1 00:00:01,682 --> 00:00:05,005 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,553 You shut down production? 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,889 - Just for a couple of days. - What is going on over there? 4 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:18,644 - It's a minor injury issue. - A stunt went slightly awry. 5 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:19,644 Again? 6 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,355 And one of our stars got a little strangled. 7 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,105 - What? - Just a little strangled. 8 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,900 Like, the minimum amount of strangled. 9 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:28,153 Everyone's fine now. It's like it didn't even happen. 10 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,197 - Except... - Except what? 11 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,741 Some crew members might have taken some video 12 00:00:32,742 --> 00:00:35,202 of the incident that could leak to the press at any moment. 13 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,662 - But that's it. - Okay, I'm pulling the plug! 14 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,579 - What? - No! 15 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,541 It's too dangerous! We gotta cut our losses. 16 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,335 Cut your losses? Philbert is a monster hit! 17 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,044 We put your site on the map, boy-o, 18 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,214 so don't get squeamish now about sunk cost. 19 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,508 Face it: You need us like a fish needs a bicycle 20 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,052 in Portland, Austin, Boulder, or Minneapolis, Saint Paul! 21 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,291 - You are out of order. - Fine. 22 00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:56,723 Switch Boulder and Austin and move the Twin Cities to the front. 23 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,768 Now, can you give me a chance to get everything under control? 24 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,269 Yes! Yes! Yes! 25 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,397 You have one more chance. 26 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,524 Do you promise me you can take care of this? 27 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,443 I'm clearing my docket. This is my only priority. 28 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,946 Good, because my boss has made it very clear 29 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:16,384 that if we let him down, he will, quote, "eat my ass for dinner." 30 00:02:06,599 --> 00:02:09,641 5x12 - The Stopped Show 31 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:19,930 Hello? 32 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,225 Hey, buddy, well, how ya feeling today? 33 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,853 Weird. Am I supposed to be on set right now? 34 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,230 You just stay right there. I'm coming over. 35 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,856 - Okay. - Do me a favor, though? 36 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,026 Maybe don't watch any TV, or go on the Internet, 37 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,904 or take any phone calls from anybody else until I get there, okay? 38 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,154 What? 39 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,280 Ugh. 40 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,531 - Stuart. - What up? 41 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:41,369 Draft an email to Biscuits Braxby. I wanna set up an interview for... 42 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:45,040 - Hold on, I'm getting another call. - You want that part in the email? 43 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,167 - Hello? - Princess Carolyn! It's Sadie. 44 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,440 Remember me? You wanted my baby, and you came down 45 00:02:49,441 --> 00:02:51,630 to Eden, then you thought about your past a lot, 46 00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:53,340 and I decided not to give you my baby? 47 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,362 Of course I remember you, Sadie. 48 00:02:55,363 --> 00:02:58,762 - Unfortunately, this isn't a great time. - Anyway, I got to thinking... 49 00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:00,389 I interviewed a lot of people for adoption. 50 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,391 After I said I wasn't gonna give them the baby, 51 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,602 They all went cold or nasty. Except you. You were still nice. 52 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,688 I think that's a sign. 53 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,731 - How fast can you get to Eden? - Why? 54 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,650 My boyfriend left me, my mama stole my truck, 55 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,069 - and I don't want this baby no more. - Oh, fish, Sadie. 56 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,987 I'm kind of in the middle of something now. 57 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,780 You're in the middle of something? 58 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,908 I'm about as deep in contractions as an apostrophe! 59 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,120 I know. This is all just coming so fast. 60 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,495 I... Let me call you back. 61 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,082 Okay, but if this baby pops out and you're not here, 62 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,126 I'm putting it in a dumpster. 63 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:33,088 I'm kidding, I'm giving it to someone else. 64 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,509 - Hey. - Hi. 65 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,430 I always forget how tiny and Dickensian this place is. 66 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:45,016 It's really great how you don't need nice things to be happy. 67 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,519 Yes, I agree. What do you want? 68 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,813 For the last couple months, I've had work to distract me, 69 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,942 but now that we're on strangle hiatus, I can't stop thinking about that "thing" 70 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,819 that happened in the prepiere of the Philbert. 71 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,821 - "Strangle hiatus?" - Diane, stay on topic. 