1 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,656 Hey, Gina! 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,656 We got an anonymous gift basket. 3 00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:06,991 Yeah, it's full of treats. 4 00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:08,284 It's got meats, cheeses, 5 00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:08,284 candies, 6 00:00:08,326 --> 00:00:09,327 all the food groups. 7 00:00:09,369 --> 00:00:10,661 The cheese is amazing. 8 00:00:10,703 --> 00:00:13,122 It melts in my mouth 9 00:00:10,703 --> 00:00:13,122 and in my hands. 10 00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:16,167 Hmm, French chocolates, 11 00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:16,167 French cheeses, 12 00:00:16,209 --> 00:00:17,585 tiny French pickles. 13 00:00:17,627 --> 00:00:20,046 Did none of you detectives 14 00:00:17,627 --> 00:00:20,046 think this might be a gift 15 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:23,466 for Captain Holt from 16 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:23,466 someone in France? 17 00:00:23,508 --> 00:00:25,760 Like his husband, 18 00:00:23,508 --> 00:00:25,760 par exemple? 19 00:00:25,802 --> 00:00:28,388 What? 20 00:00:25,802 --> 00:00:28,388 No way. 21 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:32,058 This is a nice present from 22 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:32,058 an unknown, appreciative citizen 23 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,309 that wanted us to munch. 24 00:00:33,351 --> 00:00:35,228 Hmm, what's this, then? 25 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,814 "Dear Captain Raymond Holt, 26 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,814 thinking of you. 27 00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:41,275 Best, Dr. Kevin Cozner, Ph.D." 28 00:00:41,317 --> 00:00:43,403 He even used their pet names. 29 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:46,197 Oh, no, I ate the 30 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:46,197 chocolate-covered strawberry. 31 00:00:46,239 --> 00:00:47,824 That's the most intimate 32 00:00:46,239 --> 00:00:47,824 snack of them all. 33 00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,450 Holt's gonna be back from 34 00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,450 his meeting in 30 minutes. 35 00:00:49,492 --> 00:00:50,910 - What do we do? 36 00:00:49,492 --> 00:00:50,910 - Eat the note! 37 00:00:50,952 --> 00:00:53,329 No! 38 00:00:50,952 --> 00:00:53,329 No. 39 00:00:53,372 --> 00:00:55,873 It's okay. 40 00:00:53,372 --> 00:00:55,873 We can fix this. 41 00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,252 Check it out, sir. 42 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:03,506 A lovely gift basket that Kevin 43 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:03,506 sent you all the way from Paris. 44 00:01:03,548 --> 00:01:05,299 Straight from Paris! 45 00:01:10,096 --> 00:01:13,266 Stapler, scissors. 46 00:01:15,101 --> 00:01:16,894 Rubber bands. 47 00:01:20,106 --> 00:01:22,316 That man really knows me. 48 00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:46,841 Attention, squad. 49 00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:46,841 I just received a call. 50 00:01:46,883 --> 00:01:49,635 A very important, 51 00:01:46,883 --> 00:01:49,635 very high profile celebrity 52 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,304 was robbed in our precinct. 53 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,014 What celebrity, sir? 54 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,014 Is it a Chris? 55 00:01:53,055 --> 00:01:56,350 Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt? Pine? 56 00:01:53,055 --> 00:01:56,350 Brown? Cross? 57 00:01:56,393 --> 00:01:57,894 Is it a non-Chris? 58 00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,938 This is a sensitive matter, 59 00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,938 and I can only disclose details 60 00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:02,607 to the lead detective 61 00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:02,607 on the case. 62 00:02:02,648 --> 00:02:04,734 Sergeant, let me know 63 00:02:02,648 --> 00:02:04,734 who's available, ASAP. 64 00:02:04,775 --> 00:02:05,902 Yes, sir. 65 00:02:05,943 --> 00:02:08,196 Sarge, Sarge, Sarge. 66 00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:10,281 You know that 67 00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:10,281 I'm your guy for this. 68 00:02:10,323 --> 00:02:12,325 You can't give 69 00:02:10,323 --> 00:02:12,325 a celebrity case to Amy. 70 00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:15,828 The last movie she saw was a 71 00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:15,828 documentary about spelling bees. 72 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:18,664 Wrong; it was about 73 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:18,664 the font Helvetica, 74 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,666 and it played like 75 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,666 an action thriller. 76 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,543 You already have 77 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,543 a case, Peralta. 78 00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:24,295 I assigned it to you 79 00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:24,295 this morning. 80 00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:26,465 That was just some kid with 81 00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:26,465 a little bit of pot on him. 82 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,591 Meanwhile, Chris Rock 83 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,591 is tied up in his basement 84 00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:31,177 calling out for my help, 85 00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:31,177 and you're standing in my way. 86 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,137 Just work the case 87 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,137 I assigned you. 88 00:02:33,179 --> 00:02:34,931 Can't I just give my case 89 00:02:33,179 --> 00:02:34,931 to Hitchcock and Scully? 90 00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:37,016 I mean, they clearly have 91 00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:37,016 a ton of time on their hands. 92 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:39,101 Hitchcock hasn't even gotten 93 00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:39,101 out of his chair today. 94 00:02:39,143 --> 00:02:42,021 Hey, Jake, I can go 95 00:02:39,143 --> 00:02:42,021 anywhere in this thing. 96 00:02:42,063 --> 00:02:44,565 But... shouldn't. 97 00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:46,776 Hitchcock and Scully 98 00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:46,776 are house mouses. 99 00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:48,778 They do paperwork 100 00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:48,778 and they're good at it. 101 00:02:48,819 --> 00:02:50,489 They don't go out 102 00:02:48,819 --> 00:02:50,489 in the field. 103 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,908 Boyle, you take 104 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,908 the celebrity case. 105 00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:56,160 Me? Instead of Jake? 106 00:02:56,202 --> 00:02:59,163 Have you lost your damn mind? 107 00:02:56,202 --> 00:02:59,163 I am so sorry, Jake. 108 00:02:59,205 --> 00:03:00,540 I don't know what's 109 00:02:59,205 --> 00:03:00,540 wrong with Terry. 110 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,792 Don't worry. 111 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,792 I'm gonna work it with you. 112 00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,253 I'm giving my drug bust 113 00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,253 to Hitchcock and Scully. 