1 00:00:14,421 --> 00:00:16,131 What is acting? 2 00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:18,091 Anyone? 3 00:00:19,134 --> 00:00:20,427 Anyone? 4 00:00:20,969 --> 00:00:26,474 Acting is about leaving everything behind, and... 5 00:00:27,183 --> 00:00:30,103 And becoming something completely new. 6 00:00:30,228 --> 00:00:32,147 What is acting? Anyone? 7 00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:35,316 Acting is about leaving everything behind, and... 8 00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:38,820 becoming something completely new. 9 00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:48,288 Becoming something completely new. 10 00:00:48,371 --> 00:00:49,456 Huh? 11 00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:50,999 Hey-o! 12 00:00:51,082 --> 00:00:53,835 Oh... 13 00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:04,637 What is acting? 14 00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:06,014 Anyone? 15 00:01:06,556 --> 00:01:07,599 Anyone? 16 00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:13,229 Acting is about leaving everything behind and becoming something completely new. 17 00:01:15,899 --> 00:01:17,150 Nailed it. 18 00:01:23,198 --> 00:01:25,325 And that's a Sharpie. 19 00:02:30,098 --> 00:02:32,100 Good morning, my name is Professor Horseman, 20 00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:33,977 which will remain on that whiteboard forever, 21 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:36,479 and this is Intermediate Scene Study. 22 00:02:36,771 --> 00:02:38,648 What is acting? Anyone? 23 00:02:38,731 --> 00:02:41,109 - Ooh! - Oh! Okay. You. 24 00:02:41,192 --> 00:02:42,777 According to Stanislothski, 25 00:02:42,861 --> 00:02:45,405 acting is the desire to create inside of oneself 26 00:02:45,488 --> 00:02:47,323 another, deeper, more interesting life 27 00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:49,409 than the one that actually surrounds him... 28 00:02:49,492 --> 00:02:50,326 or her. 29 00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:53,204 - Oh, okay, yes, but also... Yes? - Oh! 30 00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:57,041 Meisner would say, "Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances." 31 00:02:57,125 --> 00:03:00,044 Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances. 32 00:03:00,128 --> 00:03:02,922 Uh, okay, wow. So, that's acting. But what is...? 33 00:03:03,006 --> 00:03:06,885 Guys, I'm concerned this class is getting very theory-qua-theory... 34 00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:07,968 I was about to say that. 35 00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:11,222 when technique should be a means toward a more engaging art. 36 00:03:11,306 --> 00:03:14,309 - Well, quite astute. - Sorry, horse professor. What's acting? 37 00:03:14,392 --> 00:03:15,392 Um... 38 00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:17,770 Acting is the, um... 39 00:03:18,688 --> 00:03:19,856 Acting is... 40 00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:21,607 Uh... 41 00:03:22,025 --> 00:03:25,987 I don't know what acting is. I don't know what I'm doing. 42 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:27,155 I shouldn't be here. 43 00:03:27,238 --> 00:03:28,948 - Wow. - Oh! 44 00:03:29,616 --> 00:03:33,036 No, I don't want to quit. I'm acting! That's acting. 45 00:03:33,119 --> 00:03:33,953 Oh! 46 00:03:34,037 --> 00:03:35,747 Class dismissed. 47 00:03:36,539 --> 00:03:38,791 But we still have an hour and 20 minutes left. 48 00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:40,585 Yes. Again, I was acting. 49 00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:41,920 You sounded serious. 50 00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:45,006 Instead of judging my acting, how about you act and I judge you? 51 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,591 - For real? - Yeah. Good point. 52 00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:49,177 We could show you the scenes we were working on last semester. 53 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,929 Uh, sure. 54 00:03:51,971 --> 00:03:54,557 - This is from "Kablammo, Mother." - Whenever you're ready. 55 00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:59,395 Mama, where's Daddy's old World War II grenade with the pin still in it? 56 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:02,398 Why would you want an old thing like that? 57 00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:07,403 Tonight, I intend to explode myself. Where are the extra towels? 58 00:04:07,487 --> 00:04:08,947 - Okay, okay. Stop, stop. - What? 59 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,824 - Does this play take place in England? - No. 60 00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:13,910 So why are you talking with an English accent? 61 00:04:14,077 --> 00:04:15,119 I'm acting. 62 00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:18,748 Just as an exercise, maybe use your normal voice. 63 00:04:18,831 --> 00:04:21,834 And Tawnie, when you're telling your mother you're gonna kill yourself, 64 00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:24,379 the next line is, "Where are the extra towels," right? 