1 00:00:03,259 --> 00:00:07,677 Ant... ant... ant... 2 00:00:03,259 --> 00:00:07,677 God, they're everywhere. 3 00:00:07,802 --> 00:00:11,176 Are we sure that 4 00:00:07,802 --> 00:00:11,176 we've cleaned up all the food? 5 00:00:11,301 --> 00:00:12,677 Why is everyone looking at us? 6 00:00:12,802 --> 00:00:14,718 We're the ones 7 00:00:12,802 --> 00:00:14,718 who eat up all the crumbs. 8 00:00:14,844 --> 00:00:16,468 Yeah, we're the solution. 9 00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,092 Well, there are no ants 10 00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,092 on my desk 11 00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:19,677 because I sanitize it daily. 12 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,426 - What do you call that? 13 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,426 - Ah! Those are your ants! 14 00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:25,760 They're using a monitor cable 15 00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:25,760 as a land bridge. 16 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,510 Now they're destroying 17 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,510 our technology. 18 00:00:28,635 --> 00:00:30,092 This is an invasion. 19 00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:32,551 They're in my yogurt. 20 00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:32,551 Now it's personal. 21 00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:34,927 All right, that's it. 22 00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:34,927 We have gotta fight back. 23 00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:36,635 This is our planet! 24 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,259 Just use Boyle's cologne. 25 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,259 It's repulsive to everything. 26 00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:40,844 Ah! Not cool. 27 00:00:40,969 --> 00:00:42,677 You're going to Penn Station 28 00:00:40,969 --> 00:00:42,677 to buy me a new one. 29 00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:45,343 - The ant infestation? 30 00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:45,343 - It's bad. They bite now, sir. 31 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:47,844 I think they're just trying 32 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:47,844 to avoid the cold weather. 33 00:00:47,968 --> 00:00:49,384 We should freeze them out. 34 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:55,050 - The plan is working, Captain. 35 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:55,050 - Yes, we won. 36 00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:57,176 Oh my God. They're in the coats. 37 00:00:57,301 --> 00:00:59,092 They're in our coats! 38 00:01:20,927 --> 00:01:24,802 I don't want Sophia to know 39 00:01:20,927 --> 00:01:24,802 that I'm waiting for her, so... 40 00:01:24,927 --> 00:01:27,259 Should we pretend to have 41 00:01:24,927 --> 00:01:27,259 a heated argument that I win? 42 00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:29,844 Oh, or better yet: 43 00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:29,844 A physical contest that I win. 44 00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,217 What's going on? 45 00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,343 I thought things were good 46 00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,343 with you two. 47 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,176 Jake. Did you do something dumb? 48 00:01:35,301 --> 00:01:37,760 That's a good question, 49 00:01:35,301 --> 00:01:37,760 but actually I don't think so. 50 00:01:37,885 --> 00:01:39,844 It's been a little weird lately. 51 00:01:37,885 --> 00:01:39,844 She's acting distant. 52 00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:42,510 - Have you talked to her? 53 00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:42,510 - I don't wanna seem desperate. 54 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:45,384 - Talking to her is desperate? 55 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:45,384 - Well, it's not breezy. 56 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:47,718 Jake? 57 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:47,718 Hey. 58 00:01:47,844 --> 00:01:51,009 - What are you guys doing here? 59 00:01:47,844 --> 00:01:51,009 - Oh, just arguing about America. 60 00:01:51,134 --> 00:01:52,760 You know Sarge doesn't think 61 00:01:51,134 --> 00:01:52,760 we should've given women 62 00:01:52,885 --> 00:01:53,844 the right to vote? 63 00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,551 That is not true. 64 00:01:55,677 --> 00:01:57,217 You say that now 65 00:01:55,677 --> 00:01:57,217 that she's here. 66 00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:59,551 Now that we've accidentally 67 00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:59,551 bumped into each other, 68 00:01:59,677 --> 00:02:00,760 wanna hang out tonight? 69 00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:02,426 Oh, I can't. I have that event 70 00:02:02,551 --> 00:02:04,009 for The Association of The 71 00:02:02,551 --> 00:02:04,009 Brooklyn Public Defenders. 72 00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:05,635 Remember, you called it 73 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,426 "Satan's Charity Ball: 74 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,426 Rise of the Demons"? 75 00:02:07,551 --> 00:02:08,677 Oh yeah. 76 00:02:08,802 --> 00:02:11,551 - Defense attorneys are monsters. 77 00:02:08,802 --> 00:02:11,551 - Oh. 78 00:02:11,677 --> 00:02:13,677 Except for you. No, you're fine. 79 00:02:13,802 --> 00:02:15,217 Oh, that's so sweet. 80 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,050 - Nice, right? 81 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,050 - But I have a minute right now. 82 00:02:17,176 --> 00:02:18,426 You wanna take a walk 83 00:02:17,176 --> 00:02:18,426 in the park? 84 00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,217 A walk in the park. 85 00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,217 How romantic. 86 00:02:20,343 --> 00:02:21,760 I know where 87 00:02:20,343 --> 00:02:21,760 all the murder spots are. 88 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,677 Do you want to see them 89 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,677 or avoid them? 90 00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:25,092 The choice is yours, m'lady. 91 00:02:25,217 --> 00:02:27,176 Terry, don't wait up. 92 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:28,844 - It's 10 a.m. 93 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:28,844 - Yep. 94 00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:32,468 Deputy Chief Wuntch 95 00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:32,468 is here to see you. 96 00:02:32,593 --> 00:02:34,384 Oh, please stay, Diaz. 97 00:02:32,593 --> 00:02:34,384 I need a witness 98 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:36,009 in case her head 99 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:36,009 starts spinning around 100 00:02:36,134 --> 00:02:37,468 or she turns into a she-wolf. 101 00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:38,968 Hello, Raymond. 102 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,176 No flaccid rejoinder? 103 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,176 Hmm. What's going on? 104 00:02:42,301 --> 00:02:44,301 I'm here on important business. 105 00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:46,844 I'm a frontrunner for a job 106 00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:46,844 in the Boston PD. 107 00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:49,176 Boston? 108 00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:49,176 But it's so close to Salem. 109 00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,301 Don't you know what they do 110 00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,301 to witches there? 111 00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:54,134 - This is amazing. 