1 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,507 In my line of work, I meet a lot of big names. 2 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:15,184 I'm talking the sexiest guys of the '90s. Nick Nolte. Mickey Rourke. 3 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,885 Literally, here we are in the '90s, 4 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,185 and these are the guys we think are sexy, right? 5 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,269 And my daughter couldn't care less. 6 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,324 But when I told her I was meeting BoJack Horseman... 7 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,189 Do me a favor. Make her day. 8 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,776 Me? I didn't ask for this gig. 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,623 Angela Diaz, head of the network, calls me, 10 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,449 working schmuck, Danny Bananas, 11 00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:36,960 and says, "Danny, Herb Kazzaz is leavin', 12 00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:39,084 and I want you to run 'Horsin' Around.'" 13 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,624 So, here's me, thinking, "What an opportunity 14 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,498 to write for the most finely-calibrated ensemble cast on television!" 15 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,626 It's like a bowling alley with you people. 16 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,343 Setting up pins and knocking them down. I should be so lucky. 17 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,092 - Uh. - I know it's no secret 18 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,546 that you and Herb had some friction, 19 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,425 and he left the show under not-great circumstances. 20 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,387 Now I'm coming at this from a place of: 21 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,064 This is your house, and I'm a guest, all right? 22 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,650 The magic of "Horsin' Around" is not Herb Kazzaz or Danny Bananas. 23 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,937 I know why people buy the Big Mac. I'm not here to change the recipe. 24 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,235 You're the special sauce, BoJack. 25 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,359 Me? I just wanna be the bun. 26 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,080 And not even the top or the bottom bun. 27 00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,656 I'm fine being the middle bun. 28 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,791 - You already told me this story. - I did? 29 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:20,078 Yeah. Danny. Sharona. The buns. We've been over it. 30 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,753 - Well, did I tell you about Gina? - Yes. 31 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,042 - And Sarah Lynn? - Multiple times. Yes. 32 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,840 What about the time I sneezed on Marisa? 33 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:27,916 You've told me everything. 34 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,674 You told me about that dream where you go to a dinner party. 35 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,507 I even went down that strange detour with you 36 00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,600 about the three-nippled woman in the nudie magazine 37 00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:35,722 your uncle showed you. 38 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,104 - Who was she? - I think we're done here. 39 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:41,391 - What do you mean, done? - Well, you've been here six months. 40 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,886 It's time to go home. 41 00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:37,803 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 42 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,196 Oh, sorry. Uh, not this way. 43 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,003 My boss is gonna kill me 44 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,408 if I don't deliver these flowers to his mistress. 45 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,077 Well, we're filming an episode of "Birthday Dad," 46 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,957 and my boss is gonna kill me if I let anyone through. 47 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,360 Great, when they discover my remains scattered 48 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,764 in the bramble of Griffith Park, 49 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,970 my loved ones will take solace knowing I died 50 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,800 so they could shoot an episode of "Birthday Dad." 51 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,507 I'm sorry. It's a really good show! 52 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,160 I know I couldn't always be there for you, 53 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:09,061 birthday-wise, but I'd like to be. 54 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,727 I'd like to be your Birthday Dad. 55 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:15,196 You really don't get it, do you? This is the real world, okay? 56 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,658 And I'm a career gal. I don't have time for birthdays. 57 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,740 But what about the birthday spirit? 58 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,825 Everyone knows there's no such thing. This is the real world. 59 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,792 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drink my coffee. 60 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,706 Cut. Let's move on. 61 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,671 Great take, Melodie. Chills. 62 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,422 Are we Glenn Close, Jeff Goldblum, Kevin Kline, 63 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,924 and all of the greatest Motown singles collected on one... 64 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,255 - "Big Chills." - Hot herbal tea? 65 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,974 - Yes, that would be... Ooh! - Ha! 66 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,434 - Oops. - Got me again, Audrey. 67 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,484 Donna, we're gonna need another scarf. 68 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,808 Am I crazy, or has the crew turned on you? 69 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,727 No, what they're turned onto is hating me... 70 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,363 on account of I cheated on Pickles. 71 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,780 Ever since the story went viral, 72 00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:57,028 the public has really mashed the thumbs down on old Peanurino. 73 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,321 - Especially young women. - Oh, no! 74 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:02,655 "Especially Young Women" is one of our show's eight target demos. 75 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,872 We gotta juice your Q! 76 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,955 Right now, the only juice I'm interested in is Pickles' juice 77 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:11,038 and making things kosher between us, which is a task I relish. 