65 00:04:24,462 --> 00:04:26,047 And the character's being very casual, 66 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:29,175 so maybe she should also be casual when she says she's gonna kill herself. 67 00:04:29,259 --> 00:04:31,844 Like it's a big deal, but it's not a big deal for her. 68 00:04:31,928 --> 00:04:35,139 - Like that's the irony of the scene. - Whoa! That's really smart. 69 00:04:35,515 --> 00:04:37,934 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 70 00:04:38,142 --> 00:04:40,103 Okay, let's see it again. 71 00:04:40,645 --> 00:04:44,148 So, darling, what fun and games shall we play? 72 00:04:44,232 --> 00:04:45,942 Shall we play Scattergories? 73 00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:48,361 I detest Scattergories! 74 00:04:48,444 --> 00:04:51,489 Whatever the prompt, you always answer in vague allusions 75 00:04:51,572 --> 00:04:53,449 to the baby we never had! 76 00:04:53,533 --> 00:04:55,410 Stop. You're both talking to the audience. 77 00:04:55,493 --> 00:04:58,621 I want you to talk to each other, you're having a conversation. 78 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:03,001 - Hey! Who's you? - Who's me? Screw you is who's me! 79 00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:06,504 I got the leads. The Gooba Gooberry Falls leads. 80 00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:09,007 Mm! Them's them good leads. 81 00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:12,719 - Hubba hubba, I'm horny for leads! - Okay, here's my question for you. 82 00:05:12,802 --> 00:05:15,054 Does your character know he's horny for leads, 83 00:05:15,138 --> 00:05:17,015 or is he discovering it? 84 00:05:17,473 --> 00:05:19,600 Who's next? Great. What's the scene? 85 00:05:19,684 --> 00:05:21,728 The scene is I'm late for my next class. 86 00:05:21,811 --> 00:05:23,688 We were supposed to get out 20 minutes ago. 87 00:05:23,771 --> 00:05:25,606 Oh, shit. Sorry. See you Wednesday. 88 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,734 Great work today. Way to go, team. 89 00:05:27,817 --> 00:05:30,737 We did it. That was great, huh? How good was I? 90 00:05:36,743 --> 00:05:40,371 Whitfield, we've been here six weeks. How do you think this is going? 91 00:05:40,455 --> 00:05:43,833 - I think I'm crushing it. - Wow, okay. Well, I admire the confidence. 92 00:05:44,042 --> 00:05:45,877 I know you're an acting major. 93 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,798 And I guess I just... I wanted to make sure that you're taking other classes. 94 00:05:50,882 --> 00:05:54,218 Like, Economics, or maybe a plumbing course. 95 00:05:54,302 --> 00:05:56,137 Or rental car cashier class? I don't know. 96 00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:58,765 What would you want to do if the acting thing doesn't work out? 97 00:05:58,848 --> 00:06:00,641 Hold up, do you think I'm not a good actor? 98 00:06:00,725 --> 00:06:01,601 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 99 00:06:01,684 --> 00:06:05,104 You said "Not a good actor." But now that you've said it... 100 00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:07,940 Some would say there are no bad actors, only bad teachers. 101 00:06:08,024 --> 00:06:11,110 What about Jason Segel? He was a bad actor in Bad Teacher. 102 00:06:11,194 --> 00:06:13,321 I am a wonderful actor. 103 00:06:14,781 --> 00:06:16,074 You'll see. 104 00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:17,658 Okay. 105 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,205 She knew I was drunk, 106 00:06:22,288 --> 00:06:24,624 but she still let me drive off with Jonathan. 107 00:06:24,707 --> 00:06:27,085 Whoa, oh! I'm a drunk! 108 00:06:27,168 --> 00:06:28,669 Jesus, I had no idea, I... 109 00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:30,922 Booze has taken everything from me. 110 00:06:31,005 --> 00:06:34,175 - My job as an airline pilot, my wife. - Huh? What the...? 111 00:06:34,258 --> 00:06:35,301 Those two things. 112 00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,136 Okay. I see what's happening. 113 00:06:37,220 --> 00:06:40,056 Sorry, everybody. This is one of my acting students. 114 00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,100 - He's trying to, um... - Who's Whitfield? 115 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:45,186 - Nobody said "Whitfield." - My name is Whip Whitaker. 116 00:06:45,269 --> 00:06:48,481 - Did you follow me here? - I drank the vodka bottles on the plane. 117 00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:52,151 Drove the plane upside-downsy. Yeah, I'm drunk now. 118 00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:53,277 - Wow. - No, don't... 119 00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:54,529 We've all been there, man. 120 00:06:54,612 --> 00:06:57,323 He hasn't been there. That's the plot of the movie Flight. 121 00:06:57,407 --> 00:06:59,033 Glug, glug, glug. 122 00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:01,327 - That wet the ol' whistle. - So sorry, everyone. 123 00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:05,665 Now I'm completely over the 0.8 percent blood alcohol level. 124 00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:08,418 - I'm in trouble. I am wasted. - This is very disrespectful. 