1 00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:05,034 - Greg. - Larry. 2 00:00:05,034 --> 00:00:06,063 - What's going on? 3 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,202 Any idea why Marshal Haas 4 00:00:07,202 --> 00:00:08,101 called this special meeting? 5 00:00:08,211 --> 00:00:08,481 - I don't know. 6 00:00:08,621 --> 00:00:10,659 Do you think she saw the video we put on the Internet 7 00:00:10,679 --> 00:00:11,917 to lure Jimmy Figgis down here? 8 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,805 "Corn Dog pewwwnd by Go Kart." 9 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:17,442 - It's "pwned," but that was really adorable. 10 00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:18,601 - Well, if she has, 11 00:00:18,611 --> 00:00:20,509 it would ruin our entire plan. 12 00:00:20,509 --> 00:00:21,568 Here she comes. 13 00:00:24,934 --> 00:00:26,433 - Gentlemen. - What's up? 14 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,901 - So how's it going? 15 00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:29,300 - It's good. It's really good. 16 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:31,038 Uh, keeping a low prof. 17 00:00:31,038 --> 00:00:32,407 No contact with Brooklyn. 18 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,566 No one's questioned our identities. 19 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:34,974 Definitely staying off the Net, 20 00:00:34,974 --> 00:00:36,573 right, Greg? 21 00:00:36,573 --> 00:00:38,401 - Right. - That's it? 22 00:00:38,411 --> 00:00:39,969 That's all you have to say to me? 23 00:00:39,969 --> 00:00:41,508 - Yep, I think we're good. 24 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,366 - So nobody's going to ask me how I'm doing? 25 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,074 - Oh, I didn't think this was a personal conversation. 26 00:00:45,074 --> 00:00:47,302 - It's not; turn back around and watch the movie. 27 00:00:47,302 --> 00:00:48,571 This is official business. 28 00:00:48,571 --> 00:00:49,740 I was just testing you, 29 00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:51,867 because Greg is the kind of person who cares 30 00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:55,873 about his friends and can sense when something is off with them. 31 00:00:55,873 --> 00:00:59,740 - Is something off with you, Marshal Haas? 32 00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:00,739 - I don't know. 33 00:01:00,739 --> 00:01:02,737 I mean, I met someone, okay, 34 00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:04,075 and, um... 35 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:05,983 I mean, it's not my husband, 36 00:01:05,993 --> 00:01:07,901 I mean, nothing's happened yet, but... 37 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,709 My entire body is on fire. 38 00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:11,967 He's Cuban. 39 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:12,966 - Is this still official business? 40 00:01:12,976 --> 00:01:14,305 - Of course it is. 41 00:01:14,305 --> 00:01:15,604 Shut up and watch the movie. - Yep. 42 00:01:15,604 --> 00:01:17,472 - Pop quiz. 43 00:01:17,472 --> 00:01:19,340 If Larry were married and everything was fine, 44 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,708 and I mean, honestly, everything is totally fine. 45 00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:22,707 - Sure. 46 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,335 - But he knew that one night 47 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,333 with this person could give him everything he needed 48 00:01:26,343 --> 00:01:28,441 for the rest of his life. 49 00:01:28,441 --> 00:01:29,440 Would he do it? - Yes? 50 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,368 - Yes? Good. 51 00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:32,966 What if this person that Larry met was young? 52 00:01:32,976 --> 00:01:35,034 I mean, really young. 53 00:01:35,044 --> 00:01:37,042 - Well, I don't think Larry would do anything illegal. 54 00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:38,671 - You know, it seems to me 55 00:01:38,671 --> 00:01:40,938 Larry has needs 56 00:01:40,938 --> 00:01:45,304 and deserves to have those needs... 57 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,602 met. 58 00:01:47,602 --> 00:01:50,069 - Greg, you're really great at being undercover. 59 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,967 You both passed the test. 60 00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:53,606 Marco! Vamanos! 61 00:02:14,874 --> 00:02:16,403 - Guys, guys, 62 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,871 the marshal gave me good news about Jake. 63 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,470 - Jake's back. Jake's back! 64 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:20,639 Oh, we're not ready. We need gummy worms. 65 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:21,708 We need them now! 66 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,707 - No, Charles. 67 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,675 Jake is still wherever he is, 68 00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:26,573 but since it's been six months, 69 00:02:26,573 --> 00:02:28,770 the marshal is letting me write a one-page letter to Jake 70 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:31,508 which she will read to him and then set on fire. 71 00:02:31,508 --> 00:02:32,866 Is there anything you guys want me to write? 72 00:02:32,876 --> 00:02:35,034 - You have to tell Jake about my new son, Nikolaj. 73 00:02:35,044 --> 00:02:36,473 That he's four years old, 74 00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:37,472 he's from Latvia, 75 00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:38,471 he calls me "comrade," 76 00:02:38,471 --> 00:02:39,799 and I love him so much. 77 00:02:39,809 --> 00:02:41,408 - Will do. 78 00:02:41,408 --> 00:02:42,706 Rosa, anything you want to tell Jake? 79 00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:45,733 - Yeah. Tell him I said... 80 00:02:45,743 --> 00:02:47,701 - You want me to write that you nodded slightly? 81 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,770 - He'll know what it means. 82 00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:50,808 - I would like you to tell Jacob 83 00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:54,575 that I'm thinking about him and hoping that he's safe. 84 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,373 What? Meet the new Gina, 85 00:02:56,373 --> 00:02:59,640 who always puts others before herself. 86 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,467 Can you make the whole letter about me doing that? 87 00:03:02,477 --> 00:03:05,504 - Yeah, I'll just tell him that everything's exactly the same. 88 00:03:05,504 --> 00:03:07,572 - Guys, briefing room, five minutes. 89 00:03:07,572 --> 00:03:08,670 We're getting a new captain. 