1 00:00:01,321 --> 00:00:02,696 Previously 2 00:00:01,321 --> 00:00:02,696 on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"... 3 00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,068 I'm being transferred 4 00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,068 to the public relations office. 5 00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:07,273 I am leaving the Nine-Nine 6 00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:07,273 effective immediately. 7 00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:21,009 Hello. 8 00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:21,009 I'm your new commanding officer, 9 00:00:21,051 --> 00:00:22,425 Captain Seth Dozerman. 10 00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:25,714 My motto is simple: efficiency, 11 00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:25,714 efficiency, efficiency. 12 00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:27,087 Could probably 13 00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:27,087 just say it once. 14 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,169 Are you making fun 15 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,169 of my stutter? 16 00:00:28,211 --> 00:00:29,585 Oh, uh... 17 00:00:29,627 --> 00:00:30,709 Tricked you. 18 00:00:29,627 --> 00:00:30,709 I don't have a stutter. 19 00:00:30,751 --> 00:00:32,582 Boom, I've already 20 00:00:30,751 --> 00:00:32,582 established my authority 21 00:00:32,624 --> 00:00:34,163 through my amazing 22 00:00:32,624 --> 00:00:34,163 sense of humor. 23 00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:34,955 Well done, sir. 24 00:00:34,995 --> 00:00:37,077 Welcome to the Nine-Nine. 25 00:00:37,118 --> 00:00:38,618 I'm Sergeant Terry Jeffords. 26 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:39,950 And I'm not interested. 27 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:40,908 I have no use for people. 28 00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:43,029 I find people weird 29 00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:43,029 and confusing. 30 00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:44,153 I live my life by numbers. 31 00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,444 You see this watch? 32 00:00:45,486 --> 00:00:47,692 It tells me how many calories 33 00:00:45,486 --> 00:00:47,692 I burn at any time. 34 00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,190 how many calories 35 00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,190 do you think I burned 36 00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,731 walking from there 37 00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,731 to there? 38 00:00:50,773 --> 00:00:51,938 You, female closest to me. 39 00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:55,059 Oh, uh, 40 00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:55,059 three? 41 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,390 Three? 42 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,390 Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 43 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,639 Try 0.8, numbnuts. 44 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,345 I have made promises 45 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,345 to my superiors 46 00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:02,967 that I most certainly 47 00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:02,967 cannot keep. 48 00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:05,964 That's why I need you idiots 49 00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:05,964 to work twice as hard. 50 00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:08,129 No, no, strike that. 51 00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:08,129 Four times as hard. 52 00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:09,295 No, no, no, strike that. 53 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:12,292 I need you morons to work 54 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:12,292 eight times harder 55 00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:15,914 than you've ever worked 56 00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:15,914 in your entire life! 57 00:01:15,954 --> 00:01:16,830 I'm having a heart attack. 58 00:01:16,872 --> 00:01:19,118 Yeah, I'm having 59 00:01:16,872 --> 00:01:19,118 a heart attack. 60 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,534 Get back to work. 61 00:01:20,576 --> 00:01:21,575 Get a doctor! 62 00:01:42,178 --> 00:01:45,966 Yeah, I'm just gonna 63 00:01:42,178 --> 00:01:45,966 make some copies in here. 64 00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:47,632 Perfect cover. 65 00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:47,632 Nailed it. 66 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,254 So apparently, 67 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,254 the new captain survived, 68 00:01:50,296 --> 00:01:52,168 and his heart attack... 69 00:01:50,296 --> 00:01:52,168 not the craziest thing 70 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:54,709 that happened 71 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:54,709 at the precinct today. 72 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,163 We kissed, like, 73 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,163 three hours ago. 74 00:01:57,205 --> 00:02:01,493 Yes, we did kiss 75 00:01:57,205 --> 00:02:01,493 each other for reals. 76 00:02:01,535 --> 00:02:02,409 For reals, reals. 77 00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:03,616 - Listen. 78 00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,614 I know you said you 79 00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,614 don't want to date cops, 80 00:02:05,656 --> 00:02:08,027 but I really like you. 81 00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:10,109 I like you too. 82 00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:11,483 Good. 83 00:02:11,525 --> 00:02:12,816 But what if we 84 00:02:11,525 --> 00:02:12,816 start dating 85 00:02:12,857 --> 00:02:13,980 and it makes things 86 00:02:12,857 --> 00:02:13,980 weird at work? 87 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:17,143 So let's just keep it 88 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:17,143 light and breezy, 89 00:02:17,185 --> 00:02:18,268 see where it goes. 90 00:02:18,309 --> 00:02:19,890 Totally. Yeah. 91 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,971 So how do we keep it 92 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,971 light and breezy? 93 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,386 I know. 94 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,386 A comprehensive set of rules. 95 00:02:25,427 --> 00:02:27,008 How am I attracted 96 00:02:25,427 --> 00:02:27,008 to you? 97 00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:27,924 Doesn't matter. 98 00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:27,924 I am. Go. 99 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,840 Rule one, 100 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,840 let's not tell anyone 101 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,588 so we can figure out 102 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,588 what this is first. 103 00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:32,504 Smort. 104 00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:32,504 Rule number two, 105 00:02:32,546 --> 00:02:33,586 let's not put 106 00:02:32,546 --> 00:02:33,586 labels on it. 107 00:02:33,628 --> 00:02:34,669 We're not boyfriend 108 00:02:33,628 --> 00:02:34,669 and girlfriend; 109 00:02:34,710 --> 00:02:37,457 we're just "mrmmzeep" 110 00:02:34,710 --> 00:02:37,457 and "jinglebin." 111 00:02:37,499 --> 00:02:39,372 Great. 112 00:02:37,499 --> 00:02:39,372 Rule number three, 113 00:02:39,413 --> 00:02:40,829 let's not have sex 114 00:02:39,413 --> 00:02:40,829 right away. 115 00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:44,075 Cool, cool, cool, 116 00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:44,075 cool, cool, cool... 117 00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:45,741 No doubt, no doubt, 118 00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:45,741 no doubt, no doubt. 119 00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:47,072 Good rule. 120 00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:47,072 No sex, good rule. 121 00:02:47,113 --> 00:02:50,027 So should we 122 00:02:47,113 --> 00:02:50,027 go out tonight? 123 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:51,193 Yeah, totally. 124 00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:52,567 Maybe 8:00, maybe 9:00. 