1
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,551
Sarah Lynn.

2
00:00:07,552 --> 00:00:08,803
Sarah Lynn?

3
00:00:17,437 --> 00:00:19,689
I don't have a lot to tell.
She called me.

4
00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:21,816
She sounded a little off. I...

5
00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:26,654
So, I drove to the planetarium,
and I found her passed out.

6
00:00:26,738 --> 00:00:29,115
I called 911 right away,
but it was too late.

7
00:00:31,618 --> 00:00:33,870
I'm so sorry.

8
00:00:33,954 --> 00:00:35,121
I did everything I could.

9
00:00:35,497 --> 00:00:38,541
It's my fault. I'm a terrible mother.

10
00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:41,252
No. It's no one's fault.

11
00:00:43,338 --> 00:00:47,675
So, you don't know
where Sarah Lynn got the heroin from?

12
00:00:47,759 --> 00:00:49,343
- I have no idea.
- Alrighty then.

13
00:00:49,427 --> 00:00:51,470
That's the only question I had.

14
00:00:51,554 --> 00:00:54,140
I mean, of course I knew
she was doing a lot of drugs.

15
00:00:54,224 --> 00:00:56,309
But that's who she was. Who I was.

16
00:00:56,393 --> 00:00:58,227
It felt like we could keep
partying forever

17
00:00:58,311 --> 00:00:59,459
and it wouldn't catch up with us.

18
00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,439
Got it. Don't need any more information.

19
00:01:01,523 --> 00:01:02,815
I was in a bad way.

20
00:01:02,899 --> 00:01:04,630
And Sarah Lynn followed me down

21
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:07,674
because she thought I was a safe place.

22
00:01:07,758 --> 00:01:08,821
What have I done?

23
00:01:08,905 --> 00:01:11,449
Just to be clear, the case is closed.

24
00:01:11,533 --> 00:01:12,825
You can stop rambling.

25
00:01:15,203 --> 00:01:17,372
I gotta make some changes in my life.

26
00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:19,791
Starting now.

27
00:01:29,926 --> 00:01:34,139
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

28
00:01:38,935 --> 00:01:41,896
- I need help. Hello? Ah!
- Checking in.

29
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,231
- Welcome to Pastiches Malibu!
- Great.

30
00:01:44,315 --> 00:01:47,063
I see you have the six-week
package, so...

31
00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:48,486
A hundred thousand dollars, please!

32
00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:50,529
A hundred thou... Jesus!

33
00:01:50,613 --> 00:01:53,199
Does every room come
with a free bag full of $90,000?

34
00:01:53,283 --> 00:01:54,865
Can't put a price on clean living.

35
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,911
And yet somehow you found a way.

36
00:01:56,995 --> 00:01:59,789
Before I take you to your room,
could we get a selfie?

37
00:01:59,873 --> 00:02:01,291
What? No.

38
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:04,418
Every client that comes here
takes a picture with me.

39
00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:07,463
Goes on the wall. Kind of a tradition.

40
00:02:07,547 --> 00:02:10,383
I'm not in the mood.
I look awful, first of all.

41
00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:12,536
Johnny Depp did it and
he looked just as puffy

42
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:13,696
and ghoulish as you do.

43
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:16,472
Hey, groundhog. I said no.
Why don't you go see your own shadow

44
00:02:16,556 --> 00:02:19,433
so I can get six more weeks
of "Leave Me The Hell Alone"?

45
00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:21,143
I'm so sorry, sir.

46
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:23,813
Thank you. Now if you'll
kindly direct me to my room,

47
00:02:23,897 --> 00:02:25,940
I would like to begin
the process of healing,

48
00:02:26,024 --> 00:02:29,151
so I can finally stop hurting
the people around me, dipshit!

49
00:03:53,903 --> 00:03:54,946
Oh.

50
00:03:56,322 --> 00:03:59,992
So, when I went to the country club
for Sheila's luncheon...

51
00:04:00,076 --> 00:04:01,619
Yes. Let it out.

52
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:05,790
I had to wear the same suit
I had just worn to Sandra's tea party.

53
00:04:05,874 --> 00:04:07,116
- Yeah.
- Oh.

54
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,753
I think of that as my rock bottom.

55
00:04:10,837 --> 00:04:13,715
Denise, thank you
for sharing your story. So brave.

56
00:04:14,174 --> 00:04:15,841
Denise, we are powerless

57
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:17,551
- over our addictions
- Uh-huh.

58
00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:20,096
We have a saying in rehab,
"Everyone takes a different road

59
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:22,910
to get to the same city,
Soberopolis, USA."