90 00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:09,699 Again! 91 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:12,307 - Hello, Larry. 92 00:03:12,307 --> 00:03:13,705 It's your neighbor, Greg. 93 00:03:13,705 --> 00:03:15,034 Can I try your hot tub out? 94 00:03:15,044 --> 00:03:17,442 I'm thinking of getting one. 95 00:03:17,442 --> 00:03:19,640 - Of course, that's a totally normal thing to do 96 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:20,708 in 100 degree weather. 97 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:22,637 Come on in and hop in the tub. 98 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,934 - Thank you. 99 00:03:24,934 --> 00:03:27,002 We need to talk without being overheard. 100 00:03:27,002 --> 00:03:28,001 Turn on the bubbles. 101 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,000 - You got it. 102 00:03:31,008 --> 00:03:32,936 - Jimmy "The Butcher" Figgis saw our video. 103 00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:34,505 - How do you know? 104 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:35,833 - A man with a thick New Jersey accent 105 00:03:35,843 --> 00:03:37,342 called the Fun Zone, 106 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,869 asking to meet the guys from "the corn dog video." 107 00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,737 - Figgis is coming to kill us. 108 00:03:41,737 --> 00:03:42,906 We should call the Nine-Nine for backup. 109 00:03:42,906 --> 00:03:44,375 - Oh, absolutely not. 110 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:45,903 That might alert the marshals. 111 00:03:45,903 --> 00:03:48,501 We can take Figgis and his men down on our own. 112 00:03:48,511 --> 00:03:49,899 - Right. 113 00:03:49,909 --> 00:03:51,338 Okay. 114 00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,036 Let's go arm up. 115 00:03:53,036 --> 00:03:55,703 Figgis has no idea what's about to hit him. 116 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,472 Also it probably goes without saying, 117 00:03:57,472 --> 00:03:59,470 but it's chill to whiz in this thing. 118 00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:01,308 I mean, I have been. You can if you want. 119 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,607 I haven't been if you haven't. 120 00:04:02,607 --> 00:04:04,035 Have you? I haven't. 121 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,034 Have you? 122 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,672 - We can't just waltz in there 123 00:04:06,672 --> 00:04:08,041 and buy whatever we want. 124 00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:09,340 They'll do a federal background check 125 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:11,008 on Greg Stickney and Larry Sherbert, 126 00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:13,406 and that will set off alarms in the marshal's office. 127 00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:15,933 No, we'll have to bribe the gun store owner 128 00:04:15,943 --> 00:04:17,472 so he doesn't run our names. 129 00:04:17,472 --> 00:04:19,799 - But we don't have any money. 130 00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:21,368 Oh, my God. 131 00:04:21,368 --> 00:04:22,866 I'm the bribe, aren't I? 132 00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:24,005 - You're not the bribe. 133 00:04:24,005 --> 00:04:25,334 - Why, what's wrong with my body? 134 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:26,672 - Actually I borrowed $3,000 135 00:04:26,672 --> 00:04:28,001 from my walking group friend Ruth. 136 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,340 Ruth, I'm going to be straight with you. 137 00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:30,738 I accidentally knocked up a woman. 138 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,606 - Greg! - You know me. 139 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,504 I see a pair of thick weighty breasts 140 00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,871 and all logic flies out the window. 141 00:04:37,871 --> 00:04:41,707 - Heterosexual you is such a dog. 142 00:04:42,706 --> 00:04:43,705 - Can I help you? 143 00:04:43,705 --> 00:04:44,874 - Ah, no thanks, just browsing. 144 00:04:44,874 --> 00:04:46,033 Although, you know what, 145 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:48,191 since I'm here, why don't I grab, like, 146 00:04:48,191 --> 00:04:50,339 eight handguns, couple of shotguns, and, I don't know, 147 00:04:50,339 --> 00:04:51,937 three more handguns. 148 00:04:51,937 --> 00:04:52,966 - Can I see some ID? 149 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,834 - Yes, of course, of course. 150 00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,342 Oh. Would you look at that? 151 00:04:57,342 --> 00:04:58,441 I forgot my license, 152 00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:01,438 but I do happen to have this big old wad... 153 00:05:01,438 --> 00:05:02,437 - No problem. - Hmm? 154 00:05:02,437 --> 00:05:03,436 - I don't need your ID. 155 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,974 Federal database is down anyway. 156 00:05:04,974 --> 00:05:06,303 Wink wink. - Ah. 157 00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:07,671 - So how do you like your ammo? 158 00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:08,700 By the box or by the bucket? 159 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:09,699 - Cool, cool, cool, cool. 160 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,868 Our country is broken. 161 00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:12,367 - What? - Bucket! 162 00:05:12,377 --> 00:05:14,834 I'll just take your biggest bucket of bullets. 163 00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,073 - Okay, everyone. 164 00:05:16,073 --> 00:05:17,901 We've been assigned a new commander. 165 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,669 Please give him a warm welcome. 166 00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:22,037 - Hey, guys. 167 00:05:22,037 --> 00:05:23,406 I'm Captain Stentley. 168 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,033 Ah, yuck, that sounds so formal. 169 00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:27,771 Um... 170 00:05:27,771 --> 00:05:29,000 Captain Jason. 171 00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,568 No. 172 00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:31,737 Call me C.J. 173 00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:33,066 Okay, so that's all I got, 174 00:05:33,076 --> 00:05:34,305 unless you guys have any questions. 175 00:05:34,305 --> 00:05:35,933 - Yeah, you wearing sweat pants? 176 00:05:35,943 --> 00:05:37,372 - No. Oh, yes. 177 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,500 Yes, I am. 178 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:41,667 I, um, had some hot cocoa this morning, 179 00:05:41,677 --> 00:05:43,466 and I totally biffed it. 180 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:44,674 - I like this guy. 181 00:05:44,674 --> 00:05:45,673 - Uh, if I may ask, 182 00:05:45,673 --> 00:05:47,671 how did you become captain? 