1 00:00:02,382 --> 00:00:04,483 This job is eating me alive. 2 00:00:04,518 --> 00:00:06,719 I can't breathe anymore. 3 00:00:06,753 --> 00:00:09,288 I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, 4 00:00:09,289 --> 00:00:11,857 the man in the white hat. 5 00:00:11,892 --> 00:00:14,527 I'm not becoming like them. 6 00:00:14,528 --> 00:00:16,962 I am them. 7 00:00:16,963 --> 00:00:19,665 Hey! What are you doing, weirdo? 8 00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:21,500 I'm doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. 9 00:00:21,535 --> 00:00:23,302 Or actually, 10 00:00:23,303 --> 00:00:25,704 ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. 11 00:00:25,705 --> 00:00:27,606 What's up? 12 00:00:27,641 --> 00:00:29,842 Get it together, man. Okay? 13 00:00:29,843 --> 00:00:31,577 So the store was hit about two hours ago. 14 00:00:31,611 --> 00:00:34,079 They took mostly tablets, laptops, and cameras. 15 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,884 Sorry. 16 00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:41,360 I'd like a list of all your employees, 17 00:00:41,388 --> 00:00:43,422 whoever had access to the store. 18 00:00:43,423 --> 00:00:45,457 I'd also like to apologize for my partner. 19 00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:47,259 His parents didn't give him enough attention. 20 00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:48,327 Uh, Detective... 21 00:00:48,361 --> 00:00:49,929 I already solved the case. 22 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,463 We're looking for three white males, 23 00:00:51,464 --> 00:00:53,165 one of whom has sleeve tats on both arms. 24 00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:54,900 And how do you know that? 25 00:00:54,935 --> 00:00:56,802 I had an informant on the inside. 26 00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:58,404 He's been here for years. 27 00:00:58,438 --> 00:01:01,307 Watching, learning. Waiting. 28 00:01:01,308 --> 00:01:03,676 His code name? 29 00:01:03,677 --> 00:01:05,844 Fuzzy Cuddle bear. 30 00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:07,746 He's a nanny cam. 31 00:01:07,781 --> 00:01:09,548 You got lucky. 32 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,317 No, I got here five minutes before you 33 00:01:11,318 --> 00:01:12,985 and figured that in this gigantic electronics store, 34 00:01:12,986 --> 00:01:14,954 there had to be at least one working camera. 35 00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:17,089 Oh! Hi, bad guys! 36 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:19,458 You did it, fuzzy. You busted 'em. 37 00:01:19,459 --> 00:01:21,327 It's time to come home. 38 00:01:21,328 --> 00:01:23,195 I'm not sure if I can. 39 00:01:23,196 --> 00:01:26,298 I've been undercover so long, I've forgotten who I am. 40 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:28,300 I have seen terrible things. 41 00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:30,669 I haven't known the touch of a woman in many moons. 42 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,304 All right. 43 00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:34,873 Detective Santiago! 44 00:01:34,874 --> 00:01:36,609 Don't walk away from me! 45 00:01:39,526 --> 00:01:46,232 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync for WEB-DL by Kosire www.addic7ed.com 46 00:01:47,387 --> 00:01:49,789 Yes, I did crack the case. 47 00:01:49,823 --> 00:01:51,891 So, Santiago, would you do the honors? 48 00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:57,229 Ohhh! 49 00:01:57,230 --> 00:01:58,664 I hate this! 50 00:01:58,699 --> 00:01:59,932 Ah, yeah. 51 00:01:59,933 --> 00:02:01,367 I hate this. 52 00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:02,535 And you're just gonna add one. 53 00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,903 I'm winning. 54 00:02:05,072 --> 00:02:06,706 It's a good feeling. 55 00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,641 It's a good feeling. Yeah. 56 00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:09,842 Enjoy it while it lasts. 57 00:02:09,876 --> 00:02:11,243 I will! 58 00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:13,579 JP, update on the Morgenthau murder? 59 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:16,282 Yeah! Good news for all you murder fans. 60 00:02:16,283 --> 00:02:18,084 Earlier this morning... 61 00:02:18,118 --> 00:02:20,419 Someone decided to shoot and kill 62 00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:22,888 luxury food importer Henry Morgenthau. 63 00:02:22,889 --> 00:02:24,924 Body was found by the cleaning lady, 64 00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,626 during her interview, I deduced, using expert Detective work, 65 00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:29,762 that she had something super gross on her chin. 66 00:02:31,898 --> 00:02:33,366 I think it was flan. 67 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,633 Charles thinks it was flan. 68 00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:36,168 I think it was butterscotch pudding. 69 00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:37,803 Maybe it was just old person gunk. 70 00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:39,338 You know how old people always have that gunk on them. 71 00:02:39,373 --> 00:02:40,606 Oldie gunk. Could be, yeah. 72 00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:41,907 Anyone else? 73 00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:43,409 How about we focus on the murder 74 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,378 and not the old person gunk? 75 00:02:45,412 --> 00:02:46,712 Crime techs are at the scene now. 76 00:02:46,713 --> 00:02:47,880 We're heading back when they're done. 77 00:02:47,914 --> 00:02:49,415 Okay, I want you on this. 78 00:02:49,416 --> 00:02:50,850 It's gonna be priority one for the new C.O. 79 00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:52,685 Wait, tell us about the new Captain. 