1 00:00:01,484 --> 00:00:02,610 Good morning, Boyle. 2 00:00:04,154 --> 00:00:06,281 It's Halloween... I'm surprised 3 00:00:04,154 --> 00:00:06,281 you didn't put on a costume. 4 00:00:06,322 --> 00:00:08,658 I was going to, sir, 5 00:00:06,322 --> 00:00:08,658 but then I decided, 6 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:10,326 "screw that jazz." 7 00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:12,412 Well, I'm the only one 8 00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:12,412 who ever dresses up, 9 00:00:12,453 --> 00:00:14,205 no one ever gets 10 00:00:12,453 --> 00:00:14,205 my costume, 11 00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,124 and they make fun of me... 12 00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,124 so I'm done. 13 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:18,710 These people don't deserve 14 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:18,710 my dress-up gifts. 15 00:00:19,878 --> 00:00:22,255 Charles, seriously? 16 00:00:22,297 --> 00:00:23,298 No costume? 17 00:00:23,339 --> 00:00:24,424 What the hell, Charles? 18 00:00:24,465 --> 00:00:25,550 Where's your 19 00:00:24,465 --> 00:00:25,550 Halloween spirit? 20 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,011 But you guys always 21 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,011 make fun of me. 22 00:00:28,052 --> 00:00:31,514 I have never once 23 00:00:28,052 --> 00:00:31,514 insulted you in my life, 24 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:33,892 especially vis-a-vis 25 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:33,892 your appearance. 26 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,643 Yeah, man, we always 27 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,643 love your costumes. 28 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:38,646 Remember last year, 29 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:38,646 when you came as that 30 00:00:38,688 --> 00:00:40,190 person and/or thing? 31 00:00:40,231 --> 00:00:41,608 Yes, I do remember! 32 00:00:41,649 --> 00:00:44,736 Sir, permission to sprint 33 00:00:41,649 --> 00:00:44,736 to my car and get 34 00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:45,862 my emergency costume? 35 00:00:45,904 --> 00:00:46,696 Does it matter 36 00:00:45,904 --> 00:00:46,696 if I say no? 37 00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:47,572 No! 38 00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:56,080 Abam, bam, boom. 39 00:00:57,665 --> 00:00:58,917 What the... what... 40 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,627 Why are you dressed up? 41 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,627 You look like an idiot. 42 00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:01,753 But... but... 43 00:01:01,794 --> 00:01:03,296 Yeah, what are you 44 00:01:01,794 --> 00:01:03,296 supposed to be, 45 00:01:03,338 --> 00:01:04,839 a sassy car mechanic? 46 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:08,092 No, come on... he's clearly 47 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:08,092 the rejected Pop-Tarts mascot, 48 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,302 Harry Pop-Tart. 49 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,095 I am not! 50 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,095 You know who I am! 51 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,847 Squad, that's enough... 52 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,847 you're making Boyle 53 00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:13,848 feel bad on purpose. 54 00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,308 - He's Elvis. 55 00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,308 - Yes! 56 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,935 Elvis Stojko, 57 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,935 the Canadian figure skater. 58 00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:17,810 No! 59 00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:40,458 Attention, squad: 60 00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:40,458 today is the most 61 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,502 important day in the 62 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,502 history of this precinct. 63 00:01:42,543 --> 00:01:46,422 For today is Halloween... 64 00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:48,007 I thought we were going to 65 00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:48,007 say it together. 66 00:01:48,049 --> 00:01:49,133 - I never agreed to that. 67 00:01:48,049 --> 00:01:49,133 - All right. 68 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,635 As you may know, 69 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,635 for the past two years, 70 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,638 Captain Holt and I have engaged 71 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,638 in an epic battle of wits. 72 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,183 The goal: to determine 73 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,183 who must call the other 74 00:01:56,225 --> 00:01:58,351 an amazing 75 00:01:56,225 --> 00:01:58,351 detective/genius. 76 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:01,062 The first year, 77 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:01,062 by sheer, dumb luck, 78 00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:02,897 Jake eked out a feeble victory. 79 00:02:02,939 --> 00:02:04,357 And last year, I let 80 00:02:02,939 --> 00:02:04,357 the captain win, 81 00:02:04,399 --> 00:02:06,193 because he's old and sad. 82 00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,069 Sad because the competition 83 00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,069 was so dismal. 84 00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,362 Is this meeting 85 00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:09,362 about something? 86 00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,780 It's about everything. 87 00:02:10,822 --> 00:02:12,031 This year's the tie-breaker, 88 00:02:12,073 --> 00:02:13,866 a final heist to decide 89 00:02:12,073 --> 00:02:13,866 once and for all 90 00:02:13,908 --> 00:02:16,035 the true king of the nine-nine. 91 00:02:16,077 --> 00:02:18,788 Halloween Heist III: 92 00:02:16,077 --> 00:02:18,788 The Heistening. Tagline? 93 00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,790 This year we both attempt 94 00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:20,790 to steal the same object 95 00:02:20,832 --> 00:02:22,667 instead of Jake attempting 96 00:02:20,832 --> 00:02:22,667 to steal one from me. 97 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,212 I gave you one direction 98 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,212 on the tagline... snappy. 99 00:02:25,254 --> 00:02:28,631 But yes, we will be attempting 100 00:02:25,254 --> 00:02:28,631 to steal the same item... 101 00:02:28,673 --> 00:02:29,924 this. 102 00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,384 The crown will be locked 103 00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,384 in this briefcase, 104 00:02:31,426 --> 00:02:34,179 which in turn will be locked 105 00:02:31,426 --> 00:02:34,179 in the interrogation room. 106 00:02:38,975 --> 00:02:41,060 Didn't sing it with me. 107 00:02:41,102 --> 00:02:42,145 We will need help, 108 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,396 so to be fair, 109 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,396 we're holding a draft. 110 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:44,939 The captain and I have 111 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:44,939 given up our overtime, 112 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:47,400 so everyone who participates 113 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:47,400 will get the night off... captain? 114 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,485 With the first pick 115 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,485 of the draft, I choose... 116 00:02:49,527 --> 00:02:51,155 Terry. 117 00:02:51,196 --> 00:02:53,781 Okay, brawns over brains. 118 00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:55,200 All right, I take Charles. 