183 00:05:47,671 --> 00:05:53,406 You just seem a little, uh... 184 00:05:53,406 --> 00:05:54,734 - Unqualified? - No. 185 00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:55,773 No, no, no, no. 186 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,042 - It's because I am, actually. 187 00:05:57,042 --> 00:05:58,540 Here's how it happened. 188 00:05:58,540 --> 00:06:00,469 I had an appointment at my dermatologist 189 00:06:00,469 --> 00:06:02,806 at 4027th Avenue. 190 00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:06,602 But I went to 2047th Avenue by mistake. 191 00:06:06,602 --> 00:06:08,770 It's like numbers are so crazy, am I right? 192 00:06:08,770 --> 00:06:09,799 Amen. - Not really. 193 00:06:09,809 --> 00:06:10,968 - Anyway, 194 00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:11,967 there was this big drug bust going down. 195 00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,305 I showed up, spooked the kingpin. 196 00:06:14,305 --> 00:06:16,872 He darts for the front door, trips, 197 00:06:16,872 --> 00:06:19,340 shoots himself in the stomach accidentally, 198 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,507 and then after that everybody pretty much surrendered 199 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,035 very quickly and they made me a captain about a week later. 200 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,073 - Didn't you have to pass the exams? 201 00:06:26,073 --> 00:06:27,901 Like, wasn't there, like, an interview 202 00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,039 where they met you and... 203 00:06:30,039 --> 00:06:31,507 heard you speak? 204 00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:32,636 - Presumably. 205 00:06:32,636 --> 00:06:34,075 Look, I'm going to be honest. 206 00:06:34,075 --> 00:06:35,374 Between you and me, 207 00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:36,373 I don't fully know what I'm doing, 208 00:06:36,373 --> 00:06:37,901 but it seems like you guys do, 209 00:06:37,901 --> 00:06:39,699 so I'm just gonna stay out of the way 210 00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:41,467 and give you guys whatever you need. 211 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,675 - Ceej? Hi, Gina Linetti here. 212 00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:45,733 What I need is an assistant of my own, 213 00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:47,841 just to do my paperwork and all my other work. 214 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,400 - Work is the worst. I get it. 215 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,768 Uh. Hire whoever you want. 216 00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,736 I just want you guys to be happy. 217 00:06:52,736 --> 00:06:54,604 - And I will help you with that. - Great! 218 00:06:54,604 --> 00:06:57,302 Hey, we should do a hang sesh like this every morning. 219 00:06:57,302 --> 00:06:59,300 This is amazing. Where do ya... 220 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,309 where's my office? 221 00:07:00,309 --> 00:07:02,337 - I love him. 222 00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:03,905 He's the best captain we've ever had, 223 00:07:03,905 --> 00:07:05,004 hands down. 224 00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:09,070 - I don't know what you're so excited about. 225 00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,868 We have dangerous task ahead of us. 226 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,366 - Wait, I thought you said we didn't need backup. 227 00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:14,904 Are you worried? Do we need to call the Nine-Nine? 228 00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:15,903 - No, no, no, no. 229 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,042 We have the drop on Figgis, 230 00:07:17,042 --> 00:07:18,600 we're fully armed up, 231 00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:21,008 and we have plenty of time to lay a trap. 232 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,367 - Well, okay, then. 233 00:07:22,377 --> 00:07:24,434 See you around, Coral Palms. 234 00:07:24,434 --> 00:07:27,042 Adios, constant pool of sweat in my taint! 235 00:07:27,042 --> 00:07:28,440 You do one, Greg. 236 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,439 - All right. 237 00:07:29,439 --> 00:07:30,438 See you never, 238 00:07:30,438 --> 00:07:32,666 drive-through vape station. 239 00:07:32,676 --> 00:07:34,704 - Adios, weird Juggalo encampment! 240 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,732 - Bye-bye, slightly askew stop sign. 241 00:07:36,742 --> 00:07:38,301 Whoa-oh. 242 00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:40,638 - Oh, come on, for running a stop sign? 243 00:07:40,638 --> 00:07:41,737 We just passed someone driving 244 00:07:41,737 --> 00:07:43,505 with both feet out the window. 245 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,073 - Just be cool, Larry. 246 00:07:46,073 --> 00:07:47,671 - Gentlemen. 247 00:07:47,671 --> 00:07:49,739 I am going to need to see your license and registration. 248 00:07:49,739 --> 00:07:50,838 - Yeah. 249 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:51,967 - Whoa, hold on. 250 00:07:51,977 --> 00:07:53,705 What do we got going on back there? 251 00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:56,073 - Oh, uh, yesterday's newspaper. 252 00:07:56,073 --> 00:07:57,571 - No, I'm talking about the pile of guns 253 00:07:57,571 --> 00:07:58,940 and the bucket of bullets. 254 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:00,738 - Right, right, right. - Right, right, yeah. 255 00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:01,967 - Bucket of bullets, sure, sure. 256 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,216 - I need you both to step out of the vehicle. 257 00:08:03,226 --> 00:08:04,584 - Yep, it'd be weird if you didn't. 258 00:08:06,742 --> 00:08:07,771 - This is a little bit weird. 259 00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:08,840 Never been arrested before. 260 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,568 I mean, I was "detained" once 261 00:08:10,568 --> 00:08:11,937 by Taylor Swift's security team, 262 00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:13,875 but that was a misunderstanding. 263 00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,573 She's probably going to write a song about me. 264 00:08:15,573 --> 00:08:17,302 - We got to get out of here. 265 00:08:17,302 --> 00:08:18,800 Figgis could show up at any minute. 266 00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:19,869 - Don't worry. 267 00:08:19,869 --> 00:08:21,437 We can outsmart some small-town sheriff. 268 00:08:21,437 --> 00:08:22,736 We're NYPD detectives. 