80 00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:53,919 Captain Holt will be here soon. 81 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:58,224 He'll wanna introduce himself. Dismissed. 82 00:03:00,494 --> 00:03:01,700 Hey, Gina. 83 00:03:01,728 --> 00:03:03,396 You know any scalpers? 84 00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:05,297 I wanna ask Rosa to go to the Rihanna concert with me, 85 00:03:05,298 --> 00:03:06,465 but it's sold out. 86 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,434 Okay, two points to make here. 87 00:03:08,435 --> 00:03:10,136 First, Rihanna... 88 00:03:10,170 --> 00:03:11,303 You... 89 00:03:11,338 --> 00:03:13,239 And then Rihanna. 90 00:03:13,273 --> 00:03:15,441 Yeah. What's your second point? 91 00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:16,809 She's got a type. 92 00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:18,911 Which is really anyone but you. 93 00:03:18,945 --> 00:03:21,414 Yeah, that was my ex-wife's type too. 94 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:25,151 Look, a Rihanna concert's a pretty big swing, man. 95 00:03:25,152 --> 00:03:28,254 - I don't know. - She's into watching old movies. 96 00:03:28,288 --> 00:03:31,657 Cool. Where would I find a place that shows old movies? 97 00:03:31,691 --> 00:03:33,692 Oh, yeah, just go on the Internet 98 00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:37,263 and search for the phrase "I want to buy two movie tickets 99 00:03:37,264 --> 00:03:38,931 for a girl who doesn't like me." 100 00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:41,567 - Great. Thank you. - Good. 101 00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:45,438 Hey, you heard anything about the new Captain? 102 00:03:45,472 --> 00:03:47,373 Uh, no, and I don't care. 103 00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,608 I just wish Captain McGintley never left, he was the best. 104 00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:51,143 He was terrible. 105 00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:52,378 You just liked him 'cause he let you do 106 00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:53,679 anything you wanted. 107 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,515 On your marks, get set... 108 00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:58,017 Go. 109 00:03:58,018 --> 00:03:59,685 What the hell's going on around here? 110 00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:01,987 Fire extinguisher roller chair derby? 111 00:04:02,022 --> 00:04:03,823 Okay. 112 00:04:03,824 --> 00:04:05,458 And go! 113 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:10,963 Yeah! 114 00:04:10,964 --> 00:04:12,965 What's your point? 115 00:04:12,966 --> 00:04:15,134 If I'm ever gonna make Captain, I need a good mentor. 116 00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:16,168 I need my rabbi. 117 00:04:16,203 --> 00:04:17,970 Sorry, dude... 118 00:04:17,971 --> 00:04:19,772 But this new guy's gonna be another washed-up pencil pusher 119 00:04:19,806 --> 00:04:20,906 who's only concerned with... 120 00:04:20,907 --> 00:04:22,208 Following every rule 121 00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:24,176 in the patrol guide. 122 00:04:24,177 --> 00:04:28,114 Meep morp zeep. Robot Captain Engage. 123 00:04:28,148 --> 00:04:30,149 - Is that what you think? - He-hey! 124 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,718 New Captain alert. 125 00:04:32,752 --> 00:04:34,420 You must be the new C.O. 126 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,555 I'm Detective Jake Peralta. Great to meet you. 127 00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:38,224 Now don't let me interrupt. 128 00:04:38,225 --> 00:04:39,525 You were describing what kind of person I'm gonna be. 129 00:04:39,526 --> 00:04:40,860 I'd like you to finish. 130 00:04:40,894 --> 00:04:44,597 That's not necessary. 131 00:04:44,598 --> 00:04:47,633 Or I could recap very quickly, sure. 132 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:49,435 Um, let's see. 133 00:04:49,436 --> 00:04:51,103 I think I said some joke 134 00:04:51,104 --> 00:04:53,072 about being a washed-up pencil pusher. 135 00:04:53,106 --> 00:04:54,907 - Now do the robot voice. - Which... 136 00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:57,009 The robot voice you were doing 137 00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,878 when you implied I'm a rule-following robot. 138 00:04:58,879 --> 00:05:01,881 I wanna hear it again. 139 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:07,253 Meep morp... zarp. 140 00:05:07,254 --> 00:05:09,355 Robot. 141 00:05:09,389 --> 00:05:11,690 - That's a terrible robot voice. - Yep. 142 00:05:11,691 --> 00:05:13,025 The next time I see you, 143 00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:15,227 I'd like you to be wearing a necktie. 144 00:05:15,262 --> 00:05:18,264 Oh, actually, the last Captain didn't care if we wore ties. 145 00:05:18,298 --> 00:05:19,598 Well, your new Captain does. 146 00:05:19,599 --> 00:05:20,966 And more importantly, 147 00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:23,035 he cares that you follow his direct orders. 148 00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:24,236 Everyone, 149 00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:25,671 I'm your new commanding officer, 150 00:05:25,705 --> 00:05:28,073 - Captain Ray Holt. - Speech! 151 00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:30,776 - That was my speech. - Short and sweet. 