60
00:04:22,994 --> 00:04:24,100
Hold on a sec. What?

61
00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:27,394
BoJack, maybe you could tell us
when was the first time you drank?

62
00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:29,271
When wasn't the first time I drank?

63
00:04:29,355 --> 00:04:30,773
Am I right?

64
00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:37,404
Your last day's tomorrow.

65
00:04:37,488 --> 00:04:39,281
You think you're ready
to go back into the world?

66
00:04:39,365 --> 00:04:42,451
I do. I feel good, I feel clear.

67
00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:45,037
You know, just because you cleaned
the tobacco out of your teeth

68
00:04:45,121 --> 00:04:46,956
don't mean it's your wedding day,
pardon the expression.

69
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,332
I don't believe that is an expression.

70
00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:50,459
I notice you tend to deflect
whenever I ask you

71
00:04:50,543 --> 00:04:52,211
about the source of your addiction.

72
00:04:52,295 --> 00:04:53,329
I don't deflect.

73
00:04:53,413 --> 00:04:55,464
Hey, is that a new tie?
Because I love it.

74
00:04:55,548 --> 00:04:59,635
You understand a joke about deflection
is still a deflection, right?

75
00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:01,846
I came here to take responsibility
for myself,

76
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:04,640
and all I keep hearing is,
"It's not your fault,

77
00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:06,392
you are powerless over your addiction."

78
00:05:06,476 --> 00:05:09,228
- That is the first step.
- And while we're at it, why 12 steps?

79
00:05:09,312 --> 00:05:11,981
That is way too many.
Nobody wants to do 12 of anything.

80
00:05:12,065 --> 00:05:13,357
Did you see 12 Years a Slave

81
00:05:13,441 --> 00:05:16,068
and think, "Twelve. That's a short
number of years to be a slave."

82
00:05:16,152 --> 00:05:18,863
- You're deflecting again.
- I'm here because I made choices.

83
00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:20,406
Nobody made me drink.

84
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:22,408
My addiction didn't pull a knife on me

85
00:05:22,492 --> 00:05:25,578
and say, "Hey, bub! Drink this alcohol
or I'm gonna strangle you.

86
00:05:25,662 --> 00:05:28,038
After I put down this knife,
which now seems unnecessary."

87
00:05:28,122 --> 00:05:29,250
We have a saying

88
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,791
- in the sober community.
- No kidding.

89
00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:33,544
"We want what our addictions
want us to want,

90
00:05:33,628 --> 00:05:35,106
in the same way that our future

91
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,717
is just a house built from the materials

92
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,841
of our present on the blueprint
that is our past."

93
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:41,401
See, usually the point of sayings

94
00:05:41,485 --> 00:05:43,220
is they illustrate complicated concepts

95
00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:44,638
via straightforward allegory.

96
00:05:44,722 --> 00:05:46,807
I really admire
that your sayings don't do that.

97
00:05:46,891 --> 00:05:49,435
If you don't wanna be here,
you don't have to wait until tomorrow.

98
00:05:49,519 --> 00:05:51,604
The gate code is 12,
for the number of steps,

99
00:05:51,688 --> 00:05:54,399
then my mom's birthday,
which is March 4th, '56.

100
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:57,776
So, the gate code
is one, two, three, four, five, six?

101
00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:01,781
You can leave whenever you'd like.
But is that really what you want?

102
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,992
No.

103
00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:09,747
It's so beautiful.

104
00:06:09,831 --> 00:06:11,081
And I know a lot about art

105
00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:13,918
because my husband owns
a Jackson Pollock.

106
00:06:14,002 --> 00:06:16,128
My dad owns a signed picture
of Kevin Pollak.

107
00:06:16,212 --> 00:06:17,630
What about you, BoJack?

108
00:06:17,714 --> 00:06:19,181
Did you grow up in a house
with a lot of art?

109
00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:22,092
Well, my parents practiced
the art of being terrible parents.

110
00:06:23,845 --> 00:06:26,639
BoJack, you can't joke your way
through this.

111
00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:28,766
Everyone else in this group
is trying hard to be honest.

112
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:31,393
Really? Everyone's being honest?

113
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:33,562
Doug over here,
who keeps dressing in a suit and tie

114
00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:35,356
even though he's never getting
his finance job back?

115
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,149
Oh! Savage!

116
00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:38,817
And Joan Tripplehorn?

117
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,738
We all know you're
just Jeanne Tripplehorn

118
00:06:40,822 --> 00:06:42,112
wearing fake glasses!

