1 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:09,043 Okay, guys, that is my cat eye tutorial. 2 00:00:09,044 --> 00:00:11,844 It probably works better if you're not a dog, 3 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,180 but anyways, like and subscribe. 4 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,558 Oh, and RIP Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker. 5 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,644 Love you, sassy boys! 6 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,522 I just don't feel like doing a makeup tutorial today. 7 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,275 Dad! I'm shooting a video! 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,318 Demi! 9 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,071 I really thought me and Buzzy were built to last, 10 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:33,449 like Brad and Angelina, or Gwyneth and Coldplay Man, 11 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,869 or America and its current love affair with Rebel Wilson. 12 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,318 I'm sorry, 13 00:00:38,319 --> 00:00:40,331 I shouldn't be talking about my personal life. 14 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,875 I just feel so alone. 15 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,378 Aw! Thank you. 16 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,839 Hey, Pickle Pack! Gettin' ready for another job interview. 17 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,676 I think I'm just gonna lie about having experience. Right? 18 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:56,847 I got the job! I'm a systems analyst? 19 00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:00,434 I got fired my first day as a systems analyst, 20 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:04,271 but then I got a job as an air traffic controller! 21 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,817 I got fired my first day as an air traffic controller. 22 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,569 But then I got a job as a waitress! 23 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,239 So, I've been seeing someone. 24 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:17,576 He's a yellow lab, and he's so handsome and friendly. 25 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,913 Mister asked me to move in with him! 26 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,875 - Hi, Mister! - Oh, are you taking a video? 27 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,254 Thank you, queefburglar69, for that lovely cartoon heart! 28 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:32,383 Get a load of this cool house, Pickle Pack! Lights, off. Lights, on! 29 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,844 Thank you, Robot House! 30 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,804 Check this out. The Thunder Room. 31 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,932 A place to wait out thunderstorms and Fourth of July celebrations! 32 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,308 Thunder door, close! 33 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,311 Closing. Thunder Room secure. 34 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:45,438 Cute! 35 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,429 He got down on one knee and everything! 36 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:51,110 He was so nervous before he asked! 37 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,445 Of course I said yes! 38 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,738 I think Mister is still in shock! 39 00:01:55,739 --> 00:01:58,742 Engaged! That's what we are now! 40 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,786 Ring filter! 41 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,454 So, I guess I liked the play. 42 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,082 I was just surprised at how different it was from the movie. 43 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,834 I kept waiting for the baseball part. 44 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:11,297 And so many dysfunctional relationships! All the cheating and lying! 45 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,717 I'm sure glad we're not like that, right, Mister? 46 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,012 Um, Pickles, would you mind turning off the livestream? 47 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,848 There's something I need to discuss with you. Privately. 48 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:24,310 Ooh, I hope it's something good! 49 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:32,193 The wedding is off! 50 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,588 Hi, I'm here to see BoJack. 51 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,945 You're... too late. 52 00:03:36,946 --> 00:03:39,593 - What? - He's... gone... 53 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,595 - No! - ... to a party for the night. 54 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,514 Here's the address. Sorry for all the wincing. 55 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:46,600 I put too many jalape? os on my... sandwich. 56 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,310 A party? With alcohol? 57 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,896 No, a lame party, without alcohol. 58 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,168 Uh... 59 00:03:52,169 --> 00:03:55,192 Don't worry. We sent him with a trained sober companion. 60 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,903 He'll keep him out of trouble. 61 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,865 This is Eduardo. He's here to keep me out of trouble. 62 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,952 Say, aren't you one of those fainting goats? 63 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,912 Only if I panic. 64 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,268 So, what makes you panic? 65 00:04:08,269 --> 00:04:11,542 Nothing. The whole point is he doesn't panic. Sober companion. 66 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,085 You know what makes me panic? 