78 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,245 - So, you wanna have sex with me? - Yes. 79 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,876 And your fiancé is gonna be in there watching, or... 80 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,724 Oh, no. Sorry for the misunderstanding. 81 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,549 This is not a fetish-based cuckolding scenario. 82 00:04:20,630 --> 00:04:21,740 He had sex with his ex, 83 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,990 so to level the playing field now, we have to boink, 84 00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,640 so Mister and I can be even 85 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,871 and everything can go back to normal. You understand? 86 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,522 Not really, but I get to have sex with you? 87 00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:30,610 - Yeah. - Correct. 88 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,015 Then, cool. I'm in. 89 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,105 - But what about your reputation? - I'm not too worried about it. 90 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:38,033 I feel like people generally want to like me. 91 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,900 And if I just don't do anything, 92 00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,856 eventually, the universe will realign 93 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,448 and the public will go back to loving me again. 94 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,414 Ugh. 95 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,833 - Mm, thanks for making breakfast. - Thanks for calling it breakfast. 96 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,456 Not everyone appreciates the subtle art of the crispy oatmeal. 97 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,134 - Are you starting your memoir today? - That was the plan. 98 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,883 But I got these dishes now. That'll take all morning. 99 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,080 And once the morning's over, 100 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,546 basically the whole day is shot, you know? 101 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,795 Better to start clean tomorrow. 102 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,886 Look, I know it's hard to start a new thing, 103 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,280 but the hardest part is starting. 104 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,330 You're right. 105 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:12,480 Also, I'm a freelance cameraman who pays child support, 106 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,312 so I'd encourage you to get an advance. 107 00:05:14,376 --> 00:05:15,836 Hmm. 108 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,781 Hey, uh, guys? Uh, excuse me, everyone? 109 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:24,532 I just wanted to raise a non-alcoholic toast to Denise. 110 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,445 Ha-ha! 111 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,374 Ow! My gluten intolerance! 112 00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:29,933 We've all been through so much together, 113 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,873 and it's never easy to say goodbye. 114 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,456 - Remember when Doug left? - Hmm? 115 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,212 Or Jameson? 116 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,424 Or sweet, sweet Bongo? 117 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:40,133 - Sorry, who are we talking about? - To Denise! 118 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,674 Denise! 119 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,719 I didn't realize we're the last of our original group. 120 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,563 - God, we had some good times, huh? - I mean, no, mostly. 121 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,560 - Yeah. But you're ready, right? - Ready or not, here I go. 122 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:54,904 Yeah, you're ready. 123 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,019 Have you given any thought to what we discussed yesterday? 124 00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:59,240 About you transitioning to a version of yourself 125 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,270 that is no longer here? 126 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,358 I don't know. Things are kinda working for me. 127 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,360 Staying out of trouble, got the fancy room, 128 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,277 finally perfected my egg-white omelet order. 129 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,286 The secret is egg yellows. I might do another six weeks. 130 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,579 You've already re-upped three times. 131 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,372 This place is for people in crisis. 132 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,706 In crisis of being too cool, maybe. Right, Karmen? 133 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:21,263 - I-If I say yes, I can see my baby? - Karmen, no. 134 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,879 You sold your baby to a den of leeches to pay for crack. 135 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:27,256 - The leeches have your baby now. - Oh, yeah. 136 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,595 Ah. Classic Karm. 137 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,345 It's natural to be hesitant. 138 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,021 When I first checked out of rehab, I was terrified. 139 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:37,061 I knew a single drop of alcohol would send me down a ruinous path. 140 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,896 - But I found my way. - Found your way back to rehab. 141 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,673 - Ah, I'll miss our little comedy routines. - "Our?" 142 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,489 A lot of people leave this place, 143 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,910 and I think, "They're not gonna make it." Like Denise, for example. 144 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,371 But you? You've done the work, and you're ready. 145 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,622 You're a special case, BoJack. 146 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,754 - I am? - Of course you are. 147 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,424 Huh. 148 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,714 Oh, boy, did he do a number on you. 149 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,795 He was actually very nice. You know, I want things to be easy on set. 150 00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,845 And I think Danny represents a fresh start. 151 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,469 - Is that why you got Herb fired? - Hey, I'm not the one who... 152 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,057 I can't do your hair if you're gonna move your head so much. 153 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,853 There was nothing I could do about Herb. 154 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,146 If it wasn't for me, they would've canceled the whole show. 155 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,310 And then where would you go? 156 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,688 Who's gonna hire a hair and makeup lady with shaky hands? 