125 00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:52,567 Doesn't matter. 126 00:02:52,609 --> 00:02:53,358 We're light and breezy. 127 00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,564 Totally light 128 00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,564 and breezy. 129 00:02:55,606 --> 00:02:57,020 No! 130 00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:58,436 Briefing room. 131 00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,560 Five minutes. 132 00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:02,641 Wow, very chill. 133 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,051 Wuntch. 134 00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:09,882 Hello, Raymond. 135 00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,298 You're looking 136 00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,298 old and sickly. 137 00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:13,129 So nice of you 138 00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:13,129 to greet us, Madeline. 139 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:15,377 I thought surely you'd still 140 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:15,377 be crushed under that house 141 00:03:15,419 --> 00:03:16,210 in Munchkinland. 142 00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,041 Sticks and stones, 143 00:03:16,251 --> 00:03:18,041 Raymond. 144 00:03:18,082 --> 00:03:19,665 Describing your breakfast? 145 00:03:19,707 --> 00:03:22,078 I came out as a gay cop 146 00:03:19,707 --> 00:03:22,078 in the 1980s, 147 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,076 so it's gonna take more 148 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,076 than reassigning me 149 00:03:24,118 --> 00:03:25,534 to break my spirit. 150 00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:28,031 I'll turn this place around 151 00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:28,031 just like I did the Nine-Nine. 152 00:03:28,072 --> 00:03:29,322 I doubt that. 153 00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:32,777 Everyone, this is 154 00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:32,777 your new commanding officer, 155 00:03:32,817 --> 00:03:34,025 Raymond Holt. 156 00:03:34,066 --> 00:03:35,856 He's going to be with you 157 00:03:34,066 --> 00:03:35,856 for a long, long time. 158 00:03:35,898 --> 00:03:36,938 Thank you, Chief Wuntch. 159 00:03:36,980 --> 00:03:38,811 I'm excited to be back. 160 00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:40,394 I look forward 161 00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:40,394 to doing meaningful work 162 00:03:40,436 --> 00:03:43,641 beginning with my eight-point 163 00:03:40,436 --> 00:03:43,641 plan for community engagement. 164 00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,473 Wonderful. 165 00:03:45,514 --> 00:03:46,513 But no new initiatives 166 00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:47,512 until you finish 167 00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:47,512 the meaningful work 168 00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:49,635 that's already 169 00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:49,635 in progress here. 170 00:03:49,677 --> 00:03:50,759 Could be a while, 171 00:03:49,677 --> 00:03:50,759 Raymond. 172 00:03:50,799 --> 00:03:51,758 They're trying 173 00:03:50,799 --> 00:03:51,758 to come up with a name 174 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,714 for the NYPD's 175 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,714 new pigeon mascot. 176 00:03:56,044 --> 00:03:57,377 Oh, no. 177 00:03:57,419 --> 00:03:58,875 What? 178 00:03:57,419 --> 00:03:58,875 Naming a pigeon? 179 00:03:58,916 --> 00:04:00,789 How long could that 180 00:03:58,916 --> 00:04:00,789 possibly take? 181 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,289 They've been at it 182 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,289 for months. 183 00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:04,745 I love my life. 184 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,031 Holy Moses, 185 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,031 he's alive. 186 00:04:09,073 --> 00:04:11,655 So I want to explain 187 00:04:09,073 --> 00:04:11,655 what happened back there. 188 00:04:11,697 --> 00:04:12,861 I did not have 189 00:04:11,697 --> 00:04:12,861 a heart attack. 190 00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:13,943 The doctors have 191 00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:13,943 informed me 192 00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:16,233 that I have a genetic 193 00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:16,233 heart condition. 194 00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:19,979 My aortic valve 195 00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:19,979 is 16% too narrow, 196 00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:24,434 which lowers my life 197 00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:24,434 expectancy from 103 to 64. 198 00:04:24,475 --> 00:04:26,473 So sorry, sir. 199 00:04:24,475 --> 00:04:26,473 That's terrible. 200 00:04:26,515 --> 00:04:27,722 Yes, it's depressing. 201 00:04:27,762 --> 00:04:30,052 They also informed me 202 00:04:27,762 --> 00:04:30,052 that I carry the gene 203 00:04:30,094 --> 00:04:31,301 for webbed feet, 204 00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:33,923 which is interesting, 205 00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:33,923 more than anything else. 206 00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,379 But, uh, when you stare 207 00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,379 death in the face, 208 00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:40,626 as I have, it really puts 209 00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:40,626 things into perspective, 210 00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:43,996 namely that I've been wasting 211 00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:43,996 too much of my time 212 00:04:44,038 --> 00:04:45,621 farting around! 213 00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:47,411 So that stops now! 214 00:04:47,452 --> 00:04:49,907 Say good-bye 215 00:04:47,452 --> 00:04:49,907 to the fun, hilarious, 216 00:04:49,949 --> 00:04:51,448 laid-back Seth Dozerman 217 00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,821 that you used to love. 218 00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:54,860 Boys, hand 'em out! 219 00:04:54,902 --> 00:04:56,276 What the hell 220 00:04:54,902 --> 00:04:56,276 are these? 221 00:04:56,318 --> 00:04:57,567 "What the hell 222 00:04:56,318 --> 00:04:57,567 are these?" 223 00:04:57,609 --> 00:04:59,023 These are Dozer-pads. 224 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,021 Each one is equipped 225 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,021 with a GPS system 226 00:05:01,063 --> 00:05:03,019 and a countdown clock 227 00:05:01,063 --> 00:05:03,019 to remind you 228 00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:05,684 to complete a task 229 00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:05,684 every 55 minutes. 230 00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:08,846 It also has backgammon on it, 231 00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:08,846 which I could not delete 232 00:05:08,888 --> 00:05:10,429 but you are not 233 00:05:08,888 --> 00:05:10,429 allowed to play. 234 00:05:10,471 --> 00:05:11,968 What happens when 235 00:05:10,471 --> 00:05:11,968 the clock runs out? 236 00:05:13,009 --> 00:05:14,634 Failure. Failure. 237 00:05:14,675 --> 00:05:16,090 You are behind schedule! 238 00:05:16,131 --> 00:05:17,005 - Oh, that's fun. 239 00:05:16,131 --> 00:05:17,005 - Yeah. 240 00:05:17,047 --> 00:05:20,336 Your 55 minutes 241 00:05:17,047 --> 00:05:20,336 starts right... 242 00:05:20,378 --> 00:05:22,167 now. 243 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,623 Sarge, I don't need 244 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,623 to be monitored all day long. 245 00:05:25,664 --> 00:05:27,287 I'm not a toddler. 246 00:05:25,664 --> 00:05:27,287 This is stupid. 247 00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:28,743 I know you're not 248 00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:28,743 a toddler, 249 00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:31,658 because my toddlers know 250 00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:31,658 that "stupid" is a no-no word. 251 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,905 Keep that Dozer-pad 252 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,905 on you at all times. 