271 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,962 Ugh. 272 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,965 - Hey, buddy. - Ugh. 273 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,719 The conga line leader accidentally led us right into the pool. 274 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,177 I've never felt so alive! 275 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,139 - You should've been there! - I want to go home now. 276 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,600 - What? But this party is so fun! - It's not fun for me. 277 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,436 'Cause I don't know anyone here. 278 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:35,148 Of course you do. Just... BoJack! You remember my wife Katrina. 279 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,317 - Huh? No, I do not. - This is going great. 280 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,987 - I'm gonna go dry off. You two chat it up. - No, Mr. Peanutbutter, please. 281 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,532 Thank you for hosting this party. 282 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,025 So fun. 283 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,288 - What's the story on the hat? - It's a Blossom costume. 284 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:54,250 Oh, shit, that's right! It's Halloween. I need a costume! Good call, stranger! 285 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,034 Ugh. 286 00:13:56,210 --> 00:14:01,591 So, I love parties, as you know, but maybe we should go soon? 287 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,762 There are so many famous people here, it's actually making me kind of anxious. 288 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:09,223 Diane! Famous people are just like you and me. 289 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,225 Well, like me, because I am one. 290 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,395 Mom? No, I can't talk right now. Can I call you tomorrow? 291 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,773 Or is this the one night a year you emerge from your crypt? 292 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,359 Go introduce yourself. I'm sure he'd love to meet you! 293 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,153 - Or we could just go home? - No, come on. 294 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,655 It's Halloween, a night to face your fears. 295 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,406 That's why they call it Halloween! 296 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,202 So, you can wean yourself off of having fears! 297 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,746 Say "Hallo" to weaning! 298 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:37,126 Okay. Todd's Hummer is now blocked in by a blue Tesla. 299 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,213 I'm looking for the owner of a blue Tesla. 300 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,715 Studies say buying used is actually better for the environment, 301 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:46,135 but, hey, you tried, and subsequently trapped me at this party! 302 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,135 Oh. 303 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,836 - Hi. - Hi. 304 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,392 - So, thanks for the new script pages. - You got it. 305 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,019 Hey, listen. That submarine scene... 306 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,096 You wanna talk about it? 307 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,148 - No? - Okay. 308 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,152 We'll just put that in the large bucket of things we don't talk about. 309 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,863 - What is that supposed to mean? - That you didn't wanna talk about it. 310 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,328 This party sucks. 311 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,247 Hey, doorman! I don't have a costume. 312 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,792 And I don't wanna look stupid at my own bitchin' Halloween party. 313 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,919 Okay, I've got an idea. 314 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,882 There. You're a one-night stand. Get it? Nightstand? 315 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,135 Nice! You should be a producer or something. 316 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,802 Ha, ha. Yeah, right! 317 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:31,848 - But not yet. Keep manning the door. - Yeah. 318 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,476 Ah! All dry! Sorry, I got a little distracted on the way back 319 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,185 by some people with a Ouija board. 320 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,857 A dead soul told me to "AERXIXFASP"! 321 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,109 - What could it mean? - Cool. 322 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,736 While you were gone, Ben Stein introduced me to Tim Allen, 323 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,573 and the three of us had a long debate about government spending, 324 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,992 which is exactly how I wanted to spend my Halloween. 325 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,578 - I am so sorry. - Although, I have to say, 326 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:56,622 now that your TV show has put us into a new tax bracket, 327 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,875 maybe we should start paying attention more 328 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,625 to how the government is using our money. 329 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,085 - What? - No, I don't know, ya know, 330 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,547 I'm just saying that a true capitalist-free market 331 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,330 is actually, if you really think about it, 332 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:10,052 more fair than an arbitrary redistribution based on need. 333 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,973 - This is from Ten Minutes with Tim Allen? - You left me alone for an hour and a half! 334 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,850 I guess time flies when you're having fun? 335 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,437 I am not having fun! 336 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,403 Hey, I need a costume. I can't be costume-less at my own party. 337 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,695 Mm. 338 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,113 Hmm. 339 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,814 Follow me. 340 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,118 - Hold that. Now circle around here. - Oh. What... 341 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,078 - Okay. Just need some tape. - No. What are... Hey. 342 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,247 No, I get that there's a smoke monster, 343 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,708 but other than that, it's just Gilligan's Island, right? 344 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,211 Oh, thank you so much. 345 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,130 No! 346 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,132 Whoa! 347 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,718 Jessica! 348 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,679 Am I written by Albert Hammond and Diane Warren, 349 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,807 originally recorded by Tina Turner, but popularized by Ace of Base? 350 00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,893 Because "Don't Turn Around." 