112 00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:54,134 - The job is Chief of Police. 113 00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:58,092 - I see. So you've come to brag. 114 00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:58,092 - No. 115 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,760 The only blemish on my record 116 00:03:01,884 --> 00:03:03,884 is our long history 117 00:03:01,884 --> 00:03:03,884 of interpersonal turbulence. 118 00:03:04,008 --> 00:03:07,301 The Boston commissioner wants 119 00:03:04,008 --> 00:03:07,301 to speak with you about it. 120 00:03:08,217 --> 00:03:10,468 I've come to ask for your help. 121 00:03:10,593 --> 00:03:12,050 The commissioner 122 00:03:10,593 --> 00:03:12,050 will be calling... 123 00:03:12,176 --> 00:03:14,384 Wait. Shh... 124 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,677 Oh. Moment savored. 125 00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:20,008 So, where were we? 126 00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:20,008 Ah yes, you were talking 127 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,677 about how I hold your fate 128 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,677 in the palm of my hand. 129 00:03:24,384 --> 00:03:25,968 Oopsie. 130 00:03:26,092 --> 00:03:27,426 Oh my God. 131 00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:30,677 Oh, I'm sorry. 132 00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:30,677 I lost my balance. 133 00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:33,384 You think I'm bothered 134 00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:33,384 by a little spilled milkshake? 135 00:03:33,510 --> 00:03:35,510 I'm a food blogger, 136 00:03:33,510 --> 00:03:35,510 I'm stained all over. 137 00:03:35,635 --> 00:03:37,718 Okay, what is going on 138 00:03:35,635 --> 00:03:37,718 with you two? 139 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,009 You know how our parents 140 00:03:39,134 --> 00:03:40,176 have been tender-sexing 141 00:03:39,134 --> 00:03:40,176 each other? 142 00:03:40,301 --> 00:03:42,217 - Ew. 143 00:03:40,301 --> 00:03:42,217 - Precisely, Amy. Ew. 144 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:44,259 Boyle and I made a pact 145 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:44,259 to break them up, 146 00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:47,301 and now this sticky little gummy 147 00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:47,301 bear is backing out. 148 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,635 Look, I know you don't want 149 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,635 our lives intertwined, 150 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:50,884 but things have changed. 151 00:03:51,009 --> 00:03:52,843 My father wants 152 00:03:51,009 --> 00:03:52,843 to marry your mom. 153 00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:57,092 So you choose your dad over me, 154 00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:57,092 your coworker who hates you. 155 00:03:57,217 --> 00:03:58,593 Papa's a gentleman. 156 00:03:58,718 --> 00:04:00,176 He won't propose 157 00:03:58,718 --> 00:04:00,176 until he gets Gina's blessing 158 00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:01,635 and she won't give it to him. 159 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,551 Who says "papa"? 160 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,551 Are you a little French boy? 161 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:04,884 Oh ho-ho-ho. 162 00:04:05,009 --> 00:04:06,343 I think maybe I can help. 163 00:04:06,468 --> 00:04:09,259 I took a seminar 164 00:04:06,468 --> 00:04:09,259 on conflict resolution and... 165 00:04:11,677 --> 00:04:15,217 I have been waiting weeks 166 00:04:11,677 --> 00:04:15,217 to bust this bad boy out. 167 00:04:15,343 --> 00:04:18,343 Mm. New binder smell. 168 00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:19,843 Amy don't do this. 169 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,092 I'm gonna throw 170 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,092 a milkshake in your face. 171 00:04:24,259 --> 00:04:26,801 This is nice. 172 00:04:24,259 --> 00:04:26,801 I feel like old people. 173 00:04:26,926 --> 00:04:28,551 Should we sit here? 174 00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,384 Um, Jake, there's something 175 00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,384 I want to talk to you about. 176 00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,759 So, my boss 177 00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,759 hasn't been assigning me 178 00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:36,259 any of the good cases, 179 00:04:36,384 --> 00:04:38,092 and I found out it's because 180 00:04:36,384 --> 00:04:38,092 I'm dating a cop. 181 00:04:38,217 --> 00:04:42,635 - What? Did he actually say that? 182 00:04:38,217 --> 00:04:42,635 - No, but my colleagues did. 183 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:45,635 You know, everybody I work with 184 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:45,635 thinks of cops as the enemy. 185 00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:48,843 That's crazy. They're the enemy. 186 00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:48,843 I see what you mean. 187 00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:50,426 Jake, I really like you, 188 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,718 but my job's really important 189 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,718 to me, too. 190 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:56,759 - Can we press pause on this? 191 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:56,759 - Press pause? 192 00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:59,134 Just until I figure out 193 00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:59,134 what to do with my boss. 194 00:04:59,259 --> 00:05:03,343 - Is that okay? 195 00:04:59,259 --> 00:05:03,343 - This is just about your boss? 196 00:05:03,468 --> 00:05:05,134 Yes, let's press pause. 197 00:05:05,259 --> 00:05:07,092 Let's pause 198 00:05:05,259 --> 00:05:07,092 the hell out of this. 199 00:05:07,217 --> 00:05:08,510 Let's pause this like I pause 200 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:10,217 Jamie Lee Curtis 201 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:10,217 in Trading Places. 202 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,050 I haven't seen that, 203 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,050 but I'm assuming she's naked. 204 00:05:12,176 --> 00:05:13,635 Mm-hmm. 205 00:05:13,759 --> 00:05:16,343 "Pause" seems bad, Jake. 206 00:05:13,759 --> 00:05:16,343 Why aren't you more upset? 207 00:05:16,468 --> 00:05:19,217 Sophia's problem isn't with me, 208 00:05:16,468 --> 00:05:19,217 it's with her dumb boss. 209 00:05:19,343 --> 00:05:22,176 That's something I can fix. 210 00:05:19,343 --> 00:05:22,176 I'm gonna make him like me. 211 00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,510 Here is the target... 212 00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,510 Geoffrey Hoytsman. 213 00:05:24,635 --> 00:05:26,510 Now, according to the Internet, 214 00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:28,343 his interests are 215 00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:28,343 skiing, his terrier, 216 00:05:28,468 --> 00:05:30,801 Atlantic City, the film 217 00:05:28,468 --> 00:05:30,801 12 Years a Slave, and nature. 218 00:05:30,926 --> 00:05:32,384 Obviously nature is super boring 219 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,635 and the slave film 220 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,635 is a little bit dicey. 221 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,301 - It's real dicey. 