119
00:06:42,196 --> 00:06:44,740
What? No!

120
00:06:44,824 --> 00:06:47,326
I'm Jeanne's identical twin Joan.

121
00:06:47,410 --> 00:06:50,037
Mm, Jeanne Tripplehorn.
Not an alcoholic.

122
00:06:50,121 --> 00:06:53,332
And that guy with the fake mustache
is obviously actor Jay Hernandez

123
00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:55,417
who's just here to do
research for a role.

124
00:06:55,501 --> 00:06:57,253
No. I'm a no "Hernandez."

125
00:06:57,337 --> 00:07:01,257
Like I say, my name is Mario.
Directed by Zack Snyder.

126
00:07:01,341 --> 00:07:04,093
I'm addicted to pain pills from breaking
too many bricks on my head.

127
00:07:04,177 --> 00:07:06,220
BoJack's right! You all suck!

128
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:08,264
- Yeah, well, let's talk about Jameson.
- Uh...

129
00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:10,641
- I'd rather you not.
- She would love to get sober

130
00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:13,269
but still has her friend McCaitlyn
sneak her water bottles

131
00:07:13,353 --> 00:07:15,104
filled with vodka every visiting day.

132
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:16,190
Jameson?

133
00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:18,148
- Um...
- Have you been smuggling in alcohol?

134
00:07:18,232 --> 00:07:22,361
How is this my fault?
I blame water for being vodka-colored!

135
00:07:22,445 --> 00:07:24,071
This is your fifth time in rehab.

136
00:07:24,155 --> 00:07:26,037
Maybe it's a sign it's not working, huh?

137
00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:28,492
- BoJack...
- Everyone, just as a general rule,

138
00:07:28,576 --> 00:07:31,078
if you're checking into rehab
more than once,

139
00:07:31,162 --> 00:07:33,372
either you're a lost cause...

140
00:07:33,456 --> 00:07:36,667
or this is just an industry
that profits off of repeat customers,

141
00:07:36,751 --> 00:07:39,795
so maybe they don't have
your best interest at heart.

142
00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:41,672
- Oh!
- How's that for honest?

143
00:07:42,215 --> 00:07:44,008
Mamma mia.

144
00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:50,889
Hey, snitch! I only sneak in vodka

145
00:07:50,973 --> 00:07:53,726
because I have to make it through
six weeks of this bullshit.

146
00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:55,227
I don't even need to be here.

147
00:07:55,311 --> 00:07:57,896
My dad totally overreacted
when he found me not breathing.

148
00:07:57,980 --> 00:07:59,815
Yeah, it's always
someone else's fault, right?

149
00:07:59,899 --> 00:08:01,533
You have no idea what I've been through.

150
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:02,943
I know everything you've been through.

151
00:08:03,027 --> 00:08:05,154
I listen in group!
Your mom died of cancer.

152
00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:07,448
Your dad stuck you in boarding school
and remarried.

153
00:08:07,532 --> 00:08:10,200
And now there's a new baby
and no one pays attention to you.

154
00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:11,994
But it's not his fault
you're drinking in rehab.

155
00:08:12,078 --> 00:08:14,121
I was sober for most of last year

156
00:08:14,205 --> 00:08:16,457
and he just waited for me to slip up
so he could ship me here

157
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:19,001
so I wouldn't embarrass him
and ruin his new perfect family...

158
00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:20,210
Hey, if you don't wanna be here,

159
00:08:20,294 --> 00:08:22,463
the gate code is one, two,
three, four, five, six.

160
00:08:22,547 --> 00:08:25,090
You could sneak out the upstairs window
after midnight bed check

161
00:08:25,174 --> 00:08:26,383
by tying your sheets into a rope

162
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:28,302
and nobody would notice
you're gone until wake up.

163
00:08:28,386 --> 00:08:30,680
But... is that what you really want?

164
00:08:31,139 --> 00:08:32,390
Ugh!

165
00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,065
Holy sheet!

166
00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:43,734
I've heard of being at the end
of my rope...

167
00:08:43,818 --> 00:08:46,195
but this is ridiculous!

168
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:48,989
Why would Sabrina run away like that?

169
00:08:49,073 --> 00:08:50,368
Because I had to break it to her

170
00:08:50,452 --> 00:08:52,076
that you weren't going
to be her new mommy,

171
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,413
international supermodel Cindy Crawfish!

172
00:08:56,122 --> 00:08:58,707
When I was flying to Paris
for Paris Fashion Week

173
00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:01,043
and my private plane crashed
into your backyard,

174
00:09:01,127 --> 00:09:05,560
the one thing I never expected
was to find someone so special.