253 00:05:33,946 --> 00:05:37,776 Fine, but I am gonna play 254 00:05:33,946 --> 00:05:37,776 the hell out of some backgammon. 255 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:38,900 Watch me. 256 00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:44,645 Bouche Manger. 257 00:05:44,685 --> 00:05:45,934 Oh, small plates, 258 00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,265 casual-chic ambiance, 259 00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,265 no free soda refills... 260 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,012 Jakey's going on a date. 261 00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,178 Are you going 262 00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,178 on a date with Amy? 263 00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:54,427 What? No. Why? 264 00:05:54,469 --> 00:05:56,592 Uh, because you guys 265 00:05:54,469 --> 00:05:56,592 just kissed on that mission. 266 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,671 Charles, we just kissed 267 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,671 'cause we were undercover. 268 00:05:58,713 --> 00:06:01,045 That's it. 269 00:05:58,713 --> 00:06:01,045 Yeah, it didn't mean anything. 270 00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:02,667 Not that it's any 271 00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:02,667 of your business, Boyle, 272 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:04,459 but the person that 273 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:04,459 I'm taking on a date 274 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,582 is a girl from the gym. 275 00:06:06,623 --> 00:06:07,829 What? 276 00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:09,702 Why is this the first time 277 00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:09,702 I'm hearing about her? 278 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,410 Or that you go to the gym? 279 00:06:11,452 --> 00:06:12,576 Jake, avoid the weights. 280 00:06:12,617 --> 00:06:14,655 Nobody wants you turning 281 00:06:12,617 --> 00:06:14,655 into another Terry. 282 00:06:14,697 --> 00:06:15,696 Ugh. 283 00:06:15,738 --> 00:06:17,861 Hey, people like 284 00:06:15,738 --> 00:06:17,861 the way that I look. 285 00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:20,109 Sure they do, 286 00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:20,109 big guy. 287 00:06:20,151 --> 00:06:21,233 Look, I can't believe 288 00:06:20,151 --> 00:06:21,233 you're gonna take 289 00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:23,606 some fitness floozy 290 00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:23,606 to Bouche Manger. 291 00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:24,564 You should be going 292 00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:24,564 with Amy. 293 00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:25,769 Right, Amy? 294 00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:27,269 Uh... 295 00:06:27,311 --> 00:06:28,476 Whatever, dog. 296 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,099 Date the flooze. 297 00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:31,140 See? 298 00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:33,471 It's never gonna happen, 299 00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:33,471 Boyle, okay? 300 00:06:33,513 --> 00:06:35,511 Because I find Amy repulsive, 301 00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:38,258 and she finds me 302 00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:38,258 extremely handsome. 303 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:39,590 So stop pressuring us. 304 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:41,670 Oh, you sweet, 305 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:41,670 naive boy. 306 00:06:41,712 --> 00:06:44,252 I haven't even begun 307 00:06:41,712 --> 00:06:44,252 to pressure you two. 308 00:06:44,294 --> 00:06:45,833 I've already written 309 00:06:44,294 --> 00:06:45,833 my best man speech 310 00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:47,165 for your wedding. 311 00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:50,538 Oh, I'm gonna need you 312 00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:50,538 to get married on a farm. 313 00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:53,076 A lot of my jokes 314 00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:53,076 rely on that. 315 00:06:53,118 --> 00:06:56,613 So here we are, 316 00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,113 officially on a date, 317 00:06:58,154 --> 00:06:59,487 romantical date. 318 00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:01,277 Yes, we are. 319 00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,400 No longer 320 00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,400 just colleagues. 321 00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:05,523 Dating. 322 00:07:05,564 --> 00:07:07,521 You got a haircut. 323 00:07:05,564 --> 00:07:07,521 It looks nice. 324 00:07:07,562 --> 00:07:09,143 Oh, thanks. 325 00:07:09,185 --> 00:07:10,599 You also got a haircut 326 00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:12,391 at some point in your life. 327 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,638 I'm sure that's not 328 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,638 your baby hair. 329 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,472 That would be crazy. 330 00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:16,136 - But, uh... 331 00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:17,592 Yeah, you look very nice. 332 00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:19,674 Domo arigato. 333 00:07:19,715 --> 00:07:20,714 Do you speak Japanese? 334 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:22,629 - No. 335 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:22,629 - Oh. 336 00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:24,545 Uh... sorry. 337 00:07:24,585 --> 00:07:27,376 I think I'm feeling 338 00:07:24,585 --> 00:07:27,376 a little awkward. 339 00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:29,415 Yeah, me too. 340 00:07:29,457 --> 00:07:31,288 How do we make it 341 00:07:29,457 --> 00:07:31,288 not weird? 342 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:32,246 I know. 343 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,202 Let's just get 344 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,202 super drunk. 345 00:07:34,244 --> 00:07:35,574 Yes, great idea. 346 00:07:35,616 --> 00:07:36,782 Pardon me, ma'am. 347 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,613 Could you please bring us 348 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,613 four kamikaze shots? 349 00:07:38,655 --> 00:07:39,654 And four for me 350 00:07:38,655 --> 00:07:39,654 as well. 351 00:07:39,695 --> 00:07:41,237 Ah, I like your style. 352 00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:42,567 See, we can do this. 353 00:07:42,609 --> 00:07:43,526 We're back on track. 354 00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:46,273 We're keeping it 355 00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:46,273 light and breezy. 356 00:07:46,315 --> 00:07:50,269 So we broke a rule. 357 00:07:50,311 --> 00:07:51,435 Yeah. 358 00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:53,266 I hope it wasn't 359 00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:53,266 a mistake. 360 00:07:53,308 --> 00:07:55,389 "I Hope It Wasn't a Mistake," 361 00:07:53,308 --> 00:07:55,389 title of your sex tape? 362 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:58,178 Title of our sex tape. 363 00:08:00,799 --> 00:08:03,256 So how was the date 364 00:08:00,799 --> 00:08:03,256 with the floozy? 365 00:08:03,298 --> 00:08:06,045 We are not leaving these seats 366 00:08:03,298 --> 00:08:06,045 until you give me some deets. 367 00:08:07,502 --> 00:08:08,293 All right, fine. 368 00:08:08,335 --> 00:08:09,999 It started off 369 00:08:08,335 --> 00:08:09,999 a bit rocky, 370 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,372 but it ended up 371 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,372 being really fun. 372 00:08:12,414 --> 00:08:13,786 Did you kiss? 373 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:14,785 Did you french? 374 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,700 Boyle, I'm not 375 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,700 gonna answer that. 376 00:08:16,742 --> 00:08:19,115 And no one over the age 377 00:08:16,742 --> 00:08:19,115 of 12 says "french." 