1 00:00:01,955 --> 00:00:04,636 Hey, you guys see the dude I brought in today... 2 00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:07,034 The drug dealer? 81 years old. 3 00:00:07,035 --> 00:00:09,675 I think it's the oldest collar of my entire career. 4 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,934 I once arrested a 96-year-old for flashing. 5 00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:14,899 I was terrified he'd die in my backseat... 6 00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,294 Or flash me. 7 00:00:16,295 --> 00:00:19,631 My oldest collar was 78, but the PCP 8 00:00:19,632 --> 00:00:20,965 made her fight like she was 20. 9 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,500 What about two 50-year-old twins? 10 00:00:22,501 --> 00:00:23,835 Does that count as a 100-year-old? 11 00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:24,838 - (Amy) No good. - No. 12 00:00:24,839 --> 00:00:27,752 You talking oldest bags? 68. 13 00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:29,806 That's not that old. Yeah, but I was only 20. 14 00:00:29,807 --> 00:00:31,488 20? Were you even a cop then? 15 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,595 No, man, it was before I got into the academy. 16 00:00:34,596 --> 00:00:39,105 Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest. 17 00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:40,139 (All) Ew! 18 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,174 No... yes, I am. 19 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,976 Yeah, oldest arrest... 68, like I said. 20 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,978 God, you had sex with a 68-year-old 21 00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,346 when you were in your 20s? 22 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,648 You know how it is. 23 00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:49,685 When you have a chance to bed an older woman, you... 24 00:00:49,686 --> 00:00:52,686 No, that is not an older woman. That's an old woman! 25 00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:54,087 That's someone's grandma! 26 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,656 She was, actually. That's how I met her. 27 00:00:55,657 --> 00:00:57,627 Went to college with her grandson Marvin. 28 00:00:57,628 --> 00:00:59,530 Don't... don't knock it till you try it. 29 00:00:59,531 --> 00:01:01,766 She had a replacement hip with some serious torque. 30 00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,136 It was like having sex with a transformer. 31 00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:06,338 No. That is no one's fantasy. 32 00:01:06,339 --> 00:01:09,342 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync for WEB-DL by Kosire www.addic7ed.com/ 33 00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:22,214 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 34 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:28,311 Peralta... 35 00:01:28,312 --> 00:01:30,146 Where are we on the Lincoln place murder? 36 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:32,814 Well, like I told Captain Holt earlier this week, 37 00:01:32,815 --> 00:01:35,149 we are at the one-yard line. It's a football reference. 38 00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:37,784 Yes, Jake. I played linebacker at Syracuse. 39 00:01:37,818 --> 00:01:40,586 Really? In High School, I played center field 40 00:01:40,587 --> 00:01:42,120 in the musical damn Yankees. 41 00:01:42,154 --> 00:01:43,621 Yeah, you don't want to brag about that. 42 00:01:43,622 --> 00:01:45,656 Peralta, you want to loop everyone in? 43 00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,959 - Ehh... - That was not a request. 44 00:01:47,994 --> 00:01:49,996 Fine. 45 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:52,599 Get ready for some stuff on a screen. 46 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,968 Meet Fred Gorman... 47 00:01:54,969 --> 00:01:58,303 Prominent citizen, lawyer, corpse. 48 00:01:58,304 --> 00:02:00,638 Now meet his wife, Ann Hoert. 49 00:02:00,639 --> 00:02:02,440 She did not take his last name, 50 00:02:02,441 --> 00:02:04,476 but I believe she did take his life. 51 00:02:04,511 --> 00:02:06,110 - Nice. - Thank you, Charles. 52 00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:08,946 Now, Hoert had means, motives, and opportunity. 53 00:02:08,947 --> 00:02:10,648 I just need to find the murder weapon. 54 00:02:10,649 --> 00:02:12,783 For some reason, the D.A. won't move forward with the arrest 55 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,150 until we find the knife she used. 56 00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:16,285 Is that reason that they want to win the case? 57 00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:17,319 Yes. 58 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,954 Well, find it. 59 00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:20,288 The family's close to the mayor, 60 00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:21,991 and I'm catching heat from the higher-ups. 61 00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:23,258 I'm gonna ask you again. 62 00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:25,493 Do you need any resources or personnel? 63 00:02:25,528 --> 00:02:27,161 No, sir, I've got it. 64 00:02:27,196 --> 00:02:28,562 Okay. 65 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,297 Dismissed! 66 00:02:30,298 --> 00:02:31,665 Sergeant Jeffords, my office. 67 00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:32,899 Uh-oh. 68 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,500 He probably wants to talk to you 69 00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:36,501 about how your shirts aren't tight enough probably. 70 00:02:38,671 --> 00:02:40,705 Okay, how can we help? What do you need? 71 00:02:40,739 --> 00:02:41,973 I need nothing. 