222 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,301 - Yeah. 223 00:05:36,426 --> 00:05:39,176 So I will focus mainly 224 00:05:36,426 --> 00:05:39,176 on skiing and Atlantic City 225 00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:41,050 when I talk to him tonight 226 00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:41,050 at the fundraiser 227 00:05:41,176 --> 00:05:42,926 for The Association 228 00:05:41,176 --> 00:05:42,926 of Brooklyn Public Defenders, 229 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:45,551 aka The Chamber of Asses. 230 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,884 No, wait. That's too sexy. 231 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,884 The Chamber of Snakes. 232 00:05:48,008 --> 00:05:49,176 Anyway, it starts at eight, 233 00:05:49,301 --> 00:05:51,008 so you should probably 234 00:05:49,301 --> 00:05:51,008 get dressed. 235 00:05:51,134 --> 00:05:54,301 - What? I am not going to that. 236 00:05:51,134 --> 00:05:54,301 - Please, Sarge. Just come. 237 00:05:54,426 --> 00:05:56,259 Do it for me. Do it for love. 238 00:05:56,384 --> 00:05:59,343 Damn, Jake. 239 00:05:56,384 --> 00:05:59,343 You know Terry loves love. 240 00:05:59,468 --> 00:06:00,635 - I'm in. 241 00:05:59,468 --> 00:06:00,635 - All right! 242 00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:02,259 Now put on your phoniest smile 243 00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:04,717 'cause we're going into the 244 00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:04,717 belly of the beast. 245 00:06:04,843 --> 00:06:07,259 Phonier... Phonier! 246 00:06:07,384 --> 00:06:09,468 Ah, there it is. Into the beast! 247 00:06:21,843 --> 00:06:23,801 All of our worst enemies 248 00:06:21,843 --> 00:06:23,801 are here. 249 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,968 Brown hair guy. Pony tail lady. 250 00:06:26,092 --> 00:06:27,717 Asian Don Cheadle. 251 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,384 I refuse to learn their names 252 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,384 because it humanizes them. 253 00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:32,968 But you'll never forget 254 00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:32,968 their smug lawyer faces. 255 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,759 Each one brings back 256 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,759 a specific, horrible memory. 257 00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:37,843 Like courtroom PTSD: 258 00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,092 Incompetent! 259 00:06:40,217 --> 00:06:42,468 Idiot! 260 00:06:42,593 --> 00:06:43,759 Mint? 261 00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,008 I could have choked 262 00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,008 on that mint. 263 00:06:46,134 --> 00:06:48,092 Even the nice ones 264 00:06:46,134 --> 00:06:48,092 are psychopaths. 265 00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:50,217 All right. Let's get fired up. 266 00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:50,217 Pound on my shoulders. 267 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,593 That's my stuff. 268 00:06:51,717 --> 00:06:53,134 Wait! Don't hurt me! 269 00:06:51,717 --> 00:06:53,134 That was a bad idea. 270 00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:54,926 I'll bang my own shoulders. 271 00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:54,926 Let's go. 272 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,176 Detective, have a seat. 273 00:06:58,301 --> 00:07:01,217 I am grappling 274 00:06:58,301 --> 00:07:01,217 with a highly vexing conundrum. 275 00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:02,968 What to do about 276 00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:02,968 Deputy Chief Wuntch? 277 00:07:03,092 --> 00:07:04,176 Precisely. 278 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:05,843 I could torpedo her promotion. 279 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,259 Just saying it 280 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,259 brims my soul with joy. 281 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,634 But to do so 282 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:11,551 would mean that she stays 283 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:11,551 in New York City 284 00:07:11,676 --> 00:07:15,301 hanging over me 285 00:07:11,676 --> 00:07:15,301 like an albino bat. 286 00:07:15,426 --> 00:07:18,009 On the other hand, 287 00:07:15,426 --> 00:07:18,009 if I "praise" Wuntch, 288 00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:20,259 she will leave this city, 289 00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:20,259 the clouds will part, 290 00:07:20,384 --> 00:07:22,050 and the children will sing 291 00:07:20,384 --> 00:07:22,050 "Wuntch is Gone." 292 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,551 - What children? 293 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,551 - All the children. 294 00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:27,592 That was a stupid question. 295 00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:27,592 What was Sarge's advice? 296 00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,968 Oh, you and I both know 297 00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,968 what Mother Jeffords would say. 298 00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:33,134 "Take the high road." 299 00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:33,134 But I asked you, Detective Diaz, 300 00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:35,884 because you understand... 301 00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:40,259 - ... vengeance. 302 00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:40,259 - Yes, I do. 303 00:07:40,384 --> 00:07:41,801 I had a nemesis once 304 00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:43,759 - Carla Bianchi. 305 00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:43,759 - Mmm. 306 00:07:43,884 --> 00:07:48,926 She wronged me and I crushed her 307 00:07:43,884 --> 00:07:48,926 like a gnat between my fingers. 308 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,926 I got her suspended 309 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,926 from the second grade. 310 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,426 Second grade? 311 00:07:52,550 --> 00:07:54,592 That little turd hoarded 312 00:07:52,550 --> 00:07:54,592 all the good markers. 313 00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:56,968 But eventually, 314 00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:56,968 she came back to school. 315 00:07:57,092 --> 00:08:02,468 And she made the next ten years 316 00:07:57,092 --> 00:08:02,468 of my life miserable. 317 00:08:02,592 --> 00:08:05,759 It's not worth it. 318 00:08:02,592 --> 00:08:05,759 Be nice to Wuntch. 319 00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:11,343 "Be nice to Wuntch?" 320 00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:11,343 You may go now, Mother Diaz. 321 00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:18,134 I hate this. 322 00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:18,134 Everyone is looking at us. 323 00:08:18,259 --> 00:08:20,009 Only because 324 00:08:18,259 --> 00:08:20,009 we're equally massive, 325 00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:21,468 beautiful men in tuxes. 326 00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:22,968 - Yeah. 327 00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:22,968 - Sophia. 328 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:26,926 Hey, girlfriend. 329 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,926 That came out saucier 330 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,926 than I wanted. 331 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,176 Yeah. 332 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,717 Hey, Jake, 333 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,717 what are you doing here? 334 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,717 I thought we agreed 335 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,717 to press pause. 