72 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,365 - You know what "thing" I'm talking about? - Yes. 73 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,824 - The thing between us? - Got it. 74 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,825 When we had sex? 75 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,203 I was on top and then briefly on bottom. Human-y style? 76 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,203 Yep, I remember. 77 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:09,583 Pickles has no idea, and I've never felt so guilty in my life. 78 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,125 I hate keeping secrets from people. 79 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,295 It's like Rob Schneider's surprise party all over again. 80 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,078 You cheating on your girlfriend 81 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,799 is not the same as Rob Schneider's surprise party. 82 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,635 You're right, this is much less sad and involves more people. 83 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:25,390 - Just tell Pickles the truth. - Oh, I'm not good at giving bad news. 84 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,726 - Could you do it? - What? No! 85 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,521 But you're so good at bumming people out. I'm more of a "good news" guy. 86 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,899 You want your ex-wife to explain the fact 87 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,110 that you cheated with your ex-wife to your current girlfriend? 88 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:40,781 Well, of course every idea sounds stupid if you describe what it is. 89 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,366 You're not the only one who feels gross about that night. 90 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,411 Do you have any idea how shitty I felt after you left? 91 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,288 So I made you feel gross, and now... 92 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,625 No, you didn't make me anything! I am gross. 93 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,503 I feel, all the time, like a garbage fire. 94 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,005 And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley, 95 00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:00,717 but a barge, floating out to sea, with no rudder. 96 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,845 I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge. 97 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,556 Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way all the time, 98 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,601 but I don't usually, and now, for the first time ever, I do, 99 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,686 and I don't know what to do with that feeling! 100 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,397 - Good! You should feel bad! - Well, I do! 101 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,441 - Great! Me, too! - Great! 102 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,225 Great! 103 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,871 So, what, exactly, do you think happened last night? 104 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,288 Uh... 105 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,834 I don't know. We shot some stuff? 106 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,254 There was an accident on set and Gina got injured. 107 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,037 - Oh, my God, she did? - She's fine. 108 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,008 - But some footage has gotten out. - Footage? 109 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,802 And because of how it looks, 110 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,389 some people might get the impression that you were trying to hurt Gina. 111 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:50,225 - They're gonna get the impression. - Right. 112 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,269 - But I wasn't. - Of course not. 113 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,269 What did happen? 114 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:58,108 So, the two of you are gonna do a sit-down interview with Biscuits Braxby. 115 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,483 She makes news fun! 116 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,654 Yes. All you need to say is that you know the footage looks bad, 117 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,238 but you and Gina are actors. 118 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,823 You performed a convincing scene, 119 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,201 and you can't wait for everyone to see the new season. 120 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,247 Well, it seems like you've got everything under control. 121 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,001 I'm sorry things got so messy with the show. 122 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,461 I didn't always look out for you as much as I should have. 123 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,047 I can take care of myself. I know you've got a lot on your plate. 124 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,758 It's just been so crazy, this adoption process, 125 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:27,554 but I think once I get a baby, my life will be less hectic, you know? 126 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,221 Oh, sure. 127 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,892 That is why new mothers always seem so chilled-out and well-rested. 128 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:32,892 Okay, buddy. 129 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,437 Why don't you save your funny jokes for the interview? 130 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,398 But please don't make jokes at the interview. 131 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,820 Sorry I broke every piece of furniture you own. 132 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,449 - Will 20 dollars cover it? - Don't worry about it. But, yes. 133 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,367 - So, what happens now? - I don't know. 134 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,161 - I have to tell Pickles. - Yeah. 135 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,414 - I'll tell her you and I had a talk. - Okay. 136 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,541 - And we're getting back together. - Wait, what? 137 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,585 - But she's a great girl. - No, no. 138 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,629 But she is a great girl. You just don't know her. 139 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,087 No, Mr. Peanutbutter. 140 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,424 I don't want to get back together with you. 141 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,718 - What? - I think you misunderstood. 