67 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,213 Most of the time I'm an ocean-levels-rising guy, 68 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,673 but sometimes I like to dwell 69 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,676 on the fact that there will always be invisible walls 70 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,846 between myself and those who claim to know me. 71 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,921 That sure is nerve-racking, 72 00:04:26,922 --> 00:04:28,517 but the only thing that makes me panic 73 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,874 is the thought that I might someday drink again. 74 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:34,669 A toast to that never happening! 75 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:36,776 Very helpful. Thank you, Eduardo. 76 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,286 Oh, I'm just Greg, 77 00:04:39,287 --> 00:04:41,572 a guy Mr. Peanutbutter met at a gas station once. 78 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,116 I honestly don't even know why I got invited to this party. 79 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,619 You know, I got a few TV ideas myself. 80 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,194 Franco, nobody wants to hear 81 00:04:50,195 --> 00:04:52,458 your time-travelling orthodontist pitch! 82 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,337 Demi, you are lighting a long fuse on a short stick of dynamite. 83 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,257 Oh, whoop. And a big one at that. 84 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,721 Diane! Didn't think I'd see you here! 85 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,515 Could you go tell BoJack to come out so I can talk to him? 86 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,935 What? I don't have time for your classic Diane wackiness. 87 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,980 We gotta get these to the balloon room! 88 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,027 - Hey. - Hey, look who's back in town! 89 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,071 Wow! Baby! Cute! 90 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,010 She's crawling all over the place. 91 00:05:24,011 --> 00:05:27,117 I wasn't gonna bring her out, but another nanny quit on me. 92 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,577 Carlotta quit, huh? 93 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,579 I assume she resigned in disgrace 94 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,874 for not making good airplane noises when she feeds Ruthie? 95 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,315 No, she said she felt she was being watched all day. 96 00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:41,361 Impossible! I'm there around the clock, observing her every move. 97 00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:44,802 - If she was being watched, I'd know! - Uh-huh. 98 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,140 Uh, where do these balloons go? 99 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,935 Hello, Pickles' best friend Ilana. 100 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,397 Pickles' other friend Ilana. Didn't think I'd see you here. 101 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,691 And then of course, there's always the looming fear my spleen 102 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,276 could up and re-twist itself. 103 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,487 How are we back in a conversation? 104 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,489 It's like I'm trying to canoe out to sea 105 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,409 but the current keeps washing me back to the same shallow backwater. 106 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,994 - Hey, there you are. - Thank God, I'm so glad you're here. 107 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,704 - Never leave my side. - I have to tell you... 108 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:16,917 - Okay, everybody get to your places! - What's happening? 109 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:20,150 Mr. Peanutbutter's and Pickles' surprise wedding! 110 00:06:20,151 --> 00:06:21,547 Surprise wedding? 111 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,133 The wedding planning was stressing Mr. Peanutbutter out, 112 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,594 and Pickles loves big romantic surprises. 113 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:30,139 And I'm not doing much except for sitting at home 114 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,474 watching Princess Carolyn's terrible nannies, 115 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,915 so naturally I thought, "Ooh! Surprise wedding!" 116 00:06:35,916 --> 00:06:38,272 - Where are they now? - I got them two tickets 117 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,086 to Angels in the Outfield. 118 00:06:40,087 --> 00:06:43,569 - The movie? - The play. It's like six hours long. 119 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,592 Do you mean Angels in America? 120 00:06:45,593 --> 00:06:49,158 Whatever it is, after that feel-good comedy, 121 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,452 they'll be in a great mood for a wedding! 122 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,975 Wow. Okay... 123 00:06:53,976 --> 00:06:56,832 Look, I cannot be here. Just... I'm moving. 124 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,917 Great, your apartment's a dump. Where are you moving to? 125 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,044 Uh, not Echo Park. I'll never see you. 126 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,922 - Chicago. - Chicago? "Chicago" Chicago? 127 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,716 Ooh, they just pulled into the driveway! 128 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,760 - Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! - Why Chicago? 129 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,743 Everybody hide and stay quiet. 130 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,465 Remember, as soon as the lights go on, 131 00:07:16,466 --> 00:07:18,812 just jump up and yell, "Surprise!" 132 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,648 Lights, off! 133 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,778 Um, Pickles? Would you mind turning off the livestream? 134 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,656 There's something I need to discuss with you. Privately. 