114 00:03:05,294 --> 00:03:08,130 It's time to get these mice 115 00:03:05,294 --> 00:03:08,130 out of their hice. 116 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,840 Oh, that was lame. 117 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,840 Life is meaningless. 118 00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:11,634 We're all gonna die. 119 00:03:11,676 --> 00:03:14,011 Mouses out of their houses. 120 00:03:11,676 --> 00:03:14,011 Yes, I am the greatest. 121 00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:16,222 Every breath is a gift. 122 00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:16,222 Sorry about the roller coaster. 123 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:19,434 I'm just happy 124 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:19,434 I'm tall enough to ride. 125 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:20,685 Hey, Rosa. 126 00:03:20,726 --> 00:03:21,727 Saw you hadn't signed up 127 00:03:20,726 --> 00:03:21,727 for the blood drive yet, 128 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,604 so I brought you the sheet. 129 00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:27,567 Sorry, can't. 130 00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:27,567 I'm... under 17 years old. 131 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,404 Wait, you didn't sign up 132 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,404 last year, either. 133 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:32,905 Or the year before. 134 00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,240 Are you afraid of needles? 135 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,658 I don't like being 136 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,658 stabbed by someone 137 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:36,951 so they can steal my blood. 138 00:03:36,993 --> 00:03:38,578 I'm crazy. 139 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,498 This is amazing; you're 140 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,498 scared of something I'm not. 141 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,292 I'm tougher than you. 142 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,292 I'm tougher than Rosa. 143 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,294 Eh, I take it back. 144 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,294 I'm so sorry. 145 00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:49,297 Look, it's okay. 146 00:03:46,335 --> 00:03:49,297 We all have fears. 147 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:50,673 I'm so claustrophobic, 148 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:50,673 I can't even go 149 00:03:50,715 --> 00:03:53,009 into the downstairs 150 00:03:50,715 --> 00:03:53,009 supply closet. 151 00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:54,969 I hear they have some 152 00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:54,969 hot new binder clips, 153 00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:57,305 but I'll never know. 154 00:03:57,346 --> 00:03:58,889 I'm scared of businessmen. 155 00:03:58,931 --> 00:04:02,602 A whole army of gray-suited 156 00:03:58,931 --> 00:04:02,602 Brads and Chads trying 157 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:07,399 to suck my soul and redeem it 158 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:07,399 for frequent flyer miles. 159 00:04:07,441 --> 00:04:08,733 Great, so you guys get it. 160 00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:10,610 - Conversation over, bye. 161 00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:10,610 - No, no, no, no, no. 162 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:14,739 What if we each agree to face 163 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:14,739 one of our fears today 164 00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:17,867 for ourselves 165 00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:17,867 and for all of womenkind? 166 00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:19,578 Ugh. 167 00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:19,578 That sounds terrible. 168 00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:22,622 But I'm in. 169 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,499 Fine, I'll do it too. 170 00:04:24,541 --> 00:04:25,791 Guys, come on. 171 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,503 I really think this'll 172 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,503 be good for... oh, wait. 173 00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:31,631 You... we're doing my thing? 174 00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:31,631 Okay. 175 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,049 Thanks for taking us 176 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,049 to lunch, Jake. 177 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,634 Of course. 178 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,634 Get whatever you want. 179 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,094 Oh, man, I already ate. 180 00:04:37,136 --> 00:04:38,929 I guess I'll just have 181 00:04:37,136 --> 00:04:38,929 a cheeseburger deluxe, 182 00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:41,307 couple slices of pie, 183 00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:41,307 maybe an egg cream. 184 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,059 - Okay. 185 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,059 - And a waffle. 186 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,895 So look, a big, important 187 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,895 drug case came across my desk, 188 00:04:45,936 --> 00:04:47,564 and I need your help. 189 00:04:47,606 --> 00:04:50,191 Only problem is, Sarge doesn't 190 00:04:47,606 --> 00:04:50,191 think you can handle it. 191 00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:52,276 - He's right. 192 00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:52,276 - No, he's not. 193 00:04:52,318 --> 00:04:53,612 Look, you're 194 00:04:52,318 --> 00:04:53,612 Hitchcock and Scully. 195 00:04:53,653 --> 00:04:55,029 You guys are legends. 196 00:04:55,071 --> 00:04:57,740 You single-handedly caught 197 00:04:55,071 --> 00:04:57,740 the Prospect Park Flasher. 198 00:04:57,782 --> 00:04:59,784 Well, he was being 199 00:04:57,782 --> 00:04:59,784 chased by other cops, 200 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,453 but he did slip 201 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,453 on my spilled chili. 202 00:05:01,495 --> 00:05:04,163 And who bumped into Scully, 203 00:05:01,495 --> 00:05:04,163 causing the spill? Me. 204 00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:07,208 Damn right, and who fell 205 00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:07,208 asleep under their desks 206 00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:08,709 and caught the janitor 207 00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:08,709 stealing evidence? 208 00:05:08,751 --> 00:05:09,710 We did. 209 00:05:09,752 --> 00:05:11,253 And who sued the department 210 00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:14,131 and got triple-ply toilet paper 211 00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:14,131 in every precinct? 212 00:05:14,173 --> 00:05:15,132 We did. 213 00:05:15,174 --> 00:05:16,300 Terry thinks you guys 214 00:05:16,342 --> 00:05:17,469 are too old and too lazy 215 00:05:16,342 --> 00:05:17,469 to handle this, 216 00:05:17,511 --> 00:05:18,803 but I know what 217 00:05:17,511 --> 00:05:18,803 you're really made of. 218 00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:21,055 You're gonna take this case 219 00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:21,055 and prove him wrong! 