175
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:06,799
Oh.

176
00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:08,592
Aw!

177
00:09:08,676 --> 00:09:11,012
Cut! That's a five, everyone!

178
00:09:12,054 --> 00:09:13,722
So, look, you're doing everything great.

179
00:09:13,806 --> 00:09:17,059
I'm loving your instincts, it's dead on,
couldn't be better, perfect.

180
00:09:17,143 --> 00:09:20,562
The one problem is the kiss got an "aw."

181
00:09:20,646 --> 00:09:24,274
It's supposed to get an "Ooh!"

182
00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:25,984
- Right?
- I'm nervous, okay?

183
00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:28,987
This is my first on-camera kiss
and it's with Cindy Crawfish.

184
00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:32,282
You know how many guys would kill
to be in your shoes?

185
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:33,409
What do I gotta do?

186
00:09:33,493 --> 00:09:36,662
Kiss you on the lips myself
to show you what a real kiss looks like?

187
00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:37,830
Ha-ha-ha!

188
00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:41,542
- No. I'll handle it.
- Well, I sure as hell hope so.

189
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:43,419
Mm.

190
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:46,463
- Hey, what's in this orange juice?
- Just a little extra punch.

191
00:09:46,547 --> 00:09:48,298
Oh. No, no, I don't...

192
00:09:48,382 --> 00:09:50,801
Trust me. It'll loosen you up.

193
00:09:55,598 --> 00:09:58,100
The one thing I never expected...

194
00:09:58,684 --> 00:10:01,103
was to find someone so special.

195
00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:03,730
- Hmm!
- Ooh!

196
00:10:03,814 --> 00:10:05,816
Love it! Cut and scene!

197
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:09,903
Hey, no way, the party's just beginning.
Let's do one more take!

198
00:10:09,987 --> 00:10:12,573
You up for more acting, Cindy?

199
00:10:12,657 --> 00:10:15,243
Well, if it's for the show.

200
00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:18,663
Hey, Sharona,
how 'bout some more of that OJ?

201
00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:24,252
- Whoa! Ow.
- Huh?

202
00:10:26,714 --> 00:10:27,952
Holy sheet.

203
00:10:28,036 --> 00:10:31,008
I've heard of being at the end
of my rope, but this...

204
00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:33,302
is very serious!

205
00:10:36,013 --> 00:10:37,723
Jameson!

206
00:10:37,807 --> 00:10:41,101
Don't cut the string that connects you
to the kite that is you!

207
00:10:41,185 --> 00:10:42,728
- What?
- I don't know!

208
00:10:42,812 --> 00:10:45,397
I was just trying to come up
with one of those dumb rehab sayings!

209
00:10:45,481 --> 00:10:47,608
McCaitlyn told me Dathan
was thinking of breaking up with me

210
00:10:47,692 --> 00:10:49,026
because I got fat junior year.

211
00:10:49,110 --> 00:10:50,944
So, I need to go show him
that I'm back to being hot.

212
00:10:51,028 --> 00:10:52,988
Then break up with him
for being a shallow buck foy!

213
00:10:53,072 --> 00:10:54,781
You don't need to do that.

214
00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:57,701
Oh, what does it matter?
We both know this place is bullshit!

215
00:10:57,785 --> 00:10:58,952
So, why do you care what I do?

216
00:10:59,036 --> 00:11:01,455
Because I'm the idiot
who helped you escape.

217
00:11:01,539 --> 00:11:02,707
So, if you OD tonight,

218
00:11:03,082 --> 00:11:05,751
then I'm the one who'll have to lie
to everyone about what happened.

219
00:11:05,835 --> 00:11:07,336
Well, I'm going.

220
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:09,380
You can come with me if you want.

221
00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:13,801
God damn it.

222
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,851
Oh!

223
00:11:22,184 --> 00:11:23,560
This is your boyfriend's house?

224
00:11:23,644 --> 00:11:25,187
- You can't go in there.
- I'll be fine.

225
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:27,606
I'll just find Dathan,
crush him with my thigh gap,

226
00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:29,233
and then we can go.

227
00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:30,985
Okay.

228
00:11:32,653 --> 00:11:35,197
Dathan? Where are you?

229
00:11:35,281 --> 00:11:38,284
It's me, Jameson H.!

230
00:12:01,849 --> 00:12:04,268
Hey, who's in there?

231
00:12:04,352 --> 00:12:06,770
- Um...
- Is someone having sex in there?