119 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,576 I get it. Close friend. 120 00:02:56,617 --> 00:02:57,827 - I pick Gina. 121 00:02:56,617 --> 00:02:57,827 - Gina? 122 00:02:57,869 --> 00:02:59,163 I take Rosa. 123 00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:00,164 What? 124 00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:02,582 Okay, all right. 125 00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:02,582 Well, Captain... 126 00:03:02,623 --> 00:03:04,209 that leaves me with you. 127 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,127 Let's do this. 128 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,127 Hang on, Santiago. 129 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:07,587 I'm not sure I can 130 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:07,587 trust you. 131 00:03:07,628 --> 00:03:12,091 You're Peralta's paramour; 132 00:03:07,628 --> 00:03:12,091 maybe you should be on his team. 133 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,801 No, no, no... 134 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,801 Amy would do anything 135 00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:16,429 to win your approval, 136 00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:16,429 including pretending 137 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,431 to be in a relationship with me 138 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,431 for the past few weeks 139 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,141 only to betray me now. 140 00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:22,060 Jake, you are majorly 141 00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:22,060 overthinking this. 142 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,437 Maybe, but it's a risk 143 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,437 I'm not willing to take. 144 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,857 - You're not on my team, Amy. 145 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,857 - Yeah, Amy's out. 146 00:03:27,899 --> 00:03:30,277 By midnight, 147 00:03:27,899 --> 00:03:30,277 whoever has the crown 148 00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:33,197 will be the king 149 00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:33,197 of the nine-nine. 150 00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:35,448 Uh, Hitchcock and I 151 00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:35,448 still haven't been chosen. 152 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,075 - I'm good. 153 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,075 - Me too. 154 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:43,998 So, I see you've been assigned 155 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:43,998 to guard the briefcase too. 156 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,212 Yup, I'm not supposed to let 157 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,212 it or you out of my sight, 158 00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:50,046 if that even is you. 159 00:03:50,088 --> 00:03:52,715 Ow, that's my face! 160 00:03:52,757 --> 00:03:55,093 Oh, sorry... I thought it was a 161 00:03:52,757 --> 00:03:55,093 cheap, rubber mask. 162 00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:57,553 Well, I have exciting news. 163 00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:59,764 I found the perfect guy 164 00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:59,764 to set you up with. 165 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:04,018 After zero consideration, 166 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:04,018 I'm happy to say, "hard pass." 167 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,230 Come on, our parents 168 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,230 are married. 169 00:04:06,271 --> 00:04:07,814 Genevieve and I are dating. 170 00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:09,607 I want you to have 171 00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:09,607 someone too. 172 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,360 - You shouldn't have to 173 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,819 slow-dance alone 174 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,819 after family dinner. 175 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,695 How did my life come to this? 176 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,157 Charles, it's very sweet 177 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,157 that you want to 178 00:04:17,199 --> 00:04:18,741 set me up with someone, 179 00:04:18,783 --> 00:04:21,619 but I do not trust your taste 180 00:04:18,783 --> 00:04:21,619 in guys at all. 181 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,579 I have spectacular taste 182 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,579 in men. 183 00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:25,207 You would love Nadia. 184 00:04:25,249 --> 00:04:26,499 His name is Nadia? 185 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,043 Oh, all of a sudden 186 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,043 Nadia's not a cool name? 187 00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:31,587 You are impossible. 188 00:04:31,629 --> 00:04:33,923 - Here, got it? 189 00:04:31,629 --> 00:04:33,923 - Got it. 190 00:04:37,885 --> 00:04:39,554 Hey, Jake. 191 00:04:37,885 --> 00:04:39,554 Can we talk? 192 00:04:39,595 --> 00:04:41,097 Yeah. 193 00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,392 You really hurt my feelings 194 00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,392 by leaving me off your team. 195 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,852 Oh, I had no idea 196 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,852 you felt that way. 197 00:04:45,893 --> 00:04:48,020 Well, it doesn't feel great 198 00:04:45,893 --> 00:04:48,020 to be left out. 199 00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:50,731 Right, totally, I get it. 200 00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:50,731 I'm sorry... 201 00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:51,899 Captain Holt! 202 00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:54,110 What? Why are you yelling 203 00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:54,110 at my boobs? 204 00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,653 Because that's where 205 00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,653 the camera is. 206 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,322 Nice try, Ray-Ray! 207 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:58,573 There's no camera, Jake. 208 00:04:58,614 --> 00:04:59,866 I was being serious. 209 00:04:59,907 --> 00:05:02,660 Okay fine... if you're 210 00:04:59,907 --> 00:05:02,660 telling the truth, 211 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,079 then I sincerely 212 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,079 apologize. 213 00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:08,417 But since you're not, 214 00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:08,417 I will defeat you! 215 00:05:10,751 --> 00:05:13,546 Ahhh! Gah! Scary witch! 216 00:05:13,588 --> 00:05:14,547 Scary, so scary! 217 00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,798 Amy, don't feel bad. 218 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,675 You can get in on 219 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,675 my bet with Scully. 220 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,552 At midnight tonight, 221 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,552 we will steal 222 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,180 his foot fungus cream. 223 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,556 Thanks, that's very kind 224 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,556 of you to include me, 225 00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:24,807 but I'll have to pass. 226 00:05:24,849 --> 00:05:26,351 The mind games have 227 00:05:24,849 --> 00:05:26,351 already begun. 