378 00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:21,570 Oh, that's a yes. 379 00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:21,570 Oh, my God, you had sex. 380 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,860 I can tell because 381 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,860 you're glowing. 382 00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:26,982 Ugh, Jake, no one wants 383 00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:26,982 to hear about your sex life. 384 00:08:27,024 --> 00:08:28,646 You just asked me 385 00:08:27,024 --> 00:08:28,646 repeatedly. 386 00:08:28,688 --> 00:08:30,313 Because I was rooting 387 00:08:28,688 --> 00:08:30,313 for you and Amy, 388 00:08:30,354 --> 00:08:32,227 but now I can see 389 00:08:30,354 --> 00:08:32,227 you're super serious 390 00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,932 about this anonymous 391 00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,932 gym seductress. 392 00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:36,847 Ugh, I'm so sorry, Amy. 393 00:08:36,889 --> 00:08:38,013 It doesn't matter to me. 394 00:08:38,054 --> 00:08:39,719 I'm... I would never date Jake. 395 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,968 I work with Jake. 396 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,384 I'd love to see you 397 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,384 date someone from work. 398 00:08:42,426 --> 00:08:43,673 Your head would explode. 399 00:08:43,715 --> 00:08:45,629 Your head would explode... 400 00:08:45,671 --> 00:08:47,961 because of how well 401 00:08:45,671 --> 00:08:47,961 I would handle it. 402 00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:49,917 Mm. Sick burn. 403 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:53,123 Peralta, Dozerman says 404 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:53,123 he wants to see you. 405 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,037 Captain, 406 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,037 everything all right? 407 00:09:00,865 --> 00:09:01,738 You tell me. 408 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,238 According 409 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,238 to your Dozer-pad, 410 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,651 four of your coworkers have 411 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,651 been gathered around your desk 412 00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:06,650 for the last 90 seconds. 413 00:09:06,692 --> 00:09:08,982 Also, someone named 414 00:09:06,692 --> 00:09:08,982 Norm Scully 415 00:09:09,023 --> 00:09:11,021 has been in the bathroom 416 00:09:09,023 --> 00:09:11,021 for the last 72 minutes. 417 00:09:11,063 --> 00:09:13,103 Oh, yeah, that means 418 00:09:11,063 --> 00:09:13,103 he's about halfway. 419 00:09:13,145 --> 00:09:14,809 But in regards 420 00:09:13,145 --> 00:09:14,809 to the coworkers, sir, 421 00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:17,514 I was telling them I wanted 422 00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:17,514 to get more work done, 423 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:20,054 but all they wanted to do 424 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:20,054 was talk about my dating life, 425 00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:22,427 knowing full well 426 00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:22,427 that my true love 427 00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:23,967 is efficiency. 428 00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:25,506 You know my motto, sir. 429 00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:27,629 Cho's before hos. 430 00:09:27,671 --> 00:09:29,045 "Cho's" is "chores." 431 00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:32,916 What? 432 00:09:34,664 --> 00:09:35,913 I like you. 433 00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:36,829 I could tell from 434 00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:36,829 the moment I walked in here 435 00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:37,953 that we were one 436 00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:37,953 and the same... 437 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,490 detail-oriented, 438 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,490 love crunching numbers. 439 00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:42,989 Bet your apartment's 440 00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:42,989 immaculate. 441 00:09:43,031 --> 00:09:43,738 Could probably eat 442 00:09:43,031 --> 00:09:43,738 off the floor. 443 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,320 - And I do. Yeah. 444 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,320 - Yeah. 445 00:09:46,362 --> 00:09:49,192 I'm gonna handle this for you. 446 00:09:46,362 --> 00:09:49,192 Okay. 447 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:53,063 I'm gonna send out 448 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:53,063 a Dozerblast. 449 00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:57,017 Hey, everyone stop talking 450 00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:57,017 about Peralta's personal life. 451 00:09:57,059 --> 00:10:00,721 Dozerblast over. 452 00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:02,969 Well, thank you 453 00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:02,969 very much, sir, 454 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:06,133 and might I just say that 455 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:06,133 this has been a Dozerblast. 456 00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,589 I saw what you did 457 00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,589 right there. 458 00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:08,588 Uh? 459 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:15,414 - Get back to work. 460 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:15,414 - Okay. 461 00:10:15,456 --> 00:10:16,580 I know you've been working 462 00:10:16,622 --> 00:10:18,080 on picking a name 463 00:10:16,622 --> 00:10:18,080 for the pigeon mascot 464 00:10:18,121 --> 00:10:20,078 for, uh... 465 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,243 Several months now. 466 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,449 I feel like you might 467 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,449 need a breather, 468 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,654 so I've prepared 469 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,654 an eight-point presentation 470 00:10:25,696 --> 00:10:27,279 on community engagement. 471 00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:29,069 We'll get to your 472 00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:29,069 presentation, Raymond. 473 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,068 It's on the agenda. 474 00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:32,232 Well, it says here 475 00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:32,232 it's scheduled 476 00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:34,064 "after everyone leaves." 477 00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,188 And not a minute later. 478 00:10:35,229 --> 00:10:37,019 Trent, Bryce, where 479 00:10:35,229 --> 00:10:37,019 are we with the name? 480 00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:38,933 We've narrowed it down 481 00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:38,933 to two choices... 482 00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:40,723 Petey or Paulie. 483 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,264 With all due respect, 484 00:10:42,306 --> 00:10:44,886 that pigeon is 485 00:10:42,306 --> 00:10:44,886 clearly a Ray J. 486 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:46,717 Hi. 487 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:46,717 Gina Linetti, 488 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:49,881 the human form 489 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:49,881 of the 100 emoji. 490 00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,129 I'd like to hear Captain 491 00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,129 Holt's thoughts on a name. 492 00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:54,294 Very well. 493 00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:54,294 My thoughts are... 494 00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:55,334 who cares? 495 00:10:55,374 --> 00:10:57,041 Give us a name, 496 00:10:55,374 --> 00:10:57,041 Raymond. 