157 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,840 My hands only shake when I don't drink. 158 00:07:24,864 --> 00:07:26,454 Be sure to put that on your résumé. 159 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,380 You're just bitter because I'm the only person 160 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,319 who can drink as much as you do. 161 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,579 Ruthie! 162 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,375 Here comes the airplane... 163 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,839 Oh, a kerfuffle! 164 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,129 Hey! What's going on out there? 165 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,473 An ice cream truck crashed into the root beer factory! 166 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,514 Oh, sounds like a delicious disaster. 167 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,266 - Five people are dead! - Oh, no! 168 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,854 And there's worse to come, 169 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:59,443 unless somebody can slurp up all that ice cream! 170 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:03,984 Oh, I'd love to help slurp, but I just started a new nannying job. 171 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,572 I don't care! 172 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,146 Hmm... 173 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,661 Wow, BoJack leaving rehab. 174 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,544 Truly the end of an era. 175 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,540 Sobby Bobby. Gonna miss your excessive crying. 176 00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:20,672 Can't believe it. 177 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,250 Last time I'm gonna stop at this vending machine. 178 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,796 What do you say, B-7? One more hike down Funyun Canyon? 179 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,177 Whew. 180 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,970 Oh, wow. Hello, the public. 181 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,620 Didn't think I'd have to address this so quickly, 182 00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:37,676 but I am not ashamed. 183 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,760 Yes, I, BoJack Horseman, 184 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,437 - went to rehab... - Uh, keep it moving. 185 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,731 We wanna get a clean shot 186 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:47,903 for when Gen Z pop superstar/fashion disrupter Joey Pogo shows up. 187 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,570 - Joey Pogo? - Yeah, he's checking in today. 188 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,615 - We heard he's gettin' the fancy room. - Fancy room? 189 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,787 He's gettin' the fancy room. 190 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,290 - It's time to go home. - What? 191 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,583 Ready or not. 192 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,086 I got the fancy room. 193 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,588 He's gettin' the fancy room. 194 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,222 You're a special case, BoJack. 195 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,394 Stay cool, man. Have a good summer. 196 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,049 What does it all mean? 197 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,670 Sounds like they're kicking you out to make room 198 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,450 - for Joey Pogo. - Huh? 199 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:23,654 Sounds like they're kicking you out to make room for Joey Pogo. 200 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,700 Oh, my God. I think they're kicking me out 201 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,107 to make room for Joey Pogo. 202 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:32,201 I just feel like if I knew the source of my addiction, 203 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,700 everything else would just click together. 204 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:35,912 - Playtime's over. - BoJack! 205 00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,452 - What the hell? This is my time. - Shut up, Brad. 206 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,996 The source of your addiction 207 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,640 is wanting to impress your old babysitter 208 00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,289 who stole beer from your parents' fridge. 209 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,544 She's dead. You're free. 210 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:45,790 No, that's not... 211 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,815 Oh. Oh... 212 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,456 I thought you were checking out. 213 00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:51,900 Oh, you would love that, wouldn't you? 214 00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:54,046 Yes. I've been very clear on that matter. 215 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,845 Well, check this out. 216 00:09:55,928 --> 00:10:00,178 BoHo go bye... BoHo go bye-bye for... 217 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,386 What is he doing? 218 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,975 I think he's trying to get out a zinger. We better let him finish. 219 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,981 You have to imagine that I just said it. 220 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:08,443 It's only funny if it feels extemporaneous. 221 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,284 Don't waste your breath setting it up, just say the thing. 222 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,360 - Why don't you start over? - Check this out. 223 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,616 BoHo go bye-bye for JoJo Pogo? 224 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,869 That's a no-go, bro. 225 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,659 Worth it. 226 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,078 I'm sorry. Please, go around. 227 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,003 I worked on it all night. The thing that's gonna save your career. 228 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,836 Ha! 229 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,971 - What is it? - It's a meme! For posting online! 230 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,550 Teacher gave you too much homework? "Sad Dog!" 231 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,596 Your favorite sports outfit lost the match? "Sad Dog!" 232 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,430 People are gonna love it. And that love will transfer to you. 233 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,600 But I'm not a sad dog. I'm a happy dog. Everyone knows that. 234 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,226 So, it needs some massaging. 