228 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,644 - No, I'm not part of this. 229 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,644 - Oh, of course not. 230 00:05:28,686 --> 00:05:31,063 Neither am I. 231 00:05:28,686 --> 00:05:31,063 Wink. 232 00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:32,274 Ugh. 233 00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:34,609 I'm not going to meet 234 00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:34,609 my next boyfriend 235 00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:35,985 through a Charles set-up. 236 00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,863 I'm going to meet him in an 237 00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,863 illegal dance competition 238 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,907 in an abandoned 239 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,907 subway tunnel. 240 00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:44,453 It's go time, Boyle. 241 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,828 Holt and Terry have closed 242 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,828 the blinds... release the roaches. 243 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:48,873 Alternately, he could win 244 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:48,873 an illegal street race 245 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,917 in which my love is the prize. 246 00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,127 Oh, my God! Gina, look! 247 00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,127 Roaches! 248 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,670 - Look! 249 00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:58,175 Ew, Charles, kill them with 250 00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:58,175 whatever cologne you're wearing! 251 00:05:58,217 --> 00:05:59,634 No, I can't! 252 00:05:58,217 --> 00:05:59,634 They're moving too fast! 253 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,179 I can't kill them! 254 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,179 It's pandemonium! 255 00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,139 If I die, turn my Tweets 256 00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,139 into a book! 257 00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:07,975 Commence operation, 258 00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:07,975 "Oh crap, wrong vent." 259 00:06:08,017 --> 00:06:11,604 - Oh crap, wrong vent. 260 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:12,897 This was a mistake. 261 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,899 Nice try, losers. 262 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,899 You blew it. 263 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,235 Yeah, we totally blew it. 264 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,362 And all because Boyle 265 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,362 marked the wrong vent. 266 00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:21,656 It's not my fault... I thought 267 00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:21,656 it was the right vent. 268 00:06:21,697 --> 00:06:24,368 - Unbelievable, mister. 269 00:06:21,697 --> 00:06:24,368 - You are, mister. 270 00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:26,953 I'm having trouble even 271 00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:26,953 believing you at all right now. 272 00:06:26,994 --> 00:06:29,622 That is the last time 273 00:06:26,994 --> 00:06:29,622 I let Charles mark a vent. 274 00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,333 I'm normally great 275 00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,333 at marking vents. 276 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,750 Lock picked. 277 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,671 Never, ever, never, ever, 278 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:36,671 ever, never, ever, ever, 279 00:06:36,712 --> 00:06:40,049 never, ever, will I ever, 280 00:06:36,712 --> 00:06:40,049 never, ever, ever, ever, 281 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,718 ever, never, never, never... 282 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,718 I forgive you, and good-bye. 283 00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,723 Wow, you should have 284 00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,723 seen us, Rosa. 285 00:06:47,765 --> 00:06:49,141 Charles and I 286 00:06:47,765 --> 00:06:49,141 were amazing. 287 00:06:49,184 --> 00:06:50,685 I somersaulted 288 00:06:49,184 --> 00:06:50,685 through a window, 289 00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:52,354 cut the crown out of 290 00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:52,354 a briefcase, 291 00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:54,647 and replaced everything 292 00:06:52,396 --> 00:06:54,647 in under a minute. 293 00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:55,982 Yeah, I guess you 294 00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:55,982 helped a little. 295 00:06:56,023 --> 00:06:58,901 But our fake argument 296 00:06:56,023 --> 00:06:58,901 was super convincing. 297 00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:00,778 And all of a sudden, 298 00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:00,778 we had to make it longer, 299 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,655 and we did. 300 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,074 Anyways, now all we gotta do 301 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,074 is guard this drawer 302 00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:07,327 until midnight, 303 00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:07,327 and the best part about it is 304 00:07:07,369 --> 00:07:10,663 Captain Holt has 305 00:07:07,369 --> 00:07:10,663 absolutely no idea. 306 00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:13,458 He is such a fool. 307 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,378 Yes, I'm the fool. 308 00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:18,422 You fool. 309 00:07:18,463 --> 00:07:19,964 So we wanted Jake 310 00:07:18,463 --> 00:07:19,964 to take the crown? 311 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,301 Sergeant, are you familiar 312 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,301 with the Hungarian fencing term, 313 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,884 Hosszú Gorcs? 314 00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,304 You must realize 315 00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,304 my answer is no. 316 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,887 It's a strategy of 317 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,887 letting your opponent 318 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:29,807 win points early to give them 319 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:29,807 a sense of overconfidence, 320 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:33,686 thus exposing a much easier 321 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:33,686 target for you later. 322 00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:35,439 You think he's 323 00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:35,439 overconfident enough? 324 00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:39,568 I'm the smartest man alive. 325 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:40,985 I'm never gonna die. 326 00:07:43,155 --> 00:07:45,365 Sir, do you have a minute? 327 00:07:45,407 --> 00:07:46,366 Of course. 328 00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:48,075 Jeffords, 329 00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:48,075 we'll rendezvous later. 330 00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,461 Sir, I want to 331 00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,461 talk about Jake. 332 00:07:57,502 --> 00:07:59,712 - Okay... 333 00:07:57,502 --> 00:07:59,712 - Amy! Help! 334 00:07:59,754 --> 00:08:01,590 Our foot fungus heist 335 00:07:59,754 --> 00:08:01,590 has gone sideways! 