497 00:10:57,082 --> 00:10:58,081 Weigh in on this. 498 00:10:58,123 --> 00:11:00,038 It's your job now. 499 00:11:00,079 --> 00:11:00,995 No. 500 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,367 A name. 501 00:11:02,409 --> 00:11:04,075 Petey or Paulie, 502 00:11:02,409 --> 00:11:04,075 which is it? 503 00:11:04,117 --> 00:11:05,158 What does it matter? 504 00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:05,865 Why'd you even choose 505 00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:05,865 a pigeon anyway? 506 00:11:05,906 --> 00:11:06,947 It's a terrible mascot. 507 00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:08,196 Because they're 508 00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:08,196 a staple of New York, 509 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,901 they're nonthreatening, 510 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,901 and they're everywhere. 511 00:11:10,943 --> 00:11:11,984 They're carriers of disease, 512 00:11:12,026 --> 00:11:14,024 and they eat garbage! 513 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,396 Name the pigeon, 514 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,396 Raymond! 515 00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:17,978 - You can't make me. 516 00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:17,978 - I can make you, and I will. 517 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,018 Name the pigeon. 518 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,018 That's an order! 519 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:27,551 Paulie. 520 00:11:27,592 --> 00:11:28,633 Thank you. 521 00:11:28,675 --> 00:11:29,674 Was that so hard? 522 00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:33,213 Yeah, I'm trying 523 00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:33,213 to find some evidence. 524 00:11:33,255 --> 00:11:35,501 I'm just gonna 525 00:11:33,255 --> 00:11:35,501 look in here. 526 00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:37,292 Another perfect cover. 527 00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:37,292 Two for two. Nailed it. 528 00:11:37,332 --> 00:11:38,748 All right, 529 00:11:37,332 --> 00:11:38,748 I talked to Dozerman 530 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:41,288 and convinced him to outlaw 531 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:41,288 all personal talk at work. 532 00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:42,204 We're in the clear. 533 00:11:42,246 --> 00:11:43,410 And everyone 534 00:11:42,246 --> 00:11:43,410 hates you for that, 535 00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:46,407 but this is totally working, 536 00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:46,407 and no one knows. 537 00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,656 I know. 538 00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,656 It's the best. 539 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:48,613 And you know what? 540 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:48,613 I'm glad we broke the rule 541 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:49,821 and had sex 542 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:49,821 on the first date. 543 00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:52,818 Me too, 'cause we're, 544 00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:52,818 like, really good at it. 545 00:11:52,859 --> 00:11:54,565 - So good, right? 546 00:11:52,859 --> 00:11:54,565 - Stupid good. 547 00:11:54,607 --> 00:11:55,940 - It makes no sense. 548 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,022 We're light 549 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,022 and breezy. 550 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,020 If we want to break rules, 551 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,020 break rules. 552 00:11:59,062 --> 00:12:00,393 Like, what's another 553 00:11:59,062 --> 00:12:00,393 rule we could break? 554 00:12:00,434 --> 00:12:02,267 No making out at work. 555 00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:04,347 Okay, that's 556 00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:04,347 very flattering, Amy, 557 00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:07,137 but there are some rules 558 00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:07,137 that I shall never... 559 00:12:07,179 --> 00:12:09,135 - Let's go. 560 00:12:07,179 --> 00:12:09,135 - Okay. 561 00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:10,758 Warning. 562 00:12:09,177 --> 00:12:10,758 Unknown environment. 563 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,422 Unknown environment. 564 00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:13,964 What's that noise? 565 00:12:14,005 --> 00:12:15,336 I don't hear anything. 566 00:12:15,378 --> 00:12:17,211 Warning. 567 00:12:15,378 --> 00:12:17,211 Unknown environment. 568 00:12:17,252 --> 00:12:19,832 Unknown environment. 569 00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:22,746 Warning. 570 00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:22,746 Unknown environment. 571 00:12:22,788 --> 00:12:24,410 What? I put it up there 572 00:12:22,788 --> 00:12:24,410 for safe keeping. 573 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,868 - Safe keeping? 574 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,868 - Yeah. 575 00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:29,199 I had it on my desk, but 576 00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:29,199 I kept spilling coffee on it. 577 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,821 Oops. 578 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,821 Tamper alert. 579 00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:32,694 - Tamper alert. 580 00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:32,694 - Come on, Diaz. 581 00:12:32,736 --> 00:12:35,650 You two have been 582 00:12:32,736 --> 00:12:35,650 in this evidence locker for... 583 00:12:35,691 --> 00:12:38,106 Hey! 584 00:12:35,691 --> 00:12:38,106 What? Nothing. 585 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,188 Nothing... you were just 586 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,188 making out with Peralta. 587 00:12:40,229 --> 00:12:43,350 Ah, there's that candy bar 588 00:12:40,229 --> 00:12:43,350 wrapper I was looking for. 589 00:12:43,391 --> 00:12:44,766 Oh, Santiago, 590 00:12:43,391 --> 00:12:44,766 what are you doing here? 591 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,763 So I guess it is 592 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,763 hos before cho's 593 00:12:47,804 --> 00:12:49,260 with you, friend. 594 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,550 Now I understand why nothing 595 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,550 gets done in this precinct. 596 00:12:51,592 --> 00:12:54,049 The detectives are too busy 597 00:12:51,592 --> 00:12:54,049 frenching with each other, 598 00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:54,964 but you know what? 599 00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:57,336 Your little honeymoon 600 00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:57,336 is over! 601 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,249 'Cause as long as I'm here, 602 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,249 you two are done! 603 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:03,330 And I'm gonna be here 604 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:03,330 a long, long, long, 605 00:13:03,371 --> 00:13:05,244 long, long, long, 606 00:13:03,371 --> 00:13:05,244 long, long... 607 00:13:07,409 --> 00:13:08,491 Oh, this is a heart attack. 608 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:09,490 This right here, 609 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:09,490 this is a heart attack. 610 00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:11,322 Ooh, it's a big one. 611 00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:11,322 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 612 00:13:11,363 --> 00:13:13,071 Oh, oh, oh. 613 00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:14,154 I'm gonna get help. 614 00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:15,860 Sir, it's all right. 615 00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:15,860 We're getting help. 616 00:13:15,902 --> 00:13:16,817 Okay. 617 00:13:16,859 --> 00:13:20,938 Tell my wife 618 00:13:16,859 --> 00:13:20,938 that I love her... 619 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:22,895 work ethic. 620 00:13:30,179 --> 00:13:31,053 What happened 621 00:13:30,179 --> 00:13:31,053 in there? 622 00:13:31,095 --> 00:13:33,258 Nothing. 623 00:13:31,095 --> 00:13:33,258 We were just working, 624 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,465 separately. 