135 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,618 Ooh, I hope it's something good! 136 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,995 It's not. 137 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,121 - Lights... - Wait! 138 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,873 Before Robot House assaults us 139 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,001 with the harsh unforgiving glare of our energy-efficient bulbs, 140 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,398 I need to tell you this. 141 00:07:42,399 --> 00:07:44,004 But it's so dark in here. 142 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,964 What I'm about to confess is so shameful, 143 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,383 I can only admit it in the cover of shadow. 144 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,448 Don't be silly. Lights, on! 145 00:07:50,449 --> 00:07:52,137 - I cheated on you! - Surp...! 146 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,139 Did someone just say something? 147 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,849 Don't change the subject! 148 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,936 - You cheated on me? - I am so sorry. 149 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,648 - How could you do this? - It was the worst mistake of my life! 150 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,067 And I once played Twister with Bryan Singer 151 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,778 at Kevin Spacey's party for Andy Dick's early parole. 152 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,239 I've been in the Thunder Room every night 153 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,270 for months trying to swallow my shame. 154 00:08:12,271 --> 00:08:13,286 But I can't. 155 00:08:13,287 --> 00:08:15,702 And I've apparently been so racked with guilt I left the door open. 156 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,247 - Thunder door, close. - Closing. 157 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,289 Thunder Room secure. 158 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,375 Help! Please! 159 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:24,753 Just because you feel guilty, that doesn't make it okay. 160 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,381 Are you the time I went to see Lady Gaga in concert 161 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,007 and she didn't sing "Paparazzi"? 162 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,386 Because I am hurt, and I am confused, and I am angry, 163 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,385 and nobody told me there was going to be an encore, 164 00:08:34,386 --> 00:08:35,681 so I just went home and... 165 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,432 Why am I even talking to you? 166 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,687 I need my best friend. I'm calling Ilana! 167 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,691 But, honestly, can Ilana even relate to me anymore? 168 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,318 Since she got that new Sunday-to-Thursday job 169 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:51,613 she's turned into a real See-You-Next-Friday. 170 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,073 I never thought I'd say this, 171 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:56,973 but sometimes I feel like I prefer my other friend Ilana. 172 00:08:56,974 --> 00:08:59,110 Sometimes it's just easier to talk to a person 173 00:08:59,111 --> 00:09:00,581 who has nothing else going on. 174 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,768 - What? - Please don't tell 175 00:09:01,769 --> 00:09:02,839 the Ilanas about this. 176 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,128 I'm gonna tell everybody about this. I'm a Gemini. 177 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:10,215 No! Think of my family! They need me to be strong right now. 178 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,779 Poor Captain Peanutbutter. 179 00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:13,176 He recently confided to me 180 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,834 he feels trapped in a loveless marriage 181 00:09:14,835 --> 00:09:16,013 with Mrs. Captain Peanutbutter. 182 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,349 Well, can you blame her? 183 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,392 Excuse me? 184 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,686 Every time I get trapped in a conversation with Captain, 185 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,272 I think, "If I was married to this guy, 186 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,734 I would gnaw my own hand off just to get the ring off my body." 187 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,694 At least no one in my family has anger issues. 188 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:34,489 My father has come so far with his anger management classes! 189 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:38,744 I'm sorry, but your father is a hot head with a little pug complex. 190 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,366 Everyone makes excuses 191 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:41,413 for his outbursts. 192 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,040 "I don't know what's gotten into Franco. 193 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,708 He's not usually like that." 194 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,295 - Trust me. He's like that. - How dare you. 195 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,882 And the way your mother provokes him! I think they get off on it, 196 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,469 and they're making us unwilling participants in their kinky foreplay. 197 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,700 Ew! Those are my parents! 198 00:09:57,701 --> 00:10:00,265 And don't even get me started on Greg. 199 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,185 That guy that I met once at that gas station! 200 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,563 - Why are you bringing him up? - I don't know, but he sucks, too! 201 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,066 - Oh. - There, I got it off my chest. 