142 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,555 - Then why do you keep doing this? - Why do you keep doing this? 143 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,139 - Because I love you! - Don't say that. 144 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,184 It's true. I never stopped loving you. 145 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,437 No. We can't do this ever again. 146 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,272 I'm sorry. 147 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,359 See? I told you you were great at giving bad news. 148 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,277 That is not what I wanted to hear. 149 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,617 BoJack, Biscuits. Biscuits, BoJack. 150 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,496 This interview's gonna go down smooth, like a 1995 Zinfandel. 151 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,457 You ever try one of those '95 zins? Good year for Zinfandels. 152 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,626 Bad year for Oklahoma federal buildings. 153 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,380 - M'kay. - Here's how it's gonna go down. 154 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,664 Red light on the camera goes bloop! 155 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,466 I go, "Hey!" You go, "Hey!" I go, "Video?" 156 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,800 You go, "Nah!" I go, "Really?" 157 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,011 You go, "Well..." and you roll me through the rigamarole. 158 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,972 - Oh, don't... - Don't forget to plug your show. 159 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,599 Then I go, "Wow. This has been so illuminating. Thank you so much." 160 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,227 Red light goes boo-de-de-boop, we'll be out of here before Traffic. 161 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,105 And, yes, I'm talking about the Stephen Soderbergh movie Traffic. 162 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,108 It's playing on FX tonight, and I'm hoping to catch it. 163 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,891 Love me some Cheadle. 164 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,946 Am I crazy or was she kind of hitting on me? 165 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,969 Yeah. You guys have a real flirty energy, like Matt Lauer 166 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,910 and those magazine cut-outs he now interviews in his kitchen. 167 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,621 - This should be fun. - Now that's the spirit! 168 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,330 You gotta show me this video. 169 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,031 No, I really don't think that's necessary. 170 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,460 I'll look like an idiot if I don't know what I'm talking about. 171 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,546 Just let me see it. How bad could it be? 172 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,401 Cut to: "Ooh, it's really bad!" 173 00:08:26,402 --> 00:08:28,174 But, no, seriously, can I see it? 174 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,554 Hey, wow, look at me go. 175 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,681 - BoJack! - Oh. Oh! 176 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,725 Oh, look out, I'm getting really, um... 177 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,385 - Well, this looks like... - Yeah. 178 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,071 Because I'm actually... 179 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,265 Yeah. 180 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,242 Diane! What have you been up to? Tell me everything. 181 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,286 Well, actually, I've been working on a book of essays... 182 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,069 Okay, I was obviously asking to be polite, 183 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,914 and it's very rude of you to assume that I care. 184 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,542 I have news that's actually interesting. 185 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:07,213 Girl Croosh is pivoting to video, and I want you to be the face. 186 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,797 - The face? - Of the site. 187 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,926 Every woman under 40 will tune in to hear what you have to say. 188 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,345 And possibly women over 40, but we have no way of knowing 189 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,389 because they're invisible to our site metrics. 190 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,015 Stefani... no. 191 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,477 I don't understand. My parents never said no to me growing up, 192 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,438 so I'm literally incapable of processing it as a concept. 193 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:27,692 I'm a hypocrite. I'm miserable and I make other people miserable. 194 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,112 I don't know what I'm doing. I can't be a trusted news source, 195 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:34,449 or an authority, or a role model for anybody. 196 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,035 Uh, no one called you a "role model." Settle down. 197 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,162 - Oh. Um... - You know what your problem is? 198 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,831 You hold everyone to an impossible standard, 199 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,750 including yourself. 200 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,753 It's super helpful for writing hot-take shakedowns, 201 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,006 and clickbait take-downs, but totally toxic for your personal life 202 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,509 and internalized sense of self-worth, girl. 203 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,677 But shouldn't we be asking more of ourselves 204 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,807 - and of the people in our lives? - Of course. But we all fail, Diane. 205 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,059 The world is unforgiving enough as it is. 206 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:05,188 The least we could do is find ways to forgive each other and ourselves. 207 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,441 Well, then maybe we should be more forgiving in our content, 208 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,069 and maybe not publish so many take-downs? 209 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,852 Oh, Diane. 210 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,243 All right, let's bring in the talent. 211 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,078 Hey, is this a good time to talk? 212 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,623 No, Stuart. This is a very bad time. We're about to shoot the interview. 