269 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:23,775 We caught the Son of Sam. 270 00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:25,473 Ice-T plays us on TV. 271 00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:26,972 We keep the Tony's safe. 272 00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,450 - Hey, fellas. 273 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:29,939 Listen, I am sorry about the delay. 274 00:08:29,939 --> 00:08:33,405 We are overwhelmed here today. 275 00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:34,834 We hired our first woman, 276 00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:36,602 so of course she needs her own bathroom 277 00:08:36,602 --> 00:08:37,801 and the shirt don't fit right... 278 00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:39,539 Both things chaos. 279 00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,008 - It's not a problem, Sheriff. 280 00:08:41,008 --> 00:08:43,535 You have nothing to worry about. 281 00:08:43,535 --> 00:08:45,503 - I think we all agree that C.J. 282 00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:47,302 is, to put it mildly, 283 00:08:47,302 --> 00:08:48,420 not very impressive. 284 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:49,539 - I watched him try to close the blinds 285 00:08:49,539 --> 00:08:51,637 in his office for 40 minutes. 286 00:08:51,637 --> 00:08:53,505 He finally just gave up and changed his pants 287 00:08:53,505 --> 00:08:54,804 with the windows wide open. 288 00:08:54,804 --> 00:08:56,432 - Something has to be done, 289 00:08:56,442 --> 00:08:57,741 and I have a plan. 290 00:08:57,741 --> 00:08:59,639 We use mankind's greatest weapon. 291 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:00,968 - A grenade. - The written word. 292 00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:01,967 - Ugh, I'm out. 293 00:09:01,977 --> 00:09:02,966 - I drafted a letter 294 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,975 to One Police Plaza saying 295 00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:05,284 that we think Captain Stentley 296 00:09:05,284 --> 00:09:06,602 is not a good fit for our precinct. 297 00:09:06,602 --> 00:09:08,900 If we all sign it, they'll have to act. 298 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,908 - Hey, guys, I'm Emily, Gina's assistant. 299 00:09:10,908 --> 00:09:12,606 - Wait, she actually got that? 300 00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:14,304 - "Wait, she actually got that?" 301 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,372 Sorry, I'm under strict orders from Gina 302 00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:18,500 to mock you whenever I see an opening. 303 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:19,899 Follow me, please. 304 00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:22,366 Your 2:00 is here. 305 00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:23,505 - Okay, thanks, Em, 306 00:09:23,505 --> 00:09:25,104 and while I'm in this meeting, 307 00:09:25,104 --> 00:09:26,702 will you just shred some documents for me? 308 00:09:26,702 --> 00:09:27,971 Anything you see. It's all garbage. 309 00:09:27,971 --> 00:09:29,339 - On it. 310 00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:31,337 - What's going on? We were busy. 311 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,006 - Busy trying to ruin everything around here 312 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,334 with your dumb letter? 313 00:09:34,334 --> 00:09:36,003 This is a gravy train, people. 314 00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:38,800 Okay, C.J. will say yes to anything we ask for. 315 00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,337 Rosa, dare to dream. What do you want? 316 00:09:41,337 --> 00:09:42,766 - For him to be gone. 317 00:09:42,776 --> 00:09:45,333 - You want that more than you want walls around your desk 318 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:46,732 so Hitchcock can't stare at you 319 00:09:46,742 --> 00:09:48,440 with his big old google eyes anymore? 320 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:49,739 - C.J. stays. I love that guy. 321 00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:50,768 - Yes! - What? 322 00:09:50,768 --> 00:09:51,767 - That's not fair! - Come on. 323 00:09:51,777 --> 00:09:53,565 - And how about you, Charles? 324 00:09:53,575 --> 00:09:55,303 What do you want, baby boy? 325 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,472 - Well, I agree with Amy 326 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,500 that C.J. is totally unqualified 327 00:09:58,510 --> 00:09:59,899 and a disaster for the precinct, 328 00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:01,767 and I would really love a treadmill desk 329 00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:03,006 so I can hit my cardio targets. 330 00:10:03,006 --> 00:10:04,474 - Done. - Yes! 331 00:10:04,474 --> 00:10:05,933 - Boyle. - I'm sorry. 332 00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:07,501 I'm doing it for Nikolaj. 333 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,468 You'll understand once you bear unto Jake a child. 334 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,705 - Looks like you're all alone. 335 00:10:13,705 --> 00:10:15,533 Em, can you go ahead and show her out? 336 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:16,602 - Right this way, please, 337 00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:17,601 and can I validate your parking? 338 00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:18,770 - I work here. 339 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:19,769 - So, listen, do you mind 340 00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:20,768 if I ask you a few questions? 341 00:10:20,768 --> 00:10:22,306 It shouldn't take much time. 342 00:10:22,306 --> 00:10:24,075 - Great, because we actually have someplace 343 00:10:24,075 --> 00:10:25,074 important to be, 344 00:10:25,074 --> 00:10:26,502 so if it would speed things up, 345 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:27,841 we're happy to waive our right to counsel. 346 00:10:27,841 --> 00:10:29,299 - Wow, counsel, 347 00:10:29,309 --> 00:10:30,908 the "C" word. 348 00:10:30,908 --> 00:10:32,306 Wait, wait, wait. 349 00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:33,635 You guys in law enforcement? 350 00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:34,634 - No, no, no. 351 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,673 I just have a buddy 352 00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:37,471 who's a detective in the NYPD. 353 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,840 - Whoo, I bet he's better than me 354 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,308 at getting people to talk. 355 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,537 Everything I know about interrogation 356 00:10:41,537 --> 00:10:43,505 I learned from "The Newlywed Game." 357 00:10:43,505 --> 00:10:44,504 - Huh. 358 00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:45,603 - So, look, why don't you each 359 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,571 write down your answer to these questions. 