235 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,313 Hold on, I gotta take this. 236 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,897 Conversation over? "Sad Dog!" See how easy it is? 237 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,364 Pickles! How was your date with Carl? 238 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,570 I don't know, Mister. 239 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,780 The sex was good, like, really good, 240 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,275 but I didn't feel an emotional connection. 241 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,908 Don't beat yourself up about that. You just met the guy. 242 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,575 But part of the betrayal of you sleeping with Diane 243 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,825 is the fact that you share an intimate history. 244 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,917 If we're really trying to even things out, I don't think Carl counts. 245 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,260 Okay, well, then I guess you'll just have 246 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,681 to keep having sex with people 247 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,388 until you find someone with whom you have an emotional connection. 248 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,812 That might be a lot of guys, 249 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,848 but if that's what it's gonna take to save our marriage, 250 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:28,023 I will keep riding the express train to bone-town until that happens. 251 00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,862 That's my girl. 252 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,609 Oh! Thank you. 253 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,714 Hello? 254 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:34,740 Hey, it's Diane. 255 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,742 Oh, yes, I thought I heard retired dads in the distance, 256 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,532 praising the '95 Chicago Bulls. 257 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,865 Maybe you could give me some advice. I'm writing a new book, 258 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,700 but I shouldn't even get started 259 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,451 until I sell it to a publisher, right? 260 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,873 - What is it? - I'm still in the loose idea phase. 261 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,457 Half essay, half memoir. 262 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,542 The working title is, 263 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:52,760 "One Last Thing, and Then I Swear to God 264 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,166 I'll Shut Up About This Forever: 265 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:57,715 A Definitive Retrospective of the Choices We Make, 266 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,430 People We Hurt, The Places We Go: Part One." 267 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,300 How could it be part one if it's definitive? 268 00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:04,540 I'm getting another call. 269 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,579 Hello? 270 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,139 Hi, while you were blabbering on, 271 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,846 I had our lit assistant take care of everything. 272 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,937 A navel-gazey book of observations. Sounds fun. 273 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,733 - No, I... - I sold it. You have six months. 274 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,107 Enjoy the process. 275 00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:17,193 Oh. 276 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,700 Wha... 277 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,583 What happened? You're packing your things backwards. 278 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,673 What happened is you said I was special. 279 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,829 You gave a whole spiel, just trying to get rid of me 280 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,877 to make room for a high-profile new client. 281 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,051 I thought we'd made strides on your jealousy issues. 282 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,670 And also, it's pronounced "shpeel." 283 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,627 I'm not jealous! And I've definitely seen it written out as "spiel." 284 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,598 I think it's spelled "spiel," but it's pronounced "shpeel." 285 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,929 Not now, Joey Pogo. 286 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,734 I'm sorry, am I interrupting? I was told I was in the fancy room? 287 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,200 We're moving some things around. 288 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,416 Uh, maybe you could come back tomorrow? 289 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,897 Oh, tomorrow is jammed. 290 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,110 I'm shootin' a video for my new single, "Lace Up," 291 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,991 which is spon-con for my sneaker collab with Mister Pibb. 292 00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,549 Could we just do it now, real quick? 293 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,850 You wanna do rehab real quick? 294 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,460 Life is precious. God is religious, 295 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,827 or merely the idea of human connection. 296 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,289 Don't do drugs. Say you're sorry. 297 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,498 Powerful stuff. Feels like I just got a new lease on life. 298 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,120 Stay cool, bro. Don't ever change. 299 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:14,335 That's the problem. When you say it in here, it all sounds easy. 300 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,798 But I know that out there, it's hard and confusing. 301 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,169 - And it's just... I-I don't... - But you're not alone. 302 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,126 You have a wonderful support system. 303 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:23,440 Think of all your amazing friends, 304 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:26,887 just waiting to love you as you love them. 305 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,519 Todd's phone. What if Todd was one of us? 306 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,808 Um, okay. Is Todd there? 307 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,857 Please hold for the next available Todd. 308 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,659 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, listen, I'm... 309 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,582 You're probably wondering about Georgette, 310 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,411 - the newest member of Team Chavez. - Nope. 311 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,117 Since I've started taking care of Ruthie full-time, 312 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:57,708 that hasn't given me a lot of time for regular Todd business, 313 00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,665 and stuff's been falling through the cracks. 