72 00:02:41,974 --> 00:02:44,675 I'm about to solve this case, meet the mayor, 73 00:02:44,676 --> 00:02:46,343 and sell my life rights to Channing Tatum 74 00:02:46,344 --> 00:02:47,744 so he can play my less attractive brother 75 00:02:47,745 --> 00:02:48,978 in the ensuing film. 76 00:02:49,013 --> 00:02:51,647 - Come on, Peralta, - Holt said to use the whole team. 77 00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:52,881 We all want this solved. 78 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:56,484 I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone... 79 00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:58,286 Except when it comes to sex. 80 00:02:58,287 --> 00:03:00,655 Actually, sometimes including sex. 81 00:03:00,656 --> 00:03:02,156 Will you just let us help? 82 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,390 Okay, fine. 83 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,091 I will let one of you help me... Charles. 84 00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:07,626 Yeah! 85 00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:09,427 And I am choosing Charles because he's the least likely 86 00:03:09,428 --> 00:03:10,795 to steal my thunder. 87 00:03:10,796 --> 00:03:12,764 I would never steal his thunder. 88 00:03:12,765 --> 00:03:15,599 I-I'd be afraid to borrow it. 89 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,468 Terry, I'd like you to accompany me to a gun range. 90 00:03:19,469 --> 00:03:21,637 You mean drive you there and wait outside... 91 00:03:21,638 --> 00:03:23,204 Far away from the guns. 92 00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:25,673 I spent eight years in the public affairs office, 93 00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:27,307 so my tactical skills are a little rusty. 94 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,742 I need some pointers. 95 00:03:28,743 --> 00:03:31,577 Sir, I haven't fired a weapon since the incident. 96 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,412 The mannequin incident... I'm familiar. 97 00:03:40,952 --> 00:03:44,220 Actually, there was an incident after that. 98 00:03:44,221 --> 00:03:45,354 Another incident? 99 00:03:49,024 --> 00:03:52,526 You got to cool it, man. 100 00:03:52,527 --> 00:03:54,194 I'm gonna get some candy. 101 00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:56,795 Sir, I may not be the man for the job. 102 00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:58,930 You used to be the precinct's champion marksman. 103 00:03:58,965 --> 00:04:00,598 I only want to take pointers from the best. 104 00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,500 So I'll keep it low-key. 105 00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:04,468 We'll go after work to a private range. 106 00:04:04,469 --> 00:04:06,069 No cops, no pressure. 107 00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:08,371 Blam! Blam, blam! 108 00:04:08,372 --> 00:04:09,939 Gun range. 109 00:04:09,973 --> 00:04:12,408 I told Gina she could join us. I want to get certified. 110 00:04:12,409 --> 00:04:14,442 There has been a ton of crime in my neighborhood, 111 00:04:14,443 --> 00:04:17,111 and the cops in my precinct are very bad. 112 00:04:17,145 --> 00:04:18,712 You live in our precinct. 113 00:04:18,747 --> 00:04:21,448 Yeah, I know. 114 00:04:21,482 --> 00:04:23,583 I know we've gone over this before, 115 00:04:23,617 --> 00:04:25,350 but I have to ask you again. 116 00:04:25,351 --> 00:04:27,485 Is there anywhere you can think of in that hallway 117 00:04:27,486 --> 00:04:28,919 where a knife could be hidden? 118 00:04:28,953 --> 00:04:32,155 Well, since I've already told you, like, three times, no, 119 00:04:32,156 --> 00:04:33,789 why don't I just record it? 120 00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:35,290 Then I don't have to say it again. 121 00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:38,759 The hallway, like all other hallways, 122 00:04:38,793 --> 00:04:41,594 does not have a secret knife-hiding place. 123 00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:43,496 All right, you want to hear it again? 124 00:04:43,497 --> 00:04:45,164 Idea for a novel... 125 00:04:45,165 --> 00:04:47,498 A mild-mannered doorman gets bitten on the penis 126 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,133 by a radioactive spider 127 00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,701 and becomes the world's greatest lover. 128 00:04:51,736 --> 00:04:53,236 No, don't stop it. I want to hear what happens. 129 00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:54,537 This is terrific. 130 00:04:54,538 --> 00:04:56,138 He saves the first lady, if you must know. 131 00:04:56,139 --> 00:04:58,539 Sounds compelling. 132 00:05:01,643 --> 00:05:02,642 Oh, boy. 133 00:05:02,643 --> 00:05:04,277 Well, hello. 134 00:05:04,311 --> 00:05:06,878 I heard you guys were making the rounds again. 135 00:05:06,912 --> 00:05:08,479 All right. 136 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,582 - This one's all you, tiger. - Come on! 137 00:05:12,918 --> 00:05:15,128 Police! 138 00:05:15,154 --> 00:05:16,788 Hey, ma'am. 139 00:05:16,822 --> 00:05:18,389 Thank God! Here, hold this. 140 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:21,325 The lasagna's burning. Okay. 141 00:05:21,326 --> 00:05:23,593 Get the dog, but don't let it touch the baby! 142 00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:28,266 Oh. Okay. Peralta. 143 00:05:28,298 --> 00:05:31,000 Yo, I looked at the photos of your victim on your desk. 144 00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:32,768 Is that Rosa? Tell her I said hi. 145 00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:34,103 The puncture wounds are similar 146 00:05:34,104 --> 00:05:35,571 to a case I had a while back. 147 00:05:35,572 --> 00:05:36,973 They aren't from a knife. 148 00:05:36,974 --> 00:05:38,207 I think it's something spiral, like a corkscrew. 149 00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:39,241 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 150 00:05:39,276 --> 00:05:40,976 Don't shush me. I'm helping you. 151 00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:42,344 No, no, I'm holding a baby. 152 00:05:42,345 --> 00:05:44,045 That was actually very helpful, thank you. 153 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,282 Uh-oh. You better get back here. Now. 154 00:05:53,955 --> 00:05:57,796 Oh! Hello, Peralta. 