360 00:10:47,571 --> 00:10:49,299 Okay, question one, 361 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:51,467 what were you going to use the guns for? 362 00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,975 Okay, and then read 'em out when you're done. 363 00:10:53,975 --> 00:10:55,433 Hunting. 364 00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:56,902 - Okay, see, I knew you boys were on the level. 365 00:10:56,902 --> 00:10:58,970 Okay, question two: 366 00:10:58,970 --> 00:10:59,999 What do you hunt? 367 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,034 - Deer. - Grouse and other small fowl. 368 00:11:05,044 --> 00:11:06,672 - Oh. - Yep, we hunt everything. 369 00:11:06,672 --> 00:11:07,971 You know, deer, grouse, 370 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,899 a horse once. 371 00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,837 - Yes, we love killing any animal. 372 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,465 - I hear ya. 373 00:11:13,475 --> 00:11:14,974 Okay, question three: 374 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,672 You said you had somewhere important to go, 375 00:11:16,672 --> 00:11:18,570 so where exactly is that? 376 00:11:22,506 --> 00:11:23,535 - Dinner date. - Dinner date. 377 00:11:23,535 --> 00:11:24,904 That's what mine says as well. 378 00:11:24,904 --> 00:11:26,752 Sorry about the handwriting. 379 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,600 The point is, neither of us are lying. 380 00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:29,969 Should we just pick up our keys on the way out, 381 00:11:29,969 --> 00:11:31,907 or how do you want to do this? 382 00:11:33,635 --> 00:11:36,972 - No one has ever beaten "The Newlywed Game." 383 00:11:36,972 --> 00:11:39,000 No one. 384 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,038 - Hey, Diaz. 385 00:11:41,038 --> 00:11:44,434 Right. The walls. 386 00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:49,939 - Can I help you? 387 00:11:49,939 --> 00:11:51,667 - I need the crime stats from last month. 388 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:52,906 - Fine. One sec. 389 00:11:56,043 --> 00:11:57,671 - Some people, huh? 390 00:11:57,671 --> 00:11:59,739 Hey, I'm up to 20,000 steps. 391 00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:00,838 - Seriously, Boyle? 392 00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:03,006 - Oh, you don't care about my health? 393 00:12:03,006 --> 00:12:05,303 You don't care about if Nikolaj grows up without a papa? 394 00:12:05,303 --> 00:12:06,302 You want me to die? 395 00:12:06,302 --> 00:12:08,041 - Honestly? A little. 396 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:09,569 - Hurts. 397 00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:11,667 - I can't believe they all let C.J. and Gina 398 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:12,936 just buy them off. 399 00:12:12,936 --> 00:12:13,935 But we don't need them, 400 00:12:13,935 --> 00:12:15,303 'cause we've got you, 401 00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:16,372 and you're a sergeant. 402 00:12:16,372 --> 00:12:17,371 Did you sign the letter yet? 403 00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:19,469 - Um... I... 404 00:12:19,469 --> 00:12:20,868 - What did he give you? 405 00:12:20,868 --> 00:12:22,936 - He gave me the ability to continue to serve this community 406 00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,603 unencumbered by a necessary oversight. 407 00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:26,672 Now, I really have to... 408 00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:27,841 - What did he give you? 409 00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:29,699 - He gave me a yogurt fridge, all right? 410 00:12:29,709 --> 00:12:32,336 I asked for a yogurt fridge, and I got one, 411 00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:33,905 right next to my desk! 412 00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:34,904 I'm only a man. 413 00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:36,332 - I'm sending this letter 414 00:12:36,342 --> 00:12:39,599 with or without your signature. 415 00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:42,566 Enjoy your blood yogurt. 416 00:12:42,576 --> 00:12:43,975 - I will. 417 00:12:43,975 --> 00:12:45,433 - Time is running out. 418 00:12:45,443 --> 00:12:46,472 We have the right to a phone call. 419 00:12:46,472 --> 00:12:47,741 We need to call the Nine-Nine 420 00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:48,970 so they can sort this out with the sheriff. 421 00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:50,468 - No, they would want to get involved 422 00:12:50,468 --> 00:12:51,607 and that could endanger them. 423 00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:52,836 - They'd be okay with that. 424 00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:53,975 Charles and Amy both love me. 425 00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:55,074 Rosa's not scared of anything. 426 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,572 I'm like a mentor to Terry. 427 00:12:56,572 --> 00:12:57,801 - No, regardless, we don't have time for that. 428 00:12:57,801 --> 00:12:58,840 We just have to tell the truth. 429 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,867 Sheriff, I'm ready to talk. 430 00:13:01,877 --> 00:13:02,966 - This better be good. 431 00:13:02,976 --> 00:13:03,975 I'm a busy man. 432 00:13:03,975 --> 00:13:05,034 - You just spent 30 minutes 433 00:13:05,044 --> 00:13:06,472 trying to win a radio contest. 434 00:13:06,472 --> 00:13:07,701 - For my wife. 435 00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,069 They're giving away Swampsgiving tickets. 436 00:13:09,069 --> 00:13:10,568 - I'm not really Greg, 437 00:13:10,568 --> 00:13:11,707 and that's not Larry. 438 00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,675 We're Captain Raymond Holt 439 00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:16,332 and Detective Jake Peralta of the NYPD: 440 00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:18,300 - We've been targeted by Jimmy "The Butcher" Figgis, 441 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,569 the mafia boss. 442 00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:20,908 We're in witness protection, 443 00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:23,565 and that is the full truth. 444 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,669 Good one. That's a good one. 445 00:13:29,669 --> 00:13:31,837 - Just call the U.S. marshal who handles our case. 446 00:13:31,837 --> 00:13:33,036 She'll explain everything. 