336 00:08:33,843 --> 00:08:35,259 We did. I'm not here to see you. 337 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,259 I'm here to see your boss, 338 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,259 Geoffrey Hoytsman. 339 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,884 - We're gonna bond. 340 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,884 - Oh, God. 341 00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:41,050 - Oh, good indeed. 342 00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:41,050 - You misheard me on purpose. 343 00:08:41,176 --> 00:08:43,050 Possibly. Look, 344 00:08:41,176 --> 00:08:43,050 I'm gonna charm him. 345 00:08:43,176 --> 00:08:44,843 He's going to start giving you 346 00:08:43,176 --> 00:08:44,843 the good cases again. 347 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:47,468 - This is gonna work. 348 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:47,468 - No, it's not. 349 00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:49,509 How can I explain this? 350 00:08:47,592 --> 00:08:49,509 Oh, Okay. 351 00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:52,301 Imagine this room is full 352 00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:52,301 of intelligent robots... 353 00:08:52,426 --> 00:08:54,717 - Oh. 354 00:08:52,426 --> 00:08:54,717 - ... hell-bent on ending humanity 355 00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:56,384 and you are 356 00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:56,384 a working-class human 357 00:08:56,509 --> 00:08:57,968 who just entered 358 00:08:56,509 --> 00:08:57,968 their swarm-hive. 359 00:08:58,092 --> 00:08:59,968 Okay, love this, love you, 360 00:08:58,092 --> 00:08:59,968 keep going. 361 00:09:00,092 --> 00:09:01,384 That's a really weird moment 362 00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:02,884 to say you love me 363 00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:02,884 for the first time. 364 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,259 - Oh no. 365 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,259 - Was it? 366 00:09:04,384 --> 00:09:05,759 I'm just gonna blow past that. 367 00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:08,343 Look, the point is, 368 00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:08,343 you can't charm robots. 369 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,050 So you should go 370 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,050 before they pod you 371 00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:11,467 and harvest your brain. 372 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,134 Look, I've done my research 373 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,134 on Hoytsman: 374 00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:16,426 Skiing, nature, Atlantic City, 375 00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:16,426 I'm ready for him. 376 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:20,968 Sophia... Sergeant Jeffords... 377 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:20,968 Detective Peralta. 378 00:09:21,092 --> 00:09:23,217 Please, my friends call me 379 00:09:21,092 --> 00:09:23,217 Jakey Snowpants, 380 00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:24,926 because I'm skiing so much. 381 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:27,134 Carving moguls 382 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:27,134 on a black diamond. 383 00:09:27,259 --> 00:09:28,759 I prefer cross-country skiing. 384 00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:30,968 It's not a sport if gravity 385 00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:30,968 does the work for you. 386 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:34,426 Yeah. Gravity sucks. 387 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:34,426 Not the movie, the theory. 388 00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:36,717 Anyway, I've been spending 389 00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:36,717 my weekends in Atlantic City. 390 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,926 - Oh, that place is a dump. 391 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,926 - No. 392 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,634 Now, if you'll excuse me, 393 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,634 I need to steal Sophia away. 394 00:09:42,676 --> 00:09:44,426 You can't charm the robots. 395 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:48,968 What in the frig was that? 396 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:48,968 He's always in Atlantic City. 397 00:09:49,092 --> 00:09:51,259 Why would he go someplace 398 00:09:49,092 --> 00:09:51,259 he hates so much? 399 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,217 Unless there was something there 400 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,217 he loves. 401 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,968 I bet he loves gambling. 402 00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:56,843 Just like I'm here in this dump 403 00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:58,676 because of Sophia, 404 00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:58,676 who I now love. 405 00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,259 You're going hard 406 00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,259 on this love thing. 407 00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:01,884 I said it out loud. 408 00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:01,884 It's on the record. 409 00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:03,843 Can't take it back. Get on 410 00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:03,843 board, Terry. 411 00:10:04,717 --> 00:10:07,717 - Hello, Gina. 412 00:10:04,717 --> 00:10:07,717 - Ah! What are you creeps doing? 413 00:10:07,843 --> 00:10:09,676 You made me look away 414 00:10:07,843 --> 00:10:09,676 from my phone. 415 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,550 You better pray 416 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,550 I didn't miss a text. 417 00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,425 In your two seconds 418 00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,425 you looked away? 419 00:10:14,176 --> 00:10:16,550 17 texts. All of them important. 420 00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:18,509 Amy suggested 421 00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:18,509 we negotiate terms, 422 00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:20,968 so if you agree to give 423 00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:20,968 my dad his blessing, 424 00:10:21,092 --> 00:10:22,759 here's what I'll do for you. 425 00:10:22,884 --> 00:10:25,509 You will never see me 426 00:10:22,884 --> 00:10:25,509 in my pajamas on a family trip. 427 00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,050 We will never share a bunk bed. 428 00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:28,759 And I won't force you 429 00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:28,759 to participate 430 00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:31,550 in our annual 431 00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:31,550 themed Christmas cards. 432 00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:34,176 This year my dad was Mary 433 00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:34,176 and I was the baby Jesus. 434 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,343 Yeah, I know. 435 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,343 Got one. Lived the nightmare. 436 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,801 Well, the list goes on. 437 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,801 I signed it. Amy notarized it. 438 00:10:38,926 --> 00:10:41,509 I'm a notary. No big deal. 439 00:10:38,926 --> 00:10:41,509 I met the comptroller. 