155 00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:00,799 No, no, no! 156 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,362 I don't know why you're so upset, man. 157 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,864 I'm the one who had to come to this backwater stink hole. 158 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,012 What's up, little man? 159 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,201 What's up? Feeling sexy? Huh? 160 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,536 Yeah, I feel sexy. 161 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:10,904 Yeah, you look sexy, man. You know I do. 162 00:06:10,905 --> 00:06:12,940 Watch out for that door. 163 00:06:14,276 --> 00:06:16,209 Yo, how much you bench, seriously? 164 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,378 Captain, please, please, pretty please 165 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,985 do not let him take over my case. 166 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,348 Major crimes is stepping in. Nothing I can do. 167 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,482 You're off the case. 168 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,850 I can't believe you're just rolling over 169 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,852 and giving my murder away to The Vulture. 170 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,387 We call him The Vulture because he swoops in 171 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,956 and solves cases that are almost solved 172 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,457 and takes the credit for himself. 173 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,040 Yes, Boyle, I put that together from context. 174 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,710 First of all, major crimes has jurisdiction 175 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,964 over any and all cases they want to take. 176 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,432 But more importantly, 177 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,601 you're the one who insisted on working alone. 178 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,770 I told you for weeks to use the squad, 179 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,938 and you refused. 180 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,406 I used them. 181 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,475 I mean, Rosa's the one who figured out the corkscrew. 182 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,944 And Charles caught a dog. 183 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,447 Oh, congratulations, Detective Boyle. 184 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:54,915 You should've involved him sooner. 185 00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,783 Turn over your files to Detective Pembroke. 186 00:06:56,818 --> 00:06:58,285 Sir, call him The Vulture. 187 00:06:58,286 --> 00:06:59,653 Giving him a name makes him human. 188 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,622 Turn over the files. 189 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,723 Fine. 190 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,958 But in protest, 191 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:08,028 I'm walking over there extremely slowly. 192 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,769 Thank you. 193 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,840 God! This is so boring! 194 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,542 For both of us. 195 00:07:21,543 --> 00:07:23,143 You know, before I solve this case, 196 00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:25,846 I'd like to thank you for doing all the super-easy work, 197 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,981 you know, the real Nancy Drew-level stuff. 198 00:07:28,016 --> 00:07:30,388 Oh, yeah? Did Nancy Drew solve a lot of murders? 199 00:07:30,418 --> 00:07:32,386 Yeah, she did... Murder on Ice, 200 00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,587 Recipe for Murder. 201 00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:35,155 Nancy was a wonderful Detective. 202 00:07:35,156 --> 00:07:36,323 I wanted to be her when I grew up. 203 00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:38,625 Thanks, Charles. That's helpful. 204 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,961 Hey! Should we take odds on how fast I'll solve this case? 205 00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:44,397 - Nope. - I mean, what was it with Diaz's last 206 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,699 "impossible" extortion case? 207 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,834 What was it, six hours? 208 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,836 That's because it was 98% solved. 209 00:07:49,871 --> 00:07:52,539 The last 2% is the hardest to get. 210 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,374 That's why they leave it in the milk. 211 00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:55,676 What? 212 00:07:55,677 --> 00:07:56,843 Oh! Wow! 213 00:07:56,878 --> 00:07:58,645 Looking good, Santiago. 214 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,280 You foxy ma. 215 00:08:00,315 --> 00:08:01,749 Go rot in hell. 216 00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:03,317 This is your fault. 217 00:08:04,786 --> 00:08:06,853 Thanks, champ. Good effort. 218 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,522 I got it from here. 219 00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:10,190 And, hey, you feel free to call me 220 00:08:10,191 --> 00:08:11,858 anytime you need me to come down here 221 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,182 and help powder that big white ass of yours. 