152 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:34,780 - Sergeant Jeffords, a word. - Yes, sir. 153 00:05:34,814 --> 00:05:37,616 I love that guy. 154 00:05:37,651 --> 00:05:38,784 Same! 155 00:05:38,818 --> 00:05:40,586 He's so suave. 156 00:05:40,587 --> 00:05:44,123 Does anyone get a little bit of a gay vibe? 157 00:05:44,157 --> 00:05:45,891 No? Okay. 158 00:05:45,926 --> 00:05:48,492 Sergeant, you were in the 1-8 with me... 159 00:05:48,495 --> 00:05:51,931 Though you were significantly... 160 00:05:51,932 --> 00:05:53,098 Fatter, sir. 161 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,000 They called me "Terry Titties." 162 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,937 Because I had large, uh... 163 00:05:57,971 --> 00:05:59,672 Titties, yes. I remember. 164 00:05:59,673 --> 00:06:01,240 I never liked that nickname. 165 00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,309 Though to be fair, it was accurate. 166 00:06:03,343 --> 00:06:05,477 What's this I hear about you being on administrative leave? 167 00:06:05,512 --> 00:06:10,249 A year ago, my wife and I had twin baby girls. 168 00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,051 Cagney and Lacey. 169 00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:13,886 They have adorable chubby cheeks. 170 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,789 Ever since, I kinda got scared of getting hurt. 171 00:06:16,823 --> 00:06:18,958 Lost my edge. 172 00:06:18,959 --> 00:06:21,460 There was an incident in a department store. 173 00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:23,902 Hey, man, you okay? You look a little jumpy. 174 00:06:23,930 --> 00:06:25,130 I'm fine. I'm fine. 175 00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:29,335 Ahhh! 176 00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:34,306 I think he's dead. 177 00:06:34,307 --> 00:06:36,442 And I'm still not right. 178 00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:38,677 Tell me about your Detective squad. 179 00:06:38,712 --> 00:06:41,380 Um... 180 00:06:41,381 --> 00:06:43,515 Well, Scully, Hitchcock, and Daniels. 181 00:06:43,516 --> 00:06:44,850 They're pretty much worthless, 182 00:06:44,884 --> 00:06:46,218 but they make good coffee. 183 00:06:46,219 --> 00:06:48,053 Copy that. 184 00:06:48,054 --> 00:06:49,855 Now the good ones. 185 00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:51,023 Rosa Diaz. 186 00:06:51,057 --> 00:06:55,160 Tough, smart, hard to read, and really scary. 187 00:06:56,529 --> 00:06:58,430 Tell me who has me for secret santa. 188 00:06:58,465 --> 00:07:01,867 No! That takes all the fun out of it. 189 00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:04,436 It's Scully. He got you a scarf. 190 00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:08,007 - I'll make him return it. - Yes, you will. 191 00:07:08,008 --> 00:07:10,175 Charles Boyle. He's a grinder. 192 00:07:10,210 --> 00:07:11,810 Not the most brilliant Detective, 193 00:07:11,811 --> 00:07:13,479 but he works harder than anyone else. 194 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,372 He's not physically gifted. 195 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,152 Oh, man! My muffin. 196 00:07:20,153 --> 00:07:21,654 Ahh! 197 00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:23,922 Oh, my head! My muffin, my head! 198 00:07:23,923 --> 00:07:25,924 And I stepped on the... On my muffin! 199 00:07:25,925 --> 00:07:27,092 And my head and my muffin. 200 00:07:27,093 --> 00:07:30,129 Amy Santiago. 201 00:07:30,163 --> 00:07:31,864 She's got seven brothers, 202 00:07:31,865 --> 00:07:33,198 so she's always trying to prove she's tough. 203 00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:35,467 Careful. That stuff's pretty hot. 204 00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:38,037 Oh, is it? Hmm? 205 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:45,194 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 206 00:07:48,281 --> 00:07:50,182 She and Peralta have some big bet 207 00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:51,850 over who gets more arrests this year. 208 00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:54,887 Ever since the bet, their numbers have gone way up. 209 00:07:54,888 --> 00:07:56,422 Tell me about Peralta. 210 00:07:56,456 --> 00:07:59,425 Jacob Peralta is my best Detective. 211 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,994 He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. 212 00:08:02,028 --> 00:08:04,363 The only puzzle he hasn't solved 213 00:08:04,364 --> 00:08:06,498 is how to grow up. 214 00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:08,667 That was very well put. 215 00:08:08,702 --> 00:08:11,937 I've talked a lot about Jake in my departmentally mandated 216 00:08:11,938 --> 00:08:13,672 therapy sessions. 217 00:08:13,707 --> 00:08:15,374 Look, you know my history. 218 00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:16,775 You know how important this is to me. 219 00:08:16,776 --> 00:08:18,277 This precinct is doing fine, 220 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,746 but I wanna make it the best one in Brooklyn. 221 00:08:20,747 --> 00:08:21,847 And I need your help. 222 00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:23,313 Absolutely, sir. 223 00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:26,018 Where do we start? 224 00:08:28,555 --> 00:08:30,154 We start with him. 225 00:08:32,488 --> 00:08:35,056 Okay, so the perp came in through the window, 226 00:08:35,091 --> 00:08:36,558 left the muddy red footprint, 227 00:08:36,592 --> 00:08:38,426 and apparently had sex with the dish rack. 228 00:08:38,427 --> 00:08:40,562 Shell casing found here. Two shots. 229 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:41,863 Bang, bang. 230 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,732 Great work, Detective. 