202 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,193 I know who I need right now. 203 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,153 No, Pickles. Please don't TweedFeed this. 204 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,322 I understand your Pickle Pack is part of how you process pain. 205 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:19,409 Wrong, Mister Mister. The Pack isn't part of anything. 206 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,952 They are everything. 207 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,830 When I stabbed myself in the eye with a boba straw, 208 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,918 they all sent me photos of themselves wearing eyepatches. 209 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,087 And when my Grandma Piccolino died, 210 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:35,801 stickyvicki was the first person to say "LMAO. Sorry for your loss." 211 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:39,429 My subscribers are with me through thick and thin. 212 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:44,518 And they have never strayed. Unsubscribe! 213 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,651 I never thought this would have 214 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,528 so much practical application in my life, 215 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,197 but you could tie some sheets together and make a rope. 216 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,179 - Pickles, wait! - No! You stay! 217 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,077 Bedroom lights, on! 218 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,578 - Down! - Go, go, go. 219 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,594 The wedding is off! 220 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,307 He cheated on me! 221 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:31,023 - Freezer, ice. - Dispensing. 222 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,818 Water filter, filtrate. 223 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,990 Oh, I have to talk to her! 224 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,789 - Go, go, go, go, go! - Let's hit the bricks and quick. 225 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,210 - Um, Princess Carolyn... - Oh, fish! 226 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,451 I mean, I've been hurt by guys before. 227 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:58,258 But this, I just feel so stupid. 228 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:02,179 My God, thank you, not even. 229 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,432 Hi. I know you are quite upset, but... 230 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,518 Are you not listening? I told you to leave me alone. 231 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,771 - Right, but... - Oh! You want a makeup tutorial? 232 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,732 Here's a makeup tutorial: We are never making up! 233 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,776 - Wha... - Door, slam! 234 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:20,698 Okay. Here's how to look like a crying, pugly freak! 235 00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:23,337 So, you're gonna want a mascara 236 00:12:23,338 --> 00:12:24,576 that really runs... 237 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,119 - So, why Chicago? - What? 238 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,371 What's the draw? Is it the rampant gun violence? 239 00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,834 Or do you just like seeing improv actors who aren't good enough for LA? 240 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,211 - Or is there a guy? - Uh... 241 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,505 What's his name, your suitor? Your gentleman caller? 242 00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,924 - Guy. - Fine. What's your guy's name? 243 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,844 No. Guy is the name of the guy I'm not moving to Chicago for. 244 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,639 What's the name of the guy you are moving to Chicago for? 245 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,766 I think we're done here. 246 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,897 - Ruthie. - This is all your fault. 247 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,857 If you hadn't creeped out every nanny I hire... 248 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,712 I wouldn't have to monitor them so closely 249 00:12:58,713 --> 00:13:00,612 if you hadn't hired a bunch of quacks! 250 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,280 Ooh! Duck! 251 00:13:04,262 --> 00:13:07,723 What's with all this mid-century furniture so close to the ground? 252 00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:11,623 - No one had to hide in the '50s? - Close to the ground, that's it! 253 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,042 We've gotta think like a baby! 254 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,211 I'm a baby. I don't have a job. 255 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,839 I love being wrapped up in soft, red hoodies. 256 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,925 And when I'm feeling low, I like to get high. 257 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,761 Ruthie's a climber! 258 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,641 Just as I suspected. 259 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:33,103 Fresh drool. It's Ruthie. 260 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,146 Todd! 261 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:42,404 So, I obviously can't marry him, right? 262 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,656 What do you guys think I should do? 263 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,658 Hey. Give me that. 264 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,661 "You should make Mr. Peanutbutter take you to the park, 265 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,894 far away from this mouse." What mouse? 266 00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:55,625 Great idea! 267 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,878 Door, open! 268 00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,005 Hey, Mister! Take me to the park! 269 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,340 - Can do! - I'll be right down! 270 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,801 Okay, Pickle Pack, let's pick out an outfit. 