314 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,125 So, you hired an assistant? 315 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,880 Well, yes, but assistants are like Deadpool movies. 316 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,138 I couldn't just stop at one, even though I probably should have. 317 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,811 Now I have 12. 318 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,854 You hired 12 assistants? To assist you? 319 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,355 Yep, I've got Bella trying out new goofy dances, 320 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,648 Pedro's monitoring all the Five Guys franchises 321 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,573 to make sure each one has the right number of guys, 322 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,033 and Silvia's in charge of checking... 323 00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:28,020 All About That Ace every 15 minutes. 324 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,347 What is "All About That Ace?" 325 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,578 My asexual dating app. I think I might be the only one on it. 326 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:35,123 But another ace could join any day now. 327 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,747 And when that happens, two of a kind. 328 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,415 Well, I guess that makes about as much sense as the rest of it. 329 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,634 Listen, um, I might be getting out of rehab soon... 330 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,256 BoJack, that's fantastic! 331 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:50,262 and I wanted to talk to you because I, uh... 332 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,732 can't do this by myself. 333 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:58,187 Hey, I got you, buddy. You just wait one jiffy. 334 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:05,967 - Hi. - Ah! 335 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,070 I'm Casey, the assistant. Todd hired me to be your friend. 336 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,908 Okay, that's, uh, you know... I think I'm good. Thank you. 337 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,714 He said I would be perfect for you because you could be mean to me 338 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,708 and you wouldn't feel bad because you're paying me. 339 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,080 Okay, well, that's kind of thoughtful. 340 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,550 I'm a very good assistant, 341 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,620 and I can be very discreet, whatever you need. 342 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,633 Marc Cherry used to dress me in the outfit Natalie Wood drowned in 343 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,176 and scream at me for hours on end. 344 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,929 It was very therapeutic for him, and I didn't mind 345 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,602 because he wasn't screaming at me, he was screaming at death. 346 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,601 Stars really are just like us, huh? 347 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,693 - Do you mind if I have a sip? - Don't drink that! 348 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,649 Right, of course. I must earn hydration. So sorry. 349 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,823 No, it's just... That's vodka. 350 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:45,069 You think it's a good idea to keep a bottle of vodka in rehab? 351 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,777 Because it is if you think it is. 352 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:48,913 It's not for drinking. 353 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:52,949 I just, I... I don't know why I keep it. As a reminder, I guess. 354 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:54,702 Of what? 355 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:56,544 Sarah Lynn? 356 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,833 Sarah Lynn? 357 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,105 Sarah Lynn! 358 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,836 - What? - Are you almost done? 359 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,669 I need Sharona to work that magic on her mane man. 360 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,125 Yeah, I'll get to you in a minute. Cool your jets. 361 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,176 Why can't you do this in Sarah Lynn's dressing room? 362 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,679 My stepdad's in there, and he's being weird. 363 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,472 - Why is that my problem? - We appreciate your hospitality. 364 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,636 Hey, BoJack, what do you think of the new guy? 365 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,265 Danny? Yeah, he's okay. Right? 366 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,522 - I miss Herb. - We all do, sweetie. 367 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:23,654 Herb. Danny. What difference does it make? We got a job to do, right? 368 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,112 I'm just saying I miss him. 369 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,645 And I'm just saying it's not my fault he got fired. 370 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,656 - I dunno why you're complaining to me. - I'm sorry. 371 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,028 Nobody said it was your fault. 372 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,220 I actually think Danny represents an opportunity. 373 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,264 For a new beginning. 374 00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:38,414 You don't think it feels weird to do the show without Herb? 375 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,037 If Herb really cared about the show, maybe he shouldn't have... 376 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,125 What? Been gay? 377 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,129 No, that's not... Obviously... 378 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,461 - I put my ass on the line for you people. - Ugh. BoJack. 379 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,280 Do you know how lucky we are to have this? 380 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,877 Herb was gonna throw that all away. 381 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,887 I made the tough choice. What did you do? 382 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,929 - I... I don't know. - BoJack, she's ten! 383 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,224 Yeah, which is basically an adult in Hollywood years. 384 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,887 I'm trying to make this situation work. Enjoy my dressing room. 385 00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:02,380 Hey, I know you feel shitty, 386 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,937 but don't take it out on a little girl. 387 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,613 I don't feel shitty, I feel great! 388 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,321 Okay. You know why this is here, Casey? 