231 00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:45,333 You get a tie. 232 00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:46,735 Hey, that's mine. You took it from my desk. 233 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:47,838 That's right, Charles. Good solve. 234 00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,170 - Tie for you. - Thanks! 235 00:08:49,171 --> 00:08:50,672 Now everyone be sure to put those on 236 00:08:50,673 --> 00:08:52,073 because it's impossible to solve crimes 237 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,843 - unless you're wearing a tie. - Lay off the Captain. 238 00:08:54,844 --> 00:08:56,544 That man is gonna be my rabbi. 239 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,246 Okay, first of all, when you use the word "rabbi," 240 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,748 you know that turns me on 241 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:01,082 and that's unfair in the work environment. 242 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,685 Secondly, your rabbi is a pain in my ass. 243 00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:05,420 Yeah, he's a little too serious. 244 00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:06,921 - What do you think, Rosa? - He seems cool. 245 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,556 Yeah, he seems cool. I agree. 246 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,392 Looks like the perp stole a computer, a watch, 247 00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:15,063 and a Jamon Iberico ham, valued at... what! 248 00:09:15,064 --> 00:09:16,631 $6,000. 249 00:09:16,632 --> 00:09:18,633 $6,000 for a ham? 250 00:09:18,634 --> 00:09:22,137 Jamon Iberico is an amazing cured ham from Spain. 251 00:09:22,138 --> 00:09:23,738 They had it at my uncle's funeral. 252 00:09:23,739 --> 00:09:26,074 I gorged myself at that funeral. 253 00:09:26,075 --> 00:09:27,742 I mean, I was constipated for three days. 254 00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:30,111 Wow, that's a great story, Charles, thank you. 255 00:09:30,146 --> 00:09:31,946 All right, listen up, everybody. 256 00:09:31,981 --> 00:09:33,348 Better contact Captain Holt, 257 00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:34,649 let him know we got a ten-tie situation. 258 00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:37,585 Speaking of ties, where's yours, meep morp? 259 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:38,820 This is fantastic. 260 00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:40,488 Captain! Hey! 261 00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:42,857 Welcome to the murder. What are you doing here? 262 00:09:42,892 --> 00:09:44,259 I like to know what my detectives are up to. 263 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:46,094 - That okay by you? - Yep. 264 00:09:46,095 --> 00:09:47,562 Take Santiago and knock on doors. 265 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:48,963 See if the neighbors heard anything. 266 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,398 Door duty? It's a waste of time. 267 00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:52,233 Diaz and Boyle. Check in the coroner. 268 00:09:52,234 --> 00:09:55,069 Report back to me in an hour. 269 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:57,939 - That went well. - No, it didn't. 270 00:09:57,940 --> 00:10:00,608 He's got like super hearing. 271 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,510 Hey, Rosa! Rosa. Rosa! 272 00:10:02,511 --> 00:10:06,247 Um, I just happened to notice 273 00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:07,916 that there's an old movie festival 274 00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:10,852 playing at the film forum this week. 275 00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:12,420 Wanna go? 276 00:10:12,454 --> 00:10:13,655 Sure. 277 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:15,490 Cool! Awesome. 278 00:10:15,524 --> 00:10:17,292 There's a bunch of movie options. 279 00:10:17,293 --> 00:10:20,495 I'll probably just go with something classic 280 00:10:20,529 --> 00:10:22,163 like Citizen Kane. 281 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,098 Citizen Kane is terrible. Pick a good movie. 282 00:10:24,099 --> 00:10:26,634 Good call. Smart. 283 00:10:26,635 --> 00:10:28,136 I'll do it. 284 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:31,773 I'll pick a better movie than Citizen Kane. 285 00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:33,474 So Gina... 286 00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,510 Civilian administrators like yourself 287 00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:37,312 often have their ear to the ground. 288 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,847 What do Santiago and Peralta 289 00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,248 have riding on this bet of theirs? 290 00:10:40,282 --> 00:10:42,851 I will tell you on six conditions. 291 00:10:42,885 --> 00:10:44,886 Number one, you let me use your office 292 00:10:44,887 --> 00:10:46,387 to practice my dance moves. 293 00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:47,522 Second... How about this? 294 00:10:47,556 --> 00:10:49,357 - If you tell me... - Mm-hmm. 295 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,125 I won't have you suspended... 296 00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,260 Without pay. 297 00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:53,695 Oh, that sounds great. 298 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:56,664 Okay, the deal is if Amy gets more arrests, 299 00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,633 Jake has to give her his car. 300 00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:00,902 It's an old Mustang, and it's pretty sweet. 