625 00:13:34,507 --> 00:13:36,547 Yeah, and then Dozerman 626 00:13:34,507 --> 00:13:36,547 just came in and died. 627 00:13:36,589 --> 00:13:37,629 Peacefully, 628 00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:38,962 like an old cat. 629 00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:40,543 Can you think of anything 630 00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:42,791 that may have caused Dozerman 631 00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:42,791 to be startled? 632 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:44,455 - Ah... 633 00:13:44,497 --> 00:13:46,620 Nope. Uh... 634 00:13:46,662 --> 00:13:47,995 He might have 635 00:13:46,662 --> 00:13:47,995 been startled 636 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,034 by how far apart 637 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,034 we were standing. 638 00:13:50,076 --> 00:13:51,574 That seems unlikely, 639 00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:54,404 but obviously he had 640 00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:54,404 a ton of health problems, 641 00:13:54,445 --> 00:13:56,360 so, you know, this seems 642 00:13:54,445 --> 00:13:56,360 pretty open and shut. 643 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,233 Do me a favor and pull 644 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,233 the surveillance tapes. 645 00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:01,065 Right, 646 00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:01,065 the surveillance tapes. 647 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,854 Yep, because this is 648 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,854 a police precinct. 649 00:14:03,895 --> 00:14:06,559 You two have something 650 00:14:03,895 --> 00:14:06,559 to tell me? 651 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,808 All right, fine. 652 00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:11,887 Detective Santiago and I 653 00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:11,887 may have been in there 654 00:14:11,929 --> 00:14:12,928 snorking. 655 00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:14,342 Yes! 656 00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:15,716 Oh! 657 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:17,631 Wait. 658 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:17,631 What about the gym floozy? 659 00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:19,420 Amy was the gym floozy. 660 00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,252 The gym floozy 661 00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,252 was under my nose 662 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,251 the whole time. 663 00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:24,332 Oh, I am over the moon. 664 00:14:24,374 --> 00:14:26,123 - Okay. 665 00:14:24,374 --> 00:14:26,123 - Over the moon. 666 00:14:26,163 --> 00:14:27,913 - All right. 667 00:14:26,163 --> 00:14:27,913 - So what is this? 668 00:14:27,955 --> 00:14:28,954 Casual? Serious? 669 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,078 I need to know 670 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,078 how to make fun of you. 671 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,077 You guys dating? 672 00:14:31,118 --> 00:14:32,076 - Yes. 673 00:14:31,118 --> 00:14:32,076 - No. 674 00:14:32,117 --> 00:14:33,198 Oh, that's not good. 675 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,280 I mean, yes. 676 00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:35,363 I just said no 677 00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:35,363 because of the rules. 678 00:14:35,404 --> 00:14:37,112 We said we weren't 679 00:14:35,404 --> 00:14:37,112 gonna tell anyone. 680 00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:38,028 It's very new, 681 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,442 and we're still 682 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,442 figuring it out. 683 00:14:39,484 --> 00:14:41,232 Enough. 684 00:14:39,484 --> 00:14:41,232 Look. 685 00:14:41,273 --> 00:14:43,106 Terry loves love, 686 00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:47,142 but Terry also loves maintaining 687 00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:47,142 a professional work environment. 688 00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:48,683 As your commanding officer, 689 00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:52,014 I am very disappointed 690 00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:52,014 in both of you. 691 00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:57,549 - So, Boyle... 692 00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:57,549 - Mm. 693 00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:00,213 Let's go look at those 694 00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:00,213 surveillance tapes, yeah? 695 00:15:00,254 --> 00:15:03,543 - Oh, absolutely. 696 00:15:00,254 --> 00:15:03,543 - Mm. 697 00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:06,665 Captain, I know this 698 00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:06,665 isn't my place to say, 699 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,580 but Madeline Wuntch 700 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,580 is here to see you. 701 00:15:08,622 --> 00:15:10,286 Actually that's exactly 702 00:15:08,622 --> 00:15:10,286 your place to say. 703 00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:11,911 You are my assistant. 704 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,157 What precisely did you 705 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,157 think your job was? 706 00:15:14,199 --> 00:15:16,447 Ideally? 707 00:15:14,199 --> 00:15:16,447 Bullfighter. 708 00:15:16,489 --> 00:15:18,111 But it's such a boys' club. 709 00:15:18,153 --> 00:15:20,069 - Hmm. 710 00:15:18,153 --> 00:15:20,069 - Ooh. 711 00:15:20,109 --> 00:15:22,149 I like what you've done 712 00:15:20,109 --> 00:15:22,149 with your office, Raymond. 713 00:15:22,191 --> 00:15:23,315 It's cozy, 714 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,270 like a shoebox one buries 715 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,270 a dead hamster in. 716 00:15:26,312 --> 00:15:28,310 So what did you want 717 00:15:26,312 --> 00:15:28,310 to see me about? 718 00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:30,141 I'd like 719 00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:30,141 to propose a truce. 720 00:15:30,183 --> 00:15:31,390 Our feud is 721 00:15:30,183 --> 00:15:31,390 getting in the way 722 00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,931 of the NYPD's business. 723 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,261 Madeline, the PR 724 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,261 department is a joke. 725 00:15:35,303 --> 00:15:36,677 Their work here 726 00:15:35,303 --> 00:15:36,677 is meaningless. 727 00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:39,174 Nine weeks to choose 728 00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:39,174 the name Paulie. 729 00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:41,172 I knew instantly 730 00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:41,172 it should be Pepper, 731 00:15:41,213 --> 00:15:43,128 Officer Pepper O'Pigeon. 732 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,251 Maybe we should start 733 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,251 the whole naming process 734 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:46,667 all over again. 735 00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:49,205 I could turn this department 736 00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:49,205 around if you'd let me. 737 00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:49,998 You're wasting my talents. 738 00:15:50,039 --> 00:15:52,077 This man is a Timberlake, 739 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,242 and you need to stop 740 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,242 treating him like a Fatone. 741 00:15:54,284 --> 00:15:57,239 Yes, yes, 742 00:15:54,284 --> 00:15:57,239 perhaps you're right. 743 00:15:57,281 --> 00:15:59,320 Perhaps I am wasting 744 00:15:57,281 --> 00:15:59,320 your talents. 745 00:15:59,362 --> 00:16:03,150 I want you to spread 746 00:15:59,362 --> 00:16:03,150 your wings, as it were. 747 00:16:03,191 --> 00:16:05,231 I think we've found 748 00:16:03,191 --> 00:16:05,231 the perfect person 749 00:16:05,273 --> 00:16:06,605 to wear the pigeon costume. 750 00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:08,395 It's you, Raymond. 