232
00:12:06,854 --> 00:12:09,523
I think there are people
having sex in there.

233
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:12,317
Hey, it was just the nerd.

234
00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:14,779
Definitely no one having sex in here.

235
00:12:16,989 --> 00:12:19,367
Um. Oh. Mm.

236
00:12:21,118 --> 00:12:23,954
You're BoJack from Spanish 1, right?

237
00:12:24,038 --> 00:12:27,416
Uh, yeah. I mean, sí!

238
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:33,631
Okay. "Sí" ya around.

239
00:12:34,256 --> 00:12:36,550
Ah, yeah, bye, Katie.

240
00:12:37,426 --> 00:12:38,468
Ugh.

241
00:12:38,552 --> 00:12:41,221
- Hey! You want a beer, Horseman?
- Oh, no, thank you.

242
00:12:41,305 --> 00:12:43,932
I mean, drinking's cool,
it's just that we're underage

243
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:47,394
- and, you know, the law.
- I'm lifting 178 right now.

244
00:12:49,313 --> 00:12:51,023
You know what? I'll have one beer.

245
00:12:56,028 --> 00:12:57,362
Okay, who am I? Who am I?

246
00:12:57,446 --> 00:13:00,032
"I'm Eric from chemistry class!"

247
00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:01,450
That's so Eric!

248
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:03,452
He is so in chemistry class!

249
00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:05,912
Speaking of losers, there's Josh!

250
00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:08,707
Look, he's wearing K-Mart shoes
because his family's poor!

251
00:13:12,717 --> 00:13:14,820
Katie's not laughing
because she always thinks

252
00:13:14,904 --> 00:13:16,471
she's better than everyone.

253
00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:19,176
Hey, remember last year
when one of Katie's boobs

254
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,677
grew bigger than the other?

255
00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:23,263
"Look at me, I'm Katie!"

256
00:13:27,727 --> 00:13:31,480
- Hey, you want some?
- Oh, yeah. Bartender, one more.

257
00:13:39,071 --> 00:13:42,032
- What's wrong?
- Dathan's sucking McCaitlyn's face!

258
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:43,617
Oh, my God. Jameson.

259
00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:45,952
Okay. It is not what it looks like,
I swear.

260
00:13:46,036 --> 00:13:47,330
You're still doing it!

261
00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:48,841
I tried to make it easy on you, Jameson.

262
00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:52,250
I told you things weren't going great.

263
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,669
Oh, Dathan, touch my boob.

264
00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:54,753
Do not touch her boob!

265
00:13:54,837 --> 00:13:56,588
Jameson,
it's not my fault you're a mess.

266
00:13:56,672 --> 00:13:58,173
I mean, how many times
have you been to rehab?

267
00:13:58,257 --> 00:13:59,675
Yeah, Jameson.

268
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,231
Look, it's okay.
You were gonna break up with him anyway.

269
00:14:14,315 --> 00:14:17,150
- And your friend sucks.
- No, they're right.

270
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:20,570
I'm a mess. And no one cares.
God damn it! I might as well drink.

271
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:22,864
No. You don't need a drink.

272
00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,825
You need to get back to bed
and get some sleep.

273
00:14:24,909 --> 00:14:28,036
You're right. I'm gonna go home
and sleep in my bed!

274
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,664
And when my dad shows up
to ask why I'm not in rehab,

275
00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:34,209
I'll be like, "Maybe you should go
to rehab for your addiction

276
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:36,420
to being a shitty dad, Dad!"

277
00:14:36,504 --> 00:14:39,673
Okay, Jameson,
you need to be responsible for yourself.

278
00:14:39,757 --> 00:14:41,351
Now, I think that you should come back

279
00:14:41,435 --> 00:14:43,301
to Pastiches with me like you promised.

280
00:14:43,385 --> 00:14:44,972
But if you wanna go to your dad's house,

281
00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,805
all you have to do is
steal Dathan's car,

282
00:14:46,889 --> 00:14:48,367
and I heard Michele with one "L"

283
00:14:48,451 --> 00:14:49,793
is about to jump naked into the pool,

284
00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:51,412
so everyone's gonna be distracted,

285
00:14:51,496 --> 00:14:53,687
which means this is the perfect time.

286
00:14:53,771 --> 00:14:55,814
But is that really what you want?

287
00:14:55,898 --> 00:14:57,816
- Bye, BoJack! Thanks!
- What the...

288
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,735
God damn it!

289
00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:01,153
Stupid...

290
00:15:01,612 --> 00:15:04,156
Oh.

291
00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:09,995
Hello?