301 00:11:00,903 --> 00:11:02,570 If he gets more arrests, 302 00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:05,306 she has to go on a date with him. 303 00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:08,810 He guarantees it will end in sex. 304 00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:11,846 I bet on at least some over-the-clothes action. 305 00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:13,514 At the very least, some touching... 306 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:14,883 - No, that's enough, Gina. - Caresses. 307 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:17,151 I could see him showing up in a silk robe. 308 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:18,253 - That's enough, Gina. - All right. 309 00:11:18,254 --> 00:11:19,721 Thank you. 310 00:11:19,755 --> 00:11:22,156 Let the wasting of time begin. 311 00:11:24,326 --> 00:11:25,827 Hello, sir. 312 00:11:25,828 --> 00:11:27,195 Can we ask you a few questions? 313 00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:28,930 Definitely. Yeah. 314 00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:30,865 I'm actually... I'm super glad you guys are here right now. 315 00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:32,567 Are you smelling that weed smell? 316 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:33,701 Yeah. 317 00:11:33,702 --> 00:11:34,702 'Cause a dude broke in, 318 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,671 smoked weed, and bolted. 319 00:11:36,672 --> 00:11:38,039 It's... 320 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,540 Do you think it's the same dude 321 00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:41,276 that left that bong there on the floor? 322 00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,845 Yes. 323 00:11:43,879 --> 00:11:47,048 Police! 324 00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:49,217 - Hello. - Hello. 325 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,351 What's your name? 326 00:11:50,352 --> 00:11:51,619 - My name? - Mm-hmm. 327 00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,421 - Mlepnos. - Can you spell that, please? 328 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:58,259 M-l-e-p... 329 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,527 Clay. 330 00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:00,695 Did you say "Clay"? 331 00:12:00,696 --> 00:12:02,063 Yes, the "Clay" is silent. 332 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,798 All right, got it. 333 00:12:03,799 --> 00:12:07,235 Have you seen this man before? He was shot last night. 334 00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:09,971 Oh. Thank you. 335 00:12:09,972 --> 00:12:11,706 No, sir, that's ours. We need that. 336 00:12:11,707 --> 00:12:13,708 - We... - And he kept it. 337 00:12:13,709 --> 00:12:15,410 Wall Street journal on the doormat... 338 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,911 Top floor apartment. 339 00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:19,447 20 bucks says this guy's like a hot, eligible bachelor. 340 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:20,715 I'll take that action. 341 00:12:20,716 --> 00:12:23,651 Police! Open up! 342 00:12:23,652 --> 00:12:25,620 Hello. 343 00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:27,221 Oh! Hello, sir! 344 00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:28,623 How are you today? 345 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,258 I am Detective Right-All-The-Time, 346 00:12:30,259 --> 00:12:33,561 and this is my partner Detective Terrible Detective. 347 00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:36,965 No surprises from the coroner. 348 00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,666 A few gunshots, shoulder and chest. 349 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,835 None of the neighbors heard or saw anything. 350 00:12:40,836 --> 00:12:44,072 And what's worse, Santiago struck out with a 92-year-old. 351 00:12:44,106 --> 00:12:45,406 That is not accurate, sir. 352 00:12:45,441 --> 00:12:47,275 Wait, you hooked up with him? Ugh! 353 00:12:47,276 --> 00:12:49,077 All right, hit the pawn shops and canvass the neighborhood. 354 00:12:49,111 --> 00:12:50,511 And while you're out, you can buy yourself a tie. 355 00:12:50,512 --> 00:12:51,980 Oh, actually, sir... 356 00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,948 I'm wearing a tie right now. 357 00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:55,516 Check it out. 358 00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:57,919 Secret tie. 359 00:12:57,953 --> 00:12:59,287 First of all, I think you're kind of overdoing it 360 00:12:59,288 --> 00:13:00,688 with the manscaping. 361 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,156 But more importantly, Detective, 362 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,325 why do you refuse to take my orders seriously? 363 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,127 Does anyone here know why it's so important to me 364 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,763 that you all dress appropriately? 365 00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:11,017 Hmm. Four highly trained detectives 366 00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:13,368 and not one of you can solve this simple mystery. 367 00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:15,870 I wanna be briefed on any new developments. 368 00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:17,305 Any questions? 369 00:13:17,306 --> 00:13:18,639 I was gonna ask you if you thought I was doing 370 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,141 too much manscaping, but we solved that one. 371 00:13:20,142 --> 00:13:21,676 So I'm good. 372 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,011 Hey, Boyle. 