213 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,209 Oh, sorry, I haven't memorized your schedule. 214 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,920 - You could write it down. - With what, a quill? 215 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,339 - Okay, Elbridge Gerry. - What? 216 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,883 Anyway, this lady showed up at the office 217 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,719 and she was being super annoying, so I brought her here. 218 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,345 - What lady? - Hey. 219 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,182 Why aren't you answering your phone? Why aren't you in North Carolina? 220 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,976 We're having a bit of a PR crisis. 221 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,895 As soon as this is settled I will take the first plane there, 222 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,730 but this is just not the best time. 223 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,859 Look, if you can't do this, don't do it. 224 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,112 My mom worked all the time and she never made time for me. 225 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,072 I felt so alone growing up, 226 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,825 especially because I never knew my dad or my twin brother 227 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,161 because our parents broke up when we were babies, 228 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,204 and wouldn't even talk to each other. 229 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,748 Oh, Tracy, I had no idea. 230 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:06,957 My whole life, 231 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:11,254 all I had was this half of a medallion with part of a family crest on it. 232 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,174 The crest of a family I'll never know. 233 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,092 - Boring. - Ex-squeeze me? 234 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,759 Sorry, but your story sucks. 235 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,722 I mean, who wasn't separated from their family as a baby 236 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,640 and still wears their half of a medallion 237 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:26,144 in the hopes of one day being reunited with their long-lost twin? 238 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,147 That exact thing happened to me and you don't see me bitching about it. 239 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,066 - God, get over yourself. - Get over yourself. 240 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,194 I didn't realize it was a common thing. 241 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:38,156 Well, obviously it is, so can you get to your point already? 242 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,826 I was getting to it if you'd quit talking already. 243 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,830 My point is, not every woman is supposed to be a mother. 244 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:46,997 Maybe you'd be happier 245 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,250 if you freed yourself from that expectation, 246 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,754 and just lived the life you'd clearly rather be living. 247 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,837 Two minutes to air! 248 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,425 No, that's not... I'm not... I can't even deal with this right now. 249 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,969 - You need to leave. - All right, let's go. 250 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,345 She's in one of her moods. 251 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:05,016 I still think it's pretty nutty we both have the left half of a medallion. 252 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,475 Like, what are the odds? 253 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,771 Nah, it's a completely different thing with me. Mine is the right half. 254 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,731 - So... - Oh, okay. 255 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,146 Hey. 256 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,159 - Hello, BoJack. - Are you okay? You look good. 257 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,785 Yeah, makeup covered the bruises. 258 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,288 - Gina, I'm so sorry. - Let's just do the interview, okay? 259 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,415 - I'm gonna come clean about everything. - What? 260 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,999 Everyone needs to know what I did. 261 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,835 Please get in positions. 262 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:33,877 No. Don't do that. 263 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,965 Gina, what I did to you... I saw the video and it looked pretty bad. 264 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,382 I'll say it was pretty bad. 265 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,716 - It was assault. - Yeah. 266 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,218 You physically overpowered me, 267 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,097 and if there were any justice, you would be in jail right now. 268 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,097 Okay, so... 269 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,014 But my career, 270 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,269 after so many failed attempts, is finally starting to take off. 271 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,688 I am getting offers, and fan mail, 272 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,440 and magazine columns about what a good actor I am. 273 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,693 People know me because of my acting. 274 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,529 And all that goes away if I'm just 275 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,406 the girl who got choked by BoJack Horseman. 276 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,531 I can't lie about this. 277 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,119 I don't want you to be the most notable thing that ever happened to me. 278 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,621 I don't want you to be the question I get asked in interviews 279 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:09,788 for the rest of my life. 280 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,292 - Gina, I... - You need to do this for me, okay? 281 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,917 Because I just want this to be over. 282 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,129 Can we talk about it, maybe after the interview? 