440 00:10:41,634 --> 00:10:43,176 Okay, you know what? 441 00:10:43,301 --> 00:10:45,343 This isn't about our lives 442 00:10:43,301 --> 00:10:45,343 getting intertwined, okay? 443 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:49,134 I'm worried about my mom 444 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:49,134 'cause she's been hurt before. 445 00:10:49,259 --> 00:10:51,134 This is all moving way too fast. 446 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:54,092 - Wow. Gina. 447 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:54,092 - That's really sweet. 448 00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:55,968 And the only reason 449 00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:55,968 I didn't tell you guys 450 00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:58,092 is 'cause I don't value you 451 00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:58,092 as people, 452 00:10:58,217 --> 00:10:59,634 so it's, like, why be honest? 453 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,050 Yeah, you just went back 454 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,050 and ruined what you said. 455 00:11:02,176 --> 00:11:05,092 Look, I know 456 00:11:02,176 --> 00:11:05,092 I'm a stage-five player, 457 00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:07,092 just mowing down chicks 458 00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:07,092 left and right, 459 00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:10,509 but my dad's not like that. 460 00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:10,509 He would never hurt your mom. 461 00:11:10,634 --> 00:11:12,342 Just talk to him, you'll see. 462 00:11:13,926 --> 00:11:16,759 Fine. I'll talk to him. 463 00:11:13,926 --> 00:11:16,759 Just to ask him some questions, 464 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,425 go get him 465 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,425 before I change my mind. 466 00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:19,634 Okay. 467 00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:21,217 Oh, already changed my mind. 468 00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:23,092 - Aww. 469 00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:23,092 - All right, I'm back. 470 00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:25,008 - Oh. 471 00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:25,008 - I'm back. 472 00:11:25,134 --> 00:11:27,383 The judge just threw it out 473 00:11:25,134 --> 00:11:27,383 on the spot. 474 00:11:29,717 --> 00:11:31,968 That judge 475 00:11:29,717 --> 00:11:31,968 has a deep voice, right? 476 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,092 I'm gonna go, 477 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,092 check out the food. 478 00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:37,342 Bet you five bucks 479 00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:37,342 you can't guess 480 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,717 three of the hors d'oeuvres 481 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,717 they're serving. 482 00:11:42,342 --> 00:11:43,926 I'll take that action. 483 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:48,801 Chicken satay, tuna tartare, 484 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:48,801 shot glasses of gazpacho. 485 00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:54,801 Satay, tartare... no spach. 486 00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:54,801 Where's the spach, Hoytsman? 487 00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:57,717 Yes! Spach! 488 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,759 - No! 489 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,759 - Well played. 490 00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:01,717 Unless you want 491 00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:01,717 to go double or nothing. 492 00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:03,592 - I'm listening. 493 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,092 Oh, nothing but glass! 494 00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:11,467 I'll bet you can't guess 495 00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:11,467 how tall the sarge is... 496 00:12:11,592 --> 00:12:13,134 in eggrolls. 497 00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:15,092 Twenty-four, 498 00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:18,383 exactly twenty-five 499 00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:18,383 eggrolls tall. 500 00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:20,008 Celebration eggroll. 501 00:12:20,134 --> 00:12:22,759 - Man, that was on the floor. 502 00:12:20,134 --> 00:12:22,759 - You're on the floor. 503 00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:25,300 60 bucks says 504 00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:25,300 you can't remove one glass 505 00:12:25,425 --> 00:12:27,092 without knocking 506 00:12:25,425 --> 00:12:27,092 the whole thing over. 507 00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:29,509 You didn't say 508 00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:29,509 I couldn't grab the top one. 509 00:12:35,258 --> 00:12:37,008 Yes! 510 00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:39,717 A hundred bucks says I can jump 511 00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:39,717 from the roof and survive. 512 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,550 Oh, I don't think you can... 513 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:43,050 Just messing 514 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:43,050 with you. 515 00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,801 I gotta hit the head. 516 00:12:44,926 --> 00:12:46,509 Then we'll bet on who can shove 517 00:12:44,926 --> 00:12:46,509 more shrimp in his mouth. 518 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:49,217 You're on. I got a big mouth. 519 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:49,217 You're in trouble. 520 00:12:49,342 --> 00:12:50,550 I thought you were leaving. 521 00:12:50,676 --> 00:12:51,884 Were you just talking 522 00:12:50,676 --> 00:12:51,884 to Hoytsman? 523 00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:54,050 Talking, bonding, betting. 524 00:12:54,176 --> 00:12:56,425 I should bet him that I can pee 525 00:12:54,176 --> 00:12:56,425 for longer than he can. 526 00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:59,300 - Ugh. 527 00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:59,300 - The trick is to pinch it. 528 00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:02,342 I'll be right back... 529 00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:02,342 Oh, gotta fill up the tank. 530 00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,717 - Ah! Hello Geoffrey. 531 00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,717 - Hello. 532 00:13:09,134 --> 00:13:10,634 And that's cocaine. 533 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,968 This night is making me 534 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,968 incredibly anxious. 535 00:13:17,092 --> 00:13:18,383 Oh hey, stay close. 536 00:13:18,509 --> 00:13:19,926 Someone messed 537 00:13:18,509 --> 00:13:19,926 with the champagne tower. 538 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,092 You're all I've got. 539 00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:23,383 Jake is stupid, but he's smart. 540 00:13:23,509 --> 00:13:25,216 I think his plan 541 00:13:23,509 --> 00:13:25,216 is actually working. 542 00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:26,717 Oh God. 543 00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:30,008 Hey, no big deal but 544 00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:32,050 I arrested your boss, and I 545 00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:32,050 never should have come here. 546 00:13:32,176 --> 00:13:33,425 Well I read that wrong. 547 00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,467 Oh, this is insane. 548 00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,467 This is so insane. 