389 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,697 It's because I think I'm special and the rules don't apply to me. 390 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,905 And I keep thinking that over and over again. 391 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,866 - Well, you are special. - No, shut up. 392 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,916 That's the problem. I'm an asshole. 393 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,960 All your bosses are assholes. And people like you indulge us. 394 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,505 And you soothe our egos, and you let us abuse you. 395 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,679 - You're right, I'm terrible. - No, God damn it. That's not my point. 396 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,259 Have some respect for yourself. 397 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,103 Okay, sorry. I'm just happy to be a part of things. 398 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,430 Yeah, and that's how they get you. 399 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,443 I'm sorry. It's not your fault. 400 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,559 Can you run downstairs and grab me some Funyuns? 401 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,227 - Mm... No. - What do you mean, no? 402 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,694 Huh. 403 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:53,740 I don't know. I'm not going to do that. 404 00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:57,412 - Uh, what's happening? - There's an "I" in assistants. 405 00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,583 And this time, the "I" is us. 406 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,212 I like your energy, but what? 407 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,740 And lo and behold, 408 00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:06,520 my sandwich has onions... 409 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:10,263 when I specifically meant to tell you I didn't want onions. 410 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,402 Where are you going? 411 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,881 So, this lawyer's got attitude. 412 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:16,547 And that attitude? Autism. 413 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,347 I don't understand, why is this person moving now? 414 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:20,811 Wait! What's goin' on? 415 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:24,141 The Hollywoo Assistants are unionizing. This is a walk-out. 416 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,234 No! I've grown too dependent on you! 417 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,693 I can't perform basic Todd functions anymore! 418 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,404 I'm like a toddler, but a Todd version. A Toddler! 419 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,832 I know you got a job to do, but is there any way... 420 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,949 Joey Pogo could get through? 421 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,906 Just got out of rehab, I'm trying to get home. 422 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:45,616 - Knock yourself out. - All right! 423 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,628 Don't die on me, Ileanna. Not on your birthday, of all days! 424 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:53,091 Year after year, the only thing I wished for was a dad. 425 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,263 And now you're here, and it's like... 426 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,932 paging Doctor Birthday! 427 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,811 But if you just told me your wish, that means it won't come true! 428 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:05,939 You really don't get it, do you? It already has. 429 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,225 I love you, Birthday Eric. 430 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,113 No. Birthday Dad. 431 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,281 And cut. 432 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,532 Wow, Melodie. 433 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,743 Are you Janet Gaynor, Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand, Lady Ga... 434 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,115 Drop dead. 435 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,220 Star is Born. 436 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,754 Huh? 437 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,708 Whoa! 438 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,828 Ah! Buddy, what the hell are you doing? Get out of the way! 439 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,337 - Uh... - I saw the whole thing. 440 00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,580 Mr. Peanutbutter said, "I'm a sad dog," 441 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,959 and jumped right in front of the car. 442 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:37,127 I think he's a really sad dog, you guys. You know, like the meme. 443 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,007 Oh, my God, I had no idea. 444 00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:42,140 Mr. Peanutbutter, life is precious. 445 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,995 That's something you hear a lot in rehab. 446 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,811 Hey, why'd you try to kill yourself, you stupid idiot? 447 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,484 - Um... - I'm no psychiatrist, 448 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:51,272 but it's probably because he's such a sad dog! 449 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,856 Mr. Peanutbutter, 450 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,281 we didn't realize you have a mental illness. 451 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,650 Thank you for getting the word out about depression. 452 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,350 You are truly a hero for destigmatizing 453 00:20:00,389 --> 00:20:02,408 this all-too-common affliction. 454 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,952 Yes, a hero! 455 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,076 And to see more of this hero in action, 456 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,293 tune in to "Birthday Dad" this spring on MBN! 457 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,584 Uh-huh. 458 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:13,997 Mr. Peanutbutter, I think I sing for everyone when I say... 459 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,005 Oh, so I guess this all worked out. 460 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,636 - Huh? - Oh. 461 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,932 Depressingly, that is. 462 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,402 I saw your new assistant leave. Why aren't you packed? 463 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,071 I can't. Please don't make me. 464 00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:35,300 You don't know what I'm like out there. 465 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,439 Let's find out. 466 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:38,566 - Hey, that's... - I won't coddle this anymore. 467 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,780 You're scared? Good. Go to AA meetings. Go to a psychiatrist. 