283 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,048 No. I will be civil to you on set when we have scenes together, 284 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,176 but otherwise, I never wanna think about you again. 285 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,346 - Hey, guys, how are we doing? - So good, Biscuits. 286 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,890 We're so excited to be here, aren't we, BoJack? 287 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,059 Um, yeah. 288 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,688 I'm here with BoJack Horseman and Gina Cazador, 289 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,024 stars of the hit show Philbert. 290 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,276 Let's cut to the chase. That video. 291 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,321 Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. 292 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:46,075 - This is all a misunderstanding. - I mean, it's kind of hilarious. 293 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,161 We've actually been laughing about it here on set! 294 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,207 Really? BoJack looks so angry in the video. 295 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,376 And Gina, you look terrified. 296 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,754 Biscuits, we're actors. It's what we do. 297 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,340 - Oh, thank God. - Yep, actors. 298 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,760 Okay, I gotta ask. Is the story true? Are you two an item? 299 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,385 Busted! 300 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,638 Oh, boy. Looks like you got your scoop! 301 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,222 Can you give us a kiss? 302 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,923 - Uh... - Sure thing. 303 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,105 - What's it like dating your co-star? - It's so great. 304 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,816 I'll bet sometimes, though, you wanna strangle each other, right? 305 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:19,900 Oh, you bet! 306 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,407 Okay, you two. This has been illuminating. 307 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,743 Thank you so much. 308 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,329 - That's a cut! - That was amazing. 309 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,112 Mm-hmm. 310 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,828 You wanted to see me, Mr. Fondle? 311 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,592 I must make love to you. 312 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,429 You mean to my brain, because I have such good ideas. 313 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:51,224 Thanks for the encouragement. I never got that at my last job. 314 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,599 Nice boobs. 315 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,142 That's exactly right. 316 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,938 Those guys were nice, but they were total boobs. 317 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,232 Anyway, I'm gonna go review the third quarter budget 318 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,482 with our diagnostics team. 319 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,277 - Insufficient power. - To review the budget? 320 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,154 Insufficient power. 321 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,574 Are you saying I don't have the authority to do my job? 322 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,410 Now entering sleep mode. 323 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,035 You wanna sleep with me? 324 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,622 That is not a mode I'm comfortable with, Mr. Fondle. 325 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,666 Please connect to power source! 326 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,878 So first, he said I had insufficient power... 327 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:21,878 Wow. 328 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,714 Which I have never heard him say to a man. 329 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,592 And then he asked me to "connect" to his "power source." 330 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,929 Did you feel physically threatened? Was there any implication of assault? 331 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,558 Not assault, but he did make a mention of "low battery". 332 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,811 It is never acceptable to threaten an employee with battery at any level. 333 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,979 What time is it right now? 334 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,524 For female employees of one popular website, 335 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,318 the answer is Sexual Harassment O'Clock! 336 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,488 What started with the allegations of one junior executive 337 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,741 has quickly snowballed into an avalanche of accusation, 338 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:53,077 as women at every level have come forward 339 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,997 with their own harrowing stories of what happens 340 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,083 when the big hand meets the little hand. 341 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:04,213 He said he wanted to "... get all up in my guts with his penis 342 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,048 and ejaculate inside me." 343 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,885 At the time, I just thought it was typical corporate banter, 344 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,096 but now I'm like, uh... 345 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,680 Look, obviously, 346 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,518 men should not be engaging in predatory behavior at the office, 347 00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:21,189 but I'm worried now the pendulum's gonna swing too far in the other extreme 348 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:24,567 where they'll be held accountable for that behavior, and that's not ideal. 349 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,862 Uh, Henry Fondle is a sex robot, 350 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:31,782 and he should not be a CEO of any company. 351 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:35,495 When you say "sex robot," you're speaking metaphorically, right? 352 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,038 No. 353 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:42,043 The board has taken decisive action to remove Henry Fondle 354 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,504 by placing him on an indefinite paid leave. 