271 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,929 What says, "I am going to survive this because I am strong, 272 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,265 - but you should still feel very bad"? - Uh... 273 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:14,562 Go, baby! Go to mama! Oh. 274 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,672 But what if we go for a walk 275 00:14:16,673 --> 00:14:20,525 and he says all the right things and I forgive him? 276 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,278 I can't make it so easy for him, can I? 277 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,613 Oh, my God. 278 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,450 That is an even better idea, MarciFartz. 279 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,245 Hey, Mister! Cancel the park and come here. 280 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,830 What? Stay out of my shit, MarciFartz! 281 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,920 - On my way, darling! - Kitty up. 282 00:14:37,387 --> 00:14:40,378 Bring me my favorite drink. Exactly the way I like it. 283 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,963 Then we'll talk. 284 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,506 Of course, right away! 285 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,678 Of course he'll make my drink perfect. 286 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,888 Because he's perfect! 287 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,723 I mean, look at him! 288 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,726 And... and... Look at him! 289 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,750 Um... Oh! 290 00:14:57,751 --> 00:15:01,483 And him, as portrayed in this boardwalk caricature drawing! 291 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,526 I didn't know he liked tennis and skateboarding. 292 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,946 What else has he been hiding from me? 293 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,908 I mean, is it me? Was I not good enough? 294 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,663 Yeah, I'm not the problem! 295 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:18,917 In fact, why am I even in his house? 296 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,753 I need to pack! 297 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:27,258 I'm going to a fancy-ass hotel. 298 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,635 And... 299 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,084 I'm gonna try to get my room comped 300 00:15:31,085 --> 00:15:33,848 in exchange for social media promotion! 301 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,350 And then they'll say no. 302 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,103 And then I'll pay for the room and drag them online. 303 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,065 Hate to leave you hanging. 304 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,025 Yeah. 305 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:47,153 Wait a minute! Why should I leave? 306 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,031 He's the one who cheated! 307 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,037 He can live in the dog park for all I care! 308 00:16:00,396 --> 00:16:02,878 But then, why do I want him to stay? 309 00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,256 I'm so confused. 310 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,884 Good call, t_chavez! 311 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,846 You're welcome. Oh, no! 312 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,056 Phew! 313 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,985 Boba Maker. Uh... boba make? 314 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,823 Would you like whipped cream? 315 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:36,120 Uh... 316 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,955 Hey, so, uh, sobriety. How is it? 317 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,749 Impossible. 318 00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,798 Uh... 319 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,997 There's no clear path to the exit. 320 00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:51,801 You can wait it out, I'm doing the window. 321 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,179 It's not because of me that you're moving to Chicago? 322 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,181 No. I need to go. 323 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,184 Pickles? Precious? Possible point of complexity... 324 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,977 Son of a bitch. 325 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,189 I know your favorite drink is boba, 326 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,066 but just the other day, you said, 327 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,443 "Whipped cream is the best thing in the world" 328 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,987 immediately followed by, and this is a direct quote, 329 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,948 "So, keep it as far away from me as possible!" 330 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,868 I just wanted to circle back. 331 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,103 Yeah. 332 00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:23,208 Don't get me wrong, 333 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,117 I love the challenge of trying to square 334 00:17:25,118 --> 00:17:26,628 two irreconcilable positions. 335 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,006 Where's the baby? There's the baby! 336 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,800 Where's the baby? Shit! Where's the baby? 337 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,097 Bang-crash, you say! I hear the note. 338 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,960 I'll be right back with your drink prepared 339 00:17:38,961 --> 00:17:41,561 exactly the way you want it! 340 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:47,940 Here. 341 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,444 You know how in AA they give you chips? 