336 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,007 Hitchcock, not now. 337 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,509 Scully doesn't know 338 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,509 I'm in here. 339 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,178 I stole his foot cream, 340 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,178 but then I lost it. 341 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,721 Amy, you're the only hope 342 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,721 I have of finding it. 343 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,097 You're a detective. 344 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,725 You're a detective! 345 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,725 Get out of here! 346 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:16,020 Go! 347 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,813 Sir, Jake really pissed me off, 348 00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:19,732 and I want to help you 349 00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:19,732 take him down. 350 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,277 Well, that's an 351 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,277 intriguing proposition. 352 00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:24,237 You certainly 353 00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:24,237 could be useful... 354 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:25,197 Thank you. 355 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,324 To Jake! 356 00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:31,203 I got you, Peralta! 357 00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:31,203 You're not fooling anyone! 358 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,205 Why does everyone think 359 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,205 that's where a camera would be? 360 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,957 Because the cleavage cloaks 361 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,957 the camera with its curves. 362 00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:39,586 That will be all, spy. 363 00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:43,548 - Sorry I said cleavage. 364 00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:43,548 - Mm-hmm. 365 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:47,134 Charles, that is so nasty you 366 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:47,134 put cockroaches in your pants. 367 00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:48,803 When you say it 368 00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:48,803 like that, yeah. 369 00:08:48,844 --> 00:08:50,054 But Jake made it sound so cool. 370 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,055 How? 371 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,392 Oh, I wasn't 372 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,392 expecting anyone. 373 00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:58,771 - Come in, Nadia. 374 00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:58,771 - Hey, Charles. 375 00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,939 What up, bro? 376 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:02,150 Gina, this was the boy 377 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:02,150 I was telling you about. 378 00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:03,652 You're Nadia? 379 00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,446 Well, my real name's Leo; 380 00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,446 Nadia's just my tag. 381 00:09:06,488 --> 00:09:08,948 I don't love it, but when Banksy 382 00:09:06,488 --> 00:09:08,948 gives you a nickname, 383 00:09:08,989 --> 00:09:10,032 it just sticks. 384 00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,660 Okay, I see what's 385 00:09:10,074 --> 00:09:11,660 going on here. 386 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,078 This isn't a setup... 387 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,078 this is a setup. 388 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,957 And all of this is supposed to 389 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,957 distract me from the heist. 390 00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:20,335 - The heist? 391 00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:20,335 The heist? 392 00:09:20,377 --> 00:09:22,379 You shut your hot lips. 393 00:09:22,421 --> 00:09:23,838 Charles, I don't buy it. 394 00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:26,132 This is an obvious trap, okay? 395 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,218 Who are you, really, hmm? 396 00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:31,638 You some male prostitute 397 00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:31,638 that Charles busted 398 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,014 out on some 399 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,014 lonely pier somewhere? 400 00:09:34,056 --> 00:09:35,850 Well, guess what, sweetie? 401 00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:39,019 This is one trick you ain't 402 00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:39,019 gonna be turning tonight. 403 00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,522 I'm not a prostitute. 404 00:09:40,564 --> 00:09:41,523 Okay. 405 00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:44,024 Right. 406 00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:44,024 Bye-bye, whore. 407 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,195 It's go time, Sergeant. 408 00:09:51,283 --> 00:09:52,617 Hey, Rosa. 409 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:55,035 I'm not saying these are 410 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:55,035 from your motorcycle, 411 00:09:55,077 --> 00:09:57,706 but I found these 412 00:09:55,077 --> 00:09:57,706 stripped handlebars outside. 413 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,459 You better not have messed 414 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,459 with my bike for this heist. 415 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,335 Let me remind you 416 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,335 I'm carrying a weapon. 417 00:10:02,377 --> 00:10:03,670 We all have 418 00:10:02,377 --> 00:10:03,670 the same weapons. 419 00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:06,922 Damn, Rosa! 420 00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:06,922 Where'd you get that? 421 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,345 The scorpion has left the nest. 422 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,274 And... 423 00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:25,275 Ding. 424 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,110 See Daddy? 425 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,110 Come on. 426 00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:31,156 Time for the twin twist. 427 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,283 - Hey, Jake. 428 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,283 - Hey, you guys. 429 00:10:33,325 --> 00:10:35,160 We wanted to surprise Terry; 430 00:10:33,325 --> 00:10:35,160 have you seen him? 431 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,827 Oh, he just went downstairs 432 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,827 for a bit, 433 00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:37,953 but he should be back soon. 434 00:10:37,995 --> 00:10:39,539 Oh. Cagney? Lacey? 435 00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,832 Do you guys want to take 436 00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,832 a picture with Uncle Jake? 437 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,210 - Yeah! 438 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,002 You don't mind, do you? 439 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,880 Um ... 440 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,880 no, of course not. 441 00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:49,216 That would be so fun. 442 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,550 What if we do it 443 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,550 in the briefing room, 444 00:10:50,592 --> 00:10:52,260 like you're assigning them 445 00:10:50,592 --> 00:10:52,260 a case? 446 00:10:52,302 --> 00:10:54,554 No, I mean, 447 00:10:52,302 --> 00:10:54,554 you know what would be fun... 448 00:10:54,596 --> 00:10:56,138 even more that that... 449 00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:59,309 is if we took a picture 450 00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:59,309 right here, 451 00:10:59,351 --> 00:11:00,935 and I could have 452 00:10:59,351 --> 00:11:00,935 my hand on this cabinet. 