125 00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:10,962 - Hammered... - We work hard to create a safe space here. 126 00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:13,756 - ... tanked, blitzed... - So sorry about that. I recognize that. 127 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,551 - ... Irish, canned, smashed... - I value this room, just know that. 128 00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:19,762 - ... annihilated, laced, faded. - Really sorry about all of this. 129 00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:23,266 - So sorry. - In conclusion, I am a drunk. 130 00:07:23,349 --> 00:07:25,977 The big D. 131 00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:30,565 - Fine. Shut up. You're a drunk. - Aha! Wrong, I was acting! 132 00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:33,985 It appears the student has become the student-er. 133 00:07:36,195 --> 00:07:38,156 Wow, an actor. 134 00:07:42,577 --> 00:07:44,996 Uh... 135 00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:53,588 Foul! That fowl fouled, ref! Where's the whistle? 136 00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:56,966 - Ugh! - There are women tossing women everywhere! 137 00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:59,594 What is this, the Running of the Brides at Filene's Basement? 138 00:07:59,677 --> 00:08:01,053 Who's with me? 139 00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:04,307 Okay. 140 00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:07,226 - Um, they're allowed to do that in rugby. - What? Really? 141 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,229 Also, nobody knows what Filene's Basement is. 142 00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:12,624 That's a shame. You definitely paid too much for that coat. 143 00:08:12,648 --> 00:08:14,734 Oh, is it over? Did we win? 144 00:08:17,153 --> 00:08:19,864 Hey, you're really good. I think. 145 00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:23,743 Don't feel like you have to come to these things if it's not your thing. 146 00:08:23,826 --> 00:08:26,829 No, I liked it. Look at us. Doing college. 147 00:08:26,913 --> 00:08:31,667 I'm just saying you have your things and I have my things. It's okay. 148 00:08:31,751 --> 00:08:33,794 - You wanna get something to eat? - I-I can't. 149 00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:36,756 When we win, we all go to Conspiracy to celebrate. 150 00:08:36,839 --> 00:08:39,550 - Sounds fun. Can I join you? - I don't think you should. 151 00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:42,136 It's a bar, and there will be alcohol there. 152 00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,846 - That's okay. - And young girls. 153 00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:47,767 - What's that have to do with anything? - Nothing. Just stating a fact. 154 00:08:48,392 --> 00:08:51,479 - Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll see you. - Wouldn't wanna be you! 155 00:08:51,562 --> 00:08:53,606 But I would. You're cool. 156 00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:55,566 Thank you. 157 00:08:56,442 --> 00:08:57,442 Hmm. 158 00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:04,700 Yes, good. Keep doing what they're doing. 159 00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:07,203 Tawnie, you're Hollyhock's best friend... 160 00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,413 - We're actually in a fight right now. - Again? 161 00:09:09,497 --> 00:09:11,707 Our fights are like Adele songs. 162 00:09:11,791 --> 00:09:14,335 All kind of the same one, but with different specifics. 163 00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:17,922 - Well, do you understand this rugby thing? - Uh, honestly? No. 164 00:09:18,005 --> 00:09:21,425 She came back from winter break super aggro, but that's Hollyhock, right? 165 00:09:21,509 --> 00:09:23,844 Suddenly, she decides, "This is what I'm all about now, 166 00:09:23,928 --> 00:09:25,805 and everyone else just has to get on board." 167 00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,431 What are we supposed to do with that? 168 00:09:27,515 --> 00:09:30,935 - Whoa! - I guess... get on board. 169 00:09:32,853 --> 00:09:34,564 Get it out, get it... Yes, nice. 170 00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,566 Nice run! Very nice! 171 00:09:36,649 --> 00:09:38,484 Touchdown! That's my sister! 172 00:09:38,568 --> 00:09:39,568 Good try! 173 00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:41,320 Try? She did it. She scored. 174 00:09:41,404 --> 00:09:42,780 It's called a try. 175 00:09:42,863 --> 00:09:44,615 Try to keep up. 176 00:09:44,907 --> 00:09:47,535 Hey! Hey! 177 00:09:50,454 --> 00:09:51,372 - Yeah! - Yes, Cardinals! 178 00:09:51,455 --> 00:09:52,957 - All right! - All right! 179 00:09:57,086 --> 00:09:59,547 The two teams applaud each other, and then the referees. 180 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:01,549 As is customary. See footnote. 181 00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:02,967 We know. 182 00:10:03,718 --> 00:10:04,552 What's up, rugger? 