220 00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:23,349 - Yeah! 221 00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:23,349 - Whoo-hoo! 222 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:24,975 We're still gonna 223 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:24,975 eat lunch, right? 224 00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:27,604 Obviously, a high profile 225 00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:27,604 celebrity case such as this one 226 00:05:27,646 --> 00:05:30,815 needs to be handled 227 00:05:27,646 --> 00:05:30,815 with the utmost discretion. 228 00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:32,692 I promise 229 00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:32,692 I'll be professional, 230 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,361 even if it's Dianne Wiest. 231 00:05:34,403 --> 00:05:37,656 Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm 232 00:05:34,403 --> 00:05:37,656 gonna meet Dianne Wiest! 233 00:05:37,697 --> 00:05:39,533 She's so sexual! 234 00:05:39,574 --> 00:05:42,827 No, our victim... 235 00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:47,499 is John... William... 236 00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:49,166 Weichselbraun. 237 00:05:50,377 --> 00:05:52,379 Remind me who that is again? 238 00:05:52,421 --> 00:05:54,673 You're kidding. 239 00:05:52,421 --> 00:05:54,673 He's a world-renowned oboist, 240 00:05:54,714 --> 00:05:57,174 first chair with the New York 241 00:05:54,714 --> 00:05:57,174 Symphony Orchestra. 242 00:05:57,216 --> 00:06:00,637 Kevin and I are huge fans 243 00:05:57,216 --> 00:06:00,637 of Weichselbraun's work. 244 00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:04,516 We are what the Internet 245 00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:04,516 sometimes refers to as... 246 00:06:04,558 --> 00:06:06,393 Weichselbraun fans. 247 00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:07,768 Not Weichselbrauniacs? 248 00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,812 Oh, that's very good. 249 00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:11,398 I'm gonna use that 250 00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:11,398 liberally. 251 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,816 Anyway, Weichselbraun's 252 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,816 $40,000 oboe 253 00:06:13,858 --> 00:06:14,984 was stolen from his apartment, 254 00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:16,944 and you need to find it. 255 00:06:16,986 --> 00:06:18,530 I'd work the case myself 256 00:06:18,572 --> 00:06:20,948 if it didn't smack 257 00:06:18,572 --> 00:06:20,948 of preferential treatment. 258 00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:22,825 Don't worry, sir. 259 00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:22,825 I can handle this. 260 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,662 So you do think it smacks 261 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,662 of preferential treatment? 262 00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:27,747 I don't know what 263 00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:27,747 you want me to say. 264 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,166 Okay, you've convinced me. 265 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,166 I'll work the case with you. 266 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,961 Great. 267 00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,880 I think you owe me 268 00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,880 an apology. 269 00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:38,215 I'll apologize 270 00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:38,215 to you in hell. 271 00:06:38,257 --> 00:06:40,009 I actually don't know 272 00:06:38,257 --> 00:06:40,009 what this is about. 273 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,218 Sorry I took 274 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,218 such a hard stance. 275 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,764 Holt's celebrity was 276 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,764 just some lame oboist. 277 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:48,602 Meanwhile, we just linked 278 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:48,602 your little dumb pot bust 279 00:06:48,643 --> 00:06:50,729 to a major narcotics ring. 280 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:52,938 This might be the biggest drug 281 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:52,938 case 282 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,899 the Nine-Nine's had in years. 283 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:57,026 Cool. 284 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,695 Uh-oh. 285 00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,530 I know a real "cool" 286 00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,530 when I hear one. 287 00:07:00,572 --> 00:07:04,451 That wasn't a real "cool." 288 00:07:00,572 --> 00:07:04,451 What did you do? 289 00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:07,370 Well... 290 00:07:07,412 --> 00:07:10,415 I may have given 291 00:07:07,412 --> 00:07:10,415 that very huge drug case 292 00:07:10,457 --> 00:07:12,417 to Hitchcock and Scully. 293 00:07:12,459 --> 00:07:14,001 - What? 294 00:07:12,459 --> 00:07:14,001 - In my defense, 295 00:07:14,043 --> 00:07:17,213 I was pretty sure you were 296 00:07:14,043 --> 00:07:17,213 never gonna find out. 297 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,257 I don't know where 298 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,257 Hitchcock and Scully are. 299 00:07:20,299 --> 00:07:21,884 They're not answering 300 00:07:20,299 --> 00:07:21,884 their phones, 301 00:07:21,926 --> 00:07:24,220 and they signed our dealer... 302 00:07:21,926 --> 00:07:24,220 the one link to our drug ring... 303 00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,722 out of holding. 304 00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:28,391 I swear, if they mess up 305 00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:28,391 this case, Jake, it's on you. 306 00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:29,643 They're detectives. 307 00:07:29,684 --> 00:07:31,185 They've been on the force 308 00:07:29,684 --> 00:07:31,185 for 500 years. 309 00:07:31,227 --> 00:07:32,604 They know what they're doing. 310 00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:35,690 The only item on Scully's 311 00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:35,690 calendar for the entire year 312 00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:36,899 is "eat peanut butter." 313 00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,401 Yeah, we got to find them. 314 00:07:38,443 --> 00:07:42,029 And to do that, we have 315 00:07:38,443 --> 00:07:42,029 to think like they do. 316 00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:44,658 I'm going in. 317 00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:48,745 All right, there's 318 00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:48,745 the butt indentation, 319 00:07:48,787 --> 00:07:49,829 and... 320 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,831 I'm docked. 321 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,999 Ugh. 322 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,999 Still warm. 323 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,379 All right, residual cushion fart 324 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,379 is about a six out of ten. 325 00:07:57,420 --> 00:07:59,088 He's been gone an hour, 326 00:07:57,420 --> 00:07:59,088 maybe two. 327 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:00,423 - But where? 