549 00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:38,300 - I wasn't doing anything. 550 00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:38,300 - He was snorting cocaine. 551 00:13:38,425 --> 00:13:41,425 For the last time, 552 00:13:38,425 --> 00:13:41,425 that is not what happened. 553 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:45,467 - And that's cocaine. 554 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:45,467 - Are you sure? 555 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,050 Five dollars says you're wrong. 556 00:13:47,176 --> 00:13:49,134 Let me get in there, 557 00:13:47,176 --> 00:13:49,134 take a good look and smell. 558 00:13:49,258 --> 00:13:50,717 No, don't. 559 00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,300 Okay. It was cocaine. 560 00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,509 Turns out I was accidentally 561 00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,509 doing some cocaine. 562 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,843 Not on accident. You put it 563 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,843 in your nose on purpose. 564 00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,592 I don't even think 565 00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,592 I have a nose, Peralta. 566 00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:01,342 I certainly cannot feel it. 567 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,134 - The defense rests! 568 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,134 - Shh. Keep your voices down. 569 00:14:04,258 --> 00:14:05,926 - What is going on here? 570 00:14:04,258 --> 00:14:05,926 - Nothing at all. 571 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:09,050 Sophia's cop boyfriend 572 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:09,050 is arresting me 573 00:14:09,175 --> 00:14:11,050 in front of my friends 574 00:14:09,175 --> 00:14:11,050 and colleagues. 575 00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:14,008 Hey, everyone. I'm Jake. 576 00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:18,300 So who here saw 577 00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:18,300 12 Years A Slave? 578 00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:21,968 Best picture. 579 00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:24,717 Well, Diaz, 580 00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:24,717 the deed is done. 581 00:14:24,843 --> 00:14:27,509 - You torpedoed her promotion? 582 00:14:24,843 --> 00:14:27,509 - Sadly, no. 583 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,134 I gave that goblin 584 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,134 a good recommendation. 585 00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:32,801 Your story about the market turd 586 00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:32,801 really hit me. 587 00:14:32,926 --> 00:14:34,801 I began to realize 588 00:14:32,926 --> 00:14:34,801 that if even you thought 589 00:14:34,926 --> 00:14:36,175 I should take the high road, 590 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,843 that was probably 591 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,843 the right choice. 592 00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,425 I'm sorry you didn't get 593 00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,425 your vengeance... Mother Holt. 594 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:41,968 Good one. 595 00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,509 But I am still planning 596 00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:44,509 to get some retribution. 597 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,926 - I got her a parting gift. 598 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,926 - Tickets to Wicked? 599 00:14:50,009 --> 00:14:51,175 In Boston. 600 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,550 She's moving 601 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,550 to a second-class city 602 00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:54,759 and I wanted 603 00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:54,759 to rub her nose in it. 604 00:14:54,884 --> 00:14:56,550 Enjoy the understudies, 605 00:14:54,884 --> 00:14:56,550 Madeline. 606 00:14:56,676 --> 00:14:58,717 Have fun watching 607 00:14:56,676 --> 00:14:58,717 some chubby Chenoweth knock-off 608 00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,884 warble her way through Popular. 609 00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:05,759 - Hello, Lynn. 610 00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:05,759 - Hi, Regina. 611 00:15:05,884 --> 00:15:07,634 Don't play games with me, boy. 612 00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:11,258 - This is a bad idea. 613 00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:11,258 - No, it's okay. Dad's got this. 614 00:15:11,383 --> 00:15:12,342 He's a real sweet talker. 615 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,425 - Let's cut the crap. 616 00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,425 - Okay. 617 00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:16,258 What are your intentions 618 00:15:14,550 --> 00:15:16,258 with my mother? 619 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,676 To make love to her 620 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,676 every morning until we die. 621 00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:22,509 - So it's just physical? 622 00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:22,509 - What are you nuts? 623 00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:25,884 I'm a divorced, retired florist 624 00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:25,884 with a terrible gluten allergy. 625 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:29,467 Your mom is a beautiful, 626 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:29,467 brilliant travel agent. 627 00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:33,091 She talks to people on the phone 628 00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:33,091 who've seen the whole world. 629 00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:34,843 I'll never meet anyone 630 00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:34,843 half as good as her. 631 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,843 She's the best thing 632 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,843 that ever happened to me. 633 00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:38,884 You mean other than Charles? 634 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:41,884 No. 635 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,133 She's the best thing 636 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,133 that ever happened to me. 637 00:15:44,258 --> 00:15:47,342 That's okay, Pop. 638 00:15:44,258 --> 00:15:47,342 You did what you had to do. 639 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:48,759 I love her. 640 00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:50,759 All I want is 641 00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:50,759 to make her happy forever. 642 00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:53,884 Fine. I give you my blessing. 643 00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:56,383 But if you hurt my mom 644 00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:56,383 in any way, 645 00:15:56,509 --> 00:15:57,717 so help me God, 646 00:15:57,843 --> 00:15:59,676 I will cut off 647 00:15:57,843 --> 00:15:59,676 your son's testicles. 648 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:03,425 - Snip, snip. I'm not playing. 649 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:03,425 - Deal. 650 00:16:04,926 --> 00:16:06,467 Way to go, Dad! 651 00:16:04,926 --> 00:16:06,467 You bagged a babe. 652 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,091 The Boyle boys 653 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,091 are planning a wedding! 