373 00:13:23,045 --> 00:13:24,779 - Yep. - What about this fancy ham stuff? 374 00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:26,347 - Jamon Iberico. - Yes. 375 00:13:26,382 --> 00:13:27,782 The perp left a really expensive TV 376 00:13:27,783 --> 00:13:30,184 but then stole ham? It doesn't make sense. 377 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,687 Is there a place nearby the crime scene that sells it? 378 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,655 - Beneficio's might. - Let's go. 379 00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:36,157 You gotta brief the C.O. first. 380 00:13:36,158 --> 00:13:39,060 We'll brief him after we catch the guy. 381 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,197 My name is Ratko. I don't know anything. 382 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,699 Oh, okay. 383 00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:46,067 You recognize this guy? 384 00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:49,470 - Henry Morgenthau? - No. 385 00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:52,040 Maybe actually look at the picture. 386 00:13:52,074 --> 00:13:54,075 I don't know him. I don't know what happened. 387 00:13:54,076 --> 00:13:55,676 No more questions. 388 00:13:55,677 --> 00:13:57,478 Well, why don't I run a scenario past you, Ratko, 389 00:13:57,479 --> 00:13:58,813 and you tell me what you think? 390 00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:00,214 You do know Morgenthau. 391 00:14:00,249 --> 00:14:01,482 He came in here and tried to sell you some hams. 392 00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:02,683 You knew they were worth a lotta money, 393 00:14:02,684 --> 00:14:03,818 so you tried to steal them from him 394 00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:04,986 when he wasn't home. 395 00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:06,187 Only he was home, so you shot him. 396 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,256 Does that sound familiar? 397 00:14:08,257 --> 00:14:09,857 Uh, maybe some role play will jog your memory? 398 00:14:09,858 --> 00:14:11,025 - Great idea. - Okay, yeah. 399 00:14:11,026 --> 00:14:12,060 Okay. 400 00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:14,529 - So I'm... I'm Ratko. - No, no, I'm Ratko. 401 00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:16,097 Come on. I'm always the victim. 402 00:14:16,098 --> 00:14:17,732 Look, I'm doing this with you right here. 403 00:14:17,766 --> 00:14:18,900 Fine, fine. 404 00:14:18,934 --> 00:14:20,735 Oh! I'm Henry Morgenthau, 405 00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,371 owner of delicious and expensive hams. 406 00:14:23,372 --> 00:14:24,872 Don't I know you from the grocery store? 407 00:14:24,873 --> 00:14:27,108 Kill! And scene. 408 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,412 NYPD! Everyone down! 409 00:14:31,447 --> 00:14:32,880 Ma'am, if you could just get down, 410 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:34,682 or... ignore me and continue shopping. 411 00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:37,218 Boyle, get the door! On it! 412 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:39,954 Ratko! 413 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:43,291 Oh! 414 00:14:44,193 --> 00:14:46,427 Ow! 415 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:50,098 Ha ha ha! 416 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,003 Ow, Ratko, ow! 417 00:14:56,038 --> 00:14:57,238 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Ratko! 418 00:14:57,239 --> 00:14:58,306 I'm getting mad! 419 00:14:58,307 --> 00:14:59,841 That's a waste of manchego! 420 00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:01,209 Charles! 421 00:15:04,246 --> 00:15:06,714 How are you still here? Jake! 422 00:15:06,748 --> 00:15:08,249 Little help! 423 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,184 Ratko! He's not going anywhere, Jake! 424 00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:11,552 Ratko! 425 00:15:11,553 --> 00:15:13,054 I got him! I got him! 426 00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:16,324 Don't worry! 427 00:15:16,325 --> 00:15:19,227 So no, I did not brief you. 428 00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:20,995 And yes, he did get away. 429 00:15:20,996 --> 00:15:23,965 But some bonus good news... 430 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,234 I got you hazelnut. 431 00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:28,569 And... 432 00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:31,572 A little spoon there for you. 433 00:15:33,783 --> 00:15:35,187 Is he seriously assigning me 434 00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:36,689 to the records room? 435 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:38,524 I mean, why do we even have a records room? 436 00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:40,025 Computer's been invented, right? I didn't dream it? 437 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,460 You're lucky, man. 438 00:15:41,461 --> 00:15:43,963 I wish I could get assigned here full-time. 439 00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:47,666 You could not be farther from the action. 440 00:15:47,701 --> 00:15:49,868 Sergeant, you know me. I have more arrests than anyone. 441 00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:51,437 Will you please tell the Captain how dumb it is 442 00:15:51,438 --> 00:15:53,513 to lock his best Detective in a file cabinet? 443 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,607 Second best. You're wrong about Holt. 444 00:15:55,642 --> 00:15:57,009 That man has forgotten more about being a cop 445 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,178 than you will ever know. 446 00:15:59,179 --> 00:16:02,514 In 1981, he caught the disco strangler. 