453 00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:01,977 Okay. 454 00:11:03,313 --> 00:11:05,524 - Nailed it. 455 00:11:03,313 --> 00:11:05,524 - Here we go. 456 00:11:06,941 --> 00:11:08,777 Oh, God, it was in 457 00:11:06,941 --> 00:11:08,777 video mode... sorry. 458 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,446 Take your time; 459 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,446 I could do this all day. 460 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,240 Matter of fact, 461 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,240 what if we did one 462 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,700 where I had both hands 463 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,700 on the cabinet... 464 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,911 one on top, and then one 465 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,911 on the front? 466 00:11:18,953 --> 00:11:20,497 Looks good, yeah. 467 00:11:20,539 --> 00:11:24,917 All right, smile... 468 00:11:20,539 --> 00:11:24,917 three, two, one... 469 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,629 Cheese! Very good. 470 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:29,922 Great, you guys. 471 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:29,922 Let's go find Daddy. 472 00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:33,218 - What's going on? 473 00:11:37,347 --> 00:11:39,182 Aha! 474 00:11:37,347 --> 00:11:39,182 What are you doing? 475 00:11:39,224 --> 00:11:42,935 Nothing... just enjoying a taste 476 00:11:39,224 --> 00:11:42,935 of my favorite beverage, 477 00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,354 the soda pop. 478 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:47,774 Really? I have never seen you 479 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:47,774 enjoy soda pop before. 480 00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:50,277 - Hmm. 481 00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:50,277 - Have some now. 482 00:11:59,661 --> 00:12:00,662 Ahh. 483 00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:03,582 - It's delicious. 484 00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:03,582 - I don't buy it. 485 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,458 You're making the same face 486 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,458 you made when you found 487 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,793 a chocolate chip 488 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,793 in your trail mix. 489 00:12:06,835 --> 00:12:08,587 Something's up. 490 00:12:06,835 --> 00:12:08,587 I'm patting you down. 491 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,466 Damn it, nothing but 492 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,466 a surprisingly toned set of abs. 493 00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:14,967 Why would I 494 00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:14,967 have the crown, Jake? 495 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,469 Isn't it still 496 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,469 in the interrogation room? 497 00:12:16,511 --> 00:12:19,096 Yes. Yes. 498 00:12:16,511 --> 00:12:19,096 Of course. 499 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,308 Of course 500 00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,308 it's still in there. 501 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,602 Welp, I guess I'll 502 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,602 see you at midnight. 503 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,354 - After you. 504 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,354 - No, after you. 505 00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:28,356 I insist. 506 00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,070 Ugh. 507 00:12:35,112 --> 00:12:36,364 You drank a soda? 508 00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:38,158 Not sure that's 509 00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:38,158 the worst thing in the world. 510 00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:39,576 It was the worst thing 511 00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:39,576 in the world... 512 00:12:39,618 --> 00:12:42,077 worse than a 513 00:12:39,618 --> 00:12:42,077 fruit-forward Riesling. 514 00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:43,996 No, I'm not exaggerating. 515 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:48,000 Anyhow, I cleverly ditched 516 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:48,000 the crown in a trash can... 517 00:12:48,042 --> 00:12:50,337 wait a minute... so as to not 518 00:12:48,042 --> 00:12:50,337 arouse suspicion 519 00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,546 and then retrieve it. 520 00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:52,839 Got it. 521 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:55,884 Hey... while I'm in there, 522 00:12:52,881 --> 00:12:55,884 should I get you a soda? 523 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,510 I know you're joking, 524 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,510 but on the off chance 525 00:12:57,552 --> 00:12:59,053 you aren't... 526 00:12:59,094 --> 00:13:00,680 No. 527 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,061 - Hi, there. 528 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,061 - Oh, is it? 529 00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:08,145 The handlebar thing 530 00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:08,145 was fake. 531 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,522 They were trying 532 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,522 to distract me. 533 00:13:09,564 --> 00:13:11,023 I think they made 534 00:13:09,564 --> 00:13:11,023 a play for the crown. 535 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,193 I know, but I had my hand 536 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,193 on the cabinet the whole time, 537 00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:14,736 so I'm pretty confident 538 00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:14,736 there's no way 539 00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:16,028 they could have gotten it. 540 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,197 They got it. 541 00:13:17,238 --> 00:13:19,073 Look at the back. 542 00:13:17,238 --> 00:13:19,073 Screws are loose. 543 00:13:19,114 --> 00:13:22,786 Damn it. 544 00:13:19,114 --> 00:13:22,786 That son of a bitch is good. 545 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,038 Sir, we got a problem. 546 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,123 The crown wasn't in 547 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,123 the trash can. 548 00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:29,668 Jake must have taken it back. 549 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,169 Damn it. 550 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,128 That son of a bitch is good. 551 00:13:35,674 --> 00:13:37,049 We have to get 552 00:13:35,674 --> 00:13:37,049 that crown back. 553 00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:39,051 I already changed my email 554 00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:39,051 to "kingjakerulez" with a z. 555 00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,845 Everyone's going to think 556 00:13:39,093 --> 00:13:40,845 I'm an idiot. 557 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,055 - Hello, Peralta. 558 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,055 - Captain. 559 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,849 - Midnight nears. 560 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,849 - Yes, it does. 561 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,727 - Tick tock. 562 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,727 - Tick tock indeed. 