654 00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:11,926 Boyle boys! Boyle boys! 655 00:16:12,049 --> 00:16:13,884 Boyle boys! Boyle boys! 656 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,843 You screwed this up, buddy. 657 00:16:17,968 --> 00:16:19,801 You think she's gonna love you 658 00:16:17,968 --> 00:16:19,801 after this? 659 00:16:19,926 --> 00:16:21,383 She'll see who you are now. 660 00:16:21,509 --> 00:16:23,133 Hey, you don't know anything 661 00:16:21,509 --> 00:16:23,133 about me and Sophia. 662 00:16:23,258 --> 00:16:25,634 What? I'm talking 663 00:16:23,258 --> 00:16:25,634 to myself about my wife. 664 00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:27,049 She is not gonna like this. 665 00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:29,133 Who cares about you 666 00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:29,133 and your gross life? 667 00:16:29,258 --> 00:16:31,216 Jake, heads up. 668 00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:33,676 Oh, hey, Sophia. 669 00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:33,676 Thank God you're here. 670 00:16:33,801 --> 00:16:35,216 I was just gonna find you 671 00:16:33,801 --> 00:16:35,216 so we could talk. 672 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,717 Jake, I'm not here 673 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,717 to talk to you. 674 00:16:36,843 --> 00:16:38,009 I'm here as Geoffrey's attorney. 675 00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,592 Oh, I can do it myself. 676 00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,592 Watch this. 677 00:16:39,717 --> 00:16:41,049 Objection, objection, objection, 678 00:16:41,175 --> 00:16:43,049 objection, objection! 679 00:16:41,175 --> 00:16:43,049 Five! Five objections. 680 00:16:43,175 --> 00:16:46,049 Maybe this "cocaine" 681 00:16:43,175 --> 00:16:46,049 isn't so bad after all. 682 00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:47,926 Geoffrey, 683 00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:47,926 I'm gonna have to advise you 684 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,091 to stop talking/confessing 685 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,342 in front of the detectives. 686 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:51,843 Look, I know that you're mad 687 00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,425 but I talked to the DA 688 00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:54,926 and he agreed 689 00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:54,926 to drop the charges. 690 00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:56,592 Geoffrey has to do 691 00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:56,592 some community service 692 00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:58,008 and nothing goes on his record. 693 00:16:58,133 --> 00:16:59,592 Not good enough. 694 00:16:58,133 --> 00:16:59,592 You have no evidence. 695 00:16:59,717 --> 00:17:01,759 Sophia, there's cocaine 696 00:16:59,717 --> 00:17:01,759 on his collar right now. 697 00:17:01,884 --> 00:17:03,342 Oh, not anymore. 698 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:04,926 Whoo! 699 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,676 You're really not reading 700 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,676 the vibe right at all. 701 00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,383 That's the cocaine. 702 00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,383 I'm usually very tuned in. 703 00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:11,216 - Shh. 704 00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:11,216 - I had to arrest him. 705 00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:12,968 - I had no choice. 706 00:17:11,342 --> 00:17:12,968 - Really? 707 00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:15,258 I could think of 50 other ways 708 00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:15,258 you could've handled this. 709 00:17:15,383 --> 00:17:17,091 Oh my God, 710 00:17:15,383 --> 00:17:17,091 you are such a lawyer. 711 00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:18,592 You are such a cop. 712 00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,300 I tell you I need space 713 00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,300 to figure things out 714 00:17:20,425 --> 00:17:21,759 and you kick down the door 715 00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:23,425 with the first plan 716 00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:23,425 to pop into your head. 717 00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:24,926 How is it my fault your boss 718 00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:26,717 put his jerk nose 719 00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:26,717 into a pile of jerk cocaine? 720 00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:28,091 You followed him into a bathroom 721 00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:30,049 at a party you weren't even 722 00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:30,049 invited to. 723 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,175 Hey, you know what? We're done. 724 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,049 Fine. I'll talk to the DA 725 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,049 and see if I can cut 726 00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:35,926 the community service 727 00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:35,926 in half, okay? 728 00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:38,676 No, Jake, not with the case. 729 00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:38,676 You and I are done. 730 00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:46,383 - Jake, what are you doing? 731 00:17:46,509 --> 00:17:47,592 I wanted to stop you. 732 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:49,884 Grand gesture. 733 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:49,884 I took the stairs. 734 00:17:50,008 --> 00:17:53,634 - A little winded there, buddy? 735 00:17:50,008 --> 00:17:53,634 - Yeah. Romance is hard! 736 00:17:53,759 --> 00:17:56,008 Just talk for 20 minutes 737 00:17:53,759 --> 00:17:56,008 while I catch my breath. 738 00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:58,049 - I don't have anything to say. 739 00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:58,049 - Oh come on. 740 00:17:58,175 --> 00:17:59,884 This is just a stupid fight 741 00:17:58,175 --> 00:17:59,884 about nothing. 742 00:18:00,008 --> 00:18:01,843 I'm not gonna let us break up 743 00:18:00,008 --> 00:18:01,843 over this. 744 00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:04,926 Jake, our jobs are incompatible. 745 00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:04,926 Our lives are incompatible. 746 00:18:05,049 --> 00:18:06,300 We'll just never talk about work 747 00:18:06,425 --> 00:18:08,133 or interact 748 00:18:06,425 --> 00:18:08,133 with each other's friends 749 00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:09,759 or acknowledge each other 750 00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:09,759 in public and this sounds 751 00:18:09,884 --> 00:18:11,801 like I'm describing enemies, 752 00:18:09,884 --> 00:18:11,801 but we can make it work. 753 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,592 - We're Romeo and Juliet. 754 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,592 - It didn't work for them. 755 00:18:14,717 --> 00:18:16,843 That play ends 756 00:18:14,717 --> 00:18:16,843 in a tragic double suicide. 757 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:19,550 That's how it ends? 758 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:19,550 Why do people like it so much? 759 00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:21,091 All right, look. 760 00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:21,091 Jake, you're fun 761 00:18:21,216 --> 00:18:22,925 We've only been dating 762 00:18:21,216 --> 00:18:22,925 for three months. 763 00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:26,216 - It's just not that serious. 