447 00:13:33,036 --> 00:13:35,433 - She? Oh, come on. 448 00:13:35,443 --> 00:13:37,401 This is getting crazier by the second. 449 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,938 But I'll tell you, I kind of want to see how it plays out. 450 00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:43,405 Uh-huh. Right. 451 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,073 Okay, will do. 452 00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:46,672 Well, it's a guy, 453 00:13:46,672 --> 00:13:48,670 and he says he's never heard of either one of you. 454 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:51,407 - That's impossible. - Listen for yourself. 455 00:13:51,407 --> 00:13:53,935 - Hello. - It's Figgis. 456 00:13:53,935 --> 00:13:56,532 I have your marshal, and I'm coming for you. 457 00:13:56,542 --> 00:13:58,001 See you soon, Jake. 458 00:13:58,001 --> 00:13:59,000 - Wait. 459 00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:05,303 Great news. 460 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,301 I found Figgis. 461 00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:10,408 - This is bad. 462 00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:11,407 Figgis has the marshal, 463 00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:12,666 and now he knows where we are. 464 00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:13,675 We're sitting ducks. 465 00:14:13,675 --> 00:14:14,804 That's the worst kind of duck. 466 00:14:14,804 --> 00:14:16,372 - Tell that to the Dutch Hookbill. 467 00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:18,340 - Look, the clock is ticking. 468 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:20,368 We only have one option. 469 00:14:20,368 --> 00:14:21,687 Jailbreak. 470 00:14:21,687 --> 00:14:23,005 - And how do you propose to pull that off? 471 00:14:23,005 --> 00:14:25,973 - By using this rag-tag team of inmates. 472 00:14:25,973 --> 00:14:29,069 Our very Suicide Squad. 473 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,568 All right, let's rally the troops. 474 00:14:30,568 --> 00:14:32,966 Hey, fellow prisoners. 475 00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:33,975 Hi, there. 476 00:14:33,975 --> 00:14:34,974 Everyone, look, 477 00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:36,032 we haven't connected as much 478 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,041 as maybe we should have. 479 00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,070 That's our fault. 480 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,499 Why don't I just kick things off. 481 00:14:39,509 --> 00:14:40,938 I'm Jake, 482 00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:42,306 and I like baseball. 483 00:14:42,306 --> 00:14:43,974 Now you say something about yourself. 484 00:14:43,974 --> 00:14:46,332 - I'm Raymond. I don't care for baseball. 485 00:14:46,342 --> 00:14:48,800 - Great, so now that we're all vibing at 100, 486 00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:49,968 quick question: 487 00:14:49,968 --> 00:14:52,965 If there were to a be a jailbreak "of sorts," 488 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,073 how many of you guys would be interested in that? 489 00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:57,001 Obviously if you have any moral objection... 490 00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:58,800 Okay, your hands are already all up, 491 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,068 so I say we hop on this pony. Great. 492 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,707 Now, do any of you have any special skills? 493 00:15:01,707 --> 00:15:03,505 Maybe the ability to pick a lock? 494 00:15:03,505 --> 00:15:04,774 - Uh, I'm Mitch. 495 00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:07,641 I have a glass eye. - Glass eye? 496 00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:10,368 We'll definitely find some use for that. 497 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,837 How about you, sir? - I'm Evan. 498 00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,465 I've been arrested for a lot of different stuff: 499 00:15:13,475 --> 00:15:15,003 public urination, 500 00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:17,541 urinating on private property, 501 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,499 urinating 25 feet from a school, 502 00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:21,407 urinating out of a moving truck. 503 00:15:21,407 --> 00:15:22,666 - I don't think Evan gets what we're doing here. 504 00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:23,675 - Oh, doesn't he? 505 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:24,804 He's been here for weeks. 506 00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:26,532 He knows the guard's comings and goings. 507 00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:27,641 Thank you for sharing, Evan. 508 00:15:27,641 --> 00:15:28,870 You are valued here. 509 00:15:28,870 --> 00:15:29,899 Your turn, old-timer. 510 00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:31,137 It's always guys like this 511 00:15:31,137 --> 00:15:32,366 that unlock the entire operation. 512 00:15:32,376 --> 00:15:33,565 What do you bring to the table? 513 00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:34,874 - I'm Tito. 514 00:15:34,874 --> 00:15:36,902 I'm great at smoking meth. 515 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,339 - And? - Snorting meth. 516 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,468 - And? 517 00:15:40,468 --> 00:15:41,607 - I haven't spoken to my daughter 518 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,335 in a couple of years. 519 00:15:43,335 --> 00:15:44,404 - Oh, that's so sad. 520 00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:45,603 Okay, so find something for Tito to do. 521 00:15:45,603 --> 00:15:47,741 - So I heard from One Police Plaza. 522 00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:49,769 They received my letter, 523 00:15:49,769 --> 00:15:51,807 and apparently they also received hundreds of others 524 00:15:51,807 --> 00:15:53,335 in support of C.J. 525 00:15:53,335 --> 00:15:55,733 - Yeah, Emily and I sent those in, so... 526 00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:58,899 Emily, what was that burn I had you write down for Amy 527 00:15:58,909 --> 00:16:00,438 because I didn't want to forget it? 528 00:16:00,438 --> 00:16:01,867 - "Why so sad? 529 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,405 "Did you just find out American Girl doesn't make clothes 530 00:16:03,405 --> 00:16:04,404 in adult sizes?" 531 00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:05,403 - No. 532 00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:06,602 - "Steven Seagal called 533 00:16:06,602 --> 00:16:07,601 and he wants his ponytail back"? 