563 00:13:47,769 --> 00:13:50,563 But tick tock for who? 564 00:13:50,605 --> 00:13:51,690 You know it's "for whom." 565 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:52,857 Don't try to provoke me. 566 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,151 I didn't know that. 567 00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:56,653 I'm going to get 568 00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:56,653 that crown back. 569 00:13:56,695 --> 00:13:57,737 - Wait... what? 570 00:13:56,695 --> 00:13:57,737 - Huh? 571 00:13:57,779 --> 00:14:00,740 Will you excuse me 572 00:13:57,779 --> 00:14:00,740 for just one moment? 573 00:14:00,782 --> 00:14:03,952 Yes, I too 574 00:14:00,782 --> 00:14:03,952 need to be excused. 575 00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:04,786 He doesn't have the crown! 576 00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:05,954 What? Who has it, then? 577 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,247 - I don't know who has it. 578 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,247 - What do we do? 579 00:14:07,288 --> 00:14:09,874 Pull the security tape. 580 00:14:07,288 --> 00:14:09,874 I'll distract them. 581 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,459 Hey, look at this. 582 00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:15,839 Ahhhhhhhhhh. 583 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,340 Damn it, how did that 584 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,340 not work? 585 00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:21,219 Hmm, Captain Holt said 586 00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:21,219 you guys stole the crown 587 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,512 when Jake came through 588 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,512 the ceiling. 589 00:14:22,554 --> 00:14:24,264 Yeah, I can't believe 590 00:14:22,554 --> 00:14:24,264 you fell for that. 591 00:14:24,305 --> 00:14:25,765 You really think I'd mark 592 00:14:24,305 --> 00:14:25,765 the wrong vent? 593 00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:27,809 I've never marked 594 00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:27,809 a wrong vent in my life. 595 00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:29,310 You're very intense 596 00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:29,310 about vents. 597 00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:30,478 Yeah. 598 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,439 Wait... so Nadia wasn't 599 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,439 just a distraction? 600 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,441 No, 100% real. 601 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:37,652 Handsome, cool, hair as thick 602 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:37,652 as a collie's. 603 00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:39,988 I found you the perfect guy, 604 00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:39,988 and you drove him off. 605 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,573 Ugh. I'm sorry. 606 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,366 I should have trusted you. 607 00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,452 Please call him 608 00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,452 and tell him I messed up. 609 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,620 Fine, but only if you 610 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,620 agree that your first date 611 00:14:47,662 --> 00:14:49,664 will be a double date 612 00:14:47,662 --> 00:14:49,664 with me and Genevieve 613 00:14:49,706 --> 00:14:51,123 on a week-long trip 614 00:14:49,706 --> 00:14:51,123 to Turk's... 615 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,792 Forget it, no. 616 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,792 Forget it. 617 00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:53,918 No! Okay, I'll call him. 618 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,127 Please, I want this 619 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,127 so badly. 620 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,422 Fine, you may 621 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,422 call him for me. 622 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,759 Thank you. 623 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,386 Okay, here I am taking 624 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,386 pictures with Terry's kids. 625 00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:05,472 Man, I look so strong 626 00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:05,472 standing next to them. 627 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,556 - Should I have kids? 628 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,556 - Sure. 629 00:15:06,598 --> 00:15:07,766 Okay. 630 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,351 It's Holt. 631 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,351 Whoa, how did he do that? 632 00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:11,811 Guy has an insane 633 00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:11,811 set of abs. 634 00:15:11,853 --> 00:15:13,980 Oh, look, 635 00:15:11,853 --> 00:15:13,980 he's got the crown. 636 00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:15,398 And he's headed to 637 00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:15,398 the break room. 638 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:16,566 He dumped it in the trash. 639 00:15:16,608 --> 00:15:17,734 Did he go back and get it? 640 00:15:17,776 --> 00:15:21,488 Nope, janitor came in 641 00:15:17,776 --> 00:15:21,488 and took it. 642 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,572 But which janitor? 643 00:15:22,614 --> 00:15:24,032 Looks like I'm going to 644 00:15:22,614 --> 00:15:24,032 have to squint. 645 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,205 His name is Al... 646 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,205 Al the janitor. 647 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,540 All right, it's 11:00 P.M. now; 648 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,540 That means Al's long gone. 649 00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:34,000 How are we going to 650 00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:34,000 get his home address? 651 00:15:34,042 --> 00:15:35,877 Who's the one person you know 652 00:15:34,042 --> 00:15:35,877 who's anal enough 653 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:38,797 to send out holiday cards 654 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:38,797 to every single employee? 655 00:15:40,215 --> 00:15:42,967 - Amy! 656 00:15:40,215 --> 00:15:42,967 - What do you want, Jake? 657 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,470 What? Why would you assume 658 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,470 that I want anything? 659 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,181 What I want is to apologize 660 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,181 to my girlfriend, 661 00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,432 who I hurt. 662 00:15:49,474 --> 00:15:50,517 It's "whom." 663 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:51,768 Why does the word "who" 664 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:51,768 even exist 665 00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,061 if you're not allowed 666 00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,061 to say it? 667 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,604 Anyways, now that 668 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,604 I've apologized 669 00:15:54,646 --> 00:15:58,441 and you've accepted, can you 670 00:15:54,646 --> 00:15:58,441 give me janitor Al's address? 671 00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:00,652 This is related 672 00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:00,652 to your heist, isn't it? 673 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,488 No, no. 674 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,488 It's about a crime. 675 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,491 I think janitor Al is 676 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,491 going to kill the president. 