222 00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:19,097 Well, that's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 223 00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,687 I hate The Vulture so much! 224 00:08:22,688 --> 00:08:25,957 Me too. But he's kind of hot. 225 00:08:25,991 --> 00:08:27,358 What? 226 00:08:27,359 --> 00:08:28,893 You can hate people and still think they're hot. 227 00:08:28,894 --> 00:08:30,428 Case in point, Manuel Noriega. 228 00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:32,997 You know what? I'm with you on this. 229 00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:34,162 Tonya Harding. 230 00:08:34,163 --> 00:08:36,433 - Yeah, she's thick. - Right? 231 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,402 - Always classy, Jake. - Mm-hmm. 232 00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:40,437 Sorry you got vultured. 233 00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:41,638 Happens to the best of us. 234 00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:42,940 On my count. 235 00:08:42,974 --> 00:08:44,796 One, two... 236 00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:46,910 Three! I got it from here! 237 00:08:46,911 --> 00:08:48,145 Yeah! 238 00:08:48,146 --> 00:08:50,013 Get up! Get up! Turn around! 239 00:08:51,249 --> 00:08:52,649 You have the right to remain silent. 240 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:53,951 Anything you say... 241 00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:56,153 Can and will be used against you in a court of law. 242 00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:57,354 Thanks, guys, I got it from here. 243 00:08:57,355 --> 00:08:58,856 Let's go. Beat it! 244 00:08:58,857 --> 00:09:00,924 Skim white chocolate macchiato for Charles. 245 00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:02,359 I got it from here. 246 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,561 I used a gift card for that! 247 00:09:04,562 --> 00:09:07,297 God, I just... I want to get back at him so bad! 248 00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:09,600 I wish I could throw his cell phone in the toilet 249 00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:12,102 or slash his tires... I don't know. 250 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:13,637 Or slash his gorgeous throat. 251 00:09:13,672 --> 00:09:15,806 I cannot figure you out. 252 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,341 Okay, I'm buying everyone drinks 253 00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:19,476 as long as we're here thinking of a revenge plan. 254 00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:21,544 Best idea gets 50 bucks. 255 00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:22,846 Throw 'em on out. 256 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,280 What if you called him from a hospital 257 00:09:24,281 --> 00:09:26,149 and said his whole family is dead? 258 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,817 Like, they died of cancer. 259 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,886 Charles, that is so dark. 260 00:09:29,887 --> 00:09:31,220 I'm putting it down. 261 00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:33,590 So my stance feels good, 262 00:09:33,591 --> 00:09:36,025 - but I'm still not hitting center. - All right. 263 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,094 Back your left foot up a hair. 264 00:09:38,095 --> 00:09:39,428 Like this? 265 00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:40,496 Mm, mm, mm! 266 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,231 No! Gina! We've been over this. 267 00:09:42,232 --> 00:09:43,866 Well, show me! 268 00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:47,937 Like, wrap your thick, muscular arms around me and... 269 00:09:47,938 --> 00:09:49,038 All right, look, 270 00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,707 hands here, stand up straight, chin forward. 271 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,009 Hold on, my nose itches. 272 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,443 Gina! 273 00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,879 When I lock my shooting arm, the other hand feels unstable. 274 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,581 Now, what stance am I supposed to be doing... 275 00:09:58,582 --> 00:09:59,949 Weaver or isosceles? 276 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,684 You guys did stances? Like, I'll be like... 277 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,819 Yeah, everybody does stances, Gina. 278 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,820 Listen, uh... Hey, all right, all right! 279 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,389 Look, hey, both you, just watch. 280 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,727 That's eight! He did it! 281 00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:14,930 That was only seven. 282 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,433 Why are you counting my shots? 283 00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,234 Are you trying to have me recertified? 284 00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:20,869 Yes. 285 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,504 If you make eight of ten shots, 286 00:10:22,505 --> 00:10:24,506 I can sign off on you carrying a gun again. 287 00:10:24,507 --> 00:10:26,041 Gina's here as an official witness, 288 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,242 and I thought it'd be easier for you 289 00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,377 in a no-pressure environment. 290 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,546 I can't believe you tricked me! 291 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,681 You're too good a cop to be shackled to a desk. 292 00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:36,551 You only have one hit until you get recertified. 293 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:39,755 So deep breath, huh? 294 00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:42,858 Take the final shot. 295 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,961 Don't overthink it. 296 00:10:45,962 --> 00:10:48,698 Just relax and breathe. 