292
00:15:10,079 --> 00:15:11,997
I need you to find the address
of some rich guy.

293
00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:13,707
- BoJack?
- All I know for sure

294
00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:15,519
is that he's the father
of a girl named Jameson,

295
00:15:15,603 --> 00:15:16,710
who's super annoying.

296
00:15:16,794 --> 00:15:20,046
I'm going to assume you have
a good reason to locate a girl

297
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:22,257
in the middle of the night,
but I can't help you.

298
00:15:22,341 --> 00:15:25,261
Fine! Be that way. Todd'll help me.

299
00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:29,454
- Can you patch me through to Todd?
- What? Call him yourself.

300
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:30,557
I don't know his number.

301
00:15:30,641 --> 00:15:31,840
I only remember your number

302
00:15:31,924 --> 00:15:34,519
because it was such a dumb
number with all those fours.

303
00:15:34,603 --> 00:15:36,104
Four, four, six, four...

304
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,231
My phone number
has a normal amount of fours.

305
00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:39,941
You are not gonna make me
self-conscious about...

306
00:15:40,025 --> 00:15:41,443
And it ends with a three!

307
00:15:41,527 --> 00:15:42,861
Talk about an anti-climax!

308
00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:45,238
What kind of phone number
ends with a three?

309
00:15:45,322 --> 00:15:46,991
Shut up about my phone number!

310
00:15:49,118 --> 00:15:50,369
Hold for Todd.

311
00:15:50,828 --> 00:15:53,955
Todd's phone. Your one-stop shop
for all your Todd-related needs.

312
00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:56,416
Todd, I need you to track down
an address for me.

313
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,376
You're the world's best hacker, right?

314
00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:01,004
Yeah, but not the kind of hacker
you're thinking of.

315
00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:02,631
- Funny story...
- Okay, I gotta go.

316
00:16:02,715 --> 00:16:04,007
- I'm at Coachella...
- Uh-huh.

317
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:05,759
Put my name on the wrong list,

318
00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:09,679
suddenly I've entered
into a hacky sack competition!

319
00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:11,097
- Right.
- Prior to these events,

320
00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:13,600
- I've never hacked a sack in my life.
- Uh-huh.

321
00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:15,287
But the only other contender

322
00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:17,580
is the Russian ringer
they flew in special,

323
00:16:17,664 --> 00:16:18,753
so I'm thinking,

324
00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:21,191
- "I've gotta win this for America!"
- Uh-huh.

325
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:24,087
Long story short,
the Russian had a heart attack,

326
00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:26,613
so I won by default!

327
00:16:26,697 --> 00:16:28,782
Uh, does that answer your question?

328
00:16:28,866 --> 00:16:31,159
I don't remember my question,
but I'm gonna guess no.

329
00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:33,411
Oh, hold on, I'm getting another call.

330
00:16:33,495 --> 00:16:36,414
Todd's phone!
Spare the Todd, spoil the child!

331
00:16:36,498 --> 00:16:38,583
Did you get the black market
porcupine milk?

332
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,001
Yeah, I'll bring it right over.

333
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:43,046
Although, I'm not looking forward
to getting on a crowded bus

334
00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:45,131
in Porcupine Town.

335
00:16:45,215 --> 00:16:47,676
Hold on. Getting another call.

336
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,262
Hey, superstar!
How are things goin' on set?

337
00:16:50,346 --> 00:16:53,098
Well, the movie itself
is coming together beautifully,

338
00:16:53,182 --> 00:16:56,101
but when I was on break
playing with my model helicopter,

339
00:16:56,185 --> 00:16:58,520
it crashed into the studio water tower.

340
00:16:58,604 --> 00:17:00,480
- Oh, no!
- It gets worse!

341
00:17:00,564 --> 00:17:02,365
It flooded the set of former VJ Downtown

342
00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:04,109
Julie Brown's new puppet show.

343
00:17:04,193 --> 00:17:05,610
- What?
- Completely ruining

344
00:17:05,694 --> 00:17:07,779
her vintage goose feather dress
she just bought,

345
00:17:07,863 --> 00:17:09,114
and disrupting the big finale

346
00:17:09,198 --> 00:17:12,117
where her wooden puppet plays
Beethoven's fifth on the bongos!

347
00:17:12,201 --> 00:17:15,161
Wait. You're telling me
your dumb drone downed a tower

348
00:17:15,245 --> 00:17:18,373
and drowned Downtown Julie Brown's
dummy drumming dum-dum-dum-dum,

349
00:17:18,457 --> 00:17:21,376
dousing her newly found,
goose-down, hand-me-down gown?