677 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,743 Oh, Santiago. 678 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,743 There's my protégé. 679 00:16:08,785 --> 00:16:10,829 Let me guess... 680 00:16:08,785 --> 00:16:10,829 you want the janitor's address. 681 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,915 Janitor? Address? Al? 682 00:16:13,957 --> 00:16:15,625 I never said his name. 683 00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:18,294 Well, isn't this rich. 684 00:16:18,336 --> 00:16:20,547 After being excluded 685 00:16:18,336 --> 00:16:20,547 by both of you, 686 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,923 here I am with the power 687 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,923 to decide 688 00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:24,759 who wins and who loses 689 00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:24,759 your little heist. 690 00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,511 I wouldn't have it 691 00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:26,511 any other way. 692 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,471 You are my wisest detective. 693 00:16:28,513 --> 00:16:31,599 Pathetic. 694 00:16:28,513 --> 00:16:31,599 She can't be manipulated, sir. 695 00:16:31,641 --> 00:16:33,518 Amy, we are in love. 696 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,853 I know we've never 697 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,853 said it before, 698 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,729 but I think this is 699 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,729 the perfect time, don't you? 700 00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,231 Love? Ha. 701 00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:41,317 What's love compared to the 702 00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:41,317 respect of a workplace superior? 703 00:16:41,359 --> 00:16:42,443 Amy Santiago, 704 00:16:41,359 --> 00:16:42,443 will you m... 705 00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:44,237 - Enough! 706 00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:44,237 - Okay. 707 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,615 Pretending to be nice to me 708 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,615 is worse than being mean. 709 00:16:47,657 --> 00:16:51,244 You know what? 710 00:16:47,657 --> 00:16:51,244 You want the address? 711 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:55,540 Here, you can both have it. 712 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,627 Hope you're happy, 713 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,627 you selfish monsters. 714 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,588 - I feel terrible. 715 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,588 - We should apologize. 716 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:02,881 Yes, I agree. 717 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,049 You definitely should now; 718 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,049 I'll do mine later. 719 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,342 Fat chance. 720 00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:08,469 Charles, I need your butt. 721 00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:08,469 Meet me downstairs. 722 00:17:08,511 --> 00:17:09,971 Alpha Team, this is 723 00:17:08,511 --> 00:17:09,971 the Golden Sparrow. 724 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,556 Rendezvous at 725 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,556 Drop Zone Yankee. 726 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,766 When did you come up 727 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,766 with those code names? 728 00:17:14,976 --> 00:17:17,353 Okay, he lives on 729 00:17:14,976 --> 00:17:17,353 the sixteenth floor. 730 00:17:17,395 --> 00:17:18,479 I think we beat Holt here. 731 00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:21,524 - Or did you? 732 00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:21,524 - I'll get the elevator. 733 00:17:21,566 --> 00:17:24,944 Crap! Looks like 734 00:17:21,566 --> 00:17:24,944 we're taking the stairs. 735 00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:28,157 All right, it's sixteen floors... 736 00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:28,157 pace yourselves. 737 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,824 Forget it. 738 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,824 Run as fast as you can! 739 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:39,334 Ha ha! 740 00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,836 I win. I knocked first. 741 00:17:43,504 --> 00:17:44,464 You're not Al. 742 00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:45,798 You're looking for Al? 743 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,676 Of course we're looking 744 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,676 for Al, you imbecile! 745 00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:50,345 Sorry. 746 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,138 He's having a cigarette 747 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,138 on the roof. 748 00:17:52,181 --> 00:17:53,598 The roof? 749 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,105 Yes. 750 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,105 I did it. 751 00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,441 I am the greatest 752 00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,441 athlete in the world. 753 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,028 Al? Al? 754 00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:09,447 Where's Al? 755 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,324 Oh, there he is. 756 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,324 There he is! 757 00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:13,368 I did it. I did it. 758 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,454 Good God. 759 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,166 Are you Al the janitor? 760 00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:21,918 Nope. 761 00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:21,918 I'm your worst nightmare. 762 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,087 Amy Santiago. 763 00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:26,631 Oh, no. 764 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,638 I don't understand 765 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,638 what is happening. 766 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,641 Allow me to explain. 767 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,560 Amy and I were ahead of you 768 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,560 the whole time. 769 00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:41,604 No, you weren't 770 00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:41,604 part of this. 771 00:18:41,646 --> 00:18:43,773 Get back over to 772 00:18:41,646 --> 00:18:43,773 the loser side, loser. 773 00:18:43,815 --> 00:18:44,816 All right. 774 00:18:43,815 --> 00:18:44,816 Worth a shot. 775 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,067 So how'd you pull it off? 776 00:18:46,109 --> 00:18:48,361 Well, it all started 777 00:18:46,109 --> 00:18:48,361 when I went to tell Jake 778 00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:50,446 how badly he hurt 779 00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:50,446 my feelings, 780 00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:52,365 and he yelled at 781 00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:52,365 my breasts. 782 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,534 Oh, boy, I am not going to 783 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,534 come off well in this story. 784 00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:55,618 Nope. 785 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,162 Remember when you 786 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,162 set off the witch? 