534 00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:08,600 - Huh-uh. 535 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:09,968 "Hey, Amy, 536 00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:11,337 "what did one graphing calculator 537 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:12,336 "say to the other one? 538 00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:13,465 "What? 539 00:16:13,475 --> 00:16:16,072 What does the sad lady own two of us?" 540 00:16:16,072 --> 00:16:17,701 - That's it? 541 00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:19,299 Hey, Amy... - You know what? 542 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:20,468 Congratulations. 543 00:16:20,468 --> 00:16:21,807 You just made sure that a terrible captain 544 00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:23,605 will be sticking around here indefinitely. 545 00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:24,933 - Come on, Santiago. 546 00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:26,802 We're just trying to make the best of it. 547 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:27,970 Yogurt? - Never! 548 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,499 - Yes! 40,000 steps! 549 00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:30,937 - Boyle! - I can't talk. 550 00:16:30,937 --> 00:16:32,366 I got to keep my heart rate up. 551 00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:34,034 - Hey, can you guys keep it down? 552 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,033 Need a roof on this thing. 553 00:16:35,043 --> 00:16:36,072 Gina, I need a roof. 554 00:16:36,072 --> 00:16:37,071 - Emily. - On it. 555 00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,770 - Listen, you selfish jerks, 556 00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:42,806 that guy in there, the one playing the bongos right now, 557 00:16:42,806 --> 00:16:44,604 he thinks we're killing it, 558 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,972 so he's just staying out of our way. 559 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,471 Well, the only reason we're killing it 560 00:16:47,471 --> 00:16:48,939 is because Captain Holt never let us 561 00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:50,508 be satisfied with ourselves. 562 00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:53,305 He always inspired us to work harder and smarter, 563 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:54,304 to be better. 564 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,633 And if he were here right now, 565 00:16:55,643 --> 00:16:57,001 he'd be ashamed of us. 566 00:16:57,001 --> 00:16:58,770 - Amy, wait! 567 00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:00,438 Oh! Ah! 568 00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:02,466 Ooh, ah! 569 00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:04,374 - You swear this guy's about to meet up with his mistress? 570 00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:05,803 - Yep. Tuesday at 5:00. 571 00:17:05,803 --> 00:17:08,070 It's Tanya time. 572 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,838 - Well, there he goes. 573 00:17:09,838 --> 00:17:11,966 Okay, now we got to get rid of the other deputy. 574 00:17:11,976 --> 00:17:15,073 Glass eye, you're up. 575 00:17:15,073 --> 00:17:17,771 Oh, so much drier than I would have thought. 576 00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:18,770 Did I want it to be wet? 577 00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:19,938 - Jake! - Right! Sorry. 578 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:21,537 Just holding an eyeball in my hand. 579 00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:22,706 No big deal. Here we go. 580 00:17:24,804 --> 00:17:26,672 Yah. 581 00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,300 - What the hell? 582 00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:29,769 Must have gotten too hot. 583 00:17:29,769 --> 00:17:31,537 Sheriff, I'm going to go get a mop. 584 00:17:31,537 --> 00:17:32,566 - Okay. 585 00:17:32,576 --> 00:17:33,605 - And... great. 586 00:17:33,605 --> 00:17:34,734 Now we stage a fight; 587 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:35,872 when the sheriff comes in to break it up, 588 00:17:35,872 --> 00:17:37,571 we take him down. 589 00:17:37,571 --> 00:17:39,339 Fight! Fight! Fight! 590 00:17:39,339 --> 00:17:41,437 - Ah! 591 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,534 - We got us a jail fight. 592 00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:45,673 - Yah! 593 00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:49,998 - Why isn't he coming in? 594 00:17:50,008 --> 00:17:51,507 - I don't know, maybe he's not buying it. 595 00:17:51,507 --> 00:17:54,074 Hit me harder. 596 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,333 - Oh! 597 00:17:55,343 --> 00:17:57,741 - Damn, you knocked him. 598 00:18:00,368 --> 00:18:01,906 - What would it take for him to intervene? 599 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:02,965 Do I actually have to kill you? 600 00:18:02,975 --> 00:18:04,074 - No, he'd probably love that. 601 00:18:04,074 --> 00:18:05,253 - Ugh! 602 00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:06,432 - But you know what he would hate? 603 00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:08,999 Okay, just go with me on this, all right? 604 00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:11,037 Ugh. 605 00:18:11,037 --> 00:18:12,905 I can't stay mad at you. 606 00:18:15,043 --> 00:18:17,541 - Ooh! No! No! 607 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:19,369 - Is it working? - I think so. 608 00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:20,867 - Not in my jail. No, no. 609 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:24,074 Break it up! Whoa! 610 00:18:24,074 --> 00:18:26,702 Stop it! What are you doing? 611 00:18:26,702 --> 00:18:27,870 - It's 2016, man. 612 00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:29,739 This is on you. 613 00:18:29,739 --> 00:18:31,437 - Hey, wait a minute. 614 00:18:31,437 --> 00:18:32,905 You didn't give me anything to do. 615 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:35,033 - You have the most important job of all. 616 00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:36,931 Tell everyone what you saw here today. 617 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,400 - Oh, God bless you. 618 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:39,738 You're giving an old meth head 619 00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:41,607 a reason to live forever and... 620 00:18:41,607 --> 00:18:43,005 - We don't have time for this, Tito! 621 00:18:45,573 --> 00:18:46,602 - Hey, Santiago, 622 00:18:46,602 --> 00:18:47,601 come with me a sec. 623 00:18:47,601 --> 00:18:48,600 - Why? 624 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,738 So you can show off 625 00:18:49,738 --> 00:18:51,567 some new cool thing that C.J. got you? 626 00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:53,734 Let me guess, golden suspenders? 