183 00:10:04,635 --> 00:10:06,887 Two tries, two conversions, and a drop goal? 184 00:10:06,971 --> 00:10:08,764 Jonah Lomu over here. 185 00:10:08,848 --> 00:10:10,850 - Great game, Hock. - Oh, Hock. 186 00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:12,977 I like it. Can I get a nickname too, Regina? 187 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:16,188 How about, "Professor Horseman, adult faculty member"? 188 00:10:16,272 --> 00:10:18,858 - We have to go. - Yeah, go. 189 00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,360 Go. See you. See you on the scrumming pitch. 190 00:10:22,361 --> 00:10:24,363 W-E-S-leyan! 191 00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:26,324 We will rock and maul and win! 192 00:10:26,407 --> 00:10:27,908 Wait. Where's Hollyhock? 193 00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:31,579 You mean Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero... 194 00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:36,083 Hey. What the hell? You quit rugby? 195 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:39,045 God. You sound like three of my dads. 196 00:10:39,128 --> 00:10:41,339 - The other five were relieved. - You were good. 197 00:10:41,422 --> 00:10:45,426 I need to focus on my studies. I'm not just here to get my ya-yas out. 198 00:10:45,509 --> 00:10:47,345 Yeah, but rugby's our thing. 199 00:10:48,471 --> 00:10:50,848 Okay, then I guess we'll just... We'll find a new thing. 200 00:10:50,931 --> 00:10:54,685 How about my thing is reading Gender Trouble by Judith Butler, 201 00:10:54,769 --> 00:10:56,979 and your thing is being a teacher? 202 00:10:57,063 --> 00:10:57,980 Are you okay? 203 00:10:58,064 --> 00:11:00,816 I'm just busy with school stuff. 204 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,818 You got your showcase in a couple weeks? 205 00:11:02,902 --> 00:11:04,695 "An Evening of Modern American Scenes"? 206 00:11:04,779 --> 00:11:06,947 Yeah. I'll... I'll go to that. 207 00:11:07,031 --> 00:11:10,284 - Great. I'll see you then. - Yeah, see you then. 208 00:11:10,368 --> 00:11:11,744 Not if I see you first...! 209 00:11:18,417 --> 00:11:19,418 - Hello? - Hey, listen. 210 00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:21,712 - It's your very good accountant, Gaz. - Hey, Gaz. 211 00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,923 I just noticed you spent a lot of money last year. 212 00:11:24,006 --> 00:11:26,967 - Did you go to rehab? Like, a lot? - You just noticed that? 213 00:11:27,051 --> 00:11:30,513 I've got a ton of clients, okay? And this was a big cocaine year for me. 214 00:11:30,596 --> 00:11:33,057 But we're fine. Just make another movie, and you'll be fine. 215 00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:34,451 - You're working on a movie? - No. 216 00:11:34,475 --> 00:11:36,477 Actually, I'm a college professor now. 217 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,562 What, do you hate money? 218 00:11:38,646 --> 00:11:40,231 - Gaz... - Ah, no, no, no, it's fine. 219 00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:42,584 Basically, we're fine. As I told my wife before she left me, 220 00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:44,694 I'm not worried, and you shouldn't be either. 221 00:11:44,777 --> 00:11:46,457 We may need to unload some assets, though. 222 00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:48,239 - You still own that restaurant? - Elefante? 223 00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:51,367 I'd love to dump that money pit, but what idiot would buy it? 224 00:11:51,575 --> 00:11:56,330 - Sold! On this arrangement. - Of course you're sold. It was your idea. 225 00:11:56,497 --> 00:11:59,208 Explain it to me one more time? 226 00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,043 Okay. You'll spend a lot of time 227 00:12:01,127 --> 00:12:03,796 with international superstar sex symbol, Joey Pogo, 228 00:12:03,879 --> 00:12:05,673 building a close emotional bond. 229 00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:07,317 After you've established that connection, 230 00:12:07,341 --> 00:12:10,386 you'll share one magical evening of intimate sexual congress, 231 00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:11,929 after which, we'll finally be even. 232 00:12:12,012 --> 00:12:15,725 You'll marry me, and the two of you will never see each other again. 233 00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:20,354 Hello? No? 234 00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:22,148 Really? Wow, hold on a sec. 235 00:12:22,314 --> 00:12:23,983 Pickles, should I buy Elefante? 236 00:12:24,066 --> 00:12:27,278 Ooh! Then you'd be my husband and my boss. 237 00:12:27,361 --> 00:12:29,196 Like Ike and Tina Turn... No. 238 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,074 - Well, I'm sure there are good examples. - There must be. 239 00:12:32,158 --> 00:12:34,201 But buying a restaurant's a big commitment. 240 00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:36,787 What if I went in on it with you? I like food. 241 00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:39,498 Great idea, Joey Pogo. I'm in! 242 00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:42,501 On you being in. On it. With me. 243 00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:44,712 I've got big ideas for this place. 