447 00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:06,118 It's over, disco man! 448 00:16:06,119 --> 00:16:09,021 Put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl. 449 00:16:11,224 --> 00:16:12,624 Wow. 450 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,961 The man is the real deal. You need to listen to him. 451 00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:17,629 Gonna be hard to win our bet 452 00:16:17,664 --> 00:16:19,398 when you're on the bench, Peralta. 453 00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:22,801 Although I did start a new category. 454 00:16:22,802 --> 00:16:24,436 "Murderers we let go." 455 00:16:24,471 --> 00:16:25,871 And look at that. 456 00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:28,607 You're winning. 457 00:16:28,641 --> 00:16:30,175 Have fun with your files. 458 00:16:30,176 --> 00:16:31,643 Yeah, you know what, I will have fun with my files. 459 00:16:31,644 --> 00:16:35,314 Have fun with your face! 460 00:16:35,315 --> 00:16:37,049 Slam! 461 00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:38,851 That was a slam. 462 00:16:41,955 --> 00:16:43,822 So what movie did you get us tickets to? 463 00:16:43,823 --> 00:16:45,257 Oh, well, just to be safe, 464 00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:47,559 I bought tickets to all of them. 465 00:16:47,594 --> 00:16:49,395 Just to be safe? What does that mean? 466 00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:52,164 I don't know, I didn't wanna mess up. 467 00:16:52,165 --> 00:16:54,900 Because you're sort of... Opinionated. 468 00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:57,036 You think I'm opinionated? Okay, here's an opinion for you. 469 00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:58,737 You're a bad judge of character 470 00:16:58,738 --> 00:17:00,873 and your shirt looks like vomit. 471 00:17:00,874 --> 00:17:03,142 So we can go see North by Northwest. 472 00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:04,309 We're not seeing a movie together. 473 00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:05,811 Good call. Smart. 474 00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:07,112 Keep it profesh. 475 00:17:18,191 --> 00:17:19,925 - Hey, Captain. - So you found something? 476 00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:21,560 Hey, I like the tie. 477 00:17:21,594 --> 00:17:23,962 If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 478 00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:25,531 Anyway, I think I got something good here. 479 00:17:25,532 --> 00:17:27,533 Turns out the name "Ratko" is made up. 480 00:17:27,534 --> 00:17:29,134 But I was digging through these files... 481 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,703 One of which I literally found in a spider web... 482 00:17:31,704 --> 00:17:33,238 And it turns out there were a bunch of references 483 00:17:33,239 --> 00:17:34,706 to a serbian thug, 484 00:17:34,707 --> 00:17:36,542 street names "the rat" and "the butcher," 485 00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:38,610 who's known to hang out at a storage unit 486 00:17:38,611 --> 00:17:41,647 near Boerum Park, which has red soil, 487 00:17:41,648 --> 00:17:45,517 hence, the muddy red footprint on Morgenthau's counter. 488 00:17:45,552 --> 00:17:48,128 That's fine work, Detective. 489 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,055 Thank you very much, sir. 490 00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:51,757 Testament to what can be achieved 491 00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:54,460 when you dress appropriately. 492 00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:56,462 Let's pound it out. 493 00:17:58,998 --> 00:18:02,668 You know what, such fine police work, 494 00:18:02,669 --> 00:18:04,703 let's share it with the whole team. 495 00:18:04,737 --> 00:18:07,239 Santiago! Boyle! Diaz! Get in here! 496 00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:08,941 Bring everyone! And a camera! 497 00:18:08,975 --> 00:18:12,329 That's not necessary. Oh, they're here! 498 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:14,980 Of the fine master Detective, Jake Peralta. 499 00:18:14,981 --> 00:18:16,014 Yeah, let's have a hand, everyone. 500 00:18:16,015 --> 00:18:18,317 - Give him a hand. - Yeah, nice! 501 00:18:19,686 --> 00:18:20,786 Looking good! 502 00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:22,254 Yeah. Thank you. 503 00:18:22,288 --> 00:18:24,189 No record of Ratko on the ledger. 504 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,724 Must've used cash. 505 00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:27,593 Well, I, for one, am just pumped 506 00:18:27,594 --> 00:18:29,495 to be on a stakeout with you, Captain. 507 00:18:29,496 --> 00:18:31,763 You know what my favorite thing about stakeouts is? 508 00:18:31,764 --> 00:18:34,166 Patrol guide says "no dress code." 509 00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:37,703 So I'm just the zip-up hoodie and my two best friends. 510 00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:39,338 Does he always talk this much? 511 00:18:39,339 --> 00:18:40,772 I just tune it out. 512 00:18:40,773 --> 00:18:42,241 It's like a white noise machine. 513 00:18:42,275 --> 00:18:44,343 Okay, first of all, that's racist. 514 00:18:44,377 --> 00:18:46,178 Secondly, Captain, 515 00:18:46,179 --> 00:18:48,614 Terry told me you caught the disco strangler. 516 00:18:48,615 --> 00:18:51,183 That's incredible. I've read that case. 517 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,018 With all due respect, sir, 518 00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:55,888 why'd it take you so long to get your first command? 