751 00:16:08,437 --> 00:16:10,309 Do we need to get 752 00:16:08,437 --> 00:16:10,309 the costume altered, 753 00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,057 or do you have 754 00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,057 your own pigeon pants? 755 00:16:12,099 --> 00:16:16,303 No, Madeline, I don't 756 00:16:12,099 --> 00:16:16,303 have my own pigeon pants. 757 00:16:16,345 --> 00:16:19,551 You are 758 00:16:16,345 --> 00:16:19,551 43 minutes behind. 759 00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,257 I know. 760 00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,257 Get off my back, computer ghost. 761 00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:23,130 Why are you still playing 762 00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:23,130 with that stupid game, Sarge? 763 00:16:23,171 --> 00:16:25,128 The guy is dead. 764 00:16:23,171 --> 00:16:25,128 It's not a game. 765 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,585 I'm following 766 00:16:25,169 --> 00:16:26,585 our captain's orders. 767 00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:27,793 His orders were stupid. 768 00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:30,081 I hated him more than 769 00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:30,081 any cop I've ever known. 770 00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:33,161 Whoa. 771 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:35,618 I just realized I'm never gonna 772 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:35,618 be able to say that to his face. 773 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,408 I mean, I could say it 774 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,408 to his wife at the funeral, 775 00:16:37,449 --> 00:16:38,573 but it won't be the same. 776 00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:40,154 He was trying to make 777 00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:40,154 our precinct better. 778 00:16:40,196 --> 00:16:41,904 Look. Holt's gone. 779 00:16:41,946 --> 00:16:42,945 Dozerman died. 780 00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,192 Who knows who we're 781 00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,192 getting next? 782 00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:46,023 I'm just trying to keep 783 00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:46,023 this place running. 784 00:16:46,065 --> 00:16:47,815 That's my job. 785 00:16:48,855 --> 00:16:49,854 Case cleared! 786 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,017 Yeah, how do you 787 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,017 like me now, sucker? 788 00:16:52,059 --> 00:16:55,098 I mean, 789 00:16:52,059 --> 00:16:55,098 I hope you found peace. 790 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,346 Hey, so everybody 791 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,346 knows about us now, 792 00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:59,219 which means all the rules 793 00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:59,219 have been broken 794 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,259 and nothing bad happened. 795 00:17:00,301 --> 00:17:01,592 Nothing bad happened? 796 00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,047 Terry yelled at us, 797 00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,047 and we killed our captain. 798 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,962 Jake, is this a bad idea? 799 00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:08,919 It seems like the universe 800 00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:08,919 is sending us a lot of signs 801 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,041 that we should 802 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,041 hit the brakes. 803 00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:12,081 Hasn't exactly been 804 00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:12,081 light and breezy. 805 00:17:12,122 --> 00:17:13,995 Yeah, it's been 806 00:17:12,122 --> 00:17:13,995 a little more 807 00:17:14,037 --> 00:17:15,662 stressful and death-y. 808 00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:17,910 You have to admit 809 00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:17,910 it hasn't started out great. 810 00:17:17,951 --> 00:17:20,239 What do you want 811 00:17:17,951 --> 00:17:20,239 to do, then? 812 00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:22,696 Go back to being colleagues? 813 00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:23,862 Yeah. 814 00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:26,108 Maybe that's what it 815 00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:26,108 needs to be right now. 816 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,522 Okay. 817 00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:31,103 Okay. 818 00:17:32,144 --> 00:17:33,185 Sorry. 819 00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:40,678 No, no, no, no, 820 00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:40,678 no, no, no, no, no... 821 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,092 Boyle, can we please 822 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,092 just go to dinner? 823 00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:43,675 No, no, no, no, no! 824 00:17:43,717 --> 00:17:46,088 This is not how you and Amy 825 00:17:43,717 --> 00:17:46,088 are supposed to end. 826 00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,504 You're supposed to grow old 827 00:17:47,546 --> 00:17:48,629 and die holding each other 828 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:50,793 as your cruise ship 829 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:50,793 slowly takes on water. 830 00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:51,876 What do you 831 00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:51,876 want me to say? 832 00:17:51,917 --> 00:17:52,750 We tried really hard. 833 00:17:51,917 --> 00:17:52,750 We made rules. 834 00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:54,623 We kept it light 835 00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:54,623 and breezy. 836 00:17:54,664 --> 00:17:55,830 Light and breezy? 837 00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:56,829 Ow! 838 00:17:56,871 --> 00:17:58,201 Light and breezy 839 00:17:56,871 --> 00:17:58,201 is how you describe 840 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,534 a linen pantsuit, 841 00:17:59,576 --> 00:18:01,574 not a relationship 842 00:17:59,576 --> 00:18:01,574 you care about. 843 00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:03,113 We were just 844 00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:03,113 being cautious. 845 00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,944 - Cautious? 846 00:18:03,155 --> 00:18:04,944 - Ow! 847 00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:07,234 You guys started this 848 00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:07,234 with one foot out the door. 849 00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:09,107 That's what doomed you, 850 00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:09,107 not the universe. 851 00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:10,815 Actually, it makes 852 00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:10,815 a lot of sense. 853 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,186 Ow, I was agreeing 854 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,186 with you! 855 00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:14,185 I'm sorry. 856 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,602 I'm just so excited 857 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,602 about all this! 858 00:18:15,643 --> 00:18:16,932 All right, 859 00:18:15,643 --> 00:18:16,932 so what do I do? 860 00:18:16,974 --> 00:18:18,181 Tell me. 861 00:18:16,974 --> 00:18:18,181 Easy. 862 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,638 You march over there, 863 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,638 you tell her how you feel, 864 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,261 and you bring a fancy bottle 865 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,261 of lavender shampoo, 866 00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:23,552 because shampooing 867 00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:23,552 a woman's head 868 00:18:23,594 --> 00:18:24,676 is the most erotic thing 869 00:18:23,594 --> 00:18:24,676 you could ever possibly... 870 00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:26,799 No, no, no shampoo. 