342 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,403 - But no salsa? - Using that. 343 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,531 But they're a big deal, the chips. 344 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,063 Sure, they brainwash you 345 00:17:56,064 --> 00:17:57,784 into thinking they're more important than they are, 346 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,995 but when I got my two-month chip... 347 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,500 I thought, "I wish Diane could see this." 348 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,252 I see it. It's amazing. 349 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,797 It would not be improved by salsa. 350 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,673 Door, open! 351 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,347 No! No! 352 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,060 Hmm. 353 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:29,065 Sunshine, I have your boba. 354 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,900 No whipped cream, I hope. 355 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,152 Of course not. 356 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,987 You always know how I like it. 357 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,197 Is there any chance we could talk IRL? 358 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,074 Intimately, rigorously, lengthily? 359 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:44,247 You know, what's funny is now I actually want the whipped cream. 360 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,126 Well, good news, because, uh... 361 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,753 - Hmm... - I don't want to be mad at you. 362 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,754 That's great! 363 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,965 - No, it's not... - I know I caused you pain, 364 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,344 but we can get through this. I still wanna marry you. 365 00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,013 Do you still want to marry me? 366 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,309 Promise me you'll never lie to me again? 367 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,831 I promise. 368 00:19:05,832 --> 00:19:09,492 Then I guess we could put it behind us 369 00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:11,316 if it just happened the one time. 370 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,569 It did! One time! One unit of cheating. 371 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,779 Comprised of two separate instances. 372 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,449 - What? - But the spirit of it was once. 373 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:22,827 Well, at least you told me right away. 374 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,747 - It happened a few months ago. - What? 375 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:29,271 - But I'm being honest with you now! - Okay. 376 00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:31,356 At least it wasn't with someone I know. 377 00:19:31,357 --> 00:19:32,795 It was Diane. 378 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:36,549 Diane, the nice lady from the chew toy store? 379 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,176 Diane, my ex-wife? 380 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,532 That's so much worse! 381 00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:43,473 You are a bad dog! 382 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:47,977 No. No. No! 383 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,120 Come on, Eduardo. Hold it together. You're not just a fainting goat. 384 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:11,084 You're a trained sober companion. Just do what the sign says. 385 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,047 No! 386 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,181 - Vacuum, stop. - Stopping. 387 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:31,104 Coin sorter, sort. 388 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:34,274 Oh, Coin Sorter, I'd love to toss my problems in a tray 389 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,777 and say, "Here, sort these out." I know it doesn't work that way, 390 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,209 but if only this smart house could give some advice 391 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:42,240 to this stupid dog. 392 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,909 - Go to her. - Coin Sorter? 393 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,662 Go to Pickles. Go now. 394 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,361 I don't know, Coin Sorter. 395 00:20:49,362 --> 00:20:51,499 I've already screwed everything up so bad. 396 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,918 I should sit here and wait for her to come to me. 397 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,927 - No. You go to her. Leave this room. - Okay. 398 00:20:57,928 --> 00:21:00,133 But don't talk so much! 399 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,992 - What? - It is I, the robot, uh, thermostat. 400 00:21:04,993 --> 00:21:07,098 Thermostat, I should have known. 401 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,267 I can always count on you to cool things down 402 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,977 when they get too heated. You were saying? 403 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,271 Sometimes you try to fix problems 404 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:17,066 or make them go away, which comes off as dismissive. 405 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,591 If you want to solve this, listen. Really hear her. 406 00:21:20,592 --> 00:21:22,405 Beep-boop. Seventy-two degrees. 407 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,824 Okay. 408 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,583 Is this mess why you're moving to Chicago? 