244 00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:46,922 One word... lazy Susans. 245 00:12:47,006 --> 00:12:47,882 Hold on. 246 00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:52,636 Before we make any rash decisions, should we maybe consider the long-term... 247 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:56,015 Pickles, this guy on the phone is waiting, and I don't want to be rude. 248 00:12:56,098 --> 00:12:58,434 Sorry. Of course. Finish your conversation. 249 00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,144 Sold! 250 00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:02,229 - Now, you were saying? - ... ramifications. 251 00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:04,023 Lazy Susans. 252 00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:08,903 Oh, Heidi, you'll never bag a man 253 00:13:08,986 --> 00:13:10,613 with all your talk of feminism, 254 00:13:10,696 --> 00:13:13,866 and your grandfather in Switzerland, and all your little goat friends... 255 00:13:13,949 --> 00:13:16,786 Stop. Terry, this character is 28. 256 00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:19,371 Is that what you think a 28-year-old sounds like? 257 00:13:19,455 --> 00:13:20,831 I mean, yes? 258 00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:23,125 You do the same old-man voice for every character. 259 00:13:23,209 --> 00:13:25,437 Gotta have a gimmick if I'm gonna make it in the show business. 260 00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:26,837 In "the show business," 261 00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:29,882 when they have old man characters, they cast real old men. 262 00:13:29,965 --> 00:13:31,342 - I'll show you. - Please don't. 263 00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,636 You'll see. 264 00:13:33,719 --> 00:13:36,055 We still have 20 minutes of class left. 265 00:13:38,098 --> 00:13:42,061 I'd driven across that bridge drunk hundreds of times, but never on black ice. 266 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:44,080 Back in my day, 267 00:13:44,104 --> 00:13:47,274 - we called that "the hidden slipperies." - Oh, no. 268 00:13:47,358 --> 00:13:50,110 But we didn't go to meetings and talk about our problems. 269 00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:53,739 - No, we made moonshine in bathtubs. - Please leave. Now. 270 00:13:53,823 --> 00:13:55,050 - Who's Terry? - Nobody said Terry. 271 00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:57,743 Mind if I sit a spell? These old bones need a rest. 272 00:13:57,827 --> 00:13:58,744 Sure, take it easy. 273 00:13:58,828 --> 00:14:01,038 Everyone, this is another one of my students. 274 00:14:01,121 --> 00:14:04,458 I'm very sorry, I have no idea why they think this is gonna impress me. 275 00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:07,211 I just relieved myself in my adult diaper. 276 00:14:07,294 --> 00:14:08,128 Terry... 277 00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:12,424 Here I am, in the twilight of my years, having drunk it all away. 278 00:14:12,508 --> 00:14:14,593 - My job as an airline pilot... - Wow. 279 00:14:14,677 --> 00:14:16,762 - My son... - You don't have a son. 280 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:19,348 Not anymore I don't, because I abandoned him. 281 00:14:19,431 --> 00:14:21,058 I abandoned my boy! 282 00:14:21,141 --> 00:14:22,852 - Papa? - My boy! 283 00:14:22,935 --> 00:14:25,104 - Oh, my God. - Papa? Is that you? 284 00:14:25,187 --> 00:14:28,691 I've gone blind, me has, from working in the distillery! 285 00:14:28,774 --> 00:14:30,234 Oh, my sweet child! 286 00:14:31,443 --> 00:14:32,444 Ugh. 287 00:14:36,574 --> 00:14:38,534 Todd, why don't you and Ruthie go for a stroll 288 00:14:38,617 --> 00:14:40,286 while I talk to these acting students? 289 00:14:40,369 --> 00:14:43,289 She's just a baby, and I don't want to expose her to too much desperation. 290 00:14:43,372 --> 00:14:46,041 You got it, boss. 291 00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:48,377 Today, we have a very special guest. 292 00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:50,504 This is my friend, Princess Carolyn, 293 00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:55,009 who was nice enough to come here to talk about the business of acting. 294 00:14:55,092 --> 00:14:57,761 So, please do not embarrass me. 295 00:14:58,345 --> 00:14:59,346 Oh, no. 296 00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:02,057 How many months until people get discovered, usually? 297 00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:05,060 One? Two? Three? 298 00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:09,732 This is more of a comment than a question, but I've seen every Robert Altman movie. 299 00:15:09,857 --> 00:15:12,776 What's the best diner to be discovered in drinking a milkshake? 300 00:15:13,819 --> 00:15:17,656 What if I want to do nudity? Do I still have to sign a waiver? 301 00:15:18,032 --> 00:15:19,032 Huh! 302 00:15:21,201 --> 00:15:22,202 Whoo! 303 00:15:23,829 --> 00:15:25,789 Hey, who's the kid that didn't ask a question? 