297 00:10:48,699 --> 00:10:51,133 Bring air into your lungs... 298 00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:53,302 Like you've done your whole life. 299 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,838 Oh, my God. 300 00:10:56,839 --> 00:10:59,574 Guys! How do you breathe? 301 00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:01,209 I forgot how to breathe! 302 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:04,679 Is it two in, one out? 303 00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:07,116 What if we wrap his motorcycle in plastic wrap 304 00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:09,184 and melt it with a hair dryer? 305 00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:11,854 Little trick I learned in gift basket making class. 306 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,022 All right. Here's what we're up to. 307 00:11:14,057 --> 00:11:17,259 Steal his kidney, burn down his house, 308 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,494 replace his aloe tissues with regular tissues. 309 00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:20,829 Thank you, Charles. You're welcome. 310 00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,864 Leave a dead cat in his cedar closet. 311 00:11:22,865 --> 00:11:25,534 He would have to own a cedar closet. 312 00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,536 He seems like he would. 313 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:29,872 Sneak into his apartment and burn popcorn in the microwave. 314 00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:32,241 Thank you, Charles. 315 00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:34,043 Uh, Scully asked for mashed potatoes, 316 00:11:34,044 --> 00:11:35,211 so I wrote that down. 317 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,480 Well, I hate to say it, but I think, by default, 318 00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:39,748 Charles' motorcycle idea is the winner. 319 00:11:39,749 --> 00:11:42,151 Yeah! Winning by default. 320 00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:43,452 Let's get into it. 321 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,120 Anybody know where The Vulture lives? 322 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,489 On third, right near here. How do you know that? 323 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,357 Chug 'em, boys. We're rolling! 324 00:11:50,392 --> 00:11:51,726 - Yes! 325 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:52,927 Take that, Vulture! 326 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,462 - Yeah. - Nice. 327 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,130 All right, give me your hair dryer. 328 00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:57,765 What? What are you talking about? 329 00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,234 Don't you carry one in your purse? 330 00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:01,769 Have you ever met a human woman? 331 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:03,838 There's a drugstore four blocks away... I'm on it. 332 00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,306 Oh, no. 333 00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,509 Scully traveling four blocks? 334 00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,544 That could take weeks. 335 00:12:10,546 --> 00:12:11,980 Hoo! 336 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,281 Take the shot, sergeant. 337 00:12:13,282 --> 00:12:14,716 I just need a second. 338 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:16,951 You've had 18 minutes of seconds. 339 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:22,223 Gina's authentic stolen police badges. 340 00:12:22,224 --> 00:12:23,592 How can I help? 341 00:12:23,593 --> 00:12:25,427 - Hey, it's Peralta. - Oh, hey, Jake. 342 00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:27,429 Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse? 343 00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:29,264 Of course. I'm not an animal. 344 00:12:29,298 --> 00:12:31,399 Great. 345 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,801 I need you to bring it to The Vulture's apartment. 346 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,169 There's someone named "The Vulture"? 347 00:12:34,203 --> 00:12:36,271 Tell Rosa. She'd be into that. 348 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:37,639 Come on! 349 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,875 Peralta, why are you asking Gina about Detective Pembroke? 350 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:41,610 Oh, Captain, hello. 351 00:12:41,611 --> 00:12:45,280 Uh, we are preparing him a gift basket of sorts. 352 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,049 Look, I understand that you're upset. 353 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,051 But if you want to keep this from happening again, 354 00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:51,186 I suggest that you pull your team together 355 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,923 and solve these cases before major crimes can step in. 356 00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:56,391 Am I clear? 357 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:59,528 Yes, sir. That is definitely clear. 358 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,098 Thank you, sir. 359 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,333 You should be frowning. 360 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,869 Why is Jake smi... Why are you smiling? 361 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,772 Because the Captain just gave us the perfect revenge plan. 362 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:12,741 We team up and solve this case right now! 363 00:13:12,742 --> 00:13:14,309 That is not what he meant. 364 00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:15,878 Think about it, Amy. 365 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,212 We go back to the scene of the crime, 366 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,381 find the murder weapon, and out-vulture The Vulture! 