409 00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:35,373 I told you, I'm moving for me. 410 00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:36,377 I get it. 411 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,880 - Are you gonna be okay? - Yeah. 412 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:42,384 - I mean... I don't know. - You seem okay. 413 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,345 But the reason I had to tell you I was leaving, 414 00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:48,139 the reason I came to my ex-husband's house, 415 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,892 was because I need to know that you're gonna be okay. 416 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,435 I need to hear you say it. 417 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:56,022 I can't leave if I don't know you're going to be okay, BoJack. 418 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,732 - I'll be okay. - Promise? 419 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,817 Because if something happens, and I'm in Chicago... 420 00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:03,238 That's not a friendship, that's a hostage situation. 421 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,574 Go to Chicago. I'll be fine. 422 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,367 Thank you. 423 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,580 - Hey! - Ruthie? 424 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,499 Ruthie! 425 00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,841 There you are! 426 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:28,304 Let's get you away from these delightful choking hazards! 427 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,848 You know, Todd, you have a knack for this. 428 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,517 Would you wanna be her nanny? 429 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:35,103 I do know her routine and all of her favorite foods 430 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,855 and how to do funny voices for bedtime stories, 431 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:41,567 unlike Carlotta who does voices like Cameron Diaz 432 00:22:41,568 --> 00:22:44,363 "did a voice" for the Shrek movies. 433 00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:47,657 So, that's a yes then? 434 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,124 I don't want to be mad at you. 435 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,837 It sucks that I have to be mad at you. 436 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:03,506 This should be the happiest time of my life, 437 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:08,553 but now because you did something stupid, I have to feel bad. 438 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,055 That's not fair. 439 00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:15,831 And I still love you and... I still wanna marry you. 440 00:23:15,832 --> 00:23:18,521 But you can't do things that hurt me like that. 441 00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,148 It's not okay. 442 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,568 And if we just go back to the way things were before 443 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:27,321 and pretend nothing happened, I'm gonna feel stupid. 444 00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:29,241 We can't just go back. 445 00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,451 How can we make this right? 446 00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:34,495 Don't just stand there! I'm talking to you. 447 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:39,041 I'm sorry. I want us to stay together. I want you to trust me. 448 00:23:39,042 --> 00:23:42,044 I wanna make us even somehow. 449 00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:44,547 Even? The only logical way to be even 450 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:47,091 would be if I got to sleep with somebody else. 451 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,968 Okay. If that's what needs to happen. 452 00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,429 - Really? - Yeah, we just have to think who... 453 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,181 Buzzy. My high school boyfriend, Buzzy. 454 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,099 Very quick with that name, but okay. Fine. 455 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,809 No, you don't even know him. 456 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,561 Knowing is what hurts the most. 457 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:02,857 What if I sleep with Buzzy and Tyler from Soul Cycle? 458 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:06,611 - Two people? - Well, maybe we can keep brainstorming. 459 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:07,820 If we put our heads together, 460 00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:11,032 I know we'll find the perfect guy for you to cheat on me with 461 00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:12,325 that makes it totally even, 462 00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,286 so things can go back to normal and we can get married. 463 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,956 Thank you. 464 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,334 - Hey, guys. - Diane? 465 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,241 I'm just here to randomly apologize 466 00:24:23,242 --> 00:24:24,921 for that time we cheated on Pickles twice. 467 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:25,969 It was a big mistake 468 00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:28,174 and it was my fault and it will never happen again. 469 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,842 Also, I think I left my wallet here 470 00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,053 when I came to your party a year and a half ago. 471 00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:34,680 If you find it, probably under the bed in the master suite, 472 00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:37,642 could you mail it to me? I live in Chicago now. Thanks. 473 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:40,269 This is Eduardo. Don't mind him. He's just keeping me sober. 474 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,188 Found the baby, had a blast, gotta go. 475 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,566 - And here's your boba. - Thank you. 476 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,735 Odd. 477 00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:51,114 - Oh, my parents are calling. - Fun! Put 'em on speaker!