304 00:15:25,873 --> 00:15:28,042 - The brooding kid in the back. - Oh, that's Stan. 305 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,209 That kid's got it. 306 00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:30,628 The look, the sauce, 307 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:33,672 the power to make me feel like a 13-year-old girl, 308 00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:36,091 and to make a 13-year-old girl feel like a woman. 309 00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:37,301 I wanna cast him. 310 00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:39,184 - You haven't even seen him act. - Is he good? 311 00:15:39,678 --> 00:15:42,139 He's the best actor I got. 312 00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:44,391 I had my doubts when he did the scene from Proof, 313 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:47,195 but when he did the scene from Doubt, I thought, "There's the proof." 314 00:15:47,311 --> 00:15:48,562 - I have to sign him. - No. 315 00:15:48,646 --> 00:15:51,106 Stan needs to finish school. He's a sophomore. 316 00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:53,609 Great! A legal adult but he looks young. 317 00:15:53,692 --> 00:15:56,820 He can play all the roles that other young, impressionable actors can't 318 00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:59,782 because they keep ODing, or going to prison, or going to rehab, 319 00:15:59,865 --> 00:16:00,950 or killing themselves. 320 00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,911 - No, he's not ready. - Why don't we let Stan decide? 321 00:16:05,245 --> 00:16:07,164 I want to be your manager. 322 00:16:07,247 --> 00:16:11,919 And I can get you Brooding Birthday Boy on "Birthday Dad" right now. 323 00:16:12,002 --> 00:16:13,837 Stan, LA's not going anywhere. 324 00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:16,548 But you need an education, something to keep you grounded. 325 00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:19,551 Stan, look at me. You have an opportunity now. 326 00:16:19,635 --> 00:16:22,429 What do you need, a piece of paper? You're done with this place. 327 00:16:22,513 --> 00:16:24,598 Stan? Stan. Stan, Stan. 328 00:16:24,682 --> 00:16:28,602 One day, you're gonna look back and realize these days on campus, 329 00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:31,271 they were the last days you were truly free. 330 00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:32,231 You want "free"? 331 00:16:32,314 --> 00:16:35,317 Check out the Smirnoff Ice gifting suite at the Emmy Awards after-party! 332 00:16:35,401 --> 00:16:38,821 My whole career, all I wanted was to get to a place like this, 333 00:16:38,904 --> 00:16:39,989 and I didn't even know it. 334 00:16:40,072 --> 00:16:42,074 Out there, there's nothing to protect you. 335 00:16:42,157 --> 00:16:45,744 No, but there's a Patagonia jacket that says "Birthday Dad" on it 336 00:16:45,828 --> 00:16:47,913 that you get from being on "Birthday Dad." 337 00:16:47,997 --> 00:16:51,792 We're safe here, Stan. Please, don't make the mistake I did. 338 00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:55,713 Come on, you'll get your own chair with your name on it! 339 00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:59,508 - Damn it. - Oh, good boy. Yes, he's a good boy. 340 00:16:59,591 --> 00:17:01,927 Okay, first thing, we're gonna get these teeth fixed. 341 00:17:14,982 --> 00:17:16,233 Marshmallow? 342 00:17:18,444 --> 00:17:20,195 Thanks! 343 00:17:20,279 --> 00:17:21,363 That was for the child. 344 00:17:21,447 --> 00:17:23,407 Oh, should've specified. 345 00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:26,201 If she can abstain from eating the marshmallow for 15 minutes, 346 00:17:26,285 --> 00:17:28,120 she'll receive an even bigger reward. 347 00:17:28,203 --> 00:17:31,331 An even bigger reward than a marshmallow? 348 00:17:31,415 --> 00:17:33,625 Remember these times, Ruthie. 349 00:17:33,709 --> 00:17:34,710 Mm-hmm. 350 00:17:39,339 --> 00:17:41,651 - Go Todd for Maude! - You're sitting in front of a marshmallow, 351 00:17:41,675 --> 00:17:44,112 and if you don't eat it, you get a bigger reward in 15 minutes. 352 00:17:44,136 --> 00:17:45,856 - What do you do? - Don't be a sucker, Todd. 353 00:17:45,929 --> 00:17:46,972 Eat the marshmallow. 354 00:17:47,056 --> 00:17:49,216 Who knows what the world's gonna be like in 15 minutes? 355 00:17:49,266 --> 00:17:50,601 That's all I needed to hear. 356 00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:51,935 Thanks, Maude. 357 00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:58,275 Oh, no! What have I done? We've got to find another marshmallow! 358 00:17:58,358 --> 00:18:00,587 Hey, Todd. You've got the Maude Squad. 359 00:18:00,611 --> 00:18:02,464 Just kidding, it's just Maude. I don't have a squad. 360 00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:03,989 Maude? I didn't go to college. 361 00:18:04,073 --> 00:18:06,200 - Where can I get a marshmallow? - The dining hall? 362 00:18:06,283 --> 00:18:09,411 Dining hall? This is Wesleyan, not Hogwarts. 363 00:18:09,495 --> 00:18:12,414 What's in a marshmallow anyway? Maybe I can make one. 364 00:18:12,581 --> 00:18:14,458 I think they're mostly chemicals. 