367 00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:21,617 No one gets in trouble if we crack the case. 368 00:13:21,618 --> 00:13:23,616 Okay, screw it. I'm in. 369 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,454 Yes! That's right! All right. 370 00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:27,412 We're angry. We're getting revenge. 371 00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:28,758 We're a little bit tipsy. 372 00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:30,498 We should not be driving. We're taking the bus. 373 00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:32,806 I love the bus! 374 00:13:36,311 --> 00:13:38,980 So the waitress heard the couple arguing at dinner. 375 00:13:38,981 --> 00:13:40,481 Apparently he was having an affair, 376 00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:42,450 and it was not the first time. 377 00:13:42,451 --> 00:13:44,886 Two years ago, she caught him with a dog walker 378 00:13:44,887 --> 00:13:47,922 who was walking his dog, if you know what I mean. 379 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,057 - I do. - Right? 380 00:13:49,058 --> 00:13:50,391 - Yes, I got it. - Sex times. 381 00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:52,627 - Mm-hmm. - Anyways, we know it's the wife. 382 00:13:52,661 --> 00:13:55,096 You're real talkative now that you want our help. 383 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,732 All right, it is possible 384 00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:00,001 that I should've brought you guys in sooner. 385 00:14:00,002 --> 00:14:01,669 But I just get so excited, 386 00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:03,604 wrapped up in wanting to solve stuff, you know? 387 00:14:03,605 --> 00:14:05,706 I get it. You want to be the best. 388 00:14:05,707 --> 00:14:07,642 We all do. 389 00:14:07,643 --> 00:14:11,679 You just don't have to be such a butthead about it. 390 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:12,863 What? 391 00:14:12,864 --> 00:14:14,482 I just can't believe you would call me a butthead. 392 00:14:14,483 --> 00:14:16,051 - Shut up. - That's so harsh. 393 00:14:19,389 --> 00:14:23,491 Hitchcock farts nonstop. 394 00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:25,560 Still waiting, sergeant. 395 00:14:25,561 --> 00:14:28,296 It's just the target looks exactly like a friend of mine. 396 00:14:28,297 --> 00:14:29,630 It's just freaking me out. 397 00:14:29,664 --> 00:14:31,465 - You have a friend... 398 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,301 - Who's just a silhouette? - Yes. 399 00:14:33,335 --> 00:14:35,337 Let's all just count to a million. 400 00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:36,805 One, two, three, four, five, six... 401 00:14:36,839 --> 00:14:40,075 So then Iceman says, "You can be my wingman any day." 402 00:14:40,076 --> 00:14:42,678 And then Maverick says... I've seen the film, sergeant. 403 00:14:42,679 --> 00:14:44,379 I haven't. What happens next? 404 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,715 Goose comes back, right? He's not really dead. 405 00:14:48,184 --> 00:14:49,885 Goose is gone. 406 00:14:49,919 --> 00:14:51,286 - No! - I know! 407 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,055 All right, here's how it went down. 408 00:14:53,089 --> 00:14:55,457 9:45, a man screams. 409 00:14:55,492 --> 00:14:58,127 90 seconds later, wife goes down to the doorman, 410 00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:00,929 says a guy murdered her husband and then ran off. 411 00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:02,564 We know she's lying. 412 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,032 We've just got to find the corkscrew 413 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:05,534 to make our case airtight. 414 00:15:05,568 --> 00:15:08,070 I say we role-play, see if something sparks. 415 00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:09,905 Darling, thank you for a lovely dinner. 416 00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:12,408 Perhaps we should have one more drink before bed. 417 00:15:12,409 --> 00:15:14,810 Don't you "darling" me, you philanderer. 418 00:15:14,811 --> 00:15:17,279 No, you're the husband. The husband had the affair. 419 00:15:17,313 --> 00:15:18,847 I'm always the victim. I don't want to be the victim. 420 00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:20,416 Okay, Charles is the door. 421 00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,384 No. I'll be the victim. Don't make me a door again. 422 00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:25,086 Great. Okay, so... Wife goes into the drawer. 423 00:15:25,087 --> 00:15:28,656 Gets the corkscrew. Stab, stab, stab. 424 00:15:28,691 --> 00:15:30,225 What did she do with the corkscrew? 425 00:15:30,226 --> 00:15:31,559 She dumps it in the hallway trash chute 426 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,760 on the way to the doorman. 427 00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:34,395 No, we checked the trash, like, ten times. 428 00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:36,064 We would've seen a bloody corkscrew. 429 00:15:36,098 --> 00:15:37,832 All right, Hitchcock, you're up. 430 00:15:40,403 --> 00:15:42,370 The body. 431 00:15:42,371 --> 00:15:44,673 The corkscrew's still in the body. 432 00:15:44,707 --> 00:15:46,408 No, you're terrible at this. Go sit down. 433 00:15:46,442 --> 00:15:47,709 You're up, Diaz. 434 00:15:47,743 --> 00:15:49,677 Stab! 435 00:15:49,678 --> 00:15:51,379 Then I... 436 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,781 Toss the corkscrew out the window, 437 00:15:52,782 --> 00:15:54,082 and it lands on a passing car. 438 00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:56,385 Security cam showed no one driving by at that time 439 00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:57,686 and nothing on the street. 