328 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:00,423 - Hot dogs. 329 00:08:00,465 --> 00:08:02,467 - They went for hot dogs. 330 00:08:00,465 --> 00:08:02,467 - How do you know? 331 00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:05,470 There's a water stain on the 332 00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:05,470 ceiling in the shape of a bun. 333 00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:06,513 Let's go. 334 00:08:08,723 --> 00:08:10,559 Excuse me, have you 335 00:08:08,723 --> 00:08:10,559 seen Hitchcock and Scully? 336 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,644 Three times a day 337 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,644 for 12 years. 338 00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:15,145 Twice as often since I started 339 00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:15,145 serving sweet wieners. 340 00:08:15,187 --> 00:08:16,523 Sweet wieners? 341 00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:17,982 It's a normal hot dog 342 00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:17,982 with a little chocolate sauce. 343 00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:19,693 - One please! 344 00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:19,693 - No, Jake. 345 00:08:19,734 --> 00:08:21,653 - No, Terry. 346 00:08:19,734 --> 00:08:21,653 - Have you seen them recently? 347 00:08:21,695 --> 00:08:23,863 Half hour ago... they ate, and 348 00:08:21,695 --> 00:08:23,863 then they took off in a hurry. 349 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,699 Half an hour. 350 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,908 They could be anywhere by now. 351 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,908 Nope, there's Scully. 352 00:08:29,411 --> 00:08:30,620 Where's Hitchcock? 353 00:08:30,662 --> 00:08:32,037 I'm taking you guys 354 00:08:30,662 --> 00:08:32,037 off your drug case. 355 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,205 Of course you are. 356 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:34,708 Jake said you didn't 357 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:34,708 believe in us. 358 00:08:34,749 --> 00:08:37,377 What? He didn't 359 00:08:34,749 --> 00:08:37,377 believe in you either. 360 00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:40,087 He was just pumping you up with 361 00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:40,087 lies so you'd work his case. 362 00:08:40,129 --> 00:08:41,840 Jake, is this true? 363 00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,966 I just thought, 364 00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,966 you know, 365 00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,134 the two of you might 366 00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,134 be better off 367 00:08:45,175 --> 00:08:47,094 mousing around the old house. 368 00:08:47,136 --> 00:08:49,054 Oh, I get it. 369 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,182 Just because I got my finger 370 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,182 stuck in a glue trap once, 371 00:08:52,224 --> 00:08:53,768 I'm a mouse? 372 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,060 I got the cheese out, 373 00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,060 by the way. 374 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,979 - Oh, my God. 375 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,979 - Look, man, 376 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:58,398 we need to know 377 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:58,398 where Hitchcock is. 378 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,400 I am ordering you 379 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,400 to tell us everything. 380 00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:02,861 Fine. 381 00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:02,861 We're setting up a sting. 382 00:09:02,902 --> 00:09:05,112 I'm going undercover 383 00:09:02,902 --> 00:09:05,112 as Tex Dallas, 384 00:09:05,154 --> 00:09:07,114 billionaire oil man 385 00:09:05,154 --> 00:09:07,114 from Dallas, Texas, 386 00:09:07,156 --> 00:09:08,991 with ties 387 00:09:07,156 --> 00:09:08,991 to the cowboy mafia. 388 00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:11,243 - Oh, boy. 389 00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:11,243 - Hitchcock's my middle man, 390 00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:14,246 Reno Vegas, 391 00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:14,246 mobster from Reno, Las Vegas. 392 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,707 I said my "oh, boy" 393 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,707 too soon. 394 00:09:15,749 --> 00:09:18,250 In 20 minutes, he's going in 395 00:09:15,749 --> 00:09:18,250 totally alone, unarmed, 396 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,294 without a cell phone, 397 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,294 to meet with one of their guys 398 00:09:20,336 --> 00:09:21,588 to set up a buy. 399 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:23,130 So how do you like 400 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:23,130 our plan now? 401 00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:26,008 It's a disaster, man! 402 00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:26,008 We got to stop it! 403 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:28,093 Disaster? Tell me 404 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:28,093 one thing that's wrong 405 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,471 with Operation Beans. 406 00:09:29,512 --> 00:09:31,473 Operation Beans? 407 00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,267 Good afternoon, sir. 408 00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,267 I'm Detective Charles Boyle... 409 00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:37,061 From the Nine-Nine. 410 00:09:37,102 --> 00:09:40,356 My precinct. 411 00:09:37,102 --> 00:09:40,356 I'm the captain, Raymond Holt. 412 00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:42,734 Okay. 413 00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:42,734 Uh, please, come on in. 414 00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:45,319 I'll show you the back room 415 00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:45,319 where they broke in. 416 00:09:45,362 --> 00:09:47,906 You're an incredibly gracious 417 00:09:45,362 --> 00:09:47,906 host, Mr. Weichselbraun. 418 00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:50,324 Wow, that pronunciation 419 00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:50,324 is flawless. 420 00:09:52,369 --> 00:09:56,163 I must admit, I'm a bit 421 00:09:52,369 --> 00:09:56,163 of a Weichselbrauniac. 422 00:09:56,205 --> 00:10:00,250 Hmm, I saw you perform Bach's 423 00:09:56,205 --> 00:10:00,250 "Oboe Sonata in G Minor" 424 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,419 at the Brooklyn Academy 425 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,419 of Music. 426 00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:03,170 I was in the front row. 427 00:10:03,212 --> 00:10:05,465 You were escorted out 428 00:10:03,212 --> 00:10:05,465 for gasping too loudly. 429 00:10:05,507 --> 00:10:07,007 Ah. 430 00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,968 This is a pretty 431 00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,968 modest apartment. 432 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,304 How did you afford a $40,000 433 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,304 oboe in the first place? 434 00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,098 I admit that there's 435 00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,098 not as much money 436 00:10:14,139 --> 00:10:15,517 in classical music 437 00:10:14,139 --> 00:10:15,517 as there once was... 438 00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:18,687 Which is the real 439 00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:18,687 crime here. 440 00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:20,270 Boyle, can I 441 00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:20,270 talk to you privately? 