365 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:16,752 To the chemistry lab! 366 00:18:19,004 --> 00:18:22,091 You! Make me a marshmallow! 367 00:18:22,174 --> 00:18:24,384 I'm trying to cure brain cancer. 368 00:18:24,468 --> 00:18:26,470 That's not important right now! 369 00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:27,971 If I don't get a new marshmallow, 370 00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,641 some psychiatrist is gonna get mad at this baby. 371 00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:31,934 A psychiatrist? 372 00:18:32,017 --> 00:18:35,062 I am so sick of the soft sciences wagging the dog 373 00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:37,356 in conversations of behavioral development. 374 00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,857 Let's teach them a lesson! 375 00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:55,791 - I'm sorry, but the experiment's over. - What? Why? 376 00:18:55,874 --> 00:18:58,794 Because you ate the marshmallow. Good day, sir. 377 00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:00,212 Doctor? 378 00:19:03,632 --> 00:19:04,466 You did it! 379 00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:09,471 Hello, my name is Willie Wesleyan, and you've won the school, my boy! 380 00:19:09,555 --> 00:19:12,516 Wesleyan University is yours. 381 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:13,976 What? Why? 382 00:19:14,059 --> 00:19:17,437 Somebody needs to keep that stuffy old board of trustees in check 383 00:19:17,521 --> 00:19:19,982 once I've shed this mortal skin. 384 00:19:20,065 --> 00:19:22,276 - Oh... - Sorry about that. 385 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,862 We're doing LSD research in the room next door. 386 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:27,865 Come on, Mr. Phillips. Time to go. 387 00:19:27,948 --> 00:19:29,748 The frozzleberries taste like banozzleberries! 388 00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:33,328 Yes, Mr. Phillips, everything tastes like something. 389 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,541 So this is college. 390 00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:45,841 - You wanted to see me? - Amy, yeah. Um, have a seat. 391 00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,926 So we're nearing the end of the semester here, 392 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,846 and I'm putting together the cast sheet for the student showcase. 393 00:19:50,929 --> 00:19:53,557 - Uh-huh. - This showcase is a big deal. 394 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,728 This might sound crazy coming from famous television star, BoJack Horseman, 395 00:19:57,811 --> 00:20:00,939 but in some ways, this showcase means even more to me 396 00:20:01,023 --> 00:20:04,151 than the very popular TV shows that, again, I was the star of. 397 00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,236 - It means a lot to me, too. - Does it? 398 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,755 'Cause you've been missing a lot of classes. 399 00:20:07,779 --> 00:20:10,449 And forgetting your lines. You seem tired all the time, and... 400 00:20:10,532 --> 00:20:12,701 I can be better. I'll prove it. 401 00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:13,993 Okay. 402 00:20:15,078 --> 00:20:18,248 As the water rose, I remember fumbling through the glove compartment, 403 00:20:18,332 --> 00:20:20,542 just praying that I could find a pin hammer 404 00:20:20,626 --> 00:20:22,336 so I could shatter the window. 405 00:20:22,419 --> 00:20:26,048 - Uh, excuse me, is this... - No. Nope, no, no, no. Get out of here. 406 00:20:26,131 --> 00:20:27,299 - This has to stop. - What? 407 00:20:27,382 --> 00:20:30,719 This is a place for people who are serious about making a change, 408 00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:33,972 not for desperate acting students pretending to have problems, Amy. 409 00:20:34,056 --> 00:20:35,349 I was just trying to get help! 410 00:20:35,432 --> 00:20:36,808 Oof! 411 00:20:36,892 --> 00:20:38,894 Oh! Oops! That was... 412 00:20:40,979 --> 00:20:41,980 Oops. 413 00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:53,408 - Hey, do you know what this show's about? - I think it's about to start. 414 00:20:53,492 --> 00:20:55,744 So keep your rugby voice on the field, okay? 415 00:20:55,827 --> 00:20:59,331 It turns out my hypothesis was correct. Kids love marshmallows. 416 00:20:59,414 --> 00:21:00,415 You don't say. 417 00:21:00,499 --> 00:21:02,084 You still working on that memoir? 418 00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:04,253 Well, funny story about that... 419 00:21:04,336 --> 00:21:09,341 Oh, I love when stories start like that! Ooh! You should put this one in your book. 420 00:21:11,385 --> 00:21:12,719 Where the hell is she? 421 00:21:13,095 --> 00:21:15,681 Horse professor, we're ready when you are. 422 00:21:17,849 --> 00:21:18,892 Lights. 423 00:21:21,395 --> 00:21:22,729 Hello. 424 00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:25,649 Thank you. Oh, wow, thank you. That's very nice, thank you. 425 00:21:25,732 --> 00:21:28,860 Welcome to "An Evening of Modern American Scenes." 426 00:21:28,944 --> 00:21:31,488 The students are very excited to perform for you tonight. 