355 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:48,382 Meanwhile, we will be scaling back, canceling our slate of streaming series 356 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,969 and refocusing on our original mission of being a website you can go to 357 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:55,014 if you don't know what time it is, that also doesn't harass anyone. 358 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,475 This is a great day for the women of this company, 359 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,477 many of whom will be laid off. 360 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,566 So, you got a call from your dentist; no cavities. 361 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,694 Emily Van Camp wants to move your four o'clock to five. 362 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:13,074 And also, Todd wanted me to let you know that the network folded, 363 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,910 everyone got fired... And your show is canceled. 364 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,371 - What? - It's over. It's all over. 365 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,623 What are you talking about? It's not over. 366 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,833 We just have to find our baby another home. 367 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,794 Maybe What Time Is It Right Now is gone, 368 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,129 but there are like a billion other websites, right? 369 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,258 What about that website you go to, to pay your parking tickets? 370 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,094 Or if we're really desperate, TNT? 371 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,013 The point is we're just getting started, Princess Carolyn! 372 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,015 Princess Carolyn? 373 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,226 She's gone. 374 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,260 Unless... 375 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,481 I was Princess Carolyn the whole time. 376 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,234 Mm. 377 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,987 Oh, fish! 378 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,742 Well, this is it, Henry Fondle. The end of the line. 379 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,076 Hiya, hotshot. 380 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,622 I've been following your career pretty closely and I like what I see. 381 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:05,084 How'd you like a corner office at Disney-Fox-AT&T-AOL- 382 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,879 Time-Warner- Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton- Skynet-Toyota-Trader-Joe's? 383 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,171 Give it to me! 384 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:14,343 Uh, you know this guy just got fired for sexual harassment, right? 385 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,055 Yeah, so he's learned his lesson and he's ready to reenter the workforce. 386 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,057 I have many penises. 387 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,727 You said it, buddy. Give us a call. 388 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,482 Do you wanna take a ride? There's something I wanna show you. 389 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,610 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 390 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,491 Oh, hello. 391 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,328 Shouldn't you be out "not really strangling" someone? 392 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,745 The last time I saw you, 393 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,248 you said you still believed I could be a better person. 394 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,542 - Do you still believe that? - I do. 395 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,586 I need you to write one of your take-downs. 396 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:49,711 - About me. - What? 397 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,632 You can't write anything about Gina, but... the other stuff. 398 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,215 Everything. I need to get it out. 399 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:58,929 No. I'm done writing about you, or for you, or with you. 400 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,639 Diane, please, I need this. 401 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,558 I'm a bad guy and the world needs to know. 402 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:06,312 There's no such thing as "bad guys" or "good guys." 403 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,979 We're all just... guys... 404 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,567 who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. 405 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,780 And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff, 406 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,283 but you're never going to be good. Because you're not bad. 407 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,619 So, you need to stop using that as an excuse. 408 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,788 I am asking to be held accountable. 409 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,956 And I'm telling you it's not gonna happen. 410 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,002 Whatever you put in that story, no one is gonna "hold you accountable." 411 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,171 You need to take responsibility for yourself. 412 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,880 I don't know how to do that! 413 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,890 This is it. My special thinking spot. 414 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:46,227 Let us put on a Lionel Richie album, 415 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,479 and finger each other's holes. 416 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,566 Shh. Henry, no. There'll be time for that later. 417 00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,403 I love it when you call me Father. 418 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,186 That's right. 419 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,438 I... I... 420 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:04,620 I love you, Fatheeeeeer... 421 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:09,083 Shh. It's okay. It's over now. It's all over. 422 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,492 Oh, man. 423 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,872 Okay. 424 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,344 Aw. 425 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,931 She's beautiful. What are you gonna call her? 426 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,559 Untitled Princess Carolyn Project. 