787 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,415 You made Captain Holt 788 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,415 flinch, which was weird, 789 00:19:00,456 --> 00:19:02,083 since his door was closed, 790 00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:04,085 but not weird, since he 791 00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:04,085 actually heard it over a bug 792 00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:05,628 he planted at your desk. 793 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,630 It was in an old muffin that you 794 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,630 never threw in the trash. 795 00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,757 That's why people 796 00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,757 throw away garbage. 797 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:10,758 How are we together? 798 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,051 Eh. 799 00:19:12,093 --> 00:19:14,179 Anyway, I tapped into 800 00:19:12,093 --> 00:19:14,179 the bug's frequencies, 801 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,930 so I had ears on Jake. 802 00:19:15,972 --> 00:19:17,473 I needed to know 803 00:19:15,972 --> 00:19:17,473 what Holt was up to. 804 00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:19,475 That's where Hitchcock 805 00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:19,475 came in. 806 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,436 I masterminded 807 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,436 the entire plan. 808 00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:23,771 You did one small thing, 809 00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:23,771 and I had to explain it to you, 810 00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:25,232 like, 45 times. 811 00:19:25,274 --> 00:19:26,983 He left a tiny crack 812 00:19:25,274 --> 00:19:26,983 in the blind, 813 00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:28,484 so I could read 814 00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:28,484 the Captain's lips. 815 00:19:28,526 --> 00:19:30,611 "Sharon and your kids 816 00:19:28,526 --> 00:19:30,611 will distract Jake. 817 00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:32,572 "They'll be here at 9:30 sharp. 818 00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:35,242 My waffle xylophone 819 00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:35,242 on the cheese man." 820 00:19:35,284 --> 00:19:36,243 What? 821 00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:37,660 My lip-reading 822 00:19:36,285 --> 00:19:37,660 is not flawless. 823 00:19:37,702 --> 00:19:38,828 Now that I knew your plan, 824 00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:40,164 it was simple to disrupt. 825 00:19:40,205 --> 00:19:42,040 While Scully gracefully 826 00:19:40,205 --> 00:19:42,040 moved the witch, 827 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,666 I got into character. 828 00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:44,834 Holt triggered the witch, 829 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,002 which brought Jake 830 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,002 into the room. 831 00:19:46,044 --> 00:19:47,920 And I threw the crown 832 00:19:46,044 --> 00:19:47,920 in the trash can. 833 00:19:47,962 --> 00:19:49,797 Exactly as I planned. 834 00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:53,092 Then I sent you all here, 835 00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:53,092 placed an out-of-order sign 836 00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:56,012 on the perfectly 837 00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:56,012 functional elevator, 838 00:19:56,054 --> 00:19:57,680 made you all walk up 839 00:19:56,054 --> 00:19:57,680 31 flights of stairs 840 00:19:57,722 --> 00:19:59,266 and vomit twice. 841 00:19:59,308 --> 00:20:00,475 Actually, it was four times, 842 00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:02,602 if you count all 843 00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:02,602 the stairwell stuff. 844 00:20:02,643 --> 00:20:04,604 You thought I was 845 00:20:02,643 --> 00:20:04,604 just Holt's lackey. 846 00:20:04,645 --> 00:20:06,898 And you thought I was 847 00:20:04,645 --> 00:20:06,898 just Jake's girlfriend. 848 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,816 Well, I'm my own person, 849 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:10,985 capable of making 850 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:10,985 my own decisions, 851 00:20:11,027 --> 00:20:13,197 and I decided to 852 00:20:11,027 --> 00:20:13,197 humiliate you both. 853 00:20:13,238 --> 00:20:17,992 Well, you did, 854 00:20:13,238 --> 00:20:17,992 and it was awesome. 855 00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,620 One last question: 856 00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,620 where's the crown? 857 00:20:20,661 --> 00:20:22,164 Oh, it's at Shaw's Bar, 858 00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:24,874 the official site 859 00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:24,874 of my coronation. 860 00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:27,126 All hail the crown of destiny. 861 00:20:30,339 --> 00:20:35,134 And all hail she who wears it, 862 00:20:30,339 --> 00:20:35,134 Amy Santiago, the... 863 00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:36,677 Queen. 864 00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,721 Queen of the nine-nine. 865 00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,474 I believe there's 866 00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,474 something else 867 00:20:41,516 --> 00:20:42,683 you both need to say. 868 00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:43,726 Gladly. 869 00:20:43,768 --> 00:20:44,852 Amy Santiago 870 00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:47,897 is an amazing 871 00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:47,897 detective/genius. 872 00:20:47,939 --> 00:20:49,274 Drinks are on us. 873 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,318 - Nope. 874 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,318 - Drinks are on me. 875 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,735 Yeah! 876 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:55,863 Hey. 877 00:20:57,615 --> 00:20:59,075 I'm glad you showed up. 878 00:20:59,117 --> 00:21:01,494 Sorry I was acting 879 00:20:59,117 --> 00:21:01,494 so weird earlier. 880 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,497 Hey, I don't blame you. 881 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,497 Sagittarius, right? 882 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,749 With Saturn where it is, 883 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,749 you're right to be wary 884 00:21:06,791 --> 00:21:08,042 of new relationships. 885 00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:11,838 How is it possible 886 00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:11,838 that a spirit such as yourself 887 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:13,298 even knows Charles? 888 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,259 I did an art show 889 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,259 at Genevieve's gallery. 890 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,844 Oh, right... so you're not 891 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,844 really friends, 892 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,930 you know his girlfriend 893 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,930 through the art world. 894 00:21:20,972 --> 00:21:22,807 Yeah, plus, 895 00:21:20,972 --> 00:21:22,807 she's my twin sister. 896 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,100 What? 897 00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:26,102 Hi, Leo. 898 00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:26,102 A kiss for my bro. 899 00:21:26,144 --> 00:21:27,895 And a kiss for my beau. 900 00:21:27,937 --> 00:21:28,938 No. 901 00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:29,772 A kiss for my beau. 902 00:21:29,814 --> 00:21:31,732 And a kiss for my sis. 903 00:21:31,774 --> 00:21:32,608 No! 904 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:33,901 - Not a doctor. 905 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:33,901 - shh.