627 00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:56,632 - Can you imagine? I would look amazing. 628 00:18:56,642 --> 00:18:58,739 But that's not what I came here for. 629 00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:01,007 Just follow me to the captain's office. 630 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,006 - Hey, guys. 631 00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:03,465 If Pac-Man were a stapler, 632 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,832 he'd look like a little something like this. 633 00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:08,600 - Okay, so we wanted to talk to you, Captain Stentley... 634 00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:11,337 - Uh-oh. Captain Stentley. 635 00:19:11,337 --> 00:19:12,566 Am I in trouble? - No. 636 00:19:12,576 --> 00:19:13,565 You're our boss. 637 00:19:13,575 --> 00:19:14,873 - Oh, right. 638 00:19:14,873 --> 00:19:15,872 Are you in trouble? 639 00:19:15,872 --> 00:19:16,871 - No, sir. 640 00:19:16,871 --> 00:19:18,070 It's just that the squad feels 641 00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:19,469 we've been taking advantage of you, 642 00:19:19,469 --> 00:19:20,508 and it has to stop. 643 00:19:20,508 --> 00:19:21,637 So... 644 00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:23,635 I returned my yogurt fridge. 645 00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:25,033 - I gave my treadmill desk back. 646 00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:26,901 - I took down my desk walls. 647 00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:28,440 - And I have agreed to fire 648 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,967 my assistant's assistant Dana. 649 00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:32,406 - Dana? Who's Dana? 650 00:19:32,406 --> 00:19:33,675 - Emily had a lot on her plate. 651 00:19:33,675 --> 00:19:34,873 - I don't understand. 652 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,572 I mean, I'm just trying to make you guys happy. 653 00:19:36,572 --> 00:19:37,740 - Well, if you want to do that, 654 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,898 start acting like a real captain. 655 00:19:39,908 --> 00:19:41,437 Make tough choices. 656 00:19:41,437 --> 00:19:43,335 Tell people no sometimes. 657 00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:45,033 - Okay, if you think I need to stop doing 658 00:19:45,043 --> 00:19:47,401 whatever you guys want, 659 00:19:47,401 --> 00:19:48,799 then I will. 660 00:19:48,809 --> 00:19:49,998 - Yeah, that's progress. 661 00:19:50,008 --> 00:19:51,666 - If that's what you guys want. 662 00:19:51,676 --> 00:19:53,335 - I gotta go. - Good talk. 663 00:19:53,335 --> 00:19:54,903 My door's always open, 664 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,072 except when it's closed. 665 00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:57,800 But you can open it when it's closed. 666 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,935 - I can't believe we're fugitives on the lam, 667 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,634 falsely accused of a crime. 668 00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:05,902 - There's nothing false about it. 669 00:20:05,902 --> 00:20:08,240 We committed several felonies and escaped from jail. 670 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,568 - Yeah, but we were just doing what we had to do. 671 00:20:10,568 --> 00:20:12,566 We're the good guys. 672 00:20:12,576 --> 00:20:14,004 This is what they all think. 673 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,033 - Figgis is in town, 674 00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,671 and we have no car, no money, no guns; 675 00:20:16,671 --> 00:20:17,900 we can't go back to our houses 676 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,299 because the police are looking for us. 677 00:20:19,309 --> 00:20:20,667 - It's time to call the Nine-Nine. 678 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:21,806 - Absolutely not. 679 00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:23,065 - What is going on with you? 680 00:20:23,075 --> 00:20:25,932 - Nothing, I just think that we can do it alone. 681 00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:29,668 - Sir, we just shared one of the longest kisses of my life. 682 00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:32,805 I think we can be honest with each other. 683 00:20:32,805 --> 00:20:34,773 - All right. 684 00:20:34,773 --> 00:20:37,401 The Nine-Nine bailed me out once before 685 00:20:37,401 --> 00:20:38,869 when I was taken hostage by Bob, 686 00:20:38,869 --> 00:20:40,538 a man I had put my trust in, 687 00:20:40,538 --> 00:20:41,866 like a fool. 688 00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:44,404 I don't want them to rescue me again. 689 00:20:44,404 --> 00:20:45,473 It's embarrassing. 690 00:20:45,473 --> 00:20:47,471 I need to clean up my own mess. 691 00:20:47,471 --> 00:20:48,999 - Captain, it's the Nine-Nine. 692 00:20:49,009 --> 00:20:50,837 There's nothing wrong with asking for help 693 00:20:50,837 --> 00:20:52,436 from people that care about you. 694 00:20:56,402 --> 00:20:58,769 - This is Sergeant Terry Jeffords. 695 00:20:58,769 --> 00:20:59,898 Captain Holt! 696 00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:01,666 Sir. Captain Stentley. 697 00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,065 There's an urgent situation, 698 00:21:03,075 --> 00:21:05,602 and we need 72 hours off to go to Florida. 699 00:21:05,602 --> 00:21:06,631 Now, I can't why... 700 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:07,800 - Absolutely not. 701 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,339 - What? 702 00:21:09,339 --> 00:21:10,767 - The Eight-Six said they would cover for us, 703 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:11,906 and this very important! 704 00:21:11,906 --> 00:21:12,865 - That's enough. 705 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,673 Someone once told me 706 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:15,732 that being a captain means 707 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,400 telling people no. 708 00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:19,738 Oh, wait, that was you guys. 709 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:20,967 You guys told me that. 710 00:21:20,967 --> 00:21:22,036 Anyway, you were right. 711 00:21:22,036 --> 00:21:23,435 You can't go. 712 00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:25,872 - Sorry, guys. 713 00:21:25,872 --> 00:21:27,501 I kind of feel like this is my fault. 714 00:21:27,501 --> 00:21:29,439 - "I kind of feel like this is my fault." 715 00:21:29,439 --> 00:21:30,468 - Not now, Emily. 716 00:21:32,436 --> 00:21:34,504 - Not a doctor. - Shh.