350
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:24,212
- Yes, that is exactly right!
- I'll be right down.

351
00:17:24,296 --> 00:17:25,475
Todd, I gotta go.

352
00:17:25,559 --> 00:17:26,648
Hmm.

353
00:17:29,254 --> 00:17:31,956
So, sounds like rehab's goin' well, huh?

354
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,108
No!

355
00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:36,266
Hey, give me my phone back.

356
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:40,312
I'm expecting some timely feedback
on an important dick pic.

357
00:17:40,396 --> 00:17:41,813
Hey, do you know where Jameson lives?

358
00:17:41,897 --> 00:17:44,107
Jameson H.? Or Jameson Q.?

359
00:17:44,191 --> 00:17:46,359
- Ugh, I don't know.
- Or Jameson M.?

360
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:47,987
Where is the nearest Jameson?

361
00:17:51,699 --> 00:17:53,534
Whoa.

362
00:17:53,993 --> 00:17:56,202
Is that the car
from Ferris Bueller's Day Off?

363
00:17:56,286 --> 00:18:00,165
Yeah, my dad loves movie memorabilia.
And this car is his baby.

364
00:18:00,249 --> 00:18:03,335
At least... No, it was his baby
before the new baby came.

365
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:06,421
Now the new baby's the baby,
which means the car is the new me,

366
00:18:06,505 --> 00:18:08,840
so where does that leave me? Nowhere.

367
00:18:08,924 --> 00:18:10,342
What are you talking about?

368
00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:14,220
He threw out all of my stuff
and turned my room into the baby's room.

369
00:18:14,304 --> 00:18:15,741
He got rid of my softball trophies,

370
00:18:15,825 --> 00:18:18,391
but he loves his stupid bat, naturally.

371
00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:21,687
- And his dumb stupid car!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

372
00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:23,188
Parents are terrible.

373
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,482
But destroying things
isn't gonna change them.

374
00:18:25,566 --> 00:18:27,234
All you can change is you.

375
00:18:27,776 --> 00:18:28,860
Ugh. Fine.

376
00:18:28,944 --> 00:18:32,656
If I'm gonna get lectured anyway,
I may as well go back to rehab.

377
00:18:38,495 --> 00:18:39,788
Dad, you there?

378
00:18:39,872 --> 00:18:42,332
Mom said since you didn't come home
I should bring you your dinner.

379
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:46,211
And she said to tell you she hopes
you like cold, burnt pot roast

380
00:18:46,295 --> 00:18:47,379
that was spit on.

381
00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:49,339
Huh? Dad?

382
00:18:49,423 --> 00:18:52,259
There it is, coax it out of my sheath.

383
00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:55,637
BoJack! What the devil!

384
00:18:55,721 --> 00:18:58,014
I'll get right on that memo,
Mr. Horseman.

385
00:18:58,098 --> 00:19:00,183
Okay, let me... Oops, oh.

386
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:02,071
Okay, let me just...
Oh, you look so cute.

387
00:19:02,155 --> 00:19:03,728
Bye-bye. All right.

388
00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:05,355
- What were you doing, Dad?
- Oh.

389
00:19:05,439 --> 00:19:07,774
It's fun to have you
at the office, BoJack.

390
00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:10,318
- You're really turning into a man.
- I am?

391
00:19:10,402 --> 00:19:13,572
I think you're old enough now
to have a Jack and Coke.

392
00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,742
Mm, nice and sweet.

393
00:19:17,367 --> 00:19:21,330
Here's to our first drink
as father and son.

394
00:19:33,092 --> 00:19:34,176
Huh?

395
00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:38,596
Did I fall asleep? I feel sick.

396
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,850
You went a little wild.
You made a mess on my carpet, BoJack.

397
00:19:41,934 --> 00:19:43,120
I think your mother would be

398
00:19:43,204 --> 00:19:45,576
- very disappointed in you.
- I'm sorry.

399
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,780
Maybe it's best if we both just forgot

400
00:19:48,864 --> 00:19:51,109
about everything that happened tonight.

401
00:19:51,193 --> 00:19:54,029
- Okay, buddy?
- Okay.

402
00:19:58,158 --> 00:20:01,411
You know what? Screw your dad.

403
00:20:01,495 --> 00:20:02,620
Whoa!

404
00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:05,498
Hey! That's the titular club
from The First Wives Club.

405
00:20:05,582 --> 00:20:07,000
You're just a kid.

406
00:20:07,084 --> 00:20:10,378
Why do you have to be responsible
for all the ways he screwed you up?