442 00:10:20,312 --> 00:10:21,481 Sure. 443 00:10:21,523 --> 00:10:23,273 What are you doing? 444 00:10:21,523 --> 00:10:23,273 You just insulted 445 00:10:23,315 --> 00:10:25,150 our celebrity victim 446 00:10:23,315 --> 00:10:25,150 to his face. 447 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,362 You keep saying "celebrity," 448 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,362 but he's drying his socks 449 00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:29,321 on a George Foreman grill. 450 00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:31,700 This is John William 451 00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:31,700 Weichselbraun, 452 00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:34,703 the Silver Spit Prince. 453 00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,871 I'm making myself primary 454 00:10:34,744 --> 00:10:36,871 detective on this case. 455 00:10:36,913 --> 00:10:38,373 You can wait in the car. 456 00:10:38,415 --> 00:10:40,332 Oh, but first, take a picture 457 00:10:38,415 --> 00:10:40,332 of the two of us together. 458 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,751 Make sure we're laughing. 459 00:10:43,461 --> 00:10:45,170 Ha-ha! 460 00:10:46,548 --> 00:10:48,048 Ah. 461 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:52,887 Okay, so, I'm going to face 462 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:52,887 my fear of confined spaces. 463 00:10:52,929 --> 00:10:55,432 When I'm ready, 464 00:10:52,929 --> 00:10:55,432 you will shut the trunk 465 00:10:55,473 --> 00:10:57,934 and leave me here 466 00:10:55,473 --> 00:10:57,934 for 30 minutes. 467 00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,269 I left a juice box 468 00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,269 and a diaper in there for you, 469 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:01,646 so you're gonna be fine. 470 00:11:01,688 --> 00:11:03,355 Or we could all 471 00:11:01,688 --> 00:11:03,355 give in to our fears 472 00:11:03,398 --> 00:11:05,400 and keep our blood in 473 00:11:03,398 --> 00:11:05,400 our bodies like normal people. 474 00:11:05,442 --> 00:11:08,528 No, Rosa, we are doing 475 00:11:05,442 --> 00:11:08,528 something important here. 476 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:11,364 We are women, standing up 477 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:11,364 and supporting each other 478 00:11:11,406 --> 00:11:13,240 and becoming... 479 00:11:13,282 --> 00:11:14,784 New fear: listening 480 00:11:13,282 --> 00:11:14,784 to Amy inspire us. 481 00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:18,120 Be back in 482 00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:18,120 a half hour, Ames. 483 00:11:18,162 --> 00:11:20,665 Wait! Come back! 484 00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:22,417 Come back, I can't do this! 485 00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,711 - No, you're the best! 486 00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:30,925 You did it. 487 00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:30,925 How'd it go? 488 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:35,345 Well, the first ten minutes 489 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:35,345 were really terrible. 490 00:11:35,388 --> 00:11:38,307 The diaper did not fit. 491 00:11:35,388 --> 00:11:38,307 It was for a baby. 492 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:42,979 But then I relaxed, 493 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:42,979 and I found my inner strength. 494 00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:45,398 I think the lesson here is that, 495 00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:45,398 as women, we... 496 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,691 No, no, no, no! 497 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:47,942 You close that trunk again 498 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:47,942 and I will kill you! 499 00:11:47,984 --> 00:11:50,361 You hear me? 500 00:11:47,984 --> 00:11:50,361 I will kill you! 501 00:11:52,447 --> 00:11:54,532 We're almost there. 502 00:11:52,447 --> 00:11:54,532 Slow down, Pinto. 503 00:11:54,574 --> 00:11:55,784 I didn't agree to a bean name. 504 00:11:55,825 --> 00:11:57,994 We are not doing 505 00:11:55,825 --> 00:11:57,994 Operation Beans. 506 00:11:58,036 --> 00:12:00,287 You know, the only reason 507 00:11:58,036 --> 00:12:00,287 Hitchcock and I took this case 508 00:12:00,329 --> 00:12:01,539 is because you said 509 00:12:00,329 --> 00:12:01,539 we were great. 510 00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:03,541 I'm beginning to think 511 00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:03,541 you were lying to us. 512 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:06,251 I was lying! 513 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:06,251 I already admitted that. 514 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,755 Well, if anything happens, 515 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,755 it's because of you. 516 00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,381 - Right, Mung? 517 00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,381 - Right. 518 00:12:10,423 --> 00:12:12,174 If Hitchcock dies, 519 00:12:10,423 --> 00:12:12,174 it's 'cause of Pinto. 520 00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:13,551 Terry, I know 521 00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:13,551 that you're mad, 522 00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:15,887 but you don't have 523 00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:15,887 to jump on the bean train. 524 00:12:15,929 --> 00:12:16,930 Uh-oh. 525 00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:22,393 Chickpea! 526 00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:22,393 No! 527 00:12:24,771 --> 00:12:26,188 Looks like they're 528 00:12:24,771 --> 00:12:26,188 taking Hitchcock 529 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,857 inside that building, and it 530 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,857 looks like they're armed. 531 00:12:27,899 --> 00:12:29,025 Dammit, Jake! 532 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,485 You couldn't just do 533 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,485 the case I assigned you? 534 00:12:30,527 --> 00:12:33,530 Hitchcock's life is in danger. 535 00:12:30,527 --> 00:12:33,530 He has a wife, man. 536 00:12:33,571 --> 00:12:35,322 Don't worry. 537 00:12:33,571 --> 00:12:35,322 If anything happens to him, 538 00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:36,616 she'll be taken care of. 539 00:12:36,658 --> 00:12:39,911 If I die, I want you 540 00:12:36,658 --> 00:12:39,911 to marry Lucille. 541 00:12:39,953 --> 00:12:41,996 I can't stand the thought 542 00:12:39,953 --> 00:12:41,996 of you being alone. 543 00:12:42,038 --> 00:12:44,541 Deal. Let's make it 544 00:12:42,038 --> 00:12:44,541 a blood pact. 545 00:12:44,582 --> 00:12:47,544 Oh, look, 546 00:12:44,582 --> 00:12:47,544 I'm already bleeding. 547 00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:49,253 So just 548 00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:49,253 normal friend stuff. 549 00:12:49,294 --> 00:12:52,006 - So what's the plan? 550 00:12:49,294 --> 00:12:52,006 - We stick with Operation Beans. 551 00:12:52,048 --> 00:12:54,551 We knock on the front door. 552 00:12:52,048 --> 00:12:54,551 I say I'm Tex Dallas. 553 00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,678 You're my buddy, Alamo, 554 00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,678 and you're Black Fred. 555 00:12:56,719 --> 00:12:59,138 Black Fred? 556 00:12:56,719 --> 00:12:59,138 Why Black Fred? 557 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,598 There's no other Fred! 558 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,891 Yeah, but they don't 559 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,891 know that. 560 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:03,101 I say Terry and I go in 561 00:13:03,142 --> 00:13:04,727 through the roof 562 00:13:03,142 --> 00:13:04,727 and do some recon. 