427 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,218 But not really, though, right? 428 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,735 Hey, do you think my cactus is gonna be okay if I'm not there for six weeks? 429 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,612 Yeah, I think your cactus is gonna be okay. 430 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,116 - Is this a mistake? - No. 431 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,123 Wow, it feels so weird to be eating here. 432 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,292 So, this is what it's like from the other side. 433 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,042 Pickles, I took you here 434 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,755 because I wanted you to be somewhere you felt comfortable. 435 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,965 Aw, that's so sweet, Mister. 436 00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,634 Because I need to talk to you about something. 437 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:03,429 Oh, no, this is really bad. Why would you do this to me? 438 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,846 I didn't tell you what it is. 439 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,308 No one ever "needs to talk" about something good! 440 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,685 No one ever says, "I need to talk to you: Happy Birthday" 441 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,354 or, "I need to talk to you: Felicity Jones hired a new stylist 442 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,690 and her red carpet looks this season are to die for!" 443 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,860 Well, good news first: Felicity Jones did hire a new stylist, 444 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,988 but sadly, her fashion choices just aren't popping. 445 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:24,909 Oh, no! This is bad news! Well, thank you for telling me. 446 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,827 That isn't the thing I was going to tell you. 447 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,369 There's more bad news? 448 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,915 Is it worse or not as bad as the Felicity Jones thing? 449 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,000 Well, it's different... 450 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,878 Whatever it is, we're going to get through it together. 451 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:40,424 Whatever it is, I love you, and nothing's going to change that. 452 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,928 Nothing you say is going to make me stop loving you, no matter what. 453 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,930 Pickles... I... 454 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,297 What is it? 455 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,352 Will you marry me? 456 00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,692 What do I say... when I go in? 457 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:03,489 You say, "Hello. I am BoJack. Horseman, obviously. 458 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,407 You've probably heard of me. I'm very famous. 459 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,785 So... Sober me up, please!" 460 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,662 What if I get sober... 461 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,915 and I'm still the same awful person I've always been, 462 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,708 only more... sober? 463 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,378 I think that is a very real possibility. 464 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,087 - Don't be shitty. - I'm not. 465 00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:22,466 Rehab is not a cure-all that's gonna suddenly make you not an asshole. 466 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,844 Then why are we doing this? Let's turn around and go home. 467 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,302 - You wanna go home? - Is that okay? 468 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,887 Look, you have two options. 469 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,099 You can go back home and try to do things your way, 470 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,882 like you've been doing all your life, 471 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,562 or you can see what these guys have to offer. 472 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,567 I don't understand why you're being so nice to me. 473 00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:42,486 After everything you know about me, all the shit I put you through. 474 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:46,991 When I was in high school, I had this friend. Abby. 475 00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,910 She was my only friend and we did everything together, 476 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:53,873 until she got adopted by the cool kids and then she turned on me... 477 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,373 so fast. 478 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,836 She used every secret she knew about me, every vulnerability. 479 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:02,172 She made me miserable my entire sophomore year. 480 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:06,844 But then that summer when her mom got sick, like really sick, 481 00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:10,306 and all her cool friends were off vacationing in Martha's Vineyard, 482 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,850 - I was there for her. - Why? 483 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:17,229 Because I'm an idiot. And it was Abby. 484 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:20,900 And I hated her, and I will never forgive her, 485 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:25,237 but she needed me and... she was my best friend and I loved her. 486 00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:30,618 And now... you're here, and I hate you, 487 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:34,872 but you're my best friend, and you need me. 488 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,711 You know what you're gonna say? You wanna practice? 489 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:44,506 I'm gonna say, "Hello. I am BoJack Horseman. 490 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,342 Obviously, you know who I am, 491 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,428 because I'm very famous, and also we called ahead. 492 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,724 And I am here because... I need help." 493 00:24:52,382 --> 00:24:57,160 sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~