351 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,219 Huh? 352 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,942 Mummy! 353 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,695 What do you mean, a duel? 354 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,032 You mean like, like a duel, a duel? 355 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,783 Hold on, somebody's... 356 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,119 - Baby Bjorn Borg. - Oh, my God. Yes! 357 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,286 Cute. What do you want? 358 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,457 Oh, um, I actually wanted to introduce yourself. 359 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,083 I mean myself. 360 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,420 Obviously, you already know yourself, so... 361 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:31,759 Oh, God. Listen, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved Horsin' Around. 362 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:36,722 It was, like, a very formative part of my childhood. So... thank you. 363 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,768 I get a warm feeling every time I think about the song. 364 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,731 - I'm sorry. I'm on the phone right now. - Oh. 365 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,567 Uh... Sorry. 366 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,987 Yeah, Mom, I'm still here. No, it was nobody important. 367 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,280 No, I get them to Glee Club. 368 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,950 But why are they singing when they're not in the Glee Club? 369 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,494 Where's the music coming from? Doesn't seem realistic. 370 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:02,164 Why did you make me talk to BoJack? I made a complete fool of myself. 371 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,665 - No. - I can't do this. 372 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,083 I'm good in small groups. 373 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,211 I'm great in chat-rooms and message boards. 374 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,630 But I hate big parties! 375 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,964 - What? No! - Yes! 376 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,884 And I didn't wanna tell you because I know how much this party means to you. 377 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,345 But I can't be more fun than your ex-wives! 378 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,129 It's too much pressure! 379 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,047 I'm sorry. 380 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,092 Uh-huh. 381 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,980 Whoo! Uh-huh. 382 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,608 - Hey, Pickles? I'm sorry. - For what? 383 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,610 I shouldn't talk about my ex-wives so much. 384 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,362 I don't want you to feel like you have to be fun. 385 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,863 But I am fun. 386 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,116 It has nothing to do with you, or your ex-wives, 387 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:40,620 or your ex-wife Diane, who is in this room right now. 388 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:44,081 Okay, now I'm looking for the owner of a blue Tesla, 389 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,168 a red Maserati, and a gold helicopter. 390 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,755 - Let's just get out of here. - I don't wanna get out of here! 391 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,841 I'm having fun! This is fun for me! 392 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,128 What's up with the waitress? 393 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,058 You left me alone all night long! 394 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,311 I ask so little of you! And you never listen. 395 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,229 I know, but now I am listening, 396 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,066 and I swear I will stay by your side, now and forever. 397 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,819 I'll be on you like Urkel on Laura. "Will I do that?" 398 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,821 - Yes, I will. - You know what? No. 399 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,199 Because now I want to be alone. 400 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:22,578 So, have fun hanging out with all your hippie liberal friends, okay? 401 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,830 - 'Cause I'm going home. - Kar-nina! Don't go! 402 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,039 Ugh. 403 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,000 - Party's over. - All right, fine. 404 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,294 Let's make this an annual thing, though, okay? 405 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:33,673 I wanna see all of you, back here, next year! No matter what! 406 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,717 I asked you to do one thing, 407 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,136 keep me away from mummies. And you couldn't even do that! 408 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,428 Okay, in my defense, 409 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,140 I am dressed like a giant notebook, which severely limits my mobility! 410 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:46,519 How do you think I felt when I had to do that screen test all wrapped up in gauze? 411 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,813 Wait. You were auditioning to play the mummy? 412 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,650 Mom, I gotta go. Okay? I'll call you tomorrow. 413 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:57,571 Yeah. We will figure out Dad's funeral. And... I'm... I'm sorry. 414 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,786 - You! Boy! What's going on? - I think the party's over, sir. 415 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,457 I always thought that when this happened, I would feel something. 416 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,543 I don't know what, but something. 417 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,713 But I don't feel anything. What's wrong with me? 418 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,716 Nothing's wrong. Just sometimes parties are over. 419 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,095 But... Hey, it doesn't have to be over. 420 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,597 I mean, I could stick around for a little bit. 421 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:27,435 Yeah, sure, good idea. Stick around for as long as you want. 422 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,218 Yeah? 423 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,346 Okay. 424 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,113 I'm sorry I ruined another Halloween for you. 425 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,199 - You didn't ruin it. - I really wanted you to think I was fun. 426 00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:45,536 Diane, you don't need to pretend to be something you're not. 427 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,371 - I already love you. - What? 428 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,666 And I'm going to love you, no matter what version of you you are. 429 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,960 So, you might as well give me the real version. 