440 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,722 Okay, I want in. But I only want to stab you. 441 00:16:00,723 --> 00:16:03,024 Fine. Charles, door. 442 00:16:03,059 --> 00:16:04,626 Right. 443 00:16:06,329 --> 00:16:08,630 Okay, uh, sweetheart. 444 00:16:08,664 --> 00:16:09,731 Time to die. 445 00:16:09,732 --> 00:16:11,566 That seems a little harsh. 446 00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:14,402 What if it was a magnetic corkscrew? 447 00:16:15,671 --> 00:16:18,039 If the corkscrew was on a magnet... 448 00:16:18,073 --> 00:16:20,007 It's stuck halfway down the inside of the trash chute. 449 00:16:20,008 --> 00:16:21,342 I figured it out first! 450 00:16:21,343 --> 00:16:22,510 Wow! 451 00:16:22,511 --> 00:16:23,978 What's happening? 452 00:16:23,979 --> 00:16:25,847 You have a ten-pound flashlight in your purse, 453 00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:28,316 but not a hair dryer? 454 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:30,152 I can't see far enough down. 455 00:16:30,153 --> 00:16:31,620 Someone's gonna have to go down in there. 456 00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:34,088 Someone with narrow shoulders. 457 00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:35,623 No! I have broad shoulders. 458 00:16:35,624 --> 00:16:39,293 I have narrow hips, but broad shoulders. 459 00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:41,296 God! 460 00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:42,597 See anything? 461 00:16:42,598 --> 00:16:44,299 A little lower. 462 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,668 Freeze! Hands in the air! 463 00:16:46,669 --> 00:16:47,936 Ahh! 464 00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,671 We're cops. Broad shoulders! 465 00:16:49,705 --> 00:16:52,707 Stuck! Told you... Broad shoulders. 466 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:55,443 Apparently, our Detective squad has gotten drunk, 467 00:16:55,444 --> 00:16:56,911 compromised the crime scene, 468 00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:59,447 and an officer has gotten stuck in a trash chute. 469 00:16:59,481 --> 00:17:01,749 I need you to lead this squad, Terry. 470 00:17:01,784 --> 00:17:03,017 And I mean really lead it. 471 00:17:05,888 --> 00:17:08,156 I hope you take the shot. 472 00:17:08,191 --> 00:17:10,258 What kind of precinct are you running here? 473 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:11,559 Would you like to sit down, Detective? 474 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,561 You seem upset. Hell yeah, I'm upset. 475 00:17:13,596 --> 00:17:16,031 Your team disrupted a crime scene 476 00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:19,668 over which they have zero... Zero jurisdiction. 477 00:17:19,702 --> 00:17:20,936 They were publicly drunk. 478 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,537 Apparently one of them pressed 479 00:17:22,538 --> 00:17:24,806 all the buttons on the elevator. 480 00:17:24,807 --> 00:17:26,508 Only, maybe he just bumped up against the panel 481 00:17:26,509 --> 00:17:27,642 with that big white ass of his. 482 00:17:27,676 --> 00:17:30,011 What now? Holt is gonna kill you. 483 00:17:30,046 --> 00:17:31,346 I don't think he will... 484 00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:32,781 Because... 485 00:17:32,815 --> 00:17:34,382 Voila! 486 00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:36,218 You actually found the corkscrew in the trash chute? 487 00:17:36,252 --> 00:17:38,920 Stuck to the side, just like you said. 488 00:17:38,955 --> 00:17:41,990 Boyle, we're pulling you out! 489 00:17:46,863 --> 00:17:49,365 This is the proudest moment of my career. 490 00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,666 Ah! 491 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:54,003 Oh, my God, you guys, we out-vultured The Vulture! 492 00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:56,873 What the hell was that? 493 00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:58,307 What? It's a vulture. 494 00:17:58,342 --> 00:18:00,376 Now, if you'll excuse me, 495 00:18:00,377 --> 00:18:02,746 I'm gonna take this corkscrew over to the D.A. 496 00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:05,382 So we get the collar, not major crimes. 497 00:18:05,383 --> 00:18:07,951 Peralta! Now. 498 00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:12,022 Okay. 499 00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:13,690 - Before you get mad... - Shut it! 500 00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:14,758 Holt was right. 501 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:16,025 I've been so worried about my own kids, 502 00:18:16,026 --> 00:18:18,061 I forgot about my stupid grown-up kids. 503 00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:19,562 That's insulting. 504 00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,097 I should've been on you guys more. 505 00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:23,800 And starting now, I will be. 506 00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:26,169 But if you ever do this again, 507 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,906 I swear I will crush your head in one hand. 508 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,574 - You don't mean that. - Try me. 509 00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:32,209 Okay. 510 00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:35,379 Where you going? 511 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:36,747 The boss is taking heat 512 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,515 for something that's not even his fault. 513 00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:40,217 I can't let that happen. 514 00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:42,719 Wait. Damn it. 515 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,355 Look, it's not your fault either. 516 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:49,526 And it's not The Vulture's fault. 