563 00:13:04,769 --> 00:13:07,187 Scully, you stay here and call 564 00:13:04,769 --> 00:13:07,187 for backup in case we need it. 565 00:13:07,229 --> 00:13:08,565 Oh, no way. 566 00:13:08,606 --> 00:13:10,149 That's my partner in there. 567 00:13:08,606 --> 00:13:10,149 I'm going in. 568 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,069 Also, I can't call for help. 569 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:13,069 I don't have any quarters. 570 00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:15,613 Hard to argue 571 00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:15,613 with that logic. 572 00:13:16,573 --> 00:13:18,074 - You know I... 573 00:13:16,573 --> 00:13:18,074 - Sir, I need to talk to you 574 00:13:18,116 --> 00:13:20,618 about the Weichselbraun case. 575 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,413 Oh, I didn't realize you 576 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,413 were here, Mr. Weichselbraun. 577 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,456 I was in the area, 578 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,456 and the captain is a fan, 579 00:13:25,498 --> 00:13:28,250 so I came by to give him 580 00:13:25,498 --> 00:13:28,250 a little gift, as a thank you. 581 00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:30,920 It's a signed copy 582 00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:30,920 of his book of mouth exercises. 583 00:13:30,962 --> 00:13:34,256 "Reed It and Weep." 584 00:13:30,962 --> 00:13:34,256 "Reed" with two Es? 585 00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:36,009 It's my favorite joke 586 00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:36,009 of all time. 587 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,719 - I'll come back later. 588 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,719 - Oh, nonsense. 589 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,763 I'm sure John... 590 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,763 he insists I call him "John"... 591 00:13:40,805 --> 00:13:42,264 I'm sure John would 592 00:13:40,805 --> 00:13:42,264 appreciate an update 593 00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:44,767 on the whereabouts of his oboe, 594 00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:44,767 wouldn't you, John? 595 00:13:44,809 --> 00:13:46,268 - Yeah. 596 00:13:44,809 --> 00:13:46,268 - Well said, John. 597 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,021 - Did you hear what John said? 598 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,021 - I did, 599 00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,397 but it's an open 600 00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,397 investigation, 601 00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:51,190 and I don't think it's proper 602 00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:51,190 to share information 603 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,692 with the parties involved. 604 00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,360 Well, that's why you're 605 00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,360 no longer the primary. 606 00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:56,613 John played oboe for 607 00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:56,613 Lynne Cheney. 608 00:13:56,654 --> 00:13:58,573 I'm sure we can 609 00:13:56,654 --> 00:13:58,573 trust him to be discreet. 610 00:13:58,615 --> 00:13:59,574 Out with it. 611 00:13:59,616 --> 00:14:00,742 Okay, well, 612 00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:01,743 John, you're under arrest. 613 00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:03,077 - What? 614 00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:03,077 - Excuse me? 615 00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:05,413 He staged the robbery 616 00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:05,413 for the insurance money 617 00:14:05,455 --> 00:14:08,583 because he's broke, because 618 00:14:05,455 --> 00:14:08,583 oboists are not celebrities. 619 00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:10,292 This is ludicrous, Boyle. 620 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,378 Do you have one iota 621 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,378 of evidence? 622 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,714 I found the oboe 623 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,714 for sale online. 624 00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:17,675 We traced the IP address back to 625 00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:17,675 Mr. Weichselbraun's computer. 626 00:14:20,637 --> 00:14:23,181 Oh, John. 627 00:14:23,222 --> 00:14:25,725 Okay, Sarge, everyone 628 00:14:23,222 --> 00:14:25,725 knows you're a superhero, 629 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,810 so you lower Scully and I 630 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,810 into that skylight 631 00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:28,937 and then fly down 632 00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:28,937 to meet us. 633 00:14:28,978 --> 00:14:30,855 - You know that's impossible. 634 00:14:28,978 --> 00:14:30,855 - Fine. 635 00:14:30,897 --> 00:14:32,106 We'll lower Scully 636 00:14:30,897 --> 00:14:32,106 down together, 637 00:14:32,148 --> 00:14:34,358 and then flop onto him 638 00:14:32,148 --> 00:14:34,358 like a giant mattress. 639 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,611 No, you go first, 640 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,611 then I lower Scully, 641 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:40,365 and you... 642 00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:40,365 you get to catch him. 643 00:14:40,406 --> 00:14:41,866 Great. 644 00:14:40,406 --> 00:14:41,866 I love that plan. 645 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,535 Come on. 646 00:14:44,577 --> 00:14:46,663 Whoa! 647 00:14:46,704 --> 00:14:47,789 I got him. 648 00:14:54,336 --> 00:14:56,255 - Look what I found. 649 00:14:54,336 --> 00:14:56,255 - French fries? 650 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,340 What? 651 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,340 No, it's Hitchcock. 652 00:14:58,383 --> 00:15:01,177 Where would I have found 653 00:14:58,383 --> 00:15:01,177 French fries in a weed farm? 654 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,181 Oh, man, look at him. 655 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,181 This is bad. 656 00:15:05,223 --> 00:15:07,725 He hates standing up. 657 00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,769 To conquer my fear 658 00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,769 of businessmen, 659 00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:11,688 I must walk among them. 660 00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:13,690 I will shake 661 00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:13,690 their clammy hands 662 00:15:13,731 --> 00:15:16,734 and listen to them talk 663 00:15:13,731 --> 00:15:16,734 about things like 664 00:15:16,776 --> 00:15:19,862 how hard Wednesdays can be. 665 00:15:19,904 --> 00:15:23,658 Does this outfit look 666 00:15:19,904 --> 00:15:23,658 drab and lifeless enough? 667 00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,743 Also, thanks, Amy, 668 00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,743 for letting me borrow it. 669 00:15:25,785 --> 00:15:28,955 You're welcome. 670 00:15:25,785 --> 00:15:28,955 I wore that suit to prom. 671 00:15:28,997 --> 00:15:30,957 Student chaperone. 