407
00:20:10,462 --> 00:20:11,880
Yeah!

408
00:20:13,173 --> 00:20:17,802
It's not my fault I was born!
He's the one who got my mom pregnant!

409
00:20:17,886 --> 00:20:20,555
Yeah, and I bet your mom sucked, too!

410
00:20:20,639 --> 00:20:23,141
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

411
00:20:23,225 --> 00:20:26,186
Chick ch'ka... Oh, no.

412
00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:28,605
Oh, my...

413
00:20:32,276 --> 00:20:33,443
- Wha...
- Oh, boy.

414
00:20:36,723 --> 00:20:38,907
What the hell are you doing?

415
00:20:38,991 --> 00:20:40,272
That's the giant window

416
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:41,879
- from The Graduate!
- Oh.

417
00:20:41,963 --> 00:20:47,123
Daddy, I didn't wanna leave rehab,
but this scary old horse made me!

418
00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:48,458
Hi, cutie! Mwah!

419
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:50,877
Okay, I'm ready to go back to rehab now.
I'll go wait in the car!

420
00:20:50,961 --> 00:20:52,378
Jameson...

421
00:20:52,462 --> 00:20:54,506
- Listen...
- Are you drunk or high?

422
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:56,841
- What?
- Are you drunk or high right now?

423
00:20:56,925 --> 00:20:58,843
No.

424
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:00,428
I'm sorry she roped you into this.

425
00:21:00,512 --> 00:21:02,972
You're not the first guy to help her
break out of that rehab.

426
00:21:03,056 --> 00:21:04,307
They always end up at my house.

427
00:21:04,391 --> 00:21:06,351
And then they want me to keep quiet
to the press,

428
00:21:06,435 --> 00:21:09,020
so they give me a souvenir
from one of their movies.

429
00:21:09,104 --> 00:21:12,357
I could send you a swag bag
from Felicity Huffman's Booty Academy,

430
00:21:12,441 --> 00:21:14,651
but you should probably wash the thong
before wearing it.

431
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:19,239
I don't know what to do with Jameson.
I've tried everything.

432
00:21:19,323 --> 00:21:22,367
I thought she would change
after she had her baby, but...

433
00:21:24,661 --> 00:21:25,954
Change is hard.

434
00:21:26,789 --> 00:21:27,789
Takes a long time.

435
00:21:29,416 --> 00:21:31,418
Let me guess,
she wanted to see her boyfriend?

436
00:21:32,753 --> 00:21:33,879
Actually...

437
00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:37,633
she told me she just wanted
to come here to see her baby.

438
00:21:38,592 --> 00:21:41,053
Wouldn't that be nice?

439
00:21:55,984 --> 00:21:57,861
Bye, Daddy! Love you!

440
00:21:58,278 --> 00:22:01,364
- Ugh. Sorry my dad's so embarrassing.
- Jesus Christ.

441
00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:03,074
You have no idea how lucky you are.

442
00:22:03,158 --> 00:22:05,118
I wish I had someone when I was your age

443
00:22:05,202 --> 00:22:07,579
who cared about me enough
to put me in rehab.

444
00:22:07,913 --> 00:22:10,123
Yeah, maybe.

445
00:22:10,207 --> 00:22:13,168
Well, anyway, thanks for keeping me
out of trouble tonight.

446
00:22:15,296 --> 00:22:16,296
Really?

447
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:19,174
It was a worth a try.
Ready to sneak back in?

448
00:22:19,258 --> 00:22:21,759
I'm getting too old to sneak in
and out of places.

449
00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:22,843
All right.

450
00:22:32,854 --> 00:22:33,855
- Checking in?
- No.

451
00:22:33,939 --> 00:22:35,982
I just snuck out and I'm coming back,

452
00:22:36,066 --> 00:22:39,319
so, you know, put me down
for kitchen clean-up duty

453
00:22:39,403 --> 00:22:41,654
or whatever the punishment is
for sneaking out.

454
00:22:41,738 --> 00:22:44,032
No, I don't think
you've been here before.

455
00:22:44,116 --> 00:22:46,034
Everyone who's been here before
is humble enough

456
00:22:46,118 --> 00:22:48,203
to take a picture with me.

457
00:22:49,246 --> 00:22:51,206
Yeah. Okay.

458
00:22:51,290 --> 00:22:54,126
Sign me up for six weeks. Starting now.

459
00:22:54,501 --> 00:22:57,671
- And a picture?
- Sure.

460
00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:00,089
Cheese!

461
00:23:49,448 --> 00:23:56,645
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com