427 00:21:31,571 --> 00:21:34,783 They've come such a long way over the course of the semester. 428 00:21:34,866 --> 00:21:38,453 Like, a really... a really long way. They were very bad before. 429 00:21:38,537 --> 00:21:39,621 But now... 430 00:21:40,038 --> 00:21:42,874 Well, I mean, you'll see for yourself, uh... 431 00:21:42,958 --> 00:21:45,585 But, um, I'm proud of them. 432 00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:50,215 Anyway, first up is a scene from Sam German-Shepherd's "Real America." 433 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,804 You think real America's all about cowboys? 434 00:21:56,805 --> 00:22:00,267 Well, I say real America's about business! And capitalism! 435 00:22:00,350 --> 00:22:02,019 - Hey, it's Hollyhock. - Ugh! 436 00:22:02,102 --> 00:22:04,563 - Leave a message, if you're a hundred. - God damn it. 437 00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:08,191 I'm starting to think the real America is me kicking your ass! 438 00:22:12,404 --> 00:22:15,073 BoJack? Oh, shit, your showcase! 439 00:22:15,157 --> 00:22:17,034 Tawnie's gonna be so pissed! 440 00:22:17,117 --> 00:22:19,745 Forget Tawnie. I'm pissed! And it's happening right now. 441 00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:21,371 I'm sorry. I forgot. 442 00:22:21,455 --> 00:22:25,959 I know your students just have to do a scene, but I have multiple final papers. 443 00:22:26,043 --> 00:22:28,920 If you're implying acting is a bullshit major, you're right. 444 00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:31,840 But people came all the way from California to see my showcase. 445 00:22:31,923 --> 00:22:34,760 From Chicago. You can't even walk across campus? 446 00:22:34,843 --> 00:22:36,970 Okay, let me put some pants on. 447 00:22:37,054 --> 00:22:39,931 - You've been avoiding me all semester. - I just have a lot going on. 448 00:22:40,015 --> 00:22:42,142 I go to school here. I'm a college student. 449 00:22:42,225 --> 00:22:45,145 - I thought I'd see you more. - This was mine before you got here. 450 00:22:45,228 --> 00:22:49,775 This was my life, my world, and you just, like, live here now. 451 00:22:49,858 --> 00:22:51,985 And you could have asked me, by the way. 452 00:22:52,069 --> 00:22:54,946 Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I thought my sister... 453 00:22:55,030 --> 00:22:57,908 No, don't say that. Like it means something. 454 00:22:57,991 --> 00:23:00,911 - It does mean something. - We don't know each other, really. 455 00:23:00,994 --> 00:23:04,039 - What? - No, I'm just saying it's fine. 456 00:23:04,122 --> 00:23:08,960 I had a life before I met you, and you had a life before you met me. 457 00:23:09,044 --> 00:23:10,337 I don't want that life. 458 00:23:10,420 --> 00:23:14,508 That life, that person? That's not who I am, I... 459 00:23:15,717 --> 00:23:18,136 I'm sorry I came here without asking you first. 460 00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:19,304 That was selfish. 461 00:23:19,388 --> 00:23:21,598 Okay. Thank you. 462 00:23:21,681 --> 00:23:24,976 If this is too weird for you, I don't have to come back next semester. 463 00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:27,104 I can get a job somewhere else. 464 00:23:27,187 --> 00:23:30,023 Tawnie says you're a really good teacher. 465 00:23:30,107 --> 00:23:32,901 She did? Huh. I thought you were in a fight. 466 00:23:32,984 --> 00:23:35,028 Yeah, but I still love her. 467 00:23:35,821 --> 00:23:36,821 Are we in a fight? 468 00:23:37,155 --> 00:23:39,491 Yeah, but... 469 00:23:39,699 --> 00:23:40,699 Yeah. 470 00:23:41,410 --> 00:23:42,869 I should get back to the show. 471 00:23:42,953 --> 00:23:47,124 If you want to come back in the fall, that could be cool. 472 00:23:47,207 --> 00:23:48,291 - Yeah? - Just... 473 00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:50,585 We need to take things slow, you know? 474 00:23:51,711 --> 00:23:53,922 Yeah. I know. 475 00:23:54,589 --> 00:23:55,674 Thanks. 476 00:23:55,966 --> 00:24:00,470 And in that moment, I knew this was my home. 477 00:24:02,264 --> 00:24:03,932 And as long as I was here, 478 00:24:05,267 --> 00:24:06,518 I'd be safe. 479 00:24:07,686 --> 00:24:09,646 But then again, what do I know? 480 00:24:09,729 --> 00:24:14,192 I'm just a 15-year-old boy living in Brighton Beach. 481 00:24:21,158 --> 00:24:22,367 Yeah! 482 00:24:23,869 --> 00:24:24,786 Horse professor. 483 00:24:24,870 --> 00:24:26,496 - Come on. Get up here. - No, no, no. 484 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,665 - Get up here. - No, no, no. Come on. 485 00:24:32,294 --> 00:24:33,336 Thank you. 486 00:24:34,129 --> 00:24:35,755 Thank you so much. 487 00:24:53,690 --> 00:24:54,774 Uh... Hello? 488 00:24:54,858 --> 00:24:56,985 - You need to stop this. - What? 489 00:24:57,068 --> 00:25:00,405 The reporters who keep trying to get Penny to tell her story. 490 00:25:00,489 --> 00:25:01,489 What... What reporters? 491 00:25:01,531 --> 00:25:04,618 Whatever they're doing, I don't want to be included, okay? 492 00:25:04,701 --> 00:25:06,912 I don't want my daughter to be included. 493 00:25:06,995 --> 00:25:09,315 Charlotte, I swear, I don't know what you're talking about. 494 00:25:09,456 --> 00:25:11,225 Well, you better figure it out.