672 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:33,292 I guess this 673 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:33,292 is really happening. 674 00:15:37,797 --> 00:15:40,383 How about those 675 00:15:37,797 --> 00:15:40,383 quarterly write-offs? 676 00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,760 And did you hear 677 00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,760 about the merger? 678 00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:45,888 Also, we all need to go in 679 00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:45,888 on those flowers for Beth. 680 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:47,807 Aw, Wednesdays. 681 00:15:47,849 --> 00:15:49,100 Who are you again? 682 00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:52,311 Gina, from Sales. 683 00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:52,311 I have the plant on my desk. 684 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,982 Oh, yeah. 685 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,982 You want to sit with us. 686 00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:57,608 We'll all be 687 00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:57,608 dead so soon. 688 00:15:57,650 --> 00:15:59,027 What? 689 00:15:59,068 --> 00:16:00,445 I would love to sit. 690 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,491 Ugh. 691 00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:08,369 That was a nightmare. 692 00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:08,369 I ate a Caesar salad wrap. 693 00:16:08,411 --> 00:16:10,955 I'm so proud of you, 694 00:16:08,411 --> 00:16:10,955 you lioness. 695 00:16:10,997 --> 00:16:12,165 You faced your fear. 696 00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:15,585 And I emerged victorious. 697 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,837 Yay! 698 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,548 That was a wig? 699 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:23,968 You didn't think I'd put 700 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:23,968 my actual hair in a ponytail? 701 00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:24,886 Are you insane? 702 00:16:24,927 --> 00:16:26,387 Oh, there's the boss. 703 00:16:28,765 --> 00:16:32,060 I ask only one time. 704 00:16:28,765 --> 00:16:32,060 Who do you work for? 705 00:16:32,101 --> 00:16:34,979 DEA? FBI? Police? 706 00:16:35,021 --> 00:16:36,898 I'm in the cowboy mafia. 707 00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:38,816 I work for the Dallas 708 00:16:36,939 --> 00:16:38,816 Buyers Club. 709 00:16:38,858 --> 00:16:40,943 - I came up with that name. 710 00:16:38,858 --> 00:16:40,943 - No, you didn't. 711 00:16:40,985 --> 00:16:43,071 It's a movie about AIDS. 712 00:16:43,112 --> 00:16:45,823 You're lying. 713 00:16:43,112 --> 00:16:45,823 Let's try again. 714 00:16:45,865 --> 00:16:47,492 - FBI? 715 00:16:45,865 --> 00:16:47,492 - Oof! 716 00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,868 - DEA? 717 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,328 - Police? 718 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,328 - Aah! 719 00:16:50,370 --> 00:16:51,913 Oh no, 720 00:16:50,370 --> 00:16:51,913 he's not gonna last. 721 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:53,664 Oh, Jake, you got 722 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:53,664 to do something. 723 00:16:53,706 --> 00:16:56,084 I don't want to 724 00:16:53,706 --> 00:16:56,084 marry Hitchcock's wife. 725 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,211 Here we come, Chickpea. 726 00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:01,506 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 727 00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:01,506 Easy! 728 00:17:01,547 --> 00:17:02,590 Howdy there! 729 00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:04,592 I'd really appreciate it 730 00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:04,592 kindly 731 00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:07,595 if y'all would stop punching 732 00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:07,595 my associate Reno, there. 733 00:17:07,637 --> 00:17:10,556 Let me introduce myself. 734 00:17:07,637 --> 00:17:10,556 My name is Alamo. 735 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,725 This here's Tex, 736 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,725 and this is... 737 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,268 Fred. 738 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,268 Just Fred. 739 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:17,647 And we are... 740 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,232 the Dallas Buyers Club. 741 00:17:19,273 --> 00:17:21,776 Okay. 742 00:17:19,273 --> 00:17:21,776 We make a deal. 743 00:17:22,944 --> 00:17:24,195 Sounds good. 744 00:17:24,237 --> 00:17:25,863 No, I just told them 745 00:17:24,237 --> 00:17:25,863 to surround you. 746 00:17:25,905 --> 00:17:27,698 Dagnabbit. 747 00:17:25,905 --> 00:17:27,698 Oof! 748 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,412 Look, Sarge, I'm sorry 749 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,412 that we're in this mess, 750 00:17:32,453 --> 00:17:33,788 but on the bright side, 751 00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:35,873 we don't have to deal 752 00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:35,873 with some lame oboist. 753 00:17:35,915 --> 00:17:38,042 You should be apologizing 754 00:17:35,915 --> 00:17:38,042 to Hitchcock and Scully. 755 00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:40,586 You took them out of their 756 00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:40,586 house mouse comfort zone, 757 00:17:40,628 --> 00:17:41,921 and now they might get killed. 758 00:17:41,963 --> 00:17:44,132 You really think 759 00:17:41,963 --> 00:17:44,132 they're going to kill us? 760 00:17:44,173 --> 00:17:46,843 Oh, no, now I'm starting 761 00:17:44,173 --> 00:17:46,843 to panic sweat. 762 00:17:46,884 --> 00:17:48,052 Starting to? 763 00:17:48,094 --> 00:17:49,429 What have you been doing 764 00:17:48,094 --> 00:17:49,429 for the past hour? 765 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,556 - Normal sweating. 766 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,556 - Wait a minute. 767 00:17:51,597 --> 00:17:55,351 If you get killed, 768 00:17:51,597 --> 00:17:55,351 what happens to all your debt? 769 00:17:55,394 --> 00:17:58,229 Loophole! 770 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:02,817 Oh, you sweaty, 771 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:02,817 chair-spinning morons. 772 00:18:02,859 --> 00:18:04,318 You're gonna get us 773 00:18:02,859 --> 00:18:04,318 out of here. 774 00:18:05,404 --> 00:18:08,197 Boyle, may I speak to you? 775 00:18:08,239 --> 00:18:09,408 I don't know. 776 00:18:09,449 --> 00:18:11,576 Are you still mad 777 00:18:09,449 --> 00:18:11,576 that I arrested John? 778 00:18:11,617 --> 00:18:14,078 No. 779 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,998 I know he's guilty. 780 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,998 I'm just chagrined. 781 00:18:17,039 --> 00:18:18,833 Deeply chagrined. 782 00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:22,379 I finally understand the old 783 00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:22,379 adage, "Never meet your heroes." 784 00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:26,215 This is just like when I found 785 00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:26,215 out Robert Frost was from... 786 00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:28,176 California. 787 00:18:28,217 --> 00:18:29,594 Or when I saw Mario Batali 788 00:18:28,217 --> 00:18:29,594 with his hair down. 789 00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:33,681 Well, you've handled this case 790 00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:33,681 with the utmost professionalism, 791 00:18:33,723 --> 00:18:37,310 while I've behaved crassly. 