430 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:55,920 This is good. 431 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,505 Now I know you don't like parties. 432 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,759 So, we will never have that argument again. 433 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,376 Yeah. 434 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,639 I really humiliated myself in front of BoJack. 435 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,307 If it makes you feel better, 436 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,436 I guarantee BoJack won't even remember that he met you. 437 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,803 Huh. 438 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,817 Okay, new strategy. 439 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,571 I'm looking for four strong construction workers 440 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,907 who can lift my car and carry it out to the street, 441 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,242 like in the Mentos commercial. Any takers? 442 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,618 Open the door! 443 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,286 Just leave me alone! 444 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,664 What's going on in there? Tough SAT prep course? 445 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,040 Fail her learner's permit test? 446 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,043 Skirmish with the members of the Baby-Sitter's Club? 447 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,836 - Nope. - Shattered dreams of playing Adelaide 448 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,797 in her high school's production of Guys and Dolls 449 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,382 because the musical director sees her as more of a Rusty Charlie? 450 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,091 I don't know why this keeps happening. 451 00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,762 I take these amazing women, like Pickles, like you, 452 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,389 Katrina, Jessica, and I ruin them. 453 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,681 Uh... 454 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:50,058 I'm not ruined. 455 00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:53,687 - No, I just mean... I don't listen. - Okay, yes. 456 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:56,315 It is definitely very annoying how you don't listen. 457 00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:59,527 Thank you, but you don't have to say nice things just to make me feel better. 458 00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:01,320 Huh? Okay, no. 459 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:06,158 I was going to say you not listening and I repeat, you don't listen, 460 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:09,662 - that's not the only thing going on here. - There are more things? 461 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,289 - What do all these women have in common? - They're mean? 462 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,626 - When you first start dating them. - They're fun? 463 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,712 They're young. You keep dating women in their 20s. 464 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,630 I do, do that. 465 00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:23,717 They're not fully-formed yet. Life changes people. 466 00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:26,136 - Well, not me. - That's kind of my point. 467 00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:28,597 You don't ruin these women, they just grow up. 468 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:33,394 So, what you're saying is... they all grow up, but I stay the same age? 469 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:37,648 All right. All right. All right. How do I fix that? 470 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,984 Well, either you date someone older... 471 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,487 - Ooooooor... - Or, you grow up. 472 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,198 Because otherwise, they're gonna keep outgrowing you. 473 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,649 Mind if I try? 474 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:58,586 Okay, first thing we need to do is sit you up and get you hydrated. 475 00:22:58,669 --> 00:22:59,878 Thanks. 476 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,922 I understand what you're going through. 477 00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:05,509 I've been in your position before, and this party is hard. 478 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,093 It is! 479 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,971 It's hard to be the new girlfriend. 480 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:12,975 And to be at a famous person's house, at an event with 25 years of history, 481 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,936 and all these people Mr. Peanutbutter has known for years. 482 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:19,648 - Plus, you're here. - Plus, I'm here. 483 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:23,068 - What if I'm just a rebound? - Mm. 484 00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:27,489 I was a rebound. And he loved me, so much, for ten years. 485 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,240 If there's one thing I know about him, 486 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:33,412 it's that he loves the person he's with deeply and unconditionally. 487 00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:37,291 So, you don't have to worry about me, because I'm not that person anymore. 488 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,293 - You are. - Aw. 489 00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:41,921 Oh! 490 00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,049 If you guys will excuse me, 491 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,551 I'm just gonna take this dickhole's helicopter home. 492 00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,335 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 493 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:52,473 I'm actually really glad you went through all those ex-wives 494 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:55,184 because it means I got the best version of you. 495 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:59,271 - That's right. Version 4.0. - Oh! I like the sound of that. 496 00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:02,066 Hey, you wanna just go home? Hang out, just the two of us? 497 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:05,569 Psh! No way! I just saw on Tweed Feed that Josephine's ex, Tor, 498 00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,863 is throwing a monster shindig up in NoHo. 499 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,322 Who-sephine's ex-what now? 500 00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:11,992 They have a two-story ice luge, and a huge beer pond tournament. 501 00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:13,201 And I brought new costumes, 502 00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:15,829 so we don't have to look stupid wearing the same in all our pictures. 503 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,781 I never wanna grow up! 504 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,295 Where's everybody going? It's Halloween! 505 00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:30,594 Happy Hallowee... What the? 506 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,640 - Where is everyone? - Hey, let's do this again next year. 507 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,174 I'm going to bed. 508 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,718 I love Halloween. 509 00:24:40,404 --> 00:24:44,555 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~