517 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:50,794 It's Amy's. 518 00:18:50,795 --> 00:18:52,162 I know. I know. It's mine. 519 00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:53,764 It's mine, okay? 520 00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:56,366 God, I do not love how this worked out. 521 00:18:58,136 --> 00:18:59,937 Detective Pembroke. 522 00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:01,271 Now what? 523 00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:03,073 I'd like to cordially invite you to calm down, 524 00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:04,675 especially considering that this case 525 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,244 has already been solved... 526 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,612 By you! 527 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,534 Looks like you found the murder weapon. 528 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,984 It's a good thing you realized it was magnetically stuck 529 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,352 to the inside of the trash chute. 530 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,320 Congratulations. 531 00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,690 Cracked the case all by yourself. 532 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,025 We done here? 533 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,531 Yeah. Yeah, we're done here. 534 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,401 Hey, keep up the bad work, champ. 535 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,404 Here it comes. 536 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,621 Why does he keep touching my butt? 537 00:19:36,344 --> 00:19:38,779 - Stay foxy. - Die lonely. 538 00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:41,515 Well, case closed. Good work, everyone. 539 00:19:41,516 --> 00:19:43,850 Let's, uh, call it a night without any further discussion. 540 00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:45,285 No! 541 00:19:45,286 --> 00:19:46,820 All of you broke into a crime scene 542 00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,455 under the influence of alcohol, 543 00:19:48,456 --> 00:19:51,291 overstepped your jurisdiction, and disobeyed my direct orders. 544 00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:53,560 Everyone involved tonight is gonna get written up. 545 00:19:53,594 --> 00:19:55,161 Okay, fine. 546 00:19:55,162 --> 00:19:57,230 Here's everyone who was there. 547 00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:59,665 Jake Peralta, J. Peralta, 548 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,334 Dr. Jacob Peralta, 549 00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:03,402 who has a PhD in slow-jam studies 550 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,438 from Funktown State University, 551 00:20:05,439 --> 00:20:08,808 also involved was the right honorable J... okay, enough. 552 00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:11,010 My point is it was a Peralta special, sir. 553 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,212 No one else was there. 554 00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:14,915 Well, Detective, I'm happy to see 555 00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,551 you're learning how to be part of a team. 556 00:20:17,585 --> 00:20:21,120 Everybody go home. Sleep it off. 557 00:20:22,189 --> 00:20:25,325 Sir? Thank you. 558 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,927 Ultimately, it was our raw sexual chemistry 559 00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:30,963 that helped him overcome his crippling fear. 560 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:33,299 You should just stay in the office all day every day 561 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,735 and be my bestie. 562 00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:38,738 You could join my dance troupe, Floorgasm. 563 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,207 We're looking for a man of precisely your... 564 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,577 It's gonna be a long road, 565 00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,679 but I'm ready to get myself back in the game. 566 00:20:46,714 --> 00:20:47,780 I know you will. 567 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,049 I mean, eventually... 568 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,251 Not tonight. 569 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,019 I need to go hug my baby girls. 570 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,322 Excuse me. 571 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,892 Jake, I have to say, the way you handled things 572 00:20:59,893 --> 00:21:01,894 with The Vulture yesterday was very mature. 573 00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,563 Well, sometimes in life, 574 00:21:03,564 --> 00:21:05,598 you just have to take the high road. 575 00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:07,199 Oop! Time's up! 576 00:21:07,234 --> 00:21:09,101 - Can't wait to see it. - Ah, here we go. 577 00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,070 - That's good suction. - Oh! 578 00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:12,571 Ooh! 579 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:13,705 Check it out! 580 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,374 - Perfect, right? - Yeah! 581 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:19,044 "Dear Vulture, 582 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:23,114 "enjoy my big white ass. 583 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,382 Jake." 584 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:26,017 Here you are. 585 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,686 Always take the high road, Charles. 586 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,254 Always take the high road. 587 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:35,201 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD Resync for WEB-DL by Kosire www.addic7ed.com/ 588 00:21:36,445 --> 00:21:46,445 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.