764 00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:26,216 - Well, it's kinda serious to me. 765 00:18:26,342 --> 00:18:28,592 I've accidentally said 766 00:18:26,342 --> 00:18:28,592 I love you four times already. 767 00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:32,216 I know. I just don't think 768 00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:32,216 I accidentally love you back. 769 00:18:33,383 --> 00:18:35,759 Look, it's just... 770 00:18:33,383 --> 00:18:35,759 it's just so much work. 771 00:18:35,884 --> 00:18:37,801 That's work I'm willing to do. 772 00:18:37,925 --> 00:18:39,550 I'm not. 773 00:18:41,091 --> 00:18:42,383 I'm sorry. 774 00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:49,550 Double suicide? 775 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,008 Hello, Madeline. 776 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,008 - Raymond. 777 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,467 I was just about to call you 778 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,550 to thank you 779 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,550 for your kind recommendation. 780 00:18:57,676 --> 00:19:03,342 - And I wanted to give you this. 781 00:18:57,676 --> 00:19:03,342 - Wicked. Starring Beth Danube. 782 00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:05,883 Well played, Raymond. 783 00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,843 Sadly, I won't be able 784 00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,843 to use them. 785 00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,967 - Since I'm not going to Boston. 786 00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,967 - What? 787 00:19:10,091 --> 00:19:12,634 I was only interested 788 00:19:10,091 --> 00:19:12,634 in the Boston offer as leverage. 789 00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:15,175 I used it to get a promotion 790 00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:15,175 from the NYPD: 791 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,216 I have never had 792 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,216 more power over you 793 00:19:17,342 --> 00:19:18,801 than I do at this very moment. 794 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,049 I wanted to give you these 795 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,049 as a thank you. 796 00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:26,049 You're joking. 797 00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:26,049 I'm gonna call the commissioner. 798 00:19:26,175 --> 00:19:27,425 Shh, shh, shh. 799 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,801 I know you never 800 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:29,801 would have recommended me 801 00:19:29,925 --> 00:19:31,676 for that post if deep down 802 00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,300 you didn't think 803 00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,300 I deserved the job. 804 00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:44,383 What the... 805 00:19:44,509 --> 00:19:48,967 A thank-you round of drinks 806 00:19:44,509 --> 00:19:48,967 and a toast to Amy. 807 00:19:49,091 --> 00:19:50,634 Your conflict resolution skills 808 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,759 has made my childhood 809 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,759 dreams come true. 810 00:19:52,883 --> 00:19:54,300 I'm gonna be a ring bearer. 811 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:56,300 You don't think your dad 812 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:56,300 will make you best man? 813 00:19:56,425 --> 00:19:58,634 Oh, I just assumed 814 00:19:56,425 --> 00:19:58,634 he'd ask Jake. 815 00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:01,717 Mm. Move over, please. 816 00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:01,717 I do have a wedding to plan. 817 00:20:01,842 --> 00:20:03,300 'Cause if this thing 818 00:20:01,842 --> 00:20:03,300 is happening, 819 00:20:03,425 --> 00:20:05,258 it's not going to be 820 00:20:03,425 --> 00:20:05,258 a Boyle brothers event. 821 00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:06,925 For starters, 822 00:20:07,049 --> 00:20:08,550 all the bridesmaids are gonna be 823 00:20:07,049 --> 00:20:08,550 dressed like Roseanne 824 00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:10,717 - from the television show. 825 00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:10,717 - Oh, I like that show. 826 00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,425 A certified shaman 827 00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,425 will conduct the ceremony, 828 00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:17,091 and the ring bearer 829 00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:17,091 will be an actual wolf. 830 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,509 Oh man, I could do it, 831 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,258 but I wouldn't be 832 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,258 as majestic on all fours. 833 00:20:20,383 --> 00:20:21,717 This wedding sounds weird. 834 00:20:20,383 --> 00:20:21,717 I'm into it. 835 00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:23,467 To Lynn and Darlene Boyle. 836 00:20:23,592 --> 00:20:25,008 Cheers. 837 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:26,383 Yuck. 838 00:20:27,509 --> 00:20:31,091 - My lady left me. 839 00:20:27,509 --> 00:20:31,091 - My lady stayed. 840 00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:33,425 Come on, sir. Focus on the good. 841 00:20:33,550 --> 00:20:35,049 You can hold your head up. 842 00:20:35,175 --> 00:20:36,967 You took the high road 843 00:20:35,175 --> 00:20:36,967 with Wuntch. 844 00:20:37,091 --> 00:20:38,800 Not entirely. 845 00:20:38,925 --> 00:20:40,800 When I was alone in her office, 846 00:20:38,925 --> 00:20:40,800 I changed her auto-correct. 847 00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:44,676 Now when she types "Wuntch," 848 00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:44,676 it gets replaced with "Butt." 849 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,300 Ah, I should not have gone 850 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,300 to that party. 851 00:20:47,425 --> 00:20:49,008 I shouldn't have gone 852 00:20:47,425 --> 00:20:49,008 to that bathroom. 853 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:50,258 I shouldn't have arrested 854 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:50,258 her boss. 855 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,717 I don't see it that way. 856 00:20:51,842 --> 00:20:53,925 You did everything right. 857 00:20:51,842 --> 00:20:53,925 You were a good cop. 858 00:20:54,049 --> 00:20:55,509 Good lonely cop. 859 00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:57,467 Hey, man, you put yourself 860 00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:57,467 out there. 861 00:20:57,592 --> 00:20:59,008 You weren't breezy. 862 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,133 You like Sophia, 863 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,133 you fought for her. 864 00:21:01,258 --> 00:21:02,592 You should be proud. 865 00:21:02,717 --> 00:21:04,425 No, you should be changing 866 00:21:02,717 --> 00:21:04,425 her auto-correct. 867 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:06,133 - What's her last name? 868 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:06,133 - Perez. 869 00:21:06,258 --> 00:21:09,091 No. It's "Butt" now. 870 00:21:06,258 --> 00:21:09,091 Sophia Butt. 871 00:21:09,883 --> 00:21:13,216 - That's feels good, doesn't it? 872 00:21:09,883 --> 00:21:13,216 - Not really. 873 00:21:13,342 --> 00:21:16,425 Okay... Then let's get sauced. 874 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,091 Ah, okay, okay, okay... 875 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,091 Mine. Mine. 876 00:21:20,216 --> 00:21:22,049 Fremulon. 877 00:21:22,175 --> 00:21:23,634 Not a doctor. Shh.