792 00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:39,687 I think I've figured out 793 00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:39,687 a way to make it up to you. 794 00:18:39,729 --> 00:18:42,441 Oh, my God, 795 00:18:39,729 --> 00:18:42,441 is Dianne Wiest here? 796 00:18:42,482 --> 00:18:45,776 No, I've hired a trio 797 00:18:42,482 --> 00:18:45,776 of classical musicians 798 00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,987 to perform 799 00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,987 a Shostakovich cantata, 800 00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:52,283 originally written as 801 00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:52,283 an apology to a dear friend. 802 00:18:55,244 --> 00:18:57,079 Are you stealing 803 00:18:55,244 --> 00:18:57,079 kitchen supplies? 804 00:18:57,121 --> 00:18:58,789 Just let us 805 00:18:57,121 --> 00:18:58,789 have this stuff. 806 00:18:58,831 --> 00:19:00,875 You have so much, 807 00:18:58,831 --> 00:19:00,875 and we have so little. 808 00:19:00,917 --> 00:19:03,794 Perhaps I'll just 809 00:19:00,917 --> 00:19:03,794 buy you a drink instead. 810 00:19:03,836 --> 00:19:06,005 Yeah, that would be best. 811 00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:09,175 Classical musicians 812 00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:09,175 are savages. 813 00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:11,093 They're not gonna 814 00:19:09,217 --> 00:19:11,093 kill you fast, Scully. 815 00:19:11,135 --> 00:19:12,762 They're gonna 816 00:19:11,135 --> 00:19:12,762 make it real slow. 817 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,013 First they're gonna scalp you, 818 00:19:14,055 --> 00:19:15,723 and then they're gonna 819 00:19:14,055 --> 00:19:15,723 rip your tongue out! 820 00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:18,226 No. 821 00:19:15,765 --> 00:19:18,226 That's my cupcake taster! 822 00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,061 What are you doing? 823 00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,061 Lay off him! 824 00:19:20,102 --> 00:19:23,189 Never! For my plan to work, 825 00:19:20,102 --> 00:19:23,189 he's gotta be basting in sweat. 826 00:19:23,231 --> 00:19:26,067 Hitchcock, you once told me you 827 00:19:23,231 --> 00:19:26,067 could roll that chair anywhere. 828 00:19:26,108 --> 00:19:27,527 Think you could take it 829 00:19:26,108 --> 00:19:27,527 up those stairs? 830 00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:29,404 I once rode a chair home 831 00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:29,404 in a blizzard. 832 00:19:29,446 --> 00:19:32,240 So, yeah, I can go up stairs. 833 00:19:32,281 --> 00:19:33,866 So do it. 834 00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:39,205 Oh, he's amazing. 835 00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,832 He's like a big, lazy 836 00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,832 Michelle Kwan. 837 00:19:41,874 --> 00:19:44,252 But how's he gonna get 838 00:19:41,874 --> 00:19:44,252 up the stairs? 839 00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:46,587 Jake! 840 00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:46,587 He already did. 841 00:19:49,131 --> 00:19:50,841 Okay, it's go time. 842 00:19:50,883 --> 00:19:53,219 Help! 843 00:19:50,883 --> 00:19:53,219 My man's having a heart attack! 844 00:19:53,261 --> 00:19:55,763 Help! 845 00:19:55,805 --> 00:19:56,889 Hitchcock, now! 846 00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:01,852 Scully! 847 00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:01,852 Grab his gun. 848 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,942 It's not sticky 849 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,942 because I'm so juicy! 850 00:20:07,984 --> 00:20:09,318 Told you I knew 851 00:20:07,984 --> 00:20:09,318 what I was doing. 852 00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:10,570 Black Fred, think quick. 853 00:20:10,611 --> 00:20:12,863 No, no, ow! 854 00:20:10,611 --> 00:20:12,863 That was a gun, man! 855 00:20:12,905 --> 00:20:15,492 Scully, grab that dude's knife 856 00:20:12,905 --> 00:20:15,492 and cut us loose. 857 00:20:15,534 --> 00:20:17,285 We're gonna get the rest 858 00:20:15,534 --> 00:20:17,285 of these guys. 859 00:20:17,326 --> 00:20:21,872 It's time for Operation Beans, 860 00:20:17,326 --> 00:20:21,872 phase two, the refrying. 861 00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:23,458 Sure you're ready to go 862 00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:23,458 through with this? 863 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,002 You know what? 864 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,002 Today was stupid. 865 00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:28,254 But seeing you both overcome 866 00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:28,254 your fears did help me, 867 00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:31,257 and I think we've 868 00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:31,257 all grown as women. 869 00:20:33,385 --> 00:20:34,386 Okay. 870 00:20:34,428 --> 00:20:36,095 I'm ready. 871 00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:37,972 Stab me! Stab me! 872 00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:39,265 Do it, just do it! 873 00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:41,309 - Rosa? 874 00:20:39,307 --> 00:20:41,309 - I'm psyching myself up. 875 00:20:43,978 --> 00:20:45,855 Don't look at them! 876 00:20:43,978 --> 00:20:45,855 Look at me! 877 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:48,691 Do your job! 878 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:48,691 Drain me! 879 00:20:51,361 --> 00:20:52,612 There they are! 880 00:20:52,653 --> 00:20:55,114 Everybody give it up 881 00:20:52,653 --> 00:20:55,114 for Hitchcock and Scully. 882 00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:58,452 To thank you 883 00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:58,452 for all you did, 884 00:20:58,493 --> 00:21:01,371 bringing down a drug ring, 885 00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:03,080 we have a little present 886 00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:03,080 for you: 887 00:21:03,122 --> 00:21:05,459 brand-new, top-of-the-line 888 00:21:03,122 --> 00:21:05,459 desk chairs, 889 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,961 extra padding, with adjustable 890 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,961 height and recline. 891 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,088 Hey, chair! 892 00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:13,132 Get ready to meet 893 00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:13,132 your new best friend: 894 00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:15,510 my ass. 895 00:21:17,637 --> 00:21:18,929 That was very nice of you. 896 00:21:18,971 --> 00:21:20,181 They did good. 897 00:21:20,222 --> 00:21:21,391 Also, I was worried 898 00:21:20,222 --> 00:21:21,391 they might want 899 00:21:21,433 --> 00:21:22,683 to go out in the field more, 900 00:21:22,725 --> 00:21:24,935 and I need something to 901 00:21:22,725 --> 00:21:24,935 keep them at their desks. 902 00:21:24,977 --> 00:21:27,522 You really think that that 903 00:21:24,977 --> 00:21:27,522 is going to keep them at their... 904 00:21:27,564 --> 00:21:29,273 and they're both 905 00:21:27,564 --> 00:21:29,273 asleep already. 906 00:21:29,315 --> 00:21:31,067 And the city's 907 00:21:29,315 --> 00:21:31,067 safer for it. 908 00:21:31,108 --> 00:21:33,319 Sleep tight, 909 00:21:31,108 --> 00:21:33,319 you magnificent oafs. 910 00:21:33,362 --> 00:21:34,571 You deserve it. 911 00:21:34,613 --> 00:21:36,448 Fremulon. 912 00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:38,240 - Not a doctor. 913 00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:38,240 - Shh!