519 00:18:55,889 --> 00:18:57,189 Because I'm gay. 520 00:18:57,190 --> 00:19:00,125 Ah. 521 00:19:00,126 --> 00:19:02,060 Seriously? 522 00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:03,695 I'm surprised you didn't know. 523 00:19:03,696 --> 00:19:06,965 I don't try to hide it. 524 00:19:11,504 --> 00:19:15,240 Did anyone else get a little bit of a gay vibe? 525 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:18,944 Manscaping. 526 00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:21,246 Damn! 527 00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,982 I am not a good Detective. 528 00:19:23,983 --> 00:19:25,851 Here. 529 00:19:25,852 --> 00:19:27,352 I feel bad that you spent all that money on the movie tickets. 530 00:19:27,387 --> 00:19:28,587 Why don't you just go to the movies with me? 531 00:19:28,588 --> 00:19:30,822 Nope. 532 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,493 Okay. 533 00:19:34,494 --> 00:19:36,228 Well, this is awkward. 534 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,030 It's not awkward. 535 00:19:38,031 --> 00:19:39,665 I like your company. 536 00:19:39,699 --> 00:19:44,002 You're sweet. 537 00:19:44,037 --> 00:19:45,504 When did you come out? 538 00:19:45,505 --> 00:19:47,206 About 25 years ago. 539 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,376 The NYPD was not ready for an openly gay Detective. 540 00:19:51,377 --> 00:19:53,278 But then the old guard died out. 541 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,514 Suddenly, they couldn't wait to show off the fact 542 00:19:55,515 --> 00:19:57,649 that they had a highly ranking gay officer. 543 00:19:57,684 --> 00:19:59,184 I made Captain. 544 00:19:59,185 --> 00:20:02,254 But they put me in a public affairs unit. 545 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,389 I was a good soldier. I helped recruitment. 546 00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:08,427 But all I ever really wanted was my own command. 547 00:20:08,428 --> 00:20:11,363 And now I finally got it. 548 00:20:11,364 --> 00:20:13,999 And I'm not gonna screw it up. 549 00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,735 Captain, I'm sorry. I... 550 00:20:16,736 --> 00:20:18,870 I feel like a jackass. 551 00:20:22,242 --> 00:20:25,010 But on the flip side, there's Ratko. 552 00:20:25,044 --> 00:20:27,379 Humility over. I'm amazing! 553 00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:35,461 Fantastic. 3,000 identical blue doors. 554 00:20:35,488 --> 00:20:37,579 Looks like we all got door duty. 555 00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:39,825 Ah, yeah. From before. 556 00:20:39,826 --> 00:20:43,611 Good one. You look great. 557 00:20:45,335 --> 00:20:46,999 Clear. 558 00:20:51,442 --> 00:20:53,338 Clear. 559 00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:05,484 Okay. 560 00:21:05,518 --> 00:21:06,885 Unbelievable! 561 00:21:06,919 --> 00:21:08,587 Un-believable! 562 00:21:19,198 --> 00:21:20,232 Ah. 563 00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:22,134 Ratko, great to see you. 564 00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:24,436 You can't stop me. 565 00:21:24,437 --> 00:21:25,837 I'm going. 566 00:21:25,872 --> 00:21:29,041 Actually, you're not going anywhere. 567 00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:30,776 'Cause if you take a look to your left, 568 00:21:30,777 --> 00:21:33,745 you'll see Detective's Boyle and Diaz. 569 00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,515 Right there is Detective Santiago. 570 00:21:36,549 --> 00:21:38,617 And behind you is Captain Holt. 571 00:21:38,618 --> 00:21:41,186 Point is... My team has you surrounded. 572 00:21:41,187 --> 00:21:43,422 Oh, my God, I just got the tie thing! 573 00:21:43,456 --> 00:21:45,390 Captain, I just figured it out. 574 00:21:45,425 --> 00:21:47,592 Maybe now's not the best time, Detective. 575 00:21:47,627 --> 00:21:49,127 It's a uniform! 576 00:21:49,128 --> 00:21:51,229 We're a team, and the tie is a part 577 00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:53,031 of that team's uniform, right? 578 00:21:53,066 --> 00:21:54,299 You ask Ratko what team? 579 00:21:54,334 --> 00:21:55,467 No, Ratko, shut up. 580 00:21:55,468 --> 00:21:56,868 It's important to you 581 00:21:56,869 --> 00:21:58,170 because you were kept off the team for so long. 582 00:21:58,171 --> 00:21:59,538 And now you're the coach, 583 00:21:59,539 --> 00:22:02,074 and you want us to all wear that same uniform. 584 00:22:02,075 --> 00:22:03,508 Boom! Nailed it! 585 00:22:03,509 --> 00:22:06,411 Yes, you did. Now just arrest Ratko. 586 00:22:06,412 --> 00:22:08,347 All right, Ratko, down. Drop the weapon. 587 00:22:08,348 --> 00:22:11,383 Hands on your head. Here we go. 588 00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:13,385 - Hey! - He's running! 589 00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,020 Oh! Got him! 590 00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:16,822 Hands behind your back! Hands behind your back! 591 00:22:16,823 --> 00:22:18,357 Stay down. 592 00:22:18,358 --> 00:22:20,659 That's how we do it in the nine-nine, sir. 593 00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:23,228 Catch bad guys and look good doing it. 594 00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,033 What's wrong with you? 595 00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:27,909 Never took off the speedo. Big mistake. 596 00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:30,479 It is inside me. Great work, team! 597 00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:37,079 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync for WEB-DL by Kosire www.addic7ed.com 598 00:22:37,425 --> 00:22:47,425 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.