871 00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:26,799 That's the worst. 872 00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:28,171 But I am gonna 873 00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:28,171 go over there. 874 00:18:28,213 --> 00:18:29,462 I'm gonna tell her 875 00:18:28,213 --> 00:18:29,462 how I feel. 876 00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:30,461 Yes! 877 00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:30,461 Go get her. 878 00:18:30,503 --> 00:18:32,668 No! 879 00:18:30,503 --> 00:18:32,668 Wait till it starts raining. 880 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:33,999 No, that's crazy. 881 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:33,999 Go now. 882 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:34,956 Okay. 883 00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:39,160 Ahh! 884 00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:39,160 Sorry! Sorry. 885 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,702 It's okay. 886 00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:41,949 I was home, 887 00:18:41,991 --> 00:18:44,946 and I really wanted 888 00:18:41,991 --> 00:18:44,946 to talk to someone about us 889 00:18:44,988 --> 00:18:46,902 and Dozerman 890 00:18:44,988 --> 00:18:46,902 and about Holt being gone, 891 00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:49,359 and then I realized 892 00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:49,359 that the only person 893 00:18:49,401 --> 00:18:52,273 I want to talk about that 894 00:18:49,401 --> 00:18:52,273 stuff with is you. 895 00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:55,645 So screw just being 896 00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:55,645 colleagues, 897 00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:58,100 and screw light 898 00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:58,100 and breezy, right? 899 00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,097 Definitely. 900 00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:03,885 Guys, we did it. 901 00:19:03,927 --> 00:19:05,468 We really did it. 902 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:07,049 Oh, Charles is here. 903 00:19:07,091 --> 00:19:08,090 Big time. 904 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:10,713 Captain. 905 00:19:10,755 --> 00:19:12,918 The kids want to know 906 00:19:10,755 --> 00:19:12,918 where Paulie the Pigeon is. 907 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,958 I told 'em he got sucked up 908 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,958 into an airplane engine. 909 00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,040 Is that all right? 910 00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:18,372 I can't put that 911 00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:18,372 pigeon head on, Gina. 912 00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,537 Wuntch has defeated me. 913 00:19:20,578 --> 00:19:21,744 This is how it ends, 914 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,492 with me standing on 915 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,492 the urine-soaked floor 916 00:19:23,534 --> 00:19:24,906 of an elementary 917 00:19:23,534 --> 00:19:24,906 school bathroom 918 00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:27,821 in a third-rate 919 00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:27,821 bird costume. 920 00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:28,985 - I quit. 921 00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:28,985 - No. 922 00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:31,899 I did not follow you to PR 923 00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:31,899 to watch you quit. 924 00:19:31,941 --> 00:19:34,272 I followed you 925 00:19:31,941 --> 00:19:34,272 because you're great 926 00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:37,019 and because you make 927 00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:37,019 everything you touch better, 928 00:19:37,061 --> 00:19:40,058 and I figured PR 929 00:19:37,061 --> 00:19:40,058 would be the easiest path 930 00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:42,846 to launching my reality show 931 00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:42,846 "Linetti, Set, Go." 932 00:19:42,888 --> 00:19:44,928 I thought your reality 933 00:19:42,888 --> 00:19:44,928 show was to be called 934 00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:45,803 "Gina in a Bottle." 935 00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:48,217 No, that was 936 00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:48,217 my fragrance line. 937 00:19:48,258 --> 00:19:49,549 Keep up. 938 00:19:49,591 --> 00:19:50,963 Listen. 939 00:19:51,005 --> 00:19:53,253 You cannot let Wuntch 940 00:19:51,005 --> 00:19:53,253 defeat you. 941 00:19:53,295 --> 00:19:54,586 That is not who you are. 942 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,874 You are a person 943 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,874 who will go out there 944 00:19:56,916 --> 00:19:59,748 and deliver his eight-point plan 945 00:19:56,916 --> 00:19:59,748 on whatever, whatever. 946 00:19:59,789 --> 00:20:01,579 - Community engagement. 947 00:19:59,789 --> 00:20:01,579 - Whatever. 948 00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:03,867 Even if the only 949 00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:03,867 people listening 950 00:20:03,909 --> 00:20:06,032 are a bunch of second graders, 951 00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:08,862 because Captain Raymond Holt 952 00:20:08,904 --> 00:20:11,402 never gives up! 953 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,858 Inspiring words. 954 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,608 I'm going to give 955 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,608 that speech. 956 00:20:14,649 --> 00:20:17,396 Help me with that 957 00:20:14,649 --> 00:20:17,396 pigeon head. 958 00:20:17,438 --> 00:20:19,728 Yeah, all right. 959 00:20:21,476 --> 00:20:24,014 Let's blow some tiny minds. 960 00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:29,050 Rosa Diaz, you are 961 00:20:25,803 --> 00:20:29,050 six hours ahead of schedule. 962 00:20:29,092 --> 00:20:30,550 Great job. 963 00:20:30,592 --> 00:20:32,047 Wow, Diaz. 964 00:20:32,089 --> 00:20:34,129 That's the first time 965 00:20:32,089 --> 00:20:34,129 I've seen him smile. 966 00:20:34,171 --> 00:20:35,211 I didn't do it for him. 967 00:20:35,253 --> 00:20:36,752 I did it 'cause it's my job. 968 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,915 - We cool? 969 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,915 - We're cool. 970 00:20:38,957 --> 00:20:41,330 Good. 971 00:20:42,663 --> 00:20:44,453 Damage. 972 00:20:42,663 --> 00:20:44,453 Critical damage. 973 00:20:48,574 --> 00:20:50,987 There's a rumor the new 974 00:20:48,574 --> 00:20:50,987 captain'll be here today. 975 00:20:51,028 --> 00:20:53,610 Now, I don't know 976 00:20:51,028 --> 00:20:53,610 who Wuntch is sending us, 977 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,191 but it doesn't matter, 978 00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:57,064 because we're a family, 979 00:20:57,106 --> 00:20:58,105 we're strong, 980 00:20:58,147 --> 00:21:00,603 and together, 981 00:20:58,147 --> 00:21:00,603 we can do anything. 982 00:21:00,645 --> 00:21:02,808 Nine-Nine! 983 00:21:00,645 --> 00:21:02,808 Nine-Nine! 984 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,179 What's up, ding-dongs? 985 00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:08,387 I'm your new captain. 986 00:21:08,429 --> 00:21:09,968 - The Vulture. 987 00:21:08,429 --> 00:21:09,968 - No. 988 00:21:10,009 --> 00:21:10,967 Still hot. 989 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,798 Now, I know we have 990 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,798 our history, 991 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,714 me vulturing your cases, 992 00:21:14,754 --> 00:21:16,629 me telling you 993 00:21:14,754 --> 00:21:16,629 to eat my farts, 994 00:21:16,671 --> 00:21:17,711 but that's all in the past, 995 00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:18,834 'cause now that I run 996 00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:18,834 this precinct, 997 00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:23,455 things are gonna get 998 00:21:18,875 --> 00:21:23,455 much, much worse. 999 00:21:23,497 --> 00:21:24,994 So suck it. 1000 00:21:25,036 --> 00:21:27,618 No! 1001 00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,864 - Not a doctor. 1002 00:21:27,866 --> 00:21:29,864 - Shh.