468 00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,325 But what pisses me off 469 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,940 is when you take a bed 470 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,368 that someone else could be using to get better. 471 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,213 Isn't it possible I'm one of those people 472 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,458 that would benefit from staying here indefinitely? 473 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,170 No. You're not that special. 474 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,301 And you don't belong here anymore. Pack your things. 475 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,918 Don't belong here, huh? 476 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:06,675 God, what am I doing? 477 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,556 No! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 478 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,490 Nobody drink any water! 479 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,488 Ooh. 480 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,658 Wow, look at you go. 481 00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:32,667 - You can't look at it yet! - Okay, okay! 482 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,879 Sorry. I was just kind of in it, you know? 483 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,000 Yeah? It's going good? 484 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,631 Yeah, you were right. Once I got started, it was easy. 485 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,925 So much of my career has been writing for and about other people, 486 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,720 and how terrible everything is. 487 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,353 It's actually really refreshing to just focus on myself, you know? 488 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:51,561 Well, I don't want to interrupt your flow. Please, write on. 489 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:02,485 Oh, this is a fine how do you do. 490 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,810 Brad was like, "It's difficult to have a hot name, 491 00:22:05,844 --> 00:22:07,119 but not be that hot." 492 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,620 Can you believe that? He's extremely attractive, no? 493 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:12,793 - I don't... - And honestly, is Brad a hot name? 494 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,213 - Brad Pitt, yes. - Ugh. 495 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,961 But like, name one other handsome Brad. 496 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,424 - Bradley Cooper. - Damn it! 497 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:22,513 Doctor Champ, I am so sorry. That was vodka you drank, not water. 498 00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:24,552 Uh, duh! 499 00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,806 Shh! Shut up. If anyone hears you, there's gonna be... 500 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,141 I forgot how fun this is. 501 00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,185 - Just settle down, okay? - Ah! 502 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:36,359 You're gonna spend the night here and sober up. 503 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,568 Oh, so it's easy to be sober all the sudden. 504 00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:41,989 Look who thinks it's easy sober, hmm? 505 00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,489 Shh! Doctor Champ! 506 00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:47,410 It's so easy. Everything, very easy. 507 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,924 Hey, Horse. 508 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,960 Bad news about the Manzanita lawsuit. You think he'll settle? 509 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,665 Settle? Manzanita? 510 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:05,255 I'd say that's about as likely as my daughter Sabrina skipping school 511 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:07,892 and sneaking into the office with me in my work luggage! 512 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:11,894 - Uh... - Uh... 513 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,313 Cut! 514 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:16,437 Listen, you're doing great. Slight change of plans, though. 515 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,610 Sarah Lynn had to go home early. So, we need to change the episode 516 00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:22,689 to being about you not bringing Sabrina to the office. 517 00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:23,816 Is she okay? 518 00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:27,282 Uh, only reason I'm telling you this is you're my main guy here, 519 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,164 and I know you want what's best for everyone. 520 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,210 Of course. 521 00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:32,701 Sarah Lynn got her hands on some alcohol. 522 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,696 - Oh, my God. - Her mother is apoplectic. 523 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:35,788 She wants to sue. 524 00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:39,712 I think it's just big talk, but someone needs to be held accountable. 525 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:41,288 And as the guys in charge here, 526 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:45,008 we're responsible for figuring out who that's gonna be. 527 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,180 - What are you... - I need you to be straight with me. 528 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:50,049 - That wasn't your alcohol, right? - Oh, I don't... 529 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,347 It wasn't, right? 530 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,930 Because if it was, we're all in real trouble. 531 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:56,015 - You get what I'm saying. - Y-Yeah. 532 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:59,231 So, you don't know where she got the alcohol from? 533 00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:00,652 Yeah. I have no idea. 534 00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:04,070 Okay. But someone's gotta answer for this. 535 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,901 Well, don't look at me. 536 00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:07,319 Hmm... 537 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:11,584 - What? - Nothing. Just a little uneven, is all. 538 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:25,551 Oh. I'm screwed. I'm so screwed. 539 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:27,470 - It's gonna be okay. - No! 540 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,759 I'm drunk. Not okay. You can't let anyone know about this. 541 00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:32,887 - Shush! - Yeah. Shh. 542 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:34,820 You gotta stay with me until I sober up. 543 00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:37,021 I can't be alone here like this. 544 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:38,640 It's okay, I'm here. 545 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:43,017 Yeah, be here. You need to stay here, BoJack. 546 00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:46,113 Please. Stay. 547 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:53,200 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ...